Over the last 3 1/2 weeks I've had moments where I feel extremely overwhelmed. I get that lump in my throat and feel a little bit like I'm drowning inside. It's reminding me of the way that I used to feel when I worked in auto claims. The only difference is that it was a million times worse. I made more money but I used to cry on my way home. No job is worth that so I'm glad I quit when I did even thought it took me 8 years to do it. For me the issue is not that I have a crap ton of work to do because I'm fine with that. It's what I'm there for. The thing that stresses me out is the mass quantity all at once and fear that I won't be able to do it all or that I won't be able do a good job. It isn't until I dig in and knock some of the work out and see that maybe I can do it after all that I start to feel a little better. I guess I don't handle stress very well. I really just need to skip the whole freaking out part and just have more confidence in myself in the first place that I can get it done because I usually do. It's not always perfect but nobody around here expects me to be as long as I'm doing my best. When I'm having stressful days at work I can't help but wonder what it must be like to be a doctor. At my job if I make a mistake it's not the end of the world even if people act like it is but if you make a mistake when you are a doctor, detective or an air traffic controller it actually can be the end of the world for someone. It boggles my mind how someone can go to work every day with that kind of pressure and here I am stressing out over curriculum.
The good thing is that I don't take it home with me. At 5pm when I
My make up routine is usually minimal to none and this week it has definitely been none. Not a even a dash of lip gloss has graced my lips. I'm not sure how much it matters when my head is buried in my desk all day anyway. There has been lots of stress snacking going on. One of my co workers actually came around with plastic spoons and was giving out samples from a small fro yo she picked up on her lunch break. We are all craving chocolate by noon. It may seem like there is no end in sight at the moment as we dig our way out but we'll get there. It just kinda sucks at the moment.