I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but I went off on this tangent about how I fell in love with MJ
at Souplantation on our 3rd date, and it turned into that post instead. Then, we went to
Temecula Wine Country, and I blogged about that, then work got busy and I was too tired to even read blogs let alone write a post, then the longer you go without blogging the easier it is to...not blog.
Anyway.
I listen to this radio segment called
Second Try or is it Good-Bye? on Channel 94.1 that usually comes on during my commute to work. I don't even get mad about traffic those days because it means I won't miss the conclusion. If I hear the first part I have to know what happens! The basic idea is that people who have been jilted after a first date call in to see if the radio station can find out why, and/or try to get them a second date. When it first started, I couldn't believe they were going to embarrass people like that on the radio. So cringe worthy! So awkward! I mean, how sad for a person
to hear why another person doesn't like them and never wants to see
them again blasted over the radio. I certainly wouldn't have the guts to call in for that information and be publicly rejected. It's still very awkward when people get all defensive
or if it turns into an argument, but I've gotten used to it and now I just
look forward to the juicy details.
I am very fascinated by relationships in general, which is why it's no surprise that I love
Married at First Sight. Never mind how it's gone off the deep end. I find it so interesting to see how relationships are as unique as the individuals themselves and how each person introduces personality and viewpoints that have such a huge impact on whether the relationship works, or doesn't even start. First impressions are huge and some things are deal breakers. The track record is not good. Most people don't get second dates.
And here you have it, 16 things not to do on a first date as discovered by single people of San Diego. Single or married, it's a fun read.
1. Don't talk excessively, non-stop and exclusively about
Music. This probably goes for anything. It's okay to be passionate
about it and excited that you share something in common, but if she has
no clue who you are because you made her listen to song after song on
your phone and sang a few of them at the top of your lungs you are
probably overdoing it. YES
2. Don't hate excessively on
the restaurant that your date chooses. You never know if it is owned by
one of her family members. Even if it isn't there is no need to make
your date feel bad with a running commentary of everything you hate
about it. NO
3. Don't hate excessively on children, even
if you are out at night in an adult atmosphere. I get it. As a single
and ready to mingle kind of person, riding an elevator in your skin
tight party dress with a few toddlers is probably not your cup of tea. A
comment is no big deal, but refrain from complaining and expressing how
insulted you are over it the entire night. Kids are part of the world
and your date may be part of a gigantic Italian family with kids
everywhere, and very accepting of them even if you aren't. NO
4. Don't
order any fun foods that might might get attention at restaurants.
Stay away from sizzling fajitas or big ass Margaritas the size of your
head or else your date may think that you are an attention monger just
like his ex girlfriend. NO
5. Don't wear too much over the
top make up when he's already seen you at the gym looking perfect as
ever au natural. If you show up with fake lashes, show girl make-up, tons of jewelry, and a short tight dress he
might feel like he's dating an entirely different girl than the one he
asked out. YES
6. Don't make too much money and choose a
restaurant for the first date that is way out of his price range. If
he's a barista, and you are a lawyer it is not going to work. He's tried
it before and he knows that at some point your friends and family will
be talking crap behind his back and he doesn't want to go through that again.
NO
7. Don't spit on the ground excessively. I think a gal
can understand if you are sick with a cold or just happen to have a bit
of phlegm that can't wait, but do not spit consistently throughout the
date. It's really a turn off. NO
8. Don't stalk your date on every form of social media and then talk to him about things that you would
only
know if you had done that. It might make a cute story after you've
been together for a while, but on your first date. Creepy. When you
express concern over this don't be surprised if he says, "Well, good
luck dating people who don't like you." NO
9. Don't insist
that your dog is basically the same thing as a child. Don't claim that
you understand her struggle as a single mom because you are single and
you have a dog. If she insists that it's actually different, don't dig
in your heels and say that it's the same exact thing, because you also
have to get a babysitter when you go out of town or on a date. NO
10. Don't
talk about all the hot guys you've dated. Name dropping is also not
necessary. You might think it is making you appear more desirable and
amazing, but it gives the impression that you are superficial, and it makes him feel insecure and like he
couldn't possibly measure up to the hunks that have kissed your lips. NO
11. Don't invite your ex boyfriend to join you while you are on your first date with another guy, if you happen to see him sitting alone at the bar. NO
12. Don't
assume that just because you blew up the bathroom with your unexpected and totally inconvenient post
dinner poops after she invited you into her tiny apartment for a drink that she never wants to talk to you again. She and her roommate were not laughing at you, and don't find you the most disgusting person on earth. They actually had no idea that it even happened. YES
13. Don't drop your phone in the toilet, switch to a temporary flip phone, and lose her number. YES
14. Don't be "just a bartender" when your date is only interested in men with an established career or actively pursuing an established career. You might find out later, that he is actually in grad school and change your mind when he calls into a radio station to find out why you didn't want a second date, but by then it's too late because he's already extremely
offended by your attitude. NO
15. Don't spend half the date talking on the phone to your twelve year old daughter who is perfectly capable and self sufficient. He may think that you don't have room in your life for a man right now. YES
16. Don't deny being a smoker when you pick him up in your car that reeks of cigarette smoke. All the mints in the world won't hide the taste of tobacco when he goes in for a good-night kiss. Smoking can be a deal breaker and even though you say you would be willing to quit for the right person, you've already shown yourself to be a liar. NO
Only 5 out of 16 got second dates proving once again that first impressions really are everything. Make it count.
.png)
