We Didn't Get the Memo About Fall

Seriously.  I can't even put it into words how perfect Saturday was.  It was like a gift from mother nature.  The high was 91 degrees and it was magnificent.  I sat by the bay and switched between reading magazines and gazing out at the beautiful water.

We were there for the 4th annual Dragon Boat Festival at Mission Bay Bay Park.  They have the professional category made up of people who actually train for it and know what they are doing and then they have a corporate category open to the community for amateurs who just want to get out there and have fun.  I have never even heard of Dragon Boat Racing.  Mj had never done it before but if it's athletic and even slightly competitive he's willing to give it a try.  He works for a huge company but it's always the same people that sign up for these things.  It's a really cool group of people that I see over and over at Flag Football or Kick ball or whatever else Mj's signed up for.  I think of them as the unofficial BAH athletic team representatives.

They got to do three races.  Each race had 3 teams, except the last one had 4.  There are 16 people packed into each boat.  Each boat has a drummer who sits in the front and there is a Dragon Head at each end.  Hamburgers and Hotdogs were provided by the company and we brought some snacks of our own.  We were there hanging out in between races from about 9:30am to 3:30pm.  I don't even know what place they got.  If they had won, I'd know so I know they didn't win but I don't know where they placed.  At the end of the day winning is awesome but no one seemed too upset that they didn't.

I love that sun drenched and exhausted feeling that I get after a fun day outside.  I feel all hot and gross and worn out but in a good way and I can't wait to get home and take a shower.  On the way home I said to Mj.  This is why we can never move.  This is why we live here.  This beautiful place is our backyard and I love pretending that it's still Summer in October.

We didn't get the memo about Fall.  The one we got had flip flops and shorts written in all caps and I didn't mind it one bit.

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Breaking Bad and Thongs

A little bit of random...

It really sucks waking up for work on Friday morning when your husband has the day off and is slumbering away in bed.  But such is life.

I'm really proud of myself for breaking the shopping habit.  I was clean and shopping sober all last month and I plan to do it again this month.  Okay, so I did purchase some exercise DVD's but that's essential to my health and well being so it doesn't count.  Save, save save is my mantra until Vacations and The Holiday's show up to kick my financial butt.

Like everyone else I love, love loved the Breaking Bad finale.  I love it how everything was wrapped up and seems to have happened exactly as it should.  On the surface the show was about a Biology teacher with cancer turned big time meth dealer and the twists and turns his life takes as he switches careers.  The take away message was so much more then that and in the end I was able to identify with Walter White the way I had in the beginning before he got all evil and I started hating his guts.  We all want to be successful and good at something.  We want to provide for ourselves and our families, but if you let your desire for money, power and success overcome your morality it will destroy you in the end. It might take a while but evenutually it will.  Not a bad message for a show where eleventy million people were murdered over meth.

Confession Time!!!

I confess that I've never tried a Pumpkin Spice or Pumpkin anything and thanks to blog land it truly feels like a deep dark shameful secret.

I confess that it was 65 degrees on the way to work and expected to get to 81 ish by afternoon and I'm still loving it even though everyone has gone all goo goo ga ga over Fall.  The boots and sweaters are still off duty and I'm totally thrilled.  Thanks to blogland this also feels like a really deep dark shameful secret.

Linking up with Leslie @ A Blonde Ambition

I confess that I can't swim.  I never learned as an itty bitty child and then when I was around middle school age there were a few rounds of swimming lessons but by then I think it was too late.  I can doggy paddle but if I were tossed into the middle of a body of water I would definitely drown.  My dad is the only one in my family who can swim.  I think my bones are too heavy.  We were watching Iron Man 3 and there was this awesome scene where he gets everyone to hook together when they fall out of the plane.  He saved them by dropping them into the ocean when they got close enough.  I was thinking, how cool that he saved all those people-except if I were one of them I'd still die.

I confess that I get really excited when my underwear matches my outfits.  I'm not sure why since no one else can see that I am perfectly coordinated but somehow I feel just that much more "finished" and put together.  While I'm on the topic of underpants are people still wearing thongs?  I just can't.  I never found a thong that didn't feel like something uncomfortably lodged in my butt.  I wore one a few weeks ago for a few hours and it was awful.  Oh the things we do for our husbands!

I confess that my posture is terrible.  I feel like I'm sticking my boobs out if my back is too straight but I think that's just because I'm not as used to sitting up straight as I should be.  Actually, it's gotten a little better as I've tried to be more aware of it.  Having a husband who yells out "posture" like some kind of personal image coach drill sergeant has definitely helped.  If I don't want to hear his mouth I better pull my shoulders back.

I confess that I will be out enjoying our Non Fall weather at Mission Beach on Saturday and chilling at home on the couch on Sunday. 

Happy Friday!!

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Why I Like Being a Small Blog

I haven't been posting a whole lot.  But that's okay.  I can do that.  We don't like to but sometimes we just can't help comparing ourselves to those blogs that earn money, have thousands of page views per day, get a ga-zillion comments or boatloads of free stuff.  That is all well and good but it comes at a price that some of us little blogs don't have to pay.  I realize that "small" or "large" when referring to blogs is subjective but I think we have a general idea of what category our own blog fits into.  Here are some reasons that I really like being a little blog.

1)  Pressure.  In order to keep those page views up and keep the money coming in from advertisers or sponsors or whatever else you have to generate a lot of content and buzz about your blog.  As a smaller blog I simply don't have that pressure.  I don't have sponsor posts, product reviews, link ups or giveaways that have to go up.  I didn't even realize that posting every day was a "thing" until I kept reading posts apologizing for not being able to post everyday.  What? I'm just not that creative and I don't want to post something just to call it a post.  I've never been a daily poster.  Well, except that one time I posted for days on end about my European Vacation which ironically enough is the kind of post that a lot of readers hate.  I don't feel that pressure to come up with the next greatest blog post to keep readers entertained every day.  I don't feel any pressure to compete for top blogger.  When I finally get around to turning that blog draft into a post I do and if there is nothing I feel like blogging about I don't.  I may or may not plan guest posts when I go on vacation.  Don't get me wrong.  I love writing and coming up with great content that people enjoy.  It's such a rush!  But I like not feeling pressured.  My goal is to show proof of life for myself and Blogher with at least one post a week.  I usually do more then that but I like it that I don't feel like I have to. 

2)  Scrutiny.  They say that you know you've really made it when people start talking about you.  And not always in a good way.  Chances are I'm not going to be a GOMI victim or find myself the center of some big controversy because of a blog post that I wrote.  I simply don't have enough page views to attract enough of a buzz for anything I write to go viral.  Not that it's impossible.  Just a whole lot less likely.  All bloggers really put themselves out there and it can be a really scary thing.  As a smaller blog I don't worry as much that everything single thing I write is potential material for trashing.  It's the internet so really it is, but I don't feel it so much.

3)  Hate mail.  Big bloggers are targets for those who are green with blogger envy.  Success breeds jealousy and jealousy very often leads to evil comments, finding yourself caught up in blogger drama or as the target of a website dedicated to bashing you.  People can be so so nasty.  It's really sad to see some of the negativity that has swirled around blogland.  I was so shocked at first because I've always seen it as a supportive and happy place.  Well, nobody is hating on me.  Nobody is jealous of my blog and all of my followers.  I've seen smaller blogs get attacked too but in all my years of blogging I've never gotten a nasty comment.  This could mean I'm really boring or that my life doesn't appear perfect enough or more then likely just that I don't have the visibility to make anybody jealous enough to hate me.  I don't have a thick skin.  I'm not sure how I'd handle it and I'd hate to have to deal with that.

4)  Reader interaction.  I don't know how some of those big bloggers deal with the sheer volume of comments they get.  Unless you have an assistant it's obviously not possible to reply to every single one and still have a life so you don't.  Then you might worry that your readers feel ignored and the truth is they probably do, but there simply isn't anything that you can really do about it.  I got an auto generated reply e mail the other day.  It said thank you for commenting.  I can appreciate the thought but I'm still not sure what's worse.  The generic auto reply or nothing at all.  I don't have to reply to or feel badly about NOT replying to 50 million comments on every blog post.  Life gets busy.  I don't reply to every single one but I would say I get to reply to almost all of them.  If I get a new commenter I'll often pop over to comment on their blog.  If I were getting 50 comments on daily posts there is no way that would be possible.  I'd probably try, not be able to keep up and end up feeling really bad about it. 

5) Blog Reading.  If I was spending every day trying to generate a new blog posts, reply to comments, organize link ups and giveaways, set up sponsored posts, do product reviews, analyze traffic stats and whatever else it is that big bloggers do I wouldn't have half the time I do to actually read and comment on other blogs.  I am addicted to reading blogs.  I read way too many and as it is sometimes I have to hit "mark all as read" because I simply can't keep up.  I can't imagine how little time I'd have for it if a lot more of my blogging time had to be dedicated to blog business.  

6) Social Media and Marketing.  I want people to read my blog but I don't want to spend a lot of money on giveaways or multiple sponsorships every month to try to get my blog noticed.  It has become routine for me to tweet my posts once or twice in a day and post it on my Facebook page.  I've always had a personal Facebook but I started a Facebook Page, Twitter and Instagram just for blogging.  I don't schedule tweets.  I don't have sponsors to shout out.  I'm not concerned about my lack of presence.  If I drop off the face of the social media planet it's fine.  Except for the most part I haven't because I started to enjoy twitter and Instagram.  It's such a ridiculous time suck but I like it so I try to limit how much time I spend on it. 

7) Blogger burn out.  I can't tell you how many posts I see apologizing because their heart isn't in it anymore.  It's time to scale back sponsorships and no longer will daily posts be possible.  Many take an extended break because blogging has turned into a dreaded obligation that they no longer have time or desire for.  A very popular blogger totally quit last week-indefinitely.  Bloggers are running themselves into the ground obsessing over numbers and trying to be that awesome gung ho blogger.  I see it over and over again.  There are times that I'm not as motivated to post as others.  Sometimes I just don't feel inspired or I'm too busy but I've never felt burnt out or that blogging was something I "have" to do.   I don't do a lot of things the big bloggers do.  To me a lot of it feels to "businessy" and there are too many strings attached so it becomes work.  I do some of the things that the big blogs do but on a smaller scale.  I  have the freedom to blog or not to blog and I like that.  It keeps me coming back for more because it's on my terms.  I came to a realization that the times I have become most disenchanted with blogging had less to do with actual blogging and more to do with all of the external blogging stuff.  Thinking too much about numbers and comparing myself to other bloggers kills my confidence and overall satisfaction with blogging; but only if I let it.  Once I block out all that noise I'm fine.

If blogging was my full time job that paid me full time job kind of money I'll gladly treat it like work.  I wonder how much of the joy of blogging would be stolen if it was my job but I'd suck it up and consider myself lucky.  For some it falls into their lap and they don't have to try very hard.  Those are the ones you really love to hate, but I think the majority work their butts off for it and I can't help but think about the sacrifices that all of them make.  I think about how it might start to feel like work and how much pressure they might be feeling to keep it all going.  I don't want to HAVE to post 5 times a week and spend 25 hours a week on my blog.  I already have one job that doesn't pay me enough.  I don't need two.  For every blogger that is earning a solid income or a decent chunk of change there are thousands upon thousands who work just as hard doing everything they are told they are supposed to and still make little to no money.  That's the kicker; and I just don't know if it's worth it.  And maybe I'm only saying that because my blog hasn't become "successful" by definition of numbers and promotional opportunities.  I've never tried NOT to be a big blogger but I also don't think I've done everything I could to try to be one either.  If blogging on my terms at my pace doesn't translate into a large following that's okay.  Not every small blog is a big blog failure.  That's not necessarily the goal for everyone. 

I started this blog because I love to write.  It works for me. I don't get to quit my "day" job, but then again most don't.  I don't get to be "best" blogger or get a lot of free stuff but I get to spend less time on the business of blogging so I have more time to dedicate to the joy of blogging.  For me that's reading, commenting, engaging with other bloggers and posting about whatever inspires me whenever I feel like it.  I love sharing my writing and I want people to read it.  I get excited when I see page views go up or I get another follower.  I love this community and I love my blog.  I still pour a lot of time, energy and care into blogging but on my terms without a whole lot of strings attached.  And I kinda like it that way. 

My Boyfriend's Back

My husband is back! I confess that I may or may not have picked him up from the airport wearing a sheer nighty and a thong.  You know.  Just to spice things up a little.  Just kidding.  Not really.  I'll let you decide.  

There is gonna be a whole lot of shit everywhere now. His words not mine and he has certainly delivered on that.  He has also delivered on being the cutest man ever and even though my undiagnosed OCD is kicking in big time I'm glad to have him home. I kind of feel like my space is being invaded which is totally not true considering we bought this house together and have been living in it together for 3 years.  There is always this weird transition period that occurs whenever he comes home from an extended absence. I'm almost surprised to see him in the house when I walk in the door after work.  His presence has busted me out of my quiet little self contained bubble.  Like, what?  There is someone else in the house?  I have somebody to talk to and cuddle with?  When you are alone you just kind of float about the house without regard to anyone or anything but when you are in a couple there is someone to consider.  There is someone who wants to watch the football game on the big TV downstairs at 5:30pm.  Someone that might wonder where you are if you've gone and disappeared upstairs for a few hours.  There is an adjustment period when he leaves as I get thrown into the solo life AND when he comes back as I get adjusted to WE instead of just ME, ME, ME.  And it's a good adjustment to make.

Amazingly enough, I actually kept him fed for two dinners on the chicken breasts I made the day before he came home.  He took Monday off to recover from his travels and of top priority that day was grocery shopping.  He had the nerve to assume there wasn't much food in the house and well....he was right.  You know how I do.  Then he turned around and made this delicious healthy version of a Philly cheese steak sandwich for dinner on Wednesday.  So good.  He's baaaack!!!  Good lovin', good cooking, and a good man.  What more can I ask for?  Okay, so maybe it would be pretty cool if he could pick some of his clothes off the floor but you know what they say?  Marriage is about compromise.  I'm no walk in the park myself.  We will be having Subway for dinner tonight.  My pick. 

Now that he's back I finally got to watch Breaking Bad.  Now I know what my co workers have been whispering about and if you aren't already watching you should be.  It is CRAY!!!  I pretty much HATE Walter White.  He is cold, evil and power hungry.  The best thing about hating Walter is that I'm not freaking out about whether or not he dies, gets away with it or gets locked up.  I don't care one way or another and it has eased the anxiety that I would have if I actually cared.  The latest episodes have been so dark.  I always feel a little stunned after watching.  We are all caught up and will be able to watch the season finale with everyone else.  I cannot wait. 

Oh California how I love you.  Good old San Diego is hanging onto Summer by it's fingertips and that is just fine by me.  It's still a little chilly in the morning but by the afternoon it's been anywhere between 77-79 which is pretty darn perfect if you asked me.  Fall can take as long as it wants to show up.  There is plenty of time for boots and leggings.

We are already booked for Saturday.  He could not wait.  He literally made these plans while he was still out of the country.  We will be having dinner and maybe a movie at Cinepolis with friends.  I'm happy to be dating my husband again and I anticipate some movie watching and cuddle time on the couch too.

Now I just need this darn work day to be over so I can get on with it.

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About all those Giveaways

BACK IN THE DAY
When I first started blogging in 2009 there weren't a lot of giveaways at all.  Well maybe there were but I didn't realize it.  It wasn't until 2011 that I started seeing them pop up more and more and then last year giveaways really exploded across blogland.   They were every day every where.  I thought it was a phase and just the "in" thing to do at the moment and that it would go away.  Surely these people will run out of money.  Then the group giveaways started.  The prizes got bigger and the ways to enter multiplied.  What started out as giving away a scarf or a $20 gift card here and there turned into iPads, cell phones and $1,000 Visa Gift Cards.  There are entire blogs, twitter accounts and Facebook pages dedicated to promoting and entering giveaways.

The GFC count on a lot of blogs really began to skyrocket and it was clear that giveaways were not going to stop any time soon.  I was really annoyed at first.  As a Giveaway entrant:  You mean to tell me that I have to follow 20 blogs to enter this giveaway?  I wasn't willing to follow twenty million blogs so I knew I hadn't a chance in winning.  I knew that people were probably just following the blog to enter the giveaway with no intention of ever reading and I didn't want to do that.  Didn't these bloggers realize that they were only getting "fake" followers and being taken advantage of?   As a Blogger:  It didn't feel "fair" that their number count was going to double over night while I've been tapping away at my keyboard for years and gotten nowhere near that many followers.  It's not the only way to attract followers but we all know it's one of the fastest ways to accelerate the pace.

TAKING THE GIVEAWAY PLUNGE
I started out with just entering them.  I'm a natural sweepstakes enterer by nature.  I enter tons of worldwide sweepstakes every day that I have no shot in hell of winning.  I know that I will probably never win the HGTV dream home but for some odd reason I'm compelled to enter.  I've always done this.  Even as a child I used to fill out the Publishers Sweepstakes entry form and stick on the little car stamp in the color of my choice on behalf of my parents.  Yes, I'm addicted to sweepstakes and yes, it's a problem.  Giveaways had become a part of blog land.  If bloggers wanted to give things away in exchange for fake followers then I would let them.  I started following tons of blogs and entering my little sweepstakes loving heart out but then I started to feel bad.  I still enter giveaways but now I only take entries I want and limit blog follow entries to ones I'm already following or blogs that I legitimately have an interest in even if it lessens my chance of winning.  I also try to comment beyond the giveaway post. 

Doing a giveaway on my own blog still didn't feel right.  I didn't want to be like everybody else and do a giveaway just to get my numbers up.  I utilize some blog promotional tools but giveaways or anything that involves the exchange of money or goods felt too much like selling out or buying readers. It was hard to take the slow organic approach and watch other blogger numbers go through the roof  while mine remained low.  I held out for while and then did a solo giveaway on my own blog around Christmas of last year for a gift card to one of my favorite stores.  It felt right because I really did see it as a way to thank my readers for reading.  The winner was already a reader and she was thrilled.  It felt really good to give something away and make someone happy so I was willing to do it again when asked to do one in a small group by one of my favorite bloggers.  I was getting used to the concept and I got to thinking.  How would I know that doing giveaways was not right for my blog if I didn't give it a chance and see what it was like?  Why not take advantage of the opportunity for other people to discover my blog?  I love writing and while I am not motivated by the follower count I do want people to read.  I started to wonder how people would ever find my blog if I wasn't willing to follow the current trends to promote it.   As I continued to enter giveaways I also started winning some cool stuff so I also felt it would be good for my giveaway karma to give something back.  I wasn't interested in signing up for a random group giveaway that someone tweeted about.  I took the approach that if I was asked by a blogger that I have a connection with I would say yes and only with what little money that I'd generated out of blogging.  It still felt kind of organic.  Sort of.  

I have won giveaways.  I have done 3 solo and participated in 4 group giveaways hosted by others.  These are my observations.

1// You actually can discover a lot of new favorites through giveaways.  No, I cannot follow and read fifty million blogs but yes, I might discover just one more that I really really like.  Most of us follow a ton already but with incentive we might decide to add yet another and it could turn out to be one of your favorite blogs.  Every new follower is also a potential reader.

2// I never really got sponsorship until I won add space through a giveaway and had a chance to experience it first hand. It was then that I realized how much bloggers put into the whole sponsorship thing and how kind they are in promoting other bloggers.  Yes.  Often in exchange for money.  But kind nonetheless.  I've found blogs through a sidebar button or sponsor spotlight.  It's possible.  Cassie @ Live, Laugh Love and Sarah @ A Girl Smitten were awesome.  They checked in with me and delivered everything they said they would.  I don't accept sponsors or buy add space on others; but I get it. 

3// Winning free stuff is really fun.  When you win a group giveaway it's like winning everyday because you keep getting e mails from people wanting to send you free stuff.   

4// There are a lot of professional giveaway enterers that have profiles specifically set up for entering giveaways.  They will follow you but will probably never read your blog.

5// A lot of my regular readers don't enter at all.  I think a lot of people don't enter because they figure they will never win, entering can be a pain in the butt or they simply don't like them.  I understand the point is often to gain new followers but on the other hand my ideal giveaway is where a lot of my current readers enter and a long time reader wins.  Rafflecopter gets to pick not me.  

6// They are actually a lot of fun.  I'm always honored when a blogger asks me to join in and it's fun working with other bloggers. People get really excited about getting free stuff 'cause who doesn't love free stuff and it's fun being a part of making that happen.

7// Instead of looking at it as just a greed thing and just wanting to get more followers I started to see the kindness and generosity behind bloggers who spend their own money to give things to people that they don't even know.  Yes, they want people to follow their blogs but they are still giving something back.

8// I can understand why a lot of new bloggers jump right into giveaways so they can get their blog out there and establish a base.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to be a new blogger right now with 2 followers when a lot of blogs are 3k+ and a lot of bloggers already have formed connections. It's got to be so intimidating in a way that it wasn't when I started out. 

9// You can fast track your numbers with all the promoting tools available and get all of the followers in the world but you have to produce content that people want to read in order to keep them and get them reading and commenting.  I see a lot of blogs with a whole lot of followers but nobody is commenting.

Bloggers give away things in exchange for a chance.  A chance for someone to possibly fall in love with their blog and become a new reader.  That's what most of us want.  Sponsorships, giveaways, link ups, guest posting, social media, SEO and google analytics (which I still don't understand) among many other things represents the evolution of blogging.  I hated a lot of it at first but I think it was mainly just because it was new and it represented a new direction for blogging that I wasn't sure that I wanted to go.

I won't try everything but I wanted to give giveaways a chance before I totally made up my mind about whether I hated them or not.  And you know what?  I don't hate it.  I don't feel like I missed out by waiting so long to do one or that I'm missing out by not doing more.  I am open to doing it again but I probably won't do it a whole lot.  It's fun to watch that number go up but the overall satisfaction of getting a new follower out of the blue just because is far greater then when they come from giveaways.  Not that I don't appreciate giveaway follows.  Believe me I do.  It just feels different then when people just made that decision to follow without any incentive.

People complain that there are too many giveaways and I once did too but I'm over it. Your blog content should never consist of giveaway after giveaway.  People get bored.  It's free stuff!  If you want free stuff enter.  If not then move on.  If you don't like giveaways don't enter them and don't host them but like it or not it looks like they are here to stay.

What do you think?  Love them, loathe them or indifferent?