You'd better not have any secrets from your significant other when you go into a meeting to discuss a home loan. If there was anything about your credit, income, debts, bank accounts or finances that you were keeping on the down low it will be exposed with a quickness to your significant other and some random stranger who will punch your digits into a computer and decide your fate.
In our case, there are no secrets but it is kind of odd to be sitting there so exposed. Things that you may not normally talk about even with people you are very close to is fodder for discussion. Nothing is off limits. Income, job title, bank account balances, who you owe, and what you owe. You can't run and you can't hide.
You may have an idea about what kind of house you want but as you divulge all of your financial matters you are about to find out what kind of house you can get.
Gone are the days where you could walk in there unemployed and be approved for $500,000. The banks actually seem to care about whether or not you can actually make your mortgage payment or not now. We went in there hoping for a certain amount and it turns out we may not quite get that but we are hopefully still going to be in a good position to find something decent within our budget. That is actually OK by me. I am fine with being "forced" into a house that we can afford rather then being ushered into something that may overextend us. From the get go that has always been my primary concern. I want a nice house but I am not willing to push the limits of our monthly income to get it. If that means we get a little bit less house then so be it. We will make it our own, be together, and be much better off in the long run by playing it safe.
We actually got pre approved already by our bank for exactly what we wanted but this home lending service works with the real estate agent we are hoping can get us into a foreclosure and he requires that we at least get pre approved with his preferred lender.
We have great credit and few debts. I wish I earned more money. Don't we all? There is no point in playing the blame game but I know that would help A LOT. I regret that I already own a property which will count against me with a lender.
What I regret even more then that is an old student loan debt that I co signed on for my Ex Husband. It's this black cloud over my head that won't go away. I hate it that even in divorce he is still dragging me down. I take pride in my credit and I hate that what happens to it is not 100% in my control. I paid my student loan debts off but I still have his lurking in the shadows of my credit report. If I had been smart I would have insisted on him figuring out a way to refinance and get my name off before finalizing the divorce. Lesson learned the hard way on that one. Don't EVER co-sign for anyone on anything. Just don't.
We won't have any problem getting a home loan. It's just a matter of how much.
We Don't Have to Commute
1.13.2010
It's a darn good thing the fate of where we intend to buy a house and live for the next chunk of our lives didn't depend on me getting a new job. If it did I am not exactly sure how that would have turned out. But it just so happens the burden of such a task rested on Mj who thus far has never had any problem landing awesome jobs. He did it again. My little hot shot found a new job and just in the nick of time. Just when we really needed to figure out the work situation so that we could begin some serious house hunting.
He says the whole situation was stressing him out a bit. Not that I could even tell the cool cucumber that he is. Him stressing looks no different then usual while I am prone to mini breakdowns. I so needed someone like him to balance me out.
The job he left when he went overseas for Eleven months is about 158 miles away. That is about a two hour and 10 minute commute without traffic. Which of course would never happen so it would probably take close to 3 hours. Impossible!! Crazy. I mean, how many years of your life will a commute like that take away? Not to mention the money spent on gas. We couldn't move way up there because the cost of living is way too high and then of course I would have to find another job. So, to compensate our original plan was to move about 45 miles North which would then mean we were both commuting although mine would not have been as far. We would have been closer to my family but further from both our friends and my work. We really love being where we are right now and it was a bummer to think we'd have to leave. We did NOT want to do that but there weren't really too many other options until Mj ran out and got himself another job.
We will both be working in the same area now. Close enough that we could even meet for lunch or carpool if we wanted to.
I was so excited and proud of him when he called me with the news yesterday. It pretty much solved all of our immediate problems and is allowing us to take the next step in house hunting. Turns out his company actually eliminated his position while he was gone. Worst case scenario he would have collected unemployment and job searched or taken this other independent contractor position he was offered. But the bottom line is no job, no mortgage loan, no house and now we don't have to worry about that. Win-win because provided the company doesn't find another position for him by Tuesday not only have they been paying him the whole time he's been gone but now they will have to pay a severance which is just fine because he already found a closer job.
To celebrate last night, I brought home Strawberries with Dolce Frutti chocolate sauce and champagne. The chocolate hardens as it sits so you can make your own Chocolate covered strawberries. We ate as we dipped them but you have to be careful because the chocolate gets too hard to dip. Next time we'll dip them all then eat.
He says the whole situation was stressing him out a bit. Not that I could even tell the cool cucumber that he is. Him stressing looks no different then usual while I am prone to mini breakdowns. I so needed someone like him to balance me out.
While we jumped right into wedding planning when he came home we had to wait on the house hunting until this job thing was sorted out. We are getting that much closer to getting out of this tiny studio and Mj being able to get all of his things out of storage. In fact, we just got back from the home loan office not too long ago.
Everything seems to be falling into place. Exactly where we want it to be.
Everything seems to be falling into place. Exactly where we want it to be.
Hey Mr. DJ
We really lucked out with our DJ. Not only are we getting a great deal but Ralph and Jeremiah were referrals and seem like really nice and professional guys.
At the end of last year a girlfriend of mine hosted a small bridal event at a hair salon. She makes custom bridal jewelry (really beautiful by the way but not in my budget). Mj was still out of the country at the time but I went anyways to support my friend and gathered some information from some of the vendors. As soon as I got my date I called them up and luckily they were available. The prices they quote on their website are much higher then what we are getting.
Mj and I met them at Starbucks last night. They are only charging us $500 for the first hour and $50 for each additional hour. They are going to get there nice and early and not charge for set up. They are also willing to play for about 30 minutes after free of charge. We need them for 5 hours so that is a total of $550 for basic package and lighting which is basically a steal considering that some of the other prices I've seen range from $600's to $1,000's. They did offer us up lighting and our name in lights on the dance floor at an additional charge. Having our names displayed in lights would be a really nice effect and make me feel a little bit like a star but I don't think we will pay extra for that. I am considering the up lighting though. They said it helps set the mood and darken the area a bit which might get more people on the dance floor which means more fun for everyone.
You have to be careful if you are getting a low price because sometimes you get what you pay for but my girlfriend has basically vouched for them by having them at their event so I feel comfortable with them. We got another huge packet in addition to the one we already got from our venue so that means more homework! We have to come up with some must play songs and sort out a timeline for announcements etc.
Whoo hoo! I am under budget on my DJ. I couldn't be more happy about that. Next vendor to tackle: The all important photographer. I found 3 online that are in our price range, available and with portfolio's that I like so I will be making some decisions about that this week.
At the end of last year a girlfriend of mine hosted a small bridal event at a hair salon. She makes custom bridal jewelry (really beautiful by the way but not in my budget). Mj was still out of the country at the time but I went anyways to support my friend and gathered some information from some of the vendors. As soon as I got my date I called them up and luckily they were available. The prices they quote on their website are much higher then what we are getting.
Mj and I met them at Starbucks last night. They are only charging us $500 for the first hour and $50 for each additional hour. They are going to get there nice and early and not charge for set up. They are also willing to play for about 30 minutes after free of charge. We need them for 5 hours so that is a total of $550 for basic package and lighting which is basically a steal considering that some of the other prices I've seen range from $600's to $1,000's. They did offer us up lighting and our name in lights on the dance floor at an additional charge. Having our names displayed in lights would be a really nice effect and make me feel a little bit like a star but I don't think we will pay extra for that. I am considering the up lighting though. They said it helps set the mood and darken the area a bit which might get more people on the dance floor which means more fun for everyone.
You have to be careful if you are getting a low price because sometimes you get what you pay for but my girlfriend has basically vouched for them by having them at their event so I feel comfortable with them. We got another huge packet in addition to the one we already got from our venue so that means more homework! We have to come up with some must play songs and sort out a timeline for announcements etc.
Whoo hoo! I am under budget on my DJ. I couldn't be more happy about that. Next vendor to tackle: The all important photographer. I found 3 online that are in our price range, available and with portfolio's that I like so I will be making some decisions about that this week.
What Color Should I Be?
1.12.2010
I am really struggling with what colors I want to have for my wedding. Me being the practical person that I am really want my bridesmaids to have a dress that they will actually be able to wear again for some other occasion. It feels strange even talking about bridesmaid dresses at all. When this whole concept of planning a wedding started I was only planning on having my two sisters in it and was just going to have them buy dresses on their own in a certain color or basic black or even wear something they already had in their closet if it was appropriate. Then, as the wedding machine rolled along I started to feel like I really wanted my oldest friends to be a part of it also. The number of bridesmaids has grown to 3-5 depending on availability. I didn't want to make a big to do about everything but now it just makes more sense to coordinate.
I love pink. It is absolutely my favorite color. But how will Mj's groomsmen feel about wearing pink accents on their tux's? I already know Mj doesn't want to wear any pink but that's OK because he can be in black and white. The pink bridesmaid dresses look funny online on the David's Bridal website. Almost garish. Making me think it might be better to go with black and maybe do a pink sash to compliment the dresses. Should my color just be pink or pink and black? Black and white is always so classic and so beautiful but I feel like I want that splash of color in there too. I thought about jade green at first because I know the drapes in the reception room are going to be that color and thought about putting brown with it but brown just seems so drab. Other then the bridesmaid dresses I am not sure how else I can coordinate my "color" into the wedding anyhow. Our wedding package includes white or off white linens for the table and one choice of colored napkin. The chairs are gold ballroom style which I have decided not to cover in order to cut costs considering that they are decent chairs although white would be a better color. I still haven't decided on centerpieces yet. Flowers are so expensive that I am trying to come up with some other alternative that might incorporate whatever color I choose.
I need to see and try on the bridesmaid dresses myself. If I don't think the color and the dress is cute and re wearable then I don't want to put my bridesmaids in it. It will also make it easier for me to decide on invitations once I get the colors nailed down.
Guess I better get my butt over to David's Bridal after all and get on with the whole wedding dress shopping thing while they are still having their sale. I was trying to put it off for financial reasons but I don't know when their next sale will be and I don't want to find myself pushing it too close. It will also help me nail down my colors which will help me make decisions about everything else.
Who ever thought deciding on a simple color could be so complicated? That's wedding planning for ya.
I love pink. It is absolutely my favorite color. But how will Mj's groomsmen feel about wearing pink accents on their tux's? I already know Mj doesn't want to wear any pink but that's OK because he can be in black and white. The pink bridesmaid dresses look funny online on the David's Bridal website. Almost garish. Making me think it might be better to go with black and maybe do a pink sash to compliment the dresses. Should my color just be pink or pink and black? Black and white is always so classic and so beautiful but I feel like I want that splash of color in there too. I thought about jade green at first because I know the drapes in the reception room are going to be that color and thought about putting brown with it but brown just seems so drab. Other then the bridesmaid dresses I am not sure how else I can coordinate my "color" into the wedding anyhow. Our wedding package includes white or off white linens for the table and one choice of colored napkin. The chairs are gold ballroom style which I have decided not to cover in order to cut costs considering that they are decent chairs although white would be a better color. I still haven't decided on centerpieces yet. Flowers are so expensive that I am trying to come up with some other alternative that might incorporate whatever color I choose.
I need to see and try on the bridesmaid dresses myself. If I don't think the color and the dress is cute and re wearable then I don't want to put my bridesmaids in it. It will also make it easier for me to decide on invitations once I get the colors nailed down.
Guess I better get my butt over to David's Bridal after all and get on with the whole wedding dress shopping thing while they are still having their sale. I was trying to put it off for financial reasons but I don't know when their next sale will be and I don't want to find myself pushing it too close. It will also help me nail down my colors which will help me make decisions about everything else.
Who ever thought deciding on a simple color could be so complicated? That's wedding planning for ya.
Cuddle Time Interrupted
1.10.2010
I was almost late for work Friday morning. I am generally not all that thrilled about getting out of bed at 6:25 am no matter how much sleep I got but what made it so difficult that morning was Mj. As soon as my alarm went off and I turned to the right to hit snooze his arms encircled me and he rested his cheek on my back in such a cozy way that I smiled to myself and sighed as I snuggled back under the covers.
There it goes again. That darn alarm. Why won't it leave us alone? I hit snooze again for the second time which is normal. When it went off again this is normally the point where no matter how good it feels to be cuddled up I force myself to get out of bed because although I should get out of bed at 2 snoozes I haven't been able to get out of bed any sooner then 3 for a long time and that is REALLY pushing it. For some reason I ignored the voice of reason that told me if I didn't get out of bed RIGHT THIS MINUTE I was going to be late.
I enjoyed every last extra minute I got to stay in bed with Mj's warm arms around me. He is the best cuddler. I was just so comfortable and it felt so perfect to be right there in that moment that I didn't want to move. After that 4th snooze I finally disentangled myself from those amazing arms and threw my reluctant legs over the side of the bed to start my morning routine. I was rushing which I hate and just barely made it to work in time but it was worth it.
I hear so many women complain that their husband doesn't show them affection. He won't hold their hand and doesn't like to cuddle or hug. I am so glad I don't have that problem. I crave that physical affirmation of love and Mj has no problem with giving it to me.
That's just one more reason why I love the weekends. Not only do I NOT have to be forced out of bed by some annoying alarm clock but I get to cuddle as much as I want.
Are Photos On Wedding Invites Lame?
1.08.2010
Is it lame to put a couple picture on your wedding invitation? I am searching the Internet for low cost wedding invitations and come across a few websites that give you the option of uploading a picture. I googled "low cost wedding invitations" and Vista Print came up near the top. You can order everything in increments of 10 which is nice and customize your order online. I only saw one fold over design. The envelopes are not included but they are so inexpensive that even after you add on a matching envelope you can still get 100 for as low as $80 with the sale they have going. I don't know how long the sale is going to last or if they are always that low. I also heard about Double Trouble Designs from another blogger. Their lowest price is: $150 for 100 plus a $40 design fee. Their designs are really cute and modern. 1st Class Wedding Invitations offers quality outer and inner envelopes and have a wide range of prices from $.86 cents to $4.50 each (based on a 100 order) with some great designs that can be ordered in increments of 25. The less you order the higher the price-gets which in some cases makes it not such a good deal. In all cases the RSVP portion is an additional cost.
People keep asking me what my colors are and as I started looking at invitations I started to feel like I should know my colors before I select the invites so that they can match. On the other hand, "Who really cares?" It is such a minor detail that it probably won't matter too much one way or another although I know that some brides will go to great lengths to coordinate every single little detail.
Just last week we received a beautifully embossed wedding invitation that opened up into 3 different panels that were artfully closed together by a pretty satin ribbon. "There will be no ribbons on our invitations." I immediately thought. Namely because those ribbons probably aren't cheap. On the other hand I don't want my invitations to be tacky. It should not look like I went to Cheap Invitations R Us. It doesn't need to be formal but I still want it to convey the elegance of our event.
I really want to get the wording on the RSVP just right too. I want it to be clear without sounding rude that the invite is extended to invited guests only. If your name is not on the invitation then you were not invited and you can't bring so and so if the plus one we have named on the invitation can't come. This means I should probably get an inner envelope aside from the outer one that will be addressed, mailed and probably thrown away, so that I can write the guest name on the outside of something they might hang onto. I also want names indicated on the RSVP so that not only do I know numbers but I will also have the name of each attending guest to write on name cards for the reception.
I can't believe that people pay into the $400's for 100 invitations. OK, I take that back. I can believe it but it's not something I plan on doing. Invitation Consultants has some really pretty invitations and some designs are as low as $104 for $100 that include outer envelopes only but most of them are way too pricey for me. What I did find useful is their nice selection of unique and classic wording idea's for invitations and RSVP's.
I'll keep searching for now and hopefully come up with something soon. I did not do save the dates because I have only started planning 6 months in advance. I am just going to spread the word right now by word of mouth and e mail.
According to About.com
Question: How far in advance should I address and send wedding invitations?
Answer: You should probably start to address your wedding invitations three months before the wedding. (If you have a calligrapher, check with them four months before the wedding as to when they need your guest list and invitations.) Ideally, wedding invitations are sent 8 weeks before the wedding – allowing guests several weeks to make travel arrangements and arrange time off from work if necessary, before sending them back to you.
Remember, you'll need to get them back in advance so you can start labeling place cards, make final head counts, etc. Ask for an RSVP date 3 weeks before your wedding, if you sent them on time. At a minimum, send them out six weeks in advance, and set an RSVP date of 2 weeks before the wedding.
My wedding date is July 10. I absolutely do not have a calligrapher!! People do that?!? Since I didn't do save the dates and a lot of guests will have to travel in order to come I am going to send the invitations out March 1st and request RSVP by June 1st to try to accommodate the inevitable stragglers that won't reply by the date I've asked.
I've got some time to make a final decision. If I decide to go with Vista Print I HOPE that they still have those low prices when I am ready to order. If they don't this frugal bride is gonna be mad.
People keep asking me what my colors are and as I started looking at invitations I started to feel like I should know my colors before I select the invites so that they can match. On the other hand, "Who really cares?" It is such a minor detail that it probably won't matter too much one way or another although I know that some brides will go to great lengths to coordinate every single little detail.
Just last week we received a beautifully embossed wedding invitation that opened up into 3 different panels that were artfully closed together by a pretty satin ribbon. "There will be no ribbons on our invitations." I immediately thought. Namely because those ribbons probably aren't cheap. On the other hand I don't want my invitations to be tacky. It should not look like I went to Cheap Invitations R Us. It doesn't need to be formal but I still want it to convey the elegance of our event.
I really want to get the wording on the RSVP just right too. I want it to be clear without sounding rude that the invite is extended to invited guests only. If your name is not on the invitation then you were not invited and you can't bring so and so if the plus one we have named on the invitation can't come. This means I should probably get an inner envelope aside from the outer one that will be addressed, mailed and probably thrown away, so that I can write the guest name on the outside of something they might hang onto. I also want names indicated on the RSVP so that not only do I know numbers but I will also have the name of each attending guest to write on name cards for the reception.
I can't believe that people pay into the $400's for 100 invitations. OK, I take that back. I can believe it but it's not something I plan on doing. Invitation Consultants has some really pretty invitations and some designs are as low as $104 for $100 that include outer envelopes only but most of them are way too pricey for me. What I did find useful is their nice selection of unique and classic wording idea's for invitations and RSVP's.
I'll keep searching for now and hopefully come up with something soon. I did not do save the dates because I have only started planning 6 months in advance. I am just going to spread the word right now by word of mouth and e mail.
According to About.com
Question: How far in advance should I address and send wedding invitations?
Answer: You should probably start to address your wedding invitations three months before the wedding. (If you have a calligrapher, check with them four months before the wedding as to when they need your guest list and invitations.) Ideally, wedding invitations are sent 8 weeks before the wedding – allowing guests several weeks to make travel arrangements and arrange time off from work if necessary, before sending them back to you.
Remember, you'll need to get them back in advance so you can start labeling place cards, make final head counts, etc. Ask for an RSVP date 3 weeks before your wedding, if you sent them on time. At a minimum, send them out six weeks in advance, and set an RSVP date of 2 weeks before the wedding.
My wedding date is July 10. I absolutely do not have a calligrapher!! People do that?!? Since I didn't do save the dates and a lot of guests will have to travel in order to come I am going to send the invitations out March 1st and request RSVP by June 1st to try to accommodate the inevitable stragglers that won't reply by the date I've asked.
I've got some time to make a final decision. If I decide to go with Vista Print I HOPE that they still have those low prices when I am ready to order. If they don't this frugal bride is gonna be mad.
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