Save The Date

It's so exciting!! I officially have a wedding date. My wedding will be on July 10, 2010. We decided on a location before Christmas but just finalized the contract and paid our $1,000 deposit yesterday. All done by fax and e mail-gotta love it!!

As I was searching for locations there were times I felt myself looking longingly at mansions, wineries, and lush golf course country clubs. Some of these locations were absolutely fabulous. I could only imagine how lavish and fantastic it would be to have a wedding at a place like that. I was not however seduced by the $90 per plate catering costs, $5000 venue fees or $8,000 food minimums. I have a budget and it does not include using the money we have saved for a down payment on a house in order to finance our wedding.

Back to reality. Which is fine, because there were a lot of lovely locations that were within our budget. I couldn't just look at the cost alone- I had to factor in the ever present sales tax and hefty 18-19% gratuity. That adds a lot onto the final tab. I also had to consider the estimated cost of my extras: DJ, Photographer, Officiant, cake, and flowers. This is on top of any costs associated with the facility and food.

We decided that Zosa was just too far to make it convenient for out of town guests. We also felt that the rooms were just a little too pricey. Basically, after the wedding we would be heading back home and our guests that were staying in town would either have to switch hotels or else we might not see them again and it would make it more difficult for them to do the whole tourist thing if they wanted to while they are here. We would have gotten so much more for our money with their great all inclusive package prices but we decided to pass.

MVR was actually the less expensive hotel option but Mj just didn't like it. The upside in addition to cost is the free parking and they provided false flower center pieces. The ceremony location was right behind the pool and was not closed off at all so he did have a good point about that not being ideal. When I crunched numbers to include alcohol, and Hors D'oeuvres I really liked the price though because we had a better chance of staying in the $10,000's. It would not be nearly as stylish as The H and I was willing to accept that but Mj was not.

The H Hotel it is. It is centrally located, the room prices are reasonable and the renovations on the entire hotel will be done in February. It is convenient having the ceremony and reception in the same place. The garden area for the ceremony is beautiful and private. The reception room is intimate and has floor to ceiling glass that looks out onto the garden area. The hotel does the catering, provides staff, tables, chairs, and linens. There were some really scenic locations that I found online but by the time you add in the cost of paying staff and renting tables, chairs, linens, china, bar set up, etc through the catering company the cost seemed way too high so I think this was the best way to go for us. One downside is that they do charge for parking which we can either host or make our guests pay. The upside is that I won't have to buy chair covers because the hotel has nice gold ballroom chairs whereas the MVR had an ugly maroon that I would have wanted to cover.

Garden Ceremony Location

View of the Garden from the Reception Room

I like it that we will have plenty of time to use the facility. There were some places that wanted you in and out in 4-5 hours which I didn't like because I don't want to rush through this. The changing room for the bride is right across from the reception area and is available as early as 10 am. The ceremony venue fee is $1,190. What's nice is that the ceremony location is set up with a sound system and CD player so we won't have to hire a DJ for the ceremony at all. The reception room cost is included in the food prices. We have chosen a reception package that provides one hour unlimited drinks during cocktail hour along with a cheese display, a single plated entree selection, and champagne toast. The cost for this is a very reasonable $55 per person. The food minimum for our room is $3,000 which we will have not problem meeting with our planned 75 guest list. We may add on an additional fruit display. Their bar hosting packages are flexible and we may also add on some extra alcohol.

I want to work on getting our officiant, DJ, and Photographer in place next because those services usually do just one per day so you have to book those well in advance. In my earlier searches for locations I have come across possibilities for all of the other vendors too and have saved the links in a hotmail draft for later reference. I've done most of the research I just have to dig it up and make decisions.

So, the key is to keep the cost of all of my additional vendors as low as possible so as to try and stay within budget. That includes officiant, flowers, photographer, DJ, and cake. I also will have to decide on low budget center pieces and invitations.

New Year's Eve Nap

Our New Year's Eve plans basically consisted of going out to dinner. Mj is not that into the whole New Years Eve party scene and I am not into the cost and the crowds so dinner was just fine for both of us. We went to a nice restaurant and enjoyed a good steak dinner. As if I needed to stuff my face full of any more food then I already have what with the holidays and traveling. But, it's New Years Eve and it will be my last indulgence for a while so I can cleanse my body of all of this ridiculous over eating. I enjoyed my meal and even ordered dessert. I can undo the damage next year right? At the restaurant I saw some girls in their chilly party dresses and unforgiving party shoes and was so glad not to be in their shoes. I was warm and comfortable in Uggs and jeans. I didn't have to try to look all cute just to go out and eat some steak.

We were so tired from traveling that we actually didn't make it until New Years. About an hour before midnight Mj turned the TV to one of the countdown shows. We promptly dozed off within minutes. I woke up to Britney Spears performing. My goodness she is looking better then ever and I really wanted to watch it but I couldn't even stay awake for that and the next thing I know it's 12:32 am and Mj and I are both knocked out.

"Oh no, we missed it. Do you still want champagne?" I said nope and off we went back to sleep.

New Years Day was spent watching movies and relaxing. That is all either of us wanted to do. We did have some champagne and toast to the New Years. A day late, but oh well. Oh, we did toast at dinner too-so technically that should cover it!

It's been a while since I made any New Years resolutions, but here are a few things I want for the New Year:

• Get back to my normal eating [non pigging out] routine.
• Get better at cooking.
• Start all over with Rosetta Stone and move forward with learning Spanish.
• Reduce my anxiety and stress. Be happy. Bad things in life happen-just deal with it.
• Spend little to no money on wants. There is no room in the budget for anything but the wedding.
• Buy a house, plan and enjoy and amazing wedding, and go to Europe for my honeymoon.
• Earn more money. No plan whatsoever.......
• Exercise. Doesn't have to be at the gym.

Meet The Parents

Delaware is a place I never in a million years ever would have thought I would visit. Mj is actually the only person I've ever met in my life from there. It's not as cold as I thought it would be. We missed the storms thank goodness but there are still various piles of shoveled snow on the sides of the road.I enjoyed our trip but it's so good to be back home. We stayed the first three nights at Dover Air Force base lodging for only $30 per night. It even has free Wi Fi. Can't beat that. The room are pretty nice too!!

It reminds me a lot of Jacksonville, NC where my older sister currently lives. They are virtually interchangeable which perhaps could be said of many small towns in the South and the East Coast. You have your Super Walmart, Restaurants, fast food joints, and a small downtown area. It's flat and there are trees on either side of the highway that really isn't a freeway. There is lots of greenery and the most adorable little doll house like homes made of brick and aluminum siding. They have porches, sun rooms, and basements. No stucco to be found anywhere. All of the businesses look like charming brick houses. They even have Amish people in Delaware. The girls wear loose gray dresses, black sweaters, black boots, and white bonnets. It was freezing out and these two young girls were wearing that and riding a horse and buggy. I couldn't believe my eyes. The brick downtown jailhouse is more charming than any jailhouse I've ever seen before.

Definitely not a Super Max Prison

Amish Buggy. I can't believe people still live this way!

I met Mj's mom and dad and a bunch of his other relatives. It was really nice to have the opportunity to meet before the wedding. Everyone was really nice and welcoming. After we left Dover where most of his family lives we drove down to Virginia to meet mom. We stopped at a place called Cracker Barrel for breakfast which has the best pancakes I have ever tasted before. Brown and crispy at the edges unlike most restaurant pancakes which are pale and flavorless. The traffic was horrible so it took us about 7 hours but his mom had dinner ready for us when we got there and we had a good time. We spent the night there before heading out the next day to Washington D.C.

I have never been there before and I would definitely like to go back when it's not so darn cold. It was about 32 degrees. I was doing OK the whole trip because my exposure to the arctic conditions came in short spurts but I found myself outside for about an hour straight as we walked around DC and I thought I was getting frostbite. Seriously. My face was numb. My left hand was hurting and my lips were frozen. We checked out two museums at the Smithsonian.

Natural History Museum

We also got to see the huge White House Christmas tree. For some silly reason I thought we were going to be able to walk up to the White House but that was not the case. Security reasons and all I suppose, considering it is the president's house. We were able to see it from behind wire bars and trees. We had nothing to eat the whole day except a shared street vendor hot dog which was absolutely delicious so we took the subway back to our car and went to dinner. One of Mj's friends met us there. My hands literally had pins and needles as the blood began circulating back into them. We stayed the last night at the Hyatt that cost more then our three nights at Dover AFB and was extremely nice although we didn't really get to enjoy it much. We went to bed early to get ready for our 4:30am wake up call so that we could make our 6:45 am flight.

The Garden Room view from our Hotel Room. That's Mj walking towards the check out counter.

At the airport I stood under falling snow. So what right? But as a born and raised Cali girl that is something I have never actually done before. I've seen it for the first time in College and been in Atlanta when it had snowed but that is the extent of it. I thought it would be wet coming down but it's so light and fluffy!!

The flight out here wasn't so bad. Mj and I had the row to ourselves and we kept fairly occupied with reading and the in flight movie. The way home was entirely another story. We sat on the runway for about 2 hours while they de iced the plane. I was in and out of sleep the whole time so I don't really remember. Then our flight from Baltimore to LA was expected to take 5 hours and 11 minutes!! Towards the end of the flight it was so hot I had to take my shirt off and my butt was killing me. Due to the delay we missed our connecting flight and got home a later then expected. We were exhausted. All we wanted to do was get home and take a nap so we could rest up before our NYE dinner.

I always have thought that a couple's ability to travel together is a reflection of the kind of relationship they have. The ex husband and I traveled horribly together. It was stressful and worrisome to the point where it overshadowed excitement over the trip itself and it certainly was a reflection of how bad our relationship was. Things could not be more different with Mj and I. Things did go wrong on our trip here and there but as long as we were together and just went with the flow it was fine.

It is so good to be home. Did I already say that?

Christmas Break

My Christmas break started out with a bang. Instead of spending the first day of it sleeping in Mj and I were up at 7 am to go to Home Depot. You see, I accidentally flushed something quite large down the toilet. It fell from the overhead cabinet just as I was flushing and I was just like....oh CRAP! I went to the bathroom that morning at Home Depot where we picked up supplies and tools so that he could take the whole toilet apart and get the darn thing out. He is so handy. Thank goodness he was here. He hadn't done it before but watched a video on You Tube and handled the whole thing like a pro. I felt so bad.


I had a wonderful Christmas and am just thrilled to be on Christmas break. I feel so free! We spent Christmas Eve at mom's house and spent the night. I didn't really want to spend the night at first but I am so glad that we did. It was fun and I love my family. I love this time of year. My little sis was in town from school. Mom, Mj, little sis and I went to the movies to see Brother's. Good movie. Mom made a simple dinner of lasagna, salad and bread for dinner and it was delicious. We had some family and friends over. Mj and I spent the night on the tiny twin day bed that I begged my parents for when I was in middle school and woke up Christmas day to my Dad making breakfast which is pretty much the only meal he will cook. Then we all opened gifts. It was such a relaxing day. So relaxing that we all spent the whole day in our pajamas! We just hung around talking and doing a whole lot of nothing. I love it that Mj is comfortable just hanging out with my family also. He fits right in. It was a really nice day. We left around 5pm because we needed to get home to pack.

At my job break begins the day before Christmas Eve and we don't have to go back until January 4th. Definitely one of the perks of the job. It's so nice to have this time off. It is giving me the chance to travel to meet Mj's family and save my vacation days which I have been holding onto as much as possible so I will have enough for our wedding and honey moon.


We are in Delaware right now. We got here yesterday and will be heading back home just in time to spend New Year's Eve at home. Hopefully the visit with his family goes well. They all live far away but of course I want them to like me.


More about the trip later.

Mean People Suck

I was so determined to skip the whole angry and irritated phase and not allow myself to waste any energy on being upset. Bad things happen. They just do. There is nothing you can do about it so keep moving forward and don't let it get to you right? But after a day of looking at the two ugly rows of deep grooves that run along the driver side of my new car hitting three different panels I finally got angry. I last saw my car on Saturday so it happened sometime between Saturday night and Monday morning. Although I didn't notice it until I walked out to my car on Monday after work, I am pretty sure it happened at home during that time. It is obvious that it was an intentional act. Someone literally walked along the side of my car with a key or some other sharp object and dug it along the side for probably no good reason at all. I have no enemies that I am aware of. Why would someone do that? And now I am left with another expense that I don't really have the money let alone the time to spend on fixing it.

Yesterday was just one of those days. It started off fine. I did a bit of going back and forth with some different wedding location people. They are all booked for Saturday viewings until next year and the only other time to go is when I am at work. I don't want to miss out on available dates for the other locations but don't want to make a decision until we explore these other options. I already know that once the holidays are over all kinds of brides to be are going to come out of the wood works and start booking dates during the ever popular July.

I got a call from Chrysler demanding their $425 dollars that unbeknownst to me is apparently 14 days past due. When I turned in my lease I was never asked for money but it's in very tiny tiny print in my four foot long lease agreement so I should have insisted on site that the woman who collected my car take my money even though she didn't ask or tell me it was due immediately. I assumed I should wait until I get an invoice. I went to pick up my two prescriptions after a long day of work and find that only one had been approved so now I have to e mail my doctor and hopefully go back again and pick it up between today and Friday. I have some packages I need to mail but with the holidays I am not sure I can fit it in on lunch and by the time I get off work it's too late.

Just a bunch of little irritations and frustrations on top of the car vandalism and by the time I got home I was just really tired and upset. That much hated out of control feeling that there are things to do and no time to do it and that recurring stress about money got the best of me. But this time instead of an empty house and being left alone with my sad thoughts I had Mj to greet me at the door. He wraps his arms around me and tells me that everything is going to be OK and because he is there I know that it is. He reminds me that I don't have to handle everything on my own anymore and that he is there to help.

So, I tried to skip the whole getting upset about the fact that some mean person who sucks decided to vandalize my property but instead had a delayed reaction and got upset the day after. I have had my little meltdown moment so now I am OK. I will deal with the car damage next year. Mj has so kindly offered to go view the 3 military base wedding locations today so that we can make a final decision. He is also going to take care of mailing my packages.

Moving on.

Clueless Christmas Shopping

I didn't necessarily plan on doing my Christmas shopping yesterday. I just knew I needed to do it and I figured Monday was as good a day as any because the crowds are only going to get worse as we get closer to the big day. I only buy gifts for my immediate family so I don't ever usually do a lot of shopping which is simple. I just don't feel the need to buy something for every single friend and they don't either so it works. I am doing secret santa but I don't do cards or do co worker gifts. Am I a scrooge? Anyhow.

I walked into the mall already feeling frustrated because I honestly didn't know what to get everyone and I just didn't want to be at the mall. My first stop was Victoria's Secret and the line was half way through the store almost making me not want to find anything I want for anyone there. I got my little sis some soft lacy Angel's by VS panties from there and used a $10 off coupon (1 of 2!!) that I have. Then I went to Macy's. I knew I was going to get dad some cologne. He loves cologne and for years and years we refused to get it for him because that's all he ever wanted and for a while that is all we got him but it dawned on me that I hadn't gotten it for him in a long time. So, that was pretty easy. I got him a Hugo Boss cologne and body gel set. Hubby mentioned that he wanted a robe. I knew the Alfani ones were going to be on door buster clearance today but I looked at them and they just seemed a bit flimsy so I got him a nice Black Nautica Robe one which was on sale and I was able to use my coupon for it. I feel the most frustrated about my mom's gift. She has tons of jewelry, clothes upon clothes, and there wasn't any one thing that told me, "Yes, get that for mom." So, I did the Macy's gift card thing which I kind of hate. She does love to shop and she loves Macy's. I was going to do the same for my big sis but when I got to Walgreen's to pick up that Visa gift card I decided to get her a snuggie instead. I know, I know, those things are so weird but sometime earlier this year she was talking about how she thought they were cool and I literally thought she was joking but she wasn't. All of the snuggie colors are kind of awful but they have a leopard print one out. It's a stylish snuggie if there ever was one and so like my sister!! I got her an i tunes gift card to go with it.

So that's that. Mission accomplished in about 2 1/2 hours and I stayed within a reasonable budget which is always a huge factor in everything. I love gift giving and I really wish I could spend much, much more on the people that I love. It's so much fun buying something for someone that you just know they will love. I think that everyone will like the gifts that I chose but because I just didn't know what to get them I kept putting it off and it was turning into a chore instead of a joy. Oh, and I did get something for myself. I had a $15 off coupon at Express so as usual my goal is to go in and find one of their $19.50 items which is usually the cheapest item they carry. I found a great scarf and I only had to pay about $5 for it. Love it!!

We have no room for a tree and decorations inside such a small space seems kind of ridiculous so there is no decorating to be done. I am hoping that next year we will have a house and an actual living room and then I will be more excited about holiday decorations but for now it is so not happening. I will need to mail my sister's gift but now that the shopping is out of the way I can just sit back and enjoy the holidays.