Our Water is Cold

I love my state and I love my city. It's beautiful.  Every year people come from all over to vacation here and I consider myself lucky to be able to call it home.  There are so many things to see and do here.  Sometimes I forget that when I'm hoarding time off from work to use for getting myself out of town.  We had family here, so I released my death grip on two vacation days and we had ourselves a staycation. 

View of the San Diego Skyline from Coronado

Our first outing was the San Diego Zoo and then we spent two nights on Coronado Island.  MJ caught this amazing pic on night #1.   The moon was brighter then I've ever seen it.

We could not have asked for better beach weather.  It warmed up every single day until it got into the 100's by the coast just in time for our beach day.  I like my beach days hot because no matter how warm it gets Southern California water stays cold.  I usually barely dip my feet in but since it was so hot I wanted to do more then that.  The first 5 minutes or so is kind of painful as your feet gets used to the ice cold water.  The first time it hits your girly parts is a shock too but after that it feels really good to be out there.  I had a lot of fun splashing in the waves until my feet went numb.  It started to feel like I was walking on stumps so I had to get out for a while and then went back in.

MJ, his mom and cousin Rai had a lot of fun body boarding.  This is totally out of the question for me since I can't swim but they had a good old time disappearing under the waves.

You can't spend all day at the beach without some sort of shade.  At least I can't.  Baking in the sun like a rotisserie chicken for hours on end is not my style.  Shade AND sun screen is a must.  We were able to stay out there way longer then we would have without it.  

MJ's cousin Rai and her little boy

MJ and his nephew

We spent most of the day at the beach then transitioned to the pool for a few hours which is really the best way to do it.  Sand is a beast.  It gets EVERYWHERE and there is no escaping it!!  After dealing with sand all day the pool feels so fresh and clean.  We rinsed off and enjoyed more water fun before heading back to the beach house. 

Me getting dumped on

This water feature was so much fun.  You can't see it in the picture but there are about 6 buckets at the top that swing back and forth as they fill up with water that squirts into each one.  Once they fill up they randomly tip over dumping a bucket load of water on your head.  I have a hard time easing myself into pool water.  It's always too cold for me so I forced myself to get dumped on there and then getting in was really easy.  I loved it at least as much as the kids did.  The little one couldn't get enough of splashing in the mini fountains that circled the edge.   

MJ and his mom

Santa Monica Pier

On Saturday we went to LA.  The main purpose was to go to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles but since we couldn't spend almost two hours driving there only to eat and turn around we stopped at the Santa Monica Pier first.  We walked around and MJ's nephew rode a few of the rides.  We had to lead him out of there crying because four rides is never enough.  Something tells me that 10 rides would not have been enough either.  
 
1.  Coronado Beach is my favorite beach.  The part we go to is only accessible via Naval Air Station North Island so there is very little traffic and way less people then you find at public access beaches. 
2.  The Beach Cottage was so cute with 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and a full kitchen.  There is the hotel and there are beach cottages.  You have to reserve a cottage at least 6 months in advance in order to get one because there aren't that many.  They are staggered so that everyone has a beach view.  This was another one of MJ's great ideas and I think we should make it a yearly thing.  
3.  Can I just stay here forever and never go back to work?  Pretty please. 
4.  We ordered pizza the first night and MJ grilled Carne Asada Tacos for dinner the 2nd night.  Perfectly paired with a pale ale beer he brought back from Germany.  Usually "his" beers are way too heavy for me but I liked this one.
5.  We stopped at In & Out for breakfast on the way home from Coronado.  When you are on vacation you can do things like that.  I haven't had In & Out since I was a kid.  It was on my not allowed to eat list (along with too many other things) for a long time.  I've been missing out.
6.  The iconic meal from Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles.  This is not my plate.  Trust me to go there and not order chicken and waffles but everyone else did.  People love the combo but I'm not sure it's my thing.  I ordered a chicken sandwich-which was one of the best I've ever had, with fries.    

I will say that the kids were a little bit much to handle for 10 days.  Sunday morning I came downstairs and the 3 year old was buzzing.  Literally buzzing.  Like bzzzzz, bzzzzzz, bzzzzzzz and he would not stop.  All I could think was make it stop!!  There was an obnoxious sounding cartoon on TV and I'm a little Tea Cup on repeat coming from a toy tablet.   It was an is this really my house twilight zone moment.  The upside is that I HAD to get out of the house so I went to the gym for the first time since January and burned 650 calories.  I can pretend that I would have gone anyways but I'm not so sure!  They want to come back again without the kids and I'm totally okay with that. 

I'm an introvert.  The prospect of having that much company all day every day was really overwhelming for me.  I like my routines and I have a general fear of having them interrupted.  I like to watch House Hunters while I eat breakfast.  I enjoy silence and need alone time to recharge.  Throw kids in the mix and I was more then a little freaked out.  I like my house clean and tidy.  Kids are anything but.  Of course I worried for nothing.  I mean, that's what I do; even when I know it's going to be okay.  Once they got here I was glad to see them.  It was a perfect excuse for a staycation which felt less like a staycation and more like a vacation.  We had such a nice time that drool on the couch from a teething baby is really just water under the bridge.  

Having house guests is kind of like the So Cal ocean.  Our water is cold but once I dip my toes in and go for it, I find that it's a lot more fun then I thought it would be when I was staring at it from a distance.

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I'm Not A Mother

Last weekend was full but fun. I found myself wide awake on Monday morning when it was time to get up for work (surprisingly) only to find myself crashing hard by 12pm. It's a short week for me.  I will survive.

The Zoo Crew

MJ's mom and cousin are in town and they brought the kids.  The #1 ranked Zoo in the United States is in our backyard.  MJ has never been, which makes no sense especially since military gets in free.  I haven't been in a million years myself so it was a perfect group outing for Saturday.  We loaded ourselves into the rented mini van and spent the day walking miles and miles all over the world famous San Diego Zoo.  The place is huge.  Just when you think you saw all the animals you wanted to see you realize you missed out on the Kangaroo's and the Rhinoceros's.  These animals are so interesting to look at.  I could probably stare at the Gorilla's for hours.  I love the slow rhythmic way they move.  Not quite upright but also not quite downright as they use their front knuckles to get where they are going.  Their faces are so serious and their eyes so intelligent.  What are they are thinking about-besides why the F are all these people staring at us and what do they want?  Giraffe's have the cutest faces.  They are like a horse gone wrong but not because their long legs and neck transform them in their own unique and beautiful way.  The Rhinoceros walked in circles and the Kangaroo's just laid there.  I was really excited to see pouches but these didn't have them.  MJ has seen ones taller then him roaming around in the motherland of Australia so he probably was not too impressed but they were still cool to see. 

The San Diego zoo is exhausting.  The San Diego Zoo with little ones is REALLY exhausting.  That day alone totally validated our decision not to have any.  At one point the 1 year old and the 3 year old were wailing at the same time.  The little one was kind of cranky all day and the 3 year old hit his face on metal hand rails twice in a row after repeatedly being told not to run off. The weather was not too hot, not too cold; just  perfect for a long day outside.  We covered as much ground as we could but when the kids got too tired it was time to go.

I'm really proud of myself for resisting the urge to take a million animal pics that will only take up space on my hard drive and be really boring to look at later. 

Me and my two mom's (Mom in Law and Mom)

On Sunday we all went up to spend it at my Mom's.  My mom is still on crutches because she had foot surgery a few weeks ago and my Dad is out of town visiting his mom.   She really appreciated us being there and taking care of everything.  We kept it simple.  MJ grilled Hamburgers and Hot Dogs and we got sides from Fresh & Easy.

Both of the kids have the same name.  The bigger T came inside with two flowers from outside and said Happy Mother's day.  He tried to give one of them to me but I said I'm not a mother, and handed it to my mom in law.  I was the only female there that wasn't a mother.  Story of my life; but he didn't understand that.  Not five minutes later he came back inside with one for me and said Happy Mother's Day.  How sweet.  I guess he didn't want me to be left out.  You can't refuse such a sweet gesture so I laughed and took it.  We put them in our hair.

The little T is really sweet too.  He's just as squishy and cuddly as he can be. Kids definitely have their adorable moments but it's still nice to be able to send them home.

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You Either Got It or You Don't

My first thought.  Wow. Just wow. The kid's hair is wild and she's so young that she doesn't even have all of her teeth but if I weren't looking at her I'd think she was a 30-40 something singing in some fancy Jazz club in New York city.  This is a perfect example of someone who is literally born to do something.  I'm not saying that she doesn't have to practice or that she won't have to work hard at it but at that age or any age you don't sound this way unless you were gifted with a talent.

My second thought is why not me?  I love Karaoke but I can't sing to save my life and I'm certain that even if I worked at it 8 hours a day 5 days a week I would never sound even close to this.  I don't have to be a singer, it just  would have been nice to have been born with some natural talent besides being the only one in the room that will notice a spider or maintain muscle tone even if I don't work out.  Seriously.  I thought really hard-those are the only things I could think of and they aren't even talents!!  Am I really jealous of an 8 year old?

You either got it or you don't and Angelina Jordan REALLY has it.  She's adorable.  The rat nest hair could be her signature look, she'll eventually have all of her teeth and hopefully she is off to a great career doing something she is not only uniquely talented at but that she enjoys.  Basically living the dream.

  

16 Good Movies You've Never Heard Of

I'm a movie lover.  I've had a movie by mail delivery service since Blockbuster's heyday back in 2004. I loved them until they made me mad and I had to quit them for Netflix.  Then they went out of business and I like to think I had something to do with it.  Independent films are hit and miss.  Some are just really really bad.  Some did everything right but something about it didn't quite come together.  Some are so good it's a shame they didn't get more attention and those are the ones I love to find.   Between being off work for three weeks and MJ being gone I had the opportunity to do a lot of movie watching.  Here are some Netflix diamonds in the rough that I found recently.  These are all movies that you may have never heard of and are available in the streaming section of Netflix.  Grab a bowl of popcorn and enjoy!!

Dirty girl

I was initially attracted to this because Juno Temple is in it.  I really liked her in Killer Joe (another must see).  She's a really good actress who plays a lot of really interesting characters.  She doesn't seem to go for the blockbuster movies and I really like that.  Once it started I realized that Milla Jovovich was in it and I love her so it was win win after that.  The movie is filled with awesome hits from the 80's so if you love 80's music that alone will pull you in.  The two lead characters are really deep and layered.  They are thrown together and it was really interesting to watch their relationship evolve.  I watched this one night in bed on my ipad.  I was already crying and then when Don't Cry Out Loud came on I pretty much lost it.  I was just crying alone in my bed like some crazy woman.  If you watch nothing else on my list watch this one!!

Stuck in love

I've loved Jennifer Connelly since Labryinth.  It also has Lily Collins, Greg Kinnear and Kristen Bell.  It has a coming of age story kind of feel spread across three totally different age brackets.  If you enjoy writing or want to be a writer this might inspire you a little bit.  My favorite quote is when Bill Borgens (played by Greg Kinnear) says:  A writer is the sum of their experiences. Get some.  I think all of us as bloggers can relate to that one.

Bachelorette

This movie was okay.  I guess I just expected it to be better.  I wasn't the biggest fan of Kirsten Dunst's character.  She was just too, TOO if that makes any sense.  I found myself getting really tired of hearing her speak towards the end and I ended up kind of despising the other three girls too.  They were all just so selfish.  Rebel Wilson was the nice girl in the movie.  She's normally typecast to be really rough around the edges so it was nice to see her play a different character even though she swung the other way and was way too nice that it was annoying.  

The Good Doctor

This one had a really dark ending.  The lead character played by Orlando Bloom was obviously very messed up in the head as you find out as the movie goes on.  He was a good doctor but he does something that totally violates that hippocratic oath that all doctors are sworn to.

The Details

This movie was quirky, cooky and very good.  Jeff (Tobey Maguire) makes one mistake after another as his life spins out of control and it's like watching a train wreck by the end of it.  It was over the top but just enough so that it made the movie stand out as something different and not something totally stupid.  I really like Elizabeth Banks, Tobey Maguire and Ray Liotta.

And While We Were Here

It's very character driven as opposed to story line driven and that can make a movie kind of slow at times.  I like Kate Bosworth so decided to give it a chance and see it through to the end anyway. 

Adore

I love Robin Wright Penn and Naomi Watts.  These ladies are in their mid-late 40's and they still have amazing bikini bodies.  It was perfectly cast as it was realistic to think that both of them could hook the interest of younger men in such a bizarre love square.  Yes, love square.  It's not exactly a triangle.

The Place Beyond The Pines

The story line started out one way and then half way through totally changed focus.  I liked seeing Eva Mendes play such a complex interesting character.  Most people like Ryan Gosling but I like Bradley Cooper more and they are both in it.  MJ is a very tough movie critic and even he liked this one. It's the only one on the list that I did not watch alone.

Meet Bill

This movie was very real.   I totally related to Bill as he struggled to figure out how he fit into his own life.  His character was grounded in reality so even though he was a 40 something male I found that I could still relate to him.  My favorite quote from the whole movie is when Bill says, Working sucks. No matter what you do you make sure you make a lot of money doing it. Because it all sucks.  Elizabeth Banks again!  Love her.  (I don't know if this is in Netflix anymore.  I couldn't find it listed.)

How I live Now

I've liked Saoirse Ronan since I first saw her in Atonement.  This movie definitely had an odd sort of indy feel to it.  There were parts that I wasn't really sure what to make of but the acting was really good.  The storyline was typical in that it was the whole end of the world thing but it had a different vibe that set it apart from others like it.

Contracted

This movie was gross because of what happens to the lead character.  She contracts some horrible disease and the changes that she goes through are disgusting.  Some of the acting wasn't the greatest but it had me really intrigued and wanting to know more all the way up until the end when they did something I hate in a movie.  I was really mad but at the same time I still felt it was a unique enough movie to add to the list.

We Are What We Are

I consider myself a hardcore horror movie lover and if that is not your thing then this movie might be a little much for you.  There is cannibalism involved.  I really liked it but this kind of movie is not for everyone so proceed with caution.  I would also put Chained in this category.  Deeply disturbing and definitely not for everyone.

Compliance

It's basically a prank call gone way too far that ultimately results in a criminal arrest.  As I was watching the movie I couldn't believe what these people were doing just because someone on the phone told them to.  It seems like something that could never happen but apparently it's loosely based on a true story.  It's pretty disturbing to think of the power that an authority figure can have over people pushing them to do things that they know is wrong.  I have never heard of any of the actors in this movie.

Trishna

This one had a really shocking ending and left me wondering WHY but it was a really good movie.  If you liked Frieda Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire she's the female lead in this one.  If you haven't seen that movie I don't know where you've been! It was great.  Trishna follows the story of a girl growing up poor in rural India and follows her journey as she works to help support her family and falls in love with a rich boy from the upper class.

The Truth about emanuel
This one was pretty good too.  Jessica Biel plays one of the lead characters.  It's about a girl dealing with the death of her mother who meets someone who is also dealing with a death.  They have a connection and help each other in a way they probably never expected.

NOW IS GOOD
I've been a Dakota Fanning fan since she stole the show with Sean Penn in I Am Sam.  She was amazing as a little girl and still is.  Her sister Elle Fanning is the same.  I guess they were born for it.  This is your typical girl dying of a terminal disease falls in love with boy story.  I've seen it a million times and there is another one that just came out called Fault in Our Stars.  Such a sad, sad storyline but people like it so they keep making them.  Dakota works an English accent in this one and had me in tears at the end.  If a movie like this doesn't make you cry they did it wrong.

Don't waste your time on Slightly Single in LA.  It's just off.  Lacy Chabert of Party of Five fame must be getting hard up for roles. Drinking Buddies was not so great either.  It was just so dry.  Olivia Wilde what were you thinking? Anna Kendrick you can do better.  I'm thinking these are both movies that could have and should have been better but something about them fell flat.  It happens.

Other DVD's that I've watched recently (not available on Netflix streaming):
The Book Thief is a very special movie and is definitely a must see.  The story, the acting, the emotion.  It was all good.  I cried and cried at the end.  A super scary one is Evil Dead.  If you have a taste for chilling horror flicks this is a good one.  It even had me covering my eyes.  I also liked  People Like Us (more Elizabeth Banks). 

Yes.  I watch A LOT of movies!  If you have already seen these or end up watching any of them I'd love to know what you think.

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Since He's Been Gone

Throw Back Thursday:  Pics from
 Roaring 20's Holiday Party in January

Today is Thursday and not Friday like I wish it was but it's still a GREAT day because I'm finally getting my husband back.  I'm picking him up from the airport after work and I cannot wait to finally see him for real and not via FaceTime. 

Since he's been gone....

I am a major homebody.  I know this about myself but I'm not allowed to be as much of a homebody when MJ is around.  He's just the opposite.  We do things together and because I am in go mode I also do more things with others.  I did a few things but didn't make that much of an effort to get out especially towards the end.  I like being at home.  

Cooking has gone out the window even more so then it normally is.  I don't have to try to cook or feel guilty for not doing it.  I was actually impressed with myself because I did make Chicken Breast for the first three weeks.  It was boring but my grocery list never changed and it was easy.  After that I was over it.  As easy as it is to make chicken breast it's even easier to make Cheese Casadilla's so I've been eating that for the last two weeks.  I spiced it up this week by adding green onions.  I also made beans.  Just plain old fresh beans and I ate that with my casadilla's.  MJ looks down on my dinner.  I know he does.  So you are eating fat and carbs? Well, not exactly.  Cheese has a ton of protein and I weigh it.  1 oz per casadilla keeps the fat count reasonable and I use whole wheat tortillas.  BAM! Healthy cheap easy dinner and no dishes.

I go to bed earlier.  Some weekends I was tired but not really, really tired but I'd just go to bed because I was bored.  I wish that meant I was getting more sleep but lately I'm still waking up super early for no good reason.

My life becomes a lot more predictable and routine.  I eat the same things and do the same things every day.  This is just one reason why MJ is my better half.  He gets me out and about more then I'd be on my own and that's a good thing.

When I'm just there with myself I'm more likely to get productive with extra time.  I rarely clean house on Sunday's.  If it doesn't get done on Saturday it doesn't happen but one Sunday I was just sitting there so I cleaned the microwave and the stove top.  Then I watched some TV.  Then I decided to dust the floating shelves that are a pain in the butt because I have to take everything off and stand up on the counter tops to reach them all.  I usually do my writing in the mornings but there were a few nights that I was just sitting there so I got on my laptop and spent a few hours writing. 

I don't have to clean as often.  Things just don't get as messy when it's just me.  There is also a lot less laundry.

I dominate the Netflix Queue.  I put all my chick flicks and random movies at the top.  I like discovering new movies and sometimes that means no name independent or foreign films.  If there is an actor in it that I like or if the story line looks interesting I'm willing to give it a try.  A lot of them suck but I have found some hidden gems.  MJ is not interested in spending his Saturday night watching a movie that's probably going to suck so when he travels I get as many of those in as I can.
 
Does absence make the heart grow fonder or is it out of sight out of mind?  Our first separation in 2009 was the longest.  We had 7 months apart, 1 week together then 4 more months apart.  Eleven months!  I remember feeling happy but also nervous when it was time for him to come back.  What if he doesn't love me anymore?  What if things aren't the same?  I don't worry about that anymore.  We've done this so many times.  There is always an adjustment period when he leaves and then again when he comes back but in our case absence makes the heart grow fonder.  That's how it should be.

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No Carne Asada Tacos For You

Happy Friday everyone!!  It's time for some confessions.

I confess that after several years of blogging I finally did my first sponsored post.  I know that "sponsored post" is sometimes seen as a bad word in blog land but I'm feeling pretty good about the one I chose because it's a product that I truly love and had even already blogged about.  I was offered a chance to blog about a cellulite cream and a skin firming machine.  I thought about doing it for two seconds but turned it down because those are things I would never use and so even if readers might be interested it just didn't feel right getting paid to post about it.  Chances are they won't pop up too often but when and if they do just know that I'm only going to sponsor products that I really feel like I can stand behind.

I confess that I'm still watching 16 and pregnant.  I blame my DVR for recording it.  Yes, I set up that recording a long time ago but still.  While I'm on the subject are there no teen mom's in Arizona or Colorado with teen dads that don't wear camo?  In the last episode I swear I saw a camo pillow in the hospital where she had her baby and then when the baby was born he was immediately dressed in a camo onesie.  It seems like all the teens on the show are from the sticks of the Midwest or the South.  What's up with that?   

I confess that I'm really disappointed that I won't be eating Carne Asada Tacos tonight.  I've been stopping at Santana's on the way home almost every Friday since MJ has been gone but with four stitches in my mouth it would be too painful to eat something you sort of have to shove your face into.  Eating a taco with a fork makes no sense.

I confess that I drank wine out of a wine glass with a straw out of the side of my mouth in a restaurant last night.  Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I confess that I did not miss exercising during those 10 weeks post surgery.  It was really nice not to have to worry about trying to fit it into my schedule, feeling like I had to do it or feeling guilty if I didn't.  It's not that I hate exercise, it's just that I'm worn out after work and I still find it so difficult to find the time and energy to fit it in.

I confess that the Yoga video that used to be a piece of cake kicked my booty.  I was actually sore afterwards and yoga rarely makes me sore.  The upside is that I'm burning more calories then I used to because I'm working harder.  The downside is that it means I'm out of shape!! The 2nd time I did it I didn't get sore at all so I'm already doing better.  I'm going to go back to 30 Day Shred level 1 so I can get back to level 3.  I didn't really miss it but once I get started it is kind of addicting because I want to improve and get back to where I was.  I like being fit even if sometimes the work it takes to get there really sucks.

I confess that this is the first time I've blogged this many days in a week since I marathon posted about our Maui vacation in December.  Four times is nothing for some people but it's kind of a big deal for me!  Don't get used to it.

Linking up with Leslie @A Blonde Ambition

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The Glass is Half Full (Even When You Have Stitches in Your Mouth)

So, about 2 months ago I got this bump on the inside of my bottom lip.  It wasn't too bothersome.  It got bigger then it got smaller.  Initially, you just kind of shrug these things off so it took me a while to figure out that it was the same one and that it didn't seem to be going away.  I did what I always do when I have strange symptoms.  I took it to Google and self diagnosed myself with a cyst that was probably not going to go away.  Ever.  At one point I though maybe the inter-webs were wrong because it got super flat and stayed away for about a week but then it came back bigger and badder then ever.  And maybe I could have lived with it if it were in a different location but my bottom teeth kept hitting it making it tender and uncomfortable.  I scheduled a doctor's appointment when I realized there was a good chance it wouldn't go away and was referred to a head and neck specialist appointment for the following week.

I wasn't sure what to expect at the appointment.  Would they tell me to wait and see?  Would they remove it that day?  Would they schedule a different appointment to remove it?  I sat down in the exam room and the doctor confirmed what I'd found out on the internet.  It's a mucocele cyst caused by a blocked salivary gland and sometimes they do but there is a very good chance it won't go away.  I asked if he could just pop it rather then actually dig it out and he said no.  My body is trying to make saliva and as long as that gland is blocked it would just build right up again.  Bummer.  He could perform oral surgery right then and there to remove the gland and the cyst.  There would be cutting and stitches involved but it would only take 15 minutes.  I wasn't mentally prepared to be cut that day, but when are you ever?  I realized that if I left I would just give me more time to worry.  I'd just have to come back and in the meantime I'd still be suffering with the cyst.  I told him I'd wait and think about it so the nurse went to get me a business card.  Just when the doctor was standing up to leave, I changed my mind.

Hope this pic isn't too gross for my blog.

There were two numbing shots which really hurt.  Then I didn't feel much.  Then there was this burning smell like a campfire.  Not entirely unpleasant unless it's coming from your mouth.  Then there was some tugging.  I knew that had to be the stitches.  As promised about 20 minutes later I was on my way home with 4 stitches and a swollen bottom lip.  When the numbing medication wore off I thought I was going to be really, really bad off and it was for a little while but I took an Ibuprofen and that helped.  The doctor had the nerve to say that most people really aren't in that much pain.  What?  It hurt!  I think it hurt more then my abdominal laparascopic surgery if that makes any sense at all.

It hurts if I talk too much but I'm getting used to the feel of prickly stitches in my mouth.  They are supposed to dissolve in a week.  It was throbbing in the morning but it's feeling better now.  My bottom lip is still swollen, I use straws out of the right side of my mouth and I have this odd sensation that people are looking at me funny trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with me.  

Things like this suck but it really makes me stop and appreciate the fact that I have really good health insurance.  I have no idea how much my laparascopic surgery cost.  I'm sure it was in the five figures but I didn't pay a dime for any of it and I walked in and out of oral surgery without paying anything.  I don't have a deductible to meet or even a co pay for doctor visits and I only pay $5 for Rx's.  As long as it's just me and my spouse I don't pay for these benefits at all.  It's totally free.  About 8 years ago I didn't have health insurance at all for almost two years.  I went to planned parenthood for necessities and luckily nothing happened but what if it had?  As much as I complain about the daily grind that is work I have to be grateful (and I really, really am) because it's what gets us such amazing benefits.

The glass is always half full.  Even when you have stitches in your mouth.  There was a time when I couldn't see it that way but I'm glad that I do now.

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Why I Only Eat Greek Yogurt

What took me so long?  I tend to ask myself this question a lot.  I'm late to the party on so many things!  Maxi dresses, knee high boots and Scandal just to name a few.  One of my most recent late to the party discoveries is Greek Yogurt.  If you aren't eating it yet you should be and here's why.

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How 'Bout Some Sephora?

The sponsors: Jenny (Dancin' With A Dolly) / Rebekah (Wearable) / Cece (Pink Sunshine)
Lauren (Sassy Sweetheart) / Elisa (Sammy's Fabulous Jewelry) / Stephanie (Shades Of Color Art)

Some beautiful ladies have teamed up to bring you the ultimate beauty lovers giveaway. How would you like to win the Michael Kors cosmetic bag shown above and a $40 giftcard to Sephora to help you fill it?  And if you win don't be a hoarder like me and "save it."  What am I saving it for? I won a Sephora giveaway months ago and I still haven't used it.  If anyone has any suggestions on what they like to buy there I'm all ears.
Good luck! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Open to US Residents only 

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So Ready for Retirement

This has been some kind of week; a bad one. Last week flew by but this week I can't believe it's only Thursday. Time is moving incredibly slow. That's what happens when you spend your day in a fog.

There is no pattern that I can figure out but every now and then I get insomnia. MJ will usually tell me that I was asleep but it doesn't feel like it. I feel like I'm laying in bed all night waiting for the alarm to go off.  I can only guess that I'm just not getting into that deep REM sleep that makes you feel like you are sleeping and rested when you wake up. So that happened last Monday. I couldn't fall asleep and was exhausted all day. I took OTC sleeping pills for the rest of the week to make sure it wouldn't happen again and I was okay for the rest of the week but this week I had a new problem. I'm waking up hours before my alarm clock for no reason. The sleeping pill gets me to sleep but then I wake up too early so I'm still not getting enough.

My happily retired parents 

Speaking of being tired I am so ready to be retired. It makes total sense that the word tired is in the word retired because after working for so many years you have got to be straight up tired. I know I am and I am not even half way there. People in their 30's have no business even thinking about retirement.  I'm thinking about it because I'm having a really bad week and my mom is having a really good one because she just retired. After 28 years of working at the post office my mom is finally a free woman.  28 freaking years! That is a really long time to work at one place. My Dad retired last year but they still couldn't travel freely or be flexible with their plans because my mom was still tied down to a job. She might have worked a little longer but after seeing my Dad enjoy the retired lifestyle she was ready to be done with it. I'm glad it's happening while they can still enjoy it. I hate hearing about people who spend their life working only to retire so old and/or ill that they aren't healthy enough to really enjoy their life once they finally can.  Or worse; that they never even make it. My parents are gym rats and are in good health.  My Dad is doing really well since his Kidney transplant so now they'll get to enjoy life together.  It's a pretty exciting time for them. California isn't exactly a retirement friendly state so they have some big decisions to make about where they want to move and settle down. This is their time to live life on their terms. It makes me happy to know they will have comfortable retirement.  Things have fallen into place.  They've worked hard and they deserve it.  I'll have to do the same. 

If I can't retire I'll settle for independently wealthy but either one feels like an impossible far off dream.  I love thinking about getting there one day but I also hate thinking about it because who knows if I'll actually be able to.  I  have a long way to go before I am age eligible but realistically, I'll probably end up working for several years beyond that.  It's overwhelming (and depressing) to think about working well into my 60's. Sigh.  Pensions are a thing of the past.  How do regular folks do it? I contributed to a 401(k) with a company match for 6 years at my old job. I rolled that into a 403 (b) where I contribute what I can monthly since 2008.  I also contribute 7% of my pay to a state retirement account.  I always forget about that one because they make us do it.  I've been paying into social security since I was 16 and I have multiple savings accounts but I still have no idea if it will be enough. I don't think I'll ever feel like I'm doing enough. What do people who don't work rely on?  MJ has a 401(k) with a employer match and he plans to stay in the Army reserves long enough to collect retirement from that so his chances are better then mine. I hate thinking about going to work every day while he lives the retired life.  Call me selfish, but it would really suck.      

If only my actual life was one big vacation with days and days stretched out ahead of me with which to do whatever I want whenever I want.  Wouldn't it be awesome though if you could retire in your prime when you are still young, hot and full of energy?  Not that I can barely stay up past 10 or that my parents aren't hot or anything.  I won't wish these years away.  There is plenty of life to be lived and good times to be had but there will also be years and years of weekends that are never long enough, many Monday's I will dread and vacations that I wish would last forever. 

It's All About the Writing

My weekend was so boring.  Definitely boring in a good way but also nothing to write home about since I'm sure you don't want to hear about how I didn't leave the house once, ate chicken, watched movies, did laundry, got rid of some junk, finally exercised and sat at my dining room table in my pajamas writing.  The only person I "saw" was MJ and that was over FaceTime.  This can't be a weekend post because I basically just summed it up in 3 sentences and there are no pictures so I'm going to talk about something else now.  

How often do you go back and read your old blog posts?  I don't do it all the time but now and then I randomly skip around from post to post reading things I wrote two months or two years ago.  It's really fun to take a walk down memory lane.   It's super annoying if I find a typo after so much time has passed.  I guess reading it a million times isn't always enough.  My earlier blog posts are very long winded, overly wordy and way too uptight.  I changed my writing style when I realized that other people were actually reading it.   I had to work on loosening up to make it more conversational and not worrying so much about using proper English so that my personality would come through and it wouldn't read like a boring college essay.

When I write posts I have a tendency to obsess.  I cut and paste entire sections from one place to another, add words, delete words.  I read it over and over  looking for typos and making sure that everything is just the way I want it.  Some posts flow easier, but with others I have a harder time translating my thoughts and feelings into words.  The editing process never ends.  After I read it for the millionth time I can't look at it anymore because if I do I'll probably find yet another thing I want to change and I'm just over it by then. 

By the time I hit publish I don't even know what I'm looking at any more so reading it later allows me to look at it with a fresh eye so it's like reading it for the first time.   I finally get get to "see" what I wrote in a way that I couldn't when I originally wrote obsessed over it.  I don't know how people blog every day! I really don't have that much to say but I also have this problem where I hesitate because I'm not sure if something is "blog worthy" then the more I look at it the worse it seems to get.  I'll throw some words down one day and then finish it the next with a fresh brain or I just abandon the post all together.  I have the same issue with writing my novel.  One day it's the worst thing ever written, but if I don't look at it for a few days I start to like it again.  I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing even though it's never going to be perfect.  I over think everything and it's really annoying!  I'm still trying to be more okay with blogging just for the sake of blogging without worrying too much if it will be one of the best things I've ever written. 

The sharing and the interaction with readers is a big bonus but it's really is all about the writing for me.  And the preservation of memories.  It's the whole reason I blog in the first place so even if I look back and think oh my gosh why did I even write that, I'll still be okay with how I wrote it and love that it's there to look back on.  That being said, I really do need to learn how to let go a little bit.  Write what I want to say and move on just like I would if no one was reading.  It's just a blog.    

Have you changed your writing style from when you first started blogging to now?
How long does it take you to write a post?
How important is it to you to blog every day?

He's Not Here But He Is

My actual Birthday turned out better than expected.  I decided to leave work an hour early just because.  I stopped and picked up a donut on the way home just because.  I drank wine while eating said donut just because.  Then later on that night my mom called to say that they were in the area so they stopped by for a few hours.

I was off Friday and I slept in until an alarming 10am.  I can't remember the last time I did that so I think I just really needed it.  I knew what I was planning to wear to dinner that night but as soon as I put it on the negative thoughts started in.  I texted MJ.  I look fat.  He has got to be way more tired of hearing this then I am of saying it since I've only said it about a million and one times but instead of just telling me to get over it he FaceTimed me which was perfect because not only was I hating the way I looked in my dress, I wasn't sure what boots to wear.  I showed him my outfit and we decided on the black boots.  He told me I looked great and that's just one way he wasn't actually there but somehow still was that night.

I chose the Chocolate Peanut Butter mousse.  Of course!

I chose Season's 52.  I was immediately intrigued by the concept that nothing on their menu is over 475 calories.  Not everyone cares about that kind of thing but I do, plus it looked like a really nice.

A lot of times we end up in really loud bars for happy hour but there was a piano player and it was really quiet so we were able to chat and catch up without yelling at each other.  We all ordered flat breads which were pretty thin and crispy.  Not a lot of cheese.   I wasn't surprised because what can you really expect for less then 475 calories?  But it was enough and it was really good.  After dinner our waitress brought out this giant tower of mousse and we each got to pick one for dessert.  She also took a group shot and gave me the hard copy for free.

When she came back to refill our waters she said the bill had already been taken care of.  My eyes got really big.  How?  I look at my friends in confusion and we were all looking around the restaurant.  Are we such a hot bunch that somebody decided to pay for our meal?  Or is this place just so awesome that they pick up the tab on your Birthday and if so how did I not know this?

She asked me if I have a boyfriend in Germany and I almost started to cry.  I don't have have a boyfriend in Germany but I have an awesome amazing sweet husband there who woke up at 4am to treat me and my friends to dinner.  One of them said she felt like she was in a Lifetime movie and I totally agreed.  Not the part where the woman tries to kill her best friend so she can steal her husband but the part when the friend doesn't die and makes her way back to her grieving husband where they live happily ever after.

And that's just how he is.  Romantic, thoughtful and so great that 6 years later I still can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be able to call him my husband.

Tri-Tip Sandwich // Mac and Cheese // Greens

Saturday I went to my parent's house.  It was the first time spending the night since they sold my childhood home.  It was weird at first but if my parents live there; it's home.  We went to dinner that night  at a Soul Food restaurant called Felix's.  I will go there for the Macaroni and Cheese alone.  It takes the #1 spot for best restaurant mac and cheese but everything else was really good too.  We spent the rest of our time together hanging out and watching movies.

MJ and I FaceTimed twice on Saturday and once on Sunday while I was still at my parent's house.  I  miss him more every day that he's gone but even when he's not here he is.  I'm always thinking about him.  He's still a big part of my life and we stay connected.  We text, we e mail, we FaceTime.  He fixes airline ticket disasters and treats me to dinner.  He's not here and yet he is. 

When he comes back I definitely want us to go to Season's 52 together.  He's  never been, I still want to try their happy hour and it will be my turn to pick up the tab.

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Pink Moscato and Netflix

I dropped MJ off at the airport for his flight to Germany a little over a week ago.  You'd think it was going to be forever.  I got teary before we left, I cried on the way home then I cried when I got home to such a quite and empty house.  There has only been one year that I've known him that he has not traveled somewhere for an extended period of time so I keep thinking that I'm supposed to be really good at this and totally unaffected but I'm not.  I've grown very attached to him and it's just not the same when he's not around.

So what have I been doing since then?

Work doesn't quit.  It's been busy since the day I went back and it's still busy but we have made it through the worst and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

Dreaming of vacation.  It's been 5 months since our last one, I had 3 weeks off in February and yet still I'm ready for more.  We finally booked our airline tickets to Cancun the day MJ left.  Maybe I should have checked out ticket prices before we booked the vacation because it turns out they were a lot more pricey then I thought.  We will have two lay overs there and back to save money and the tickets are still costing us $600 each with tax and everything.   

Hours upon hours of Netflix.  My first conquest was Dance Academy.  It's kind of high school but it was so thoughtfully done that I was able to look past that and fell in love with the characters and the story.  I love a good girl with a dream story especially when that girl wants to be a Ballerina.  I love, loved, loved that show and was deeply and profoundly affected by the last three episodes of Season 2.  I cried through every one.  Thank goodness the running time is only about 24 minutes.  I've never cried that hard and long over TV.  Ever.  And I've done a lot of TV crying.  I'm not sure if anyone else my age has any interest in watching it but I won't spoil it for you just in case.  I went to bed missing MJ and exhausted from over an hour of TV crying then I dusted myself off and finished Season 3 in about 2 days.

Last weekend was Scandal.  We decided that we'd watch the rest of Season 2 on our own so that when he gets back we can start on Season 3 which is piling up in the DVR.  It took me about half a season to warm up to it but I'm really into it now.  I'm waiting for the day when I can say "can I have the room" with conviction and impact just like Fitz.

Drinking wine.  If you like sweet wines and haven't tried the Sutter Home Pink Moscato you should.  It's one of my favorites and very reasonably priced.  I had the whole bottle to myself over last weekend and bought another one while I was out at Target for this weekend.  Or better yet, I'll probably drink it tonight! I like the color and I even like it that it has a screw on lid.  It's way more practical than a cork.

Not exercising.  My doctor cleared me for exercise.  Last week was the 8 week mark and my first consistently pain free week.  I will be getting back to it soon but the truth of the matter is that I really haven't missed it all that much so I'm not rushing it. 

Eating Chicken.  Baked Chicken breast soaked in a bag of marinade mix is my specialty.  My first batch was a lot tastier then I expected so I made it again on Sunday.  It's fast, easy, healthy and it feeds me for 3-4 days. I kid you not, I will probably be making it every Sunday.

Some writing.  Not as much as I should be but I will fix that this month.  I'm so close to the end and I'm having a really hard time deciding if I want the main character to be victorious or crash and burn.  I personally get really bitter when books don't have a happy ending so I'm not sure I want to do that but at the same time; life is not necessarily a fairy tale and maybe it's okay if my book isn't either.  What do you think? 

I FaceTimed my older sister two weekends ago.  It was nice to "see" her again.  I can't believe it's been 8 months since they moved.  Last weekend I got to FaceTime MJ.  We made dinner together and even working with a hotel kitchenette his was still better then mine.  You already know what I made.  He made pork chops with couscous and will probably make something different next time.  I will still be baking chicken.

Virtual Assisting.  When he travels I turn into his virtual assistant/wife.  Last year I had to send him a box of clothing which cost $250 to ship.  A shopping spree would have been cheaper.  Who knew it was that expensive to ship internationally?  I was shocked.  This year it's documents.  I sent one last week and just yesterday I got an e mail request for more with instructions, attachments and everything.  I am happy to be his assistant but he better not ask me to mail anything.  I'm still recovering from the sticker shock of that one. 

I also send him selfies upon request // Happy Birthday to Me?   

Getting older.  Today is my Birthday but it doesn't feel like it.  What is a Birthday supposed to "feel" like at this age anyways?  If there's anything I hate more then rain it's rain on my Birthday.  MJ is gone, there was traffic, I have to work and I can already feel myself slipping into a grumpy mood.  Sweet Birthday messages help but Tuesday is such an unfortunate day for a Birthday.  The silver lining is that it's a short week for us which is why I worked today.  I'm off Friday and I will go out to celebrate with some friends.  Maybe then it will feel like my Birthday. 

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