Cake Closure

You never imagine that you will get the wrong color cake on your wedding day of all days.  The one day when a cake matters so much.  It's just something that you don't think will ever happen to you and I still can't believe that it did.  I felt that sending the picture to the bakery was a no brainer and that it couldn't be clearer then that but apparently I was wrong.  Quite honesly, I would have rather have had the wrong flavor or even a totally different cake as long as it was the right colors because that's what will show up in a picture for years to come and it would have been nice if it matched our wedding.

I sent the bakery an e mail and included the picture of the cake we got and the picture of the cake I asked for.  It was clear to him that they were obviously two very different cakes.  He keeps saying that he saw Silver in the picture of the cake we requested and I still absolutely DO NOT.  As far as I'm concerned even if there was Purple in the cake if I said Pink & Black that's what they should have done.  I didn't push that too much because although I still can't figure out how he decided that Silver was confirmed we both agreed that we got a very different cake then what I asked for and that is what we needed to focus on.

I advised that I understand he can't give 100% but that I feel we deserve very close to it and he offered 50% straight out.  I was very glad that he was kind enough to realize that an error had been made and fair enough to offer reasonable compensation for it.  We will be getting a $216.00 refund check in the mail.  While it can never make up for having a cake that didn't match our wedding I at least feel relieved that our disappointment was acknowledged and compensated in some way.    If When I look back on this I will feel a little bit better knowing that it was resolved fairly.  It would be a heck of a lot worse to just feel as though we spent $425 on a cake, got totally screwed over and they didn't even care. 

I am frugal.  I love coupons and credit adjustments as much as maybe a little bit more the next person but as frugal as I am I would much rather have had them keep the $200 and have gotten the right cake.  Since it didn't work out that way I will take the discount and just be glad that justice has been served.  Now I have some kind of closure on the situation and that's better then nothing. 

The Horrible Wedding Cake Mistake

                                Exhibit A-The cake we asked for                                          

Exhibit B-The cake that was delivered

It was only a matter of time before I got to the Horrible Cake Mistake of my wedding.  I wanted to get to all of the good stuff first because that is what's most important but the glaring cake debacle unfortunately will always be some part of our wedding no matter how hard I try to forget it.  That night there was so much going on and I was having so much fun that once I realized that my cake was an impostor I had to shrug it off and get on with it.  I refused to let it ruin my night.  That's probably why I felt sadder about my cake the Monday after when we turned in our cake stands then I did the night of.  I had finally allowed myself to get upset about it. 

We told them that our cake was the wrong color and that we wanted to know what happened.  The girl at the counter went and got our paperwork and told us that the baker wrote down "Black and Silver stripes."  SILVER?  Where in the hell did they get silver when at no time did the word Silver ever cross my lips when discussing my cake.  The colors of our wedding are Pink and Black and that's the color that our cake was supposed to be.  We had our original sit down and discussed cakes with Pink, Black and White designs.  We continued to shop around and when we finally decided to book the cake with this bakery I did it over the phone.  I e mailed them a picture of how we wanted the cake to look-see Exhibit A above.  I told him over the phone we wanted a Pink cake with Pink and Black stripes.  How much clearer can you get then that?

Not only do I feel badly that my cake was the wrong color I also feel badly that I didn't prevent it from happening.  They are a reputable company and I e mailed them a picture but if I had asked them to confirm the colors when I made the final payment then chances are this would not have happened.  Shame on me for thinking they would get it right instead of pulling some random color out of their ass [I don't cuss unless at rare times I really feel the situation warrants it and this clearly does].

The man we booked the cake with was not in the day we went in.  To their credit someone was kind enough to get back to us right away.  I explained the situation and the person who I booked the cake with did call me back about an hour later.  He tried to tell me I signed off on it and I explained that I did not.  The cake was booked over the phone.  I e mailed him the picture again and he said that on his monitor the stripes above and below the black look silver to him.  This shocked  me because at no time did I EVER look at that obviously PINK & BLACK cake in exhibit A and think that there was any Silver in it at all.  I know that colors on computers can vary so I'm not even going to get too upset about the fact that you could barely even tell the darn cake we got was pink because they made it so light but C'MON!  Even if the reflecting of the light off of the picture gives the illusion of very light Silver stripes on that example cake it still looks way different then the cake that was actually delivered to us.  HELLO!  BIG DIFFERENCE!!!  The stripes on the cake we got are DARK GREY not a subtle light silver and it looks way different then the picture we sent.  Can you tell I am angry?  Well I am and I think I have every right to be.  I didn't spend freakin' $425.00 on a cake for this company to get it wrong.  We did two other tastings and came back to them.  The most expensive of them all-because Mj preferred their flavors-and they turn out to be the bakery that screws it up.

In conversations with both representatives from the company they did allude to the possibility of offering us a store credit-NO THANK YOU-or a partial refund.  They did not admit to any wrong doing.  He claims that he thought we confirmed Silver and that there does appears to be Silver in the cake stripes-but that he is sorry that we didn't get what we wanted.  There isn't a refund big enough to make up for this error but there isn't really anything else that anyone can do.  The question is how much?  Obviously, we got a cake and fed our guests with it-as if we had any other choice-so I doubt they will give us a full refund.  Even though I don't think that would be too much to ask for.  I believe that this error is so egregious that even though I think 30% is somewhat reasonable I am going to ask for 60% and hope they agree to 50%.  I know it will pass but right now every time I look at the beautiful picture of what our cake should have looked like I get angry and that is a bummer.  I hate it that this cake thing is always going to be THERE as the one negative about our wedding day.

Continued......Cake Closure

Why Have A Wedding At All?

I'd get a call from a vendor regarding a balance due.   Like nothing I'd get my purse, whip out that Master Card and fork over a couple hundred bucks.  It became routine.  Between buying a house and the wedding we'd been throwing around money right and left and while it seemed so jaw dropping and overwhelming when we first started all this somehow I became desensitized.

While it is extremely important not to go overboard and spend outside your means I also don't think it makes sense to spend a dime at all if it's not at at least close to what you want.  I'd rather spend 10k and love my wedding then to spend 5K be disappointed and feel regret about spending even that much because I didn't get much of what I really wanted.  Even though there are moments when I feel that it is positively obscene to spend this much money on a party I have no regrets for these reasons: 

1. We really wanted a traditional wedding for ourselves and for our families.  We wanted to celebrate this amazing moment with everyone.  Weddings aren't free.  We knew it wasn't going to be cheap.  We knew we were going to be spending way more then we ever normally would on an event but we decided to do it anyways.
2. We balanced budget with our vision.  I know I did my very best on finding the best prices and getting what we could for our money.   I shopped around and just said no to things that were beyond our reach financially.  Even if it wasn't as elaborate as the wedding industry would have you believe it should be we stuck to what we can afford AND planned a wedding modeled after our vision of what we wanted our wedding to be.
3. We did not go into debt.  Everything was paid in cash and our wedding will not be hanging over our head financially at all.  Had we not been able to do this I'm not so sure how comfortable I would be with having had a wedding but fortunately we were able to.
4. Our wedding was something that I was proud of even on a budget.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  You can't half way do it once you make the decision to have a wedding.  If I am going to ask people to travel cross country I want to plan an event to make it worth their while.  Even if we could invite 80 guests inside the courthouse with the justice of the peace for a 15 minute ceremony for close to $0 dollars and call it a day I certainly wouldn't expect them to come so far just for that.  This might be different for every bride.
5. Our wedding brought family AND friends together.

The very best reason of all that I am glad we did this and one you can't necessarily put a price tag on is #5.  That weddings bring families together in a way in which under any other circumstances would probably not ever happen.  How many times in your life will you ever have a gathering (not counting funerals) like this that will bring both sides (let alone one side) of the family together all in one place? Probably never. Some families do have regular family reunions but most don't.  Who has time or money for it?  What other time will you spring for a party and invite your entire family and tons of friends to come?  Maybe NEVER! Most people can't justify spending even a couple thousand on a party-unless it's a wedding.  Maybe at some point you might have a 40th B Day bash or a retirement party blow out but even then no one goes to the extraordinary lengths to show up that they would for a wedding.  At the end of the day it was the people who were there sharing our marriage with us that made it all so special.  They became a part of our wedding experience and it was truly wonderful.

There is something so special and sacred about a wedding that makes it important enough that people will do what it takes and come from afar just they can just to be a part of it.   It's still not worth spending beyond your means but that alone is priceless and like our wedding a once in a lifetime occurrence.  I am so glad it's an experience that I did not have to miss out on.

Money & Weddings: What Kind Of Bride Are You?

How much to spend on a wedding may very well be one of the very first major money decisions a couple will make. I have identified four different approaches to wedding planning and spending.  Every couple probably falls into one of these categories or perhaps a combo of two depending on budget, the kind of wedding and how much it costs.

1. Elopers: Those who say to hell with it all and elope to a place like Hawaii, Vegas, or their local court house saving a boatload of money and time in the process.
2. Frugal Non Traditionalists: Those who buck all tradition. They save a ton of money and say screw the wedding industry. I'm going to cook my own food, wear a dress from Macy's and have my wedding in a converted barn. Not that those weddings can't be lovely but the time, man power and creativity and DIY projects it takes to pull it off right...well it's not for everybody.
3. Frugal Traditionalists: Couples who don't totally subscribe to the wedding industry machine and are doing it all or mostly on their own. They make sacrifices here so they can splurge a little there and pull off a traditional wedding to their liking while still managing to spend well under the national average which is $19,581 according to costofwedding.com.  The average for my city is between $20,651 and $34,419.
4. Platinum Partiers: Those who go ALL out and ALL traditional and beyond with a lot of bells and whistles spending loads of money in the process.  These folks spend at least or well above the national average and their weddings look like something out of a bridal magazine complete with themes and maybe even an ice sculpture or two.  They either simply have the money to spend, are receiving major financial help from family or are incurring large debt and stretching their budgets beyond all reason to accommodate their expensive desires.

Can you guess what category we fall into? Frugal Traditionalists all the way. My extreme budget conscious mind sometimes wished I were part of the Frugal non traditionalist category because this would have cost us much less but that just isn't us. We want what we want but are willing to make sacrifices in certain areas to make it happen within our budget. We are not really credit card people. Our cars are paid off and are credit card balances are typically paid off month to month. If we had to do all of this on credit cards then it means we can't afford it and I'm not quite certain if I would have felt comfortable doing that. But luckily, we will not start our married life in debt because we have paid cash for everything we had to buy for our house AND our wedding. Granted, a lot of cash that is gone and never coming back that probably could have been used for important things like shopping sprees or emergency savings, backyard landscaping or for who knows what in the future. We made the decision that having a traditional wedding while not essential was important enough for us to use it for this.