People are complicated. So, so very complex. I still think it's kind of a miracle that you can even find one person on this earth that you want to spend the rest of your life and with whom you can maintain a healthy happy relationship. There are so many big things and so many little things to consider. Some people can't even make it past one date and that is the main topic of this post.
I am obsessed with this morning radio segment called Second Try or is it Good-Bye that tries to get second dates for people, or at the very least find out why they got ghosted. Most of the callers do not get that second date. It seems that once people have made up their mind that they don't want to date someone it's hard to change it.
This is the latest list of first date dont's. The first set is here. It's pretty funny.
1. Don't post every single detail of your magical date and prince charming like kiss on Facebook. Your date deserves not to have everything that happened (even if it was really good) outlined across social media. YES, she got a second date with the agreement that she would be more discreet in the future.
2. Don't tell the waitress it's her birthday inviting staff to rush the table and sing Happy Birthday when it's not her birthday. She may or may not be comfortable with that type of charade and you don't know her well enough to know either way. He realized that might be a bit uncomfortable for someone, and agreed not to do it again. YES.
3. Don't invite someone over if your DVR is 90% full, your sheets are in a twisted lump because you didn't make the bed, and the sink is full of dirty dishes. This is a reflection of who you are as a person and 'aint nobody got time for that. NO second date.
4. Don't invite a date in for some sexy time when there are stuffed animals covering your entire bed. So many that you have to spoil the mood transferring them to another location to make room so they can stare at you with their beady stuffed animal eyes while you get hot and heavy. It turns out some women find men with that many stuffed animals on display creepy. NO.
5. Don't ambush him with "meet the parents" on your very first date. This makes him feel set up and like he's being tested before he's even had a chance to date you. She explained that it is a spot they frequent regularly. She chose it so she would feel comfortable, not because she expected her parents would show up, and she would have felt rude not inviting them to join the date. YES.
6. Don't interrupt a romantic stroll on the beach to get your entire face painted like a tiger by a street artist. It's just kind of weird when you are just getting to know someone, and now your date has to be seen with a half man half tiger. NO
7. Don't wax poetic about your future yellow couch, in your future living room when you have literally just met. It's a little intense. What if he doesn't like yellow? NO
8. Don't be rude to your waiter. Furthermore, when you are called out on it don't admit that you have no problem with "putting someone in their place" when you feel it is appropriate. This guy was clearly a major jerk. Her date said the waiter was flirting and interjecting himself into their conversation and for those crimes he absolutely deserved to be treated like an intruder and did not deserve a tip. NO.
9. Don't choose a burger joint for your first date, order a salad and pair it with two jars of baby food stashed in your purse. I totally get being health conscious. I ordered a salad on our first date, but I do think the baby food is a bit much for a first date. In her defense, she explained that baby food has less preservatives and she simply likes to maintain a fit lifestyle. The guy was a real piece of work though because he kept making really rude jokes about how when you are on a diet you wouldn't eat dog food so why baby food and kept running his mouth, so that they couldn't even have a mature conversation about it. She's better off without him anyway. NO
Good thing those people weren't on a weird reality show called married at first date. Most of the offenses aren't that bad and are probably just things that shouldn't happen when people are forming first impressions and trying to decide if they like each other or not. I dismissed people for far less when I was dating, and lucky for me I didn't do anything on our first date that sent MJ running for the hills.