Our Wedding Rocked [Part IV]

I was never that little girl who dreamed of having a wedding. I never had visions of where I wanted it or what dress I would wear. Not that I didn't want one. I think I mostly just believed it was something I could never have. For me it was something that other people get to do. Not something I would never be able to afford or ever be lucky enough to have for myself.

I was so blase about it at the beginning. Is it worth the money? Do we really need to do all of this? We are buying a house this year-can we really justify it?  Now that I have done it I completely understand what all of the fuss is about and I am so glad I didn't miss out. It is worth every penny. This amazing night was truly priceless and I am thrilled that I will always have this precious memory of celebrating our marriage with friends and family.  I have never felt more beautiful in my entire life.  There is something about that pristine white dress.  Something about celebrating love and the combining of two people that brings out this incredible outpouring of emotion and joy.  There is nothing like it.  There is so much planning and effort involved yet it goes by in a flash. All of these people are there with you in this special moment and then in the blink of an eye they are gone. There are so many precious memories to treasure.  I can honestly say it was easily one of the best days of my life.  And when you think about it that's really how it should be-that's why us brides do this at all.  It's more then just a party and more then a wedding to me.  It's a feeling.  It is a momentous moment and it is absolutely magical.

We packed up the centerpiece parts and gathered up our belongings.  The gifts were packed into the car.  We said our final good byes to the last group of people.  For a moment I feel relief that all the planning and meetings and weekends consumed by wedding details are over. But another part of me is saying, "I want to do it again!!" Planning could be stressful at times and time consuming but the whole experience from the day of setting up blur, walking down the aisle, and our first dance was just that wonderful.  Just that amazing and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  Not even the cake mistake can spoil it for me and I am really proud of the end result.  It feels like a great accomplishment and the culmination of everything that we've been working towards for the last 7 months.

I am savoring my last moments as a princess.  Tired but wired all at the same time.  Oh what a long yet short, exhilarating yet exhausting day it's been.  I am drunk off of happiness, joy, and more then a little bit of wine.  

We were much too tired for champagne and strawberries that night.  We had other priorities.  Can you really say that you consummated your marriage when the consummating portion has already taken place....before the wedding?  Well, regardless of the technicalities as exhausted as we were there was consummating and we drifted off happily into a deep sleep with our arms wrapped tightly around each other. 

The perfect end to a perfect day.  I got my prince charming and a beautiful wedding to go along with him. 

Today was a fairy tale.

Pro Pic Recaps:  Bride Gets Ready

Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night [Part III]

PHOTO OPS
Taking pics is fun! Mj and I have become a walking, talking photo op.  We do all the traditional family and bridal party shots but we also try to have a little fun with it.

                                                                    

Me and my mum

After pics it takes an army of ladies to get me bustled up.  There are six bustles on my dress and of course I can't remember where any of them are so they played "find the bustle button" until I'm all pinned up.  Now I can stop kicking my dress around corners. 

GRAND ENTRANCE

Right on schedule the guests are ushered into the reception room from the cocktail hour and the bridal party waits just outside the room for our entrance. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this but at the last minute I decided we should. We are the stars of the party right? We might as well enjoy this and it also recognizes our bridal party. I envisioned feeling shy and on the spot as we entered the room but the reality was nothing like that. I am only happy and excited to get in there. This room is filled with good friends and family and love. They cheer and clap for us as "I Gotta Feeling" blasts through the room and Mj and I sort of walk/dance into the room and it's a wonderful feeling. Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night alright.

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR CAKE?
We head to our sweetheart table where our champagne bottle is waiting for us. We have a chance to look around the room and see how beautiful the whole set up is. I glance to my left and think really, really hope it is just poor lighting or my eyes playing tricks on me when I see our cake sitting there. I blink a few times and it doesn't change. It's the design we picked out but instead of a pink cake with black and pink stripes around each tier we got a pink cake with dark grey and black stripes sitting there trying to pass as our wedding cake. I come to the sad realization that our beautiful expensive wedding cake is the wrong color and I am just glad that I didn't find out before. This is our night and I am not letting that impostor of a cake get me down. We'll figure out what went wrong later.

LETS EAT

The staff starts bringing out dinner plates.  I have heard stories about crazy brides who didn't even eat their entree but not us!  We sat there and enjoyed our Tri Tip steak and chatted.  It was fun to look around the room and see all of our guests enjoying themselves.  Dinner hadn't even ended yet when there were a few folks already on the dance floor....including Blue Suit.  Yeah....at the last minute I told me dad he could stay but that he had to wait until everyone else was seated to find a spot.  I had to make dad sweat a little but I am not a total and complete bridezilla.  He gifted us with a bottle of Dom Perignon for goodness sake and I don't want to punish him!  My anger was directed at my dad for totally disregarding my wishes.  Incidentally, he wasn't the only "party crasher."  One of my friends brought someone who wasn't technically invited nor did she RSVP'd for.  Nothing against this person.  I like her, but it still puzzles me how some folks just don't get it about how weddings operate.  She could have told me asked.  Moving on.

Having a smallish wedding Mj and I were able to go around the entire room and greet all of our guests at each table which was really nice.  We worked the room and then met outside for a bathroom run.  I hadn't used the restroom since I put the dress on and was happy to find I was able to do it without dunking my dress in the toilet.  Mj was in total disbelief about how the men's bathroom looked like a truck stop bathroom compared to the ladies spa like retreat.  Yep.  I had him come inside just in case I needed help with the dress.

TOASTS & TEARS

We decided to have the DJ open up the floor for toasts.  Just when I thought I was all cried out for the night I quickly find out that I am not.  One of my dear friends and co workers S stands up to speak and I am so touched by her words that the tears start flowing again.  We were in the claims trenches together having been co workers for 8 years.  I vented to her endlessly on bad days at work.  We confided in each other and shared our hopes and disappointments over countless lunch breaks.  I was at her wedding.  My goodness....sometimes you just don't realize what you mean to others and vice versa until moments like this and that is what is so wonderful this.  The room is full of love and everyone is just so happy for you.  It can be emotional.  My little sis is so shy and quiet but she wanted so much much to get up there and express her happiness for us in front of everyone.  I know how hard that must've been for her.  She says "I have always looked up to you. And I'm so happy for you" and the tears start rolling again.  I begin to wonder if I will cry through my entire wedding.  These are tears of joy though not sadness and there is nothing too bad about that.  Some toasts are funny and others make me cry.  We even had an impromptu and unexpected burst of song from my cousin-random but sweet.  We went a bit over schedule but I really think it was wonderful to give anyone the opportunity to speak.

CAKE CUTTING & FIRST DANCES
The DJ tells us we are behind schedule because we had so many takers on our toast so we move right into the cake cutting. For an impostor cake it sure did taste good. Mj and I cut the cake and I reached for a fork but he wanted us to feed it to each other with our fingers which was cute and fun. No cake in face shoving as discussed! Then it was time for the Bride & Groom first dance. Even though everyone was watching us I felt like we were in our own little world.  We move into the Father/Daughter dance to "Can You Feel The Love Tonight." Then about 40 seconds in Mj and his mom joined in. This is another tradition that we almost didn't do but I am so glad we did.

PARTY TIME
After that it really was party time.  I was just the perfect amount of tipsy and I had a blast for the remainder of the night.  We stepped out to do a few night time pics with our photographer and we chatted here and there guests and did a lot of dancing.  Weddings are a whirlwind.  You hope that everyone had a great time but almost feel badly that it goes by so fast and you don't really get to spend that much time together.  They sweep in and share a special moment with you and just as quickly they are gone.  It's just the way it goes.  Guests started coming up to say good bye as the night went on.  I still don't know exactly what time our wedding ended but as guests dwindled and we were down to just a small group of dancers I told the DJ we were ready for our last song and got down on the dance floor until the very end.  I'm so glad that people had a good time.

Even four days later I am still re living my favorite moments and am filled with so much joy over how well everything turned out.  The sights, the feelings, the emotions, the fun.  Sure, I planned to have fun at my wedding but this  night far exceeded any expectations I had.  It was just that much of an amazing night.

Part IV:  Our Wedding Rocked!

Here Come's The Bride [Part II]

The wedding coordinator takes me to my starting place.  The rest of the party enters from a different area and I have this perfect moment where I am alone with my thoughts.  I peak out the door and see everyone sitting ahead of me and to the right waiting for the ceremony to begin.  I hear the beautiful music we painstakingly selected and I can't help but cry.  It is such a beautiful vision.  This is my wedding.  We did this.  We planned this beautiful event and we brought all of these people together to celebrate.  I can see the reception room through the floor to ceiling window to my left.  It's all set up.  My cake has been delivered and the chair covers look so pretty.  I can't believe that I am standing here in this beautiful billowing white princess dress at my very own wedding about to walk down the aisle.  This is a dream come true and I am so happy and excited that I get to do this.  As my dad walks up I ask him to get me at tissue so I don't ruin my make up.

The processional music starts and without anyone seeing me I get to watch  from the rear as my wedding unfolds right before my eyes.  The grass is a beautiful bright green and the white arch stands out brighter then ever against the greenery.  I look up and see that the gloomy skies have finally disappeared and been replaced by a beautiful yellow glow from the sun and a blue sky.  Mj escorts his grandma down the aisle to her seat then goes back to get the mom's and escort them one on each arm.  The bridal party walks down the aisle next two by two.  Everyone has taken their place up front but the first song has not ended.  Should we start?  Not yet, it's almost over.  There is a pause in the processional as we wait for song #2.  Once it starts my dad and I take the longer walk coming from the rear left of the grassy area.  We reach the straight away where the guests are standing and I smile at everyone and take my time as we move closer to the arch.  I've been running around at a frantic pace all day long.  I feel like I am on top of the world right now and I am enjoying every minute.  I don't want to rush this part.  As I get closer to Mj I focus on him.  We smile at each other and make eye contact.

  

The musics stops and K begins to speak.  He looks and sounds like a pro.  I just know this is going to go well.  We get to the part where each of us says our own vows to each other and the moment I turn to Mj and start speaking I begin to cry.  My voice is wobbly.  I have to pause and take a breath because I can no longer speak.  I look up and see Mj tearing up.  It's the first time I've ever seen him cry.  I didn't think I ever would.  He wipes his eyes and my voice is still wavering as I continue to speak.  There is so much focus on the reception but the moment you stand in front of friends and family and speak your vows to each other is what the whole day is really all about.  I am not really even aware that all eyes are on me and I don't care that my voice is wobbling and there are tears coming down my face.  The nervousness about having everyone staring at me is gone.  I didn't find these words on the internet-I found them in my heart.  I thought about what Mj means to me and this is what came out.  The words I speak are personal but I am not embarrassed to share them or the emotion that goes along with them in front of everyone.  If you are in love you want to shout it from the rooftops-this is finally my chance.

Mj goes next and I look into his eyes while he speaks to me.  You would never know he was up past midnight trying to figure out what to write.  For a first timer K has done a wonderful job officiating and it goes without a hitch.  He has to give us a little hint about what comes next at one point and I try to push the ring onto Mj's finger a bit sooner then I was supposed to at another but I doubt anyone but us noticed.  He pronounces us man and wife and when we kiss I am so in the moment that there is nothing awkward or self conscious about it. 

I almost walk away without grabbing my bouquet back from lil sis.  On cue I hear the opening strains of our recessional song and we walk down the aisle arm and arm and into the special room reserved for us to have a private moment.

There is a bottle of champagne and some cheese and crackers waiting for us.  I don't have to miss my cocktail hour goodies after all.  Mj and I look at each other and I yell out "We did it!  We pulled it off."  We are giddy with excitement and relief.   Now the pressure is totally off.  Any stress I had earlier is gone and I am looking forward to having a great time at our reception.  We drink champagne and revel in this moment.  When Mj says he can't drink anymore champagne after only one glass I am confused.  That is until I find out that his boys have been liquoring him up all along.  He is already going on some beers, a couple shots and who knows what else while I barely had time to suck down 1 1/2 glasses of wine before pictures and the one glass of wine I guzzled down in the limo.

Our photographer has sent Jen to get us for pictures.  It must be about 5 pm or very close to it.  We are on schedule after a rush rush morning and we still have the rest of a very fun night ahead of us.

Part III:  Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night

A Bride's Work Is Never Done [Part I]

Of course I can't wait until my pro pics are here to post re caps so I'm starting out with candids that I snatched from Facebook and the professional pics will follow just as soon as I get my hot little hands on 'em....
 
[July 10, 2010] I was specifically told by our hotel wedding coordinator [and a few others] that the bride isn't supposed to work on her wedding day and that I must eat because she does not want any wilting brides.  I flat out told her that if I didn't work this wedding was not going to happen but I did tell her I would try to eat.  From the moment I woke up and headed off to my hair appointment until just before I walked down the aisle I was on the go.  I planned to eat except I couldn't exactly figure out when that was supposed to happen.  It wasn't written on my timeline so.....

BRIDE ON THE GO, GO

From the moment I woke up, loaded up my car and headed of to my 8:15 am hair appointment it was go, go, go.  I finished hair at around 11:00 am and encountered my first snaffu on the drive to the hotel when I called the Chair Cover company and told them I was on my way.  "Uh, when we showed up to the Garden Ballroom the door was locked so we left.  We re adjusted our route and will be there at 1pm or 2pm."  OK.  When were they going to tell me this?  I was going to be off taking pics by then and wanted that done before I left so I could pay them and see it before the reception started.

I am the first person to arrive at the hotel.  Thank goodness little sis was staying there so I was able to call her and have her come down and help me start putting out the centerpieces.  I have to ask the staff to put out the round mirrors so we could get going with that and explain to little sis how to turn the LED lights on and how I wanted them situated.  Fe showed up with her dress and I got all excited because I forgot just how pretty the bridesmaids dresses were.

It's getting to about 12 pm and I STILL do not know what table is what freakin' number and STILL can't put numbers on my place cards.  I ask the staff to get me a diagram so I can number the tables and decide which group is gonna go where.  I put the mom's to work numbering according to my chart and alphabetizing the cards and placing them on the table.  I've got about two hours to be in make up and dressed.  Nope-still haven't found time to eat.  The place settings are not out yet so it's hard to tell where the favor boxes should be placed but I'll just have to leave it to sis and mom to make sure everything looks pretty.

THE GROOM FORGETS HIS TUX

Then I get the dreaded call from Mj that he forgot his tux!  Umm.  Are you kidding me?  Unfortunately not.  After going to the wrong flower shop first he's on his way to the hotel with the flowers and to drop his aunts off.  He is on his way to his 12:30 pm hair cut appointment and can't go back home to get it.  He needs my dad to do it but dad is out right now getting food.  Mom finally tracks dad down and he comes back to the hotel.  Big sis is hopping in the car to go with him to make sure this very important mission is carried out.  They have a little less then an hour to get the tux and come back.

BRIDEZILLA MOMENT

Then, I see my dad's friend walking to the car in his bright blue suit.  I had a specific conversation with dad that he was not to be inviting all of his friends after one of them said he'd see me at the wedding and not really knowing what to say I just smiled and nodded.  I had my very first bridezilla moment when I yelled at my dad that I TOLD HIM NOT TO INVITE ANYONE and screamed and stormed off stomping my feet the whole way.  I called my mom immediately and told her that "He could not stay.  I don't care who has to tell him but he was not invited to the wedding and he would have to leave."  At 1:24 pm with just over a half hour to be dressed and ready to go I sat down to get my make up done.  When my dad calls me I just hand the phone to my mom because I am so mad I can't even speak to him. Up until the wedding started blue suit thought he was coming and no one wanted to tell him.  It was almost comical!  I couldn't concern myself with it anymore.  I had a wedding to get ready for.

TIME IS NOT MY FRIEND

When the wedding coordinator finds out I still have not eaten she brings me a restaurant menu and I scarf down some chicken street tacos while my make up is being done after I accidentally knock over my glass of wine all over the table.  I am steady on the phone while the make up artist is trying to finish my face but I can't help that.  Mom calls to say some of the centerpiece LED lights aren't working so I tell her I will put some extras in her gold bag and no I don't want her to turn them on just yet.  Wait until closer to 4pm.  We are late.  Everything from here on out is a total blur.  In fact the whole day is a blur.  I can hardly remember who I was talking to and not talking to.  I am so focused that I am oblivious to much of who and what is around me.  I am in a race against time all day.  By the time she finishes my make up and K starts unpinning and combing out my hair I am afraid to know what time it is.  I grab my jewelry and everyone just starts pitching in getting me dressed. I am acutely aware that I am the center of attention and all eyes are on me as I strip down to my bra and undies so I can put on my dress.  As I finally step into my dress I get the good news that Mj has his tux and will be ready in five minutes.  Too bad I won't be.  I never actually tried on my dress with my shoes and jewelry-I just assumed it would look good-and it does.  The make up artist finishes up my lips, there is a few last minute touches.  Jenn tries to take my cell phone away from me but I refuse.  It is welded to my hand and I'm not giving it up.  I put my vendor checks, extra LED lights, CD's and parking ticket in my mom's bag.  I hand off the vow cards and rings to lil' sis, rattle off some last minute instructions and then it's time to go.

I head downstairs to wait for MJ.  The moment I lay eyes on him I start tearing up.  He looks so handsome and I am so excited that our moment is almost here.  We step into the black limo he hired for us and head over to the park for our pictures.  It is 2:30 when I finally get a call from the photographer and I tell him that we are on the way.  We call one of the groomsmen to explain the CD procedure since his wife has volunteered to play them for us.  They are all labeled.  She just needs to press play.  We are 30 minutes late and although feeling very frantic I also feel beautiful and happy as we get in as many shots as we can before we head back to make our 4:30 ceremony time.  By the time the photo shoot is over we are both experts at kissing on cue in public.

It's about 3:50 pm and we are on our way back to the hotel when I get on my cell phone and start calling whoever I can to see that everything is being taken care of.  The CD's are supposed to start playing at 4 pm and I call only to find out that they are still sitting in my mom's bag somewhere so I tell Eb, "Find them and get them over to the CD player.  SOMEONE needs to press play at 4 pm sharp.  And please make sure the favor boxes are lined up nicely in front of the place settings."

Jan, Fe, Me, Lil' Sis, Eb

TAKE A DEEP BREATH

It isn't until we get back around 4:10 pm and are waiting until 4:30 pm that I finally get a moment to take a deep breath.  I am very glad that I put 4:00pm on the invite and had 4:00pm in the back of my mind even though we didn't plan for the ceremony to start until 4:30pm because it gave us all some breathing room.  I finally see all of my bridesmaids looking absolutely beautiful and the wedding coordinator comes up to get the flowers for everyone.  I tell the bridal party what table they will be at and I finally give up my cell phone.  The show is about to start and we all head down to line up.

Part II: Here Comes The Bride 

The Rehearsal Jitters

I got dressed and rushed out of the house to get to my rehearsal on Friday only to have to turn around when I had this feeling I didn't shut the garage door.  Well, I hadn't forgotten but I'm glad I went back because Mj and his aunts were getting back from Old Town and rushing into the house to change.  We were all able to go in one car and made it on time despite the crazy traffic that was all around us like something out of the twilight zone.

I decided to switch to a bigger room so we would have more space and slightly higher ceilings-it wasn't booked so we were able to do it.  I got a chance to chat with Jenn our coordinator to make sure that there would be enough tables in the room to seat all of our guests unlike what it appeared to be on the room diagram.  I still couldn't get the tables numbered so I could write them down on my place cards which annoyed me but I guess it would just have to wait.

As each new arrival showed up it was so exciting.  My little sis who I haven't seen since Christmas.  My good friend from Atlanta Fe-who I haven't seen since 2007.  I met Mj's grandma for the first time.  Friends and family.  It was wonderful to see their beautiful smiling faces.  These people who traveled all of this way and were there at the rehearsal just for us.

The rehearsal itself went OK.  I say just OK because we didn't have time to actually go through the words like I'd hoped.  It was more for placement.  Our officiant is my friend Eb's husband and this is his first wedding.   I felt confused and I think he was feeling the same.  I'd planned on having us get together for a run through but like many other things it never happened.  Luckily, I had the music there because after changing up the format a little we discover that we actually will run out of time and need to come up with a second song for me and my dad to walk to.  Our coordinator made us kiss multiple times which was quite stiff and awkward.  Not that we've never done it before but we were on the spot and I think it made us both self conscious.  It suddenly dawned on me that everyone is going to be staring at us all night and I started to feel a little freaked out by that.  I guess I should have thought of that before I decided I wanted a wedding huh?

THE DINNER

US

We had a great time at our rehearsal dinner.  It was a casual affair at a little Italian restaurant.  Our party fit on one long table at the patio.  It was nice for everyone to hang out and get to know each other.  I was so worried about the cost but my parents gave us money to cover it and a few people couldn't make it.  We got the bill and it was just a little over budget-even with alcohol included.  They were supposed to only do sodas but whatever-I was glad to see people enjoying themselves so it was all good.

Bridesmaid Eb & Big Sis

Me & Bridesmaid Fe

Little Sis & Boyfriend T

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

I made a game time decision to have a late night impromptu ceremony rehearsal.  By the time we left our dinner it was pretty late.  I was tired and still had things to do but I knew that it would make all three of us feel better to do a run through from start to finish.  We dropped off his aunts at our house, changed and didn't get to their house until 11:30 pm.  Eb told me K was getting a bit nervous and frankly so was I. Thank goodness we practiced because our first run through was a mess and what a disaster it would have been if we had done it that way when it counted.  I didn't know what to say when.  K would tell me to repeat after him and I would forget what he just said by the time it was time for me to speak.  I couldn't even remember what finger to put Mj's ring on.  We got the jitters out and worked out the bugs.  We did it exactly twice and that was all it took for us to all feel more confident and ready for the next day.

I went to bed with my mind racing with coulda, shoulda, woulda, what if's but at 1:30 am-technically the day of my wedding there was nothing more that I or anyone else could do about anything.  The planning was over and it was about time to execute.