Fall Shopping List

Can you believe I only just discovered the joy of boots with leggings and skinny jeans just last year?  Thanks to the Joe's Next Model contest last year I am totally with it on a fashion trend for once.  I took home a pair of distressed skinny jeans I would have never bought on my own that I LOVE from the shoot and with the $500 Joe's Jeans online store credit I got some pretty pricey denim that I didn't have to pay for.  Two pairs of jeggings, another pair of skinnies in black and a great pair of boot cut jeans as well.  I also bought a few other fall wardrobe items but there are still some things I want for this year.  So Cal winters aren't exactly harsh and some people live year round in shorts and flip flops but not me.

• Brown Knee High Boots
• Long Sleeved Tops 
• Nude Pumps
• Black Pumps

I snagged the perfect boots at Aldo so that's one check off my list.  Real leather boots are so expensive which is why my black knee high's are fake.  I saw some great Guess boots at Macy's and DSW for $189 but I didn't want to spent that much.  I found these online on clearance for $119.98 and they even offer free delivery.  They were sitting on my door step today when I got home and they fit perfectly.

Got my brown boots!!

I want pumps because like knee high boots they just look really hot.  They look great with skinny jeans too.  I feel like I can wear them with anything and be instantly sexy.  At least that's what I'm hoping!  Pumps are not a priority so if I can't fit them into my budget now they can wait until next year.  It seems like every year around this time I look in my closet and have hardly any long sleeves.  Or maybe I just don't like what's in there from last year.  Which very well could be the case because I think I made some pretty bad choices just trying to get what was cheap.  I'll be sure not to do that this year.  Either way I need to buy new stylish ones and retire what I don't like to lounge wear and/or Goodwill.  I've got some Express,  Limited and DSW coupons and don't plan on spending too much money.

I've done quite a bit of shopping the last few months.  I got shoes, dress pants and some cotton tops.  Once I got away from focusing on wedding and house shopping I just sorta went for it, but once I get what's on my list I'm satisfied and the shopping is done.  Then I'll go back to buying things for the house and with Christmas practically around the corner I'll be shopping for that next.  There's always something.  Spring and Summer wardrobes are so much easier to build. Tanks and sandals cost a heck of a lot less then knee high boots and sweaters.  I feel like it's taking me a long time to build up that basic winter wardrobe because I can't buy everything I want at once.  It's kinda like decorating my house.  One piece at a time.  

Like A Woman Possessed

Like a woman possessed I got into my car on my lunch break and drove to DSW.  A couple weeks ago it was The Limited to update my work pants and about a week later I went to Express with a coupon and got some really cute cotton fashion tees.  And now this.  I don't know what's gotten into me but I'd be lying if I said I'm not enjoying it.  I am not typically a habitual shopper but for the third time this month I found myself doing just that.  I LOVE DSW shoes and I walked out with not one, not two, but three pairs!  What initially brought me in there was the desire need to replace a pair of my tan wedge slides that Mj sort of teases me about wearing because quite frankly, they are ugly.  There was a day I thought they were cute but that day has long since been done and gone.  It is not uncommon for me to wear ugly items of clothing hanging around my wardrobe simply because I need to wear them with certain outfits and have nothing else to replace it.  Terrible I know, but due to financial considerations sometimes budget trumps fashion and like it or not that's just the way it goes.

My shoe shopping haul-all on clearance at DSW

So, getting back to my DSW trip.  I checked out the regular priced area and didn't see much so I went back to the clearance section and instead of two rows of last season's rejects I was pleasantly surprised at the huge selection they had in big foot size.  Which is a 10.  I found a perfect replacement for my ugly tan shoes in a 9.5 for $35.98.  Thank goodness they fit and they are so comfortable.  The heel height is perfect for me.  I can wear them to work and I'll even want to wear them on the weekends.  Then, I also found a pair of basic Guess black flip flops for $14.96 which I also feel justified in purchasing because I need a pair for my honeymoon.  Now the third pair.  Well, the only justification I can come up for those is that comfort is very important to me.  There was no way I could pass up these comfortable soft leather moccasin like yet extremely adorable flats.  I have lusted after similar flats before.  These are B Makowki's and apparently they use really fine leather which must be why they are so comfortable.  They were originally $89.94 but like the other two, 40% off so I got them for $59.94.   I have a pair of bronze flats that I will likely chuck in favor of these.  They aren't very comfortable but I wore them anyhow because it's the only pair I had in that color.

The lady in line before me insisted on removing all shoes from the boxes so she could place them discreetly in a bag to hide her shopping from her husband.  I thought that was funny.  I know she isn't the only woman out there shopping on the down low.  I on the other hand excitedly rush into the house and share my purchases with my husband.  He actually gets excited for me when I shop because he knows how often I deny myself things that I want and/or need.

This is new territory for someone who used to make a sport of denying myself simple pleasures and I have to say it feels good.   Almost exactly a year ago I went shopping and practically had a nervous breakdown.  I became filled with dread over what I had done.  My friend and I wore our new boots out of the store so I couldn't take them back.  Mj was overseas at the time and when I told him I bought a pair of Uggs I was so upset I burst into tears.  I smashed every bit of joy out of getting something nice for myself.  Which is ridiculous because I save religiously and have been since I was 16.  In lean times it may not have been much but saving has always been a top priority and I certainly know how to do without when the money isn't there.  I don't have credit card debt and I take care of bills first.  I work hard dammit!  I need to allow myself to enjoy things.  Within reason of course.  Which it is because I am still under the monthly budget that I set for myself.  I will not be buying a Louis Vuitton Purse and Anthropologie is still mostly out of the question but a trip to Macy's where I buy a few things or heaven forbid a $140 pair of boots should never feel like the end of the world.  I know when to stop.

Budget is the determining factor for everything.  I may not like it but I accept that I must live within my means weather I like those means or not.  It's been an expensive year.  Planning a wedding, turning my condo into a rental property, and buying a house took priority over everything else.  We still have our honeymoon and next thing you know it'll be Christmas.  After years of shopping with anxiety, many moons of being on total shopping lock down, and more recently shopping just for the house I am finally shopping for me AND enjoying it.  It's about time and I love it!!

Old Pants Die Hard

My two pairs of black pants must be about 10 years old.  I'm not exaggerating.  They are from Express and so old that they don't even use the same clothing labels anymore.  One of them has little white elastics busting through the material in the butt area.  I figure no one else is getting close enough to my butt to actually see it, at least they shouldn't be, so I've continued to wear them because I didn't have anything else.   On one of the legs on the other pair the hem is actually held up by safety pins.  How embarrassing is that?  Not only are they old but they are both way too big for me now.  Too much extra fabric hanging around is so not flattering.

Nice dress pants are not cheap.  I like to buy them from Express or the Limited because I love the fit and they are long enough for my legs but I'm on a budget so they tend get pushed to the bottom of my list whenever I do have money to shop with.

The time is just never right to spend bucks on black pants.  Yeah, in 10 years.  When I get coupons or have extra money to spend the last thing I wanted to get is a pair of work pants.  I would rather get something fun.  Something to wear someplace other then to go sit in a cubicle all day and at $60 bucks a pop I would much rather get two of something else instead of one pair of pants.  I like to look professional but my job doesn't even technically have a dress code.  Needless to say, my work wardrobe tends to suffer due to this overall attitude.   I did buy some new work pants in Navy and Brown the last time I had The Limited coupons but I didn't get black.  I was trying to expand the variety of colors I had to wear and old as they were I still had black.

When I got some Limited coupons in the mail I told myself once and for all I WILL get a new pair of black pants. According to me the time is never right but the wear and tear on those pants tell a whole different story and I have clearly gotten my money's worth.  It's time to move on.  The coupon was for 25% off and after finding out that all their pants are on sale for $39.90 right now I decided to get grey and black 'cause my grey Express pants are also 10 years old too!  I got The Limited Exact Stretch Boot Cut pant and I love the material.  Mostly something called Viscose, Nylon and about 2% spandex so they have that perfect amount of stretch with a nice classic look that makes your legs look long and lean.  The rise hits my hips perfectly and they have cool textured pin stripes.  I spent a total of $65.00 for two pairs of nice pants that normally cost $59.50 each. 

Oh, I didn't even mention my Express khaki pants. They are part of the 10 year old pant club too but the fit isn't as loose and they are not falling apart.  Yet.  Maybe I'll see if I can get those to last for 20 and if The Limited pants last even 1/2 as long as The Express ones did I won't have to do this again for awhile.

An Anthropologie Experience

Can't wait to wear this cute top

"Oh, they have an Anthropologie." I was with my big sis at the mall on Sunday and we wandered in there because we just so happened to be passing by and I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Every female seems to adore their clothes and abhor the prices so I have purposefully never checked out the website or made any attempt to walk in the store-not that I see them too often.  You know, that whole ignorance is bliss thing.  I certainly don't need another store on top of Express AND The Limited that I covet but can't really afford to shop at without coupons.  And something tells me Anthropologie is not very coupon friendly.

I made my way through the store fingering their lovely expensive clothes and hoping not to fall in love. Without planning to I walked out with an adorable clearance sleeveless top -First Flight Tee for $29.99. A bit high for just a tank but you can really feel the quality. The material is so soft and luxurious and I love the little lacy fringe on the shoulder that gives it such a girly yet sophisticated look.  It's so not in my budget but after months of buying mostly stuff for the house I just sorta said "What the hell" and bought it.  Clearance is the only way I'll likely ever buy anything from that store again considering the prices but I really do love their chic and elegant yet girly style.  They have great dresses and tops.  They make cotton look fancy which is perfect for a girl like me who if given an ultimatum would choose comfort over fashion-especially when it comes to my footwear-but REALLY wants to have both.  With Anthro I get this distinct feeling that I could have the best of both worlds and find myself dreaming of my entire closet filled with their pieces.  What if my entire wardrobe was all Anthropologie?  I couldn't help but to look effortlessly fabulous-all the time.  And then I imagine how much that would cost me.  Bubble bursting.  So not happening!!

Incidentally, without even realizing it I actually have two tops from Anthro.  Both given to me by my trendy fashionista little sis as gifts over the last couple of years because she really is just cool like that.  She has been a fan of Anthro for quite a while now along with everyone else.  Now I have one more piece to add to my not really growing collection. I feel pretty cool now that I bought a shirt from Anthropologie although I don't know when or even if it will happen again.  At least not anytime soon!  And yes, I fell in love just a little bit but this store is so far out of my reach that it pretty much kills the whole temptation factor I was afraid of.

The Fair & The Fourth

Do we really NEED Chocolate Covered Bacon? UGGh!!

I love the fair and I think I've gone just about every year since I can remember.  We used to go as a family and now that I am older it's a tradition I've happily held onto and Mj seems content to go along with the program too.  I used to go for the rides but now I go for the food.  I have a wedding on Saturday so I did not get the chocolate covered bacon.  Yes, that's right.  Chocolate Covered Bacon!!!!!  You can even get deep fried butter and deep fried Klondike bars now if you so desire.  They have gone way too far if you asked me.  I got the delicious french bread pizza that I get every single year.  I pretended not to notice that the pizza place may actually have a store that's probably not too far from where we live.  It's easier to believe that I can only get this once a year.  It cost $8.16 at the fair and is probably a heck of a lot cheaper at their store but I simply don't need the temptation.  We headed over to the beer garden after that where we paid about $14 bucks for two beers and sat in the grass outside watching MMA cage fighting while we ate.  Random, I know.  You never know what kinds of things you will see at the fair which is one of the reasons I love it so much.

This year was a little different because we wanted to see a show at 7:30 pm instead of just doing the all day thing like I usually do.  We planned to get there late afternoon but got off to an even later start then anticipated and didn't have time to do a single ride or walk around as much as I would've liked but we still had fun.  At least Mj was here this year unlike last year when he was out of the country.  The Jeff Dunham show was pretty funny and entertaining.  We saw him 4 of his 6 hilarious characters.  I laughed through most of it.

Jeff Dunham with Crochety old "Walter" one of my fav characters of his

Saturday night after the fair we picked up my mother in law from the airport and then Sunday I picked up my big sis!  It was so good to see her.  She is growing another human being inside her body, her feet are swollen, and she has to take insulin shots now that she has gestational diabetes but she's still my big sis and it's nice to have her home.  All of us went up to my parents house for the 4th and spent a nice relaxing day there.

Me and my preggo sis

Monday my mother in law and I went shopping.  We got her completely outfitted for the wedding from head to toe.  I also found my shoes at Macy's.  They are exactly what I was looking for, they were on sale and I had a $10.00 off coupon so I only spent $32.00 with tax.  They are cute and comfy gladiator type Alfani sandals with a tiny 1/2 inch wedge.  I will be comfortable all during the wedding AND have a great pair of sandals to wear afterwards.  I also discovered this great store called Cotton On.  They are based out of Australia.  I am all about comfort and love this store because they have stylish clothing all in cotton and some great prices.  It was not planned but I was able to get my little shopping fix and spend only $23.00 because I found a navy and off white stripped cotton dress for $9.00, a black and white skirt for $5 and a great black shirt for $5.  The dress is cotton, casual and will be perfect to bring with me on our honeymoon.  SCORE!  It's the first shopping I have done that wasn't for the house in a long time.  I'd almost forgotten that stores had other sections besides housewares.

I had a great weekend.  The bad news is that I'm back at work right now and tired but the good news is that It's a two day work week.  I'm taking Thursday, Friday, and Monday off to prepare for and recover from the wedding.  Can't wait.

Birthday Shopping

Shopping is not something I do on a whim, for the heck of it or just because I saw something in a catalog that I like. At the beginning of each season change if there are things I need to update my wardrobe a bit I make a list and usually don't have a problem getting just those items. I already have my list of things that I missed out on this year that I want to get next Fall/Winter. There are three typical scenarios that will cause me to hit the mall:

1. I receive a coupon without a minimum purchase requirements. When I get these my goal is to walk in and buy one single item to maximize the discount to money spent ratio. If I can walk into a store and buy a $25 shirt and get $10 off I'm all in. This is my excuse to shop at The Limited and The Express which are stores I love but usually don't frequent because they are not cheap.
2. There is a gaping whole in my wardrobe. There might be a top or a pair of pants that I'll keep trying to wear but can't because nothing looks right with it and/or I don't have the right shoes. I finally get sick of this and go out searching for the item that will allow me to wear that piece.
3. I have an event to attend and/or a trip planned and there is absolutely nothing already in my closet that will work.

There are some exceptions here and there but that is typically my shopping profile and it helps that I generally avoid malls unless I have a specific purpose. It's not because I don't love shopping and new clothes. Oh, how I do. I just don't necessarily have a budget that is too forgiving when it comes to casual shopping, I don't use credit cards and like it or not that's that. For my Birthday my favorite stores were kind enough to send me coupons and of course I have to use them-see #1 above. It's my Birthday and I don't allow myself splurges too often so even though I am in the middle of buying a house, planning a wedding and have car registration due next month I decided to use all three.

Victoria's Secret sent me $10 off so I got these adorably soft yet lacy Angel's hip hugger panties on sale at 3/$30 (regularly $14 each). These keep me in my comfy cottons that I like but are going to be visually appealing to the hubby.

Express sent me $10 off.  I am always cold so I'm always looking for cute lightweight sweaters and these stylish tanks immediately caught my eye. I said what the hell and decided to get them anyways even though at $29.50 each not a single one was on sale (I got the ruffle top in Ivory). With my coupon the average cost per shirt was $26.17.

The Limited sent me a $15 off coupon so I did a little power shopping at lunch today.  I meant to only get one single item but I fell in love with both of these AND they were on sale. I got the drop waist one on the left in gray for $24.50 (regular price $44.50) and the peasant top was on clearance for $39.99 (down from $44.50). With my coupon the average cost per shirt was $24.75.

All together this shopping spree was $156.44. The last time I had a shopping spree of any kind-which for me is more then two items or $60 or more-was October of last year which just so happened to cause a ridiculous shopping mini melt down that I am all too happy not to repeat. What good is it trying to look good doing me if I don't allow myself to enjoy it? Wardrobe cannot live on Target, Kohl's, and Old Navy alone. Not that I can't find some darn good pieces there but I have learned over the years how important it is to mix it up with some classic, quality, nicer pieces as well.

I was given another $15 coupon with no minimum at the Limited and I'm not going to use it. At Express I earned $25 worth of fast cash with a minimum $50 purchase. I mentioned to Mj that I don't think I should use it yadah, yadah, yadah because of all that I had spent. He said "jeez, just do it I would." Some men try to keep their lady out of the mall but mine apparently has to talk me into it. I plan to go back and get this adorable $54.50 dress that I would never pay full price for.

Incidentally, it will satisfy all three shopping requirements above. I have a coupon and a B day Gift card to use, it will fill a gaping whole in my wardrobe as I have little to no summer casual dresses AND it will be perfect for my upcoming honeymoon. Even I can't argue with that!!

Just A Little Shopping

I had an absolutely amazing 4 day weekend thanks to my job giving us both President's birthdays off. I had Friday and Monday off and the weather was fantastic. I was productive. I dropped my car off for repairs, met with two property management companies, and picked up some stuff for my centerpieces. I cooked, cleaned, and did laundry. I kind of felt like a super wifey having all of this time to go out and do errands, take care of the household AND feed my man. Because of those extra two days I also managed to get in some much needed relaxation. Time where I was able to just sit in the house doing not much of anything instead of running around from errand to errand and working on this and that all day long. If only 3-4 day weekends were the rule and not the exception.

As a reward for going back to work today I picked up this short sleeved Double Button Placket Shirt in white from The Limited on my lunch break. Their clothes are soooo cute but pricey so I normally don't step foot in that place unless I have a coupon. They usually have pretty great clearance deals too. Yes, I am on a budget being that the monthly amount due on our wedding venue equals my current mortgage and I'm in the middle of buying a new house. BUT, I had a coupon. That makes everything OK. The shirt was on sale for $29.70 and with my additional $15 off coupon I spent a whopping $15 and some change. I could have doubled that savings to $30 with a $100 purchase but that wasn't the plan. I went in for one single sale priced top and that's exactly what I got.

The only problem is that because of this little shopping trip I found out that ALL of their pants are on sale for $39.50 which means I might have to go back for another round of speed shopping!! This sale is huge considering they have such great fitting and quality pants that are usually so expensive that I would rather wear 10 year old pants to work then buy them. They are usually $60+. The good news is that I have another identical coupon that says it's for "a friend" and if I stick to the plan I can walk out of there spending about $28 bringing my total shopping expenditure for the month to $43 bucks!! That I can do.

It's actually quite helpful that there is just one Limited in the entire county that is only conveniently accessible from work while I am on my lunch break. I am on a tight budget but if I can reward myself with little things here and there I don't feel so deprived and I can work on filling out my wardrobe bit by bit. Everything in moderation!!

The Dress

My fitting room. One of these is MY dress!

When I walked into David's Bridal Saturday it was a madhouse. There were women everywhere trying on all kinds of dresses. Babe, my bridal consultant could barely find me a room. When I looked at these bridal dresses in the plastic garment bag they all looked ugly. It is so hard to tell what the darn dress is going to look like. There is just so much fabric there and it's just so massive that you really can't tell what's what until you see it on a body.

I scanned the aisle with my size on it and there were only about 2 that looked decent to me. Babe started pulling dresses from my list of favorites that I brought in and dress hunting was in full swing. My mom and three friends were there to help me make this important decision and I must say I really did feel special being the center of attention as I put on these gorgeous dresses. I felt like I was on "Say Yes to The Dress" except there were no cameras and I was not trying on thousand dollar dresses. All I knew going into this is that I wanted to try strapless and that I did like the pick up style on the bottom. This is not my first marriage so I was considering Ivory but there is just something about a pristine white dress that I couldn't resist.

The first dress I put on was perfect. It made me feel like a princess and it hung beautifully on me. I think it was one of the two I just randomly grabbed at the beginning. It wasn't on my favorites list and I'm not exactly sure where it came from but there it was and I liked it. The second dress was a corset style that showed off my shape a little and I kept it on my list as a possibility. Every other dress thereafter was measured against those two.

Dress after dress I tried on. Still sticking with my 2 favorites but just wanting to make sure there was nothing I liked better. The #2 fav dress with it's lace up style may have eliminated my need (and the cost) of alterations but they only had it in a size 6. I tried on a similar one in a 2 and it fit perfectly but I went in there to buy a dress that day and didn't want to order one from another state without knowing if it would for sure work or not.

I kept going back to that first dress in my mind anyways. I love the silver beading on the bodice and the pick up style ruching down the skirt. It probably didn't make it onto my favorites because it was priced at $499. Ideally, I was trying to keep my dress around $300-$450. But, I did get $50 off due to the sale and I feel pretty good about staying under $500. In fact, there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to go above that anyhow!! I think I must be between a size 2 and 4 which sucks. It's a strapless and I want it to feel secure around my body. It will have to be taken in a bit at the waist and shortened at an additional cost but bottom line is it's my dress.

It's an exhausting process. Those dresses are big and heavy. They can practically stand up on their own and you can't really get into and out of them by yourself. It took about 2 1/2 hours to make a decision on the bridal dress and I found a bridesmaid dress in about 30 minutes.

My Bridesmaid dresses

Some of those bridesmaid dresses are downright ugly and look a heck of a lot better in the catalog then they do in person. I wanted something cute and re wearable for my bridesmaids and I was afraid I wasn't going to find it in Pink but I did!! It is a beautiful soft pastel pink (although it doesn't quite look like it online) and will be perfect for a Summer wedding. It is sateen and has a matte finish and not some gaudy satin shiny thing. It even has pockets! They will wear a black pin on flower at the waist to complete the look and incorporate my 2nd color. This is a chic not overly formal look that I was going for. They will get $20 off their dresses because I bought my bridal dress there and my out of state bridesmaid will have no problem getting it.

I put my dress on layaway so I could spread out the payments. It will stay at the store for 60 days when I will make my final payment. I can either take it home that day and come back later or send it straight into alterations.

I kinda felt like part of the David's Bridal wedding machine while I was in there but I think going there was the right choice for me. They have great dresses for reasonable prices. That penny pincher inside of me says I should have just stuck to the $99 dresses and called it a day. I am very frugal and don't have extravagent taste, but I simply would not have been satisfied with a simple plain dress-not that one like that could not have been pretty. This is a BIG party afterall, so give me just one day to do it up big for a change. I wanted the dress to be unlike anything I would ever wear again. I wanted an amazing dress not just an OK dress. Don't I deserve that for once? I am thinking that maybe I do.

I just bought the most expensive and elaborate dress I will ever own in my lifetime. Never mind that I will only wear it for about 10 hours. Mission accomplished.

Clueless Christmas Shopping

I didn't necessarily plan on doing my Christmas shopping yesterday. I just knew I needed to do it and I figured Monday was as good a day as any because the crowds are only going to get worse as we get closer to the big day. I only buy gifts for my immediate family so I don't ever usually do a lot of shopping which is simple. I just don't feel the need to buy something for every single friend and they don't either so it works. I am doing secret santa but I don't do cards or do co worker gifts. Am I a scrooge? Anyhow.

I walked into the mall already feeling frustrated because I honestly didn't know what to get everyone and I just didn't want to be at the mall. My first stop was Victoria's Secret and the line was half way through the store almost making me not want to find anything I want for anyone there. I got my little sis some soft lacy Angel's by VS panties from there and used a $10 off coupon (1 of 2!!) that I have. Then I went to Macy's. I knew I was going to get dad some cologne. He loves cologne and for years and years we refused to get it for him because that's all he ever wanted and for a while that is all we got him but it dawned on me that I hadn't gotten it for him in a long time. So, that was pretty easy. I got him a Hugo Boss cologne and body gel set. Hubby mentioned that he wanted a robe. I knew the Alfani ones were going to be on door buster clearance today but I looked at them and they just seemed a bit flimsy so I got him a nice Black Nautica Robe one which was on sale and I was able to use my coupon for it. I feel the most frustrated about my mom's gift. She has tons of jewelry, clothes upon clothes, and there wasn't any one thing that told me, "Yes, get that for mom." So, I did the Macy's gift card thing which I kind of hate. She does love to shop and she loves Macy's. I was going to do the same for my big sis but when I got to Walgreen's to pick up that Visa gift card I decided to get her a snuggie instead. I know, I know, those things are so weird but sometime earlier this year she was talking about how she thought they were cool and I literally thought she was joking but she wasn't. All of the snuggie colors are kind of awful but they have a leopard print one out. It's a stylish snuggie if there ever was one and so like my sister!! I got her an i tunes gift card to go with it.

So that's that. Mission accomplished in about 2 1/2 hours and I stayed within a reasonable budget which is always a huge factor in everything. I love gift giving and I really wish I could spend much, much more on the people that I love. It's so much fun buying something for someone that you just know they will love. I think that everyone will like the gifts that I chose but because I just didn't know what to get them I kept putting it off and it was turning into a chore instead of a joy. Oh, and I did get something for myself. I had a $15 off coupon at Express so as usual my goal is to go in and find one of their $19.50 items which is usually the cheapest item they carry. I found a great scarf and I only had to pay about $5 for it. Love it!!

We have no room for a tree and decorations inside such a small space seems kind of ridiculous so there is no decorating to be done. I am hoping that next year we will have a house and an actual living room and then I will be more excited about holiday decorations but for now it is so not happening. I will need to mail my sister's gift but now that the shopping is out of the way I can just sit back and enjoy the holidays.

Fall Shopping Extravaganza

Plane Ticket $435. Car Registration $330. Getting some nice quality fall basics that look good on me and make me feel good. Priceless. So, I did it. I knew that if I waited even a week that It wasn't gonna happen so on the way home from work on Monday just over 24 hours after the Ugg meltdown I drove to Burlington Coat factory and bought a classic Brown Miss Sixty Pea Coat with a hood and a finely detailed pleat in the back.

You can't go wrong with a classic Pea Coat

Then I brazenly drove to Macy's where I proceeded to try on every tall boot in stock until I discovered the comfort and casual chick effortlessness of the Brown Steve Madden suede slouch boot. It only took a minute to fall in love with a camel colored pair of Alfani Flex n Step pumps. The pumps are only about an inch high and have all of this wonderful padding inside so that they feel like Easy Spirits on the inside but still look fashionable on the outside.

I got a similar pump in camel

I got this boot in brown

They were all on sale and will make great additions to my slowly growing wardrobe. A friend of mine was looking at some old (very embarrassing) pics of me and he made the comment "You've never really been into fashion." Way harsh. But it's true. I have never been stylish or even close to trendy. Not for lack of trying, but I just haven't ever had the best eye when it comes to putting things together. And you really need that when you are trying to look good on a budget. I'd buy something just because it was cheap without really considering the garment itself and how it's going to look with other things. So, I'm workin' on it. Sometimes I wonder why I even care. Out of all of the things to care about in the world what difference does it make if I look cute? Well, if it makes me happy and is not hurting anything then who the hell cares why it matters!! If it does it does.

Then Mj booked our airline tickets to Delaware. Whoa! I could feel my anxiety meter going up a bit but for better or for worse I was really glad that I didn't wait because that would have surely been the nail in the coffin for my Fall shopping spree extravaganza. Yeah, our anniversary is next month and Christmas will be here before we know it. I have already started making my little lists of money spent vs planned future expenses vs my budget. But it's OK. I went on a mini shopping spree and the sky didn't fall down. Big surprise there! It really is gonna be OK. Now, the only question is when the heck am I gonna get to wear the jacket and boots. Fall was was in the air last week but today It's supposed to be 80 degrees!

Ugg Anxiety

I have a problem with spending money. It's not what you're probably thinking though. Whereas most people have a problem with spending too much money I have a problem with spending too little. How is that a problem you might wonder. Well, when buying a pair of Ugg boots (that I actually have the money for) causes me to burst into tears unexpectedly while telling Mj about them during our cyber Date....Well, that is when it could be considered a problem.

I'm very organized with my bills. I get paid once a month, pay my bills online once a month, and go to the ATM once a month. I have a set amount of money transferred automatically from my checking to my savings accounts so I don't even have to think about that. A lot of people find the one paycheck a month difficult, but it's no problem at all for me. I know how to make a budget and stick to it.

I was feeling pretty footloose and fancy free when it came to my finances for a change and that felt good. I was looking forward to a few fall clothing purchases I'd been planning on. I happily bought a few shirts and everything was fine until I bought the Ugg boots. Suddenly all of my money anxiety came rushing back to me full force and I began to feel that I shouldn't buy anything at all for myself for the rest of the entire year. What made me think I could buy a pair of $140 Ugg's when I have car registration due ($300!!), an out out state trip planned, a special anniversary outing to plan and Christmas around the corner? It hits me that the only reason I've been feeling ok about money lately is only because I really haven't been spending any. Aside from the necessities like gas and groceries and food out here and there I really haven't spent too much money on myself in a while.

It's not like I buy a lot of things for myself. I don't have the most expensive taste. Well, except for my jeans which I feel are a must after years and years of wearing cheapos!! But, I know when to stop. I have my core set of designer denim that look and feel great so I won't be buying anymore for well...ever. I have one exquisite expensive purse (that I never in a million years would have bought for myself); but that was courtesy of Mj (bless his heart!).

I actually got some off brand cheap Uggs last year and one of the boots actually stretched out around the leg. They didn't even make it one season. I am that person who will take a trip but not want to buy any souvenirs, partake in any activities that cost much money, or even eat at a nice restaurant while I am there. I am usually so thrilled just to be on the darn trip and I feel like I can't spend much more then what it's costing me to travel there. About 3 years ago when money was tighter then ever I actually forgot what it felt like to be in a mall. I stopped going because it was too hard to be there knowing I couldn't buy a single thing and if I needed any clothing item at all for any reason I was only allowed to go to Target, Walmart, or Old Navy. I couldn't even take joy in window shopping. I am okay with buying a top or a pair of shoes here and there but the minute I exceed what is comfortable for me I freak out. Is this what I have to go through every time I want something special just for me that costs more then $100 dollars?

Well, it's pretty ridiculous. I've been saving money since I was 16 years old and I have never had credit card debt beyond what I could reasonably pay off one purchase at a time. I use a credit card for monthly expenses to get a cash back bonus but its within my budget so I can pay it off monthly. I have always done the right thing when it comes to money and finances-it just came naturally to me. So, why can't I indulge every now and then? Part of my rationale for not wanting to is that my fiscal discipline is what got me where I am in the first place and I don't want to mess it up. I am also of the belief that you can't have everything you want. If there is something I want that I don't feel I can reasonably justify on my income then I can't have it. Plain and simple. I may not like it but I can live with it because that's just how it goes. I already feel like I don't save enough although I do what I can, so that reason alone is why I shouldn't be out spending money on expensive items and outings.

I work hard. I save. I am responsible with my money. I know deep down that I deserve the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my labor every now and then but there is always that voice in my head saying "YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!"

So, I am working on allowing myself to live and enjoy things because I do realize that a lifetime of denying myself this and that just because I'm not rich is really not what I want for myself. I will never be a shopaholic. There is only so much money available in my budget for that, but I shouldn't feel bad for using it, within my means. The tears weren't really about the Uggs. I love those cozy boots and I don't regret buying them. What upset me is the anxiety that I so often feel just from buying something that should make me happy.

I still have money coming to me for those two model gigs I did back August. I WILL get those fall items I've been looking forward to and I WILL enjoy it.