8.15.2013

Blind as a Bat

People who were born with good eyes are so lucky. Mine are so bad my retina detached.  For a while I was scared that I was going to actually go blind. 

Going to the eye doctor is probably one of my least favorite doctor visits. When I go to the dentist I'm usually a star. They compliment me on my no fillings molars and perfect enamel.  I've heard that my teeth are sooo white more then a few times and even though I don't floss they grudgingly admit that I am getting away with it but that I won't forever.  Paps are no fun of course but I'm over it.  I do it and it's done.  Blah.

The eye doctor is a totally different story altogether.  We do the initial exam without glasses and it's like taking a test that I can't study for and am designed to fail.  What's the smallest line you can read? Uh, I can't read any of them.  Which is better, one or two?  I don't know I can't see either one.  Then driving home with my eyes dilated is comical.  I can only do it because I live so close.  They give me black shades that basically look like cheap plastic sunglasses with no arms.  I stick them inside my glasses to keep the sunlight out and I drive with my chest in the wheel like an old lady.  I avoid looking left or right for fear of seeing someone laughing at me. 

If I want new glasses which I usually don't because I typically only wear them at home and generally hate every pair that I get then it's expensive.  High index lenses don't come cheap and unless I want my glasses to look like coke bottles I have to pay the extra money to get them.  It's usually about $300 or so and even with the high index it's still a pretty thick lens. And it's not the lens itself that bothers me.  My eyes don't look tiny or too big.  It's just that blurred area where the sides of my face look mashed in because you are looking at it through the lens.  So embarrassing.  My husband is always sweet enough to tell me that I look cute in my glasses even if I feel not so cute wearing them (post about that here).  He says that he's never ever dated a girl that didn't wear glasses so it's nothing new for him.  If I don't get glasses then I put all my insurance money towards the contacts and it's not so bad.  I'm a pretty decent contact wearer but you gotta take 'em out and put 'em in and sometimes they get dry and irritated. I've learned to tolerate a lot of discomfort in my eyes.

When I went in the other day to try on my trial contact lenses for my doctor he asked the front desk lady to help me.  I followed her to the sink area and she took the contact lenses out and placed them on the counter next to the sink and waited.  She stood there hovering even as I washed my hands.  I've been wearing contacts since high school; I think I can do this on my own I thought to myself.  I took out the first contact lens and then I remembered why she was waiting there watching me.  I can't see.  She took one look at my prescription and knew that placing the lenses on the counter and walking away would not be enough.   I would need someone there to physically put it in my hand so I could find it.  And then hand me the next one.

As blind as I am I can be corrected to almost 20/20.  Unassisted I am blind as a bat.  Except bats can actually see so I wonder where that saying comes from.  I can barely count the fingers on my own hand in front of my face and everything around me blends into a gelatinous mash of blurred shapes and colors.  I know my house pretty well but if I'm in a different environment or outside I have to feel my way around slowly.  When I look at my cell phone without my glasses it's 1 inch from my face.  I look ridiculous until Mj snatches my phone and tells me to put on my glasses.  If it weren't for contacts and glasses I might have had to go to blind school like Mary on Little House on The Prairie.  Is anyone reading this old enough to remember that show?

You might be thinking that you are blind too and that I'm probably not as blind as I think I am but chances are you will be wrong.  I've been wearing glasses since 4th grade and by now they are bad.  Like -10 bad.  I haven't met a single person who has a higher prescription then yours truly.  There probably are some folks in their 60's or 70's that do.  The retina in my right eye detached when I was in college.  Normally it takes a blow to the eye to do that but mine just happened spontaneously.  I had to have surgery to repair it.  They put a band around the back of my eye so it's shaped more like a fat hot dog then a circle.  I had to have some laser in the left to fix a few holes.  With such a high prescription at such a young age I figured it would just get worse until I couldn't see anymore.  I finally asked my doctor.  Am I going blind?  He assured me that I wasn't.  What a relief.

So yeah.  Going to the eye doctor sucks because it's a reminder of how visually impaired I am.  I know some people with bad teeth.  I got bad eyes.  My husband got perfect eyes AND teeth.  Life is simply not fair.

16 comments :

A Life Less Traveled said...

I'm the opposite. I hate going to the dentist because I have sensitive gums and I feel they are always pointing out the negatives. Any other type of doctor, I'm good to go.

Zobia said...

Great post! I think eye glasses add personality to any look, but sometimes I just want my face to feel free so I switched to contacts and I love it!

-Zobia from The Eternity Journal

Mrs. K said...

I totally feel you. I just went to the eye doctor yesterday. Dang -10, you definitely beat me. lol. I'm -6 but I can relate to some of what you posted about--not being able to see any line of the eye chart without glasses. I hate my glasses too because of the stinking thick lens despite paying money to shave them down but my contacts also irritate my eyes often. Blah

Law_Fal said...

I hate glasses, my contacts annoy me and I am terrified of Lasik. I pretty much hate the dentist too. All doctors actually. I guess I have bad everything :-( On a lighter note, I'm glad the nerd glasses look became stylish so I don't have to feel so bad when I wear mine!

Courtney B said...

I have good eyes and teeth, but my ears? That's another story! I've had problems with them since the day I was born. I will probably be deaf before I'm 40... or close to it. My husband always jokes that he's going to get me hearing aides for Christmas or my birthday... yeah. Real funny. NOT!
I guess we all win some and we lose some :)

Reginia - PoisedinPrint.com said...

Going to the any doctor's office makes me ill. I have great eyes, good teeth, and a muffin top. Oh the horror of hear, "You need to lose XX pounds because you're overweight".

Lovelyladyjb said...

Your explanation of driving home from the eye doctor is spot on. It made me LOL. :) New follower

Nicole | Pharr Away said...

OMG, it's like I wrote this post myself! I couldn't stop laughing because of the familiarity of it all. I mean all the way down to needing assistance without my glasses. My hands are also a blurry mess when they're right in front of me and my phone is definitely an inch from my face without glasses (I also close one eye in an attempt to help myself). I usually only wear glasses when I'm at home because the thickness is so embarrassing (especially for my age). I'm practically blind as well, dear, so I TOTALLY get it! I too, prefer the dentist over the eye doctor and I've been putting off an appointment for a month now! It's madness! Luckily, at my last visit my doctor stated that he doubt it would get any worse *sigh*!!!

Faith said...

I hate the dentist ever since I feel down the stairs and chipped my front tooth.

As for eye tests that's my favorite.

I never would have guessed this about you. I'm glad you're not going blind.

fancythatfancythis.com said...

I wear contacts and have bad eye sight so I totally relate to this post. I HATE wearing my glasses. But I can't use the computer for too long with my contacts.

Ugh. So frustrating.

Real College Student of Atlanta said...

I'm also so blind haha! people don't know the struggle. but I love wearing my glasses!

The Sweetest Thing said...

Bless your heart!!!!! That's how I feel about the dentist! Your husband got crazy lucky!

Benlovesting said...

Thanks for sharing!

Lauren {Fizz and Frosting} said...

I agree, the eye doctor is NOT FUN. I hate reading the stupid eye chart too. My sight isn't all that bad but I still feel really dumb when I'm trying to read it!

Lauren
Fizz and Frosting

Amanda @ MyLifeIGuess.com said...

OMG! Me eyes aren't the greatest, but I'm only at a -3.75. My boyf always makes fun of how blind I am without them because he has near perfect vision.

Whitney Cypert said...

This post made me giggle out loud at my desk. "How many lines can you read?" "I can't read any of them." Hahaha oh goodness. My eyes are pretty bad too but not as bad as yours. I think mine are both like -4.5 if that is even a thing. I don't know. All I know is that without my contacts I can't see crap except blurry shapes and colors. Good to hear that you aren't going blind!

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