Victoria's Secret Giveaway

Even if you don't believe in Valentine's Day or giveaways for that matter, most women wholeheartedly believe in Victoria's Secret myself included.  Shane put together this awesome giveway to give one lucky lady a $215 gift card to spoil yourself silly!  I know, I know...there are a lot of entries and the odds of winning is just that; odd but you never know unless you try.  Take Faith for example.  She says she never ever wins anything and hardly ever enters but she took a chance on my last giveaway and won.  She didn't even complete every entry.  This one is bigger, but like I said; you never know unless you try.

Alisha / Jan / Becca / Andrea / Bre / Alyssa / Victoria /  Shane / Whitney / Jenn / Elizabeth / Brianna / Ashlee / Megan / Stephanie / Tara / Megan / Cece / Chelsea / Kelly / Megan / Lesley / Emily

Giveaway will run until February 14th. All entries will be verified, so play nicely.  Good Luck!!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram

Too Many Crazies

This is probably old news to some of you.  It happened last month and I was probably under the same rock I tend to be hiding under when big news hits.  Or maybe I haven't been doing enough cardio.  I'm always more up to date on the news when I'm spending time on the elliptical.

Last month a man shot another man in Florida because he was texting during the previews in a movie theater.  It's so ridiculous it sounds like a joke but it's not.  The victim Chad Oulson was in the theater with his wife and he was texting his daughter during the previews.  A man sitting in the row behind him; Curtis Reeves didn't like the texting and told him to stop.  He got up presumably to make a complaint.  When he came back Chad stood up to ask if he went to tell on him.  They argued, Chad threw popcorn and then he was shot dead right there.  The shooter was a retired police officer.

What the hell?  Sadly, I shouldn't be surprised because of all the public shootings that have been going on for years now, but really?  A wife has to lose her husband and a daughter has to lose her father because some guy is either mentally unstable or just had a really bad day?  Maybe Chad should never have stood up, maybe he should not have thrown popcorn but regardless, that is absolutely no justification for this man's crazy and reckless actions.  Apparently the shooter is claiming self defense.  I know that by law you don't have to physically touch someone with your hands for it to be considered assault but a gunshot is an extreme defense to popcorn thrown especially when the texting that started it all didn't even warrant a comment.  The entire situation should have never happened.

There is no texting allowed during the movie and obviously no weapons allowed inside.  How can he get so angry about someone else not even technically breaking the rules when he was breaking the law by having a gun?  I wonder if he had the gun on him the whole time or if he went and got it from his car when he walked out?  Not that it matters.  The movie they were there to see was Lone Survivor which features a beautiful tribute before and after to people who fight and die for their country.  People dying oversees in war is hard enough to take but to die in a movie theater for texting?  There are hardly words to describe how sad and ridiculous that is.  It makes me so angry that people take guns and killing so casually. Like it just something to do.

I heard on the news last week that a Girl Scout selling cookies door to door had a gun pulled on her.  Apparently, a man answered the door with a gun at his side. He pointed the gun at her saying she should know better then to come to his door before slamming the door shut.  Who even knows why.  Her dad saw it happen, called the police and he was taken into custody.

It's a crazy world we live in.  I used to sell Girl Scout cookies door to door and I don't think anyone would ever imagine back then that something like this would happen.  I also used walk to and from school in junior high and now if I had kids I'd be terrified of having them walk to school when kids are being kidnapped right out of their homes. 

There are too many crazies in the world and sadly it just seems to be getting worse.

Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram

House Arrest

I really appreciate all of your comments on my last post.  I was so scared!  It was nice to see some of the comments before surgery.  I gave myself a pass and didn't reply, but this is me giving you a big giant reply all thank you right now.

Friday was a really long day. As long as it was for me it was even longer for MJ since I was basically unconscious for part of it.  We left the house around 8:30 and didn't get home until around 7pm.  It was all very organized but there were many stations to get through.  We checked in, I was sent to pre op where I got these cute little purple non skid socks with white paws on them and a purple gown.  The coolest thing about this gown is that it had a ventilation system.  When I got all trembly and freaked out about the IV they were able to put the hose right into a hole and heat me up from the inside out.  I really need something like that for work where it's always freezing.

My own surgery collage.  I look so awesome I couldn't just decide on one.

I was in surgery for 3 1/2 hours.  When they wheeled me into the operating room Wake Me Up by Avicci was playing. Usually I listen to that song at the gym but it was perfect operation music. "So wake me up when it's all over." So they woke me up when it was all over and I had 3 holes in my belly.  My first thought was; I did it!!  It's over!!  Once the anesthesia wore off I moved onto the final recovery station before you get to go home.  It took me about an hour to eat 2 crackers because I was still nauseated.  I nibbled on them like a rabbit and was rewarded with two Percocet.  They don't rush you, but I was really tired and I know MJ was probably really over it by then.  Once I finally finished those crackers I moved onto next challenge.  Nobody goes home unless they demonstrate the ability to get up and go potty.  Less then two hours after surgery I was standing up and hobbling my way to the bathroom.  Standing up brought on more nausea so I asked for a barf bag just in case but I didn't need it.

I'm a big wimp and a huge chicken.  Like most people I hate needles and pain.  Surgery it not exactly something you put on your list of monthly goals but it felt like a big accomplishment.  As I was wheeled out of the hospital I felt really proud of myself for being stronger then I thought I would be.  MJ thought I'd be a complete disaster but I wasn't.   I didn't even take the anti anxiety meds that I asked my doctor to prescribe in case I needed it to get in the door.  The worse part really, was getting the IV-which they had to do twice because apparently I have tiny veins.  After that you are knocked out for everything else that's gonna hurt.  My doctor the surgeon was awesome and everyone was so nice. The pre op room is huge and kind of like an assembly line with rows of patients on each side waiting for the operating room but the nurses are so attentive. There is an entire team dedicated to getting you prepped, attending to your surgery and then taking care of you after.  They made me feel very comfortable and well cared for from start to finish. 

On the day of surgery I ate 9 crackers.  2 at the hospital and 7 later that night.  I call it the surgery diet.  I don't recommend it.  On Saturday I was still eating light.  MJ had football in the morning so my parents came down early to be with me.  My mom is so sweet.  She brought flowers and made me soup.  By Sunday my appetite was back to normal.   I've been eating leftovers for 3 days from a super bowl party I didn't even attend.  MJ went to his friend's house (with my blessing) to watch the game.  I ate a slice of pizza for dinner two nights in a row and today I started in on the Chili.  

On night one I was almost in tears trying to get up for the bathroom in the middle of the night but it's taking me less time to get up now and I'm getting more and more mobile every day.  Being forced to sleep on my back all night makes it hard to get comfortable and I miss cuddling with MJ but overall I'm doing okay.  The drugs are doing their thing so I haven't really been in too much pain.  Mostly just discomfort. Every time I move.   Totally manageable.

MJ has been taking such good care of me.  He makes sure I take my pills, he feeds me.  He took my bandages off when I was too scared too look at my incisions and coaxed me into the shower when I was afraid of getting them wet.  You gotta love a guy who helps you put on your underwear when you can barely stand up, waits on you hand and foot, sees you in tired old baggy pajamas for days and still calls you cute.  He's the best.   I don't know what I would have done without him. I am mad at him for "accidentally" scaring me so bad that I screamed hard enough to hurt my belly.  He's really going to have to stop that when we get old or he might cause a heart attack.

It's still really hard to believe that my only job for at least two weeks is to rest.  I can't drive.  I'm not supposed to be cleaning, doing errands or working out.  I can sit on the couch watching TV all day long and be a total and complete bum without guilt.   How often does one get an opportunity like this?   Pretty much never and it sucks that it requires major surgery to get it, but I'll take it.  I haven't gone anywhere since Friday's surgery.  It's like being on house arrest without the ankle bracelet and the introvert that I am is totally embracing it.  Normally I loathe the rain but after months of oddly warmer temps we finally got some.  I didn't mind it one bit because I got to burrow under the covers all morning and then spend all day in jammies.  I got out of bed when I felt like it and gingerly made my way downstairs to set up camp on the couch.

Mj thinks I'll get sick of it but I'm not so sure.

Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram

Scared

I really hate hospitals. Who doesn't? Every time I go to one I see something I wish I hadn't seen.  After I see it I can't just unsee it so there it is burning an impression in my mind until it finally fades away and I move onto something else to obsess over.

I was there for an MRI.  Gosh those machines are huge and loud.  I had dye injected in one arm and an organ relaxer in the other.  I'm so glad I didn't know that MRI's can come with shots or else it would have been one more thing for me to worry about.  I didn't find out until just before I changed  into my lovely hospital gown.  I survived and then I headed to the lab to do my blood work and went back to work only to feel like crap about 30 minutes later and have to leave early.  I guess it was all just a little too much for me.  When I got home I laid between the cool sheets burrowed under the covers and thought to myself that this time in two days I'm probably going to feel about 10x worse then this.  Maybe 50x worse even.  I napped and was thankful to feel like my old self again in a few hours.

Do yourself a favor and don't google your surgery before you have it.  I mean, it's a good idea to be well informed and the internet is nothing if not informative but the two weeks that I spent obsessively dredging the internet for every possible horror story known to man was pretty exhausting.   I mean, chances are you can't not do it but just know that it's probably going to freak you out more then anything.  It's really, really hard not to think of all the things that could go wrong but at some point you must take a chill pill and let it go.

If you are reading this right now it means I'm on my way to the hospital and it's taken a lot of soul searching, anxiety and second guessing to get here.  It's a hard decision to make when there are no solid answers. About anything. I haven't mentioned it to anyone I know outside of family.  Telling it makes it real. Your last day at works makes it even more real. I'm sort of in denial that it's happening because technically, even up until the moment I arrived at the hospital I could change my mind and bolt.  I never saw myself doing that but you can't tell someone that you are having surgery one day and then show up for happy hour the next.  You don't tell someone something like that unless you know for certain that you are which I did; except I like to keep my options open until the very last minute.  I have a very difficult time making decisions about even the smallest most insignificant things let alone the slicing of my skin.  If you are reading this right now it means I waited until the very last moment to hit publish just in case I changed my mind even though I knew that I wouldn't.

I wasn't sure if I'd mention it here, but it felt really weird not to.  Not that I tell you everything because I don't but this is a big deal and this is my blog and it really just felt like I should.  I don't know if or when I will feel comfortable talking about what kind of surgery I'm having but I know that today is not that day. This is my first "real" surgery anesthesia and all so I don't know how I'm going to feel or what to expect.  If I'm not active in blog land you'll know why.

Oh, and that thing I saw at the hospital that I wish I could unsee was a deceased person.  Not exactly the kind of thing you want to see on the eve of your first surgery or EVER for that matter.  Lying on a stretcher snugly wrapped in a blue blanket from head to toe was the unmistakable form of a person who had taken their last breath.  The worst thing about it is that the guy was lost.  He rolled that stretcher up and down the hallway right past me twice trying to figure out where he was going.  The MRI's are done on the basement level and I think that's also where the morgue is. 

I can't unsee it but I'm desperately trying to push that image out of my mind.  It's routine surgery.  The people who love me tell me that I will be okay and as terrified as I am I believe them.   I am young.  I'm healthy.  I'm strong.  I plan on taking lots of drugs.  I'll be okay.

Please send good thoughts my way. I'll check in when I can.

Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram