I Am Not My Own Boss

Do you ever get really, really annoyed with work for stealing your fun, and preventing you from doing things that you want to do?  When I'm really tired, waking up in the morning for work is the worst.  Who wants to sit in an office all day when the sun is shining and there are so many other alternative activities in this world?

That was me last week.  Slightly bitter because my husband was home for a limited time only.  It was a surprise vist so I had no extra days off planned, and had just taken quite a few days off two weeks prior when he was here.  It sucked getting out of bed when he was still in it, and sitting at work when he was sitting at home.  I rushed home every day so anxious to spend what was left of the day with him.  We didn't do much, because even though he was on vacation, I was in work mode.  I was tired (although so was he from jet lag) and had to be up early, so we ate dinner and watched TV.  Not super exciting, but time together is time together and I was glad to have it.

It's times like this when I wish I was one of those multi-level millionaires that work from home and poolside locations throughout the world.  Surely you've seen their pics and gushing testimony all over social media about how awesome their life is.  How they make so much money that they retired their husbands out of the workforce.  How they can work from anywhere as long as they have a laptop and wi-fi.  How they don't have to ask their boss for time off, and no longer hate Monday's.  They seem to be on cruises a lot. 

Be your own boss.  Be home with your kids.  Take vacation when you want.  Drink wine in front of a fireplace on Tuesday afternoon.  But isn't that sales?  Oh no, you don't have to sell anything.  It's so easy!  Working 9-5 is unnecessary. 

Guys.  I don't get it.  If I don't have to sell anything then how do I make money to support myself?  Multi-level marketing is all about sales, but I have been approached by people who claim to be making a lot of money and claim that you don't have to sell anything.  If your income depends upon a product that you actively promote it is sales.  Even if the product is so good it sells itself, it's sales.  Let's just say it's true and you don't have to sell a specific product or a specific thing, you are most certainly selling something.  You are selling the program, and you are also selling yourself in a way.  That's how you get people to sign up...so you can make money off of them...and then you motivate those people so they will get other people to sign up...so you can make money off of them. 

I don't doubt that there are people making a ton of money selling wraps, essential oils, fitness products or cosmetics, but I have this feeling that they are the exception not the rule, and that there are just enough of them to make people think it's easy to have that same success.  I also don't doubt that there are a lot of people stretching the truth and probably don't like it as much as they claim or don't make full time living off of it as they imply, because if it was truly that easy, and that lucrative why isn't everyone doing it?  Why hasn't everyone quit their jobs, signed up to sell whatever it is they like, and found themselves rolling in the dough on a permanent vacation?  Also, if everyone did it, who would do everything else?  From what I understand, we actually need people working in offices, retail shops, hospitals, airports, and all the other places that are integral to society.

This Guy.  Heart face emoji

So yeah, last week I was a little bit bitter about having to go to work.  It happens to the best of us, I'm sure.  Why can't I be that girl I follow on Instagram posting about how she sold enough wraps to buy a house and gets a six month vacation twice a year?  Then I thought about how I probably couldn't sell ice-water in hell.  Not only do I suck at sales or promoting, I don't like it.  I don't even like pimping out my own blog.  I do it sometimes, and  there's nothing wrong with it, but it usually makes me uncomfortable.  I'm also pretty risk adverse.  I like the idea of knowing that I'll get a paycheck every month.  It may not be #girlboss #instagramgoals but I also like generous paid time off, my retirement plan, and paying $0 dollars for a zero co-pay no deductible health insurance plan.  My job is solid.

Earning money online as your sole source of income isn't for everyone.  This blogger could write one million posts about how she made $100,000 in a month online.  Not in a year a single MONTH, but I still wouldn't be able to figure out how to do it!  My mind is literally blown by how successful she has become through blogging.  This girl is legit, and she doesn't brag about it, she informs. 

Burgers Again!!

 Plenty of people find another way, but that isn't my path.

My job limits the amount of vacations I can take, and the days I can stay home, but I also wouldn't be taking vacation if I didn't have it.  I wouldn't be doing a lot of things if I didn't have it.  I might not even own a home if I didn't have it.  We love to travel, and thanks to my job, not necessarily in spite of my job (because that's the better way to look at it), I have managed to take some pretty fantastic vacations.  Over Thanksgiving I got to spend a nice chunk of time with my long distance husband.  Last week I got to spend a wonderful long weekend with family.  It may not be as much as I want.  It never is!  But that's life.  Some things you can and/or are willing to change, others you can't and/or won't.  You maximize what you have, make it work, and even if it isn't ideal, you have to move past the bitter and be glad for the good things you got.  You really just have to.     

I had to make do with less time with MJ than I wanted last week, I live for the weekends, I hate Monday's, and the only thing I get to choose about my schedule is what time I take my lunch break, but that's okay. We saw Beauty and the Beast together at the "fancy" theater The Lot, and spent too much money on overpriced drinks downtown at Searsucker just because. That place is kinda pricey, and we could have stayed there and eaten if we wanted to, but chose to get sloppy burgers at Cold Beers & Cheeseburgers instead. Yes, that's the name. I still got to do fun things with my husband. I'm not a #Girl Boss #Boss Babe, I am not my own boss at all.  I have a boss, who I had ask for an extended time off this summer.  The answer to that question was yes, and for all of that...and all of the good things in my life...I am grateful.      

Working for the Weekend

My alarm went off at 6:22am like it always does on a work day. You might be wondering why not a round number like 6:15 or 6:25. I honestly can't tell you. Somehow it ended up at 6:22am and I just left it that way.  And through a tired haze I thought to myself.  Can I really do this every day for the next 20 years?  At what point do you snap?  I hit snooze.  I scrolled through my Twitter, Instagram and Facebook feeds.  It helps me wake up so I can get out of bed when snooze time runs out.  There it goes again.  Sigh.  Check the weather app.  Drag myself out of bed.  Get dressed, grab snacks, drive to work and stay there for 9 hours.  Summer is particularly brutal.  A lot of people are taking time off.  The empty office makes it feel like nobody is working but me.  Summer vacation ceased to exist a long time ago but every now and then I can't help but wish I could get it back.  Work, work, work.  Come home, work out, eat dinner, watch a few TV shows and relax for the next 2-3 hours left of my night.  Lather, rinse, repeat for five days until Friday rolls around and I have two days; 48 whole hours to myself in which to fit in fun and anything else that needs to get done.

It's kind of weird concept to think that the very roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food that I eat depends on me going to a building every day where I sit at a desk and do various tasks.  If I don't go, they don't pay me and if they don't pay me I have nothing.  The very thing that prevents me from doing so many things that I would much rather do is also the same thing that allows me to do and have anything at all.

But that's life and they don't call it work for nothing.  I am one of millions and millions of people working for the weekend every day.  Hell, some don't even get the weekend and some don't even have jobs and desperately want them so I should consider myself lucky.  And I do.  Even though my tone is grim I do realize how lucky I am to have this place I can go to every day in exchange for a paycheck and the health benefits that go along with it.  I'm lucky to have the health and well being to get up and go.  And thank goodness for all of the wonderful things in my life that I love that help break up the monotony of the 9-5.  I really enjoy my weekends off spending time with friends and family or doing not much of anything at all.  We always try to have some kind of travel plans on the horizon to look forward to.

So, the question remains.  Can I get up every day and do this for the next 20 years?  And as depressing as it sounds the answer is yes.  There really isn't any other choice in the matter.  If doing this every day keep our bills paid, helps get us the things that we need and allows us to do things we want then that's what I'll have to do.  I will not always love it.  Who am I kidding.  Most of the time I won't.  Counting the hours until I can go home is more like it.  I don't hate my job.  I'm just not all that thrilled that I HAVE to go there every day.  There will be many times when I'm jealous as hell of other people that don't have to do this.  I will have more day dreams then I can keep track of about a life that doesn't include the daily grind.  Fantasies about striking it rich.  Early retirement. About turning my passion into my career or becoming a full time world traveler.  I don't know what the future holds.  Who knows.  It could happen.  In the meantime I'm tired and I gotta get to bed so I can get up and go to work tomorrow.  One day down, four to go.....

Lady of Leisure



The Good Life.  [Photo Source Here]

As I drove to work this rainy Monday morning I thought to myself, "Why oh why didn't you just put in for vacation days so you could stay in bed?"  I tend to hoard my vacation hours and we get so much time off this time of year anyways that going to work on Monday and Tuesday didn't seem so bad.  I was fine with it...until I got there.   Well, I've just about made it.  I've got one more day of work and when the clock strikes 5pm tomorrow my Christmas Break is officially on.  I don't have to go back to work until NEXT YEAR on January 3rd so that's 12 days of freedom.  No vacation days required.  My job shuts down for the holidays.  So much so that they have to give us our monthly paycheck for December two weeks early because there isn't anyone working to process payroll.  Last year we traveled to Delaware between Christmas and New Year's Eve but this time every last day is mine to do with whatever I want right here at home.  Which more then likely won't be all that much and that is fine with me.  Whenever I get time off like this that's more then a long weekend where I'm not on vacation and I'm just home I refer to myself as a Lady of Leisure.  It's silly I know, but it's fun to think of myself that way even if it's only temporary. 

A Lady of Leisure doesn't have to go to work.  She gets to spend her days going about her day to day life without a pesky 9-5 getting in the way.  Her time is really hers and she doesn't have to ask permission or put in a request to do anything.  She gets up when she wants to and can go to bed late without worry.  Her entire day is her own every day and not condensed into 4 1/2 hour increments before bedtime during the weekdays into which everything must be crammed.  She can reasonably make time to cook.  It may not be her "thing" but she's not too tired to get in the kitchen and do it.  She has time to go to the grocery store to pick up extra ingredients and doesn't have to rush home and into the kitchen at 5:30-5:45pm to try to get dinner done by 7pm.  Weekends are never a blur of cleaning, laundry and errands.  A well organized Lady of Leisure can spread all of that throughout the week at her leisure and never really feels too overwhelmed by the crush of backed up chores.  She doesn't have to wait until the weekend to go to her preferred car wash that shuts down at 5pm during the week.  When the car is dirty she goes...and even better she beats the weekend crowd.  A lady of leisure is usually available for all doctor, car, home delivery and home maintenance appointments.  She doesn't have to schedule an appointment to fix the shower door a month ahead for when her next weekday off day rolls around.  If some kind of unexpected errands or a medical issue pops up taking care of them is not a juggling act nor does it require a permission slip.  She does not wait for a 4pm dentist appointment opening and rush from work to make it in time.  Those appointments, like everything else are scheduled at her leisure.   Exercise is not some annoying activity that she has a hard time comfortably fitting into her schedule.  It does not encroach upon her precious free time to the point where she avoids it all together and it's actually an enjoyable part of her life.  Without a one hour time crunch to get back to work she can leisurely meet friends for brunch or lunch.  Happy hour is lovely and all but it's nice to change it up a bit.  If a friend or family member is in town or there is some spur of the moment activity she wants to partake in it's no problem.  On a weeknight?  Ok.  She will probably be there.  She has time for hobbies and/or classes.  A more flexible schedule allows for greater options and without 40 hours spent at work she actually has the energy for it too.  And just think of all the books she can read!

Might a Lady of Leisure become bored or listless after an extended period of time without work?  Perhaps.  But if her life of leisure becomes unsavory she can always go back to the working woman life.  There is a huge difference between HAVING to work and DECIDING to.  I could go on and on really about the wonders of not having to work for a living.  I haven't even mentioned the opportunity for travel.  The simple day to day things alone make the Lady of Leisure lifestyle an absolutely wonderful prospect.  But where does said Lady of Leisure get her paycheck?  Unless she is independently wealthy, retired or something else in between this lifestyle will not be possible for any extended period of time.  For this unfortunate reason, after 12 days it ends for me and I will be headed back to work.  Nope, I'm technically not a permanent and true Lady of Leisure but it's certainly going to be fun pretending.

Lady

We Don't Have to Commute

It's a darn good thing the fate of where we intend to buy a house and live for the next chunk of our lives didn't depend on me getting a new job. If it did I am not exactly sure how that would have turned out. But it just so happens the burden of such a task rested on Mj who thus far has never had any problem landing awesome jobs. He did it again. My little hot shot found a new job and just in the nick of time. Just when we really needed to figure out the work situation so that we could begin some serious house hunting.

The job he left when he went overseas for Eleven months is about 158 miles away. That is about a two hour and 10 minute commute without traffic. Which of course would never happen so it would probably take close to 3 hours. Impossible!! Crazy. I mean, how many years of your life will a commute like that take away? Not to mention the money spent on gas. We couldn't move way up there because the cost of living is way too high and then of course I would have to find another job. So, to compensate our original plan was to move about 45 miles North which would then mean we were both commuting although mine would not have been as far. We would have been closer to my family but further from both our friends and my work. We really love being where we are right now and it was a bummer to think we'd have to leave. We did NOT want to do that but there weren't really too many other options until Mj ran out and got himself another job.

We will both be working in the same area now. Close enough that we could even meet for lunch or carpool if we wanted to.

I was so excited and proud of him when he called me with the news yesterday. It pretty much solved all of our immediate problems and is allowing us to take the next step in house hunting. Turns out his company actually eliminated his position while he was gone. Worst case scenario he would have collected unemployment and job searched or taken this other independent contractor position he was offered. But the bottom line is no job, no mortgage loan, no house and now we don't have to worry about that. Win-win because provided the company doesn't find another position for him by Tuesday not only have they been paying him the whole time he's been gone but now they will have to pay a severance which is just fine because he already found a closer job.

To celebrate last night, I brought home Strawberries with Dolce Frutti chocolate sauce and champagne. The chocolate hardens as it sits so you can make your own Chocolate covered strawberries. We ate as we dipped them but you have to be careful because the chocolate gets too hard to dip. Next time we'll dip them all then eat.

He says the whole situation was stressing him out a bit. Not that I could even tell the cool cucumber that he is. Him stressing looks no different then usual while I am prone to mini breakdowns.  I so needed someone like him to balance me out.

While we jumped right into wedding planning when he came home we had to wait on the house hunting until this job thing was sorted out. We are getting that much closer to getting out of this tiny studio and Mj being able to get all of his things out of storage. In fact, we just got back from the home loan office not too long ago.

Everything seems to be falling into place. Exactly where we want it to be.

High Cost Degree Can Be A Gamble

There is a story that circulated the Internet last week about a Bronx girl who sues Monroe College, NY for $70,000 tuition reimbursement because she can't get a job in the IT field as she was led to believe she would. I think this girl is ridiculous as most seem to agree. You go to college and you put out the money to do so with hopes that it will lead to a good job and higher earning potential but that is not always the case. Neither the college or anyone else can guarantee it. You weigh your options and you decide just how much money you are willing to invest in the possibility of that correlation being true and you hope for the best. I was conservative and I am so glad that I was.

I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do so I wasn't about to spend excessive amounts of money on College if I didn't have too. My 4 year degree in Sociology cost me about 16k in loans which have since been paid back and will not prevent me from buying a house or ruin my credit. I got into USC. I liked the idea of the ultimate College experience but I didn't like the price tag. I went close to home to an excellent state funded school and cut costs by living in an on campus apartment instead of dorms then commuting the last 1 1/2 years. I took advantage of a semester exchange program where I attended Spelman College in Atlanta GA. I had an amazing "going away to college" and private school experience and didn't have to pay their prices. That one semester away was much richer and way more memorable then all of the other years put together. I will truly treasure that experience forever. I may have missed out on some things by being practical but I got what I went there for-my degree. I worked too, and didn't use my loans to pay rent and subsidize my lifestyle as so many do. I am currently in a job where I don't use that degree and I make less then many people who have not earned a college degree yet. Although it has been helpful in my job endeavors the cost would not have been worth the benefit if I'd spent 70k. A degree was a goal I wanted to accomplish so no matter what, I'm glad I did it. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer you know it costs but you also know that you will make an extremely high income once hired and that there is always a need for those professions. I am not sure exactly how much difference it makes to get a Liberal Arts degree from Harvard or a no name besides the price tag. Perhaps it is advantageous because it's such a prestigious school. Again, it's a gamble.

A particular school just might have a great program and/or prestige that could open doors in the field that one wants to pursue or it could simply be a goal to go to that kind of school. I am not knocking anyone who shells out the big bucks to pursue a degree. I just think that when you do that you should be aware of the possibility of not gaining on that return and don't blame others if you don't.

Read Article about Trina Thompson suing Monroe College.