Eighty-Three to Sixty-Three

When we stepped off that tiny commuter plane at 8 something in the morning it was so cold outside I could see my breath.  I slept for most of the plane ride but sitting up sleep is almost as good as no sleep at all.  I was so exhausted I was starting to feel sick. When we got home the thermostat in our house said 53.  Everything I touched was cold.  Even the carpets were cold and I could feel the chill of it right through my socks.  I always unpack the minute I get home no matter how tired I am.  I pulled stuff out of my suitcases fighting the urge to crumple into a heap on the floor.   I was too tired to eat, so after a long hot shower I went straight to bed.  I woke up three hours later feeling like a semi functional human being.  I've eaten, but I can already feel myself crashing again.  My husband is some kind of machine.  He's STILL up with no sleep, no food and just got back from the grocery store.  I don't know how he does it.

For eight magnificent days I spent more time in a bikini then not and our only agenda was fun in the sun.  We went from 83 degrees to 63 degrees and just like that your vacation is over.  Let the post vacation blues begin.  The good news is that Christmas Break is right around the corner and we are already planning our next vacation.  And it could be worse.  I could be coming home to arctic Alaska or the icy Midwest.  We had a bet going to see who could go the longest without turning on the heat.  My toes were going numb and my fingers were ice cold.   I was extremely close to breaking but he beat me to it on our first day back.  Now he owes me lunch.

It's so weird how real life marches on even when you step out of it for a while.  Work was a distant memory but I knew my co workers were still plugging away.  People were getting iced in and San Diego was hit by a cold front but all I felt was warm sand between my toes and the balmy ocean breeze.  Christmas trees went up while we were swimming in waterfalls. Bloggers churned out posts day after day.  So many posts!  I hit mark all as read while my blog sat silent.  I'm sure page views dropped but I was too busy with not being busy to care.  Social media never stops and Twitter is just too overwhelming.  I couldn't bring myself to look at that one unless I happened to see a notification.  I browsed Instagram, Facebook, posted some pics/tweets and read a few blogs here and there but felt really detached from it all in a really good way.  It felt selfish not replying to comments and not commenting on other blogs especially around Thanksgiving but making my flight and being on vacation was my priority.  Living life not attending to it is what I wanted and needed.

Our vacation was perfect.  We had our own little tropical island bubble of bliss.  I was there and we were in it together.  I have the tan lines, mosquito bites and about 500 pictures to prove it.  As I sit here bundled up in my flannel jammies and granny robe it almost seams surreal.   Our house is here just as we left it and back to work starts tomorrow.  I'm not ready! While we were away vacation eating and relaxing with our upturned faces smiling into the sun real life was waiting to snatch us back.

Time to hang up the bikini.  I hope my real life clothes still fit.

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A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

I have never in my entire life been to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner.  I always had this idea that restaurants on holidays were for sad lonely people without family and no where to go.

My parents went to San Francisco to see my little sister. My older sister moved back to N. Carolina. The friend that invites everybody over for everything moved too.  Mj and I were on our own this year so we made dinner reservations.  The people there didn't look too sad and lonely and we weren't either.  We had each other.

I was actually pretty excited about it.  I've always wanted to see what it was like.  Dinner would be at 4:30pm and Thanksgiving would not be an all day affair of grazing on foods and drinking wine.  Not that I don't enjoy that.  I enjoy it way too much.  That's the problem.  I overeat when there is food staring me in the face all day long.  We showed up, got seated and then went off to have our fill of the Thanksgiving buffet.  We each got one glass of champagne that came with dinner.   We went back for seconds and dessert, enjoyed a good meal and were on our way home by 6pm for more relaxing.  It was perfect.  The only mishap had to do with Yams.  Amidst the throngs of people lined up in the food area someone dropped yams and I happened to be right there.  I noticed the sticky globs on my Tom's wedge booties when I got home.  I LOVE these shoes so that kind of sucked but my cleaning solution took care of it.  I don't even like yams.

If I had to pick one way every year forever it would be to spend Thanksgiving with family.  It's what I've always done and I'm very grateful for that.  It didn't work out that way this year but it was nice to do something different.  I didn't hate it. 

I'm not into Black Friday at all.  I've never done it. I'm not trying to get up at the crack of dawn to spend money I shouldn't be spending on things I don't need on my precious day off.  MAYBE and that's a big maybe, if there was something specific I wanted. Instead, we did something we haven't done in a long long time.  We cuddled up in bed until about 11:00am dozing off and chatting.  It was way better then Black Friday as far as I'm concerned.   I'm not shopping right now so I did my best to ignore all the 50% online sales.  I did however score a free digital issue of Self and Allure magazine for my my i pad.  It's something.

The only thing I did that day was a mani/pedi.  With a name like this I was expected to be handed a glass of champagne when I walked in.   Nobody else had cocktails but maybe they didn't want one.  I picked out my color, sat down and waited for someone to come take my order.   Turns out there were no cocktails to be had.  But can you really blame me for thinking otherwise? That name is totally misleading.

I've been checking Maui weather obsessively.  Things can be really iffy in December with rain but it's looking good for us so far and I'm hoping it stays that way.

The packing started on Thursday and didn't end until Saturday.  It makes me sad to see the sheer volume of stuff I need when I go on vacation.  I have one small suitcase dedicated to hair products, toiletries and shoes.  I'm a chronic over packer.  My packing anxiety has improved a lot.  It kind of had to with all the traveling I've been doing or else I'd drive myself crazy.  Mj checked on my round trip ticket that wasn't.  I used frequent flyer miles to pay for my trip there.  Mj used his points to pay for my return flight; or so we thought.  Apparently the price went up before the booking was confirmed so they cancelled my return flight without us even realizing it and didn't even give him his points back.  Crisis averted.  I got the very last seat available for the return flight so it looks like I won't be stuck in Maui.  Although, when I think about it I kind of wish I was.  I mean, Maui!!!  I'm not ever going to want to come home.

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Thanksgiving Thoughts

The Christmas commercials and holiday music have slowly creeped their way onto the scene for the last few weeks.  I saw a house with lights up last night.  I was among the camp that hated the jump from Halloween to Christmas but then I stopped to think about it and realized I was mostly hating it because other people were.  I love this time of year.  I really love holiday music and lights.  There is only a very short time frame to enjoy them so I have decided that I don't really care if it encroaches upon Thanksgiving.  If Thanksgiving had music I'm sure they'd play it but they don't.  Christmas doesn't stress me out so why should the music and decorations? Even if it's early.  It's usually just a huge jolting reminder of how crazy fast the year has gone by.

We're sending holiday cards this year for the first time ever.  I will be ordering them from  Tiny Prints the minute we get back from our vacation and using what I hope will be a great vacation shot from Maui.  They have so many adorable selections to choose from and as indecisive as I am I think I already know which one I'm going to use.  Right now they are have a Thanksgiving sale offering 25% off every order OR free shipping with promo codes.

We probably go through Peanut Butter faster then a family of 5 with 3 kids.  We are both kind of addicted to Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and Peanut Butter toast.  We've been eating PBJ's for dinner several nights a week and Peanut Butter toast for a snack or for breakfast.  Mj uses a massive quantity for his.  I'm not sure what we'll be eating for the rest of the week.  I certainly don't plan on grocery shopping or cooking.  I'm already in vacation/holiday mode which means no manual labor of the cooking variety.

Date night at a really cute and tasty restaurant called Kitchen 4141.  Yes, I ate that whole burger and half of dessert

Our anniversary was yesterday on a Tuesday where I spent the day at work then went to the gym and didn't get home until after 7:00pm.  We did go to dinner on Saturday night.  Does that count? After I took my shower I kissed him and said Happy Anniversary.  We don't celebrate anniversaries really and I'm okay with that.  Just being with him every day feels like a celebration and as corny as that sounds it's the truth!   There will be plenty of celebration next week in Maui. 

My bills for the month are paid and it feels nice to have a clean slate so to speak.  I get paid once a month and with the holidays and a bank that always deposits the money a day early my paycheck showed up yesterday.  Most of my bills are done automatically but I paid the few that aren't and wiped out the little credit card balances that were hanging around on different cards.  Now I can start racking it up again with Vacation and Christmas expenses. To be paid off in January of course.

I'm usually among the last man standing at work before holidays. The upside is that it's a chill day and there is no traffic.  As much as I want to be done with work a few days earlier I'm also a hoarder of vacation days so if I'm not going anywhere I'm going to work.  And there I sit dreaming of Thanksgiving break with the few other people who decided to show up.  No work for 12 solid days. I'm almost there!

I am thankful for so many things this year.  First of all, my health.  Without that I'd literally have nothing.  I'm also thankful for all of this traveling I've been able to do over the last three years.  I never imagined I would go to all the places I have and I'm looking forward to more.  I'm thankful for a stable job in what has been a very unstable economy.  I am so thankful for our home.  It may not that dream home with all the bells and whistles that I'd have if money were no option but it's ours, we can afford our mortgage every month and it has everything we need.  When I walk in after a long day of work I'm happy to be there and I feel lucky to call it home.  I'm thankful that my parents and sisters are doing well and I'm thankful for my wonderful husband.  I still get excited to see him every day and I'm so grateful for the amazing relationship we have.

I'm also thankful that it didn't take me hours to write this blog post.  Sometimes I obsess and over think it way too much to the point of the post remaining a draft.  I'm trying to work on letting my thoughts flow, cleaning it up a bit and then hitting publish already!!

That about wraps it up.  Happy Thanksgiving!!

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Writing a Novel

Writing a novel is really hard. It's not that I thought it would be easy. It's just that when you hear about every celebrity and their mother coming out with a book it makes it seem like something you just do but there is a lot more to it then that. I don't have a ghost writer and it's fiction. It's a total manifestation of my imagination. I have to make every single thing that occurs in this book come alive. Nothing happens unless I write it. Every word, every action, every character. Every detail. You labor over it. You get stumped and sometimes you can't even bear to look at what you've written anymore. Sometimes you have to take a break and then look at it again with a fresh brain. I knew it would take me a long time to do this. Technically, two years and counting so far. I can only wonder if next year will be the year it's done.

I started writing in September of 2009 and got up to 6,800 words and 27 pages before quitting. I got serious about it again and in January 2012 I had 10,131 words, 42 pages and a goal of writing 15 pages a month for the entire year. I did that and by the end of that year I had 45,104 words, 188 pages. 

2013 year progress:

Jan:   52,267, page 218
Feb:  54,224, page 226
Mar:  58,540, page 245
Apr:   62,697, page 262
May:  65,790, page 276
Jun:   68,928, page 289
Jul:    76,750, page 322
Aug:  79,539, page 334
Sept:  81,623, page 343
Oct: 0
Nov: 86,430, page 364

There are times when I read back and am thrilled with what I've done and other times where I feel like it has to be the worst thing ever written. Aside from Fifty Shades of Grey.  That book was so terrible that it actually made me believe that I could do it.  ut even when I worry that it's horrible I keep going even as I wonder what the point of the whole thing is.  ou put all of this time, energy and effort into this and for what?  It could be a piece of crap when all is said and done.  It might not be but that's the thing. You really never know, especially if you are like me and won't let anyone read it.

I started writing with a basic idea and no outline. I wrote and wrote and wrote just hoping that I could get to 60,000 words which is considered novel length. I got there and that felt like a huge accomplishment but I still had so far to go with my story. I got to a point where I couldn't write anymore because I had no idea where it was going so I had to take a break in October. I was already at 80,000 words so I felt okay about not focusing on word count anymore. It's actually getting kind of long and I need to start wrapping things up. I set time aside to just jot things down and think about what I wanted to happen.  I thought about my main character and what kind of story I wanted to tell. I ended up with a rough outline and then started writing again. It really helps to know the ending before I get there. Now I have some direction and I've been going back and editing certain things based on that. I think I might even have a title in mind now.

The only thing that saves me from quitting sometimes is that I know that no matter what, I just want to see this thing through. If my only goal were getting published and making money then I'd really feel like throwing in the towel on those days where I read it and feel like it's no good, but I don't care if no one ever reads it. I mean, I want it to be good of course but I really just want to finish it. I have no problem with spending hours and hour slaving over this thing even though I have no idea what will become of it because first and foremost I'm doing it for me. I just want to write and finish a novel. That is my only goal in mind at this point. When you are truly doing something for yourself you really can't lose. If anything did come of it that would just be a bonus.

The only thing harder then writing a novel is blogging daily. I failed miserably at that but I'm glad that I even sort of attempted it because now I know for certain what I already thought to be true. It's not for me! I just can't do it. I don't think it's necessary to be in your face every day, plus I just don't have that many ideas! I don't like publishing posts that I feel are kinda whatever slash crappy. I just don't feel good about doing that and that would happen a lot if I were trying to post every day. I'd rather do you a favor and spare you such drivel and myself a favor by not burning myself out on blogging. 

I've been a little shy about it but I've decided that I will publish an excerpt from my novel. I just have to decide which part.

More Apple Stuff

I don't read nearly as much as I used to.  Months ago Mj was showing me all these free books I could get on Amazon.  I found one I liked and then he didn't save it so he went searching for it and found it again.  I don't know what the point was.  I don't have a Kindle and chances are I wasn't going to go out and buy the book in the store.  I should have known that he would make sure I'd get to read that book.

I posted this pic on Instagram and got 17 likes. That's a lot of likes for me.  I normally don't get enough likes to group it together so that it says 17 likes.  You know what I mean?  I usually only have enough so that each one is listed individually.  Anyways.   I may not be very popular but Apple is.  They make stuff that people really like.  Yes, it's expensive.  Yes, they piss people off the way they dole out their new release functions piece by piece to induce customers to shell out money to upgrade to the next best thing.   They are innovative and they make quality products so people line up for everything they have to sell. 

I wasn't always an Apple person.  When Mj met me I had a broke down desk top PC on it's last legs and a $40 cell phone bill from T-Mobile.  I actually really liked that phone.  It was not a smart phone but it was my first cell phone with color on the screen and I liked the way it slid up and down to talk and access the keyboard.  My three years old desktop was slowing down on me and I was stressing out about the cost to renew my anti virus protection.  I renewed it that year but I didn't have to the next because Mj knocked my socks off and sent me a MacBook for my Birthday while he was deployed in Kosovo.  I still remember how exciting and revolutionary it felt to sit on my bed and compute at the same time.  I would have never bought a Mac.  They are too expensive and I am resistant to change.  With an Apple head for a  husband it definitely helped make the transition easier and I found using a Mac is actually pretty simple.

That year my slider phone stopped working and Mj found me a cheapo hot pink razor phone on e Bay to replace it.  Oh, how I despised that phone.  I hated it so much I smashed it to bits with a hammer when I got a new one.  You can see that here.  It was totally non functional and I can't believe how many people had been chomping at the bit to get it in their hot little hands when they first came out.  Why?  It was the worst phone ever.  People used to laugh because Mj had an i phone and I had a crap phone.  That year he surprised me with an iPhone for Christmas.  I said good bye to my crappy razor phone, hello to the smart phone world of Apple and never looked back.  It's the only kind I've ever owned since and it's been perfect for me.

I'm cheap frugal, especially when it comes to technology.  I'm just not willing to spend a lot of money on things I barely understand how to operate anyways.  I'd rather shop.  I probably would have never invested in a Mac and it would have taken me a lot longer to give up that cheap cell phone bill and finally get a smart phone.  I was just thinking that every Apple thing I've ever owned came from Mj and then I remembered my iPod.  That was my first Apple purchase.  Figures it's the one thing I don't use anymore.

Me, with an iPad mini?  It sure is cute but, I don't NEED an iPad.  And that's where Mj comes in.  He's so thoughtful about making sure I have what I need and want even if I won't do it for myself.  He has one and he wanted me to have one too.  He decided to make it an early Christmas present so I can use it when we go on vacation after Thanksgiving.  The day he decides to bring it home just so happens to be the one fluke of a day I got off early and beat him home so it kind of threw off his plans to have it all set up for me.

I love this man to pieces and I am thankful for him every day of my life.  Not just when he's buying me stuff from Apple. 

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