Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Choices I make generally always come down to price and unfortunately my wedding is no exception. I've had to pick and choose what matters most to me focusing on those and letting the others go. For me that is venue and photographer. Our venue is a newly renovated hotel ballroom for the reception. It has a gorgeous garden area outside for the ceremony. I felt that if I could find a venue that was pretty on its own it would save me on additional decorating costs later. Generic maybe, but the price fit. It will be beautiful and also convenient for everyone especially our out of town guests to have everything in one spot. There were some amazing photographers I would have loved to have do our wedding starting at $2500 and up but I just couldn't do it. I like our photographer's portfolio and think I will end up with beautiful pictures. We are not doing engagement photos at all. I'd like to but just not sure if it's a must have considering budget. It might be fun to save that for a year we aren't spending so much on a wedding and I look forward to doing that and still being as in love as we are on our wedding day.  I stuck to a $500 or less budget on my dress and I really love it.

I will consider up lighting because we got such an awesome deal on our DJ in the first place that I might be able to fit it in. I didn't even know what it was until another blogger enlightened me-excuse the pun!   I really want chair covers because I can see just how amazingly well it transforms a room but may not because the chairs they use are actually OK. I was loving the look of tall elaborate centerpieces with fresh flowers but I am piecing together my own to cut costs. I am spending a little bit more on invitations then I thought I would because the cheap samples I got just looked....well cheap. I think I will go ahead and do the personalized table number cards and place cards because I found a decent price and feel it's one cute detail I can afford. I will forgo an additional Hors D'oeuvre at cocktail hour but may host a bit more alcohol.  I am telling myself that doing what I can is going to be A OK. It's not like my wedding is going to suck because there wasn't a fruit display in addition to the cheese or no chair covers.

Buying this house at the same time has added some extra pressure and provided some clarity on what's really important. Instead of Europe we will do Hawaii. We will have a good time wherever we go as long as we are together. Saving up money so that we can buy down our mortgage points for a more affordable monthly payment and getting our washer/dryer and refrigerator pales in comparison to having an extra dessert in addition to our wedding cake. Not that my wedding isn't important. Not that I don't want to provide a wonderful experience for our guests, but the fact that we are throwing this "party" and bringing everyone together in the first place is huge in itself. I will attend to the extras that I can but if not then so be it. The important thing and what I have always wanted is to have a beautiful event, have people that I care about there to celebrate this wonderful occasion, have a good time, and have great pictures to remember it all later.

Would I love to plan a no holds barred anything my heart desires wedding? YES!! But since that is not possible I will not sweat the small stuff. I will simply enjoy that fact that I get to do this at all and take pleasure in every moment. As far as I'm concerned the biggest thing missing from my wedding is likely to be my big sister and that's not something that even costs money. This wedding is not about the stuff it's about our love. And it's about our friends and family coming together to celebrate it.

Let Me Upgrade Ya

Today Mj and I woke up and left for work at the same time. Why is this significant? Because it's officially his first day back at work since November and the first day of his new job. He looked so cute in his button up shirt, tie and sweater. I almost had a nervous breakdown when he spent about $1,300 on work clothes Saturday. Yep. Over a grand. In one day. On top of the $350 he spent last week before he flew to VA for training. Oh, and this is supposed to be the first month of his new budget that will get us on track for buying the new house. He is not used to having to wait when he wants and/or needs something. Being on a budget sometimes means you can't get it all now and that is something that might take a while to settle in. It really rattled me but I can't get too mad about it because it is for work and suits are not cheap. It is also the extent of his shopping for work clothes for the year. Most of his work clothes are still in storage and he can't get to them until we move into the new house so he had to do something.

Speaking of which. They start building it on Thursday. We are going to go out to the site on Saturday and meet with the builder. We had our design browse appointment on Sunday and ended up with a whopping $10,137 dollars in upgrades. I thought our loan agent was crazy when she said that she was giving us $10,000 for upgrades. Yeah right! It adds up so fast that it makes your head spin though. Also, a lot of the so called up grades are less of an upgrade and more a basic necessity. Like a garage door opener. How are you going to sell someone a garage and not the automatic garage door opener part in this day and age? Oh, and who ever thought that medicine cabinets in your bathrooms or an extra clothing bar in your closet would be considered an upgrade? We did go for some upgraded carpet, kitchen appliances, and doors among other things which definitely added up but a lot of the upgrades that we got were just little things that they get you on that should probably come with the house in the first place. When all is said and done $10,000 only adds $100 per month to your mortgage. Not that I don't think every $100 counts but by the end of this process I just kind of threw my hands up and went with it. We will get what we want in the house and be done with it.

The paperwork on this is never ending. Bank statements, W2's, pay stubs, VA documentation, letters of explanation and it just goes on and on. We got this huge packet in the mail-half of which I don't even understand and had to sign just about every page. They are waiting on one last bit of information and then we will be officially submitted to the underwriting department for final review and approval of our loan.

It's been another busy weekend capped off with the Superbowl on Sunday. I really enjoyed watching the game with my family. I have a bit of a snack food hangover today so I am feeling slow and heavy which I hate. We were out all day and finally made it home around 9:00pm where I collapsed into bed just as soon as I could. I forgot to take my sleeping pill before getting into to bed and was too tired to get up and take it but I somehow managed to sleep ok without it.

Another busy weekend down and many more coming up.

Cont'd: Under Contract, Now Where's My Loan?

On Shaky Ground

I felt the earthquake yesterday but it seems like no one else but me ever does. I was laying in bed when I felt it rattling beneath me. At just the moment where I might have started getting scared and was really wishing that hubby were here and that I was not alone it stopped. I have felt shaking before and usually figure I must be imagining it but I was totally validated when I heard that it happened at 6:19am, was a 5.5 on the Richter scale and based out of Rosarito, Mexico. I am a regular seismograph.

My life is feeling a little shaky right now too. House hunting has taken over my life to the point where I am just plain old worn out. The contract is signed, the financing is -hopefully- secured and we have our final design browse appointment Sunday. Yes, super bowl Sunday and it's a 1 1/2 drive!! It was the only time we could get with hubby being out of town this week and the one right down the street being closed over the weekend.

Oh, and get this. A foreclosure property that fit our price range came up yesterday. It has a deck and looks pretty nice from the four pictures we saw. It has fees but they are low and it's right in the middle of a lush golf course. It would mean doing that nasty commute but it's priced lower then the new house. Timing is everything. It was comforting to hear Mj say he still likes ours better because all of those what if's started running through my mind. I hate that feeling of second guessing yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. Especially on something so HUGE!!

I do expect things to calm down now that a decision is made but there are still so many variables. And the number crunching continues. What will our final interest rate end up being? How much does it cost to lock the loan rate? How much of the interest rate will points buy down? How many of those darn points can we buy? It's crazy how you have to sign your life away and pay $3,000 up front when all you can see of your so called house is a pile of dirt and there are still so many variables that will have a major impact on our monthly payment. They can't even tell us exactly when the house will be done so we can move in. We have heard April and May. All we really know is that it will be about 60 days after they pour the foundation. Whenever that is. Sigh.

This is a good thing. I can't wait to move into a HOUSE!! But it's scary too and I am just hoping for the best.

Cont'd:  Let Me Upgrade Ya

We Bought Ourselves A House

So, we did it! We got the house. We went over on Friday and signed the final contract. We already had our initial browse design appointment and we have a final one set for next Sunday. I am filled with a combination of fear and relief.

This was a very difficult decision for us to make. Mj tends to worry a little less then I do about money and finances and he wasn't so sure if I was going to go for this. It's about $25K above what I felt our bottom line budget was. I crunched numbers and ran it every which way I could and decided that if we come up with some more cash to buy our interest rate down with points then we could make it work. Even if we don't end up doing this in the end I need to know that it's at least an option.

People think I'm crazy for being so fanatical about savings and finances. Some people come out of the womb with a Coach purse and I came out with a savings account. I got my first job at Ross Dress for Less at 16 and have been putting money aside ever since. It has served me well over the years. Even if I don't make a whole lot when I have needed money for big important purchases it has been there. I say no to shopping, trips, and lots of other things I want all the while this money has been sitting in the bank. That's what you have to do. If you dip into it every time you want something its going to disappear and not be there when you really need it. Well, now is one of those times. Most of what Mj saved over this year he was gone that we thought we would use as a down payment has towards paying off some bills. If we need what's left of my life savings to get into this house then so be it. It's tough to let go of though. It's been comforting to know it's there even if I never touched it.

We may not have any money left over for new furniture after we get the necessary washer, dryer, and refrigerator. There aren't going to be any extras added onto our wedding package. We will still go somewhere but we won't be going to Europe for our honeymoon now. Certain sacrifices have to be made in order to get what you truly want.

Unfortunately, it is not cheap to live in this state in this county even right now when the housing market the way it is. I want to have a place that we can happily and comfortably live in for at least the next ten years and I think we have found it in this house. All my life I have really settled when it comes to a lot of different things including where I live. I have lived in places I really didn't like to keep my rent low. I have settled for a tiny studio for the last five years and for the first time I am not going to have to do that. Even though I am scared it feels kind of good too.

One of the things I love about Mj is his willingness to change and be flexible. He is not used to being on a budget but I have worked one out for him and he's okay with it because he understands the bigger picture.

For me this is no different then any other year. You sacrifice. You live within your means. You don't always get everything you want. And you save. Even if you can think of no particular reason to do so.

Cont'd:  On Shakey Ground

House Hunting Drama

It's so hard to find a house that you like. Well, let me rephrase that. One you like AND can afford. One house we went into smelled like moldy cat and the other was missing the front portion of the stove. Never seen that before. There is always something and you typically can expect that you are never going to find everything you wanted in one house. It's either price, location, the size of the yard or that extra sink you won't get. Unless your pockets are super deep and sometimes even then something has to give.

Last week we looked at a new build on our way home from another day of house hunting with our realtor. She happened to mention a new KB Homes Community and it was on our way home so we stopped in. I love looking at model homes even when I'm not in the market. We really liked it but quickly put it out of our head as an option. It's too expensive.

We kept looking. We put in an offer on a Short Sale condo in Eastlake. The price is right but we are dismayed by the $433 monthly fees. There Mello-Roos AND HOA's everywhere you look in that area and it can eat up your budget in one swallow. The commutes not all that great either. We already know we can't afford to live centrally and we would prefer a detached home but in this market you can't be too choosy.

Days go by and we hear nothing. We start getting cold feet about the commute and can't seem to stomach those high monthly fees. Mj's thoughts turn back to that new build. It's about a minute from where we live. We already know the commute is not all that bad and the HOA totals only $135. It's more expensive but maybe, just maybe we can do it because we won't have $400 plus in fees.

We call and find out they have only one lot left in this phase so we scramble around getting paperwork together and our check book so that we can snap up the last one in this price range. We submit to our 3rd credit check in about as many months because the builder will pay $6700 towards closing costs if we use them.

And then more waiting. Meanwhile, a different realtor who is trying to get us a foreclosure tells us he has a house for us. We don't know the price yet and likely won't be able to get a look inside for another week. What to do? Do we sign a contract on the new house when there is a possibility of another lurking?

Today I find out we are approved for the new build. The lending agent is going to send me an e mail outlining what we need to pay off and what additional documentation we are going to need to provide. At about the same time I find out that the foreclosure is going to be too expensive for us anyways. They have another one but they don't know the price yet. I wasn't totally thrilled with the pics but it's hard to tell without seeing it in person. I am already thinking this likely won't work and I probably won't like it better then the new build so I am able to put that out of my head and focus on trying to get the new house.

The cold hard numbers show up in my inbox. Not only did we get pre approved but it also allows for about $10,000 in upgrade design options. Time to do a happy dance right? Well, not so fast. The bank can approve us for a million bucks but it makes no difference if we can't afford the monthly payment. I talk it over with the selling agent but it's not looking too good. I am absolutely not willing to take on a monthly mortgage over what I feel we can comfortably afford. If it means we have to walk away from ten houses then so be it.

I drive home dejected and my mind racing faster then the cars whizzing by me on the freeway. If only I made more money. If only we had saved more. Is it really necessary for us to have a wedding? Oh, and what about all that money we spent on my car 3 months ago? This new house is slipping away and I am wondering how are we ever going to find a house in this expensive competitive housing market. Are we going to be stuck in the studio forever or settle for a dump? What can I do aside from winning the lottery or robbing a bank to make this happen?

We have a design appointment scheduled for tomorrow and I have already imagined where we will put our furniture. This is our one window of opportunity to get into a house. Prices are still low but it won't last and if we don't get one soon there might not be a second chance.

Beer with dinner? Hells yeah. I really need it right about now.

Cont'd: We Bought Ourselves A House

Getting Pre Approved

You'd better not have any secrets from your significant other when you go into a meeting to discuss a home loan. If there was anything about your credit, income, debts, bank accounts or finances that you were keeping on the down low it will be exposed with a quickness to your significant other and some random stranger who will punch your digits into a computer and decide your fate.

In our case, there are no secrets but it is kind of odd to be sitting there so exposed. Things that you may not normally talk about even with people you are very close to is fodder for discussion. Nothing is off limits. Income, job title, bank account balances, who you owe, and what you owe. You can't run and you can't hide.

You may have an idea about what kind of house you want but as you divulge all of your financial matters you are about to find out what kind of house you can get.

Gone are the days where you could walk in there unemployed and be approved for $500,000. The banks actually seem to care about whether or not you can actually make your mortgage payment or not now. We went in there hoping for a certain amount and it turns out we may not quite get that but we are hopefully still going to be in a good position to find something decent within our budget. That is actually OK by me. I am fine with being "forced" into a house that we can afford rather then being ushered into something that may overextend us. From the get go that has always been my primary concern. I want a nice house but I am not willing to push the limits of our monthly income to get it. If that means we get a little bit less house then so be it. We will make it our own, be together, and be much better off in the long run by playing it safe.

We actually got pre approved already by our bank for exactly what we wanted but this home lending service works with the real estate agent we are hoping can get us into a foreclosure and he requires that we at least get pre approved with his preferred lender.

We have great credit and few debts. I wish I earned more money. Don't we all? There is no point in playing the blame game but I know that would help A LOT. I regret that I already own a property which will count against me with a lender.

What I regret even more then that is an old student loan debt that I co signed on for my Ex Husband. It's this black cloud over my head that won't go away. I hate it that even in divorce he is still dragging me down. I take pride in my credit and I hate that what happens to it is not 100% in my control. I paid my student loan debts off but I still have his lurking in the shadows of my credit report. If I had been smart I would have insisted on him figuring out a way to refinance and get my name off before finalizing the divorce. Lesson learned the hard way on that one. Don't EVER co-sign for anyone on anything. Just don't.

We won't have any problem getting a home loan. It's just a matter of how much.

Cont'd: We Are Officially House Hunters

The Saver and The Spender

In every relationship there is usually a spender and a saver. It seems like some force of nature that draws opposites in this category to one another. Each person has their designated role and the silent and sometimes not so silent tug of war ensues as the pair makes their way through a life together where the subject of money is simply impossible to ignore. Just one more thing to keep things interesting and although it can be annoying at times I do think it can be a good thing. Guess which one I am? Yes, the saver.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving we went to a store to catch some of the Black Friday deals but without the massive crowds. Mj picks out a navigation system for his car. Now that I have one in my car of course he wants to be like me. After checking out the cameras and the flat screen TV's he decides on a flat screen as a Christmas present for his mom. The total for both purchases is around $750 and while my eyes are bugging out of my head he barely bats an eye.

The next day while I am at work I get an e mail from him saying that he's decided to keep the TV. What!! I can't understand this because although my TV is very small it is only temporary until we move and he has a large flat screen TV in storage and purchased a projector while he was overseas. Additionally, he has a regular TV in storage as well. Why in the world do we need essentially, 5 TVs between us? What is he going to get his mother now on top of this huge purchase?

I walk in the door after work and find that not only has he decided to keep it but it is already neatly set up and displaying Monday night football. The old TV has been relegated to a sliver of space between the wall and the closet. I look at it and him in stunned silence. I am even more confused when he tells me that he kept the TV because he has decided that he wants to get his mother a camera instead. OK....so why isn't the TV still in the box ready to go back to the store I ask. His reply is basically that instead of taking it all the way back to the store he just decided to keep it. Just for the heck of it.

I cannot comprehend such things. You see, I am a saver. If I have extra money which is rarely these days I prefer to save it rather then indulge it. A penny saved is a penny earned and although I really really wish that some day I could walk outside and pluck a dollar off of my own personal money tree I know that is never going to happen. My last major purchases came when I moved into my place almost five years ago and was forced to by a new computer when the old one died on me and some other things to get set up in my new place. Oh, and who could forget the Ugg Boot meltdown in October and the dominoe effect of anxiety my car purchase set off last month. I plan and save for my little mini trips here and there and I do buy clothes with coupons here and there when I can. Next year I will likely have to spend a hundred or so on a new cell phone and I don't even want to think about how much my wedding dress is going to cost.

In no uncertain terms I told him this was very upsetting for me considering all of our expenses we have coming up and the fact that he isn't going back to work until mid January. I can't afford to go to Vegas with him and am agonizing over a clothing purchase I made yesterday. I don't even know how I am going to pay for some of my upcoming expenses and he just decides to keep a $400 TV just for the hell of it. "It's not fair," I basically whined. Once I got him to acknowledge my feelings then I pretty much had to get over it. I trust him not to behave recklessly and spend beyond his means and when it comes down to it his means are different then mine. I have to take that into account. The more money you have the more you can spend. Just because my strained budget can't stretch to accommodate certain luxuries doesn't mean that I have to hold him accountable to the same tight standard.


That being said, we are going to sit down come January and work on our finances together. I am good at saving and budgeting and he pretty much buys what he wants. Mostly because he can. He is not out of control but to keep him on track I want to come up with a reasonable budget for him based on his expenses and income. Not mine. It's only fair. As a couple, we need to work together by discussing big purchases-not that I will ever make any!! We also need to settle on a system of savings and managing our joint finances that is comfortable for both of us. We have the joint savings which we do deposit money in and we have a joint checking account but haven't really done too much with it. I think it's always best for partners to still have their own individual accounts too.

When you think about it two savers together would have NO fun. Life would be filled with cheap low budget trips and stress over every penny. Two spenders together would find themselves in a world of financial trouble highlighted by way too many things and a life that depends solely on credit cards and debt. Don't get me wrong. If you make a lot of money by all means spend it. It's the spending AT OR BELOW YOUR MEANS part and putting money aside into savings that is key. Whatever those means may be and like it or not, that determines how much you are able to spend. You might be able to spend more if you make more but that also means you should be saving more!! Oh, and having credit cards does not count as having money.

Instead of fighting about these differences we can communicate, take a little from each, balance each other out and hopefully have the best of both worlds. Well, that's the plan anyways.

*Frugalista Money Tip: Spend at or below your means and save at or above your means*

Is College Really Worth It These Days?

I just read an article on MSN money about how the average cost of a 4 year private University education has climbed to $35,636 per year. I am so glad that I am not a young high school graduate today who has to make the decision as to whether going to College is worth the money or not. When I graduated from high school it wasn't a question. You might have to go the 2 year Community College route first but bottom line, going to College was always seen as the way to go no matter what. These days, I am just not so sure.

The economy is basically in the toilet right now, but even if it weren't it is beginning to seem that the sheer cost of a College degree has outstripped and over shadowed the very purpose for which it was intended. Yeah, you may go to College for personal growth and enrichment purposes but ultimately your intention is usually to gain a return on that investment in income once you enter the job market. Trina Thompson may have been the only one ridiculous enough to sue over it but she is definitely not the only one who feels short changed.

Are 4 year Universities only for the wealthy and those who are smart enough or poor enough to earn full scholarships and grants? It seems the Community College route 1st is the only way to go if you are willing and/or able to because to spend $140,000 on a degree, especially to work in a field that is not a typically high earning one is plain stupid. State school prices are out of control too. Gone are the days where you could just go and major in general studies or whatever else just to get the degree and the satisfaction of a goal accomplished and worry about the field you will enter later. You could always wait until you get your Master's for a more focused approach once you figure out what you really want to do. I really don't think that's such a good idea these days. I didn't really have a plan but I knew I wanted a degree so I went and majored in a Sociology but if I were in the situation that these new high school graduates are facing and I didn't have a solid career path and plan in mind I might not have gone at all. And, if that had been the case I wonder where I would be now?

I worry about my little sis who is going to an extremely expensive school in an expensive city too far away to cut costs by staying at home with such stiff requirements that hardly anyone can even finish in 4 years. She has taken out a lot of student loans while she works part time. I want nothing more then for her to hit it big and be so successful that the student loans won't hurt her. I believe that if anyone can do it she can and I really hope that she does.

I am very glad I got my degree. I went to a 4 year publicly funded University. I graduated with 16k in loans and felt that wasn't really all that bad. I lived on campus (apartment, not super expensive must buy a meal plan residence halls) for two years and commuted the rest. I didn't get to "go away" to college but that's OK. My semester exchange out of state at Spelman College my junior year more then made up for it. The loans are paid off, I don't want to start all over and I still don't know what I want to be so I am not even considering a Master's degree at this point. I feel better about myself in general having earned my BA and I do believe that even though it was not a requirement for my current job it certainly helped me get it.

As an adult online and accelerated programs seem to be the route many are taking but those are by no means cheap. There are many who haven't gone to college who are highly successful and some who have degrees that are barely squeaking by. What is one to think? I wouldn't discourage anyone from getting a degree. I'm just saying that you really need to be careful about how much money you are willing to invest and cut corners financially where you can because there really are no guarantees on what you will get out of it. Crippling loans can carry huge consequences.

If you insist on going to that prestigious school because it has an excellent reputation, is far away from home and has the total college experience written all over it that's great, but be prepared for the possibility that you might be paying for it for the rest of your life.

Fall Shopping Extravaganza

Plane Ticket $435. Car Registration $330. Getting some nice quality fall basics that look good on me and make me feel good. Priceless. So, I did it. I knew that if I waited even a week that It wasn't gonna happen so on the way home from work on Monday just over 24 hours after the Ugg meltdown I drove to Burlington Coat factory and bought a classic Brown Miss Sixty Pea Coat with a hood and a finely detailed pleat in the back.

You can't go wrong with a classic Pea Coat

Then I brazenly drove to Macy's where I proceeded to try on every tall boot in stock until I discovered the comfort and casual chick effortlessness of the Brown Steve Madden suede slouch boot. It only took a minute to fall in love with a camel colored pair of Alfani Flex n Step pumps. The pumps are only about an inch high and have all of this wonderful padding inside so that they feel like Easy Spirits on the inside but still look fashionable on the outside.

I got a similar pump in camel

I got this boot in brown

They were all on sale and will make great additions to my slowly growing wardrobe. A friend of mine was looking at some old (very embarrassing) pics of me and he made the comment "You've never really been into fashion." Way harsh. But it's true. I have never been stylish or even close to trendy. Not for lack of trying, but I just haven't ever had the best eye when it comes to putting things together. And you really need that when you are trying to look good on a budget. I'd buy something just because it was cheap without really considering the garment itself and how it's going to look with other things. So, I'm workin' on it. Sometimes I wonder why I even care. Out of all of the things to care about in the world what difference does it make if I look cute? Well, if it makes me happy and is not hurting anything then who the hell cares why it matters!! If it does it does.

Then Mj booked our airline tickets to Delaware. Whoa! I could feel my anxiety meter going up a bit but for better or for worse I was really glad that I didn't wait because that would have surely been the nail in the coffin for my Fall shopping spree extravaganza. Yeah, our anniversary is next month and Christmas will be here before we know it. I have already started making my little lists of money spent vs planned future expenses vs my budget. But it's OK. I went on a mini shopping spree and the sky didn't fall down. Big surprise there! It really is gonna be OK. Now, the only question is when the heck am I gonna get to wear the jacket and boots. Fall was was in the air last week but today It's supposed to be 80 degrees!

Ugg Anxiety

I have a problem with spending money. It's not what you're probably thinking though. Whereas most people have a problem with spending too much money I have a problem with spending too little. How is that a problem you might wonder. Well, when buying a pair of Ugg boots (that I actually have the money for) causes me to burst into tears unexpectedly while telling Mj about them during our cyber Date....Well, that is when it could be considered a problem.

I'm very organized with my bills. I get paid once a month, pay my bills online once a month, and go to the ATM once a month. I have a set amount of money transferred automatically from my checking to my savings accounts so I don't even have to think about that. A lot of people find the one paycheck a month difficult, but it's no problem at all for me. I know how to make a budget and stick to it.

I was feeling pretty footloose and fancy free when it came to my finances for a change and that felt good. I was looking forward to a few fall clothing purchases I'd been planning on. I happily bought a few shirts and everything was fine until I bought the Ugg boots. Suddenly all of my money anxiety came rushing back to me full force and I began to feel that I shouldn't buy anything at all for myself for the rest of the entire year. What made me think I could buy a pair of $140 Ugg's when I have car registration due ($300!!), an out out state trip planned, a special anniversary outing to plan and Christmas around the corner? It hits me that the only reason I've been feeling ok about money lately is only because I really haven't been spending any. Aside from the necessities like gas and groceries and food out here and there I really haven't spent too much money on myself in a while.

It's not like I buy a lot of things for myself. I don't have the most expensive taste. Well, except for my jeans which I feel are a must after years and years of wearing cheapos!! But, I know when to stop. I have my core set of designer denim that look and feel great so I won't be buying anymore for well...ever. I have one exquisite expensive purse (that I never in a million years would have bought for myself); but that was courtesy of Mj (bless his heart!).

I actually got some off brand cheap Uggs last year and one of the boots actually stretched out around the leg. They didn't even make it one season. I am that person who will take a trip but not want to buy any souvenirs, partake in any activities that cost much money, or even eat at a nice restaurant while I am there. I am usually so thrilled just to be on the darn trip and I feel like I can't spend much more then what it's costing me to travel there. About 3 years ago when money was tighter then ever I actually forgot what it felt like to be in a mall. I stopped going because it was too hard to be there knowing I couldn't buy a single thing and if I needed any clothing item at all for any reason I was only allowed to go to Target, Walmart, or Old Navy. I couldn't even take joy in window shopping. I am okay with buying a top or a pair of shoes here and there but the minute I exceed what is comfortable for me I freak out. Is this what I have to go through every time I want something special just for me that costs more then $100 dollars?

Well, it's pretty ridiculous. I've been saving money since I was 16 years old and I have never had credit card debt beyond what I could reasonably pay off one purchase at a time. I use a credit card for monthly expenses to get a cash back bonus but its within my budget so I can pay it off monthly. I have always done the right thing when it comes to money and finances-it just came naturally to me. So, why can't I indulge every now and then? Part of my rationale for not wanting to is that my fiscal discipline is what got me where I am in the first place and I don't want to mess it up. I am also of the belief that you can't have everything you want. If there is something I want that I don't feel I can reasonably justify on my income then I can't have it. Plain and simple. I may not like it but I can live with it because that's just how it goes. I already feel like I don't save enough although I do what I can, so that reason alone is why I shouldn't be out spending money on expensive items and outings.

I work hard. I save. I am responsible with my money. I know deep down that I deserve the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my labor every now and then but there is always that voice in my head saying "YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!"

So, I am working on allowing myself to live and enjoy things because I do realize that a lifetime of denying myself this and that just because I'm not rich is really not what I want for myself. I will never be a shopaholic. There is only so much money available in my budget for that, but I shouldn't feel bad for using it, within my means. The tears weren't really about the Uggs. I love those cozy boots and I don't regret buying them. What upset me is the anxiety that I so often feel just from buying something that should make me happy.

I still have money coming to me for those two model gigs I did back August. I WILL get those fall items I've been looking forward to and I WILL enjoy it.

Have You Seen My Bread?

Have you seen my bread?

Don't you hate it when stores suddenly, inexplicably, and without warning stop carrying a product or brand that you have grown accustomed to. They put it in the store, they make you love it, then they take it away! How cruel.

I am a carb fiend and sliced bread is very important to me due to my morning PBJ habit. I loved the Delightful Sara Lee bread because it has a decent whole grain and fiber content all for only 45 cal's a slice. What I don't love is the price. I was buying it for a while regardless, but when it got up to $3.99 (although I can get it for a little less at Walmart-if I am in the mood to deal with that madness) it became ridiculous and so I needed to find another option. Enter Nature's Own wheat bread. It showed up right on time smack dab in the middle of my bread dilemma. Only $2.19 with similar nutritional values as Sara Lee for only 5 calories more. It even had a few more slices per loaf. I found it at my usual grocery store and I could even get it at Walmart if I happened to be doing some shopping there. Problem solved!

Until I was at Walmart a couple of weeks ago and they didn't have it. "Darn it, now I have to stop by the grocery store too." And to my dismay, they didn't have it either. So, there I am still searching the bread aisle as if it will somehow magically appear out of thin air just because I want it to. When that doesn't happen I start examining each and every brand to find an alternative because I refuse to pay Sara Lee prices. I eventually settle on Orowheat "Soft Family." Yep, that's what it's called and the bread certainly lives up to that name. At 65 cal's per slice is the lowest I could find and it has a reasonable fiber content. The price isn't as good as Nature's Own but it will have to do. I supposed I could try other grocery stores but grocery shopping is such a huge inconvenience to me even when it's close so I am not about to go out of my way to other stores even for my coveted bread. You can bet that every time I go to the store I will be looking for it in case it makes a comeback though.

Am I being cheap? Maybe, but I have always been big on bargain shopping and coupon clipping not only in the grocery stores but in the shopping malls too. Am I obsessing too much over the calorie count of my bread? Probably!! As far as I'm concerned on both fronts it all adds up and every little bit counts.

High Cost Degree Can Be A Gamble

There is a story that circulated the Internet last week about a Bronx girl who sues Monroe College, NY for $70,000 tuition reimbursement because she can't get a job in the IT field as she was led to believe she would. I think this girl is ridiculous as most seem to agree. You go to college and you put out the money to do so with hopes that it will lead to a good job and higher earning potential but that is not always the case. Neither the college or anyone else can guarantee it. You weigh your options and you decide just how much money you are willing to invest in the possibility of that correlation being true and you hope for the best. I was conservative and I am so glad that I was.

I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do so I wasn't about to spend excessive amounts of money on College if I didn't have too. My 4 year degree in Sociology cost me about 16k in loans which have since been paid back and will not prevent me from buying a house or ruin my credit. I got into USC. I liked the idea of the ultimate College experience but I didn't like the price tag. I went close to home to an excellent state funded school and cut costs by living in an on campus apartment instead of dorms then commuting the last 1 1/2 years. I took advantage of a semester exchange program where I attended Spelman College in Atlanta GA. I had an amazing "going away to college" and private school experience and didn't have to pay their prices. That one semester away was much richer and way more memorable then all of the other years put together. I will truly treasure that experience forever. I may have missed out on some things by being practical but I got what I went there for-my degree. I worked too, and didn't use my loans to pay rent and subsidize my lifestyle as so many do. I am currently in a job where I don't use that degree and I make less then many people who have not earned a college degree yet. Although it has been helpful in my job endeavors the cost would not have been worth the benefit if I'd spent 70k. A degree was a goal I wanted to accomplish so no matter what, I'm glad I did it. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer you know it costs but you also know that you will make an extremely high income once hired and that there is always a need for those professions. I am not sure exactly how much difference it makes to get a Liberal Arts degree from Harvard or a no name besides the price tag. Perhaps it is advantageous because it's such a prestigious school. Again, it's a gamble.

A particular school just might have a great program and/or prestige that could open doors in the field that one wants to pursue or it could simply be a goal to go to that kind of school. I am not knocking anyone who shells out the big bucks to pursue a degree. I just think that when you do that you should be aware of the possibility of not gaining on that return and don't blame others if you don't.

Read Article about Trina Thompson suing Monroe College.