She's Having A Baby Alright

We got some awesome news last week. My sister will not be going to Vegas after all. She will be staying right here in So Cal! The military screwed up and when her hubby went to check in he was told, "You aren't going to Vegas." All of their things had already been shipped out there and now they have to get those back as soon as they figure out where they're going to live. Yes, it kind of threw them for a loop but I am really glad she is going to be so close.

Me and my big sis

Her baby shower was Sunday at my mom's house and it turned out really nice. We spent most of the time outside and basked in the perfect 72 degree weather. She got tons of gifts and hung out with some friends she hasn't seen in a while. My mom invited her friends from work and a few of my friends came. When I got home Mj asked me why I didn't bring him any food and I told him the truth. "We ate it ALL." And we enjoyed every bit.  I can't believe that this tiny little person who can't talk, walk or even sit up needs so many things!!! She's been wanting this for a long time and is so happy and I am happy for her.  And of course my mom is thrilled that one of us is finally going to give her a grandchild.

Presents!!

I think babies are cute and precious and all that good stuff but I am not really a "baby person." They give me a maternal pang when I see them and hold them but for the most part it usually ends right there. I've never wanted to baby sit or had an instinctive desire to be a mother for that matter.  I'm not sure if I'll ever have one of my own, but in about a week I will have a nephew which is totally new to me. I've not had too many babies in my life since my little sis stopped being a baby a long time ago so it will be interesting to see how how that's going to feel.

Next Tuesday is the big day and I'm so glad it's not me giving birth. I'm sort of using my sister as a "test case."   What a difficult pregnancy it's been for her from trying to get pregnant in the first place, to fibroid complications to gestational diabetes.  She is more then READY to get this kid out.  After getting the inside scoop from someone who shares my genes and interacting with a baby so closely related to me, if I find that this whole baby business seems to be way too much then it could really help me make up my mind.   It might make me want to have a baby less then I do right now OR there is that slim possibility that it could have the opposite effect.   In which case I'd then have to convince my husband and that would be even harder then convincing me. 

Stay Home and Bake Cookies

We were supposed to go to K and A's house for dinner on Saturday night but they cancelled. I love this couple. We were over at their house for dinner just last Sunday and I had a really good time but my first thought was, "Yeah, a free day AND night!!" It seems that as of late those have been hard to come by for us. Every Sat and Sun has been filled with social activities and that can get tiresome for a homebody such as myself. It leaves me no free time to relax let alone any time to clean house or take care of business. When they decided they would just go out to dinner instead of doing dinner in Mj had barely finished telling me and I was already saying, "I'm not going." We are probably going to over there next weekend, I have a baby shower on Sunday and I had already made up my mind that this would be a day of no plans and that was that. Mj could have gone without me but I'm glad he didn't.

Chocolate Chip

I got to spend Saturday cleaning and doing laundry. Super exciting I know-but totally necessary. I had a chance to get my car washed and a pedicure. There was no place to rush off to so when we were good and ready we baked chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies. The funny thing is it was actually my idea to make cookies. Me who refused to cook and bake as a child and into adulthood. I want to bring cookies to our jobs to thank our co workers for the wedding gifts they got us.  We have an awesome-extremely heavy- Kitchen Aid mixer which makes the mixing process a breeze. Fancy Mj likes to pour all of his ingredients into those little clear pyrex bowls like they do on the food network. He has a reason for it that I don't quite get. All it does it create more dishes if you asked me so I don't see the point. I'm not a huge fan of dishes but I hate a messy kitchen worse so I assumed my usual role and did dishes as we went along so I wouldn't have to deal with them later. We ended up with 4 dozen chocolate chip and 3 1/2 dozen peanut butter. They are so delicious when they first come out of the oven. I've never much enjoyed being in the kitchen though it's changing a little bit as I've been making an effort lately to be a good wifey and get in there and cook. Surprisingly, baking cookies turned out to be a great way for us to spend a Saturday evening together.

 Peanut Butter.  We can do two trays at a time no prob with our convection oven.

After cookies I finally got around to watching The Runaways with Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning.  It was so good.  Those actresses are amazing!  Mj was already knocked out before the movie even ended.  You see, he didn't come home Friday night.  And we've only been married for less then a month!  No,  he's not in trouble.  He was out all night with a bunch of guys who just came back from overseas.  Accordingly, he drank too much to drive, crashed up there over night then made the 1 1/2 hour drive back home at about 8:00am Saturday morning.

I REALLY needed Saturday to relax , do errands and get some stuff done around the house.  Time to just BE.  Mj was able to get his homework done and finally clean up his mess of not yet put away clean laundry and still unpacked clothes from two weeks ago.  He likes to go, go, go but not me.  I need my time to chill out and take care of business.  He really needs it too even if he is too much of a busy body to realize it. 

Home Sweet Home

 When you buy a house that moment where you get to really celebrate and take a deep breath kinda gets lost in the shuffle.  People would ask, "Aren't you excited?" and I really didn't know what to say. I was but I wasn't. Yes, we were going through the process but there are so many variables, unanswered questions and hoops to jump through along the way that it felt like the deal could fall through at any moment.  You have little mini celebrations at each step only to have to hold your breath again as you wait for the next piece of the puzzle to fall into place.

We started out house hunting and bidding on existing properties which is a battle in itself especially in our county. I have heard horror stories of people bidding and getting rejected on house after house so at least we didn't have to deal with that.  You have to get pre approved (sometimes my multiple lenders depending on where your search takes you), find the house, sign the contract, obtain and lock the loan, sign closing docs, get the keys and finally after months of hoping and waiting and wondering you get to move in.  Our house was still being built so all of this uncertainty stretched out for 5 months which was not only stressful but makes me wonder how I ever closed on my condo in 30 days.  There was so much hoopla this time around and those loan officers are relentless.  By the time you move in you know you made it but are so overwhelmed and consumed by the moving process that you still don't really get a chance to celebrate.  There is still too much to think about.  Too much to do, buy and organize.  We were worn out.  Then next thing you know you're in, and that celebratory moment somehow got skipped over.  We still have champagne sitting in our refrigerator given to us by the builder on the day we moved in.  We steamrolled full speed ahead right into our wedding-adding another bottle of champagne to our stash-so it's not until now that I'm really getting to reflect on everything that went down. 

I have not lived in an actual house-or a place without communal laundry rooms for that matter-since I moved out of my parents house over a decade ago.  Gosh I feel so old being able to use the word DECADE that way!  I went from college housing for 2 1/2 years (excluding summers) then back to mom's house for about 2 years. After graduation I got my first apartment with the Ex in 1998.  Then, we moved down to the city and lived in 3 different small and sometimes not so great city apartments over the next 7 years.  After the divorce I bought my first place. A brand new tiny condo where I stayed put for the next 5 years fully expecting that I would stay there forever.  On a single income and with ridiculous housing prices where else was I gonna go?  I finally had a space of my own where no one could raise my rent or decide to convert to a condo forcing me to move but with very little in the way of amenities and it's small size it didn't take long for me to outgrow it on my own.  Then when Mj moved in and well..... let's just say the place got even smaller. 

We have been in our new house for about 2 1/2 months now-since May 21st.  Getting back to the 'burbs" and owning a detached home is something I always wanted but I didn't believe it was possible for me. The house hunting and home buying process was a roller coaster ride from hell at times.  Thank goodness Mj keeps a cool head 'cause I was freakin' out half the time.  The idea of being responsible for a juicy mortgage especially on top of my condo is scary but I don't think we bit off more then we could chew.  Every bit of anxiety along the way has been worth it. Even in this sketchy housing market this was something that we needed to do. I craved space and a functional home where I could feel at peace.  Where I could do my laundry without going outside and not have to search for parking when I get home from work! And I finally got it. 

Still wondering when we will get around to that champagne.  Guess it's never too late to celebrate.

What I love about Our House

I Miss This Face

Sent via text message

Whenever he puts on that uniform it means he's leaving.  Two years ago it was for a month here and a week there that culminated in a year long deployment..  This year so far it's mostly a weekend  but this time around it was for a week.  They split his two week drill into two separate weeks so he was only gone one week but will be gone for another week next month.  Well, it's better then a year and after going through that a week or a weekend really is nothing but it still makes me sad.  He usually has to leave really early in the morning while I'm still in bed.  I wipe my eyes and put on my glasses so I can get a good look at his handsome face one last time.  He comes to my bedside to give me a hug and a kiss like he usually does before leaving for work except this time instead of a button up shirt and tie he's wearing his Army fatigues.  He sits on the bed and hugs me and I don't want to let go.  I kiss him a few extra times and hug him a little longer then usual.  He is freshly shaved and I rub my cheek against his smooth face and squeeze him extra tight.

As I lay in bed with my eyes closed I listen as the garage door opens downstairs and closes after he drives away and tears leak out of my eyes.  I wonder why it still makes me cry when it's only one week. When he's away it's like a little part of me is missing too.  Sunday I get a text message.  I open my phone and I start laughing.  He sent me this adorable picture.  I text him back  "I love this pic, you are so cute! Thank you."  This pic will get me through the week.  Looking at it makes me smile.

He is making the 5 hour drive back right now.  By the time I get off work he will already be at home waiting for me.  I'm cooking dinner.  Our pro wedding pics are online now but since he wasn't here we are going to look at them this weekend.  Together.

Just Wanna Go Home

I'm a creature of habit. I like to stick to my routine, I like things to make sense and I really value my time at home after I get off work considering it is so limited. So that's why I was hugely annoyed when I learned there would be a scheduled training for a promo job that I agreed to work this week. By the time I get home it's about 5:30 pm and I like to come home, shower, put on my comfy casuals watch a little bit of TV and relax. Needless to say I was really put out when I found out the training would be on Tuesday on 7:30 pm for 45 minutes. You mean to tell me that my entire evening is now spoiled for a training that we probably don't really need in the first place?

This is already a busy week for me. A 7:30 pm training downtown means that I don't have time to zig zag back and forth across town and go home. I am stuck without anything to do for a couple of hours after I get off work when all I wanna do is go home. Wednesday I have a hair appointment so I won't get home until close to 8pm and then Thursday the promo job runs until 10:30pm. That's three long days in a row and I don't like it one bit. I know. I'm such baby when it comes to this and I know I should just get over it but for some reason I couldn't and I was just so mad.

When I really think about it I am lucky that I get to do this kind of work at all. It's a better paying part time gig then anything else I can think of. I don't get to model much anymore and doing promos kind of keeps me involved and maintains my relationship with my agency. I can't always do these considering I work full time but the general rule I have with myself is that if the agency gets me booked for a promo job I will do it if I can work it into my schedule. I could use the money and I enjoy it so to do otherwise would just be lazy. Fine. But a training? What's the point?

It's not like promo jobs are all that difficult. We are paid to look good and promote a brand. I don't consider it "real" modeling but they pay well and goodness knows I could use the extra money. The jobs range from boring, awful or exhausting to fun and easy.  Often a lot of back breaking standing on your feet.  You usually never know what you are doing until you show up. One of my fav's was years ago when I got to watch Beyonce in concert for free and get paid for it! I feel a little old for the alcohol promo's but not too much of that comes through the agency anyways. I am usually one of the "older" girls which is fine by me because despite my creaky knees I can pass for younger and no one really notices that I'm probably a good 10 years older then the youngest!

Resigned to my fate I drive downtown and manage to find free parking. I sit in my car for about an hour or so reading a magazine and wishing I was at home. I decide to venture out to kill more time and trip on something in the sidewalk to the point where I almost break my sandals. Irritated, I walk towards the hotel where the training is and realize that it's right across from this little tourist spot with shops and restaurants right by the Marina. I take a little walk by the water and take in the smells of the different restaurants. I was disgruntled and not expecting any photo ops.  I didn't have a camera with me and my phone is a million years old so I couldn't take a picture of all of the pretty boats bobbing up and down in the water or the cool horse drawn carriage waiting for customers to carry downtown. I wander into a few shops. The light breeze feels good on my face. I live in a beautiful place and I don't take it for granted but I do sometimes forget that all of this is right here in my backyard.

The pic I would have taken if I'd had a "real" phone. Courtesy of google images.

Suddenly my mood has lifted and I am no longer upset about this whole change in my routine. I got to lay my eyes on the pretty marina and take a nice walk. It was refreshing. Just walking through the hotel was an experience because it was so grand and beautiful. I couldn't help but wonder how much a wedding there would cost! Then, I actually enjoyed meeting the event organizers and the other models-two of which I have worked with before years ago.  Yeah, we probably didn't really need this kind of prep but the marketing company running the event is really organized and wanted to go that extra step. We picked out our sizes and found out a little bit about what we would be doing. I'm actually really excited about working Thursday's event.

Sure, I'd rather have been at home in my jammies watching the latest episode of "If I can Dream" on hulu and I'm tired now because I didn't get home until 9:30pm and got to bed late but it wasn't so bad. I wasted so much energy being angry. I can be so set in my ways sometimes. It just goes to show you that sometimes no matter how hard you try to disregard that silver lining sometimes it hunts you down and taps you on the shoulder anyways.

An Anthropologie Experience

Can't wait to wear this cute top

"Oh, they have an Anthropologie." I was with my big sis at the mall on Sunday and we wandered in there because we just so happened to be passing by and I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Every female seems to adore their clothes and abhor the prices so I have purposefully never checked out the website or made any attempt to walk in the store-not that I see them too often.  You know, that whole ignorance is bliss thing.  I certainly don't need another store on top of Express AND The Limited that I covet but can't really afford to shop at without coupons.  And something tells me Anthropologie is not very coupon friendly.

I made my way through the store fingering their lovely expensive clothes and hoping not to fall in love. Without planning to I walked out with an adorable clearance sleeveless top -First Flight Tee for $29.99. A bit high for just a tank but you can really feel the quality. The material is so soft and luxurious and I love the little lacy fringe on the shoulder that gives it such a girly yet sophisticated look.  It's so not in my budget but after months of buying mostly stuff for the house I just sorta said "What the hell" and bought it.  Clearance is the only way I'll likely ever buy anything from that store again considering the prices but I really do love their chic and elegant yet girly style.  They have great dresses and tops.  They make cotton look fancy which is perfect for a girl like me who if given an ultimatum would choose comfort over fashion-especially when it comes to my footwear-but REALLY wants to have both.  With Anthro I get this distinct feeling that I could have the best of both worlds and find myself dreaming of my entire closet filled with their pieces.  What if my entire wardrobe was all Anthropologie?  I couldn't help but to look effortlessly fabulous-all the time.  And then I imagine how much that would cost me.  Bubble bursting.  So not happening!!

Incidentally, without even realizing it I actually have two tops from Anthro.  Both given to me by my trendy fashionista little sis as gifts over the last couple of years because she really is just cool like that.  She has been a fan of Anthro for quite a while now along with everyone else.  Now I have one more piece to add to my not really growing collection. I feel pretty cool now that I bought a shirt from Anthropologie although I don't know when or even if it will happen again.  At least not anytime soon!  And yes, I fell in love just a little bit but this store is so far out of my reach that it pretty much kills the whole temptation factor I was afraid of.