Saturday was very exciting because it was our first step on getting this wedding planned. I didn't really think that I would care too much about all of this. I mean, I never thought I would ever be able to have a wedding in the first place so it's not something I had previously put too much thought into. I am also not a picky bride. If anything I would refer to myself as a sensible bride on a budget and accordingly my main focus going into this was just to get this thing done and at or below budget.
Well, the budget bride part of me is still there and I will never be a bridezilla but I am finding that this is all so much fun and I am really enjoying it! I scoured the Internet for the last two weeks and came up with four potential locations that fit into our budget. I knew it was going to be raining all day Saturday which kind of sucked but rain or shine I knew this was something we were going to get taken care of. I hate rain but even that couldn't quell my excitement as we hit the very wet road at 9:30am.
Our first stop was Zosa. They offer all inclusive wedding packages that fit very nicely into our budget. It's a bed and breakfast with lots of green grass and trees all around it. The ceremony site is a gorgeous gazebo like structure with a water fountain in front of it and a bridge leading over it. There is a nice poolside area for cocktail hour and the reception room itself is pretty nice too. As I drove up to it and saw Zosa written on the wrought iron gate my first thought was how cute this place is. It is so quaint and homey. We did like the location but are having second thoughts because it is about 1 hour away from where we live and the rooms are very expensive. This would make things kind of complicated for our out of town guests.
Next stop. Walmart, just because we had a little bit of time between appointments then off to MVR. This one is the next most affordable location. They have very flexible bar/beverage options and low pricing on the per person plate fee. There is a nice white gazebo for the ceremony and an upstairs room for the reception. I wasn't that crazy about the maroon drapes or the maroon chairs so I'd definitely have to get chair covers which would really make the room pop and they do provide nice floral center pieces which no other locations does.
We stopped to eat at a mall overloaded with traffic and people reminding me that I have not done ANY Christmas shopping and then off to the 3rd location. The H Hotel apparently is undergoing renovation so the coordinator showed us around with carpet and drape swatches in hand so we can see what the rooms are going to look like. The rooms were stripped down to concrete floors and walls but I think it's going to be very nice. There is a beautiful outdoor ceremony location with lots of green lush grass and the reception rooms have lovely floor to ceiling windows with a nice view of the garden area where the ceremony is set up. This is the most expensive so far, but Mj really likes this one and so I am going to play around with the packages offered and see if I can make it work.
The last location was a restaurant. It was more of a quick see just to find out what the set up is and if we can make it work. It didn't bowl us over. There was a nice view of the racetrack and we would have to bring in tables and chairs. The entire event would be outdoors.
I was really hoping Zosa would totally win us over to the point that the out of the way location and expensive room prices would not matter so much because their all inclusive package (including unlimited alcohol for 4 hours) gave us a lot of bang for our buck. We like the package that only has us have to arrange the photographer, flowers and cake. The MVR resort is nice enough and more affordably priced but The Handlery is a bit more scenic and the fact that it is just that much nicer makes it a bit more appealing. There are some very scenic military base options near the ocean with affordable catering that I am going to look into this week and hopefully we will be able to make the decision by next week.
We didn't get home until about 4:30 pm. It was a long, wet, but very exciting day. Mj was a trouper.
I've been doing all of this wedding stuff but I really need to get on the whole Christmas bandwagon because that is....OMG NEXT WEEK!!!
Living In A Studio With My Fiance
12.11.2009
So, Mj has been back for two weeks and it has been absolutely wonderful. It is so nice having someone to come home to every night. Someone to hang out with and laugh with at home instead of just being alone all the time. He is my cuddle bear and it's so nice to have him by my side and in my bed at night! He's taking a break and doesn't go back to work until next month making it that much harder for me to get out of bed in the morning. Who wants to go to work when there is a cuddly snuggle bear in your bed?
He fixed the garbage disposal. I thought I'd have to replace my door lock because it gets so tight every year when it gets cold so that sometimes I am afraid that I won't be able to even get in my house. Mj figured out that all it needed was just a little WD-40. It's nice having a man around! They just know things. Things that I as a kinda girly girly never would.
The man can cook and I must say that I find it very sexy. He can throw together all kinds of things without using a cook book. He [we sort of] have made some delicious meals. I am basically his assistant seeing as how I am and always have been pretty clueless when it comes to that but he makes me want to do better. I want to be able to cook a nice dinner for my husband and maybe I'll start out with cook books. I won't be as good as him but I will do it. We went grocery shopping this week. My cupboards have never been so stocked in the almost five years that I have lived here.
There are now two people, two people's stuff, and only about 397 square feet between us in my little studio. We have a new flat screen TV now, I have a new white desk, and the futon is on the other side of the room and the bed is where the futon is, and there is an extra closet now but you get the idea. Before he got here I'd look around and wonder, how in the world are we going to be able to make this work? I outgrew this place with just me and my stuff years ago. There is basically no storage and I've had to bring in two additional portable closets and utilize a lot of under bed storage bins to make space for my clothes. I did what I could to create additional space for him with the extra closet, clearing drawers, throwing stuff away and just hoped for the best. His entire apartment was put in storage before he went to Kosovo and he has with him the stuff he brought there and any additional things he's accumulated while there so it's been OK so far. There are about 5 storage bins of various other items that my parents are letting us store in their garage and this will just have to do for now.
I can be a bit of a neat freak about certain things but I am finding that I am doing OK with the set up. Mj has just a couple little messy habits as many of us do but they are very minor and he is just such a spectacular guy that it doesn't even bother me that much. I can get a bit particular when it comes to wanting clear table tops. Mj has a tendency to come in and empty his pockets and put stuff down haphazardly so I have used baskets for him to put miscellaneous items in that I just don't like to see scattered about. The reality is, that there really just isn't much space to put things but I think that we are going to be OK.
The anxiety and depression that I could feel creeping into my soul is gone. This may sound corny and yes it is straight from the movie Jerry Maguire, but he completes me. He really does. He is my rock. I am a better and happier person because he is around. Somehow nothing seems as frightening or impossible when he is by my side.
If we can manage to live in less then 400 square feet of space for however long it takes us to end up in a new home then that's just one more thing in addition to the whole eleven months apart that we have managed to get through together. These things will only make us stronger and I can think of no one else that I would want to go through any of this with other then Mj.
He fixed the garbage disposal. I thought I'd have to replace my door lock because it gets so tight every year when it gets cold so that sometimes I am afraid that I won't be able to even get in my house. Mj figured out that all it needed was just a little WD-40. It's nice having a man around! They just know things. Things that I as a kinda girly girly never would.
The man can cook and I must say that I find it very sexy. He can throw together all kinds of things without using a cook book. He [we sort of] have made some delicious meals. I am basically his assistant seeing as how I am and always have been pretty clueless when it comes to that but he makes me want to do better. I want to be able to cook a nice dinner for my husband and maybe I'll start out with cook books. I won't be as good as him but I will do it. We went grocery shopping this week. My cupboards have never been so stocked in the almost five years that I have lived here.
There are now two people, two people's stuff, and only about 397 square feet between us in my little studio. We have a new flat screen TV now, I have a new white desk, and the futon is on the other side of the room and the bed is where the futon is, and there is an extra closet now but you get the idea. Before he got here I'd look around and wonder, how in the world are we going to be able to make this work? I outgrew this place with just me and my stuff years ago. There is basically no storage and I've had to bring in two additional portable closets and utilize a lot of under bed storage bins to make space for my clothes. I did what I could to create additional space for him with the extra closet, clearing drawers, throwing stuff away and just hoped for the best. His entire apartment was put in storage before he went to Kosovo and he has with him the stuff he brought there and any additional things he's accumulated while there so it's been OK so far. There are about 5 storage bins of various other items that my parents are letting us store in their garage and this will just have to do for now.
I can be a bit of a neat freak about certain things but I am finding that I am doing OK with the set up. Mj has just a couple little messy habits as many of us do but they are very minor and he is just such a spectacular guy that it doesn't even bother me that much. I can get a bit particular when it comes to wanting clear table tops. Mj has a tendency to come in and empty his pockets and put stuff down haphazardly so I have used baskets for him to put miscellaneous items in that I just don't like to see scattered about. The reality is, that there really just isn't much space to put things but I think that we are going to be OK.
The anxiety and depression that I could feel creeping into my soul is gone. This may sound corny and yes it is straight from the movie Jerry Maguire, but he completes me. He really does. He is my rock. I am a better and happier person because he is around. Somehow nothing seems as frightening or impossible when he is by my side.
If we can manage to live in less then 400 square feet of space for however long it takes us to end up in a new home then that's just one more thing in addition to the whole eleven months apart that we have managed to get through together. These things will only make us stronger and I can think of no one else that I would want to go through any of this with other then Mj.
The Saver and The Spender
12.03.2009
In every relationship there is usually a spender and a saver. It seems like some force of nature that draws opposites in this category to one another. Each person has their designated role and the silent and sometimes not so silent tug of war ensues as the pair makes their way through a life together where the subject of money is simply impossible to ignore. Just one more thing to keep things interesting and although it can be annoying at times I do think it can be a good thing. Guess which one I am? Yes, the saver.
The Sunday after Thanksgiving we went to a store to catch some of the Black Friday deals but without the massive crowds. Mj picks out a navigation system for his car. Now that I have one in my car of course he wants to be like me. After checking out the cameras and the flat screen TV's he decides on a flat screen as a Christmas present for his mom. The total for both purchases is around $750 and while my eyes are bugging out of my head he barely bats an eye.
The next day while I am at work I get an e mail from him saying that he's decided to keep the TV. What!! I can't understand this because although my TV is very small it is only temporary until we move and he has a large flat screen TV in storage and purchased a projector while he was overseas. Additionally, he has a regular TV in storage as well. Why in the world do we need essentially, 5 TVs between us? What is he going to get his mother now on top of this huge purchase?
I walk in the door after work and find that not only has he decided to keep it but it is already neatly set up and displaying Monday night football. The old TV has been relegated to a sliver of space between the wall and the closet. I look at it and him in stunned silence. I am even more confused when he tells me that he kept the TV because he has decided that he wants to get his mother a camera instead. OK....so why isn't the TV still in the box ready to go back to the store I ask. His reply is basically that instead of taking it all the way back to the store he just decided to keep it. Just for the heck of it.
I cannot comprehend such things. You see, I am a saver. If I have extra money which is rarely these days I prefer to save it rather then indulge it. A penny saved is a penny earned and although I really really wish that some day I could walk outside and pluck a dollar off of my own personal money tree I know that is never going to happen. My last major purchases came when I moved into my place almost five years ago and was forced to by a new computer when the old one died on me and some other things to get set up in my new place. Oh, and who could forget the Ugg Boot meltdown in October and the dominoe effect of anxiety my car purchase set off last month. I plan and save for my little mini trips here and there and I do buy clothes with coupons here and there when I can. Next year I will likely have to spend a hundred or so on a new cell phone and I don't even want to think about how much my wedding dress is going to cost.
In no uncertain terms I told him this was very upsetting for me considering all of our expenses we have coming up and the fact that he isn't going back to work until mid January. I can't afford to go to Vegas with him and am agonizing over a clothing purchase I made yesterday. I don't even know how I am going to pay for some of my upcoming expenses and he just decides to keep a $400 TV just for the hell of it. "It's not fair," I basically whined. Once I got him to acknowledge my feelings then I pretty much had to get over it. I trust him not to behave recklessly and spend beyond his means and when it comes down to it his means are different then mine. I have to take that into account. The more money you have the more you can spend. Just because my strained budget can't stretch to accommodate certain luxuries doesn't mean that I have to hold him accountable to the same tight standard.
That being said, we are going to sit down come January and work on our finances together. I am good at saving and budgeting and he pretty much buys what he wants. Mostly because he can. He is not out of control but to keep him on track I want to come up with a reasonable budget for him based on his expenses and income. Not mine. It's only fair. As a couple, we need to work together by discussing big purchases-not that I will ever make any!! We also need to settle on a system of savings and managing our joint finances that is comfortable for both of us. We have the joint savings which we do deposit money in and we have a joint checking account but haven't really done too much with it. I think it's always best for partners to still have their own individual accounts too.
When you think about it two savers together would have NO fun. Life would be filled with cheap low budget trips and stress over every penny. Two spenders together would find themselves in a world of financial trouble highlighted by way too many things and a life that depends solely on credit cards and debt. Don't get me wrong. If you make a lot of money by all means spend it. It's the spending AT OR BELOW YOUR MEANS part and putting money aside into savings that is key. Whatever those means may be and like it or not, that determines how much you are able to spend. You might be able to spend more if you make more but that also means you should be saving more!! Oh, and having credit cards does not count as having money.
Instead of fighting about these differences we can communicate, take a little from each, balance each other out and hopefully have the best of both worlds. Well, that's the plan anyways.
The Sunday after Thanksgiving we went to a store to catch some of the Black Friday deals but without the massive crowds. Mj picks out a navigation system for his car. Now that I have one in my car of course he wants to be like me. After checking out the cameras and the flat screen TV's he decides on a flat screen as a Christmas present for his mom. The total for both purchases is around $750 and while my eyes are bugging out of my head he barely bats an eye.
The next day while I am at work I get an e mail from him saying that he's decided to keep the TV. What!! I can't understand this because although my TV is very small it is only temporary until we move and he has a large flat screen TV in storage and purchased a projector while he was overseas. Additionally, he has a regular TV in storage as well. Why in the world do we need essentially, 5 TVs between us? What is he going to get his mother now on top of this huge purchase?
I walk in the door after work and find that not only has he decided to keep it but it is already neatly set up and displaying Monday night football. The old TV has been relegated to a sliver of space between the wall and the closet. I look at it and him in stunned silence. I am even more confused when he tells me that he kept the TV because he has decided that he wants to get his mother a camera instead. OK....so why isn't the TV still in the box ready to go back to the store I ask. His reply is basically that instead of taking it all the way back to the store he just decided to keep it. Just for the heck of it.
I cannot comprehend such things. You see, I am a saver. If I have extra money which is rarely these days I prefer to save it rather then indulge it. A penny saved is a penny earned and although I really really wish that some day I could walk outside and pluck a dollar off of my own personal money tree I know that is never going to happen. My last major purchases came when I moved into my place almost five years ago and was forced to by a new computer when the old one died on me and some other things to get set up in my new place. Oh, and who could forget the Ugg Boot meltdown in October and the dominoe effect of anxiety my car purchase set off last month. I plan and save for my little mini trips here and there and I do buy clothes with coupons here and there when I can. Next year I will likely have to spend a hundred or so on a new cell phone and I don't even want to think about how much my wedding dress is going to cost.
In no uncertain terms I told him this was very upsetting for me considering all of our expenses we have coming up and the fact that he isn't going back to work until mid January. I can't afford to go to Vegas with him and am agonizing over a clothing purchase I made yesterday. I don't even know how I am going to pay for some of my upcoming expenses and he just decides to keep a $400 TV just for the hell of it. "It's not fair," I basically whined. Once I got him to acknowledge my feelings then I pretty much had to get over it. I trust him not to behave recklessly and spend beyond his means and when it comes down to it his means are different then mine. I have to take that into account. The more money you have the more you can spend. Just because my strained budget can't stretch to accommodate certain luxuries doesn't mean that I have to hold him accountable to the same tight standard.
That being said, we are going to sit down come January and work on our finances together. I am good at saving and budgeting and he pretty much buys what he wants. Mostly because he can. He is not out of control but to keep him on track I want to come up with a reasonable budget for him based on his expenses and income. Not mine. It's only fair. As a couple, we need to work together by discussing big purchases-not that I will ever make any!! We also need to settle on a system of savings and managing our joint finances that is comfortable for both of us. We have the joint savings which we do deposit money in and we have a joint checking account but haven't really done too much with it. I think it's always best for partners to still have their own individual accounts too.
When you think about it two savers together would have NO fun. Life would be filled with cheap low budget trips and stress over every penny. Two spenders together would find themselves in a world of financial trouble highlighted by way too many things and a life that depends solely on credit cards and debt. Don't get me wrong. If you make a lot of money by all means spend it. It's the spending AT OR BELOW YOUR MEANS part and putting money aside into savings that is key. Whatever those means may be and like it or not, that determines how much you are able to spend. You might be able to spend more if you make more but that also means you should be saving more!! Oh, and having credit cards does not count as having money.
Instead of fighting about these differences we can communicate, take a little from each, balance each other out and hopefully have the best of both worlds. Well, that's the plan anyways.
*Frugalista Money Tip: Spend at or below your means and save at or above your means*
Night Out On The Town VIP Style
11.29.2009
Wine Tasting In The City
It's Sunday night and we have just spent a nice evening together watching football and making pizza which rivaled any that I've ever had in a restaurant. I turn around and see him sleeping peacefully on the bed behind me and I can hardly believe that he is here. When he wraps his strong warm arms around me I close my eyes and sigh thinking that it just doesn't get much better then this. This is what I've been missing all of these months. This is what I needed to help put myself back together again. He's been home for exactly one week and I have truly enjoyed each and every day.
Last night the limo came to pick us up at 5 pm on the dot. I knew that it was coming because I have been planning this for quite a while but he didn't realize it until the limo driver called to tell me he had arrived. We climbed into our black chariot for the night and immediately popped open the bottle of wine chilling in the fully stocked limousine bar. Off we went. Where to, only I and the limo driver knew!
First stop was wine tasting in the city at a very quaint and homey Wine and Culinary Arts Center downtown. We each had 3 tastes of wine lined up in front of us along with a meat and cheese platter. We took our time sampling the the various cheeses and wines. My favorite was the white but Mj liked one of the reds. When we were ready to go we called our driver. I like the way that sounds!! And we were off to dinner at another location carefully selected by me. I considered numerous restaurants for our dinner. I checked out menus online. I read reviews-which hardly ever helps because there are always conflicting ones. I had chosen a place downtown but he had just went out there the night before so I wanted us to go somewhere different. A co worker had given me a pack of cards with restaurant coupons and I looked through the stack one more time just hours before we left and decided that one of those looked perfect.
I was immediately pleased when we walked into the cozy restaurant which was a cross between a swanky downtown lounge and a sports bar. We were seated right away at a white leather booth by the window facing about 3 flat screen TV's. Mj immediately found a crab cake appetizer and a seafood pasta dish he liked and it didn't take me long to settle on a cheeseburger and fries-calories be damned. The combination of feeling like a VIP seeing as how I have a driver and all, being deliriously happy to be out with my man, and being more then half way to buzzed apparently went straight to my head. Despite the fact that I can't remember the last time I ordered a burger or fries in a restaurant I knew right away that it's exactly what I needed to really live it up. We both enjoyed our meal but there were doggy bags for both of us on the way out. Oh, and did I mention dessert? Only my favorite chocolate molten lava cake with vanilla ice cream. I'd gone off to the ladies room and came back to find out that Mj knew just what to order. We each grabbed a spoon and dug in. It couldn't have been a more perfect meal. Go me for picking what turned out to be the perfect restaurant.
To cap off the night I had the driver take us to the beach which was about 15 minutes from the restaurant. We held hands as we walked along the sidewalk over looking the water and watched the white waves stand out against the black night as they crashed against the dark shadowy rocks that we could barely make out. The otters on the beach looked more like clumps of seaweed against the sand until Mj pointed out to me one that was moving. Inching it's way slowly across the sand as all of the others slept. I wondered if that one had insomnia! We have been there twice for daytime picnics but it was something different to be there at night.
We made our way back to the limo and enjoyed a mixed drink on the ride back home. Mj is such an amazing guy and he is so good to me. He told me what a great time he had and that I did a great job of planning our night out and that is exactly what I was hoping for. I really wanted to wine and dine him as he has so often done for me. I've been agonizing over money lately, but once we were on our way out that night none of that mattered to me. I was so glad to be there with him and I just wanted us to have a good time. It made me happy that I could do something special for him and for us. We have waited a long time to be together and it's been one year since we decided that we wanted to be together forever. This was a great way to celebrate. Cheers to us....and to more fun times ahead of us.
I am Thankful
11.27.2009
I may not always have everything I want but I certainly have the things that I need and this is what I am thankful for:
It was a nice yet simple and relaxing thanksgiving. I really just wanted us all to enjoy the day and each other. I am very thankful because that's exactly what we did.
- My wonderful friends and family.
- My fiance is home, and just in time for the holidays.
- I have a stable job with benefits, especially at a time when so many don't.
- I am healthy.
- I have some great things to look forward to next year.
I have been so extremely stressed out lately and it's so easy to loose sight of what is important at times like that. Now that Mj is here I am feeling better already. When I am alone I tend to over think everything and for me that is not such a good thing.
It was not only Thanksgiving but our 1 year anniversary. One year ago today we decided to spend the rest of our lives together. He got me the most beautiful diamond earrings and a really sweet card. I told him he had a $50 limit but did he listen? Nope!! We haven't really been doing a whole lot but have been just enjoying spending time together. I have a super special night on the town planned for Saturday that he knows absolutely nothing about. It'll be a nice surprise and my gift to him for just being such a great guy and to celebrate his homecoming.
We spent thanksgiving at my parent's house which is just a 45 minute drive away. We walked in the door just as my dad was opening it and were greeted by my mom shortly thereafter. She had a bunch of pre dinner snacks nicely displayed on a side table. We were starving of course so we started snacking and watching football while my mom finished up dinner. My aunt and uncle came over and it was time to dig in. I got a little bit of everything I wanted and didn't pay too much attention to every bite which was nice. I just enjoyed it. After I helped my mom clean up the kitchen we watched a movie with my parents. They were snuggled up together on the recliner while Mj and I snuggled up on the couch. My parents just celebrated their 36 year anniversary themselves and I hope that Mj and I are still as in love as they 3 decades from now.
He's Finally Coming Home
11.21.2009
I will be going to pick Mj up from the airport tomorrow and I still don't really believe that he is coming home. This time last year he was working non stop and gone for most of December getting ready for his deployment. We got engaged, had Thanksgiving, Christmas and then he was gone. It's been such a long time coming but almost a year later he is finally coming home for good. I am so excited that we are finally going to get to actually be together. I have missed him so much. It's been way too long.
Four years nine months of living alone and eleven months without my fiance is coming to an end. Tomorrow his arms will be around me again and I already know it's been well worth the wait.
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