3.20.2013

Calgon Take Me Away

My job is not important.  I mean, it's important to me in that it keeps my bills paid and I'm glad to have it.  It's important in that what I do matters to others in the way that most jobs do.  Any position from a retail cashier to a front desk manager provides a service that someone needs.  It's just that it's not important in the life saving way that being a doctor or a firefighter is.  It's not important in the cool factor way that a graphic designer or screenwriter is.  I don't make big decisions, close high powered deals or further world peace when I go to work.  There is nothing glamorous or exciting about it either for that matter.  I do have an integral role in my office but sometimes I feel like I just sit at a desk all day staring at two giant monitors and facilitating arguments with faculty about prerequisites. 

Over the last 3 1/2 weeks I've had moments where I feel extremely overwhelmed.  I get that lump in my throat and feel a little bit like I'm drowning inside.  It's reminding me of the way that I used to feel when I worked in auto claims.  The only difference is that it was a million times worse.  I made more money but I used to cry on my way home.  No job is worth that so I'm glad I quit when I did even thought it took me 8 years to do it.  For me the issue is not that I have a crap ton of work to do because I'm fine with that.  It's what I'm there for.  The thing that stresses me out is the mass quantity all at once and fear that I won't be able to do it all or that I won't be able do a good job.  It isn't until I dig in and knock some of the work out and see that maybe I can do it after all that I start to feel a little better.  I guess I don't handle stress very well.  I really just need to skip the whole freaking out part and just have more confidence in myself in the first place that I can get it done because I usually do.  It's not always perfect but nobody around here expects me to be as long as I'm doing my best.  When I'm having stressful days at work I can't help but wonder what it must be like to be a doctor.  At my job if I make a mistake it's not the end of the world even if people act like it is but if you make a mistake when you are a doctor, detective or an air traffic controller it actually can be the end of the world for someone.  It boggles my mind how someone can go to work every day with that kind of pressure and here I am stressing out over curriculum. 

The good thing is that I don't take it home with me.  At 5pm when I walk run out the door I leave it there and enjoy the space of time I get away from it.  That's another difference between where I'm at now and where I was.  Before, I was so miserable with my job in general that it invaded my life.   It followed me home and I never got any peace from it.  Now, it's just work and I can leave it at the door and deal with it when I get back.   Another good thing is that I don't hate my job.  It's not like this all the time and I really like my co workers and overall work situation. Every year in March when we face this big deadline things get really crazy in our office.  Combine that with a chronically broken database and fall out from budget cuts and we are all shaking our heads at how much work needs to get done and not really knowing how we're going to do it.

My make up routine is usually minimal to none and this week it has definitely been none.  Not a even a dash of lip gloss has graced my lips.  I'm not sure how much it matters when my head is buried in my desk all day anyway.  There has been lots of stress snacking going on.  One of my co workers actually came around with plastic spoons and was giving out samples from a small fro yo she picked up on her lunch break.  We are all craving chocolate by noon.  It may seem like there is no end in sight at the moment as we dig our way out but we'll get there.  It just kinda sucks at the moment.

17 comments :

Helene said...

I feel the EXACT same way about my job. it's so hard to feel like that, I hate it. but it's good that we don't take it home with us. thankfully.

Mrs JK said...

We get those intense periods at my job from time to time, and like you, make up takes a back seat :). I to wonder how doctors and the like manage. Cause when I'm stressed I'm stressed at home too. I can't seem to separate it from my personal life. Hope what ever is stressing you comes to an end soon. :)

Christine said...

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time with your job right now :( That's so great though that you are able to leave that stress at work. I hope things start looking up for you very soon!

ruthy ann said...

i've had those jobs...most of my jobs though were the kind that I couldn't let go of at 5pm...so happy to have finally resigned from the corporate world!

Carla said...

Trust me, I know the feeling. I've been there, but I dealt with medical collections. I used to always dread going to work and being there for 8 hours, but.. it paid the bills. But, I came to a point where I just had to leave.. and that was only after about 7 months. The job was just entirely too stressful and I didn't need the added stress while being pregnant.

If you like your job and times like this are every blue moon, stick it out and try your best to deal with it in the best way that you can. It'll all be over soon enough. (:

Newlyweds on a Budget said...

I feel the same way about my job, but it's not as stressful. sometimes i can't stand my boss, but what keeps me going is that i now she plans on retiring in the next five years, so at least it's not FOREVER. I also wear very minimal makeup at work, and i always wear flats.

Lauren said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling so stressed about your job, lately. I hope everything starts going better for you. On the positive side, it sounds like your co-workers are nice. And it's good that you don't take it home with you.

Lauren
http://choosingjoy7.blogspot.com/

Whitney Cypert said...

Goodness, it sounds like March has been super busy! I'm sorry you've been stressing out at work lately. All jobs make me feel like that, I hate jobs. With a passion. But, it is awesome that you don't hate this job, and that you don't take it home with you. Those are important things. I think jobs get extra stressful when you take them home with you. And it sounds like you have cool coworkers, bringing around froyo samples and all! : )

Law_Fal said...

Work can be super stressful at times. I wish there was a way to pursue passions and not have to worry about paying the bills. I pray that things get better for you there or you find a better position elsewhere :-)

Pegster said...

Sorry you feel this way. At least you don't hate your job. It would be nice to feel more useful though. Good thing you can leave it behind when you leave at 5pm :), I can definitely relate to that.

Dr. Reginia; The Social Mistress said...

It's something about March in the work place that drives me nuts and everyone else around. During the month of March a RUN out everyday.

Susannah said...

I think it's so hard to have a job that you're not passionate about. That's totally where I am as well. How awesome would the world be if the average job wasn't just something that allowed us to bring home money. :-)

Faith said...

That's what it's like for me at the ending of the year. It gets so busy and I just feel like it's never-ending. And I completely snack all day. It is such a relief when it's over.

But the best thing you said was that you don't take it home with you. There are so many people who don't do that and they are miserable all the time.

Hope things get back to normal every soon!

Faith said...

Very*

Francesca Giusti said...

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LWLH said...

I feel the same way about my job. It is def. not something I want to do for the rest of my life but until I can find something, it has to do in the mean time.

Kim Jackson said...

We all have those moments (read: days), but thank goodness they are temporary. Meditation really helps me to get through when I'm feeling overwhelmed like that. I will literally stop what I am doing, and take 5 minutes to just breathe deeply and clear my mind at my desk. I also like to listen to inspiring podcasts or videos to bring me back around. Hang in there!

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