Watching Airplanes

At the beginning of December I had 300 sick hours and 300 vacation hours.  I don't even think they like us to accumulate more then 270 vacation hours but no one sent me an e mail about it yet like they did the last time I hit the limit. I am a hoarder of a lot of things including paid time off.  I'm not sure what was more upsetting for me.  Burning through 80 hours or the surgery itself.  I'm ridiculous like that.  So ridiculous that I was really close to going back to work after 2 weeks even though I wasn't sure I was ready.  As if I'll ever truly be ready, but that's besides the point.

On Friday we had a nice little day date almost as good as our very first one six years ago.  It was 80 degrees outside.  We got sandwiches and full fat potato chips from Capriotti's and took them over to Balboa Park.  It's near the airport and there's this one spot we like for picnics where the airplanes roar overhead and seem almost close enough to touch. I'm not sure what was better.  The bright sun beating beating down on my face or the wine we brought from home that we drank out of solo cups.  I felt the way I imagine a pig in the sunshine feels.  The mud, the sun, the lack of responsibilities beyond eating the next meal.  Except instead of mud we had a nice blanket to lay on and instead of slop or whatever it is that pigs eat we had juicy Italian subs that are the best I've ever had. Sorry Subway.  I love you and your low cal sandwiches but Capriotti's wins the taste test every time.

Afterwards, we walked over to Extraordinary Desserts and sat outside eating this decadent tiramisu something or other cake with lots of frosting.  I'm still not sure if I believe him, but MJ says everything on the plate is edible including the flowers.  He ate one so I did too and it just tasted like grass.

And then on Saturday we went to Red Lobster.  We might be restaurant snobs and I may not eat seafood but it was lobster fest.  MJ loves their lobster, we both love Cheddar Bay Biscuits and I had a gift card that I won in a giveaway.

Eight cheddar bay biscuits (between the two of us, I'll let you guess which one of us ate the most) and 4,000 grams of sodium (in my meal alone-wow!!!) later we went home where I inadvertently got hooked on Scandal.  How does this happen? It begins innocently enough. I'm relaxing on the couch with MJ when he casually starts watching a new series on Netflix. Bam, I'm hooked even though I'm determined not to take on any new shows. It's not the first time it happened. Probably won't be the last. 

When I was laying on that blanket in the sun with MJ's head in my lap and his arms wrapped around my legs I realized that taking the extra time off was totally worth it.  I'm lucky to have that much time available to use.  My health needed that extra week and I'm so glad I didn't miss out on that beautiful day with my husband.

Taking a 3rd week off meant 32 more sick hours gone but that's okay because moments are meant to be had not hoarded. 

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Life Lately. . .

Taking nice long hot showers in the morning.  I'm usually a night shower person.  I like to wake up as late as possible before work then I often work out afterwards but I've been taking showers almost exclusively in the morning for the last three weeks.  It's a nice refreshing way to start the day.  I'm scared to see the next water bill.

Reading actual books.  Well, on Kindle for i pad anyways.  I used to read all the time but I've been so busy reading blogs that I don't have time for books too.  I read two books in two weeks and am finishing up a 3rd.  They were all free on Amazon.

Eating peanut butter toast just about every single day for breakfast.  Still addicted. I can't get enough of that warm gooey goodness melting on top warm crispy bread.  There have only been 4 days over the last three weeks that I ate something else!!  When I get stuck on a food I am stuck on it and it could be weeks, months or even years before I ever decide to change it up.  I ate a Peanut Butter Sandwich for breakfast for about 2 years straight.  Notice a Peanut Butter Trend?  I'll be going back to egg beaters on work days but weekends will continue to be all about peanut butter toast.  With coffee.    

Watching Girls.  We don't have HBO but this was THE one show I wanted to binge watch while I had time.  I watched two seasons in two days.  I love the realism of the characters and the situations that they encounter.  They are real girls with flaws, money problems and insecurities.  I can relate.  It's so perfectly quirky and I'm officially hooked.  Can't wait to start burning through season 3 as soon as MJ gets it for me from wherever it is that he gets it.  I've also been watching the Olympics.  I watched all 8 hours of the short and long program ladies figure skating coverage. 

Wearing mostly pajamas.  I have only gotten dressed about 5 times over the last 3 weeks. 

Enjoying days that seem to last forever.  I haven't been at 100% over the last three weeks but I have been thoroughly enjoying this staycation full of time to myself.  I'm getting up early, reading, blogging, writing, watching TV,  watching movies, a few low key outings and staying up late.  Days like this go on and on forever in a really wonderful way.

 Mexican pizza I made for dinner

Appreciating my wonderful husband.  He's taken care of the laundry, dinner, dishes, cleaning house, errands and everything else on top of his long work days without complaint.  Wednesday was my first day out to the grocery store and making dinner and it felt really nice to finally do something for him.

Soaking up this amazing weather.  I'm not sure why this is happening and I haven't been going out that much but every time I do it's warm, sunny and beautiful.  It was about 80 today and we were enjoying it.

Dreading work on Monday.  No real explanation needed.  I'll be going from a whole lot of wonderful freedom and relaxation to a whole lot of work and I probably won't be 100% recovered for another three weeks or so.  I'm expecting a rough transition.

I Wore Pink

In case anybody cares:  Cardigan-Victoria's Secret, Dress-Target

You may or may not remember this but last year I got ditched on Valentine's Day so I wasn't sure what to expect this year if anything.  He claims it wasn't a ditching, I beg to differ but either way I got over it and we moved on.  You can read the gory details here.  He suggested that maybe we would celebrate it every other year but nothing was agreed upon, so imagine my surprise when Mr. Valentine's Day hater suggested we make reservations in early January.  Okay, sounds good to me.  I'm not one to turn down a dinner date so I went with it.  We each chose two places and picked one out of a cup.  His pick Truluck's won and I thought it was really sweet that he offered a do over since I don't like seafood and there isn't a single appetizer on their menu that hasn't been ruined by lobster or crab.

I had to put on a bra.  And actual clothes.  I swapped my glasses for contacts and even put on a little make up.  Coming out of pajamas for the first time in a few weeks was slightly traumatic but I think I cleaned up okay.  

Date Night

Deliciousness!!!

D Bar was my pick.  We went there last month for dessert and I loved it. I spotted their Mac and Cheese with Chicken so I vowed to return and order it.  They had a special five course menu which is kind of annoying especially when they don't put it online and you want to try their regular menu.  It was actually a decent deal for $55 each but we really didn't feel like eating all that food so we went a la carte.  If the Mac and Cheese was not an option I would have been mad because it was truly the best I've ever had in a restaurant.  It's really hard to find good mac and cheese.  Theirs was really cheesy, full of flavor and had tons of crispy breadcrumbs.  MJ got the short ribs.  For dessert I got the Chocolate Molten Lava Thingy that everyone else has.  Really, that's what it said on the menu and it's always my first choice if they have it.  MJ got the Banana's Foster which he would never have been able to get had we shared, which we usually do but we wanted our own.  This was probably not the best meal for someone who's been sitting on the couch for the last two weeks and won't be exercising for at least another 4-6 but oh well.  It's Valentine's Day!

It was a dinner that we could have done on any other night.  I said no gifts, but I did get him a little something because I really appreciate how well he's taken care of me and the house the last two weeks.  I had another suggestion about Valentine's Day.  I'm thinking we'll only celebrate it if it falls on a weekend.  If V Day is a Friday through Sunday it's just another excuse for date night.  Totally doable.  If  it's basically another date night for us then what do I care about Valentine's Day if it's a Tuesday and we both have to work all day? Not a whole lot.  I mean, I did survive last year without it and if we don't go out on the actual day then I almost don't see the point.  The longer we are together the more insignificant Valentine's Day feels.  He shows me so much love all the time that I don't really care what happens on February 14th.  Or maybe it's just his attitude rubbing off on me.  I think we have one or two more Valentine's Days before we take a long break. 

On Saturday I went with MJ to his flag football game and took pictures.  It's so much fun seeing what kind of images I can capture. He loves his sports.  Saturday morning is football and on Sunday morning it's basketball.  He is up and out 7 days a week.  I felt a really achy and stiff afterward so on Sunday I stayed close to the couch.  On Monday we went to the movies to see Robocop, then out to lunch.  Robocop was really good and it felt amazing to sit outside and eat with the sunshine on my face. It was an absolutely gorgeous warm weekend so I'm glad I was able to get out to enjoy it.

Am I glad to be healing nicely?  Yes.  And I can't wait to feel 100% like myself.  Do I ever want to go back to work? No.  NEVER!!!  Life is just too good without it.  It's a bummer that I need that paycheck to keep it that way.  One more week of rest left.

On Being Lazy

Every day when MJ came home from work  last week I was in the same place doing the same thing. Sitting on the couch in my pajamas watching TV.  By the 4th day I was actually starting to feel a little embarrassed.  He's at work all day, there are dirty dishes in the sink and yet there I sit day after day on my butt.  He's taking care of everything. Monday I changed it up and when he came home I was upstairs. Taking a nap.  The theme of last week was mostly pain management and this week it seems to be fatigue.  I'm sleeping on my sides more comfortably though and I'm finally able to cuddle up with MJ again.   

I can't sleep in so every morning I wake up early to do nothing.  I take a nice hot shower, put on my jammies and check the status of my swelly belly which is improving every day.  My belly button is no longer a bloody hole.  Eww!! It's now a scab.  Still gross!  I bring my pillows downstairs and pop a pill. I'm eating breakfast at the table now and when I'm done I arrange my pillows around me on the couch just so with my ipad, iphone, remote and water bottle within reach. And you know what? I love it. It feels so wrong to admit that I love being lazy but I really do. I love that for once in my life there is not a damn thing I have to do.  I have no responsibilities.  I feel like a bum but this is what my body needs me to do right now.  Last Friday I tried something different and it didn't go so well. 

My first post surgery outing was Friday after being inside the house for an entire week.  MJ needed to drop his car off at the dealership for service really early in the morning and we'd stop for breakfast down the street on the way back.  Easy peasy right?  We both thought it would be good for me to get out.  Big mistake.   The dealership is only about 20 minutes away.  On the way there I was aware of every single bump.  I only had to stand briefly while he turned in his car and got a rental but by the time we were half way to breakfast I was feeling it.  I walked in there like I had a stick up my butt determined to enjoy it.  When I got home I was immediately on my back surrounded in pillows with a very swollen belly and pains for the rest of the day.  That delicious veggie hash was worth it though!

It really just goes to show you how much we are actually doing every day just being out in the world even when we think we aren't doing all that much.  Just when I thought I was feeling good my body said not so fast lady and told me to go back to sitting on my butt.  My parents came down on Saturday but I haven't gone anywhere since. 

When I got home that day I opened this sweet little care package from my mom and literally burst into tears.  I was just sobbing.  I'm not really sure why.  I'm emotional but usually not THAT emotional.  I was in pain and flustered that a 2 hour errand did me in and there was just something about these simple yet thoughtful gifts that really touched my heart.  Sometimes it really is the little things that mean so much.  It was so sweet that she found these little things that she knew I'd love.

Laziness is not considered an attractive quality. We are taught that lazy is bad.  Most of us anyways.  And the ones that see lazy as a way of life don't usually get very far.  But why does it have to be so wrong when it feels so right?  I wouldn't want to marry someone who sits on the couch all day for no good reason.  What kind of life and what kind of relationship could you have if you did absolutely nothing?  As tantalizing as it sounds even if I never ever had to go back to work I would not make lazy my new occupation.  Not that I wouldn't want to 'cause it's actually pretty awesome; but ultimately I really wouldn't like myself and I'm pretty sure MJ wouldn't like me either.  I'm no overachiever but I have to be productive in some way or else I feel like crap.  Obviously going to work every day is the main thing but in addition to that whether it be working out, writing, blogging, cleaning, errands, paying bills, I have to do something that feels like I did something in order to feel good about myself.  No matter how good it feels to do nothing eventually the feelings of guilt and disgust at myself would eat me alive.  It's hard enough not to feel down on myself right now even though nothing is what I'm supposed to be doing.  

Last week sitting up without back support and holding my arms over a keyboard was exhausting but I'm getting stronger so this week it's different.  I'm still usually sitting on the couch by the time MJ gets home but in the morning after breakfast is novel writing time.  It would be ridiculous not to use some of this precious time off for that.  Even though I do nothing else I'm already feeling better about myself. 

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Victoria's Secret Giveaway

Even if you don't believe in Valentine's Day or giveaways for that matter, most women wholeheartedly believe in Victoria's Secret myself included.  Shane put together this awesome giveway to give one lucky lady a $215 gift card to spoil yourself silly!  I know, I know...there are a lot of entries and the odds of winning is just that; odd but you never know unless you try.  Take Faith for example.  She says she never ever wins anything and hardly ever enters but she took a chance on my last giveaway and won.  She didn't even complete every entry.  This one is bigger, but like I said; you never know unless you try.

Alisha / Jan / Becca / Andrea / Bre / Alyssa / Victoria /  Shane / Whitney / Jenn / Elizabeth / Brianna / Ashlee / Megan / Stephanie / Tara / Megan / Cece / Chelsea / Kelly / Megan / Lesley / Emily

Giveaway will run until February 14th. All entries will be verified, so play nicely.  Good Luck!!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Too Many Crazies

This is probably old news to some of you.  It happened last month and I was probably under the same rock I tend to be hiding under when big news hits.  Or maybe I haven't been doing enough cardio.  I'm always more up to date on the news when I'm spending time on the elliptical.

Last month a man shot another man in Florida because he was texting during the previews in a movie theater.  It's so ridiculous it sounds like a joke but it's not.  The victim Chad Oulson was in the theater with his wife and he was texting his daughter during the previews.  A man sitting in the row behind him; Curtis Reeves didn't like the texting and told him to stop.  He got up presumably to make a complaint.  When he came back Chad stood up to ask if he went to tell on him.  They argued, Chad threw popcorn and then he was shot dead right there.  The shooter was a retired police officer.

What the hell?  Sadly, I shouldn't be surprised because of all the public shootings that have been going on for years now, but really?  A wife has to lose her husband and a daughter has to lose her father because some guy is either mentally unstable or just had a really bad day?  Maybe Chad should never have stood up, maybe he should not have thrown popcorn but regardless, that is absolutely no justification for this man's crazy and reckless actions.  Apparently the shooter is claiming self defense.  I know that by law you don't have to physically touch someone with your hands for it to be considered assault but a gunshot is an extreme defense to popcorn thrown especially when the texting that started it all didn't even warrant a comment.  The entire situation should have never happened.

There is no texting allowed during the movie and obviously no weapons allowed inside.  How can he get so angry about someone else not even technically breaking the rules when he was breaking the law by having a gun?  I wonder if he had the gun on him the whole time or if he went and got it from his car when he walked out?  Not that it matters.  The movie they were there to see was Lone Survivor which features a beautiful tribute before and after to people who fight and die for their country.  People dying oversees in war is hard enough to take but to die in a movie theater for texting?  There are hardly words to describe how sad and ridiculous that is.  It makes me so angry that people take guns and killing so casually. Like it just something to do.

I heard on the news last week that a Girl Scout selling cookies door to door had a gun pulled on her.  Apparently, a man answered the door with a gun at his side. He pointed the gun at her saying she should know better then to come to his door before slamming the door shut.  Who even knows why.  Her dad saw it happen, called the police and he was taken into custody.

It's a crazy world we live in.  I used to sell Girl Scout cookies door to door and I don't think anyone would ever imagine back then that something like this would happen.  I also used walk to and from school in junior high and now if I had kids I'd be terrified of having them walk to school when kids are being kidnapped right out of their homes. 

There are too many crazies in the world and sadly it just seems to be getting worse.

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House Arrest

I really appreciate all of your comments on my last post.  I was so scared!  It was nice to see some of the comments before surgery.  I gave myself a pass and didn't reply, but this is me giving you a big giant reply all thank you right now.

Friday was a really long day. As long as it was for me it was even longer for MJ since I was basically unconscious for part of it.  We left the house around 8:30 and didn't get home until around 7pm.  It was all very organized but there were many stations to get through.  We checked in, I was sent to pre op where I got these cute little purple non skid socks with white paws on them and a purple gown.  The coolest thing about this gown is that it had a ventilation system.  When I got all trembly and freaked out about the IV they were able to put the hose right into a hole and heat me up from the inside out.  I really need something like that for work where it's always freezing.

My own surgery collage.  I look so awesome I couldn't just decide on one.

I was in surgery for 3 1/2 hours.  When they wheeled me into the operating room Wake Me Up by Avicci was playing. Usually I listen to that song at the gym but it was perfect operation music. "So wake me up when it's all over." So they woke me up when it was all over and I had 3 holes in my belly.  My first thought was; I did it!!  It's over!!  Once the anesthesia wore off I moved onto the final recovery station before you get to go home.  It took me about an hour to eat 2 crackers because I was still nauseated.  I nibbled on them like a rabbit and was rewarded with two Percocet.  They don't rush you, but I was really tired and I know MJ was probably really over it by then.  Once I finally finished those crackers I moved onto next challenge.  Nobody goes home unless they demonstrate the ability to get up and go potty.  Less then two hours after surgery I was standing up and hobbling my way to the bathroom.  Standing up brought on more nausea so I asked for a barf bag just in case but I didn't need it.

I'm a big wimp and a huge chicken.  Like most people I hate needles and pain.  Surgery it not exactly something you put on your list of monthly goals but it felt like a big accomplishment.  As I was wheeled out of the hospital I felt really proud of myself for being stronger then I thought I would be.  MJ thought I'd be a complete disaster but I wasn't.   I didn't even take the anti anxiety meds that I asked my doctor to prescribe in case I needed it to get in the door.  The worse part really, was getting the IV-which they had to do twice because apparently I have tiny veins.  After that you are knocked out for everything else that's gonna hurt.  My doctor the surgeon was awesome and everyone was so nice. The pre op room is huge and kind of like an assembly line with rows of patients on each side waiting for the operating room but the nurses are so attentive. There is an entire team dedicated to getting you prepped, attending to your surgery and then taking care of you after.  They made me feel very comfortable and well cared for from start to finish. 

On the day of surgery I ate 9 crackers.  2 at the hospital and 7 later that night.  I call it the surgery diet.  I don't recommend it.  On Saturday I was still eating light.  MJ had football in the morning so my parents came down early to be with me.  My mom is so sweet.  She brought flowers and made me soup.  By Sunday my appetite was back to normal.   I've been eating leftovers for 3 days from a super bowl party I didn't even attend.  MJ went to his friend's house (with my blessing) to watch the game.  I ate a slice of pizza for dinner two nights in a row and today I started in on the Chili.  

On night one I was almost in tears trying to get up for the bathroom in the middle of the night but it's taking me less time to get up now and I'm getting more and more mobile every day.  Being forced to sleep on my back all night makes it hard to get comfortable and I miss cuddling with MJ but overall I'm doing okay.  The drugs are doing their thing so I haven't really been in too much pain.  Mostly just discomfort. Every time I move.   Totally manageable.

MJ has been taking such good care of me.  He makes sure I take my pills, he feeds me.  He took my bandages off when I was too scared too look at my incisions and coaxed me into the shower when I was afraid of getting them wet.  You gotta love a guy who helps you put on your underwear when you can barely stand up, waits on you hand and foot, sees you in tired old baggy pajamas for days and still calls you cute.  He's the best.   I don't know what I would have done without him. I am mad at him for "accidentally" scaring me so bad that I screamed hard enough to hurt my belly.  He's really going to have to stop that when we get old or he might cause a heart attack.

It's still really hard to believe that my only job for at least two weeks is to rest.  I can't drive.  I'm not supposed to be cleaning, doing errands or working out.  I can sit on the couch watching TV all day long and be a total and complete bum without guilt.   How often does one get an opportunity like this?   Pretty much never and it sucks that it requires major surgery to get it, but I'll take it.  I haven't gone anywhere since Friday's surgery.  It's like being on house arrest without the ankle bracelet and the introvert that I am is totally embracing it.  Normally I loathe the rain but after months of oddly warmer temps we finally got some.  I didn't mind it one bit because I got to burrow under the covers all morning and then spend all day in jammies.  I got out of bed when I felt like it and gingerly made my way downstairs to set up camp on the couch.

Mj thinks I'll get sick of it but I'm not so sure.

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Scared

I really hate hospitals. Who doesn't? Every time I go to one I see something I wish I hadn't seen.  After I see it I can't just unsee it so there it is burning an impression in my mind until it finally fades away and I move onto something else to obsess over.

I was there for an MRI.  Gosh those machines are huge and loud.  I had dye injected in one arm and an organ relaxer in the other.  I'm so glad I didn't know that MRI's can come with shots or else it would have been one more thing for me to worry about.  I didn't find out until just before I changed  into my lovely hospital gown.  I survived and then I headed to the lab to do my blood work and went back to work only to feel like crap about 30 minutes later and have to leave early.  I guess it was all just a little too much for me.  When I got home I laid between the cool sheets burrowed under the covers and thought to myself that this time in two days I'm probably going to feel about 10x worse then this.  Maybe 50x worse even.  I napped and was thankful to feel like my old self again in a few hours.

Do yourself a favor and don't google your surgery before you have it.  I mean, it's a good idea to be well informed and the internet is nothing if not informative but the two weeks that I spent obsessively dredging the internet for every possible horror story known to man was pretty exhausting.   I mean, chances are you can't not do it but just know that it's probably going to freak you out more then anything.  It's really, really hard not to think of all the things that could go wrong but at some point you must take a chill pill and let it go.

If you are reading this right now it means I'm on my way to the hospital and it's taken a lot of soul searching, anxiety and second guessing to get here.  It's a hard decision to make when there are no solid answers. About anything. I haven't mentioned it to anyone I know outside of family.  Telling it makes it real. Your last day at works makes it even more real. I'm sort of in denial that it's happening because technically, even up until the moment I arrived at the hospital I could change my mind and bolt.  I never saw myself doing that but you can't tell someone that you are having surgery one day and then show up for happy hour the next.  You don't tell someone something like that unless you know for certain that you are which I did; except I like to keep my options open until the very last minute.  I have a very difficult time making decisions about even the smallest most insignificant things let alone the slicing of my skin.  If you are reading this right now it means I waited until the very last moment to hit publish just in case I changed my mind even though I knew that I wouldn't.

I wasn't sure if I'd mention it here, but it felt really weird not to.  Not that I tell you everything because I don't but this is a big deal and this is my blog and it really just felt like I should.  I don't know if or when I will feel comfortable talking about what kind of surgery I'm having but I know that today is not that day. This is my first "real" surgery anesthesia and all so I don't know how I'm going to feel or what to expect.  If I'm not active in blog land you'll know why.

Oh, and that thing I saw at the hospital that I wish I could unsee was a deceased person.  Not exactly the kind of thing you want to see on the eve of your first surgery or EVER for that matter.  Lying on a stretcher snugly wrapped in a blue blanket from head to toe was the unmistakable form of a person who had taken their last breath.  The worst thing about it is that the guy was lost.  He rolled that stretcher up and down the hallway right past me twice trying to figure out where he was going.  The MRI's are done on the basement level and I think that's also where the morgue is. 

I can't unsee it but I'm desperately trying to push that image out of my mind.  It's routine surgery.  The people who love me tell me that I will be okay and as terrified as I am I believe them.   I am young.  I'm healthy.  I'm strong.  I plan on taking lots of drugs.  I'll be okay.

Please send good thoughts my way. I'll check in when I can.

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Restaurant Snob?

Biggest Naan I've ever seen and the best

On Saturday night we went to Ali Baba Restaurant.  It's on this random street next to a liquor store.  There is a bar across the street and no other restaurant in sight.  It doesn't offer much in the way of ambiance but I love it that it's in our neighborhood.  We don't have to drive downtown and hunt or pay for parking and they serve Naan bigger then the size of my head fresh out of the oven.  The food is delicious and the portions are generous.  We had an authentic Mediterranean Halal food experience right in our  backyard.  I honestly had no clue what type of food it was but that's what it says on their website.  We've been there twice now and plan to take my mother in law when she comes to visit.

There was a time when going to TGI Friday's or Applebee's would be my top pick for dining out on the weekends but over the last year or so I've fallen out of love with chain restaurants.  There is something about their mass produced energy that doesn't appeal to me so much anymore.  I think it's a combination of getting older and the plethora of great restaurants in our city to explore.  There are so many new ones popping up that I'll probably never get a chance to try them all.  I'm also not 100% driven by price when it comes to dining out like I was in my early 20's.  It's a factor for sure; but I'm not compelled to go somewhere just because I see a commercial advertising a 3 course combo for $10.99.

Top:  Chicken Tikka  Bottom:  Chicken Shawarma

Or maybe my husband is starting to rub off on me.  I call him a food snob.  He say's he just likes good food.  Or maybe he's not a food snob and I just wore him down with wanting to go the same places all the time.  When we were still dating On the Border was our spot.  He was still living about 1 1/2 hours away in Orange County.  He'd drive down to my house on Friday's and I'd rush home from work so we could make happy hour.  I got the chicken casadilla and he'd get the tacos.  We'd both get a beer or sometimes he'd get a Margarita.  It was cheap and tasted good to me.  After he got sick of that place we went through a TGI Friday's run until he refused to go there ever again and started saying how much he hated it.  Then it was Outback which is also on his hate list and in between we frequented Chili's and Applebee's quite a bit too.  In his opinion the food at non chain restaurants is better and he burns out with repetition while I'm pretty easy to please and could eat the same things at the same place every day.  I'm a creature of habit and not too adventurous when it comes to food but we started branching out for date nights and really haven't looked back.  

When I go out I want unique decor details and menu items that you can't get anywhere else.  I enjoy ambiance and an interesting vibe.  I love the friendly service and homey atmosphere that I get in little mom and pop places.  They seem to pay more attention to the quality of the food they serve and I like supporting small businesses.  It doesn't have to be fancy or hip.  We like discovering hole in the wall spots and places outside the trendy happening areas.  We are always open to trying new places and if the food and service is good we'll be back.  One of our new favorite spots is a place right down the street from us in a strip mall.  There is nothing fancy about it but the food is good, the people are friendly and we feel at home there.  MJ is such a regular they know him by name. 

I haven't sworn off chain restaurants indefinitely but it's not going to be my first choice and I'm not necessarily planning to go to one anytime soon.  I can't go the rest of my life without ever tasting Red Lobster's cheddar bay biscuits again and I have only found one restaurant that has lasagna I like as much Olive Garden's.  They say it's frozen but I don't care.  Even Italy couldn't outdo Lasagna Classico. And those bread sticks.  Denny's is a sentimental favorite of mine too.  I grew up going there and it was always my Birthday dinner pick.  My how times have changed.

Maybe I'm turning into a restaurant/food snob but I like to feel like I'm having some type of culinary experience.   I don't need a mouthwash dispenser in the bathroom but if I'm spending my time and money I want it to feel worth it and special in some way.  Chains just don't do it for me like they used to.

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Nude is Boring

Nude nude is exciting but apparently a nude bra is not and the husband was starting to notice.  Why don't you ever wear the pretty colored bras?  I have pink and blue and grey with lace; all of which he bought me by the way since I'm too boring practical to buy anything but nude or black.  I explained to him that a nude seamless bra is a staple in a woman's lingerie arsenal because it goes well under absolutely everything.  I can put it on even if I don't know what I'm wearing yet and I automatically know that it's going to work under whatever I walk out the door in.  Plus, nude technically matches every single panty in my drawer.  Boring, but practical.  Since he notices such things I've been making an effort to put the more colorful bras into rotation.  And that's why I picked this bright blue bra from Adore Me.

Can I just say how much I love the Enika Push up?  This is the first non Victoria's Secret bra that I've owned in pretty much forever so I wasn't sure what to expect.  The material on the hipster panties is so stretchy and hugs my booty just right.  I won't have to worry about it riding up which I hate and the bra gives me the perfect amount of push up.

Adore Me Adrienne Push Up

Valentine's Day is just around the corner and Adore Me has a super sexy Valentine's Day collection.  Surprise him or surprise yourself with something different then what you already have.  They have that boring nude bra if you really need one; which we all do, but they have a lot of sexy and fun styles to choose from too.

Adore Me is a NYC-based fast fashion lingerie company offering designer lingerie, sleepwear and swimwear at affordable prices. We design for every kind of woman, and offer a wide range of styles and sizes, and even have styles that go up to size DD+ and above.  Customers are recommended to take the short Style Profile Quiz for a personalized shopping experience and showroom with selections best made for them.  Adore Me is a membership-based e-commerce site with special prices offered to VIP members, but also offers a Pay-As-You-Go service for customers who don't want to commit.  More Information here on how it works.  Finding the perfect fit can be tricky if you are doing it online but the return/exchange process is super easy and free.  You can put in an exchange request online, print out the shipping label and place a new order right away without having to wait or pay for a new order.  They just ask that you return the entire set within 30 days.

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Please Note:  I was given a complimentary lingerie set from Adore Me for review. However, the opinions expressed in this post are solely mine. 

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I Follow Kids on Instagram

I confess that I totally forgot about jury duty over Christmas Break.  I meant to cancel it but then forgot and it dawned on me after New Year's that I was supposed to go.  I checked the website and it said "served" but I was still freaking out thinking I'd end up with a warrant out for my arrest so I called.  I did jury duty without actually doing it.  My name was called for a group that didn't get sent to a courtroom so even though I never showed up they checked me off as time served.  Easiest jury duty service I've ever done.

I cried almost to the point of sobbing watching Lone Survivor.  You know how if a baby starts to cry parents should take them out of the theater so as not to disturb other guests?  Well, I was that baby that would have had to leave if I couldn't get control of my tears.  It was so good and very well done but so sad.  It made my heart so heavy for the families who have lost their military men or have to deal with the fear of having a man in such a high risk occupation.  

I  confess that sometimes when I'm having an "ugly" day I snap a selfie.  Sometimes it confirms my suspicions and other times I am pleasantly surprised.

I've lost the ability to open our package delivery mailbox.  When USPS delivers a large package they put it in the larger box and put a key in our mailbox to open it.  It didn't used to be a problem but one day I tried opening it and couldn't.  I tried and tried on multiple days and even left a note saying that the key was defective.  It turns out I'm defective. MJ can get it open; I can't.  When a package comes he has to get it or else it will never come out.  I don't even want to think about what to do if a package comes in while he's out of the country.


I confess that I follow pre teen dancers on Instagram.  What can I say?  I love Dance in general and Dance Mom's in particular so I started following Nia, Maddie and Chloe.  They are so cute!  Then through those accounts I ended up following a few other dancers.  They are so flexible and they post really beautiful pics with their backs bent in half and legs at a backwards 90 degree angle.  Do they have bones?  I mean look at this girl.  It's not natural.  These kids are REALLY popular.  Ashi has 177k  and Kalanih has 233k followers!!!




I confess that when I'm doing yoga and the instructor gives certain directions sometimes I have no idea what they are talking about but I try to do it anyways.   Here are some examples:  The tailbone meets the pubis and the pubis still meets tailbone.  Feel the undulation of your breath moving through your spine.  Breathe into your side ribs.  Move your sacrum deep into the body.  Connect your legs to the length of your spine. Keep the skin of the back smooth, breathing and open.  Draw the energy of your legs into your spine.  Uh...what was that?? 

I still don't understand the i cloud.  I love it that it allows me to sync my i Pad with my i Phone so I probably just need to give up on understanding the how and just be glad that it does whatever it does however it does it.

Linking up with Leslie @Blonde Ambition.

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A Holiday Party in January

The first year that MJ's company holiday party was in January I thought it was weird now I just think it makes sense.  The holiday's are busy and there's so many other things going on that it's nice not having to make time for it in December and it's a little extra something fun to look forward to in the New Year.  No Christmas songs or holiday themed decorations but who cares.  There are free drinks.  And food.  A party is a party!  This year the theme was roaring 20's.  Some people went all out and dressed up for it but they had props there for slackers like us who didn't.  

I'm really proud of MJ for putting together such a nice outfit.  There really aren't a whole lot of options for men.  I guess he got sick of the same old button up shirt and tie and went with a bow tie and a cardigan.  I think he rocked it.  He looked so cute!

We use the holiday party as an excuse to stay in a hotel overnight and go out downtown.  The parties are always fabulous but we never stay for the whole thing.  We check in, get our drink tickets, drink up, eat up, mingle, get our picture taken and then leave.   We had a really fun time while we were there though.  My favorite part was the mac and cheese station.  So good! The band was pretty good and the wine pours were generous.  We did not win the i Pad mini they were giving away because we never win anything at these parties.  We left around 8 and went to a bar with a group of people from the holiday party and managed to stay out until just past midnight.  I probably could have gone longer if my feet weren't hurting so bad.  I wore my comfortable and fairly sensible pumps but even the most comfortable pumps turn into very uncomfortable torture devices after a while. 

The party was at the Marriott.  I really love this hotel.  It's right on the water and it's really nice.  It's a shame we don't really get a chance to utilize the amenities.  For such a quick overnight trip it's basically just a place to sleep.  We checked in around 4ish on Saturday and relaxed for a few hours before it was time to get ready for the party.  The next morning we checked out around 11am and then went out to breakfast.  I was pretty useless on Sunday.  I half napped and laid around most of the day.  And as I did that I wondered what the heck I would do if I had a child who wanted to play all day?  I was exhausted as it was.  I'm pretty sure it's not acceptable to put them in the closet with a TV or an i Pad even though MJ seems to think it is.  I'm so glad we got an extra day off to recover.

The weather is still freakishly warm here.  It's warm enough to have a Fourth of July BBQ in January too but we're going to the movies instead. 

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Walter Mitty and Chocolate Cake

Saturday was date night.  We went to Cineopolis to see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.  I loved it.  It's one of those feel good movies that makes me feel enlightened and enriched in some way just from having watched it.  It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I'm surprised I didn't cry. 

Walter Mitty is your average Joe like anyone else.  He's been working in the basement level of Life Magazine for 16 years in the negative assets department and stresses out about keeping the bills paid.  Life Magazine is transitioning from the print version of to Life Magazine Online.  He is the timid, worker bee who hope that he still has a job when it's all said and done who is belittled by the hot shot jerk of a younger guy in charge of overseeing the transition.  Day to day life is pretty mundane except when he goes into one of his trances and thinks of all the things he wishes he had the guts to say or the super human abilities to do.  I think we all kind of do that.  What if.  If only.  One day.  I wish.  Then suddenly he finds himself going to places and doing those things that he only dreamed about before.  He goes from underdog to trailblazer and with it comes a confidence that he didn't have before. 

In the movie the Life Magazine mission statement is: “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.”  The words are vague and broad and yet so universally specific at the same time.  I think we can all find meaning in it.

One of my favorite quotes from the movie is when one of the characters says, "Beautiful things don't ask for attention."  This really stood out for me in it's simplicity.  In this day and age of me, me, me and the non stop social media attention seeking frenzy it's a really refreshing way to look at things.  What makes you beautiful?  Your great smile or 100 likes on Instagram?  Just be. Do beautiful things and be your beautiful self without regard to who's watching and what everyone thinks about it.  That in and of itself is beautiful.

The movie definitely raises some questions in terms of how realistic it is.  Is there really a Papa John's in Greenland?  Is it really possible to get cell phone reception in Iceland?  Is e Harmony really $500 per year?  But it's a movie.  I loved the storyline so much that I really didn't care about the actual reality of such things.  The acting was great, the characters were touching and I loved the story and there was even a little bit of romance.  I give it a thumbs up.

After the movie MJ was in the mood for chocolate so we went over to this really cute restaurant called D Bar.  We sat at the dessert bar so we got to see the chef's putting together all of these tasty looking desserts.  This three layer chocolate cake was really good and it came with a vanilla shake.  How adorable is this presentation?  They really pay attention to detail there.  The couple next to us had Bacon Macaroni and Cheese that looked really good so we will be going back and that's definitely what I'll be getting. 

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Junk in My Trunk

I haven't done a confessions post in a while.  So here goes.

I confess that I'm having a really good hair day and I kind of feel like it's going to waste since I have no plans today.

I confess that I always grab an extra Splenda or two..or three.  And sometimes I'll grab an extra Creamer...or two.  Does that make me a thief?  I am a paying customer.  I just like to take a little extra for the road.

I confess that I reuse sandwich bags.  Even the cheap ones that don't close at the top.  If I pack something like carrots  the bag is barely used.  I like to get my use out of things.

I confess that I'm still wearing nail polish from Maui.  It was this pretty matte mint green color and it matched my bikini.  Well, it doesn't look so good anymore and I probably won't be in that  bikini for another 6 months so....yeah, time to take it off before MJ starts asking me what's up with my toe nails.  I'm surprised he hasn't already. 

While we're at it I confess that I've always hated my feet.  I have really long toes and the 2nd toe overlaps the big toe. I didn't where open toed shoes until after college.  It took me even longer to get my first pedicure and when I was dating someone I was always afraid to let them see my feet.  Like, deep breath...this could be a deal breaker.  I'm over it though, for the most part.  I'm still not a fan but it's not a major source of embarrassment and I don't hide them in shame anymore.  Unless I really need a pedicure, like now.

I confess that I've got a lot of junk in my trunk.  Not my butt, although I do feel that it's pretty substantial.  I'm talking about my actual trunk.  In my car.  And the contents of my glove compartment spring forward when you open it.  Every other part of my car is neat as pin.  I promise.  The trunk is not nearly as bad as it used to be.  I used to use it as extra storage when I lived in my tiny studio.  Now I just have a few things bumping around back there that I apparently don't need considering they've been back there for over a year.  I've always thought that the way people keep their car is a reflection of how they keep their homes.  In my case it's true.  The guest rooms are messy but the main areas that everyone sees are neat. 

I confess that I've tracked my calories every single day since I got my iPhone in December of 2009.  I even track when I'm on vacation even though I don't like what I see.  Four years ago Lose it! was the first app I downloaded.  That's either really awesome or really ridiculous depending on how you look at it.  It's just something I do.  Lose It! is so sweet.  They rewarded me with free premium membership for life.  My commitment has not gone unnoticed.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Linking up with Leslie from A Blonde Ambition.

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Do Travel Plans Count as New Years Resolutions?

Was New Year's Eve just last week? Seriously. It already feels like it was a lifetime ago.  I went back to work on Thursday and it flew by for some odd reason.  I think that we were still in shock that we were there.  After 12 days of being off we didn't quite know what was going on.  Friday went slower.  And now it's back to Monday.

The tree came down Friday.  You can't imagine how excited I was to come home from work on  Friday to an  X Box playing husband who had already taken down the tree, put every thing away, cleaned up all the pine needles AND put together our new wine bar.  I love the tree but I really hate the mess of it and taking it down is not nearly as exciting as putting it up.  I was really thankful to him for taking care of that.  It's so nice to have a husband that takes care of business. 

I used to make resolutions every year but I've definitely lost my resolution making mojo.  I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year, I didn't make any last year either and two years ago I only had three.  Finishing my novel is a given.  It's something I plan to do and I'm actively working on it.  No need to list that. There are some non tangible things I want to work on within myself and as much as I like lists I'm just not compelled to list it.  Not right now anyways.  It kind of makes me feel like a slacker not to march into the New Year armed with a list of intentions but I just don't have it in me to do it.

Do travel plans count?  I resolve to travel next year.  Apparently we can't function without having a vacation booked so 6 days into the new year we've already locked that down.  In June we will be heading down to the Cancun area to stay at an all inclusive resort for 8 days.  I have done the all inclusive cruise thing but never at a resort so I'm really excited.  Did I say that drinks including alcoholic beverages are also included?  In September we are going to New York City.  Neither one of us has been there in a really long time.  so I'm super excited about that too.  There will probably be a long weekend getaway or two thrown in there somewhere also.  Las Vegas and/or Sedona most likely.

MJ made these yummy cinnamon rolls from scratch.  See the un frosted one in the corner specially for me?  He had cream cheese that would have expired if he didn't use it up so it was the only logical solution.  As if anyone needs more sweets right now.  Hopefully our co workers will gobble them up so we don't have to bring home any left overs.

This post really has no point just like this picture really has nothing to do with this post and I'm totally aware of that.  I've been blogging for a while now and written about a plethora of topics primarily myself.  Do you ever feel like you've said everything that there is to say?  Well, sometimes I feel like that.  My life is not the exciting crazy train that it was in 2010 when there were major life changes happening.  Wedding, new house, new job, honeymoon.  Now that was an exciting year.  Life lately is more settled and I'm very content.  Sometimes my mind just feels like a blank slate.  I may not have a picture or a profound particularly interesting or funny thought but I might still want to pop in and say hello.  The writer in me finds it very difficult to hit publish without structure, rhyme and reason.  I would never post randomly just to post five days a week but I love to write and this is my space to do so after all.  I'm trying to allow myself the freedom to just write and be okay with hitting publish even if it doesn't feel "important" enough to warrant a blog post rather then not writing at all.  If this were my journal that's what I'd do. And this kind of is; except that I have readers and I don't share all of my deepest darkest secrets here.  I hope that's okay.

So here goes.  Publish. And that makes 2 sort of non resolutions.
 

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Going out for NYE is not Overrated

I had no intention of going out for New Year's Eve.  I'm content to spend it on the couch watching countdowns and struggling to stay awake until midnight.  Braving the crowds, drunk drivers and the cold was never the plan and I probably wouldn't have unless I was tricked.  What had happened was that we were supposed to go to an ugly sweater party but it got cancelled.  MJ tells me the couple that was hosting it wanted to know if we want to go to San Diego Beer Co instead.  It's a restaurant so I assumed that meant dinner.  Sure.  I like hanging out with this couple.  Dinner out will be nice and low key.  Then the next day MJ tells me he bought tickets.  Tickets to what?  You don't buy tickets to dinner.  So that's how I found out we were going out for New Years eve.  Another communication fail.

We went to dinner downtown at Nicky Rotten's at 7pm.  I opted for the Mac and Cheese instead of my usual salad.  I'll order salads for the next month and be happy about it but I wanted to indulge for NYE so I did.  We walked over to San Diego Beer Company at 9 and we didn't leave there until about 2 am. 

MJ and I have been together for five years and the most we've ever done is go to a friends house.  I can't remember the last time I was out partying on New Years Eve...if ever.  Turns out going out for New Years Eve is a lot of fun.  I mean, I figured it would be once I got past the whole figuring out what to wear, putting on make up and dragging myself out of the house part.  Everyone is in such a festive mood.  There is a lot of sequins and cardboard tiaras.  People going out for NYE are ready to par-tay and they mean business.  The bar was was packed with people trying to get the bartenders attention.  The place was crowded but not too crowded and we had a table to sit at for the night.  At midnight we did a group tequila shot toast.  Yes, tequila not champagne...and shared a  big old sloppy kiss.  Major PDA overload.  We gave up our table after that so we could hit the dance floor.  More PDA.  I had so much fun that I might not even need to be tricked into it next time.  Well, maybe I will.  The thought of going out is just soooo exhausting.  I'd almost rather that I don't have a choice because 9/10 I'll pick the couch even though once I'm "forced" out I have a good time.

We spent $60 in cab fare but for four that's not too bad.  And it's cheaper then a DUI.  The restaurant for dinner was reasonably priced but the cost of drinks do add up.  MJ spent $30 on our tickets that we now realize we didn't need to.  It was free before 10pm.  Lesson learned there.  I don't think we spent more because it was NYE then we might have on any other night.  It was basically a double date; dinner and out to a bar that turned into a club after 10pm. Nothing too extravagant.  And I'm excited that we'll be hanging out with this couple again in a few weeks for MJ's company holiday party.  I'm just a regular party animal over here!!

I'm a homebody by nature.  I like the couch and I love my pajamas but along the way I'm realizing that going out is just one more way to keep you feeling young and keep your relationship young.  You know, keep it fresh.  And you are never too old to do it; even if your sore hips and inability to stay up past 10pm on most nights tell you otherwise.  My parents who are in their 60's and have been married for 40 years went out.  I enjoy going out and acting like I'm in my 20's minus the whole I'll never drink again hangover from hell routine.  That part is NEVER fun and if it happens on a regular basis when you are in your 30's you probably have some serious  issues.  I like flirting and dirty dancing with my husband.  I like for him to see me all dolled up and I think I have more fun going out as a married couple then I did as a single girl.  It happens a handful of times a year which is plenty and when it does we have a lot of fun with it.

We have a good time whether were are watching TV on the couch or dancing at a club.  I don't really care so much where we celebrate or how we celebrate as long as we're doing it together.  

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