3.02.2010

I CAN Sleep!!

Last week Mj decided to so cruelly hide my sleeping pills from me. His logic is that I have become entirely too dependent on them and that my inability to sleep is all in my head.

I was a bit annoyed by the prospect of him thinking that it was all in my head. Laying in bed night after night, not sleeping and feeling physically ill at work due to lack of sleep was most certainly not imagined! How dare he! I can however agree with the possibility that I had become too dependent on them. I no longer even wanted to take the chance of not sleeping so had just gotten into the habit of taking them every night that I had to go to work the next day. I've been using them for about 6 months. There were a couple nights since Mj has been back that I forgot or just decided to give it a try without and they didn't go too well.

Until last week. No pills and amazingly I slept. Some nights not as good as others but I fell asleep within a reasonable amount of time, stayed asleep for a reasonable amount of time and woke up feeling rested. Amazing. I have slept great so far this week too. Why couldn't I do that before? Not sleeping is what drove me to get a Rx in the first place and now apparently I no longer need them.

Insomnia has been sort of a cyclical thing that has occurred off and on for me since College. When it hits it hits. I lay there for hours and hours, wait for the alarm to go off and spend my work day in a nauseated sleep deprived fog. Often for weeks and months on end. It's awful. There usually is no explanation that I can find for why I am NOT sleeping so not surprisingly I can find no explanation now that I AM.

Whatever. I'll take it. I am almost scared to acknowledge that I can sleep because I am afraid it won't last. I am glad it's over at least for now and I have some pills I can use for back up if the need arises-should Mj ever decided to reveal their secret location.

2 comments :

Olivea said...

I have struggled with insomnia on and off for about a year now. I swear by lavender linen spray, a sleep mask, a fan for white noise, and for the morning, an eye brightening cream!

Sweetness said...

I'm glad you gave yourself a chance. I'm sure you will carry on well without those pills, I do know how nasty can insomnia be!

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