Why I haven't Been Blogging

Do you ever feel like you've run out of things to say? Lately I've been feeling like either I've said it already or someone else is already saying it. Then I wonder, what's the point? There are 50 billion blogs on the internet. Nobody cares!!

I'm not kidding when I say that I've been documenting my life since I was 9 years old. I have an extremely heavy plastic bin of diaries and spiral bound college ruled notebooks to prove it. They are currently being stored in the overhead storage in our garage and the older I get the more I wonder about the fate of those journals after I'm gone. I should probably go ahead and burn them. So many secrets, so many emotions, so many words. Every heartbreak, internal struggle, and joy painstakingly handwritten not only to look back on and remember later, but also as a means of therapy. Writing has always been so therapeutic for me. A way to release the raw and often times jumbled thoughts in my brain and arrange them into organized rows of words that help me exercise the pain and make sense of my feelings. I always feel better after writing it out, and I've always taken such joy in writing down words I don't want to say or that don't need to be said at all.

Collector of Memories

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!  I got a new blog design and I think I like it.  I remember when blogs had multi colored unicorn dust popping off every page, but now the trend seems to be black and white minimalist.  There seems to be a pervasive fear of color now, but I like it.  All the better to showcase words and photos, because let's face it.  That's the main reason I'm still here. The bonus is the connections I've made with other bloggers over the years.

That Type of Person

I'm the type of person who kind of shuts down when insomnia takes over.  Combine that with being pushed to the limit at work and I'm done.  Motivation is down and inspiration is squashed.  I can't muster the energy for anything extra and that definitely includes all things blogging.  Stringing together coherent thoughts for a post is impossible, and then the longer I go the easier it is not to, and then I feel so bummed out that I'm not blogging that it makes me not even want to read blogs.  A few weeks ago a friend asked me on Friday around 7pm if I wanted to go to an art festival the next day.  I was already in pajamas trying to stay awake on a movie.  If she needed to know right then the answer was no because when I'm that nauseated from fatigue I can't imagine wanting to do anything.  I told her I'd text her the next morning because tomorrow is a new day, and sure enough the sun was shining and I was ready to run around like mad getting all the errands and Saturday stuff done before rushing off to Art Walk where we had a great time. 

What we had for lunch at Art Walk

I'm the type of person who doesn't think anyone cares about the type of person I am.  I think this also tends to contribute to my lack of blogging at times.  When you think about it blogging is kind of bold.  It's hey look at me, look at what I'm doing, and this is what I think! When you are a lifestyle blogger you might blog about things like travel, fashion, or cooking, but a lot of it is all about you.  When you get right down to it blogging requires some level of confidence to assume that people are interested in who you are and anything you have to say at all and the confidence to be okay with it if they aren't.  It's funny how I don't truly realize confidence is exactly what it takes until it's gone, but like those times when I feel too tired for life, that confidence comes and goes.

I'm the type of person who feels so deeply.  Sometimes I think I am too emotionally fragile for the world.  I cry on movies, commercials, and TV shows.  I watched a documentary on Netflix called Be Here Now, and I sat on my couch alone in the dark and sobbed for a good five minutes after it was over.  I was so saddened and moved that I thought about it for weeks.  I hate conflict too.  It is entirely too stressful.  If I have to deal with conflict or if people are mad at me I feel physically ill.  Appetite gone.  Stomach in knots.  I hate it that people have to die, that there are so many sick and suffering, and so many people who are just plain evil.  Feelings can be such a burden!  I feel good things very deeply too.  That part I like.

I'm the type of person who loves watching people's dreams comes true and I will use that as an excuse for watching another silly reality TV show.   The Pop Game, features five teenagers who are invited to live in an LA mansion and compete for a record deal while their parents/managers bicker and cause drama in the background.  MJ totally judged me for watching it, but what can you do?  Admitting that I watched it (and will watch it again if there is another season) is a little embarrassing, but it was so good.  I sat there and cried (of course) on the last episode because I saw so much growth in each contestant and wanted them all to win because they improved so much and did so good. Gosh, you'd think I know these kids or something.

So how's that for my first post back in a month?

I actually feel like a human being today instead of a zombie, and I really wanted to take advantage of that and write, even though I didn't have anything in particular to say.  I also might be the type of person who cares too much about what other people think.  I need not allow thoughts that nobody is interested or that I don't have anything important to say prevent me from blogging.  So What.  Right?  So here I am writing without apology, and without regard to how literary or "post worthy" this may be.  Just me, writing what I want (and hitting publish before I change my mind) because it's what I like to do.

 
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How to Kill a Blog

How to kill a blog.  Just in case you were wondering, since most blogging tip posts cover how to grow your blog.  I'm doing something a little different.

Well, one thing is for certain.  I really know how to kill a blog, besides all the other things I've already been doing for years.  I did one other thing that might not be the best idea.  When you have been blogging under the same url for seven years, changing it is most certainly the kiss of death.  Why would anyone switch from one blog spot to another blog spot anyway?  Switching from a blog spot to a dot com, well that totally makes sense in the blog world these days.  If you haven't already come out like gangbusters with your own domain to start at some point, once you get your blogging legs you switch to the dot com.  You hire someone to help you make the switch, and there is a re-direct and all of these things that are supposed to help minimize your drop in traffic.  Or so I've heard.

I went from blog spot to blog spot because having a blog name that didn't match my url has bugged me.  Always.  When I first started blogging, I picked becauseeverybodyhasastory because it was available, and it seemed to fit what I was doing at the time.  Just telling my story, which I still am.  Then I changed my blog name four times.  Ready for this?  Frugalista Getting Married, became Frugalista Married; so embarrassing!, became Pink Sunshine, became Mahogany Drive.  I actually thought Pink Sunshine was the one, but I hesitated to switch the url because well...what if it wasn't?  Also, I didn't want the hassle and I worried that I would lose any hard earned follower I ever had.  Well, Mahogany Drive is 100% most certainly the final final name forever and ever.  I know this for sure, and it was tolerable at first that the url didn't match until it wasn't.  Until I couldn't stop thinking about how it was way, way too long, and how if I ever decided to tell anyone I know what my blog name actually is I wanted it to be just one thing, so one day I changed it to Mahogany-Drive.blogspot.com.  Then I thought, oh maybe I should have let people know before the old url and every trace of my blog disappears.  Sometimes I forget that there are people out there who may actually like my blog and might wonder if it was gone or they never got any new updates after a while.  I was able to reclaim the old url to add an updated url post and that was really all I could do. 

As a blog spot blogger it's easy enough to change your blog name a million times if you want to.  All your links remain intact.  Nobody has to update their feed readers.  Google recognizes the switch pretty quickly, and because the url hasn't changed there is no total break in traffic.  Switching your url however, is another story, and even as I was thinking that I might regret it, I knew I had to do it anyway, because it was bugging me and I couldn't leave well enough alone.  I'm pretty sure that half the traffic I was getting was spam bots anyway, so in that respect having a new url is like a clean slate.  It's also a clean slate for people reading your blog which is good and not so good at the same time.  I figure, if they like my blog, they'll update their readers, if they don't then who needs 'em anyway right?  In this internet world where numbers are everything I was getting a numbers boost from followers who don't read, but again, who needs 'em anyway?  I am not a blogger for money, so traffic is and should be a secondary concern, but damn it sucks that when I google my own blog name it doesn't show up on the first page like it used to.  Bummer.  I can say I blog for me all I want (and I do), but I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't want somebody to read it.  

So, why don't I want my own domain?  This may sound really weird, but I have this vision of something happening to me.  Anything bad, where I'm not well or where I am too preoccupied with something bad to think about the expiration of my domain.  I miss the deadline to renew and my entire blog disappears.  Or, when I die, maybe a little morbid, but c'mon we all know it's going to happen, and don't pay that bill my entire blog disappears.  Honestly, I don't even know if that's how it works, but with a blog spot I don't have to worry about that.  I do nothing year after year and this blog is here.  I don't have to be fully responsible for hosting issues.  Every year people who don't profit from their blog or don't blog as much as they used to have to think to themselves...do I really want to pay for another year of my domain?  I don't want to have that thought every year.  I blog a little or a lot, pay nothing, and my blog is here.  I don't have to do anything, and I don't have to rationalize the expense or wonder if it is really "worth" it.  I remember when bloggers first started saying that having your own domain makes you look more professional.  I was that blogger thinking...for what?  Why do I need to look professional?  Why do I need business cards, a newsletter, and a media kit?  Well, now I know.  Blogging has turned into a money making empire for some.  Having your own domain supposedly helps increase traffic and SEO and all of those other things that I have mostly ignored.

So I asked myself.  What would make me happy despite all of the inconvenience and hassle that goes along with it?  The answer was switching my url, and so I did.  Anything I ever linked on twitter, or Pinterest is dead.  Any links I have ever put within my blog posts is dead.  I updated a few links on Pinterest, and in some series posts and recent posts, but I have published 726 posts so I'm not gonna get 'em all.  Bloglovin' was easy enough to switch without disruption, but anyone who ever got updates in blog reader or any other readers I don't  know about will not.

As far as google is concerned this blog doesn't even exist anymore, but you know what?  My blog is not dead to me.  Hello out there, I'm still here! I'm only a blog spot blogger.  I don't make money, I don't get free stuff, and I don't have a gazillion followers.  I also don't have to pretend  Scotch-Brite's new disposable toilet scrubber has totally changed my life.  I do show up here to write things because I love to write things so I'll just keep doing that.

Hello out there, I'm still here.

 
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URL Change

Hello Readers,

My blog url has changed to http://mahogany-drive.blogspot.com/

If you follow via Bloglovin' it has been updated.

If you follow me via Blogger Dashboard I think you will need to re-add it in order to continue receiving updates.  Click the add button on the right above the reading list.  This is how to add/delete if you aren't sure how.  Actually, I would love to know if my newest post from the new url showed up in your dash automatically so if that happened please let me know!  I researched it, but am not 100% certain how that will works.

If you have my blog linked anywhere in your blog in a post or on the blogroll I think you will need to re-add it with the updated url.  All my links are broken, and I'll lose readers.  I may regret this.

Other ways to Follow:

Subscribe via FeedBurner 

 Subscribe in a reader

Subscribe via Feedly
 

 
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I'm a Closet Blogger

Blogging is a really odd hobby for someone so private, but I am not any one thing.  I was a tall gymnast, a quiet cheerleader, and a shy model.  I wrote a novel I'm scared to let anyone read, and very few people know I wrote a novel at all.  I am really good at choosing activities I am totally unsuited for

I'm a closet blogger.  And not the kind you might be thinking of, because clearly it has nothing to do with fashion.  I've been blogging for going on seven years (!!) and I am still very much in the closet about it.  Sometimes I feel as if I'm leading a double life because the majority of people in real life have never seen my blog.  The rest of them don't know that I blog at all.  I can count on one hand the number of people who have the link and of those people I think MJ is the only one who reads.  They are MJ, my mom, my two sisters and a good friend who lives out of state and outside my social circle.  They all know I blog on the down low and that it is not something I want people to know about.

Top secret blog post coming right up

So how have I kept it away from almost everyone I know for all these years?  First of all, I am really good at keeping a secret.  I might be tempted to let a little tidbit slip, but mum's the word if I want it to stay that way.  I can't tell anyone my blog name.  I don't share posts on my personal Facebook.  I don't reference our real names on the blog or any social media because I don't want anyone to google me and find my blog. 

No one I know in real life is allowed to follow me on any social media I use that links to my blog.  That's Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.  Keeping my blog name a secret means, that there is little to no chance they'll find me.  I specifically told MJ he isn't allowed to follow me so he knows better, but when my little sister followed me on Instagram I had to block her until she unfollowed me.  Maybe that was a little extreme, but if she follows me, then friends and family that follow her might find my blog and I can't have that. 

I was really nervous about starting a blog Facebook page.  It was just a little too close for comfort and I was afraid that it would show up somewhere on my personal page.  I almost had a heart attack one day when I realized I accidentally shared something under my blog Facebook Page to my personal Facebook profile.  I frantically deleted the share from my news feed, terrified that I had outed myself.  It's been over a year now, and I think I'm safe as long as I don't promote my Facebook posts or use the wrong profile in the wrong place.

For a long time I didn't mention it to friends at all.  I didn't want them to read and I didn't want to feel obligated to share, but I've been doing it for so long that after awhile it felt weird not to.  I have no illusions that friends and family are clamoring to find out more about my super exciting life or blast my posts out on social media, but once that url is out there is no taking it back, and I want to keep blog life separate from real life.  I started mentioning that I blog here and there only recently, because I wanted to avoid that awkward conversation.  

Yes, I have a blog, and no you can't read it. 

I had to get comfortable with saying that it's just something I prefer to keep for myself....and random internet strangers.  Nothing personal.  It turns out that people can respect that, and then it only gets more awkward when they ask what I blog about. Ooohh...anything I want...life.  Most non bloggers think it's weird.

I prefer to keep blogging my secret and yet, it's on the internet that never forgets open to the whole wide world, so it's no secret at all.  Maybe it makes no sense that I am so private about something so public, but people I know in real life and anonymous strangers are two very different audiences.  When anonymous strangers read my blog I still feel somewhat anonymous, but when it comes to people in real life I feel extremely exposed.  And judged.  I would much rather be judged by anonymous strangers than people I know.  I'm not going to say I don't care at all, but I certainly don't care as much about internet strangers because I didn't go to school with them, or work with them. They aren't friends with my husband and I will probably never meet them in real life.  If I ever do it would most likely be a blogger, which would make it okay because being a fellow blogger, they "get it," and we are all in it together.

My internet presence is definitely me, but it is also kind of not me in the sense that it's the me I present to the internet.  I'm naturally a private person, but keeping the internet me and the real life me separate is what allows me to be as open as I am, which isn't even as open as a lot of other bloggers are.  I don't share deep dark secrets on the blog so it's not like I'm really hiding too much over here.  I try to stick to content I would be okay with anyone reading about, but it's way more than what I share on Facebook and it is comforting to know that people I know aren't likely to see it.  I like my quasi privacy.  There is freedom in that.

I love writing and I really love this space.  When I write a blog post I'm really proud of I am bursting to share, but the majority of the time I'm exceedingly glad that it's still my secret.  The fact that my blood runs cold any time I think I've been outed is enough to tell me that I'm not ready to share.  In a blogging world so intent on increase traffic! and get more followers! this may not be the best strategy, but I don't care.  The internet is vast and my blog isn't big enough or viral enough for someone I know to accidentally stumble upon it.  I figure if there ever comes a day where that happens then so be it, but I'm probably not going to be the one to tell.

What's in a Blog Name?

Yes, you are in the right place, it's just that I have changed my blog name for the fourth time. That's four times in going on six years of this blog's history. Five if you count the blog I originally started on Word Press.  Is that a lot? I think it is.

When I changed it to Pink Sunshine it felt right and I was certain that I would never feel the need to change it again but towards the end of last year a new name infiltrated my thoughts.  I couldn't get it out of my head and Pink Sunshine didn't feel like me anymore.  I would have felt weird having my blog name be my parent's address while they were living there so it never occurred to me that Mahogany Drive was the perfect forever blog name until after they moved to Vegas last year.  The move drummed up all the feelings of nostalgia I ever had about my childhood home.  I moved in when I was in 1st grade and didn't move out until the year I graduated from college.  Mahogany Drive is the last place that we all lived together as a family.  It's where I grew up.  There are so many memories and an entire era of my life tied up in that house.  To this day, the land line to Mahogany Drive is the only phone number I can recite without a hitch.  I've since forced myself to remember MJ's cell phone number but it still takes me a minute to string the numbers together from memory and sometimes I still forget.   I don't remember phone numbers like I used to, but I think the land line to Mahogany Drive will be etched in my memory forever.  It made us all a little sad to know that number was no longer 'ours' even though we had stopped using it after my parents got cell phones.

I pulled out an old flash drive in hopes of finding a picture of our old house on Mahogany.  I didn't find any.  I'll have to search the real photo albums.  You know, those books that people used to put pictures in?  I didn't find what I was looking for but I enjoyed the trip down memory lane that took me back to 2006.  That flash drive is a treasure trove of pictures and videos that I don't even remember saving.  I lost a lot of pictures when my Mac crashed last year but the ones I was most worried about are on that flash drive.  Our first date.  Our first overnight trip, the floor plan for our first home together that I saved off the website.  And the more recent lost photos (including our honeymoon) are carefully archived in photo albums on Facebook from back in the days when I consistently put everything there.  As I dug through the photos that MJ did recover from my Mac I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of pictures that were there, especially because I can still remember the days before digital cameras.  I take pictures of anything and everything because it's easy, because I can, and my camera/phone is by my side 24/7.  Pictures are a dime a dozen.  It's nothing to take five shots just to get the perfect one so I have almost identical pictures of a lot of the same things.  I should delete the duplicates but I don't.  Just in case.  I have pictures of beef stew, pictures of my yoga mat, random pictures of the sky.  They flood my phone, consume all the memory and I become annoyed over having to decide which to keep and which to delete.  Which ones were real moments and which ones were just in case I wanted to Instagram it or blog about it later?

I took a Polaroid camera to 5th grade camp and in in high school I was always the one with the camera at every event.  I sent my rolls of film out for developing by mail because it was cheaper and patiently awaited my return packet so anxious to see how they turned out.  I have always had a love for picture taking because I want those memories but the over abundance of images has made me slightly indifferent to how valuable and precious these pictures really are.  Looking through that old flash drive made me realize how detached I had become.  Each photo back then seemed to count so much more than they do now.   Photo taking was reserved for special times and special things.  You had to make a point to bring your camera with you and if you forgot it all was lost.  You didn't take ten pictures of the same pose or five pictures of your wine glass because there were only so many shots. You wouldn't waste a frame on something so trivial and there was time, effort and money involved in seeing the finished product.  Even after digital taking pictures of chicken or a margarita still wasn't a thing.  Without social media nobody thought so hard about documenting the mundane because it was about the moment and the people you were with not when and how you were going to share it later.  I remember lovingly selecting each photo to place in my photo album.  Now they just sit around in a hard drive somewhere taking up space and if I did decide to put them in an album more than half of them wouldn't make the cut.

Blogging is not a passing fancy or a trend for me.  I plan to blog for years to come and once I got the new name in my head the old name started to feel like one I had already grown out of.   I'm not posting as often as I used to but I'm okay with that because it's reminiscent of the old days when it was less forced and more organic.  Less about numbers and more about writing.  Looking at those photos from before blogging made me remember how excited I was just to have a place on the internet that was all my own and a time when that was the only reason anybody did it.  It reminded me of just how precious each and every photo really is and why I started blogging in the first place.  Memories are precious and writing is what I love to do.  I want to get back to that. 

Can I just say how excited I was to claim the name for all of my social media accounts without having to add any funky underscores or additional numbers? This name was just sitting there waiting for me to take it.  The only thing I have not switched over is my feed burner feed name.  I actually have twenty-one precious subscribers that I will probably lose forever if I make them update it so I'll sit on that for a minute before I make a decision.  If I know me, I'll probably end up changing it because it's going to bug the heck out of me that it doesn't match everything else.

So what's in a blog name?  Everything.  Once upon a time Mahogany Drive housed my family and everything I loved and owned.  It's also who I am.  I can't think of a better name for a blog that will continue to house my pictures, memories and thoughts for years to come.  I'm never changing my blog name again.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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It's All About the Writing

My weekend was so boring.  Definitely boring in a good way but also nothing to write home about since I'm sure you don't want to hear about how I didn't leave the house once, ate chicken, watched movies, did laundry, got rid of some junk, finally exercised and sat at my dining room table in my pajamas writing.  The only person I "saw" was MJ and that was over FaceTime.  This can't be a weekend post because I basically just summed it up in 3 sentences and there are no pictures so I'm going to talk about something else now.  

How often do you go back and read your old blog posts?  I don't do it all the time but now and then I randomly skip around from post to post reading things I wrote two months or two years ago.  It's really fun to take a walk down memory lane.   It's super annoying if I find a typo after so much time has passed.  I guess reading it a million times isn't always enough.  My earlier blog posts are very long winded, overly wordy and way too uptight.  I changed my writing style when I realized that other people were actually reading it.   I had to work on loosening up to make it more conversational and not worrying so much about using proper English so that my personality would come through and it wouldn't read like a boring college essay.

When I write posts I have a tendency to obsess.  I cut and paste entire sections from one place to another, add words, delete words.  I read it over and over  looking for typos and making sure that everything is just the way I want it.  Some posts flow easier, but with others I have a harder time translating my thoughts and feelings into words.  The editing process never ends.  After I read it for the millionth time I can't look at it anymore because if I do I'll probably find yet another thing I want to change and I'm just over it by then. 

By the time I hit publish I don't even know what I'm looking at any more so reading it later allows me to look at it with a fresh eye so it's like reading it for the first time.   I finally get get to "see" what I wrote in a way that I couldn't when I originally wrote obsessed over it.  I don't know how people blog every day! I really don't have that much to say but I also have this problem where I hesitate because I'm not sure if something is "blog worthy" then the more I look at it the worse it seems to get.  I'll throw some words down one day and then finish it the next with a fresh brain or I just abandon the post all together.  I have the same issue with writing my novel.  One day it's the worst thing ever written, but if I don't look at it for a few days I start to like it again.  I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing even though it's never going to be perfect.  I over think everything and it's really annoying!  I'm still trying to be more okay with blogging just for the sake of blogging without worrying too much if it will be one of the best things I've ever written. 

The sharing and the interaction with readers is a big bonus but it's really is all about the writing for me.  And the preservation of memories.  It's the whole reason I blog in the first place so even if I look back and think oh my gosh why did I even write that, I'll still be okay with how I wrote it and love that it's there to look back on.  That being said, I really do need to learn how to let go a little bit.  Write what I want to say and move on just like I would if no one was reading.  It's just a blog.    

Have you changed your writing style from when you first started blogging to now?
How long does it take you to write a post?
How important is it to you to blog every day?

Why I Like Being a Small Blog

I haven't been posting a whole lot.  But that's okay.  I can do that.  We don't like to but sometimes we just can't help comparing ourselves to those blogs that earn money, have thousands of page views per day, get a ga-zillion comments or boatloads of free stuff.  That is all well and good but it comes at a price that some of us little blogs don't have to pay.  I realize that "small" or "large" when referring to blogs is subjective but I think we have a general idea of what category our own blog fits into.  Here are some reasons that I really like being a little blog.

1)  Pressure.  In order to keep those page views up and keep the money coming in from advertisers or sponsors or whatever else you have to generate a lot of content and buzz about your blog.  As a smaller blog I simply don't have that pressure.  I don't have sponsor posts, product reviews, link ups or giveaways that have to go up.  I didn't even realize that posting every day was a "thing" until I kept reading posts apologizing for not being able to post everyday.  What? I'm just not that creative and I don't want to post something just to call it a post.  I've never been a daily poster.  Well, except that one time I posted for days on end about my European Vacation which ironically enough is the kind of post that a lot of readers hate.  I don't feel that pressure to come up with the next greatest blog post to keep readers entertained every day.  I don't feel any pressure to compete for top blogger.  When I finally get around to turning that blog draft into a post I do and if there is nothing I feel like blogging about I don't.  I may or may not plan guest posts when I go on vacation.  Don't get me wrong.  I love writing and coming up with great content that people enjoy.  It's such a rush!  But I like not feeling pressured.  My goal is to show proof of life for myself and Blogher with at least one post a week.  I usually do more then that but I like it that I don't feel like I have to. 

2)  Scrutiny.  They say that you know you've really made it when people start talking about you.  And not always in a good way.  Chances are I'm not going to be a GOMI victim or find myself the center of some big controversy because of a blog post that I wrote.  I simply don't have enough page views to attract enough of a buzz for anything I write to go viral.  Not that it's impossible.  Just a whole lot less likely.  All bloggers really put themselves out there and it can be a really scary thing.  As a smaller blog I don't worry as much that everything single thing I write is potential material for trashing.  It's the internet so really it is, but I don't feel it so much.

3)  Hate mail.  Big bloggers are targets for those who are green with blogger envy.  Success breeds jealousy and jealousy very often leads to evil comments, finding yourself caught up in blogger drama or as the target of a website dedicated to bashing you.  People can be so so nasty.  It's really sad to see some of the negativity that has swirled around blogland.  I was so shocked at first because I've always seen it as a supportive and happy place.  Well, nobody is hating on me.  Nobody is jealous of my blog and all of my followers.  I've seen smaller blogs get attacked too but in all my years of blogging I've never gotten a nasty comment.  This could mean I'm really boring or that my life doesn't appear perfect enough or more then likely just that I don't have the visibility to make anybody jealous enough to hate me.  I don't have a thick skin.  I'm not sure how I'd handle it and I'd hate to have to deal with that.

4)  Reader interaction.  I don't know how some of those big bloggers deal with the sheer volume of comments they get.  Unless you have an assistant it's obviously not possible to reply to every single one and still have a life so you don't.  Then you might worry that your readers feel ignored and the truth is they probably do, but there simply isn't anything that you can really do about it.  I got an auto generated reply e mail the other day.  It said thank you for commenting.  I can appreciate the thought but I'm still not sure what's worse.  The generic auto reply or nothing at all.  I don't have to reply to or feel badly about NOT replying to 50 million comments on every blog post.  Life gets busy.  I don't reply to every single one but I would say I get to reply to almost all of them.  If I get a new commenter I'll often pop over to comment on their blog.  If I were getting 50 comments on daily posts there is no way that would be possible.  I'd probably try, not be able to keep up and end up feeling really bad about it. 

5) Blog Reading.  If I was spending every day trying to generate a new blog posts, reply to comments, organize link ups and giveaways, set up sponsored posts, do product reviews, analyze traffic stats and whatever else it is that big bloggers do I wouldn't have half the time I do to actually read and comment on other blogs.  I am addicted to reading blogs.  I read way too many and as it is sometimes I have to hit "mark all as read" because I simply can't keep up.  I can't imagine how little time I'd have for it if a lot more of my blogging time had to be dedicated to blog business.  

6) Social Media and Marketing.  I want people to read my blog but I don't want to spend a lot of money on giveaways or multiple sponsorships every month to try to get my blog noticed.  It has become routine for me to tweet my posts once or twice in a day and post it on my Facebook page.  I've always had a personal Facebook but I started a Facebook Page, Twitter and Instagram just for blogging.  I don't schedule tweets.  I don't have sponsors to shout out.  I'm not concerned about my lack of presence.  If I drop off the face of the social media planet it's fine.  Except for the most part I haven't because I started to enjoy twitter and Instagram.  It's such a ridiculous time suck but I like it so I try to limit how much time I spend on it. 

7) Blogger burn out.  I can't tell you how many posts I see apologizing because their heart isn't in it anymore.  It's time to scale back sponsorships and no longer will daily posts be possible.  Many take an extended break because blogging has turned into a dreaded obligation that they no longer have time or desire for.  A very popular blogger totally quit last week-indefinitely.  Bloggers are running themselves into the ground obsessing over numbers and trying to be that awesome gung ho blogger.  I see it over and over again.  There are times that I'm not as motivated to post as others.  Sometimes I just don't feel inspired or I'm too busy but I've never felt burnt out or that blogging was something I "have" to do.   I don't do a lot of things the big bloggers do.  To me a lot of it feels to "businessy" and there are too many strings attached so it becomes work.  I do some of the things that the big blogs do but on a smaller scale.  I  have the freedom to blog or not to blog and I like that.  It keeps me coming back for more because it's on my terms.  I came to a realization that the times I have become most disenchanted with blogging had less to do with actual blogging and more to do with all of the external blogging stuff.  Thinking too much about numbers and comparing myself to other bloggers kills my confidence and overall satisfaction with blogging; but only if I let it.  Once I block out all that noise I'm fine.

If blogging was my full time job that paid me full time job kind of money I'll gladly treat it like work.  I wonder how much of the joy of blogging would be stolen if it was my job but I'd suck it up and consider myself lucky.  For some it falls into their lap and they don't have to try very hard.  Those are the ones you really love to hate, but I think the majority work their butts off for it and I can't help but think about the sacrifices that all of them make.  I think about how it might start to feel like work and how much pressure they might be feeling to keep it all going.  I don't want to HAVE to post 5 times a week and spend 25 hours a week on my blog.  I already have one job that doesn't pay me enough.  I don't need two.  For every blogger that is earning a solid income or a decent chunk of change there are thousands upon thousands who work just as hard doing everything they are told they are supposed to and still make little to no money.  That's the kicker; and I just don't know if it's worth it.  And maybe I'm only saying that because my blog hasn't become "successful" by definition of numbers and promotional opportunities.  I've never tried NOT to be a big blogger but I also don't think I've done everything I could to try to be one either.  If blogging on my terms at my pace doesn't translate into a large following that's okay.  Not every small blog is a big blog failure.  That's not necessarily the goal for everyone. 

I started this blog because I love to write.  It works for me. I don't get to quit my "day" job, but then again most don't.  I don't get to be "best" blogger or get a lot of free stuff but I get to spend less time on the business of blogging so I have more time to dedicate to the joy of blogging.  For me that's reading, commenting, engaging with other bloggers and posting about whatever inspires me whenever I feel like it.  I love sharing my writing and I want people to read it.  I get excited when I see page views go up or I get another follower.  I love this community and I love my blog.  I still pour a lot of time, energy and care into blogging but on my terms without a whole lot of strings attached.  And I kinda like it that way. 

About all those Giveaways

BACK IN THE DAY
When I first started blogging in 2009 there weren't a lot of giveaways at all.  Well maybe there were but I didn't realize it.  It wasn't until 2011 that I started seeing them pop up more and more and then last year giveaways really exploded across blogland.   They were every day every where.  I thought it was a phase and just the "in" thing to do at the moment and that it would go away.  Surely these people will run out of money.  Then the group giveaways started.  The prizes got bigger and the ways to enter multiplied.  What started out as giving away a scarf or a $20 gift card here and there turned into iPads, cell phones and $1,000 Visa Gift Cards.  There are entire blogs, twitter accounts and Facebook pages dedicated to promoting and entering giveaways.

The GFC count on a lot of blogs really began to skyrocket and it was clear that giveaways were not going to stop any time soon.  I was really annoyed at first.  As a Giveaway entrant:  You mean to tell me that I have to follow 20 blogs to enter this giveaway?  I wasn't willing to follow twenty million blogs so I knew I hadn't a chance in winning.  I knew that people were probably just following the blog to enter the giveaway with no intention of ever reading and I didn't want to do that.  Didn't these bloggers realize that they were only getting "fake" followers and being taken advantage of?   As a Blogger:  It didn't feel "fair" that their number count was going to double over night while I've been tapping away at my keyboard for years and gotten nowhere near that many followers.  It's not the only way to attract followers but we all know it's one of the fastest ways to accelerate the pace.

TAKING THE GIVEAWAY PLUNGE
I started out with just entering them.  I'm a natural sweepstakes enterer by nature.  I enter tons of worldwide sweepstakes every day that I have no shot in hell of winning.  I know that I will probably never win the HGTV dream home but for some odd reason I'm compelled to enter.  I've always done this.  Even as a child I used to fill out the Publishers Sweepstakes entry form and stick on the little car stamp in the color of my choice on behalf of my parents.  Yes, I'm addicted to sweepstakes and yes, it's a problem.  Giveaways had become a part of blog land.  If bloggers wanted to give things away in exchange for fake followers then I would let them.  I started following tons of blogs and entering my little sweepstakes loving heart out but then I started to feel bad.  I still enter giveaways but now I only take entries I want and limit blog follow entries to ones I'm already following or blogs that I legitimately have an interest in even if it lessens my chance of winning.  I also try to comment beyond the giveaway post. 

Doing a giveaway on my own blog still didn't feel right.  I didn't want to be like everybody else and do a giveaway just to get my numbers up.  I utilize some blog promotional tools but giveaways or anything that involves the exchange of money or goods felt too much like selling out or buying readers. It was hard to take the slow organic approach and watch other blogger numbers go through the roof  while mine remained low.  I held out for while and then did a solo giveaway on my own blog around Christmas of last year for a gift card to one of my favorite stores.  It felt right because I really did see it as a way to thank my readers for reading.  The winner was already a reader and she was thrilled.  It felt really good to give something away and make someone happy so I was willing to do it again when asked to do one in a small group by one of my favorite bloggers.  I was getting used to the concept and I got to thinking.  How would I know that doing giveaways was not right for my blog if I didn't give it a chance and see what it was like?  Why not take advantage of the opportunity for other people to discover my blog?  I love writing and while I am not motivated by the follower count I do want people to read.  I started to wonder how people would ever find my blog if I wasn't willing to follow the current trends to promote it.   As I continued to enter giveaways I also started winning some cool stuff so I also felt it would be good for my giveaway karma to give something back.  I wasn't interested in signing up for a random group giveaway that someone tweeted about.  I took the approach that if I was asked by a blogger that I have a connection with I would say yes and only with what little money that I'd generated out of blogging.  It still felt kind of organic.  Sort of.  

I have won giveaways.  I have done 3 solo and participated in 4 group giveaways hosted by others.  These are my observations.

1// You actually can discover a lot of new favorites through giveaways.  No, I cannot follow and read fifty million blogs but yes, I might discover just one more that I really really like.  Most of us follow a ton already but with incentive we might decide to add yet another and it could turn out to be one of your favorite blogs.  Every new follower is also a potential reader.

2// I never really got sponsorship until I won add space through a giveaway and had a chance to experience it first hand. It was then that I realized how much bloggers put into the whole sponsorship thing and how kind they are in promoting other bloggers.  Yes.  Often in exchange for money.  But kind nonetheless.  I've found blogs through a sidebar button or sponsor spotlight.  It's possible.  Cassie @ Live, Laugh Love and Sarah @ A Girl Smitten were awesome.  They checked in with me and delivered everything they said they would.  I don't accept sponsors or buy add space on others; but I get it. 

3// Winning free stuff is really fun.  When you win a group giveaway it's like winning everyday because you keep getting e mails from people wanting to send you free stuff.   

4// There are a lot of professional giveaway enterers that have profiles specifically set up for entering giveaways.  They will follow you but will probably never read your blog.

5// A lot of my regular readers don't enter at all.  I think a lot of people don't enter because they figure they will never win, entering can be a pain in the butt or they simply don't like them.  I understand the point is often to gain new followers but on the other hand my ideal giveaway is where a lot of my current readers enter and a long time reader wins.  Rafflecopter gets to pick not me.  

6// They are actually a lot of fun.  I'm always honored when a blogger asks me to join in and it's fun working with other bloggers. People get really excited about getting free stuff 'cause who doesn't love free stuff and it's fun being a part of making that happen.

7// Instead of looking at it as just a greed thing and just wanting to get more followers I started to see the kindness and generosity behind bloggers who spend their own money to give things to people that they don't even know.  Yes, they want people to follow their blogs but they are still giving something back.

8// I can understand why a lot of new bloggers jump right into giveaways so they can get their blog out there and establish a base.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to be a new blogger right now with 2 followers when a lot of blogs are 3k+ and a lot of bloggers already have formed connections. It's got to be so intimidating in a way that it wasn't when I started out. 

9// You can fast track your numbers with all the promoting tools available and get all of the followers in the world but you have to produce content that people want to read in order to keep them and get them reading and commenting.  I see a lot of blogs with a whole lot of followers but nobody is commenting.

Bloggers give away things in exchange for a chance.  A chance for someone to possibly fall in love with their blog and become a new reader.  That's what most of us want.  Sponsorships, giveaways, link ups, guest posting, social media, SEO and google analytics (which I still don't understand) among many other things represents the evolution of blogging.  I hated a lot of it at first but I think it was mainly just because it was new and it represented a new direction for blogging that I wasn't sure that I wanted to go.

I won't try everything but I wanted to give giveaways a chance before I totally made up my mind about whether I hated them or not.  And you know what?  I don't hate it.  I don't feel like I missed out by waiting so long to do one or that I'm missing out by not doing more.  I am open to doing it again but I probably won't do it a whole lot.  It's fun to watch that number go up but the overall satisfaction of getting a new follower out of the blue just because is far greater then when they come from giveaways.  Not that I don't appreciate giveaway follows.  Believe me I do.  It just feels different then when people just made that decision to follow without any incentive.

People complain that there are too many giveaways and I once did too but I'm over it. Your blog content should never consist of giveaway after giveaway.  People get bored.  It's free stuff!  If you want free stuff enter.  If not then move on.  If you don't like giveaways don't enter them and don't host them but like it or not it looks like they are here to stay.

What do you think?  Love them, loathe them or indifferent?

New Name New Look

So, as you can see things look a little different around here and I am sooooo excited about it.  I'm not even sure how I got the bug.  When I started this blog as Frugalista Getting Married I was planning our wedding on a budget.  After the wedding dropping Getting was easy enough but after four years I was ready for a change.  All of a sudden I was just really itching for a name change. I thought about it for a while to see if I could actually come up with a new blog title that I'd want to keep forever and ever.  Once I had the name I could not wait to get it changed up.  Like, I needed it done now!! I came up with a different name at first but then suddenly Pink Sunshine just came to me. It's perfect. Pink is my all time favorite color and I can't imagine that ever changing. I love Pink.  It's dainty, feminine and tutu's all wrapped up in a pretty satin bow.  I'm a girly girl.  It fits me.  And being a born and raised So Cal girl who is more likely then not cold even when everyone else isn't will probably never change either.  At least until I hit menopause.  I crave warmth and Sunshine.  I can't guarantee that I am going to live here forever; although I can't see myself living anywhere else but I know I'll always love the Sunshine and hate the rain. So there you have it. Pink Sunshine.

I had a new name and then a blog designer fell into my lap via referral from Jasmine who just had hers done.  It turned out she was available to work on it right away and it all happened faster then I expected it to.

I'm not changing my url thank goodness so it should be pretty seamless.  I'm going to be updating my Bloglovin', Twitter, Facebook, Instagram usernames accordingly.  The only ones who have to actually update anything will be my handful of RSS subscribers and one e mail subscriber so those folks, please update your feeds accordingly as I will be changing that too.  Also, if you currently have one of my buttons on your blogs you will want to switch that up as well.

I was kind of nervous about changing my name because a lot of people find my blog by searching the blog title. What if they can't find me anymore?  Once I decided to change the name I wanted it yesterday so there really was no getting around it.  I had to do it.  And since I'm not the biggest fan of change I'm 99.9 percent sure that this will be the last time it happens.  I figure I better do it now before I blow up in the blog world.  Which I know is about to happen any day now. 


Blog Designed by:

The first time I had a blog make over I wasn't too sure of what I wanted but this time I was more specific in my requests.  Especially since I plan on keeping this design for a looooong time.  My blog designer is Rekita who blogs over at Her & Nicole and her design site is Designed Lovely Studio.  I have to give her a big giant THANK YOU because I was relentless in my e mails about this, that and the other and she was relentless in the way that she responded to me and did everything she could to give me what I wanted.  We e mailed back and forth constantly for days!  We're talking over 60 emails.  All. Day.  Long.  Change is really hard for me, I am a perfectionist, I am a control freak and I am obsessed.  I'm sure she's thrilled to have her life back.  I know I am!  I really appreciate her hard work on this.  There were a few glitches at the end but she figured out how to fix everything and she even made some last minute changes for me.  She never made me feel like I was a pain in the butt even though I probably was.  I know I was!!!  

Frugalista Married is now Pink Sunshine.  Hope you enjoy my new look as much as I do.

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I'm not the Popular Type

Okay.  This is a long one but I want you to read it so grab a coffee or wine if it's after 12 noon if you are so obliged.

In middle school there was a girl named Phaedra. She had brown curly hair with giant bangs teased sky high and shellacked with hairspray.  Our generation of 8th graders single handedly put a dent in the ozone with all of that aqua net.  Me included.  She had thick shiny braces on her teeth, brown hair, blue eyes, an outgoing personality and she was popular.  Everybody liked her.  In High School there were several queen bees that ruled the roost.  One of them was a fellow cheerleader and friend.  Let's call her Lena.  She was smart, pretty and sweet.  She had an upperclassmen boyfriend who was one of the cutest boys in school, she had a big house, everyone thought her dad was cute and she even had a car.  Everyone liked her too.  People just flocked to her and wanted to be her friend. 

I was never that popular kid.  I was always on the fringe.  I wouldn't exactly say I was a nerd.  Okay, I definitely was a nerd up until 10th grade but somewhere around that time things started to improve for me.  I was already on Varsity Gymnastics but I made the Cheer leading team.  I joined student government.  I ditched glasses for contacts and started to get a handle on what to do with my hair.  By my senior year I could call a lot of those "cool" kids my friends and  I even made prom court.  To this day I still can't believe that happened.  I didn't have that outgoing personality that draws people in.  I was quiet.  I wasn't the star anything.  I wasn't loud enough, confident enough, smart enough, different enough or pretty enough.  I didn't have the right clothes.  People didn't flock to me the way they did to them.  I mingled with them.  But I couldn't BE them.  

This post was featured as an editor pick on BlogHer.com

I've been blogging for about 4 years now.  At first I was totally oblivious to the whole blogger industry that was exploding around me.  I started seeing other bloggers post about comparing themselves to others, feeling inadequate and reading a post and wishing they could have written it.  I was like, what are they talking about?  Then I came out from under whatever rock I was hiding under and realized that there were some really popular blogs out there gaining thousands of followers and that blogging was moving in a new direction.  Then somewhere along the way I started having some of those feelings myself.  It was a feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on. And then it dawned on me that some of those old feelings of wanting to be accepted and liked that I had in high school had resurfaced but substitute high school for the blogging world.  And it was kind of weird to realize this because as an adult I thought that I'd put those kind of emotions behind me.  I work full time, I pay bills.  I have a greater awareness of the world. I have a full happy life with fulfilling relationships.  I have a mortgage and a husband.  Why am I concerned about being popular, liked and coming up with a really witty status update that will stand out?  'Aint nobody got time for that.

The blog world is full of popular kids, cliques and social hierarchy.  And it can feel very competitive.  I'm not saying any of it's bad, good or intentional but it's there.  I think it's just the nature of the beast.  Here's the thing.  I've never been and will probably never be that cool kid.  I didn't win Prom Queen my Senior year in high school and I'm certainly not winning any popularity contests in the blog world today.  Popularity was important to me as an insecure teenager but it's not what I'm after now as a slightly less insecure adult blogger.  

I ran for class secretary my freshman year of high school.  It was a really bold move for someone like me.  I was terrified of the whole process and I still can't figure out what possessed me to do it.  Anyway, I failed miserably.  Not only because I was an unpopular nerd but because I was too afraid to 'put myself out there.'  I didn't want to put up too many signs.  I didn't want to hand out candy with a vote for me tag on it.  I didn't want to ask people to vote for me.  I was running for a class office but it was almost like I didn't want anyone to know that I was.  The more people that knew I was running the more that would know I failed.  Plus, I couldn't actually let them know how bad I really wanted it because that would make defeat even more embarrassing.  In that sense, I am just not a natural when it comes to selling myself.  I don't always like to put myself out there like that.  It makes me feel vulnerable and I've never liked asking people for help or favors.  I want you to like my blog but I don't necessarily want to ask you.  I'm stubborn.  I want you to stumble upon it and make the decision on your own. Perhaps by osmosis.   

I'm not the life of the party.  I'm more of an understated introvert and I guess my blog is too.

I can't be more eloquent, funnier, craftier, more domestic, more fashionable, more this or more that then I am.  It's too exhausting to try to be something I'm not. I can only be me.

Popularity is seductive.  We all want to be liked.  Being liked is validating.  The more validated we become the more we want it.  The less validated we are the more we want it.  It's a natural desire but I try to be conscious of not letting it determine how I feel about myself.

I have come to understand that not everybody is gonna like me even if I like them.  Not everyone will want to read my blog even if I read theirs.  And vice versa.  A lot of people are not going to be interested in a single thing I have to say. It doesn't have to be personal.  It's just life.  We can only read so many blogs in a day anyways.

I can comment 'till the cows come home and some bloggers will never acknowledge my existence.  Ever.  And I am not a no reply commenter. Again, trying not to take it personally.

There is no exact science to blogging or popularity.  It's what you make it and it's what you bring to the table as an individual.  Some bloggers will write two words or post a picture and get a million comments and the next person could post those same words with picture and get none.  Some blogs employ all the tricks in the book to gain readers and then there are others that don't have to.

I realize that if I don't do certain things I may never get noticed.  If I don't throw a party I can't expect anyone to show up.  If I don't coordinate my ideas I can't expect a lot of people to know about them.  There are many tools of the trade available for growing readership but I haven't really utilized all of them.  I can't seem to decide what feels right for me and my blog.  I do a bit of self promotion here and there but mostly I just take it as it comes.  It's the so called organic approach.  Which basically means slow. 

Then there is the business side of it all.  Thinking too much about word optimization, page views, or how to 'drive' traffic makes my brain hurt.  Marketing what?  It's too much like work and I don't think of this blog as a job.

Here are the blog stats in all their glory.  It's not anything to brag about.  Normally you see this stuff posted on the Sponsor tab of a blog but I don't have one of those so I'm putting them here and after this you are likely never to see them again.  I have the lowest number of likes in the history of any Facebook page I have ever seen.  I actually think it's kind of funny.  I'm still not sure why I even bother with it.  I don't pay that much attention to page views but I've seen anywhere between 180-450 per day based on the blogger dash numbers which are known to be inflated.  Nowhere near the astronomical 8,000 per day page views that some get.  My jaw about fell off my head when I saw that posted on someone's blog.  Maybe I should be embarrassed of these stats after 4 years of blogging but I'm not.  They're just numbers.  I wish I felt the same about my weight.

GFC:  236
Bloglovin':  68
Feedburner: 8
Twitter: 105
Instagram:  63
Facebook: 7
Pinterest:  37

I try not to confuse popularity or followers with quality.  It's really important for me to think about MY definition of blogger success.  Whatever that means to me is what will dictate the direction of my blog and how I feel about myself as a blogger.  Not everyone is cut out for blogger mogul status. Yes, you heard it here first; I've coined the phrase.  It's very impressive how far some of them have taken their blogs and I think that's great but not every blogger will get there. 

For me it can't be about followers because if it is then that means I'm a total fail and I refuse to believe that's the case.  I just want to write.  I'm working on a novel.  I enjoy documenting my life so I can look back on it later in life and I've been doing so since I was 9.  For me it's about good writing and feeling good about what I'm putting out there.  It's about consistency.  I may not have a set blogging schedule but for the most part you know you won't go too long without having me pop up in your news feed.  I love the relationships that I've formed with other bloggers.  It's about writing, engaging with other bloggers and having a good time doing it.  As long as I'm doing that I'm good.  I'm not going to sit here and say I don't want people to read my blog or that I wouldn't be happy to have higher numbers.  I wouldn't be on the internet if I didn't want anyone to read.  Having higher numbers would be cool...but not having that doesn't make me enjoy blogging any less.

I may not be good at getting a lot of people to like me but I am good at getting a few people to like me a lot.  There are some really good blogs that not a whole lot of people are reading and I like to believe that one of them is mine.  Not so much the whole nobody is reading thing, but that my blog is good.

Ode to Blogging

Linking it up with Leslie @Blonde Ambition

Blogging, blogging.  Oh, how I love thee.  I wanted to take a minute to say how much I absolutely love blogging.  I've had this blog since 2009.  In the beginning I had things to say and a desire to share it with others but I was basically just blogging into cyberspace. I don't think anyone read it.  I didn't get any comments and I had no followers.  But so what. I didn't care because I loved to write and now I had my own little spot on the internet in which to do so.  Ever so slowly I started getting a few followers.  Then there was a comment every now and then and that was just a bonus.  Now I still don't have a lot of followers but my blog has really grown in the sense that it has become part of a fun blogging community that I enjoy very much.  I'm not doing a lot of the things that other blogger are doing to increase their following and I know that.  I guess I'm old school.  When I first started most of us happily tapped away at our computers without giving that much thought to GFC numbers and if we got 2 comments we were thrilled.  The primary marketing strategy was posting and commenting on other posts.  I don't do a lot of giveaways or link ups and I haven't ventured into sponsorships.  I did make a blog Facebook page but I'm not very well "liked."  I guess I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in on all of that.  I don't put pressure on myself to post a certain amount.  I want to keep this fun and not burn myself out.  I see that happening to a lot of bloggers lately and I'm just not so sure I want to go there.  This blog was never about numbers to begin with and don't want that to change.  I don't concern myself so much with figuring out ways to increase traffic.  I do what feels naturally to me and if people like it they will keep coming back.  I want to allow my blog to be what it is and accordingly it has grown organically which is basically another name for very slooooowly.  A huge following isn't necessarily what I'm after so I'm okay with that.  Mostly anyways.  I have to admit that I succumb to blogger mogul envy every now and then but I think that's only natural.

I'm not a food blogger, fashion blogger or personal finance blogger.  I don't fit into any one niche so I have to call myself a lifestyle blogger.  Which sounds kinda cool actually.  I'm a mash up of all kinds of different things so I makes sense for me that my blog is too.

I've been writing in journals since I was 10 and in online journals since 2003 so I think it was meant to be that I have a blog.  I do this because I love to write.  On one hand it might seem weird that I blog because I'm more of a private quiet person.  On the other hand it makes complete sense because I love writing so much.  I keep my url under wraps for the most part.  It's hard not to mention that I blog because it's such a fun part of my life but at the same time I like to keep it for myself and not share the link with everyone that knows me.  Mj's  had it since the start but it's only recently that my older sister has it too.  Sometimes I have mixed feelings about putting so much out there on the internet.  I don't share all of my secrets of course but still; we kinda put ourselves out there every time we hit publish.   It goes with the territory.  Being part of the blogging community is such a joy to me.  I get to do what I love and interact with others who love doing it too.  I love checking in every day to see what all of you are up to.  When someone decides to follow my blog or takes a few minutes to read or comment it always means a lot to me. I may not follow every blog, comment on every single post I read or reply to every single comment I get but know that I love it that we are all in this blogging thing together. 

Anyways, I was enjoying my Saturday morning blogging and brimming with all kinds of ideas for blog posts.  I started feeling all mushy inside about blogging and so I started a new post and just had to get that out.  Here is another link about why I blog.

Blogging is Bad for Your Budget

Being part of the blogging world is so informative.   You get to see all kinds of things that people are wearing and buying and doing.  We post Christmas wish lists that makes others wish for it too and exchange ideas on home decor, beauty products and fashion just to name a few.  Blogging is great and all but it can be bad for your budget and I have a hard trail of evidence to prove it starting with what happened in December. 

Exhibit A:

Back in December I saw this Holiday wish list posted on Brown Girl blogs that included Tom's Wedge Booties.  So what did I do?  Within hours I ran to my computer and ordered them from Nordstrom's.  I also saw blue chambray shirts on lots of wish lists so I wanted that too but luckily I got that from Mj for Christmas.  Or you can bet I probably would have been out buying that too!

Well, once I had a cute pair of wedge booties in beige of course I had to have a pair in black.  So what did I do?  Within days I'd done my research and and ordered these Etienne Aigner black suede wedge booties on Amazon.

Exhibit B:

And sadly, it doesn't end there for me.  Not only that, but I dragged my fellow bloggers along with me for the ride.  I'd been wanting a striped cotton blazer for a while.  They were wearing them all over Europe when we were there and I was silly enough not to buy one.  After I got home I searched and searched but couldn't find one in any stores.  I gave up, but seeing Brittany's over at Fun With the Fullwoods looking so good in hers refueled the fire.  Isn't she pretty?  By the way this woman had a baby not too long ago.  Anyways, thanks to Brittany I had to continue my search.

So what did I do next?  In January I googled it and found them at Old Navy for a great price.  I thought about it for exactly one day then went there and snatched up the last size small.  Faith at Life, Love & Marriage posted this cute outfit with a striped blazer she saw on another blog so I knew she wanted one too.  It was my blogger duty to tell her  about it so I e mailed her and what did she do?  Within days she ordered it online.  Here we are in our must have striped cotton blazers styled in two totally different ways.

Top: Express // Blazer:  Old Navy 
Jeans:  Joe's Jeans // Boots:  Aldo

Too bad Mj noticed that the sensor tag was still on it when he took these pics.  Thank goodness I'd stuffed the receipt in the pocket so when I finally went back they knew I hadn't stolen it.  I also noticed that I forgot to put on a belt and that these other ladies are miles ahead of me as fashion bloggers.  Good thing I'm not a fashion blogger, but still; I need to work on my skills.

Faith- Top: Alloy// blazer: Old Navy  // Necklace & Earrings: F21 //
Jeans: Old Navy // Shoes: Zara's

How cute does she look? I love the way she styled it with pink shoes and rolled up the sleeves. A big thanks to her and her photographer husband for braving the snow for these shots. It just dawned on me that she came down with pneumonia not too long after these shots were taken. She's all better now thank goodness.  I hope this photo shoot didn't bring it on.  Oh the sacrifices we make for blogging.

 Exhibit C:

The story of woe continues.  While I was in Old Navy getting that striped cotton blazer I saw the gingham shirts that everyone in blog land has been rocking lately.  I told myself I wasn't shopping anymore, well except for that cotton blazer that got me there in the first place, so I didn't get it.  Then, I saw this post over at Because Shanna Said So about buying the black and white gingham she finally found at Old Navy after an exhaustive search.

I stayed strong and told myself I didn't need it but it was Emily's post at The Sweetest Thing that pushed me over the edge; and I quote. I own gingham button-downs in several colors because of the versatility. They are layering essentials, they look great alone, and they are multi-seasonal.  Well clearly Emily was telling me that I should go back for the black gingham.  I commented on her post that I'd probably be going back to Old Navy to get one in black and white.  She emailed me back that she didn't know they had them there.  I think that might be the one color she didn't have!  Well, it's a good thing I told her because within days she posted this pic.  And she's posted this shirt styled in two other amazing ways since this post.  Can you believe that I haven't even worn mine yet? But I will.

And here is Shanna rocking her black and white Gingham.  I'm learning from the best apparently.  This girl is so fashionable that she's in the running to be the first official US Wallis Blogger Ambassador.  She's in 1st place!  You can vote for her here. 

Source: becauseshannasaidso.blogspot.com  via Cece on Pinterest 

And that my friends is how blogging is bad for your budget.  I do believe the evidence that I have presented speaks for itself and proves that this kind of domino shopping effect is absolutely sweeping the blog world.  You better watch out.  Those fashion bloggers are dangerous!

Exhibit D:

You!!!

See anything you like here?  Who knows who's posting what tomorrow.  I hate to say it but there is an excellent chance that you have already fallen victim to blogging budget busting or that you will be next.  In fact, I've been struck again.  I bought some red skinny jeans two weeks ago...something I would have never considered even buying before!  Thanks again Shanna!  All I can say is DON'T break the bank and DO exercise some measure of self control. As much as we'd like to we can't buy everything! I love checking out blogger fashions as opposed to fashion magazines or runways because it's much more accessible and realistically presented to me.  Their influence has inspired quite a few shopping episodes but as long as I'm only spending what I can afford that's okay.  It's fun to like what I see in my closet and get excited about getting dressed.  I will never be a fashionista like some of these ladies but I think my wardrobe choices have definitely improved since I've started blogging and I like that...even if my bank account doesn't!

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