When My Husband is Away

I'm not one of those women who has never spent a night away from her husband.  Mj was gone for eleven months in 2008 (now that was awful) and he did a ton of traveling in 2011.  I actually consider myself lucky if he has to go somewhere and it's for a month or less because it's nothing compared to 11 months.  Back when I still watched it there was a couple on Real Housewives of Orange County who claimed to have never spent a night apart and even refused to go on any overnight trips without the other and I thought that was ridiculous.  If it's a trust issue then that seriously needs to be addressed.  I think that couple is divorced now.  Just because you are married doesn't mean that you should be joined at the hip.  Everyone needs their own space even if it's just spending a day or evening with your friends.  Even if you think you don't chances are that you actually do.  Codependency is not healthy and absence can make the heart grow fonder.  If  it's Europe, Hawaii or something big I want that trip to be with Mj and if he thinks he's going somewhere like that without me he's got another think coming.  He and his friends do long weekend biking or Vegas trips.  I miss him and I might get a little jealous about being left behind, but I think it's great to see him get out and have fun with his friends.  He wants the same thing for me.  In fact he wishes I would! I hardly ever go anywhere overnight and the one time that I did he said how cool it was having the house to himself.  I know he loves me and doesn't want me to go away forever so there is no point getting my feelings hurt about it. 

This time he was gone for a week.  I love him to pieces but there are some perks when he's gone. 

• I get to park in the middle of our two car garage and have plenty of room to get in and out on all sides.  My backing up skills are questionable and having that extra space means I don't have to worry about knocking my side view mirror off or backing over the lawn.
• The house is neat as a pin.  There isn't random stuff laying about everywhere I look.  There are no clothes on the floor, shoes strewn about or dishes piled up in the kitchen to stress me out.    
• I don't have to cook or feel bad about not cooking. I can eat whatever I want for dinner and not have to answer to anyone.  
• I get way more much needed sleep! I've been in bed by 10:00 pm every work night he's been gone because I'm not trying to stay up longer then I should waiting for him to go to bed.
• I'm willing to spend the night at my mom's.  I stayed there Saturday night and got in some good quality family time.  I do go to Mom's house without him but it's really hard for me to stay the night when I know he's at home. 

The downside:

• I have to push the trash bin out onto the street and sometimes water the plants. 
• If there are any technical difficulties with the TV or my computer I'm on my own.   Usually, I just whine to him that my computer or the TV is not doing such and such and then he'll fix it for me.
• If there is a spider I'm forced to kill it myself, trap it under a cup (yes, I really did this one time) or live in fear.  He is the designated spider killer due to phobias which are beyond my control.   
• I don't have my cuddle bear to watch TV with and sleep with.   
• I come home to an empty lonely house and I don't get to see his smiling face at the end of a long and tiring work day.  We don't do much of anything on weeknights but I love it that we are together.
• I MISS HIM!!!!! He energizes me and lifts my spirits.  Life just isn't the same without him around and I'm always glad to have him back.

Just because we enjoy time apart doesn't mean we don't love each other.  I could totally just be saying this because we had no choice in the matter which kind of forced me to get used to the idea of him being gone, but I do think it can be a good thing to have that feeling of missing your partner now and then.  I wouldn't choose it, but it does reinforce just how much I love him and makes me appreciate him that much more when he gets back.