How We Traveled Europe on a Budget

I think sometimes we feel kind of weird about talking about how much we spent on things unless it was super cheap.  Like, if someone compliments you on your shirt you could proudly say, "Thanks, it was only $20," but what if it was $125?  Is it still okay to volunteer that information?  I wouldn't know because I've never spent that much on a shirt, but I have spent that much on jeans.  Now I'm going to tell you how much I spent on my first trip to Europe. 

When we decided on a European vacation in 2012, I was so nervous about how much it would cost.  I googled "average cost of European vacation" and a few sources said about $2,000 depending on where you go, how long you stay, and accommodation preferences, which didn't tell me much.  I fake booked possible flights and possible hotels for possible dates in possible cities, and the numbers scared me.  I wanted to experience that whole backpacking through Europe kind of thing...minus the backpack...because in general I travel with way too much stuff to make that work.  I wanted to be there for at least two weeks and see as many cities as possible, but how do I do that on a budget?

That's where Carnival Cruise Lines came in.

Airfare:
1 round trip ticket:  San Diego to Europe:  $1,026
1 one way ticket:  Barcelona to Paris $126
Total:  $1,152

Train:
1 ticket Thalys High Speed Paris to Amsterdam: $100
1 ticket CNL overnight train Amsterdam to Stuttgart:  $150  (doubled as hotel room that night)
Total: $250

Lodging:
7 nights Carnival Cruise Mediterranean Cruise (Double Occupancy):  $1,172  (total for 2 people!)
     *Ports of call-  SPAIN:  Barcelona, FRANCE: Toulon (Aix En Provence), Cannes, Livorno (Florence & Pisa)
     *ITALY:  Civitavecchia (Rome), Naples.
2 nights Barcelona:  $250  
2 nights Paris: $372
1 night Amsterdam $133
Total (12 nights Lodging for two people):  $1,927

Not included is excursions, food and drink for our non cruise days, and miscellaneous transportation expenses to get from point A to point B via train.  We mostly used trains, but I think there was one or two taxi's involved.  MJ is excellent at navigation so we didn't have to do a lot of the shore excursions which can be pricey.  We only did one, and it was because of a transportation strike on our Pisa and Italy day.  So the cost for one person (assuming hotel is split down the middle) was $1,402 for airfare (flying in from the West Coast)/transportation and $963 for 12 nights of lodging based on double occupancy accommodations for a grand total of $2,365.55 all in.  I know it sounds terribly expensive when you lay it out there like that, but the average cost per night for 13 nights lodging was $158 and we got to experience so much.  I still can't believe how much bang for our buck we got out of that cruise.

Carnival Cruise Ship

So this is how our trip went.  I flew from San Diego to Barcelona, MJ flew from Stuttgart to Barcelona (at a cost of $160 one way) and we met up at the airport.  We spent one night in Barcelona in a cheapie (but very clean and nice) hotel near the airport.  We spent seven nights on the cruise traveling from Spain, to France, to Italy, and then back to Spain.  The ship returns early so we had the day to explore Barcelona and spend one more night there, before hopping on an airplane to Paris for two nights.  We took a train from Paris to Amsterdam where we spent one night, and then an overnight train from Paris to Stuttgart.  We had to fly home out of Stuttgart because MJ was already there for work and that is where his round trip ticket originated from.  I suppose I could have left him in Amsterdam, but nope, I wanted to do that last leg on the overnight train with him and then fly home together.

Pisa, Italy

It was a whirlwind.  I'm exhausted just thinking about our crazy schedule.  It was insane.  Up early every day to make the most of the day before having to get back to the ship, then to bed as late as possible because we wanted to enjoy every minute that we could of our experience.  We felt it was in our best interest to make the most of the time we were over there, so we added Paris and Amsterdam after the cruise.  Yes, that meant more money, but the way I see it when it costs a cool G to get somewhere I want to stay there as long as I possibly can.  When we traveled on our own after the cruise we didn't have to be back at the ship at a certain time and it was nice to have a little bit more time to meander the last four nights before catching the overnight train to Stuttgart.  It was basically a quick hits tour of Europe.  We didn't have time to just be in most of our destinations, but I loved that trip so much, and as go, go, go as it was I have no regrets about doing it that way.  We were able to visit four countries (not counting Germany because I only saw the train station and the airport) and ten cities.  Food for most of the trip was taken care of.

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Do I want to travel that way again?  Maybe.  Preferably a cruise with less involved ports of call like the islands of Bermuda or the Bahamas.  The kind of places where you want to sit at the beach all day or explore a small village.  However, if you are trying to get to Europe and you need to do it on a budget I would still recommend a cruise.  It was a wonderful experience and a wonderful way to see a lot of Europe, but it did get me craving the experience of spending more time in those places.  I already knew I wanted to go back to Rome because Rome wasn't built in a day and we found out very quickly that it can't be fully explored in one either.  I knew I'd want to go back to Paris because Paris in October can be chilly and rainy.  We didn't have time for the Palace of Versailles, or the opportunity to bask in the glory that is the Eiffel Tower as much as I wanted to.  It's a huge city and I want to see more.  We got our second chance at Rome, over Thanksgiving and we will be going back to Paris.

Our biggest family vacation was Ensenada, Mexico.  We visited family in Michigan and Northern California.  We didn't fly anywhere, and now that I'm older I know why.  It's damn expensive to fly a family anywhere, let alone pay for accommodations.  Families who can still afford to travel are very fortunate.

As an adult my first vacations consisted of road trips to Las Vegas.  Then short cruises, often including my own city as a port of call!  My older sister and I did two of those together, and it was great.  Time away is time away, and we had fun together.  My next biggest vacation was a 7 day cruise in the Caribbean.  I was attracted to the one stop shop package deal that even allows you to book in advance and make payments.  It was a good way for me to dip my toes into traveling without having to spend too much.  I was that person who would travel to Las Vegas, but eat Subway and Panda Express while I was there to save money.  I'm the one who insisted we eat as many meals as possible on ship.  My husband is a heck of a lot more liberal than I when it comes to spending on vacation.  I've had to come a little more towards his side because he is not about nickel and diming his way through a vacation.  

Our Oahu honeymoon in 2010  was my first non road trip non cruise vacation after a very long vacation drought, and I've been hooked ever since.  Every vacation since is right here on this blog and it brings me so much joy to go back and read the posts.  I must have a vacation planned at all times, and I've been lucky enough for that to be the case pretty consistently since then.  There was that stretch of time after our second time to Oahu last October when I had nothing planned.  I went to Germany last minute for Thanksgiving, and when I came back there was another lull in the vacation planning.  Everything was up in the air with MJ being out of the country for the year, but  I am knee deep in vacation planning mode and will finally get to check that one place off my bucket list I've been dreaming of for a while.  I have something to live for again!! Only partly joking, because when I'm in that day to day grind of work, eat, sleep, having a vacation to look forward to means a lot.

Paris, France

After last years girls trip to Vegas, some of my friends were saying that we should plan a trip someplace further.  Some place international.  I didn't say no, but I never agreed, and eventually I had to say that I'm not available to do those kinds of trips.  I felt a little bad, but the thing is, my husband and I love to travel.  I can't commit to taking trips with them, because I don't have the time or the resources to do it all.  I wish I did! I would be agreeable to a cruise or some other shorter domestic trip, but my husband is my ultimate travel partner and I really want to experience those places with him.  I'm the only married woman in the group, but I think they understand.

If you don't enjoy traveling.  Congratulations! You are saving money.  But if you do, then figure out a way to get out there and see the world.  White sand beaches, turquoise waters, lush rain forests, grand cathedrals, cobblestone streets....there is so much beauty to be discovered and I can't seem to get enough.  I don't even even want to know the grand total of what we've spent on our vacations.  I also don't really care that much.  I care, because I'm wired to be frugal, but I also don't care because it was worth every penny. 

Related:
Europe:  4 Countries, 10 Cities, 15 Days
The Cost of Vegas  

 
Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram

How Much it Costs to Feed Me

I have a thing for numbers.  Not math.  I hate math.  I suck at math, but when it comes to creating budgets I'm good at it and I'm fascinated (although sometimes disturbed) with knowing how much things cost.  Now that my normal meal plan has been firmly established for well over a year, I thought it would be interesting to see exactly how much it costs to feed me.  I've heard people say that eating healthy is not expensive, but I've never believed them.  Whole foods are not cheap, and when was the last time you saw a coupon for a bag of apples or a pack of meat?  Yes, those things do go on sale, but you will never find 3rd party coupons for them the way you do for things like Zatarain's rice and pasta dinner mix or Aunt Millie's hamburger buns. I got a thick coupon book from McDonald's in the mail full of the usual burgers and deep fried chicken, but they couldn't be bothered to include a single coupon for one of their premium salads.

This list of foods and prices were collected from several receipts over a period of months, and is a comprehensive listing of everything I meal prep and eat on a daily basis.  When I say everything, I mean everything.  My shopping list is saved as a note in my phone and it rarely changes. I eat out on Friday night and Saturday night always.  I'm sorry, but ground turkey and broccoli while I watch my Friday night movie does not cut it.  I don't mind eating the same thing every week, but I have my limits.  I might take a week off here and there, but for the most part I meal prep every week, and this is what I've been eating for the last year and a half. Same old, same old because I'm just not that into cooking. 

Fats
Peanut Butter (40oz):  $5.48  --$1.27 per week
Almonds (@6.99 per lb): $9.50  --$3.05 per week
Weekly Total:  $4.32

Carbs
Whole Wheat Tortilla (12 ct): $2.46  --$1.43 per week
100% Whole Wheat Bread (8oz/18 slices): $2.96-$3.42--$2.66 per week (I eat 5 days per week .95)
Ezekial Bread 4:9 (24oz/20 slices): $4.99  --$3.49 per week (I eat this weekends only $1.50)
Fiber 1 Cereal (16oz): $3.74  --.87 per week
Weekly Total:  $4.75

Protein
Ground Turkey 93/7 (48 oz): $8.96
Boneless Chicken Breast (2.0 lbs @1.98 lb): $9.51 or
Boneless Chicken Tenders (2.0 lbs @4.95 lb): $7.18 x 2 or
Boneless Chicken Tenders (1.25 lbs): $4.95 x 2
Weekly Total:  $23.32

Fruits & Vegetables
Green Onions: $1.18  --0.59 per week
Frozen Bell Pepper Strips (14 oz): $2.18  --$1.09 per week
Broccoli (2.4 lbs@1.26 lb): $3.02
Shredded Carrots: $1.67  --0.84 per week
Baby Carrots (32 oz): $2.34  --$3.07 per week
Apple (@.97 per lb): $2.33  --$2.76 per week
Weekly Total:  $11.37  

Dairy
Skim Milk (1/2 Gallon): $1.67  --0.84 per week
Fage Total 0% Yogurt (35 oz): $5.98  --$9.57 per week
Weekly Total:  $10.41

Coffee
Stevia (80 ct):  $3.96  --$1.04 per week (I also use this in my Fage)
Creamer (16 oz): $3.18  --0.74 per week
K-Cup (72ct): $35.00 --$3.43 per week
Weekly Total:  $5.21*
*I only use K cups on weekends because coffee is free at work so actual expense is closer to .98 weekly, but I do occasionally stop for $1.25 coffee at 7-11 so I did not adjust.

Wine o'clock: 1 bottle $4.97

Total Spent Weekly $64.35
Total Spent Monthly $257.40

The weekly and monthly totals do not include sales tax.  They also do not include cinnamon to sweeten my Fage or the spices, reduced sodium soy sauce, and reduced sodium Worcestershire sauce ($3.42) that I use to season my meat. It does not include Reduced Fat Ritz Crackers ($1.98) and Pretzels ($1.98) which I like to keep on hand to snack on from time to time.  I almost didn't include my wine because it's not even food, but lets get real, I'm pretty consistent about my weekly wine habit, so even though it might make me look like a wino it made sense to add. 

I know these numbers to be true because I am that person who know exactly how many ounces of everything I eat and can tell you exactly how many ounces are in a pound or how many grams make an ounce without looking it up.  The only thing I did not calculate based on the exact portion size is creamer and peanut butter.  I just eye ball it.  I divided those prices by 30 days because I think I have to replace them about once a month or so.

What this tells me is that eating healthy isn't cheap, at least I don't think it is.  Minus the coffee accoutrements and the wine this is the cost for a healthy diet consisting of 100% whole foods.  Processed food tends to be more expensive.  Right?  So I imagine that my bill would be even higher if I those were a big part of my purchases.

I saved so much money when I didn't eat.  I will never go back to that, but sadly it's true.  It's also sad that I don't even know if I could have afforded $250 a month for groceries back then.  I may have, but it would have been so tight.  I didn't know how to eat properly back then, but even if I had wanted to I'm sure that I would have been put off by how much it costs.

The numbers also tell me that although I did a pretty good job of estimating, I may be a bit under on our joint grocery budget.  When I did Whole30 it cost $520.00 for me alone for 30 days!  I was floored.  After that, I increased our budget from $350 to $500 because we were making changes in our diets and I realized that $350 was not realistic.  If it takes $250 just to feed me, it definitely costs a more to feed my husband because he eats a lot more protein.  He changes his meal plans up a little bit more than I do, but when he returns home it will be interesting to calculate exactly how much it costs to feed him.  And we may have to increase our budget.  Ugh. 

 So how do I stack up? Am I spending too much?

The IRS National Standard for monthly food expense is $345 for 1, $612 for 2, and $737 for 3.  According to the official USDA Food Plan, Thrifty is $164.20, Low-Cost is $207.50, Moderate is $256.30 and Liberal is $327.10 monthly for a female of my age.  For a male & female family of two our $500 budget puts us between low cost and liberal.  According to this Gallup poll from 2012 the American family reports spending an average of $604 per month. In San Diego County a household can qualify for up to $194 for 1, $357 for 2, and $511 per month for 3 through the SNAP government assistance program.

Sometimes when I go through the check out and my total is $85.00, I'm shocked because I realize just how expensive it is to keep yourself fed, and that doesn't even include keeping yourself housed and clothed.  But what else can I do to spend less? 

Giving up coffee and wine isn't an option.

There are probably a few swaps I could make, but overall the cost of whole foods is the cost of whole foods and there isn't much I can do about it.  I buy Ezekiel Bread and Almonds in bulk at Sprouts.  I shop at my Neighborhood Walmart for everything else because it's close to home and cheap.  I am sure the totals would be much higher if I shopped at Ralph's or Von's.  I admit, Ezekiel bread is kind of a luxury item. Fage is pricey, but it's the best.  Regular carrots are probably cheaper, but baby carrots taste so much better.  The biggest swap I could (and probably should make) is to stick with the whole chicken breasts instead of the pre-cut tenders.  It bothers me that I am paying so much more just because I don't have to cut it, but raw meat is gross, and it's easier to have it done for me.  Those thick breasts take so much longer to cook and I got so sick of eating them that way.  I refuse to buy more than two at a time and since it's just me, I'm allowing myself to do it.  Also, since it's just me I don't feel the need to splurge on a "nice" bottle of wine. 

How do you stack up when it comes to your grocery expenses?  Do tell.  I'm fascinated.

 
Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram

Happy Hour or Bust

Most of the time a chair is just a chair and a table is just a table.  It's there.  You sit in it.  You eat at it.  You don't really think about it all that much.  But when you are in a club or a bar setting a chair is not just a chair and a table is not just a table.  It's turf.  And the competition to control them is fierce.

When the husband told me he wanted to go to Truluck's Seafood, Steaks & Crab House for his Birthday dinner my first thought was damn!  That place is really expensive and he wants to go there again?  They don't even have a parking lot so right off the top that's $8 for valet.  My second thought was if that's what my sweet husband wants then that's what he will get.  My third thought was that we had better make happy hour.   Happy hour is from 5-7 and we got there at 6pm.  I had a back up reservation for 7:15pm if the unthinkable happened and we didn't get a seat in the bar area but I was determined not to need it.  When I walked in I was on a mission.  Happy hour or bust.

It was Friday so the bar area was jam packed.  We joined the ranks of the lost souls floating around without tables.  On my way back from the bathroom I saw 3 people swoop in and grab seats on Mj's watch.  Mj, you gottta be on the look out!  So I'm standing there cutting my eyes left and right looking to see if anyone was wrapping up their meal or if a waitress was bringing anyone their bill.  Another couple happened to be standing near a table where people were leaving and they swooped in and stole that one.  Darn.

A girl walks in glued to her cell phone.  She stalks around scouting for a spot.  She was in the right place at the right time and even though we were there before her she snags two seats at the bar.  Timing  and location is everything when you are competing for bar real estate.  We stand around some more.  By this time it's 6:35pm.

We were standing behind this couple at the bar that looked like they'd been there for a while but she looked a little too cozy and he had barely made a dent in his beer.  They weren't going anywhere.  Another couple wearing black walked in and started trolling the bar.  I'm not the pushy type but I  couldn't let them snatch the next table from us.  My wallet was depending on it.  The couple behind us seemed to be wrapping it up so even though I could see the guy in the black suit pretty close to the table with the same idea I spoke up before he could and asked if they were leaving.  Black suit didn't go away so the girl pointed at us and said she thought we were there first.  His wife did not look happy that they didn't get the table but I told him.  Sorry, we've been looking for a spot since 6.  That table was ours.  And just in time because we had 25 minutes left of happy hour.  The waitress has seen physical fights break out over tables.  I believe it.  I've seen similar situations at other places and my friends and I have been known to be very possessive of "our" chairs.  I'm so glad I didn't have to fight.  Not that I would have.

I cancelled my 7:15 pm reservation on Open Table and ordered sliders, sweet potato fries and two glasses of champagne at 50% off bar menu happy hour prices.  Those are literally the only things I even liked on the whole menu.  Everything else was seafood.  Mj can have his $39 seafood trio in Bearnaise sauce off the dinner menu.  I'm a cheap date.  He's not.  His taste is expensive.  He claims he just likes "good" food and I guess I don't.  I have the palate of a 10 year old.  I don't need a $25 fillet when I'm just as happy with bar food, a simple grilled chicken or a good Cobb salad.  I enjoy eating out I just don't need anything fancy which usually means expensive.  But I don't like chain restaurants either.  The prices are good there are just too many other fun restaurants to explore in our city.

Once we got settled into prime real estate we had a really nice dinner.  I love the ambiance at this place.  When I'm not stalking people for their table that is.  The mouthwash dispenser in the bathroom is pretty cool but they also have a live singer and really great decor.  And they have the best sliders AND sweet potato fries I've ever had.   I took my husband out on a date.  He got his "good" food, I got my budget friendly eats and a good time was had by all.

 

Blogging is Bad for Your Budget

Being part of the blogging world is so informative.   You get to see all kinds of things that people are wearing and buying and doing.  We post Christmas wish lists that makes others wish for it too and exchange ideas on home decor, beauty products and fashion just to name a few.  Blogging is great and all but it can be bad for your budget and I have a hard trail of evidence to prove it starting with what happened in December. 

Exhibit A:

Back in December I saw this Holiday wish list posted on Brown Girl blogs that included Tom's Wedge Booties.  So what did I do?  Within hours I ran to my computer and ordered them from Nordstrom's.  I also saw blue chambray shirts on lots of wish lists so I wanted that too but luckily I got that from Mj for Christmas.  Or you can bet I probably would have been out buying that too!

Well, once I had a cute pair of wedge booties in beige of course I had to have a pair in black.  So what did I do?  Within days I'd done my research and and ordered these Etienne Aigner black suede wedge booties on Amazon.

Exhibit B:

And sadly, it doesn't end there for me.  Not only that, but I dragged my fellow bloggers along with me for the ride.  I'd been wanting a striped cotton blazer for a while.  They were wearing them all over Europe when we were there and I was silly enough not to buy one.  After I got home I searched and searched but couldn't find one in any stores.  I gave up, but seeing Brittany's over at Fun With the Fullwoods looking so good in hers refueled the fire.  Isn't she pretty?  By the way this woman had a baby not too long ago.  Anyways, thanks to Brittany I had to continue my search.

So what did I do next?  In January I googled it and found them at Old Navy for a great price.  I thought about it for exactly one day then went there and snatched up the last size small.  Faith at Life, Love & Marriage posted this cute outfit with a striped blazer she saw on another blog so I knew she wanted one too.  It was my blogger duty to tell her  about it so I e mailed her and what did she do?  Within days she ordered it online.  Here we are in our must have striped cotton blazers styled in two totally different ways.

Top: Express // Blazer:  Old Navy 
Jeans:  Joe's Jeans // Boots:  Aldo

Too bad Mj noticed that the sensor tag was still on it when he took these pics.  Thank goodness I'd stuffed the receipt in the pocket so when I finally went back they knew I hadn't stolen it.  I also noticed that I forgot to put on a belt and that these other ladies are miles ahead of me as fashion bloggers.  Good thing I'm not a fashion blogger, but still; I need to work on my skills.

Faith- Top: Alloy// blazer: Old Navy  // Necklace & Earrings: F21 //
Jeans: Old Navy // Shoes: Zara's

How cute does she look? I love the way she styled it with pink shoes and rolled up the sleeves. A big thanks to her and her photographer husband for braving the snow for these shots. It just dawned on me that she came down with pneumonia not too long after these shots were taken. She's all better now thank goodness.  I hope this photo shoot didn't bring it on.  Oh the sacrifices we make for blogging.

 Exhibit C:

The story of woe continues.  While I was in Old Navy getting that striped cotton blazer I saw the gingham shirts that everyone in blog land has been rocking lately.  I told myself I wasn't shopping anymore, well except for that cotton blazer that got me there in the first place, so I didn't get it.  Then, I saw this post over at Because Shanna Said So about buying the black and white gingham she finally found at Old Navy after an exhaustive search.

I stayed strong and told myself I didn't need it but it was Emily's post at The Sweetest Thing that pushed me over the edge; and I quote. I own gingham button-downs in several colors because of the versatility. They are layering essentials, they look great alone, and they are multi-seasonal.  Well clearly Emily was telling me that I should go back for the black gingham.  I commented on her post that I'd probably be going back to Old Navy to get one in black and white.  She emailed me back that she didn't know they had them there.  I think that might be the one color she didn't have!  Well, it's a good thing I told her because within days she posted this pic.  And she's posted this shirt styled in two other amazing ways since this post.  Can you believe that I haven't even worn mine yet? But I will.

And here is Shanna rocking her black and white Gingham.  I'm learning from the best apparently.  This girl is so fashionable that she's in the running to be the first official US Wallis Blogger Ambassador.  She's in 1st place!  You can vote for her here. 

Source: becauseshannasaidso.blogspot.com  via Cece on Pinterest 

And that my friends is how blogging is bad for your budget.  I do believe the evidence that I have presented speaks for itself and proves that this kind of domino shopping effect is absolutely sweeping the blog world.  You better watch out.  Those fashion bloggers are dangerous!

Exhibit D:

You!!!

See anything you like here?  Who knows who's posting what tomorrow.  I hate to say it but there is an excellent chance that you have already fallen victim to blogging budget busting or that you will be next.  In fact, I've been struck again.  I bought some red skinny jeans two weeks ago...something I would have never considered even buying before!  Thanks again Shanna!  All I can say is DON'T break the bank and DO exercise some measure of self control. As much as we'd like to we can't buy everything! I love checking out blogger fashions as opposed to fashion magazines or runways because it's much more accessible and realistically presented to me.  Their influence has inspired quite a few shopping episodes but as long as I'm only spending what I can afford that's okay.  It's fun to like what I see in my closet and get excited about getting dressed.  I will never be a fashionista like some of these ladies but I think my wardrobe choices have definitely improved since I've started blogging and I like that...even if my bank account doesn't!

Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram

Credit Card Craziness

I was watching some really bad TV on VH1, Mafia Wives to be exact, while I was on the elliptical at the gym and I saw a commercial for the RUSH card.  It's this pre paid Visa being offered by Russell Simmons.  Your tax return or paycheck can be deposited directly onto the card.  You can also add money to it at any time.  At the end he says that he created this card so that everyone can have access to the American Dream.  I couldn't help but laugh.  What a crock.  Credit cards have mostly been a nightmare for people not a dream.  And how is depositing my paycheck onto this card going to get me any further then where I am right now?  If Russell were planning to add some of his stockpile of money to it then I might understand but if I only make $500 a month and I deposit it onto this Visa I still only make $500 a month.  What more is that going to get me?  OK, so I can rent a car now and reserve a hotel room but I doubt that has anything to do with the American Dream.

I just thought it was funny that he made this big global statement about this card  and the American dream in one breath.  I get it that it will help people build credit but it really is a huge leap especially when the credit reporting that is supposed to help you build your credit is only done by "participating" agencies.  So then I couldn't help but wonder, what does the company get out of this because you know there has to be a money making angle in there somewhere.  Could they possibly be charging interest to use your own money?  Well, the answer is no but the fee schedule attached this card is longer and more complicated then any I've ever seen for a credit card or bank.  If you get the basic card your monthly fee is only $3.95 but if you get the BabyPhat Rushcard design-no I'm not making this up-it's $14.95 per month.  Depending on what plan you choose you are basically charged for everything for things like simply using it.  There are fees per transaction.  You are charged for getting a replacement if you lose it and depending on your plan there is a monthly maintenance fee on top of the initial monthly fee.  They charge you to enroll in bill pay then a monthly fee to use it.  The only thing that is totally free is getting your online statement.  If you decide you want paper it's $1.00 per month.  Now you know a lot of people will not look at this monstrous fee schedule and then they will wonder where all of their money is disappearing to and probably be surprised at how quickly all those little fees add up.   

I on the other hand don't have to settle for a RushCard.  I got the invitation I've been waiting for my whole life.  The coveted and rare Visa Black card.  Yep, little old me.  It came in this thick black fancy envelope.  Did you know that only a very small percentage of the population is considered worthy enough to have it?  Well, the interest rate wasn't bad for these times at 14.99 % but still not anything I want to pay out on purchases.   If that wasn't enough to make me say forget it then the $495 yearly fee was.  That's an airline ticket.  I'd rather buy that then pay a yearly fee for a card that provides me with concierge services and airport lounge services that I would rarely even have the chance to use.  Besides that, I hate debt.  Clearly it's for rich folks but thanks anyways.

I had no job and no credit history but I was handed my first credit card in college.  For some odd reason I wanted the ugly Bart Simpson T-Shirt with the Visa logo they were giving away for free and thought it would be cool to have some plastic. I was practical enough not to use it much and have never been in any kind of major credit card debt.  I hate having lingering debt and I hate paying interest.  It adds onto the purchase price so that if I got a killer deal on something that interest just eats it up.  I paid cash for my car and if there was any way on earth I could've done the same for our house I would have.  We paid cash for our wedding, everything we furnished our house with and all of our little home improvement projects.  I have never allowed myself to overspend beyond my means.   I'm a saver not a spender and I was basically born that way.  If it's a big purchase and I don't have the money  I'll use the cards and try to take advantage of balance transfer offers to minimize interest with the plan of paying it off quickly.   One purchase at a time.  I use my Discover card for daily use and pay it off monthly so I can rack up points.  It's great for my credit too.  This works well if you know your budget and have the restraint to stick to it.  I've had up to $150 in cash back bonuses at one time which I save to use as spending money on trips and Mj and I got hundreds off of our Hawaii plane tickets because of accumulated points.  I'd much rather make money off of them and not let them get a dime out of me! 

May kicked my butt financially.  Patio Furniture, new glasses, and Mother's Day.  Big Sis B Day and Mj's B Day.  I bought him an i Pad-enough said!  Then there was the car registration and our San Francisco trip.  All that along with my seemingly uncontrollable urge to shop happened at once.  So this month I'm only paying off my statement balance and not the entire actual balance, which still won't cost me any interest because bill close was the 10th.  I busted my budget which I usually don't do but hey, it's bound to happen some times.  I'll let a bit roll over into next month and pay it off then.  Credit cards can be evil if abused but they can be your friend if used properly.  The cards can establish the credit needed to get houses and cars but if you get out of hand and abuse them you'll have a lot of stuff but not much of anything else.

Like A Woman Possessed

Like a woman possessed I got into my car on my lunch break and drove to DSW.  A couple weeks ago it was The Limited to update my work pants and about a week later I went to Express with a coupon and got some really cute cotton fashion tees.  And now this.  I don't know what's gotten into me but I'd be lying if I said I'm not enjoying it.  I am not typically a habitual shopper but for the third time this month I found myself doing just that.  I LOVE DSW shoes and I walked out with not one, not two, but three pairs!  What initially brought me in there was the desire need to replace a pair of my tan wedge slides that Mj sort of teases me about wearing because quite frankly, they are ugly.  There was a day I thought they were cute but that day has long since been done and gone.  It is not uncommon for me to wear ugly items of clothing hanging around my wardrobe simply because I need to wear them with certain outfits and have nothing else to replace it.  Terrible I know, but due to financial considerations sometimes budget trumps fashion and like it or not that's just the way it goes.

My shoe shopping haul-all on clearance at DSW

So, getting back to my DSW trip.  I checked out the regular priced area and didn't see much so I went back to the clearance section and instead of two rows of last season's rejects I was pleasantly surprised at the huge selection they had in big foot size.  Which is a 10.  I found a perfect replacement for my ugly tan shoes in a 9.5 for $35.98.  Thank goodness they fit and they are so comfortable.  The heel height is perfect for me.  I can wear them to work and I'll even want to wear them on the weekends.  Then, I also found a pair of basic Guess black flip flops for $14.96 which I also feel justified in purchasing because I need a pair for my honeymoon.  Now the third pair.  Well, the only justification I can come up for those is that comfort is very important to me.  There was no way I could pass up these comfortable soft leather moccasin like yet extremely adorable flats.  I have lusted after similar flats before.  These are B Makowki's and apparently they use really fine leather which must be why they are so comfortable.  They were originally $89.94 but like the other two, 40% off so I got them for $59.94.   I have a pair of bronze flats that I will likely chuck in favor of these.  They aren't very comfortable but I wore them anyhow because it's the only pair I had in that color.

The lady in line before me insisted on removing all shoes from the boxes so she could place them discreetly in a bag to hide her shopping from her husband.  I thought that was funny.  I know she isn't the only woman out there shopping on the down low.  I on the other hand excitedly rush into the house and share my purchases with my husband.  He actually gets excited for me when I shop because he knows how often I deny myself things that I want and/or need.

This is new territory for someone who used to make a sport of denying myself simple pleasures and I have to say it feels good.   Almost exactly a year ago I went shopping and practically had a nervous breakdown.  I became filled with dread over what I had done.  My friend and I wore our new boots out of the store so I couldn't take them back.  Mj was overseas at the time and when I told him I bought a pair of Uggs I was so upset I burst into tears.  I smashed every bit of joy out of getting something nice for myself.  Which is ridiculous because I save religiously and have been since I was 16.  In lean times it may not have been much but saving has always been a top priority and I certainly know how to do without when the money isn't there.  I don't have credit card debt and I take care of bills first.  I work hard dammit!  I need to allow myself to enjoy things.  Within reason of course.  Which it is because I am still under the monthly budget that I set for myself.  I will not be buying a Louis Vuitton Purse and Anthropologie is still mostly out of the question but a trip to Macy's where I buy a few things or heaven forbid a $140 pair of boots should never feel like the end of the world.  I know when to stop.

Budget is the determining factor for everything.  I may not like it but I accept that I must live within my means weather I like those means or not.  It's been an expensive year.  Planning a wedding, turning my condo into a rental property, and buying a house took priority over everything else.  We still have our honeymoon and next thing you know it'll be Christmas.  After years of shopping with anxiety, many moons of being on total shopping lock down, and more recently shopping just for the house I am finally shopping for me AND enjoying it.  It's about time and I love it!!

Why Have A Wedding At All?

I'd get a call from a vendor regarding a balance due.   Like nothing I'd get my purse, whip out that Master Card and fork over a couple hundred bucks.  It became routine.  Between buying a house and the wedding we'd been throwing around money right and left and while it seemed so jaw dropping and overwhelming when we first started all this somehow I became desensitized.

While it is extremely important not to go overboard and spend outside your means I also don't think it makes sense to spend a dime at all if it's not at at least close to what you want.  I'd rather spend 10k and love my wedding then to spend 5K be disappointed and feel regret about spending even that much because I didn't get much of what I really wanted.  Even though there are moments when I feel that it is positively obscene to spend this much money on a party I have no regrets for these reasons: 

1. We really wanted a traditional wedding for ourselves and for our families.  We wanted to celebrate this amazing moment with everyone.  Weddings aren't free.  We knew it wasn't going to be cheap.  We knew we were going to be spending way more then we ever normally would on an event but we decided to do it anyways.
2. We balanced budget with our vision.  I know I did my very best on finding the best prices and getting what we could for our money.   I shopped around and just said no to things that were beyond our reach financially.  Even if it wasn't as elaborate as the wedding industry would have you believe it should be we stuck to what we can afford AND planned a wedding modeled after our vision of what we wanted our wedding to be.
3. We did not go into debt.  Everything was paid in cash and our wedding will not be hanging over our head financially at all.  Had we not been able to do this I'm not so sure how comfortable I would be with having had a wedding but fortunately we were able to.
4. Our wedding was something that I was proud of even on a budget.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  You can't half way do it once you make the decision to have a wedding.  If I am going to ask people to travel cross country I want to plan an event to make it worth their while.  Even if we could invite 80 guests inside the courthouse with the justice of the peace for a 15 minute ceremony for close to $0 dollars and call it a day I certainly wouldn't expect them to come so far just for that.  This might be different for every bride.
5. Our wedding brought family AND friends together.

The very best reason of all that I am glad we did this and one you can't necessarily put a price tag on is #5.  That weddings bring families together in a way in which under any other circumstances would probably not ever happen.  How many times in your life will you ever have a gathering (not counting funerals) like this that will bring both sides (let alone one side) of the family together all in one place? Probably never. Some families do have regular family reunions but most don't.  Who has time or money for it?  What other time will you spring for a party and invite your entire family and tons of friends to come?  Maybe NEVER! Most people can't justify spending even a couple thousand on a party-unless it's a wedding.  Maybe at some point you might have a 40th B Day bash or a retirement party blow out but even then no one goes to the extraordinary lengths to show up that they would for a wedding.  At the end of the day it was the people who were there sharing our marriage with us that made it all so special.  They became a part of our wedding experience and it was truly wonderful.

There is something so special and sacred about a wedding that makes it important enough that people will do what it takes and come from afar just they can just to be a part of it.   It's still not worth spending beyond your means but that alone is priceless and like our wedding a once in a lifetime occurrence.  I am so glad it's an experience that I did not have to miss out on.

Money & Weddings: What Kind Of Bride Are You?

How much to spend on a wedding may very well be one of the very first major money decisions a couple will make. I have identified four different approaches to wedding planning and spending.  Every couple probably falls into one of these categories or perhaps a combo of two depending on budget, the kind of wedding and how much it costs.

1. Elopers: Those who say to hell with it all and elope to a place like Hawaii, Vegas, or their local court house saving a boatload of money and time in the process.
2. Frugal Non Traditionalists: Those who buck all tradition. They save a ton of money and say screw the wedding industry. I'm going to cook my own food, wear a dress from Macy's and have my wedding in a converted barn. Not that those weddings can't be lovely but the time, man power and creativity and DIY projects it takes to pull it off right...well it's not for everybody.
3. Frugal Traditionalists: Couples who don't totally subscribe to the wedding industry machine and are doing it all or mostly on their own. They make sacrifices here so they can splurge a little there and pull off a traditional wedding to their liking while still managing to spend well under the national average which is $19,581 according to costofwedding.com.  The average for my city is between $20,651 and $34,419.
4. Platinum Partiers: Those who go ALL out and ALL traditional and beyond with a lot of bells and whistles spending loads of money in the process.  These folks spend at least or well above the national average and their weddings look like something out of a bridal magazine complete with themes and maybe even an ice sculpture or two.  They either simply have the money to spend, are receiving major financial help from family or are incurring large debt and stretching their budgets beyond all reason to accommodate their expensive desires.

Can you guess what category we fall into? Frugal Traditionalists all the way. My extreme budget conscious mind sometimes wished I were part of the Frugal non traditionalist category because this would have cost us much less but that just isn't us. We want what we want but are willing to make sacrifices in certain areas to make it happen within our budget. We are not really credit card people. Our cars are paid off and are credit card balances are typically paid off month to month. If we had to do all of this on credit cards then it means we can't afford it and I'm not quite certain if I would have felt comfortable doing that. But luckily, we will not start our married life in debt because we have paid cash for everything we had to buy for our house AND our wedding. Granted, a lot of cash that is gone and never coming back that probably could have been used for important things like shopping sprees or emergency savings, backyard landscaping or for who knows what in the future. We made the decision that having a traditional wedding while not essential was important enough for us to use it for this.

Wedding Sticker Shock

The Date: July 10, 2010
The Colors: Black & PASTEL PINK
Guest Count:  75
Location:  Hotel


Wedding Event-Day Of
Food & Beverage pkg w/Cocktail Hour: $5,338.00
Hosted Beverages: $888.00
DJ & Up lighting: $700.00
Photographer: $1,625.00
Officiant: $0 [ordain a friend]
Ceremony Venue Fee: $1,190.00

Cake: $421.25
Flowers: $447.73
Chair Covers: $233.70

DIY Centerpieces: $80.00

Guest Favors: $80.00

Place Cards: $57.00
Ceremony Arch Dressing: $100.00

Guest Parking: $115.00
Total: $11,275.68

Accessories/Extra Items
Invitations/RSVP: $189.60
Bridal Party Gifts: $90.00

Rehearsal Dinner: ($438.00) [gift from 'rents]

Mani/Pedi: $50.00

Hair: $85.00

Bridal Party Make Up Artist: ($350.00)[Gift from mom]

Total: Actual-$1202.60,  Our cost- $414.60 

Wardrobe
Wedding Dress:$491.00
Dress Alterations: $224.00

Bride Shoes:$32.00
Jewelry:  $0 [passed down from grandma]
Groom Tuxedo:$0 [free w/5 paid rentals]
Total: $747.00

We got generous cash wedding gifts from Mj's mom, grandma, and aunt which we deposited into our joint savings.  Budget wise I think I did well keeping things in check so my sticker shock is not all that shocking which is a very good thing.  I shopped around and said no to things that didn't fit the budget.  Tax of 8.75 and gratuity at a whopping 19 percent cut into the budget big time so i had to consider that as well.  Looking at my list of expenses I can definitely see areas where I could have cut costs.  We didn't have to spend $800 on hosted beverages.  We could have got cheaper invitations or settled for the slightly less tasty but probably just as beautiful [and ideally the right color] $325 cake.  The guest list could have been cut in half.  I could have settled for a much cheaper dress.  We could have had a wedding luncheon with no DJ or hors dourves only and no sit down dinner.  We could have had it at a park and hired a local restaurant to cater the food.  Heck, we could've just had a BBQ right?  There are all kinds of things we could have done differently but to do so would have compromised what we wanted way too much.  I also see tons of areas where we could have indulged and added on thousands easy but didn't.  

That being said, our my goal was a nice neat $10,000 not including wardrobe, grooming, honeymoon, rings etc. for day of items central to carrying out the wedding on the day itself.  That was what I shot for but all the while I knew that it would still be OK if we finished somewhere in the $11's.  I may have had doubts before but AFTER wedding I can honestly say without question it was worth every penny.  I am so glad that I didn't over obsess on or spend extra money on budget busting items that I really wanted but could live without because when it came down to it none of that really mattered.  Did my vows mean any less or did I have less fun because I didn't have fresh flower centerpieces?  Nope!  It's more about the vows, the people, and the energy of the event then anything else.  The rest really is "just details."  Even having the wrong cake didn't spoil the magic of my day and that is a really important element.  Would I have preferred to have the cake I ordered that matched my colors?  Yes, but the show must and did go on.  Thank goodness I didn't feel compelled to spend 20K or even 15K! If we had of course it would have been more grand and extravagant but once you get to a certain threshold I don't think that extra expenditure of money is going to enhance your core wedding experience that much more.  I had an AMAZING wedding on 11K.  It's definitely possible!

All of those things that many brides obsess over don't matter as much as you think they will.  I do believe that it is important to get most of what you want though-whatever that is.  It's still your party and there is no point in doing it at all if it isn't going to be something you want.  You just have to find a balance.

I'm Not Made Of Money

But it would sure be a heck of a lot easier if I was.

I'm struggling a bit with this rehearsal dinner concept. What if we just went out to a restaurant and had everyone pay for their own dinner because we were simply tapped out financially? Not an option. We definitely want to treat our wedding party as a show of appreciation to them. To complicate matters there are out of town folks not part of the rehearsal that might want to come socialize with us before the big day. Can we pay for some and not all without being rude? What with expectations and all. I'm sorry to say it but I think that's the way it's going to have to be even though I feel a bit bad about it. It is a REHEARSAL DINNER after all so I am hoping that anyone not part of the rehearsal will not be offended if they have to pay their own way.  If anyone thinks that's rude...well, I don't know what to tell 'em 'cause that is the best we can do. We have to plan on keeping it small and maybe try to meet up with some folks afterwards if we can. Or they can just come and pay. We have to do what is within our budget. If it's all or nothing then I'd rather not have one at all, but I don't think totally missing out is the way to go.

Do I sound mean? Dare I say cheap? Oh well. I suppose it's just the stress associated with spending so much money on a single event and the frustration of getting ridiculous quotes just to sit our group down to dinner. I'm not trying to have a reception before the reception. Just a casual dinner with good food will do. I knew that even at best with all of my super powers of frugality kicked into high gear this would be an expensive undertaking and I don't regret it. We have saved, budgeted, planned, and I am thrilled with my efforts to keep this within a reasonable comfort zone.  I am very much looking forward to the festivities. It's just that now that we are so close to the end and my STICKER SHOCK has just passed the 10K mark and growing the enormity of our spending is hitting me. Just when you are already stretched to the limit financially having already put down deposits with your vendors, several remaining balances are due very soon, and in the home stretch of paying off your venue you now have all of these extras to come up with on top of everything else.

Buying a house within two months of our wedding has surely exacerbated this situation. Whose bright idea was that anyways? We've been spending money right and left on that and everything in it. That was a HUGE purchase and we are going to have a new mortgage every month as a reminder, but I don't regret that either. Some things, even very expensive things, are just worth it. Like this wedding. I am absolutely not made out of money but in the course of planning a wedding (and even in buying a house) you sort of get the feeling that you are supposed to be. There are so many extras financially that you must take on or feel you must do just because you wanted to have a certain something. Extraneous costs that just add up. You really get hit from all sides and it almost makes you feel like only rich people should do this, because it starts to feel like only they can reasonably afford it.

I know that some of our guests have costs associated with coming to our wedding and being in our wedding. They also have expenses to contend with precipitated by us. They are kind enough to travel and participate in our special day and I truly do appreciate it. As a host I WANT to treat them all to dinner as a show of appreciation, which technically we ARE doing at our reception, just not necessarily the night before. I wish I could pay for hotel reservations, airline tickets and bridesmaid dresses too.

When it comes down to it you either have the money or you don't. You either stretch your budget to make sure you fulfill all of your obligations or you don't. Let's just say I foresee a lot of stretching coming up in the near future. At least I'm already warmed up. I might be willing to stretch it but I WON'T break it.

The Minimalist Bride

There are a lot of things I'm not doing for my wedding.  We aren't doing engagement photos. There will be no out of town bags, petal tosses, programs, menu cards, bathroom baskets, or monograms just to name a few.  But, I will spring for chair covers to liven up our venue and I am hoping to host some extra alcohol for our guests.

I am now and have always been low fuss, simple, easy to please and all about business when it comes to budget. It turns out that my wedding is no exception. The invites I found online were simple yet elegant and I refused to spend more then I was comfortable with.  I started out planning on only 2 bridesmaids and having them pick their own dresses. I ended up with 4 and coordinated dresses just because ultimately I think it's much easier on everyone involved.  I was debating if we should have a rehearsal dinner but I am pretty sure I will because it will be nice for family and friends to get together and so everyone feels comfortable the day of.  I am on a mission to find a very budget friendly location.   I didn't even know if I would have a bridal shower.  Someone wants to plan a party for lil' old me?  Not that I didn't want one I just feel funny about people making a fuss over me.  I didn't go to any bridal bazaars or look at bridal magazines.  I picked out my wedding dress in 2 1/2 hours from one store on one day costing me under $500.  I still don't know what jewelry or shoes I'm wearing but I plan on getting a pair of flat silver sandals that I can wear after the wedding too.  If I end up wearing some pearls I already have at home that will be ok and I will probably end up at the Mac counter in a department store for make up the day of.

Don't get me wrong.  I am fully loving all of this wedding planning. Picking out invitations, designing centerpieces, deciding on colors.  I never imagined in a million years that I would get to have a traditional wedding. The full shebang with a princess dress, sit down dinner, DJ and dancing. I never thought I would be choosing colors and going to tastings. It's been absolutely a dream come true. I may not have a huge budget but I am just happy I get to do this at all.  Even without a whole lot of  extras the fact that I get to have a wedding at all is enough for me.

Every bride has a different approach.  I already know I am a frugal bride but seeing all of these little extras that others are doing got me wondering if I was a lazy and boring bride too. After thinking about it for a moment I have decided I am not. I am just doing what comes naturally to me. I can be creative and am having a great time designing my centerpieces-which I think just so happens to be my only DIY project.  Did you know you can have your wedding vows professional written for you at everaftervows.com for about $150? We are having a friend perform the ceremony.  I plan on mapping out the entire ceremony script and we will write our own vows. There will be no sand ceremonies or musical numbers involved.  There are tons of potentially cool and creative things that could be done that I just don't feel are necessary.  I don't doubt that my wedding will still be beautiful and elegant just the way I envision it just because I don't have a million DIY projects.

My natural tendency is to go basic and maybe throw in a few extra frills and thrills depending on budget and desire. That seems to be exactly what I seem to be doing with my wedding. Not only am I a frugalista apparently I am a minimalista too.

Birthday Shopping

Shopping is not something I do on a whim, for the heck of it or just because I saw something in a catalog that I like. At the beginning of each season change if there are things I need to update my wardrobe a bit I make a list and usually don't have a problem getting just those items. I already have my list of things that I missed out on this year that I want to get next Fall/Winter. There are three typical scenarios that will cause me to hit the mall:

1. I receive a coupon without a minimum purchase requirements. When I get these my goal is to walk in and buy one single item to maximize the discount to money spent ratio. If I can walk into a store and buy a $25 shirt and get $10 off I'm all in. This is my excuse to shop at The Limited and The Express which are stores I love but usually don't frequent because they are not cheap.
2. There is a gaping whole in my wardrobe. There might be a top or a pair of pants that I'll keep trying to wear but can't because nothing looks right with it and/or I don't have the right shoes. I finally get sick of this and go out searching for the item that will allow me to wear that piece.
3. I have an event to attend and/or a trip planned and there is absolutely nothing already in my closet that will work.

There are some exceptions here and there but that is typically my shopping profile and it helps that I generally avoid malls unless I have a specific purpose. It's not because I don't love shopping and new clothes. Oh, how I do. I just don't necessarily have a budget that is too forgiving when it comes to casual shopping, I don't use credit cards and like it or not that's that. For my Birthday my favorite stores were kind enough to send me coupons and of course I have to use them-see #1 above. It's my Birthday and I don't allow myself splurges too often so even though I am in the middle of buying a house, planning a wedding and have car registration due next month I decided to use all three.

Victoria's Secret sent me $10 off so I got these adorably soft yet lacy Angel's hip hugger panties on sale at 3/$30 (regularly $14 each). These keep me in my comfy cottons that I like but are going to be visually appealing to the hubby.

Express sent me $10 off.  I am always cold so I'm always looking for cute lightweight sweaters and these stylish tanks immediately caught my eye. I said what the hell and decided to get them anyways even though at $29.50 each not a single one was on sale (I got the ruffle top in Ivory). With my coupon the average cost per shirt was $26.17.

The Limited sent me a $15 off coupon so I did a little power shopping at lunch today.  I meant to only get one single item but I fell in love with both of these AND they were on sale. I got the drop waist one on the left in gray for $24.50 (regular price $44.50) and the peasant top was on clearance for $39.99 (down from $44.50). With my coupon the average cost per shirt was $24.75.

All together this shopping spree was $156.44. The last time I had a shopping spree of any kind-which for me is more then two items or $60 or more-was October of last year which just so happened to cause a ridiculous shopping mini melt down that I am all too happy not to repeat. What good is it trying to look good doing me if I don't allow myself to enjoy it? Wardrobe cannot live on Target, Kohl's, and Old Navy alone. Not that I can't find some darn good pieces there but I have learned over the years how important it is to mix it up with some classic, quality, nicer pieces as well.

I was given another $15 coupon with no minimum at the Limited and I'm not going to use it. At Express I earned $25 worth of fast cash with a minimum $50 purchase. I mentioned to Mj that I don't think I should use it yadah, yadah, yadah because of all that I had spent. He said "jeez, just do it I would." Some men try to keep their lady out of the mall but mine apparently has to talk me into it. I plan to go back and get this adorable $54.50 dress that I would never pay full price for.

Incidentally, it will satisfy all three shopping requirements above. I have a coupon and a B day Gift card to use, it will fill a gaping whole in my wardrobe as I have little to no summer casual dresses AND it will be perfect for my upcoming honeymoon. Even I can't argue with that!!

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Choices I make generally always come down to price and unfortunately my wedding is no exception. I've had to pick and choose what matters most to me focusing on those and letting the others go. For me that is venue and photographer. Our venue is a newly renovated hotel ballroom for the reception. It has a gorgeous garden area outside for the ceremony. I felt that if I could find a venue that was pretty on its own it would save me on additional decorating costs later. Generic maybe, but the price fit. It will be beautiful and also convenient for everyone especially our out of town guests to have everything in one spot. There were some amazing photographers I would have loved to have do our wedding starting at $2500 and up but I just couldn't do it. I like our photographer's portfolio and think I will end up with beautiful pictures. We are not doing engagement photos at all. I'd like to but just not sure if it's a must have considering budget. It might be fun to save that for a year we aren't spending so much on a wedding and I look forward to doing that and still being as in love as we are on our wedding day.  I stuck to a $500 or less budget on my dress and I really love it.

I will consider up lighting because we got such an awesome deal on our DJ in the first place that I might be able to fit it in. I didn't even know what it was until another blogger enlightened me-excuse the pun!   I really want chair covers because I can see just how amazingly well it transforms a room but may not because the chairs they use are actually OK. I was loving the look of tall elaborate centerpieces with fresh flowers but I am piecing together my own to cut costs. I am spending a little bit more on invitations then I thought I would because the cheap samples I got just looked....well cheap. I think I will go ahead and do the personalized table number cards and place cards because I found a decent price and feel it's one cute detail I can afford. I will forgo an additional Hors D'oeuvre at cocktail hour but may host a bit more alcohol.  I am telling myself that doing what I can is going to be A OK. It's not like my wedding is going to suck because there wasn't a fruit display in addition to the cheese or no chair covers.

Buying this house at the same time has added some extra pressure and provided some clarity on what's really important. Instead of Europe we will do Hawaii. We will have a good time wherever we go as long as we are together. Saving up money so that we can buy down our mortgage points for a more affordable monthly payment and getting our washer/dryer and refrigerator pales in comparison to having an extra dessert in addition to our wedding cake. Not that my wedding isn't important. Not that I don't want to provide a wonderful experience for our guests, but the fact that we are throwing this "party" and bringing everyone together in the first place is huge in itself. I will attend to the extras that I can but if not then so be it. The important thing and what I have always wanted is to have a beautiful event, have people that I care about there to celebrate this wonderful occasion, have a good time, and have great pictures to remember it all later.

Would I love to plan a no holds barred anything my heart desires wedding? YES!! But since that is not possible I will not sweat the small stuff. I will simply enjoy that fact that I get to do this at all and take pleasure in every moment. As far as I'm concerned the biggest thing missing from my wedding is likely to be my big sister and that's not something that even costs money. This wedding is not about the stuff it's about our love. And it's about our friends and family coming together to celebrate it.

Let Me Upgrade Ya

Today Mj and I woke up and left for work at the same time. Why is this significant? Because it's officially his first day back at work since November and the first day of his new job. He looked so cute in his button up shirt, tie and sweater. I almost had a nervous breakdown when he spent about $1,300 on work clothes Saturday. Yep. Over a grand. In one day. On top of the $350 he spent last week before he flew to VA for training. Oh, and this is supposed to be the first month of his new budget that will get us on track for buying the new house. He is not used to having to wait when he wants and/or needs something. Being on a budget sometimes means you can't get it all now and that is something that might take a while to settle in. It really rattled me but I can't get too mad about it because it is for work and suits are not cheap. It is also the extent of his shopping for work clothes for the year. Most of his work clothes are still in storage and he can't get to them until we move into the new house so he had to do something.

Speaking of which. They start building it on Thursday. We are going to go out to the site on Saturday and meet with the builder. We had our design browse appointment on Sunday and ended up with a whopping $10,137 dollars in upgrades. I thought our loan agent was crazy when she said that she was giving us $10,000 for upgrades. Yeah right! It adds up so fast that it makes your head spin though. Also, a lot of the so called up grades are less of an upgrade and more a basic necessity. Like a garage door opener. How are you going to sell someone a garage and not the automatic garage door opener part in this day and age? Oh, and who ever thought that medicine cabinets in your bathrooms or an extra clothing bar in your closet would be considered an upgrade? We did go for some upgraded carpet, kitchen appliances, and doors among other things which definitely added up but a lot of the upgrades that we got were just little things that they get you on that should probably come with the house in the first place. When all is said and done $10,000 only adds $100 per month to your mortgage. Not that I don't think every $100 counts but by the end of this process I just kind of threw my hands up and went with it. We will get what we want in the house and be done with it.

The paperwork on this is never ending. Bank statements, W2's, pay stubs, VA documentation, letters of explanation and it just goes on and on. We got this huge packet in the mail-half of which I don't even understand and had to sign just about every page. They are waiting on one last bit of information and then we will be officially submitted to the underwriting department for final review and approval of our loan.

It's been another busy weekend capped off with the Superbowl on Sunday. I really enjoyed watching the game with my family. I have a bit of a snack food hangover today so I am feeling slow and heavy which I hate. We were out all day and finally made it home around 9:00pm where I collapsed into bed just as soon as I could. I forgot to take my sleeping pill before getting into to bed and was too tired to get up and take it but I somehow managed to sleep ok without it.

Another busy weekend down and many more coming up.

Cont'd: Under Contract, Now Where's My Loan?

On Shaky Ground

I felt the earthquake yesterday but it seems like no one else but me ever does. I was laying in bed when I felt it rattling beneath me. At just the moment where I might have started getting scared and was really wishing that hubby were here and that I was not alone it stopped. I have felt shaking before and usually figure I must be imagining it but I was totally validated when I heard that it happened at 6:19am, was a 5.5 on the Richter scale and based out of Rosarito, Mexico. I am a regular seismograph.

My life is feeling a little shaky right now too. House hunting has taken over my life to the point where I am just plain old worn out. The contract is signed, the financing is -hopefully- secured and we have our final design browse appointment Sunday. Yes, super bowl Sunday and it's a 1 1/2 drive!! It was the only time we could get with hubby being out of town this week and the one right down the street being closed over the weekend.

Oh, and get this. A foreclosure property that fit our price range came up yesterday. It has a deck and looks pretty nice from the four pictures we saw. It has fees but they are low and it's right in the middle of a lush golf course. It would mean doing that nasty commute but it's priced lower then the new house. Timing is everything. It was comforting to hear Mj say he still likes ours better because all of those what if's started running through my mind. I hate that feeling of second guessing yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. Especially on something so HUGE!!

I do expect things to calm down now that a decision is made but there are still so many variables. And the number crunching continues. What will our final interest rate end up being? How much does it cost to lock the loan rate? How much of the interest rate will points buy down? How many of those darn points can we buy? It's crazy how you have to sign your life away and pay $3,000 up front when all you can see of your so called house is a pile of dirt and there are still so many variables that will have a major impact on our monthly payment. They can't even tell us exactly when the house will be done so we can move in. We have heard April and May. All we really know is that it will be about 60 days after they pour the foundation. Whenever that is. Sigh.

This is a good thing. I can't wait to move into a HOUSE!! But it's scary too and I am just hoping for the best.

Cont'd:  Let Me Upgrade Ya

We Bought Ourselves A House

So, we did it! We got the house. We went over on Friday and signed the final contract. We already had our initial browse design appointment and we have a final one set for next Sunday. I am filled with a combination of fear and relief.

This was a very difficult decision for us to make. Mj tends to worry a little less then I do about money and finances and he wasn't so sure if I was going to go for this. It's about $25K above what I felt our bottom line budget was. I crunched numbers and ran it every which way I could and decided that if we come up with some more cash to buy our interest rate down with points then we could make it work. Even if we don't end up doing this in the end I need to know that it's at least an option.

People think I'm crazy for being so fanatical about savings and finances. Some people come out of the womb with a Coach purse and I came out with a savings account. I got my first job at Ross Dress for Less at 16 and have been putting money aside ever since. It has served me well over the years. Even if I don't make a whole lot when I have needed money for big important purchases it has been there. I say no to shopping, trips, and lots of other things I want all the while this money has been sitting in the bank. That's what you have to do. If you dip into it every time you want something its going to disappear and not be there when you really need it. Well, now is one of those times. Most of what Mj saved over this year he was gone that we thought we would use as a down payment has towards paying off some bills. If we need what's left of my life savings to get into this house then so be it. It's tough to let go of though. It's been comforting to know it's there even if I never touched it.

We may not have any money left over for new furniture after we get the necessary washer, dryer, and refrigerator. There aren't going to be any extras added onto our wedding package. We will still go somewhere but we won't be going to Europe for our honeymoon now. Certain sacrifices have to be made in order to get what you truly want.

Unfortunately, it is not cheap to live in this state in this county even right now when the housing market the way it is. I want to have a place that we can happily and comfortably live in for at least the next ten years and I think we have found it in this house. All my life I have really settled when it comes to a lot of different things including where I live. I have lived in places I really didn't like to keep my rent low. I have settled for a tiny studio for the last five years and for the first time I am not going to have to do that. Even though I am scared it feels kind of good too.

One of the things I love about Mj is his willingness to change and be flexible. He is not used to being on a budget but I have worked one out for him and he's okay with it because he understands the bigger picture.

For me this is no different then any other year. You sacrifice. You live within your means. You don't always get everything you want. And you save. Even if you can think of no particular reason to do so.

Cont'd:  On Shakey Ground