It's Not Facebook It's You

I have read so many things about what not to do on social media or what annoys people about social media that at this point I'm more annoyed by those articles then I am by the actual things on social media that annoy me.  This article on How to Be Insufferable on Facebook  left me totally confused.  I  wasn't sure what was left for anyone on this planet to post after it ruled almost everything out as annoying.  I mean, if you follow this persons so called rules what is left to post and why would I want to bother with social media at all if I have to consult a manual to ensure that I'm not being insufferable before I post anything?  I used to get really bent out of shape about certain things on social media too until one day I realized that social media truly is what I make of it.  I only have to be as annoyed as I allow myself to be.  Instead of writing another post about what annoys me about social media this one is about how NOT to be annoyed by social media.  Some of it is specific to Facebook but can apply across all social media platforms.

1// Cut the friend list.  People in real life annoy you right? So why would you expect social media to be any different? There is one HUGE difference a lot of people fail to remember. While you may be forced to tolerate your cousin who brags about herself or that co worker that is always such a Debbie Downer you do not have to put up with that girl you went to high school  with who chain posts collages of her and her boyfriend wearing color coordinated outfits.  You do not have to subject yourself to the political rants of your deranged step uncle or the TMI attention seeker.  If you don't like it don't follow.  The minute I started to feel that I was more annoyed or consumed with Facebook then the enjoyment I was getting out of it I did something very ground breaking.  I stopped accepting friend requests and I deleted more then half of my friends.  You may have to put up with someone you don't like in real life but the reality is you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to on social media. Not your mother, your sister, nobody.  If you only keep 10 friends because the rest if them drive you nuts so be it.  Or better yet just get over it because people are annoying and that's just life.  There are people that still bug a little that I haven't gotten rid of for whatever reasons and I just deal with it because really-it's not that big of a deal.

2// Customize it.  Social media, particularly Facebook is pretty customizable these days.  There are many privacy settings and other controls that allow you to personalize your Facebook experience.  Use them. If you are worried about offending people on Facebook by defriending just hide their posts.  They will never know the difference and you can check in on them when you feel like it.  That person that blows up your news feed by sharing every single video or article they read needs to be stopped.  They might feel the need to share their comprehensive internet experience by posting a million videos, pics and links per day but you don't have to see it.  I started hiding certain feeds and suddenly, my newsfeed became very boring (in a good way) and when it wasn't boring it was filled with things I was actually interested in seeing.  

3// Understand that the very thing that drives one person up the wall may not bother the next person at all. There is a good chance that you are doing something that annoys someone even if you feel you are doing everything "right" because there is no right. There are people who hate any and all hash tags, roll their eyes if you post more then one pic a day and can't stand your stupid inspirational quotes. There are people who complain if you post the burger and fries you had for lunch or your sweaty post work out pics even if you don't do it a lot.  I've done both by the way, and so what.  I tend to operate on the anything in moderation idea but even so you still can't please everyone.  We are all so different.  It's impossible.

4// Accept that Social media is selfish in nature. We get our own handle, write our own about me blurb and choose our profile pic. It's all about US. If it weren't what else would we be posting all day? Even if we post a video that we think is funny and might make someone laugh we are posting it because WE like it and you can bet there will be probably still be someone who won't appreciate it. Someone who will be thinking there she goes posting another stupid video.  It's also perfectly selfish in that we can customize our own experience not only regarding what we choose to see but what we choose to post.  Since you already know you can't please everyone just please yourself.

5// If you don't want people in your business don't share it.  If you can't or won't unfollow, defriend or customize your privacy settings just don't share it.  Really, it is that simple.

6// Separate yourself from it. Who are all of these people and why do I care about everything they are doing?  Why is it necessary for me to share my every thought?   Take a deep breath and step back.  Just because you can share doesn't mean you have to.  All the time.  Just  because you have the ability to peek into peoples lives doesn't mean you have to.  All the time.
 
There are a lot of things I like about social media.  I like staying connected with certain people.  I like seeing pics of my out of state nephew regularly and staying caught up on news in the gymnastics world and other things that interest me.  I like it that I can send group messages, coordinate events, allow people to see pics and just in general engage with others.  I know people who don't have Facebook accounts saying they will "get in trouble" because you know, Facebook is so powerful it can destroy relationships.  Others have deleted their accounts 10 x over because they can't stand the "drama" or they get too consumed with it.   Others say they just don't like people to know their business.

I'm here to tell you one thing.  Don't let annoying people take Facebook (or any other form of social media) away from you.  If it doesn't do anything for you and you are not interested in it at all that's one thing but if you quit because others annoy you I'm not sure how much sense that makes when it's only as annoying as you allow it to be. Forget about trying to please everyone on social media. It'll never happen. Just worry about pleasing yourself.  The ones who don't like it can just unfollow and you can do the same

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Family Time and a $10 Outfit

We only got in two episodes of Orange is the New Black on Friday night.  There was a part of me that longed for an Orange marathon but a bigger much louder part of me was thrilled to be spending the weekend with family.  My older sister and nephew are here for 17 days.  I only get to see them on the weekends because of work so I am really trying to make the most of it.  The day she flew in my parents picked them up and drove straight to my house so we could all go out to breakfast and hang out.  My little sister gets into town this Friday and the entire upcoming weekend is packed with more family activities.

I get a lot of time at home alone without MJ since he travels but he rarely gets the house to himself without me.  I spent all day Saturday and that night at my mom's and I know he liked it that he had time to himself- which doesn't bother me too much even though I like pretend that I am totally offended.  It was only one night but I still got all pouty and I'm gonna miss you on him which is kind of silly because we've spent many, many nights apart.  I can be so dramatic sometimes but I really can't help it.

I always forget my hat.  I actually have a cute one I could have worn.

DJ

We spent Saturday at the park.  DJ got to play and burn off some 3 year old energy while we got to sit, chat and just be with each other.  My little nephew is so sweet and soft spoken.  At that age you don't even know if they know who you are.  It's been almost a year since I last saw him.  He smiled really big when he saw me.  Awww he does remember his Auntie Cece.  I scooped him up into a giant hug.  He is just the cutest. 

Maxi'd out

My sister and I went to the mall twice.  We didn't plan it but we went on Saturday for one thing then Sunday because she realized she needed something else.  You see that outfit I'm wearing? $10 bucks.  Even people who are not shopping cannot pass up a $3.00 shirt and an $8.00 maxi skirt.  I mean, really!!  In case you are wondering where you can get $3 shirts it's Rue 21.  My sister works at a store in N. Carolina.  When things go on clearance there, they REALLY go on clearance.  I have a maxi skirt addiction.  Every where I looked that's all I saw.  All I wanted to do was buy more and more but I didn't because I have more then enough to get me through the Summer and I realize it's just the addiction talking.

My mom got me a pair of $3.00 sweats from Rue 21 when they went so now my sister, mom and I all have ones that match.  They have kind of a wild print but they are really cute for wearing at home or to places like Walmart or late night doughnut runs.  It's too warm now, but hopefully we will get a chance to wear them together sometime and be super annoying matchy matchy twinsies.  And that's just the thing.  We really don't know when we are all going to be together again.  We never do.  We just have to enjoy the times that we are.

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I Screwed Up

Azul Fives Hotel

I'm an idiot.  It is with great sadness that I have to admit I totally screwed up when I booked the hotel for our Cancun trip.  We're still going but if I knew then what I know now we would probably be staying elsewhere.  The Trip Advisor reviews are almost flawless.  I should've known it was too good to be true. 

I was actually having a pretty decent Monday until I called to follow up on our reservation and take care of the all inclusive resort fee part of it. When I heard how much it was I almost fell out of my chair.  I mean, I've never been the best at math but I know how to multiply and when I ran the numbers AFTER I got the invoice I realized my mistake.  My appetite was gone.  I couldn't even finish eating my snack because a giant knot of complete and total ick was sitting in the pit of my stomach.  Yes, ick.  I just felt icky, awful and really really stupid for underestimating the cost so much.  I wanted to cancel the trip.  Then I had to tell MJ.  I didn't even want to text him the amount because it was far higher then what I told him it would probably be.

Me:  I'm feeling physically ill right now.  I called to check on the resort fee and it's a lot of money.  It's so much that I want to cry right now (and I almost did).
Him:  What's the price?  Need anything from the store?  I'm getting milk.
Me:  $1,654.00.  It's the price of an entire vacation.  I'm so stupid.
Him:  Just for the all inclusive part right?
Me:  Yes, that's what makes it so bad.
Him:  I'm trying to replicate the El Pollo Loco meal.
Me:  How can you think about food at a time like this???!!!!

Obviously he wasn't as devastated as I was.  I couldn't even begin to recover from this news until I knew he wasn't mad at me.  When I got home he hugged me and told me it was okay and then I felt better.  I'm even starting to get excited about the trip again.

I don't know what went wrong! I'm usually so good about these things.  I guess I couldn't comprehend that it would cost that much since I had no concept of how much a typical all inclusive fee could be.  I'm comprehending it now all right and it sucks.  It's like thinking you got a dynamite deal and booked The Four Seasons for the price of The Best Western and then realizing you actually booked The Four Seasons for the price of The Four Seasons and now you have to pay for it.  I would never have knowingly spent this much on this vacation.  I mean, we have great vacations but I pride myself on finding the best deals balancing quality with price as much as I possibly can.  This is in no way the best deal possible as far as I'm concerned and I don't like that.  I would've chosen someplace else or we might not have gone all inclusive at all had I realized the cost.  

I do realize that spending way more on a vacation then you intended is not the worst thing in the world.  This hotel is fabulous and bottom line is I'm lucky to be going there.  What would be worse is if we couldn't pay the fee, had to cancel our trip entirely and lose money on our non refundable airline tickets.  It would be far worse if I booked us a fleabag motel instead and we ended up having a miserable time or if we couldn't ever go on vacation at all.  It just really pisses me off that we are spending money I didn't plan on.   There are people who wouldn't bat an eye at this (MJ) but I am not those people.  I have budgets and bills.  I like getting good deals dammit and this does not feel like a good deal.

I was so rattled that I forgot to ask about booking our airport transportation.  I called back the next day to book a shuttle and  if an expensive limo shows up at the Cancun airport to pick us up I'm done!!

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Perfect home. Perfect T

As soon as I saw  The Home T-shirt (on a blog of course) I knew I had to have one so I pinned it, because when you Pin something that means it's yours.  Ha!! I really wish that were true all the time but in this case it was.  When my mom asked me what I wanted for my Birthday I didn't hesitate.  I went straight to my pin, sent her the link and was not disappointed when it came in the mail.  It really is the perfect T-Shirt.  I love that it's a T but without the sloppy shapeless look of a typical T shirt that I hate.  I have a drawer full of ugly T shirts that I don't want to get rid of because they have sentimental value but are just too awful to wear.   This is not that kind of T shirt.  It's fitted, soft and the sleeves are the perfect length.  A portion of the profits go to a good cause too.  I love my state and I'll be wearing this T with pride a lot.

I can't think of a more perfect place to live.  In honor of my perfect T-shirt here are three reasons I love California.
1.  Sunshine.  My favorite seasons are the warmest seasons and I hate the rain.  The weather is pretty close to perfect here year round and that has to be one of the biggest perks of living here.

2.  Access.  Our state is pretty big.  You aren't going to drive through multiple states without noticing like you can on the east coast but we still have access to so much.  Lakes, mountains, oceans and deserts are all within weekend getaway distance. 

3.  Lifestyle.  I love the healthy and casual laid back lifestyle around here.  My sister moved back to N. Carolina last year and immediately saw the difference in access to healthy foods.  It's so easy to eat healthy in Cali (not that I always want to) and the sunshine and shorts weather promotes it.  I can go into almost any fast food or dine in restaurant and find healthy options.  There is always a Subway and there are yogurt shops and all kinds of places geared towards healthy eating all over the place.  People don't dress up a lot here and I like that because I'm casual.  I can't wear shorts and flip flops year round because I get cold pretty easy but a lot of people do my husband included.  Shorts and T shirts is more then just a way of dressing.  It's a lifestyle which for us means lots of picnics!

On Saturday we went for another picnic.  Last time we couldn't get into Balboa Park because there was a parade and our entire bottle of wine spilled in the trunk.  This time they were setting up for the Rock N Roll Marathon.  Our favorite area where the airplanes fly overhead was closed off but I was just happy to make it into the park and we had wine to drink when we got there.

There are many days of sunshine and picnics in our future; we'll make it to our favorite spot next time.

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Things I Don't want to Face Right Now

That there are five out of seven days of the week that I kind of wish I didn't have to do.  I think you know which ones I'm talking about.  I have a problem with wishing days away when life is so precious.  We really do need to be grateful for every single one.

Some day I will have to buy another car.  I bought a Honda so I could drive the wheels off and that's what I intend to do.  I've had it for 5 years and it was used when I bought it.  I'd drive it for the rest of my life if I could but even Honda's don't last forever.  I love my cute little car so much and it loves me back.  Good gas mileage, low maintenance and no car payment.  My next car will probably be another Honda so I'll still have one....it's just the whole parting with cash thing that I hate to think about.

My MacBook is dying.  Like Honda's even Mac's don't last forever.  MJ bought it for me in late 2009.  He added new memory, replaced the battery and re installed the operating system (I think that's what he did) but it's still not acting right.  It shuts down randomly when I'm in Firefox, Safari or word.  Most recently I can't upload pics from iPhoto to blogger.  I'm basically a blogger without a laptop right now.  I never use it anymore because it's so annoying.  He's going to try one more last ditch effort to save it but after that.....it might be time to spend some more moolah.    

That my closet is officially stuffed to capacity and there was room to spare when we moved in 4 years ago.  I don't want to face this because it means that I've done a lot of shopping which means I've spent a lot of money which feels really really wasteful.  In retrospect I do feel that a lot of stuff I got was because I needed it.  As much as you need clothes when you already have some anyway.  I need to do a serious closet cleanse and get rid of stuff and keep my shopping to a minimum.  I have a REALLY hard time parting with clothes.  I need help!!!

That my husband wants another house.  He's got this idea in his head that he needs a yard when one of the things that we really liked about our house when we moved in is that it did not have one.  He has changed his mind about that; I have not.  He wants to spend weekends doing yard work.  I do not.  I really, really love our house.  It has everything we need, a few things we don't and it's going to be a tough act to follow.  It's not the biggest house or the fanciest house but I think it will be damn near impossible to find one I like as much with a price tag we can afford.  I also really hate moving.  Three words come to mind.  Expensive.  Stressful. Don't wanna.  Okay that's four.

That I will never be able to do my middle splits again.  I got the left side back with ease, the right side back with some pain, but the middle splits are as elusive as the carefree days of my teenage years right about now.  I will keep stretching and fighting the good fight as long as I'm physically able.

That some day I'm going to be really old and wrinkled all over.  Getting older can be a bummer sometimes but overall I've been okay with it because I honestly feel that my life and my overall mental health has only improved with age.  Plus, I don't look old yet.  At least I don't think so.  When I look in the mirror I still see a youthful face, a body that still mostly fights gravity and only a few grays here and there that I can pull out.  One day that will not be the case and it's kind of scary to think about what that will feel like.  Or maybe it's just so gradual that you don't really notice it all at once and by then you are ready so it's not that hard to accept?  That's what I'm hoping.

That some day I will lose someone I love.  It's only a passing thought once in a blue moon.  I keep it tucked away in a deep dark area of my brain in a place I choose not to access very often.  It's the kind of thing that is always there and yet you can't think about too often. 
 

Two for the Price of One (or Not)

My long weekend was nice and mostly uneventful.  I cleaned house, got my oil changed and exercised.  We did loads and loads of laundry and marathon watched the latest season of Scandal.  We still need to get caught up on The Bates Motel before season 2 of Orange is the New Black comes out.  We also went to the movies to see Neighbors (really good) and ate giant hamburgers at Nicky Rotten's afterwards (also really good).  

At the Drive In

Does anyone still have a drive in movie theater in your city?  Do you ever go?  There are exactly two in all of San Diego county that I know of.  It has been a really, really long time since I went and MJ hasn't been to one since he's lived here.  One of MJ's friends mentioned that he was going on Sunday.  We have an extra day.  Why not?  So we decided to go too.

It was my idea to wear pajamas.  "Everybody does it," I said like the drive in theater expert I am not; but since he's never been to one here he believed me.  To get "dressed" I changed out of the pajamas I'd been wearing all day and into other (warmer) pajamas.  For the low, low price of $8.00 per person we got to see Blended and Godzilla.  They had one other double feature showing behind us.  They do reserve the right to check your trunk so don't even think about trying to smuggle in extra bodies.  You could get caught.

I used to go with my parents when I was a kid.  The one we went to had several more screens and has long since closed but many, many years later nothing had changed.  Well, one thing has.  Back in the day they didn't have the technology (or whatever it is that makes this happen) to broadcast the movie sound over your AM radio station airwaves in your car.  Each car had to pull up near a metal pole that has these heavy squarish metal speakers hanging from it.  Each speaker was attached to the pole with a wire and had a hook on it that allowed you to hang it from your car window so you could hear the movie sound.  Even as I'm writing this it sounds so incredibly antiquated and is coming from such a deep part of my memory that I almost feel like I'm making it up.   It sounds almost as ridiculous as two tin cans and yarn, but it's all real.  I'm just old.  Anyway, aside from that there is still the drive up booth where you pay, the crunch of gravel under your tires as you claim your spot, dark shadowy figures roaming around in pajamas, bathrooms with really long lines in between movies and the snack bar building with presumably overpriced yet comparatively cheaper then actual movie theater popcorn, candy and hot dogs.  I don't know for sure because we brought our own snacks.  I'm not sure what the policy is on alcohol.  I didn't bother to look that up, but we brought a bottle of wine, popcorn and candy.

There is something so old school about the whole drive in experience.  It's a shame most of them have shut down over the years.  I guess that's partly why. Maybe it's a little too old school for some people but we had fun.

Keeping it classy in Joe Boxer

Another thing that hasn't changed is my inability to stay up for the 2nd movie.  The first movie can't start until after dark  Blended started at 8:30pm.  There were only 3 previews which is a huge improvement from movie theaters but between that and intermission the 2nd movie didn't start until around 10:45pm.  I tried even though I knew I wouldn't make it.  Maybe 1/4 of the way through it was a wrap.  I laid  my head down on the pillow I'd shoved between the seats on top of the center console and there it stayed until I felt are car moving again when it was time to go home.

Which is really too bad because I wanted to see Godzilla more then I wanted to see Blended and it's not really two for the price of one if you only saw one.

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