10.15.2014

17 Signs That You Are Not A Cook

I'm so over the never ending cycle of what's for dinner.  The obtaining of groceries and the preparing of food week after week.  I wish I could afford a food delivery service.  Not the kind that delivers you the ingredients so you can make it yourself but the kind that delivers actual already cooked grab and go healthy food that isn't loaded with sodium.  What would be really cool is if there was a dinner pill for days you just don't feel like doing the whole what's for dinner debacle; which is basically every day for me.  It would meet all the nutritional qualities of a balanced dinner and trick your belly into feeling like you ate something.  I need to get on that one so I can ditch cooking and get rich while I'm at it.

Sometimes I feel really guilty for not being this Susie homemaker hot dinner on the table for my man every night (or even every other night) kind of wife.   When I cook it's mainly because I love my husband.  Not to say that when I don't cook it means I don't love him.  When I don't cook it just means I don't like cooking and I probably wouldn't bother at all if it were just me.  At some point I'd probably get tired of my non cooking alternatives and have to break down and cook but that would definitely be a last resort.  I haven't totally given up hope.  I'll keep dragging my butt into the kitchen and trying to love cooking but for now and the foreseeable future I don't.  I'm glad my husband does.

You know you aren't a cook when.....

1//You try to make it fun by drinking wine but being in the kitchen is just another chore that you have to get through.

2//You 'accidentally' forget to take out the meat so you can put off cooking for just one more day.  Oh darn.  I guess I'm going to have to pick up dinner on the way home.

3//You cook as little as possible.  Whatever the minimum number of times you can cook dinner in a month and still save your marriage is the number you shoot for.

4//It's been so long since you've been in the kitchen that one day your husband finally asks, when are you gonna cook something?
 
5//Nothing you ever make tastes as good as when someone else makes it.  EVER.  No matter how hard you try.  So why bother?

6//You are okay with eating things like sandwiches or Quesadilla for dinner every day.  At least you didn't have to cook it.

7//It takes you a really long time to make even the simplest things.  My husband can make almost anything in 30 minutes or less but unless it's a straight to microwave or oven meal everything seems to take me at least an hour.  I managed spaghetti last week in 45 minutes.  Go me. 

8//You consistently use the wrong knife.  You can't cut bread with that one.  Why are you using that small knife to cut vegetables?  Why would you cut cheese with a butter knife? To that I say, it's sharp, it cuts.  What difference does it make?

9//You forget to turn the oven on until it's time to put in whatever it is that you've been prepping for the last 30 minutes.  No wonder it takes you so long to make anything.

10//You put something on the stove and then totally forget about it until after your husband has already finished making whatever it was that you were supposed to be cooking.

11//Sometimes you even forget to turn the oven off.  Oops.

12//You can't just whip something up out of the pantry. It's a process and preparation is required. First you have to mentally prepare for being in the kitchen.  Then you have to go to do research to find the recipe and go to the grocery store.  That's another reason you never want to cook.  It's such an ordeal.

13//If too many ingredients of said recipe are too exotic forget it.  If you have to ask someone at the grocery store where you might find garam masala or mustard powder or what it even is then you move onto the next one until you find one with ingredients that you actually recognize.

14//The less ingredients involved the more likely you are to make it.  If there are more then 10 ingredients there is a good chance you will skip it and move onto the next.

15//Even still, you often skip out on ingredients that seem like too much trouble.  How much of a difference does that lemon rind really make anyways? It'll taste fine.

16//You can't get through cooking a meal without having to ask someone how to do something or googling it.  Do I need oil? How do I know it's done?  I have had to google how to make chicken and how to boil eggs.

17//You are nervous when others eat your cooking.  Will they notice that  you axed two ingredients, half of it stuck to the pan or that you forgot to use seasoning?

I also pin no bake recipes and still don't make them so that's 18.  I'm a kitchen nightmare.

Do any of these apply to you or am I the only blogger on the face of the plant that doesn't love to cook?  Any tips on how to love cooking would also be helpful.

19 comments :

Shannon Q. said...

Ahhh....this was great! I actually really like cooking, but have officially sucked at it since that whole divorce thing happened. When that happened I guess the Martha Stewart in me died!! I now call things like quesadillas or a big bowl of cereal dinner more times than I don't!!!

Lauren said...

My husband does all of our cooking for these same reasons! He's always telling me I have the wrong knife or wrong cutting technique and if I have to pre-cook too much stuff before actually throwing the dish in the oven or whatever, forget it!

Jackie @ Our Nashville Life said...

I like to cook, but I hate coming home from working and having to cook dinner. I also hate it because my husband doesn't cook at all, so it's always up to me to do it. That's why I'm going to Trader Joes this weekend. To buy tons of stuff that just takes a few minutes to prep and cook.

Tami said...

I don't hate cooking quite as much as you do, but I'm with you in that it seems to take me a really long time to make even the simple things! If I see a recipe has more than like five ingredients, I'm like SEEYA

Dee said...

Okay, this post was hilarious. I just couldn't stop laughing. I really love cooking and I probably get way too excited when I find a new recipe to try out, but I don't know. Maybe, I just need a life... :)

Carly Blogs Here said...

I can relate to soo many of these! I love trying new recipes, it has become one of my favorite things to do, but at the same time, coming up with meals every single night of the week is not a fun task for me- I'd be so happy cooking 1-2x!

Kathy C said...

aww... haha you're too cute! This post cracked me up! I'll have to do some post of super easy recipes for you to try out! ;)

Ashley @ A Cute Angle said...

Uhhh I hate cooking! I'd rather scrub toilets!!!

~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

LaToya LouisvilleSlugger said...

I am the majority of these. I hate cooking. I bought all of the ingredients for the chicken pot pie last weekend and haven't cooked it yet. LOL

Pegster said...

You are funny Cece, I had a great laugh reading this.
I used to be pretty sucky too but then I learned a few easy recipes and I went from there and though I am no Suzie homemaker, I am now making a few meals a week.

I have to tell you, it was really hard cooking for just the two of us because it was about the same price to just order food and less hassle. Things really took off once the kids started eating too.

Mrs. K said...

Sadly, most of these apply to me but the bad part is...I still consider myself a cook. LOL. Reality check. Ha!

jackie jade said...

i don't love cooking either but i sorta try to force myself to do it. i don't think i'm actually too bad at it, i'm just not a fan of it. it's just soooo much work. and i recently called my mom to ask how to boil an egg so don't feel bad ha.

Kate Jordan said...

This is me all over! I hate cooking!

Janna Renee said...

I feel like crockpot meals should be up your alley, because most of them are throw in and let 'em go. I'm proud of you when you do cook!

Megan said...

Hahahah, this is so funny. I also hate cooking, it really is a chore. This all rang very true. Also, if I do cook, husband has some excuse not to eat it.

Newlyweds on a Budget said...

I actually like cooking, but I am not very good at it. I need a recipe to get through something, but it usually turns out ok. Eric on the other hand is a genius in the kitchen. He can see what we have and make something really good! I am not that creative. I hope he's the one that will teach our children how to cook, bc they will be screwed with me

afairlie said...

Literally laughing out loud! You are NOT alone! Thanks for saying out loud :-)

Whitney Cypert said...

Number 3 made me laugh! And number 12 is the main reason I choose not to cook when I make that choice. I actually like to cook ok, or atleast the reward you get from cooking. But it is such a pain in the ass sometimes! So, since you don't cook often, what do you eat??

Anonymous said...

I can relate to all of this! My husband can also whip up a gourmet feast out of odds and ends in the fridge, while I have to plan for days to make something simple. My kitchen would look like it exploded and all I made was spaghetti. And yes, I also googled "how to boil eggs" after asking friends, my mother and my mother-in-law for their techniques ... just to be sure. Some people just have the knack, and despite all these years, I can cook enough not to starve the family, but it doesn't come naturally.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...