My older sister who was supposed to be my maid of honor has been officially kicked out of my Bridal Party. She's pregnant and although I have heard stories of bride's kicking pregnant ones out of their wedding party because they don't want their pictures "ruined" that's not why I'm doing it.
I had to kick her out because she may not be able to come at all. She is a high risk pregnancy because she is older and has fibroids. She is due August 24Th and will likely be put on bed rest at some point during her pregnancy so it is unlikely that she will be on a plane around July 10Th when I get married. She still is saying "we'll see" but I doubt it and I don't think either one of us needs the pressure of worrying about if she will be in it or not. If she does make it somehow I will be thrilled to have her there whether she is in the bridal party or not.
I am so incredibly disappointed by this. So is she. She lives in a podunk town, hardly has any friends, and was really looking forward to a visit back home. I have to look at the bigger picture though. She had two miscarriages and has desperately wanted a baby for a while now. This baby being born healthy takes precedence over anything else. I am finally going to be an auntie. It's about time one of us gave my parents some grand kids! I am happy for her even if it means she will miss a very special day in my life.
I currently have 3 bridesmaids. My longtime friend from college who now lives in Atlanta and a good friend who currently works for the same district as I do. My little sister will be my maid of honor now. Mike also has 3 stable groomsmen he can count on being there. He has a fourth that may or may not be able to make it so whether or not I ask a 4Th person to be in it will depend on that.
It's funny because I originally didn't even think I would have bridesmaids. I'm not a queen who requires "attendants" surrounding me. I didn't want anyone to have to go out and spend money on a dress just for me. That's why it was really important that I find cute re wearable dresses for them. I wish it were not $135 but for coordination purposes it just seemed simpler to go with David's Bridal. Once I started planning it just felt right to have my close friends and sisters to be part of this. I want that memory of them standing up there with me on my wedding day. I'm not into having an army of bridesmaids just because.
I never wanted a huge bridal party but I really did want my big sister there.
On Shaky Ground
2.02.2010
I felt the earthquake yesterday but it seems like no one else but me ever does. I was laying in bed when I felt it rattling beneath me. At just the moment where I might have started getting scared and was really wishing that hubby were here and that I was not alone it stopped. I have felt shaking before and usually figure I must be imagining it but I was totally validated when I heard that it happened at 6:19am, was a 5.5 on the Richter scale and based out of Rosarito, Mexico. I am a regular seismograph.
My life is feeling a little shaky right now too. House hunting has taken over my life to the point where I am just plain old worn out. The contract is signed, the financing is -hopefully- secured and we have our final design browse appointment Sunday. Yes, super bowl Sunday and it's a 1 1/2 drive!! It was the only time we could get with hubby being out of town this week and the one right down the street being closed over the weekend.
Oh, and get this. A foreclosure property that fit our price range came up yesterday. It has a deck and looks pretty nice from the four pictures we saw. It has fees but they are low and it's right in the middle of a lush golf course. It would mean doing that nasty commute but it's priced lower then the new house. Timing is everything. It was comforting to hear Mj say he still likes ours better because all of those what if's started running through my mind. I hate that feeling of second guessing yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. Especially on something so HUGE!!
I do expect things to calm down now that a decision is made but there are still so many variables. And the number crunching continues. What will our final interest rate end up being? How much does it cost to lock the loan rate? How much of the interest rate will points buy down? How many of those darn points can we buy? It's crazy how you have to sign your life away and pay $3,000 up front when all you can see of your so called house is a pile of dirt and there are still so many variables that will have a major impact on our monthly payment. They can't even tell us exactly when the house will be done so we can move in. We have heard April and May. All we really know is that it will be about 60 days after they pour the foundation. Whenever that is. Sigh.
This is a good thing. I can't wait to move into a HOUSE!! But it's scary too and I am just hoping for the best.
My life is feeling a little shaky right now too. House hunting has taken over my life to the point where I am just plain old worn out. The contract is signed, the financing is -hopefully- secured and we have our final design browse appointment Sunday. Yes, super bowl Sunday and it's a 1 1/2 drive!! It was the only time we could get with hubby being out of town this week and the one right down the street being closed over the weekend.
Oh, and get this. A foreclosure property that fit our price range came up yesterday. It has a deck and looks pretty nice from the four pictures we saw. It has fees but they are low and it's right in the middle of a lush golf course. It would mean doing that nasty commute but it's priced lower then the new house. Timing is everything. It was comforting to hear Mj say he still likes ours better because all of those what if's started running through my mind. I hate that feeling of second guessing yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. Especially on something so HUGE!!
I do expect things to calm down now that a decision is made but there are still so many variables. And the number crunching continues. What will our final interest rate end up being? How much does it cost to lock the loan rate? How much of the interest rate will points buy down? How many of those darn points can we buy? It's crazy how you have to sign your life away and pay $3,000 up front when all you can see of your so called house is a pile of dirt and there are still so many variables that will have a major impact on our monthly payment. They can't even tell us exactly when the house will be done so we can move in. We have heard April and May. All we really know is that it will be about 60 days after they pour the foundation. Whenever that is. Sigh.
This is a good thing. I can't wait to move into a HOUSE!! But it's scary too and I am just hoping for the best.
Centerpiece For The Not So Crafty Bride
2.01.2010
My Do It Yourself Centerpiece Idea
Mj bought me some pretty pink carnations last week for date night and it didn't take long before I was cutting them up and performing evil experiments on this unsuspecting innocent bouquet to get ideas for my centerpieces.Unless I added much more flowers they looked sparse and kinda boring in the vases. I thought baby's breath might add to it but I didn't want it to look like a lack luster homemade arrangement. I cut of the tops off and floated them in a bowl hoping they would stand up straight but they didn't. They kind of float a bit on it's side although with two or three in a pretty glass bowl of water might look OK or a little lame.
I wandered into Michael's yesterday hoping for some inspiration. In the wedding aisle I ran into two other brides one of which had the exact same date as me-July 10. She was a newbie on the block barely getting started so we shared our wisdom with her about navigating this whole wedding planning thing. Look at me! Only 2 months into planning and I feel like a veteran.
Well, I found this really pretty little clear rounded bowl shaped vase, artificial flower petals, pink stones, and some black sticky dots. When I got home I put one of the carnation tops inside the round bowl filled up with water. I dropped in about 6 stones which look really pretty at the bottom adding some depth. I plan to use the artificial flower petals to scatter around it and the black crystal stickers to bedazzle it a little and incorporate my other color black. It will sit on a rounded mirror with 3 votive candles that are provided by the hotel. I can even use a couple for the cake table.
Everything I bought today cost me only $34.00. I'll need to go back and buy an additional 9 round bowls at $1.00 each if I decide for sure to do this and I will probably have to only buy one bouquet of a dozen pink carnations. I might buy some real pink flower petals to scatter also depending on the cost.
My only concern is that they might be too small. When I look at pics of other centerpieces on the net I am not so sure if this is enough but I don't see the point of putting too much money into this. If I can think of something small to add on I might. Like maybe a tall thick black candle? Or maybe I can just add pink light to the bowl to brighten it up with a submersible LED light from 100candles.com which will cost $20 for 12. It's nothing grand or elaborate but I think it fits me and my style perfectly. I don't consider myself to be all that crafty so I am pretty thrilled that I have managed to come up with something that might work that I can actually make myself.
All together this will cost about $55 bucks and that fits right into my budget.
We Bought Ourselves A House
1.31.2010
So, we did it! We got the house. We went over on Friday and signed the final contract. We already had our initial browse design appointment and we have a final one set for next Sunday. I am filled with a combination of fear and relief.
For me this is no different then any other year. You sacrifice. You live within your means. You don't always get everything you want. And you save. Even if you can think of no particular reason to do so.
This was a very difficult decision for us to make. Mj tends to worry a little less then I do about money and finances and he wasn't so sure if I was going to go for this. It's about $25K above what I felt our bottom line budget was. I crunched numbers and ran it every which way I could and decided that if we come up with some more cash to buy our interest rate down with points then we could make it work. Even if we don't end up doing this in the end I need to know that it's at least an option.
People think I'm crazy for being so fanatical about savings and finances. Some people come out of the womb with a Coach purse and I came out with a savings account. I got my first job at Ross Dress for Less at 16 and have been putting money aside ever since. It has served me well over the years. Even if I don't make a whole lot when I have needed money for big important purchases it has been there. I say no to shopping, trips, and lots of other things I want all the while this money has been sitting in the bank. That's what you have to do. If you dip into it every time you want something its going to disappear and not be there when you really need it. Well, now is one of those times. Most of what Mj saved over this year he was gone that we thought we would use as a down payment has towards paying off some bills. If we need what's left of my life savings to get into this house then so be it. It's tough to let go of though. It's been comforting to know it's there even if I never touched it.
We may not have any money left over for new furniture after we get the necessary washer, dryer, and refrigerator. There aren't going to be any extras added onto our wedding package. We will still go somewhere but we won't be going to Europe for our honeymoon now. Certain sacrifices have to be made in order to get what you truly want.
Unfortunately, it is not cheap to live in this state in this county even right now when the housing market the way it is. I want to have a place that we can happily and comfortably live in for at least the next ten years and I think we have found it in this house. All my life I have really settled when it comes to a lot of different things including where I live. I have lived in places I really didn't like to keep my rent low. I have settled for a tiny studio for the last five years and for the first time I am not going to have to do that. Even though I am scared it feels kind of good too.
One of the things I love about Mj is his willingness to change and be flexible. He is not used to being on a budget but I have worked one out for him and he's okay with it because he understands the bigger picture.
House Hunting Drama
1.27.2010
It's so hard to find a house that you like. Well, let me rephrase that. One you like AND can afford. One house we went into smelled like moldy cat and the other was missing the front portion of the stove. Never seen that before. There is always something and you typically can expect that you are never going to find everything you wanted in one house. It's either price, location, the size of the yard or that extra sink you won't get. Unless your pockets are super deep and sometimes even then something has to give.
Last week we looked at a new build on our way home from another day of house hunting with our realtor. She happened to mention a new KB Homes Community and it was on our way home so we stopped in. I love looking at model homes even when I'm not in the market. We really liked it but quickly put it out of our head as an option. It's too expensive.
We kept looking. We put in an offer on a Short Sale condo in Eastlake. The price is right but we are dismayed by the $433 monthly fees. There Mello-Roos AND HOA's everywhere you look in that area and it can eat up your budget in one swallow. The commutes not all that great either. We already know we can't afford to live centrally and we would prefer a detached home but in this market you can't be too choosy.
Days go by and we hear nothing. We start getting cold feet about the commute and can't seem to stomach those high monthly fees. Mj's thoughts turn back to that new build. It's about a minute from where we live. We already know the commute is not all that bad and the HOA totals only $135. It's more expensive but maybe, just maybe we can do it because we won't have $400 plus in fees.
We call and find out they have only one lot left in this phase so we scramble around getting paperwork together and our check book so that we can snap up the last one in this price range. We submit to our 3rd credit check in about as many months because the builder will pay $6700 towards closing costs if we use them.
And then more waiting. Meanwhile, a different realtor who is trying to get us a foreclosure tells us he has a house for us. We don't know the price yet and likely won't be able to get a look inside for another week. What to do? Do we sign a contract on the new house when there is a possibility of another lurking?
Today I find out we are approved for the new build. The lending agent is going to send me an e mail outlining what we need to pay off and what additional documentation we are going to need to provide. At about the same time I find out that the foreclosure is going to be too expensive for us anyways. They have another one but they don't know the price yet. I wasn't totally thrilled with the pics but it's hard to tell without seeing it in person. I am already thinking this likely won't work and I probably won't like it better then the new build so I am able to put that out of my head and focus on trying to get the new house.
The cold hard numbers show up in my inbox. Not only did we get pre approved but it also allows for about $10,000 in upgrade design options. Time to do a happy dance right? Well, not so fast. The bank can approve us for a million bucks but it makes no difference if we can't afford the monthly payment. I talk it over with the selling agent but it's not looking too good. I am absolutely not willing to take on a monthly mortgage over what I feel we can comfortably afford. If it means we have to walk away from ten houses then so be it.
I drive home dejected and my mind racing faster then the cars whizzing by me on the freeway. If only I made more money. If only we had saved more. Is it really necessary for us to have a wedding? Oh, and what about all that money we spent on my car 3 months ago? This new house is slipping away and I am wondering how are we ever going to find a house in this expensive competitive housing market. Are we going to be stuck in the studio forever or settle for a dump? What can I do aside from winning the lottery or robbing a bank to make this happen?
We have a design appointment scheduled for tomorrow and I have already imagined where we will put our furniture. This is our one window of opportunity to get into a house. Prices are still low but it won't last and if we don't get one soon there might not be a second chance.
Beer with dinner? Hells yeah. I really need it right about now.
Last week we looked at a new build on our way home from another day of house hunting with our realtor. She happened to mention a new KB Homes Community and it was on our way home so we stopped in. I love looking at model homes even when I'm not in the market. We really liked it but quickly put it out of our head as an option. It's too expensive.
We kept looking. We put in an offer on a Short Sale condo in Eastlake. The price is right but we are dismayed by the $433 monthly fees. There Mello-Roos AND HOA's everywhere you look in that area and it can eat up your budget in one swallow. The commutes not all that great either. We already know we can't afford to live centrally and we would prefer a detached home but in this market you can't be too choosy.
Days go by and we hear nothing. We start getting cold feet about the commute and can't seem to stomach those high monthly fees. Mj's thoughts turn back to that new build. It's about a minute from where we live. We already know the commute is not all that bad and the HOA totals only $135. It's more expensive but maybe, just maybe we can do it because we won't have $400 plus in fees.
We call and find out they have only one lot left in this phase so we scramble around getting paperwork together and our check book so that we can snap up the last one in this price range. We submit to our 3rd credit check in about as many months because the builder will pay $6700 towards closing costs if we use them.
And then more waiting. Meanwhile, a different realtor who is trying to get us a foreclosure tells us he has a house for us. We don't know the price yet and likely won't be able to get a look inside for another week. What to do? Do we sign a contract on the new house when there is a possibility of another lurking?
Today I find out we are approved for the new build. The lending agent is going to send me an e mail outlining what we need to pay off and what additional documentation we are going to need to provide. At about the same time I find out that the foreclosure is going to be too expensive for us anyways. They have another one but they don't know the price yet. I wasn't totally thrilled with the pics but it's hard to tell without seeing it in person. I am already thinking this likely won't work and I probably won't like it better then the new build so I am able to put that out of my head and focus on trying to get the new house.
The cold hard numbers show up in my inbox. Not only did we get pre approved but it also allows for about $10,000 in upgrade design options. Time to do a happy dance right? Well, not so fast. The bank can approve us for a million bucks but it makes no difference if we can't afford the monthly payment. I talk it over with the selling agent but it's not looking too good. I am absolutely not willing to take on a monthly mortgage over what I feel we can comfortably afford. If it means we have to walk away from ten houses then so be it.
I drive home dejected and my mind racing faster then the cars whizzing by me on the freeway. If only I made more money. If only we had saved more. Is it really necessary for us to have a wedding? Oh, and what about all that money we spent on my car 3 months ago? This new house is slipping away and I am wondering how are we ever going to find a house in this expensive competitive housing market. Are we going to be stuck in the studio forever or settle for a dump? What can I do aside from winning the lottery or robbing a bank to make this happen?
We have a design appointment scheduled for tomorrow and I have already imagined where we will put our furniture. This is our one window of opportunity to get into a house. Prices are still low but it won't last and if we don't get one soon there might not be a second chance.
Beer with dinner? Hells yeah. I really need it right about now.
Clutter Crazy
That is just one more challenge of my current living space. The other issue is clutter. Everywhere. I can't find my socks or anything else. I can barely shove my clothes into drawers. Every surface has stuff on it. It is driving me MAD!! I don't know how those obsessive hoarders can stand being buried in all that stuff. Of course it is an illness and I am beginning to think I have one too but in reverse. Realistically, I know I do not have OCD but I definitely do have an issue with clutter. I need to be organized. I need the counter tops to be empty. I need for everything to be in it's place at least most of the time. Right now it is impossible to have hardly anything in it's place because there is barely a place for anything and it is quite simply driving me nuts.
Organization is more then just having everything in it's place for me. When my living space is out of whack I feel like my life is too. Same thing with my finances and my food but that's a whole other blog post. I guess it's some kind of control thing and it comes in handy at times to be so disciplined in these areas but right now it's just driving me crazy. Right now I would really like to be able to see my pajamas laying across the bed haphazardly [instead of forcibly cramming them into the too small drawer] and not care one way or another. I'd rather see a messy pile of paperwork on the table and not care if it stays there or not. I want to put things away and organize but there is no space to do it. So there things sits and there isn't anything I can do about it. I have already done everything I can to maximize my space. I can't believe I'm saying this but I have kind of given up. Not totally of course , but I am just accepting there isn't much I can do. Which is probably a good thing.
I can hardly believe I have lived in such a small space for so many years. Most people I know can't even imagine such a thing. When I tell them I live in a studio their eyes kind of bug out a little. It is definitely not ideal but I did what I had to do.
The close proximity to Mj doesn't bother me at all. I actually enjoy having him right there all the time. The idea of him being far far away in another room or downstairs when I am upstairs in bed actually feels kind of lonely. Right now we can pretty much see each other and talk to each other all the time from any location. Where he is I am and vise versa. That's kind of what happens in a studio and I kinda like that part.
But, if it means that I will have enough room in my closet and less crap shoved into every nook and cranny I am really thinking that I could probably get used to it. I know he's coming to bed eventually even if he is in a far away land down the hall.
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