How I Became A Three Ring Bride

People used to ask me why I had an engagement ring when I wasn't engaged and a wedding band when I wasn't married.  I suppose I would have wondered the same thing.  It wasn't planned.  It's just the way it turned out.

We didn't exactly do the ring thing the traditional way. I met Mj for the first time on March 15th 2008.  On June 29th he gave me a promise ring big fat diamond engagement ring look alike. This was not your typical one millionth of a carat promise ring that one might imagine and I'm not even sure that people do that anymore. But he did. He said that he knew we weren't ready to get married yet but he wanted the ring to be a show of his commitment to me and the relationship. My heart about melted and I have to say I was flattered, surprised, and impressed that he was gutsy enough to do that because it was so early on in our relationship. He may be four years younger then me but he was showing me that he wasn't just some young guy.  He was for real.  I was still at the phase where I knew he was special and I knew I was in love but I hadn't fully surrendered to the relationship yet mostly out of fear and some personal hang ups of my own. I refused to let it scare me off even though part of me wanted to run for the hills and accepted it considering myself lucky to be with someone that would do such a thing.

Besides, I couldn't say no to a ring that looks exactly like the one I'd always dreamed about having. It is just my style. I have never liked yellow gold and wore white even back in the days when yellow gold was most popular.  It's a good size without being too big.  I love it's elegance and simplicity. I love the sparkly diamonds on the side and the square shape and the way it sits up and...and well I love everything about it.

 

Ring #1 and #2
I was happier then I'd ever been in my life and had this incredible feeling of walking on clouds all the time.  Things just flowed with us.  We fit together in so many ways that being with him was always effortless and easy.  I knew without a doubt that I had finally met my soul mate and it felt great.  Then in August comes the crushing news that he would be deployed for almost a year overseas.  In November he sent me a text message that said "let's elope."  I guess you could call that his proposal!  We knew that we wanted to get married and we decided that we would have the wedding....AFTER he got back.  He commemorated our engagement with a diamond wedding band.  We WANTED to get married in 2009 but he was to be gone for most of that year so we had to wait but as soon as he got back we started planning for this year.

I got the band sautered onto the engagement promise ring when he bought me the third ring a couple weeks ago.  I also had them re coated so they would be all shiny and new for the big day.   I wish I'd sautered them a long time ago.  I have skinny fingers and big knuckles so my ring size is bigger then my actual finger causing the rings to twist around taking away from the beauty of the set.  Now, the diamonds are always lined up and you can't even really tell it's sautered.  Not one to procrastinate I got his ring in 2008 and he's been waiting all this time to be able to wear it. It's a pretty and simple white gold band with a ring of brushed white gold down the center.  He didn't want diamonds.  Needless to say I got off pretty easy. 

I told him he didn't have to get me wedding band #2/ring #3 when we had the wedding but he really wanted to. I was worried that it would be too much bling, too much money right now, and I really do love my rings just the way they are but he insisted. And I let him. When it comes down to it I really love diamonds and I am not gonna argue too much about getting more of them. When I put all three of them on they really stand out and look so brilliant and beautiful. I never get tired of looking at diamonds and I don't see myself ever getting tired of looking at these rings. I have exactly what I want. I certainly won't feel the need to "upgrade" on our 10 year anniversary.

Ring #3

So, that is how I came to be a three ring bride with triple ring bling.  I got an engagement ring as a promise, a wedding band to engage me, and another wedding band to tie the knot.  I know none of this is about the ring.  I would be with him and marrying him even if he couldn't afford to get me anything at all.  I am marrying the man not the ring afterall, but it sure is nice to have rings you will love and treasure forever from the one you love and want to BE with forever that symbolizes your foreverness [Yes, I made that word up].  I've been wearing two stunning rings for going on two years and Mj still hasn't gotten to wear his one.  But very soon we will both be wearing them together.

Oh yeah...I'm getting Married Next Month

Right about Wednesday of last week it occurred to me.  Oh yeah, I have a wedding to finish planning. Somewhere in the middle of trying to close on a house, move, and furnish said house wedding planning got put on the back burner.  But, I am back in full wedding planning mode with as dash of house business on the side.  We still need to make sure that the house is ready to accommodate our out of town wedding guests plus, I'm anxious to get our house together the way I want it.

The first thing I did is write out our wedding ceremony script.  A bridesmaid's husband will be our officiant.  As an "officiant virgin" he has no idea what to do so it's up to us to get everything mapped out for him.  I cut and pasted wording from a variety of different websites and added some of my own writing to round it out.  I want the words to be meaningful and make a statement about love and relationships-the very reason we are standing there in the first place.  I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out.  Mj and I will each write our own vows to each other which we won't hear until the moment we say them at our wedding. 

Next, I ordered our black silk flower petals and our wedding guest favors from efavormart.com.  Originally, I was going to do bookmarks but when I saw these cute little pink personalized boxes for $39.99 I decided to get them instead.  I found a  5 pound bag of pink candy hearts to fill them with from candywarehouse.com for $19.50 for a grand totoal of $60.00.  There are 1,100 pieces per pound so I'm thinking that will be PLENTY.  The 500 black silk flower petals were only $4.99 and they will be used to scatter on tables around our centerpieces.  I already bought some pink one's at Michael's along with larger good sized round vases, LED lights, and pink stones I needed for my DIY centerpieces.  Aside from the carnations those are ready to go and should run me about $80 dollars total.  I'm glad I took the time to do most of my research on what I would need months ago because now as we get closer to crunch time all of the information I need is right there waiting for me.

Not only do we feed guests at our wedding we also have to feed folks the night before after our rehearsal so I'm looking for rehearsal dinner locations that won't break the bank. We are going to have to limit numbers.  I would like to include everyone who comes from out of town but that may not financially feasible so we will have to see how we can work that out.  I am definitely looking for something casual and inexpensive.  We can save the formalities for the day of.

I picked up two very important items as well.  My dress and my rings.  The dress still fits after alterations which is a good thing and I still love it as much as I did the day I picked it out.  Actually, I wish it were just a little bit tighter.  I am nervous about being in a strapless and feeling the need to tug it up all night.   I am wearing a regular strapless bra but I might shop around for some other options.  It's nice to have a place to actually put this massive dress now that we have extra closets.  And my rings are beautiful!  All three of them.

I will be scrambling this week trying to track down black pin on flowers for my bridesmaids to wear on their dresses from David's Bridal.  I figured I would just get them and it turns out they are pretty scarce and if David's orders it I won't have them until after the wedding!  My bridesmaid from Georgia tracked one down there and now I just have three to go.  I also need to add our officiant to our tux order since he wants to wear a tux for the ceremony.

Apparently no one is even coming to this little shin dig I've been planning all year.  Tracking down RSVP's is also on my to do list for the week.  I am back into wedding planning mode and ready to take it all the way to the finish line which incidentally is IN 34 DAYS.  Time really snuck up on me but I'm in a good place to pick up right where I left off and get things done.

The Minimalist Bride

There are a lot of things I'm not doing for my wedding.  We aren't doing engagement photos. There will be no out of town bags, petal tosses, programs, menu cards, bathroom baskets, or monograms just to name a few.  But, I will spring for chair covers to liven up our venue and I am hoping to host some extra alcohol for our guests.

I am now and have always been low fuss, simple, easy to please and all about business when it comes to budget. It turns out that my wedding is no exception. The invites I found online were simple yet elegant and I refused to spend more then I was comfortable with.  I started out planning on only 2 bridesmaids and having them pick their own dresses. I ended up with 4 and coordinated dresses just because ultimately I think it's much easier on everyone involved.  I was debating if we should have a rehearsal dinner but I am pretty sure I will because it will be nice for family and friends to get together and so everyone feels comfortable the day of.  I am on a mission to find a very budget friendly location.   I didn't even know if I would have a bridal shower.  Someone wants to plan a party for lil' old me?  Not that I didn't want one I just feel funny about people making a fuss over me.  I didn't go to any bridal bazaars or look at bridal magazines.  I picked out my wedding dress in 2 1/2 hours from one store on one day costing me under $500.  I still don't know what jewelry or shoes I'm wearing but I plan on getting a pair of flat silver sandals that I can wear after the wedding too.  If I end up wearing some pearls I already have at home that will be ok and I will probably end up at the Mac counter in a department store for make up the day of.

Don't get me wrong.  I am fully loving all of this wedding planning. Picking out invitations, designing centerpieces, deciding on colors.  I never imagined in a million years that I would get to have a traditional wedding. The full shebang with a princess dress, sit down dinner, DJ and dancing. I never thought I would be choosing colors and going to tastings. It's been absolutely a dream come true. I may not have a huge budget but I am just happy I get to do this at all.  Even without a whole lot of  extras the fact that I get to have a wedding at all is enough for me.

Every bride has a different approach.  I already know I am a frugal bride but seeing all of these little extras that others are doing got me wondering if I was a lazy and boring bride too. After thinking about it for a moment I have decided I am not. I am just doing what comes naturally to me. I can be creative and am having a great time designing my centerpieces-which I think just so happens to be my only DIY project.  Did you know you can have your wedding vows professional written for you at everaftervows.com for about $150? We are having a friend perform the ceremony.  I plan on mapping out the entire ceremony script and we will write our own vows. There will be no sand ceremonies or musical numbers involved.  There are tons of potentially cool and creative things that could be done that I just don't feel are necessary.  I don't doubt that my wedding will still be beautiful and elegant just the way I envision it just because I don't have a million DIY projects.

My natural tendency is to go basic and maybe throw in a few extra frills and thrills depending on budget and desire. That seems to be exactly what I seem to be doing with my wedding. Not only am I a frugalista apparently I am a minimalista too.

House Work

What a busy week it's been.  All moved in so it's appliance time.  We chose an LG and got 10% off at Home Depot. Our refrigerator was the first appliance to be delivered on Wednesday.  We love the bottom freezer design and the fact that we no longer have to constantly buy water because it's filtered and comes straight out of our pipes through the refrigerator.  I have no idea how that happens but I am just glad that it does. 

Then, we finally decided on a washer/dryer which for me was the hardest.  I over researched to the point where I had no clue what to do anymore.  Installation charges vs warranty and delivery fees vs shipping charges and on and on.  I wanted the best deal and the best product but on the same brand one review would say it broke down the first day and another would say it was the best thing that ever happened to them.  I was over it and we really had a lot of laundry piled up so last week on my lunch break we met up at Sears and bought Whirlpools in less then an hour.  We got 10% off for using my Sears Card.  They were delivered on Thursday.  They are Energy Star certified and the washer is supposed to cut down on our water bill.  We qualify for a $100 mail in rebate and I think they are pretty darn cute too!

Whirlpool Duet

Saturday morning we were out of the house by 9:30 am taking stuff to goodwill and finally going grocery shopping after months of getting by on what we had.  Our bedroom set, mattress, and sectional that we picked out a couple weeks ago were delivered that afternoon.  We basically ordered out of a catalog in the store and hadn't actually seen the bedroom set in person and we were so pleased when we finally saw it.  It is real wood and you can see the quality.  It was my bright idea to get white and it turned out to be a good one.

We got this sectional in "Oyster."  We LOVE the modern look to it.  I am hoping it will give me some inspiration on how to decorate the downstairs.

I think there is a very good chance that our neighbors have seen me naked so it's great that we have also ordered window coverings. We had two companies come out and do quotes and went with the one that was cheap enough to allow us to do almost the whole house.  They won't be here for about 2 weeks.  This house has lots of windows which is nice but they are even in places you wouldn't expect like 2 in the laundry room and one in the closet.  There are 12 upstairs and 7 downstairs.  We are doing all blinds and I'll have to come up with window treatments only for the sliding door and kitchen window downstairs.  After that it was out for some more errands.  We got our paint supplies at Lowe's and went hunting for a bedspread.  We got an Eastern European King size bed and apparently it's next to impossible to find that size in the stores.  After Penny's and Macy's we gave into hunger and took a break.

We did something we haven't done in a long time.  Ate in the food court at the mall.  After being busy ALL DAY we were exhausted and hungry, which seems to be the theme of the week.  We happily took a break from shopping for some good old fashioned food court junk food.  Sbarro's Pizza to be exact.  After refueling we went to Walmart where we managed to find some king sized sheets [with a high enough thread count to satisfy Mj] to sleep on for the night.  The bedspread will have to wait.

My Very Own Sexy Pastry Chef

Mj is crazy a dedicated cook and he insisted that he make his Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake from scratch that night even though we didn't get home until after 9pm.  He said he'd do it within the first week of moving in and so he did.  The very first thing ever cooked in our new house was that and he was up until 2 am doing it.  I was up too of course since I can't seem to stop myself from working on organizing and doing things around the house.

So what's next?  Painting of course.  That project consumed our entire Sunday.  Mom was kind enough to come down and help.  She was our very first guest.   Here she is walking in the door.  She was so excited to be here and see us IN our house for the first time.  We immediately put her to work.  That's how we treat our guests around here apparently!!

Maybe I was rushing things by trying to paint so soon after we moved in but I really wanted to get it over with and thought it would be good to take advantage of the 3 day weekend.  I felt the longer we waited the less likely we would be to get it done.  I told Mj a week ago that we'd be doing this.  He was surprised but took the news well and went along with it.  We started around 10 am with taping everything off and laying down plastic.  

Mom came around 12 pm and we went to Home Depot to get the paint.  Our total for painting supplies was about $240.00.  Mj and I did a pretty good job on choosing colors.  We were right on in picking our colors for the Great Room (light green) and Master Bedroom (pale grey).  We got one set of samples and that was it but after seeing our furniture in the loft we decided brown on the walls would be too much Brown.  When mom and I went to get paint we found this great blue color and without even getting a sample we just bought the whole can and slapped it on the walls.  Luckily Mj liked it too and it turned out to be one of my favorite colors that we used.  

 We probably started actually painting around 2 and didn't finish until about 6:30 pm.  We worked so hard but it was awesome that we all just pitched in and did it together.  When you look at the finished product it is  completely worth it.  And now.  It's DONE!!  We did the loft, downstairs great room area and the master bedroom.  Anything else, I can worry about later.  Or not!

Our reward for all of our hard work was pizza and beer.  That was only just to get to Mj's homemade cake which was absolutely delicious.  He really should have saved us $500 and just made our wedding cake himself because it was better then any of the cake tastings we had.  Seriously!  I will be asking for it every year from here on out for my B day cake.  Never mind that I haven't had nor wanted a B day cake in a couple of years but this magnificent cake changes that.  It was moist, tasty, perfect and with an also from scratch Peanut Butter Mousse filling, Chocolate frosting and crushed Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on top-it was the perfect way to end a fun but long, exhausting productive day.

Home Project:  Backyard Landscaping

Moving Marathon

CLOSING
Oh boy did we ever cut it close on this move.  We were told that it's basically a two day turn around from doc signing, bank funding, and county recording that would signify close and allow us to get our keys.  We planned to move Friday and so Wednesday was to be the big day.  We waited and exchanged e mails all day with the loan processor hoping to hear from the title department that we could go and sign our closing documents only to get home and find out from Jenn at the sales office that there was no way in hell that was going to happen because they didn't even have them.  Thanks BofA for leading us on and causing us to hang onto our cell phones all day hoping and waiting for a call that was never going to come. 

Then we were told that as long as we sign docs and the bank funds they would still allow us to get our keys on Friday even if we did not officially close yet.  Thursday came and there was more waiting and several phone calls back and forth with Jenn.  FINALLY, we get the call that we can go to the title company and sign at 3pm.  We are relieved but still anxious because the bank still needed to fund and it was clear that wasn't going to happen Thursday.  We woke up at 6 am Friday morning to call and wire our closing money to escrow and then walked to U Haul to pick up our moving truck around 10:15am and started moving.  Thankfully, they allowed us to move in since they had our money even though the bank didn't actually fund us until after we moved all of our things in.

MOVING
The marathon began Thursday night when we started boxing things up.  I was so unmotivated.  The very concept of having to pack up every single thing you own and transport it to another location is so ridiculous exhausting.  I looked around at my cramped studio with all of it's stuff and it felt so impossible to accomplish such a feat.  I was glad to be moving out of there but  I hated every single second of packing. 

The words on our truck said "U Can Do It" but there were moments when it sure didn't feel like it.  Up and down the stairs.  Back and forth to the moving truck.  We did not stop until the truck was full and the condo was basically empty.  It took the two of us about 3 hours.  We drove the mile to our new house and started the whole process again but in reverse.  As we drove into our neighborhood in our big U haul I looked around in awe and sheer relief.  This is finally happening.  After all of the months of being put through the ringer and those final anxious days we finally get to live here.  And, we weren't the only ones having fun.  There were about 4 different moving trucks crammed on the street as our new neighbors were doing the same.

The unloading process was infinitely quicker then the loading process and thank goodness because we had only 1 1/2 hours to get it done and get the truck back by 3pm.  We drove it a whopping 3 miles and didn't even have to re fuel which saved a lot of money.  Once the truck was turned in we walked back to our condo and drove our fully loaded cars to the new house and kept right on working.

The place was an utter disaster with everything dumped haphazardly in the great room but I was so glad to be there.  We were finally HOME!!  We didn't stop to eat until about 8:30pm that night.  We called Pizza Hut for delivery only to find out that our development is so new that it isn't even in the system yet.  I was so hungry that I didn't care that I had to go get it even though I was completely worn out.

We worked all weekend non stop-3 days straight.  Clean the condo, run errands, organize, sort, move furniture, throw things away....it just went on and on and on.  We finally got the room cleared out so we could see the floor on Saturday night then Sunday all of Mj's things that have been in storage since 2008 arrived and we started all over again.  I was so incredibly sore.  My body ached from the soles of my feet right on up to my neck.  It was hard work BUT WE DID IT!!  I was once again struck by what a great team we make.  I believe that the way a couple handles stressful situations and hard work together is an indicator of the health of the relationship.  We know when to defer to the other on things and if he is adamant I pull back and vice versa.  We both just pitched in and worked hard.  We did what needed to be done and made decisions together effortlessly.

Monday at work was HELL!  I was exhausted, pre occupied and overall annoyed.   I couldn't focus and I was basically useless.  Today I was better rested and felt a bit more settled.  The refrigerator we picked out will be here Wednesday and we still need to order a Washer/Dryer once we can freakin' decide on a brand.  Our bedroom furniture is on back order and our sectional is still being made so I don't think we will have any of that until June.

There is still so much to do and BUY!!  But the hardest part is OVER and I'm lovin' our new house already.

Home Building Progress:  Lot 55

Home Buying Journey:  Part I Getting Pre Approved

If I Can Dream

I am under a lot of stress lately being smack dab in the middle of closing.  I am just tired of the whole process am beyond ready for it to be over already.  I feel like I've been living in limbo all year and it's really getting to me.  Buying a house AND having a wedding within the space of two months means a boatload of money is being spent and if there is one thing that's been stressing me out aside from my cramped 400 square foot studio and so much uncertainty over the house it's that.  We just spent $500 on a cake.  I still don't have a renter for my studio and so I'm considering taking on a 2nd job.  I don't even know for sure when we are getting the keys to our house and I have a moving truck scheduled for Friday.  The bank has been so slow getting our documents out for us to sign.        

So, let's just say it didn't take much to get the waterworks flowing.  I've been watching this web only show called "If I can Dream"on hulu.com.  Amanda has made a decision to leave the dream house because it's not working out for her to be there where she feels she has no control over her personal life living in a house with cameras 24/7.  When she made her announcement both she and Cara were crying and the next thing I know I was crying too.  This is not unusual considering I have been moved to tears by a 30 second Cotton commercial before.  Watching that outpouring of emotion just kinda touched a nerve in me partly because of my personal stress and partly because I found it so sad that she was literally walking away from her dream.  As one who once had a dream myself I can only imagine how difficult that must be.  It is next to impossible to make it in that industry.  For every Julia Roberts, Miley Cyrus or Megan Fox there are thousands upon thousands of talented people that couldn't make it.  She is giving up a once in a lifetime opportunity to live in a house rent free, not have to work, receive free acting classes, and support from the management team that handles all the American Idol winners.  The chance to pursue her acting dreams was handed to her on a silver platter and she chose to walk away from it.  In my opinion there must be more to the story then what she is saying that would cause her to do that.  I don't know what it's like to walk in her shoes but from the shoes I'm wearing....I think it's quite a bizarre choice and I can say with certainty that if I EVER had a chance like that I would jump at it in a heartbeat and don't think anything could make me walk away.

Crying has always been a tension reliever for me so it was good for me to just let it out.  In my darker days I used to do it A LOT and not be able to snap out of it but thankfully those days are over and I now have the ability to brush myself off and keep moving.  Today is a new day and I'm off to a good start.  I forgot to put on a bra today [no worries, they aren't that big] but other then that I'm at work and I'm getting on with it.  At the moment the only dream I have on my mind is getting those keys and becoming a homeowner with Mj.  There is still a possibility that we can sign docs today, close and have our keys by Friday so we can move.  I'm just waiting ANXIOUSLY for that call from escrow.