6.12.2014

It's Not Facebook It's You


I have read so many things about what not to do on social media or what annoys people about social media that at this point I'm more annoyed by those articles then I am by the actual things on social media that annoy me.  This article on How to Be Insufferable on Facebook  left me totally confused.  I  wasn't sure what was left for anyone on this planet to post after it ruled almost everything out as annoying.  I mean, if you follow this persons so called rules what is left to post and why would I want to bother with social media at all if I have to consult a manual to ensure that I'm not being insufferable before I post anything?  I used to get really bent out of shape about certain things on social media too until one day I realized that social media truly is what I make of it.  I only have to be as annoyed as I allow myself to be.  Instead of writing another post about what annoys me about social media this one is about how NOT to be annoyed by social media.  Some of it is specific to Facebook but can apply across all social media platforms.

1// Cut the friend list.  People in real life annoy you right? So why would you expect social media to be any different? There is one HUGE difference a lot of people fail to remember. While you may be forced to tolerate your cousin who brags about herself or that co worker that is always such a Debbie Downer you do not have to put up with that girl you went to high school  with who chain posts collages of her and her boyfriend wearing color coordinated outfits.  You do not have to subject yourself to the political rants of your deranged step uncle or the TMI attention seeker.  If you don't like it don't follow.  The minute I started to feel that I was more annoyed or consumed with Facebook then the enjoyment I was getting out of it I did something very ground breaking.  I stopped accepting friend requests and I deleted more then half of my friends.  You may have to put up with someone you don't like in real life but the reality is you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to on social media. Not your mother, your sister, nobody.  If you only keep 10 friends because the rest if them drive you nuts so be it.  Or better yet just get over it because people are annoying and that's just life.  There are people that still bug a little that I haven't gotten rid of for whatever reasons and I just deal with it because really-it's not that big of a deal.

2// Customize it.  Social media, particularly Facebook is pretty customizable these days.  There are many privacy settings and other controls that allow you to personalize your Facebook experience.  Use them. If you are worried about offending people on Facebook by defriending just hide their posts.  They will never know the difference and you can check in on them when you feel like it.  That person that blows up your news feed by sharing every single video or article they read needs to be stopped.  They might feel the need to share their comprehensive internet experience by posting a million videos, pics and links per day but you don't have to see it.  I started hiding certain feeds and suddenly, my newsfeed became very boring (in a good way) and when it wasn't boring it was filled with things I was actually interested in seeing.  

3// Understand that the very thing that drives one person up the wall may not bother the next person at all. There is a good chance that you are doing something that annoys someone even if you feel you are doing everything "right" because there is no right. There are people who hate any and all hash tags, roll their eyes if you post more then one pic a day and can't stand your stupid inspirational quotes. There are people who complain if you post the burger and fries you had for lunch or your sweaty post work out pics even if you don't do it a lot.  I've done both by the way, and so what.  I tend to operate on the anything in moderation idea but even so you still can't please everyone.  We are all so different.  It's impossible.

4// Accept that Social media is selfish in nature. We get our own handle, write our own about me blurb and choose our profile pic. It's all about US. If it weren't what else would we be posting all day? Even if we post a video that we think is funny and might make someone laugh we are posting it because WE like it and you can bet there will be probably still be someone who won't appreciate it. Someone who will be thinking there she goes posting another stupid video.  It's also perfectly selfish in that we can customize our own experience not only regarding what we choose to see but what we choose to post.  Since you already know you can't please everyone just please yourself.

5// If you don't want people in your business don't share it.  If you can't or won't unfollow, defriend or customize your privacy settings just don't share it.  Really, it is that simple.

6// Separate yourself from it. Who are all of these people and why do I care about everything they are doing?  Why is it necessary for me to share my every thought?   Take a deep breath and step back.  Just because you can share doesn't mean you have to.  All the time.  Just  because you have the ability to peek into peoples lives doesn't mean you have to.  All the time.
 
There are a lot of things I like about social media.  I like staying connected with certain people.  I like seeing pics of my out of state nephew regularly and staying caught up on news in the gymnastics world and other things that interest me.  I like it that I can send group messages, coordinate events, allow people to see pics and just in general engage with others.  I know people who don't have Facebook accounts saying they will "get in trouble" because you know, Facebook is so powerful it can destroy relationships.  Others have deleted their accounts 10 x over because they can't stand the "drama" or they get too consumed with it.   Others say they just don't like people to know their business.

I'm here to tell you one thing.  Don't let annoying people take Facebook (or any other form of social media) away from you.  If it doesn't do anything for you and you are not interested in it at all that's one thing but if you quit because others annoy you I'm not sure how much sense that makes when it's only as annoying as you allow it to be. Forget about trying to please everyone on social media. It'll never happen. Just worry about pleasing yourself.  The ones who don't like it can just unfollow and you can do the same


17 comments :

Kailagh said...

I have my privacy settings on point. I took way to much time to profect them after all the people that were on my wall, who I am good friends with!

xo. Kailagh

Ciel Belle said...

You can also unfollow people now on facebook. I unfollow them instead of deleting them off my friends list - you wont be able to see any of their posts(or anything that they liked). My feed is so much better without those "annoying friends" lol

Faith said...

Haha, the only way for me not to be annoyed on Facebook is not get on it. I think I go on it about once every two months, if that.

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

I have grown farther and farther away from FB.. at this point I just go on it to post my blog post to my blog page and to post pics seldomly. I'm just over it... I have blocked people and unfriended people, and yet I still find myself just meh about it. But Instagram I love! Love love love! :)

Great post... I think a lot of people don't know all the privacy options that are out there to help them enjoy social media without the annoyances.

Discovery Street said...

i couldn't agree with you more! If people's comments/posts drive you crazy on FB, unfollow them!

Whitney @ EHFAR said...

I love social media and don't really get annoyed with it. I love FB and am always on there. I've actually unfriended only ONE person in TEN years, because a guy that I had a relationship prior to my husband kept messaging me. I'm like, dude you had your chance more than once lol. Long story short and a few months later, I deleted him, because he wouldn't stop. Okay.. I'm getting off topic.. I more so getting annoyed at people when they say they are annoyed by social media, yet they are on it 24/7. Those are usually the ones that are drama-filled or the ones that think there are "rules" on there. However, yes, if something or someone annoys you.. unfollow them or stop using it altogether haha

cashanamusings said...

I got on FB to keep up with my younger family members and when they got tired of me telling on them about their posts they moved on to Twitter and Instagram. Then old school friends and such found me , but they are so disappointed because I rarely post on my page or share pictures. And seriously, if you aren't my real friend or close to me, I restrict what you can see on my page. When I realized many years ago that employers and schools went on the your FB pages I knew not to put anything on there that could come back to haunt me. Certain folks were irritating me so I hide their post, not unfriend them, but made sure nothing they posted was seen on my timeline. I have unfriended folks because seriously they were making my teeth itch because of the negativity. I am so much happier now. These are some great rules!

Newlyweds on a Budget said...

this is really dumb, but it's like your post just made me realize I can stop HATE following people on social media. Why oh why am I friends with that couple I hate?!!? I can just remove them from my feed and stop following on instagram. I fully admit to removing people from my feed for overly political rants on either side--just no.

Vett Vandiver said...

I NEEDED to read this!! I've been SO annoyed by social media in general recently…to the point that I just don't get on for days. I appreciate your other tips besides completely stepping away. great job!

hya21 said...

I guess most people have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. My sister-I-law says that it comes in handy to get certain information, but she hardly ever posts anything. So I get my updates from her because I don't see the point of the whole thing.

Pegster said...

Cece - I just love everything about this post. You nailed it "people are annoying in real life why would it be any less on social media" and best part you can hide their post if you don't like it. I must say I love FB more than I hate it so despite the annoyance I love the connection and I am such a stalker so that is a plus :).
Also you are so right no matter what you are doing, I am sure someone is annoyed by it. Get it and move on. You hit the nail on the head, don't let other people dictate what you do.

PS - if all those people hated FB that much no one would be on it but we know everyone and their mothers are on it so it's clearly not that annoying.

Jenny said...

Fabulous post! Couldn't agree more! And you are so right, you can follow someone's social media "rules" but by doing that you are breaking someone elses. Can't ever make everyone happy. Just a fact of life. And you are so right if a person annoys you in real life, they will annoy you on social media. I think I need to go through mt friend's list asap. Thanks for the post!

jackie jade said...

soooooo true. there are people i can't unfriend, but if they get annoying i just hide their updates. and i don't need to see them - easy!

Ashley R said...

I love this tips. Sometimes social media is just too much, but I love it all the same. The struggle is real!

Brittany said...

Okay, I'm obsessed with this post. I couldn't agree more with every single point. Especially the last one. It's hard not to let the annoying ppl totally drive me off Facebook...but I stay on for the same reasons you do. Just gotta keep it all in check.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

People take some things too seriously....we have control over all the social media in our lives and when we act like we don't have a choice over it then we are gone!! Essentially we cannot allow inanimate things to control us and our lives!! Good take away!!

Janna Renee said...

This is all very true! I love being able to hide people from my newsfeed. I don't want to unfriend them, but I definitely don't want to read about every time they go to the bathroom.

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