Clutter Crazy

I am not allowed to do dishes anymore. Mj found hamburger meat in one of the pans and bleu cheese on one of the plates after I "washed" them. The problem is not that I am a miserable dishwasher. I can clean with the best of them. I am not the greatest cook but I always try to make sure I am the one who does the dishes and cleans the kitchen to compensate. The problem is that I can't see. By the time I get home from work it's dark. By the time we finish eating dinner it's even darker and the kitchen light has been broken since well before Mj came back. I am in there scrubbing pots and pans and plates that I can't even actually tell if I've gotten clean because of the poor lighting. Mj just has to re wash everything and so I have been banned. I will definitely get in there on the weekends but apparently during the week it's just not such a good idea until that light is fixed.

That is just one more challenge of my current living space. The other issue is clutter. Everywhere. I can't find my socks or anything else. I can barely shove my clothes into drawers. Every surface has stuff on it. It is driving me MAD!! I don't know how those obsessive hoarders can stand being buried in all that stuff. Of course it is an illness and I am beginning to think I have one too but in reverse. Realistically, I know I do not have OCD but I definitely do have an issue with clutter. I need to be organized. I need the counter tops to be empty. I need for everything to be in it's place at least most of the time. Right now it is impossible to have hardly anything in it's place because there is barely a place for anything and it is quite simply driving me nuts.

Organization is more then just having everything in it's place for me. When my living space is out of whack I feel like my life is too. Same thing with my finances and my food but that's a whole other blog post. I guess it's some kind of control thing and it comes in handy at times to be so disciplined in these areas but right now it's just driving me crazy. Right now I would really like to be able to see my pajamas laying across the bed haphazardly [instead of forcibly cramming them into the too small drawer] and not care one way or another. I'd rather see a messy pile of paperwork on the table and not care if it stays there or not. I want to put things away and organize but there is no space to do it. So there things sits and there isn't anything I can do about it. I have already done everything I can to maximize my space. I can't believe I'm saying this but I have kind of given up. Not totally of course , but I am just accepting there isn't much I can do. Which is probably a good thing.

I can hardly believe I have lived in such a small space for so many years. Most people I know can't even imagine such a thing. When I tell them I live in a studio their eyes kind of bug out a little. It is definitely not ideal but I did what I had to do.

The close proximity to Mj doesn't bother me at all. I actually enjoy having him right there all the time. The idea of him being far far away in another room or downstairs when I am upstairs in bed actually feels kind of lonely. Right now we can pretty much see each other and talk to each other all the time from any location. Where he is I am and vise versa. That's kind of what happens in a studio and I kinda like that part.

But, if it means that I will have enough room in my closet and less crap shoved into every nook and cranny I am really thinking that I could probably get used to it. I know he's coming to bed eventually even if he is in a far away land down the hall.

Burger Night

Last Week we stumbled upon Oroweat Sandwich Thins at Henry's Market inspiring Mj to declare Sunday burger night. I love bread so having a burger animal style with meat and lettuce to avoid all of the carbs and some of the calories in bread just doesn't cut it for me. These Sandwich thins are kind of pita style and they are only 100 calories each. You get the bread you crave but with way less calories, carbs and a whole lot more fiber. They cost $3.50 which really isn't all that bad.

Of course the burgers we used were extra lean. I topped mine with bleu cheese crumbles [my latest obsession], onions, 1 strip of bacon, ketchup and mustard. Mj topped his with sauteed mushrooms and onions, 1 strip of bacon, provolone cheese, ketchup, and miracle whip. Can you say delicious? We paired it with some high fiber Bush's baked beans and it was quite the delicious, simple, and not overly gluttonous meal. I got to have my burger and my bread. Oh, and of course nothing goes better with burgers then beer. For that we had Michelob Ultra in keeping with our carb saving theme.

All this, while watching the Saints Vs the Vikings. Sounds like a perfect Sunday dinner to me.

Saturday Morning Laziness

It may have been a short week but I tell you what, it sure did NOT feel like it. I've been adding an extra hour onto each work day in the morning so I can get next Friday off and it's wearing me out. It felt like all the house hunting and wedding stuff was just overlapping and getting really crazy all at the same time.

Last night was date night. Mj met me at the door with some pretty pink carnations before we rushed off to dinner. We were both starved. Then we went to the movies to see The Book of Eli. It was a late night making sleeping in that much more precious the next day.

I just love delicious and cozy Saturday mornings that I get to linger in bed and take my time doing anything at all. My time is my own and doing something or nothing at all is up to me. It feels like I haven't had one of these in a while but I am having it right now and it feels so good. Mj had a work function to go to so it's just me here. It's quiet and I can hear the water fountain outside.

I am still in my jammies and getting ready to leisurely turn on the TV and decide what I want for breakfast at 10:21 am on a Saturday morning. This is the life!

Oh crap! I can't get the TV to work. The new flat screen with HD is way too complicated for the likes of me. But that's OK. I can get caught up on Make it or Break it and Teen Mom online.

We Are Officially House Hunters

When I was a little girl back in the days when I used to live at home and share a room with my big sis I used to cry in the morning when I overslept and woke up late. Even then, as a youngster there was that whole sense of some sort of loss of control and fear having to do with something so unplanned. Yes, I am a control freak and even if I wasn't able to identify with that back as a youngster I am sure that's where the tears came from.

So, I don't cry anymore when I oversleep but it still sucks. Good thing it doesn't happen all that often. Yeah, because of the whole control freak thing I often double and triple check that my alarm is set just to avoid this so I don't know what happened. I woke up at 6:30am and needed to be at work at 7:00am. It's about a 20 minute drive so basically I managed to get out of the house in 14 minutes [I was 4 minutes late].

Last weekend was a three day weekend but exhausting nonetheless. The day I found my dress I was out house hunting all day and then dress hunting by night. When I was trying on dresses I felt like I was on Say Yes To The Dress and during the day I felt like I was on House Hunters. Without the video camera's of course. Mj and I LOVE that show and watch it non stop. Saturday was our very first day of going out and looking. Sunday we went to Mj's friend's house to watch football and then there was more house hunting on Monday. I couldn't go out today because I have to work but Mj looked at a great condo that is a short sale. It looks like we are actually going to put in an offer on it just as soon as he can shuttle the paperwork back and forth between me and our realtor. I'm not too worried that I haven't even seen it. He is way pickier then I am so I trust his judgement. With so much competition you have to move quick.

House hunting is tough right now. There is inventory out there but in our target area there are lots of foreclosures and short sales. You might have 10+ offers for every property and often times you get priced out because some are paying over asking price. I am READY to move. It's been close to five years in a 400 square foot studio and I think it's time. I am yearning for room to put things and space to exist because right now we really have none. Things are so cluttered sometimes I can't even stand it. Clutter aggravates me to no end and in a space that small with two people it's inevitable. Everywhere I turn there is clutter and stuff crammed into every nook and cranny. The lower bar on my closet where my clothes hang perpetually wrinkled fell down because it's so overloaded.

I am working on our budget and even after having all of this time to digest this the thought of taking on another mortgage and simultaneously taking on a rental property is extremely frightening. There is so little margin for error financially. All it takes is one month without a renter to smash my carefully thought out little budget to pieces.

I just have to take a deep breath and hope for the best on this one and hopefully that is what we will get.

  Cont'd: House Hunting Stress

The Dress

My fitting room. One of these is MY dress!

When I walked into David's Bridal Saturday it was a madhouse. There were women everywhere trying on all kinds of dresses. Babe, my bridal consultant could barely find me a room. When I looked at these bridal dresses in the plastic garment bag they all looked ugly. It is so hard to tell what the darn dress is going to look like. There is just so much fabric there and it's just so massive that you really can't tell what's what until you see it on a body.

I scanned the aisle with my size on it and there were only about 2 that looked decent to me. Babe started pulling dresses from my list of favorites that I brought in and dress hunting was in full swing. My mom and three friends were there to help me make this important decision and I must say I really did feel special being the center of attention as I put on these gorgeous dresses. I felt like I was on "Say Yes to The Dress" except there were no cameras and I was not trying on thousand dollar dresses. All I knew going into this is that I wanted to try strapless and that I did like the pick up style on the bottom. This is not my first marriage so I was considering Ivory but there is just something about a pristine white dress that I couldn't resist.

The first dress I put on was perfect. It made me feel like a princess and it hung beautifully on me. I think it was one of the two I just randomly grabbed at the beginning. It wasn't on my favorites list and I'm not exactly sure where it came from but there it was and I liked it. The second dress was a corset style that showed off my shape a little and I kept it on my list as a possibility. Every other dress thereafter was measured against those two.

Dress after dress I tried on. Still sticking with my 2 favorites but just wanting to make sure there was nothing I liked better. The #2 fav dress with it's lace up style may have eliminated my need (and the cost) of alterations but they only had it in a size 6. I tried on a similar one in a 2 and it fit perfectly but I went in there to buy a dress that day and didn't want to order one from another state without knowing if it would for sure work or not.

I kept going back to that first dress in my mind anyways. I love the silver beading on the bodice and the pick up style ruching down the skirt. It probably didn't make it onto my favorites because it was priced at $499. Ideally, I was trying to keep my dress around $300-$450. But, I did get $50 off due to the sale and I feel pretty good about staying under $500. In fact, there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to go above that anyhow!! I think I must be between a size 2 and 4 which sucks. It's a strapless and I want it to feel secure around my body. It will have to be taken in a bit at the waist and shortened at an additional cost but bottom line is it's my dress.

It's an exhausting process. Those dresses are big and heavy. They can practically stand up on their own and you can't really get into and out of them by yourself. It took about 2 1/2 hours to make a decision on the bridal dress and I found a bridesmaid dress in about 30 minutes.

My Bridesmaid dresses

Some of those bridesmaid dresses are downright ugly and look a heck of a lot better in the catalog then they do in person. I wanted something cute and re wearable for my bridesmaids and I was afraid I wasn't going to find it in Pink but I did!! It is a beautiful soft pastel pink (although it doesn't quite look like it online) and will be perfect for a Summer wedding. It is sateen and has a matte finish and not some gaudy satin shiny thing. It even has pockets! They will wear a black pin on flower at the waist to complete the look and incorporate my 2nd color. This is a chic not overly formal look that I was going for. They will get $20 off their dresses because I bought my bridal dress there and my out of state bridesmaid will have no problem getting it.

I put my dress on layaway so I could spread out the payments. It will stay at the store for 60 days when I will make my final payment. I can either take it home that day and come back later or send it straight into alterations.

I kinda felt like part of the David's Bridal wedding machine while I was in there but I think going there was the right choice for me. They have great dresses for reasonable prices. That penny pincher inside of me says I should have just stuck to the $99 dresses and called it a day. I am very frugal and don't have extravagent taste, but I simply would not have been satisfied with a simple plain dress-not that one like that could not have been pretty. This is a BIG party afterall, so give me just one day to do it up big for a change. I wanted the dress to be unlike anything I would ever wear again. I wanted an amazing dress not just an OK dress. Don't I deserve that for once? I am thinking that maybe I do.

I just bought the most expensive and elaborate dress I will ever own in my lifetime. Never mind that I will only wear it for about 10 hours. Mission accomplished.

Photographer: Check

It's no wonder that you don't usually see too much of the wedding reception dancing shenanigans in wedding pictures. Unless you hire a photographer for 8 hours there is only so many events you can fit in and it seems the standard time frame that is offered is 6 hours and it's usually a couple hundred extra per hour over that. Couple shots, bridal party shots, family shots. I want detail shots and candid shots too. I want them to be good and I don't want to rush through dinner and cake cutting just so we can get to the bouquet toss before the photographer has to leave.

I got the sign that I was looking for to help me make my photographer decision. Patrick called and left a very nice follow up message and also offered to add an extra hour onto his services. His portfolio originally caught my eye first and then I kept going back and forth second guessing myself. He captured some really great moments in his pictures. He has a photojournalism style that I was looking for. Very artistic and candid. I will get the basic posed group shots but everything else should be candid. That extra hour will help us to fit more shots in with hopefully less rushing. This is a special day and I don't want to motor through it.

For $1495 the package includes 2 photographers which will be great for maximizing time. We get four 8 x10's, ten 5x7's and a DVD of all images with reproduction rights. I don't even want to buy an album because I think it will be way fun to do my own with Walmart or Snapfish. I created one already as a gift to Mj that documented our first nine months together before he fled the country. I had a great time doing it although it took me forever because I wanted to get everything just right.

I don't really think "engagement" photos are necessary. I have tons of pictures with Mj. None professional, but we are about to have a bunch of professional pics so maybe it's something we can save for a year when we are not already spending thousands of dollars on a wedding. Do we really have to have that poster size shot engagement shot of us sitting on an easel at our reception? I think it might be just as nice to have some candid shot of us during the time we were dating and falling in love with each other. I have such fond memories of that time so why not?

I am thinking of doing our couple shots before the ceremony starts. It means that he will see me before I walk down the aisle. I am not sure that I like that idea but I think we might get better shots if we have the chance to do those without all eyes on us . We will feel more comfortable and relaxed. This way we can go straight into bridal party and family shots right after the ceremony and hopefully make at least some of our cocktail hour. That's when the drinks are free and unlimited [well, we are paying for it but you know what I mean] and I would like to mingle and enjoy it.

Huge sigh of relief that this decision is made. I was about ready to lose my mind. I am still on track budget wise too! Now that the DJ and photographer are booked I can relax a little bit.

All that is left cake and It won't be too hard for me to decide on that. I want to order and get the invitations out and THEN deal with that. I am hoping that a co worker can do the bridal party flowers. We probably will not be using flowers elsewhere as they are just too expensive. If I can come up with something creative for centerpieces that involve flowers I will but I will likely be buying them wholesale and just kinda doing it myself. We shall see. I have decided not to hire an officiant. Instead I will enlist the services of one of our friends for that. I think it will be more special that way and of course save us about $200-300 dollars.

Dress shopping tomorrow! One of my bridesmaids will be there and my mom is coming down to help me decide.