|Me and my manuscript|
I didn't look at it for a few days after I finished but then tons of ideas started rolling in and the editing process began. It was non stop. I was jotting down notes in my phone and imagining different scenarios in my head constantly. Every time I looked at it I was frantically adding or changing something. It was way easier then writing the thing in the first place. I was really enjoying it and had a lot more fun with it than I had in a while. That went on for a month until it got really exhausting and I needed it to stop. I added 3,219 words and 14 pages by then when I have a feeling I probably need to trim it down. I was so enmeshed that after a while I couldn't see what I was reading anymore. I felt like I was changing things just to be changing them so I knew it was time to take a break. I still hadn't made up my mind about letting anyone read it.
My parents were coming down that Saturday and I decided right then and there that I was going to FedEx Kinko's to print it out and I was going to let my mom read it. I always knew that if I let anyone read it at all it would be her. I had come to a nice resting point with the editing and I couldn't look at it anymore so it seemed like the right time to take a break. I can get some feedback, regroup and then go over it again for more edits with a fresh eye.
It takes a while to print out that many pages so we were there for a bit and it was really special having my mom there. At one point the lady doing the print job said, "So who's the author?" I got to raise my hand and say, "Me. I wrote it," and that felt really good. Thank goodness I told her double sided because when finished it was pretty thick. It cost me $25 bucks! I planned to put it into a binder but it would have been a whole lot of pages to three hole punch and I didn't even have a binder that thick so it went into a box. That stack of paper is a physical representation of so much time and effort. I wrote all of that? It's really hard to believe. I finally have something to show for all those years I've been tapping away at my computer. I can officially say I have a manuscript now and it feels really strange because I never imagined myself to be a person that would ever get to say that.
|My shadow on the beaches of Playa Del Carmen, MX|
It's fiction. It might not be any good but the story I've poured my heart and and soul into for three years is done and that alone makes me really happy because wishing I could write a novel got really old. I wanted to do it. There are many things in life I haven't got a shot in hell at accomplishing but deep down I knew that writing a novel was not one of those things. I wasn't convinced I could do it but I had to try because there are some things in life that you know you have to do even if you don't believe that you can. I wanted to accomplish at least one goal in my lifetime that I could be really be proud of. This is that thing and I'm glad to finally be able to say I did it.