On Entertaining

Entertaining is a bit of a foreign concept for me. My bridal shower was at my house but I just provided the space and my lovely hostesses did all the work.  I can't count how many times I've watched HGTV and heard a prospective home buyer chirp, "Ohhhh and I love how open it is.  Perfect for entertaining!" or "We just looove entertaining!"  Sure, I thought now that I don't live in a shoebox I can invite someone over but actual full on entertaining....not so much.  My thought process was more like "How spacious....I should actually have enough space to keep my house neat."  In that case, throwing a party seems more like a conflict of interest then anything else.

I have never hosted any kind of gathering at my house.  Ever.

• First of all I don't have a gaggle of friends.  You kind of need those to invite a bunch of folks over to entertain.  The ones I do have aren't part of the same circle and I'm kind of a homebody loner type if left to my own devices.  For me, I figured at most it would be a friend or two here or a friend there.  Back in the old days I had even less friends then I do now and was in a lackluster relationship.  Entertaining like some shiny happy couple that we weren't was the last thing on my mind.   
• Second, I haven't exactly unlocked the joy of cooking.  I am making an effort to get in the kitchen because I want to be a good wife.  I haven't found it awful but I'm just not sure it'll ever be something that I look forward to or want to do more then once or twice a week.  For a party I could easily solve that problem with Pat & Oscars or El Pollo Loco-What did you think I'd resort to Pizza?-but hubby is decidedly more "hands on." 
• Thirdly, it can be a lot of work and money.  You have to prepare by shopping, cleaning, and cooking.  You have to consider Hor's Dourves, desserts and drinks.  You want everyone to have a good time so you have to put some effort and thought into that.  Then there is more cleaning and dish washing late into the night after everyone goes home.  And what if someone spills something?  Uh...how is this fun?  Normal Saturday nights include chillin' in my pj's eating popcorn, watching a DVD and dozing off to sleep by 11pm.  Easy and free 99.
• Lastly, I have only ever lived in tiny and/or drab bare walled apartments that I honestly never really took much pride in.  More recently I lived in the tiniest place yet.  The maximum occupancy was 5 and because it was a studio having people over was sort of like inviting a group of people into your bedroom.  I had 0 wine glasses and exactly 4 plates.  My most frequent guests were mom and dad.  Knowing that I was not equipped with food or proper cooking materials we either went out or my mom would bring something in.  I rarely had any other visitors at all. 

Mj has plenty of friends who get together and do all kinds of things throughout the year and we have been invited on multiple occasions to some of their homes for dinner.  Now that we are for the most part settled into our home we naturally want to reciprocate so our first dinner party ever is..... tomorrow night!  Originally, I thought he was just going to invite about 2-3 couples, six people max but come to find out that number has swelled to about 13.  He even sent out an e vite!  He is definitely running the show and as usual when it comes to anything kitchen related I will assist.  No ordering take out on his watch.  He's planned out the menu and will start cooking tonight.  He already started on the mixed drinks and did the shopping for it last night.  He is so organized...well when it comes to this stuff that is.

I like his friends.  I like the idea having them over to see our new home and hang out but this is all just so new to me.  Martha Stewart I clearly am not.  NOT EVEN CLOSE.  I dearly want to be but I just seem to be missing that gene.  I have not done any holiday decorating, I balked at the idea of hosting Thanksgiving, i'm not doing holiday cards and am even debating if we should get a tree!  I'm just the lowly assistant along for the ride but even so I am technically hosting a dinner party...dahling!  At first it really just felt like work but Mj's enthusiasm is catching and now even I am starting to get excited.

The Party.......

Wedding Wednesday: Bridal Party & Family Shots

[July 10, 2010]  We walked down the aisle as husband and wife and right into a little private room stocked with champagne, cheese and crackers.  The cocktail hour came to us so I wasn't as upset about having to use this time for pics.  I wanted my cheese and crackers too!  We had about 10 minutes to ourselves to laugh, kiss, drink champagne, munch on cheese n crackers and revel in the huge moment that just took place.  Eb came in and brought me a mirror and some lipstick so I could touch up my make up and it was time to head out for group shots.

The only thing missing was the red carpet!

 We started out with family shots and then moved into bridal party shots.  Isn't it funny how the photog wanted solo shots of  the bride but not the groom? Yes it's a shared wedding but as the bride I kinda get to be the star of the show.  And why not?  The groom is handsome in his tux and all but it can't compare to that cascading pretty white dress. 

Me and my family

Mj and family

This part was really fun.  Everyone was talking, laughing and getting their drinks.  The sun had come out, I was just starting to get a little tipsy and I could hear the cocktail CD with our favorite songs playing over the sound system. 

Handsome Groomsmen

Lovely Bridesmaids

Time continued to march on quicker then I ever thought possible and before I knew it our guests were being ushered inside for the reception.  We lingered a bit before heading to the double doors leading inside our ballroom and all lined up for our grand entrance.  I was so anxious to get inside and see everything and everyone.

The Reception........

Let There Be Kitchen Tiers

I mentioned my all out hunt for kitchen tiers in a previous post.  I finally gave up and called JC Penny's to look into getting them custom made.  Might as well see if there was any chance in hell that we could afford it and if there were any patterns on earth that we actually like since the stores sure didn't seem to have any.  I didn't want solids and I just wasn't all that thrilled with having tiny little teapots and rustic bowls of grapes dancing around my kitchen.  After the rep came out deciding on a fabric wasn't too hard.  There were actually 3 that I really liked.  Mj was out of town but I narrowed it down to a few selections and we agreed on one.  The price was more then I expected to pay but we needed some curtains already and I didn't want to settle for some I didn't really want so that was that.

It's so hard to visualize how those squares of fabric are actually going to translate into a window treatment but I am very happy to say that I really like the finished product.  It was nice that we didn't even have to put them up-the guy came out and did it in about 30 minutes.  They are bright and modern without being too obnoxious.  Our kitchen is open to everything else so we had to make sure they wouldn't clash.  I love stripes but I wanted something different.  Originally I was going for Reds and this isn't primarily Red but I still got some in there.  The colors go well with the light green walls we already have going in the living and dining areas and we even found wall art for the dining area that compliments them well.  They are good colors that we can easily build around.  The curtains themselves are very full and I love the hardware.  Those large silver balls (also known as finials) at the ends of the rods give them a nice touch of elegance.  We opted for a simple tension rod for the bottom tiers.  I never imagined that it would take six months to get kitchen curtains in this house.  Just one more thing to check off our list of household projects....and many more to go!

You Never Know

I can pin point the exact moment my stomach started to rebel.  Monday night about an hour after dinner I ate a piece of string cheese and was munching on some grapes.  My stomach started to feel bloated and I looked pregnant.  Then came the nausea and I lost my appetite for anything except laying down.  I fell into bed feeling run down and didn't sleep well making the next morning even more hellish.  I felt achy and slightly dizzy as I plopped myself into my car Tuesday morning to head for work.  I contemplating calling in but decided to tough it out.  Armed with my tervis tumbler filled with ice cold water which is the only thing I could stomach I tiredly drove to work.  I sat at my desk and logged into my computer wondering how I was going to make it through the day.  I couldn't focus.   Annoyed and defeated I finally just told my supervisor I wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home.  It just didn't feel like it was worth it to sit there and suffer.  I walked into my house around 11:15 am got undressed and immediately slipped under my cool sheets and went to sleep.

Before falling asleep I thought of my friend who had texted me a week ago that he had been battling a stomach virus for about 3 weeks.  "How ya feeling," I texted him.  Knowing that I probably can't feel half as bad as he's been feeling.  "Going back to the hospital now...to try to find out what's wrong with my stomach."  Poor guy.  He said he's lost 20 lbs already because he can't keep food down.

Mj came home from work and served me soup and 1/2 grilled cheese in bed.  I'd spent most of the day in that bed and laying on the couch.  I still felt a little on the crappy side and had hardly any appetite by the time I went back to bed that night.  I felt better when I woke up Wednesday morning.  Still a bit "off" but at least glad to be feeling "functional."  Around 4pm I get a text from my friend.  "I might have stomach cancer."  I am shocked.  He is under 40 and just retired from active duty military.  He was so excited about living life as a civilian and worked so hard only to have to deal with this?  You never know when life as you know it is going to change.

Life really looses it's luster when you don't feel well.  That day I was useless at work and that night I had little enthusiasm for anything.  I just wanted to feel normal so I could enjoy and carry on with my life as usual. Whatever mini  bug it was had passed and by Thursday I was feeling 100%.  I am back to my happy normal functioning self but my friend is still in the hospital.  He doesn't get to spend 40 hours a week at work.  When he doesn't get enough sleep he won't get to dread work and count the minutes until it's time to get off.  He won't hit that stupid traffic jam on the way home today and feel that nagging twinge of annoyance at only having about 4 1/2 hours at night to eat dinner, relax a little, and go to bed only to get up and do it all over again the next day.  I'm sure he'd actually be quite thrilled with all of those things right about now.  Things we sometimes take for granted.  It was just another reminder to me of how important our health is, how fleeting it can be and just how lucky I am to be well enough just to live my life.  Every aspect of it including the parts I complain about.

Honeymoon Highlights

Vacations are great for couples and I'm so glad we got to have such a nice long one.  I had a fantastic time in Hawaii and here are some of the highlights.

Fun in the sun at Waikiki Beach

•  Quality time with Mj.  The cell phone was mostly in case we needed to know the time and concerns of the real world were left behind.  Mj destroyed his iPhone in the pool helping matters! We had laptops but didn't use them much.  As always we had lots of fun together.  It was just us all day every day with little distraction and it was nice to just BE with each other and not have to worry about anything else. 

In the water at Hanauma Bay

•  Au natural bliss.  I brought along all of my tools of the trade but didn't use them.  My best accessory on this trip was my lip gloss and lotion. The sun was my hairdryer and my tan was the only bronzer I needed.  I ran around with a salt stiffened pony tail half the day washed it and let it do whatever it was going to do. Half the time my hair was wet or drying!  I simply could not be bothered with make up and could care less that my hair was all over the place which was nice.  Even better was despite that I still felt beautiful 'cause hubby told me so. 

My signature pose

• Timeless relaxation.  We'd lay around and play in the water half the day and have no idea what time it was and not even care.  We did have some things scheduled for certain times but for the most part we didn't pay too much attention to the time and it was nice not to have to.  Our time really was our own.  I truly believe being on vacation is the life I was meant to lead and I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong that I can't do it all the time!  

Lounging.  What time is it?...Who cares!

• Fun full days and early nights.  Waikiki is not a party town.  There are plenty of things to do but no night life to speak of that I could find and I didn't want one anyways.  We were usually done with our activities and back to the room by 7 or 8:30pm.  We were tired and in bed by 10 but that was OK.  We were able to wake up early, spend a full day out and about and then spend relaxing nights together at "home."  We spent two nights watching a movie and usually watched TV together in bed before falling asleep.

• Food fest fun.  I have a tendency to be pretty strict with my diet when eating at home.  I do indulge here and there but overall I try to always make the "right" choices and over eating is a big no no punishable by guilt.  When I'm on vacation I don't give a damn about calories and I love it!  We did get 4 days of physical activity in which was great but I ate desserts and most anything else I wanted and did not feel an ounce of guilt over it.  For the record I gained 3 pounds!!

Enjoying full fat ice cream!!

• Two bathroom bonus.  We only got the 2br 2 ba because that's what was available but having that extra bathroom actually worked out pretty nice.  The guest bathroom turned into "Mj's bathroom" where he was free to throw his wet trunks and towels all over the place and I didn't have to see it.  Except when I'd walk by and shake my head!!

• No overcrowding.  This is probably a good time of year to go because it really wasn't that crowded which was nice. 

• Over packing follies.  Yes...I seriously over packed on all fronts.  Out of our 8 days 5 of them were mostly spent in a bathing suit.  I lived in a bikini, cover up and flips flops. The vibe there is so relaxed and casual.  I didn't really care too much about coordinated outfits and jewelry once I got there.

My basic wardrobe for the week

• Discounts.   Military ID saved us money on those evil baggage check fees while traveling and got us some discounts on food, places and activities while we were there.  The $200 Hilton bucks we earned doing our timeshare meeting went towards our couples massage. Hilton gives you coupons and a discount card when you get there-you just have to take advantage of them.  We got some free food items with that. I did a pretty good job of not focusing on the money and just letting myself have fun.  I laughed about the inflated prices of which $11 drinks, $23 medium pizzas and $4 scoops of ice cream were among the highlights.  They can and do take advantage of having a steady flow of tourists.  I didn't let it prevent me from doing what I wanted and was glad to still be able to take advantage of at least some bargains.

At the guest Check In/Out Lounge on our last day.  Free Coffee!

•  Hilton resorts are the bomb!  I totally enjoyed my experience and it was only enhanced by the wonderful staff and facilities.  There were plenty of concierge people on hand to assist with everything and answer questions. Along with your coupons they gave us a little beach bag.  They have everything you need right there including complimentary laundry on each floor.  They offer free Internet access (though we didn't use it much).  Our room was amazing.  They made check out day so easy with the check in/check out lounge.  This allowed us to really maximize our last day by spending it at the beach and being able to use the facilities to shower and get ready for our flight.  The snacks and drinks were just a bonus.  It feel like they really care that guests are happy and have everything they need based on the way everything was set up. 

•  Hawaii is beautiful!!!  Enough said.

Our Honeymoon:  Day 1-4

Mahalo Hawaii Day 7-8

DRIVE AROUND THE ISLAND [Day 7- Friday, Oct 29]

We woke up and went to breakfast so Mj could get his Hawaiian Bananas Foster French toast he's been wanting all week.  His was $14 and my simple Belgian Waffle was $12!  And again with the no sides thing!  What is it with these restaurants?  After that we walked across the street to get our rental car so we could spend the day driving around the island.  By we I mean that Mj does all the driving and I sit on the passenger side with the map and attempt to help navigate.

According to our map it is only 90 miles around but for an island there seems to be quite a bit of traffic and some of the highway speed limits are as low as 50 MPH.  We took our time though and with 3 stops we were on the road from 10:30 am until about 5:00 pm.  That's 5 1/2 hours!  It was also the wettest day of the whole week but it was better it be our road day then a beach day. 

Creepy Kaneana Caves

We stopped at the Kaneana Caves which is just off the highway.  We would have missed it if we hadn't seen people walking over there.  It's like something out of an awful horror movie.  There were deep dark crevices that you couldn't really see into so it was pretty creepy but as long as their were no knife wielding psycho killers I liked it!!  

We also stopped at the Dole Pineapple plantation and browsed around a bit.  We saw Pineapples growing off of a tree which I'd never actually seen before.

You can see that pineapple sitting straight up
on this bush

That night was really special.  After we got back to the hotel we ate our slightly soggy left over sandwiches that we were too full to eat the day before, our left over chocolate cake and drank a bottle of wine together on our patio.  

Mj surprised me with this.  Our love of pretzels
was just one more thing we realized we had in common
when we met

I decided that now was as good a time as any to do what I call our "state of the union address" as we looked out over the balcony.  It's basically a time for us to just speak our mind and chat about what's good and anything that's bothering us in the relationship.  Communication is so important and I couldn't think of a better time and place to speak honestly and just be real with each other.    I went to bed a little tipsy and drifted into another deep sleep all cuddled up with Mj.  The moment we were dreaded came too fast...our last night in Oahu.

LAST DAY IN PARADISE [Day 8-Saturday]

We woke up, finished packing, took our luggage to the bell stand and headed straight for the beach.  It was our last day and I wanted to spend every last moment soakin' up the sun and relaxing.  

Waikkiki Beach

Lagoon Tower Pool

Eating icecream at Kalia Tower Pool

We hit up all of our favorite waterside lounging spots.  First Waikiki beach, then we went back to the Lagoon tower pool where we did the water slides again and relaxed in the jacuzzi.  We stopped for ice cream then went over to the quieter Kalia tower pool and hung out some more.  I couldn't think of a better way to spend our last day.


We stayed as long as we could then went to the bell stand to get our bag with our clothes and toiletries in it.  We went to the check in/check out lounge at the Waikiki tower to shower and get ready for our flight.  They have a really nice locker room and lounge area.  They even provide snacks and drinks!  Then all too soon it was time to get the rest of our luggage and head out to the pick up area to wait for our bus.  

Waiting for our bus

I absolutely was not ready to go home yet but at the same time was glad that it didn't feel like the whole trip went too fast.  Eight days is a good amount of time, any less and I'd probably have felt short changed.  We really squeezed out every bit of fun and joy from each day and I had a fantastic time.  Each and every day and night was perfect.  Since I have to go home at least I can do so knowing that this honeymoon was everything I hoped it would be  and more.

Honeymoon Day 1-4
Honeymoon Highlights