I could have skipped this post altogether. I mean, this isn't exactly the Valentine's Day post I expected to write but this is how it went down so I'm sharing it anyways.
My husband hates Valentine's Day. I knew he hated this so called fake Hallmark holiday but for the last four years he's played along. Special deliveries at work, a specially baked dessert, a dinner out. It's always been very low key but we have acknowledged the holiday for my sake, but this year I got ditched. He finally had enough and boycotted the whole thing altogether. We didn't have plans together, but I certainly didn't expect him to leave me at home alone and go out to dinner with anyone else. I find out that he's going to dinner with the guys for burgers after work. Half the guys that went are married. Sounds like the ultimate F you Valentine's Day if you ask me.
Am I hurt? I have to be honest and say yes, but not mortally wounded since I was never really all that crazy about Valentine's anyways. I've never placed much importance on what I got or what we did, but I did enjoy it. I don't see anything wrong with an extra day to celebrate love. He doesn't like the idea that there is a certain arbitrary date on which men specifically, receive a lot of extra pressure to do something that will show love. My husband's tolerance for this day has clearly run it's course. He wasn't having it this year, and while it's a little bit of a bummer, I'm okay with it. And here's why. I love my husband and I know he loves me. I don't need Valentine's day to know this. I don't want him feeling roped into doing something he really doesn't want to on my account. If it's not genuine, there's no point and we didn't get married so we could force each other to do things we really don't want to do. Sometimes we do things we don't want to in marriage for our partner, but Valentine's Day is just not important enough to me that it should qualify as one of those things he does anyway. I see no need to force it upon my husband if he doesn't want to partake. Marriage is about give and take, and it looks like it's my turn to be the one to give on this one.
It was like a parade of sweets, flowers, love notes and special dinners on Instagram, but I didn't have a thing to show off except these little conversation hearts I bought myself at Big Lots. The upside is that I didn't get the chance to OD on sweets or gorge myself at a restaurant. I spent the evening alone watching a movie on Netflix and eating Cheese Quesadilla's with carb stopper tortillas. It was a little bit of a let down to be shut out of the V day festivities, but I realize that my marriage is more then what I did or didn't get on Valentine's day.
A tiny part of me wanted to pout and throw a little hissy fit over it, but I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up. We didn't make plans, so in his mind Valentine's Day was a non thing, however it still meant
something to me so I thought we'd just spend a cozy night at home. I didn't realize we weren't acknowledging it all, since we'd always done so in the past. Whelp. I certainly know now. I told him I felt sad and hurt that he went out, but that's it. No point in getting super offended over something like this, when I have such a wonderful husband. He's kind, generous, and he puts up with all of my crazy ways. We do fun things together all the time, and show our love for each other on other days in other ways. I felt pretty spoiled on my Birthday and Christmas. Not getting this one day is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. After you've been together for a while there comes a point where it just doesn't matter that much anyways. He loves me for who I am, and I have to return the favor even if it means Valentine's Day is a thing of the past.
And yes, I did get him something. Just some football attire he needed. It was not romantic in any way, but I did put a sweet handwritten note with it. I can't really say I got nothing in return though, because I got him.
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