I Miss This Face


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Whenever he puts on that uniform it means he's leaving.  Two years ago it was for a month here and a week there that culminated in a year long deployment..  This year so far it's mostly a weekend  but this time around it was for a week.  They split his two week drill into two separate weeks so he was only gone one week but will be gone for another week next month.  Well, it's better then a year and after going through that a week or a weekend really is nothing but it still makes me sad.  He usually has to leave really early in the morning while I'm still in bed.  I wipe my eyes and put on my glasses so I can get a good look at his handsome face one last time.  He comes to my bedside to give me a hug and a kiss like he usually does before leaving for work except this time instead of a button up shirt and tie he's wearing his Army fatigues.  He sits on the bed and hugs me and I don't want to let go.  I kiss him a few extra times and hug him a little longer then usual.  He is freshly shaved and I rub my cheek against his smooth face and squeeze him extra tight.

As I lay in bed with my eyes closed I listen as the garage door opens downstairs and closes after he drives away and tears leak out of my eyes.  I wonder why it still makes me cry when it's only one week. When he's away it's like a little part of me is missing too.  Sunday I get a text message.  I open my phone and I start laughing.  He sent me this adorable picture.  I text him back  "I love this pic, you are so cute! Thank you."  This pic will get me through the week.  Looking at it makes me smile.

He is making the 5 hour drive back right now.  By the time I get off work he will already be at home waiting for me.  I'm cooking dinner.  Our pro wedding pics are online now but since he wasn't here we are going to look at them this weekend.  Together.

Just Wanna Go Home

I'm a creature of habit. I like to stick to my routine, I like things to make sense and I really value my time at home after I get off work considering it is so limited. So that's why I was hugely annoyed when I learned there would be a scheduled training for a promo job that I agreed to work this week. By the time I get home it's about 5:30 pm and I like to come home, shower, put on my comfy casuals watch a little bit of TV and relax. Needless to say I was really put out when I found out the training would be on Tuesday on 7:30 pm for 45 minutes. You mean to tell me that my entire evening is now spoiled for a training that we probably don't really need in the first place?

This is already a busy week for me. A 7:30 pm training downtown means that I don't have time to zig zag back and forth across town and go home. I am stuck without anything to do for a couple of hours after I get off work when all I wanna do is go home. Wednesday I have a hair appointment so I won't get home until close to 8pm and then Thursday the promo job runs until 10:30pm. That's three long days in a row and I don't like it one bit. I know. I'm such baby when it comes to this and I know I should just get over it but for some reason I couldn't and I was just so mad.

When I really think about it I am lucky that I get to do this kind of work at all. It's a better paying part time gig then anything else I can think of. I don't get to model much anymore and doing promos kind of keeps me involved and maintains my relationship with my agency. I can't always do these considering I work full time but the general rule I have with myself is that if the agency gets me booked for a promo job I will do it if I can work it into my schedule. I could use the money and I enjoy it so to do otherwise would just be lazy. Fine. But a training? What's the point?

It's not like promo jobs are all that difficult. We are paid to look good and promote a brand. I don't consider it "real" modeling but they pay well and goodness knows I could use the extra money. The jobs range from boring, awful or exhausting to fun and easy.  Often a lot of back breaking standing on your feet.  You usually never know what you are doing until you show up. One of my fav's was years ago when I got to watch Beyonce in concert for free and get paid for it! I feel a little old for the alcohol promo's but not too much of that comes through the agency anyways. I am usually one of the "older" girls which is fine by me because despite my creaky knees I can pass for younger and no one really notices that I'm probably a good 10 years older then the youngest!

Resigned to my fate I drive downtown and manage to find free parking. I sit in my car for about an hour or so reading a magazine and wishing I was at home. I decide to venture out to kill more time and trip on something in the sidewalk to the point where I almost break my sandals. Irritated, I walk towards the hotel where the training is and realize that it's right across from this little tourist spot with shops and restaurants right by the Marina. I take a little walk by the water and take in the smells of the different restaurants. I was disgruntled and not expecting any photo ops.  I didn't have a camera with me and my phone is a million years old so I couldn't take a picture of all of the pretty boats bobbing up and down in the water or the cool horse drawn carriage waiting for customers to carry downtown. I wander into a few shops. The light breeze feels good on my face. I live in a beautiful place and I don't take it for granted but I do sometimes forget that all of this is right here in my backyard.

The pic I would have taken if I'd had a "real" phone. Courtesy of google images.

Suddenly my mood has lifted and I am no longer upset about this whole change in my routine. I got to lay my eyes on the pretty marina and take a nice walk. It was refreshing. Just walking through the hotel was an experience because it was so grand and beautiful. I couldn't help but wonder how much a wedding there would cost! Then, I actually enjoyed meeting the event organizers and the other models-two of which I have worked with before years ago.  Yeah, we probably didn't really need this kind of prep but the marketing company running the event is really organized and wanted to go that extra step. We picked out our sizes and found out a little bit about what we would be doing. I'm actually really excited about working Thursday's event.

Sure, I'd rather have been at home in my jammies watching the latest episode of "If I can Dream" on hulu and I'm tired now because I didn't get home until 9:30pm and got to bed late but it wasn't so bad. I wasted so much energy being angry. I can be so set in my ways sometimes. It just goes to show you that sometimes no matter how hard you try to disregard that silver lining sometimes it hunts you down and taps you on the shoulder anyways.

An Anthropologie Experience

Can't wait to wear this cute top
"Oh, they have an Anthropologie." I was with my big sis at the mall on Sunday and we wandered in there because we just so happened to be passing by and I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Every female seems to adore their clothes and abhor the prices so I have purposefully never checked out the website or made any attempt to walk in the store-not that I see them too often.  You know, that whole ignorance is bliss thing.  I certainly don't need another store on top of Express AND The Limited that I covet but can't really afford to shop at without coupons.  And something tells me Anthropologie is not very coupon friendly.

I made my way through the store fingering their lovely expensive clothes and hoping not to fall in love. Without planning to I walked out with an adorable clearance sleeveless top -First Flight Tee for $29.99. A bit high for just a tank but you can really feel the quality. The material is so soft and luxurious and I love the little lacy fringe on the shoulder that gives it such a girly yet sophisticated look.  It's so not in my budget but after months of buying mostly stuff for the house I just sorta said "What the hell" and bought it.  Clearance is the only way I'll likely ever buy anything from that store again considering the prices but I really do love their chic and elegant yet girly style.  They have great dresses and tops.  They make cotton look fancy which is perfect for a girl like me who if given an ultimatum would choose comfort over fashion-especially when it comes to my footwear-but REALLY wants to have both.  With Anthro I get this distinct feeling that I could have the best of both worlds and find myself dreaming of my entire closet filled with their pieces.  What if my entire wardrobe was all Anthropologie?  I couldn't help but to look effortlessly fabulous-all the time.  And then I imagine how much that would cost me.  Bubble bursting.  So not happening!!

Incidentally, without even realizing it I actually have two tops from Anthro.  Both given to me by my trendy fashionista little sis as gifts over the last couple of years because she really is just cool like that.  She has been a fan of Anthro for quite a while now along with everyone else.  Now I have one more piece to add to my not really growing collection. I feel pretty cool now that I bought a shirt from Anthropologie although I don't know when or even if it will happen again.  At least not anytime soon!  And yes, I fell in love just a little bit but this store is so far out of my reach that it pretty much kills the whole temptation factor I was afraid of.

Quality Time With Big Sis

I have adequately mourned the passing of my wedding.  No more planning to be done.  No more "So, how is the wedding going?" inquiries or "Bride to be" comments.  That's been replaced with "How was the wedding?" which allows me the opportunity to reminisce and relive my princess moment again and again.  I have paid homage to the magical event by posting blogs and pictures here and on face book.   I have carefully documented and analyzed every moment and every emotion which I will have saved forever.  I have reveled in the awesome memories and gotten closure on my cake.  We got gifts and did a little house shopping with our loot.  Accordingly, I think it's about time I talk about something else.  Bummer. I loved my wedding and being "The Bride" more after the wedding then I did before and as much as I would kind of like to do it all over again I can't.  It's kind of a one time thing.  I am still waiting anxiously for the professional pics and the video my little sis is making for us which will undoubtedly inspire another round of wedding talk but sadly I guess it's time to move on with other topics of interest. For now.

This past weekend was spent with my big sis.  She came down and spent the weekend with me while hubby is out of town.  I wanted to spend some quality time with her before the baby is born and totally takes over her life-even more then he already has.  At 8 months she is about to pop and her belly is HUGE.  I got to really see and touch a pregnant belly up close for the first time.  It's surprisingly hard and it's amazing how her skin has stretched and her stomach has grown so much.  She is slow, tires easily, has swollen sausage feet, sometimes doesn't fit into booths, and can hardly reach her feet to put on lotion or socks.  She can only wear flip flops and sun dresses.  She can't sleep well and when the baby moves it feels like he's scratching at her insides.  Her thighs have developed cottage cheese for the first time ever and she has to give herself insulin shots and strictly monitor her diet.  Sounds a little bit like hell and I am in no rush to do any of that anytime soon and maybe not EVER. 

Saturday we saw Eclipse at the movies [even though she already saw it] and did a few errands.  Don't ask me how but somehow I managed to loose a 6 pack double roll package of toilet paper somewhere between Walmart and my car.  I went to the car to put all of my stuff in there while my sister stayed in the mall and when we got home later that day I realized the toilet paper was missing.  I know I walked out of the store with it.  Who looses a giant package of toilet paper in the parking lot?  Me.  We went to Denny's for dinner that night.  Apparently no one else quite recognizes what a true gem good old Denny's is aside from us so even though I can't get anyone else to go there with me anymore it was actually our top pick.  We stayed up late, well past her bedtime watching TV and talking up a storm.  There is no shortage of conversation or things to talk about when we are together.

Sunday we went to the mall so she could go to Mac Cosmetics and finally use the gift card I got her back in May for her B Day.  I had to re buy my toilet paper at Target.  So sad.  We went to dinner again-us sister's have never been into cooking-and then watched the movie we picked out at Blockbuster that turned out to be really bad.  We spent a lot of time hanging out on the couch in front of the TV.  It didn't matter what we did it was just nice to spend some quality time with my big sis again like we used to.   

Her dream of having a baby and being a stay at home mom is finally coming true. I am so happy for her and excited to have a nephew. This is the first baby in our family.  She finds out when she will be induced some time this week.  Things worked out about as well as we could have hoped.  She got to come to the wedding and mom has been loving having her back at home for a while.  She gets to stay out here and have her baby then her and her husband will be moving to Vegas where he got stationed which is a hell of a lot closer then where she was before.  She moved away 4 years ago and it's when we spend time together like this that I really realize just how much I miss having her around.  That might be the last time we get to hang out like that in a long, long time and it does makes me a little bit sad.  Her life is drastically changing but she will always be my sister and neither time nor distance or itty bitty babies will ever change that.