Six Things

I am bursting right now. Do you ever feel like you just have so many thoughts and so many things to say but you just can't get it all out in the way that it feels in your heart? Well, that's me right now. That's me a lot of times really. I love writing and I like to think I don't suck at it but there are times when I feel that I can't find the words. So I'm going to just do sort of a rambly this is what's on my mind kind of post.

I finished my novel last week.  I started a post to describe the whole experience and then I couldn't find the words to describe how it felt so it's still sitting in my drafts.  For now, suffice it to say the damn thing is finished and I'm still not really sure how I feel about it.  Extremely happy for one, but also confused because I'm getting closer to that point where I have to decide if I want anyone to read it.

My first work out gloves

I started a new exercise and meal plan this week and I'm feeling really good about it. Part of myself is still in denial and I may or may not admit it again but if I'm being totally honest with myself the truth is that I've struggled with an eating disorder for about 10 years.  Wow.  That sounds crazy when you still don't really want to believe that you ever had a problem.  I don't talk about it much to anyone and even when I do I don't use that word.  Eating disorder is such a loaded word for me and I'm very conflicted about it.  I never felt like I'd truly "earned" the title.  No, it's not something to aspire to but I think anyone who has ever had ED issues would understand what I mean.  I try to deny it because I wasn't 85 lbs in a hospital bed but it's not the 80's anymore and we are more aware of the fact that eating disorders come in all types, shapes, sizes and colors.  When you don't fit the typical ED mold it makes it even that much easier to pretend you don't have a problem.  I pretty much hate my body no matter what size I am and my relationship with food has been really unhealthy.  I'm working really hard to change those old habits.  Right now that means having someone help me learn how to eat more calories consistently the right way so that's what I'm doing.  I'm also going to be shifting my focus from cardio to strength training.  This should help fix my metabolism AND I kinda want to see how buff I can get!! Mainly I just want to be fit AND healthy.  This is still all very new and I don't know how it's all going to end up but I'm really going to give it a chance.  So that's my deep dark secret and it feels good to get it out.

My husband is totally and completely amazing.  He bought me my very first pair of work out gloves (link HERE)and he got them in Pink.  Because PINK!  I love them.  He's also made me all of my chicken for the week and is making me more tonight so I can eat dinner.  I fall more and more in love with this man the longer I know him and feel so incredibly fortunate that he came into my life when he did.

My laptop is fixed.  Well, as of last night it should be and I'm gong to start using it again and see how it goes.  My personal tech support guy also known as my husband has been working on it for the last few weeks and even before that he replaced the battery and added more memory.  It still had issues so we went to the genius bar.  Mr. Genius Bar Man ran a diagnostic and said we should  wipe it and reset to factory settings.  "Is your computer backed up?"  he asked.  I just looked at MJ and shrugged because he's in charge of the time capsule.  I don't trust the time capsule.  I don't understand what the heck that thing actually is but MJ assured him that it had backed everything up and it was okay to delete.  Turns out I was right not to trust it.  There was a glitch and  my  pictures, my documents, my iTunes and everything else that had gone into my laptop over the last five years was gone baby gone.  The good news is that Mr. Sexy Personal Tech Support Guy believes that he has recovered everything and I'm going to have lost of fun sorting through it all this weekend.  Didn't I just say how amazing he is?  This means I get to hold off on buying another Mac for a little while longer.

The countdown to vacation is on.  We'll be jetting off to Cancun in a week.  As you all know I was devastated about screwing up on the booking but I made a full recovery and now I just can't wait to get there.  Commence the pre vacation anxiety.  I don't have any plans next week except working out and catching up on TV shows.  I am such a nervous wreck before vacation so all I have room for is focusing on packing and making sure I have everything I need.  I have already started To Do/To Get lists.

I only had five things but it turned into six because I have to mention this.  Blogger has somehow duplicated this post even as I write it!!  I don't know what's going on but I was writing my post as usual and then when I saved there were two identical drafts of the same post even though I only did one!!  Every time I update one the other one updates the same way once I hit refresh.  I feel like something like this has happened before and when I deleted the "duplicate" it deleted both and I lost everything.  As a precaution I saved the entire post into word before I deleted the extra just in case.  Weird.

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Dress Obsessed

I'm the type of blogger that gets antsy when I can't post about fun stuff I did right away.  I might not post for another week afterwards but I want that post up stat.  I had a great weekend with my family and got some great pictures but between a busy week and a wonky computer I just haven't had time!!  I've had this in draft for a week and it's been a long time since I did an outfit post so this goes up today. 

If eShakti had asked me a year ago to pick out something to review for my blog I probably would have chosen a shirt.  I had dresses in my closet but rarely wore them.  I just wasn't a fan.  That was then and this is now.  I am still dress obsessed so I went straight for the dresses and I was so excited about the huge selection.  eShakti has every kind of dress you could ever want.  It was so hard to pick!  I love the feminine colors and pattern of this floral posy print sash tied dress.  It has an extra liner underneath to prevent see through action and the quality is really great.  I like it that it's different then most of the dresses I already have and I made sure to choose one that is work friendly.  Most of my dresses are super casual (think maxi style) so this is going to be a nice addition to my dress collection.

One of the reasons I don't like online shopping so much is because I really, really like to try everything on.  I am not one of those people that just gets her usual size or eye balls it.  I try on everything, every time (which can feel really exhausting) because sizes vary even when something is supposed to be the same size and I don't like to have to go back.  It's a hassle and by the time I return it they probably won't have the size I really needed.  There is a very good chance you don't have to worry about that if it's custom made and that's one unique option that eShakti offers.  I sent them all of my measurements and the dress I got in the mail fit perfectly.  I haven't had anything customized to my body since my wedding dress four years ago.  There is something about the whole custom order concept that made me feel rich and I liked it.  It even has this really cool label inside that says "custom."

I'm excited to have a new dress and I'm also really excited that I finally did another outfit post.  How long have I been saying I wanted to do more?  Forever.  Note to self:  work on your posture.  I've been telling myself that for a long time too (and so has MJ).  I really need to get it together.

If you would like to get 10% OFF at eShakti use coupon code 'CECESTORIES.'  The code is valid through July 13, 2014.  The following restrictions apply. Code has to be entered in the ‘promotional code’ box. It is not case-sensitive.Code can be used any number of times until the validity period. It can be combined with any other promotional offer, gift coupon or gift card in the same order unless explicitly specified otherwise in the offer conditions.This discount code is not applicable on clearance / sale, gift cards & overstock categories.  Not applicable on previous purchases.

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How Toilet Paper is Like Cereal

Let's talk bums.  The reality of it is that we all need toilet paper and thank goodness we have it.  I've watched enough Naked and Afraid episodes to know that I would not enjoy wiping my bum with leaves.  I mean, how does that even work?  Probably not so well.  In fact, if I went on the show (which would never happen) I'd probably bring soap or some other such cleaning agent that would make my partner extremely angry because soap never kept anybody from starving.

Read More HERE >>>> 

Cottonelle Clean Care

It's Not Facebook It's You

I have read so many things about what not to do on social media or what annoys people about social media that at this point I'm more annoyed by those articles then I am by the actual things on social media that annoy me.  This article on How to Be Insufferable on Facebook  left me totally confused.  I  wasn't sure what was left for anyone on this planet to post after it ruled almost everything out as annoying.  I mean, if you follow this persons so called rules what is left to post and why would I want to bother with social media at all if I have to consult a manual to ensure that I'm not being insufferable before I post anything?  I used to get really bent out of shape about certain things on social media too until one day I realized that social media truly is what I make of it.  I only have to be as annoyed as I allow myself to be.  Instead of writing another post about what annoys me about social media this one is about how NOT to be annoyed by social media.  Some of it is specific to Facebook but can apply across all social media platforms.

1// Cut the friend list.  People in real life annoy you right? So why would you expect social media to be any different? There is one HUGE difference a lot of people fail to remember. While you may be forced to tolerate your cousin who brags about herself or that co worker that is always such a Debbie Downer you do not have to put up with that girl you went to high school  with who chain posts collages of her and her boyfriend wearing color coordinated outfits.  You do not have to subject yourself to the political rants of your deranged step uncle or the TMI attention seeker.  If you don't like it don't follow.  The minute I started to feel that I was more annoyed or consumed with Facebook then the enjoyment I was getting out of it I did something very ground breaking.  I stopped accepting friend requests and I deleted more then half of my friends.  You may have to put up with someone you don't like in real life but the reality is you don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to on social media. Not your mother, your sister, nobody.  If you only keep 10 friends because the rest if them drive you nuts so be it.  Or better yet just get over it because people are annoying and that's just life.  There are people that still bug a little that I haven't gotten rid of for whatever reasons and I just deal with it because really-it's not that big of a deal.

2// Customize it.  Social media, particularly Facebook is pretty customizable these days.  There are many privacy settings and other controls that allow you to personalize your Facebook experience.  Use them. If you are worried about offending people on Facebook by defriending just hide their posts.  They will never know the difference and you can check in on them when you feel like it.  That person that blows up your news feed by sharing every single video or article they read needs to be stopped.  They might feel the need to share their comprehensive internet experience by posting a million videos, pics and links per day but you don't have to see it.  I started hiding certain feeds and suddenly, my newsfeed became very boring (in a good way) and when it wasn't boring it was filled with things I was actually interested in seeing.  

3// Understand that the very thing that drives one person up the wall may not bother the next person at all. There is a good chance that you are doing something that annoys someone even if you feel you are doing everything "right" because there is no right. There are people who hate any and all hash tags, roll their eyes if you post more then one pic a day and can't stand your stupid inspirational quotes. There are people who complain if you post the burger and fries you had for lunch or your sweaty post work out pics even if you don't do it a lot.  I've done both by the way, and so what.  I tend to operate on the anything in moderation idea but even so you still can't please everyone.  We are all so different.  It's impossible.

4// Accept that Social media is selfish in nature. We get our own handle, write our own about me blurb and choose our profile pic. It's all about US. If it weren't what else would we be posting all day? Even if we post a video that we think is funny and might make someone laugh we are posting it because WE like it and you can bet there will be probably still be someone who won't appreciate it. Someone who will be thinking there she goes posting another stupid video.  It's also perfectly selfish in that we can customize our own experience not only regarding what we choose to see but what we choose to post.  Since you already know you can't please everyone just please yourself.

5// If you don't want people in your business don't share it.  If you can't or won't unfollow, defriend or customize your privacy settings just don't share it.  Really, it is that simple.

6// Separate yourself from it. Who are all of these people and why do I care about everything they are doing?  Why is it necessary for me to share my every thought?   Take a deep breath and step back.  Just because you can share doesn't mean you have to.  All the time.  Just  because you have the ability to peek into peoples lives doesn't mean you have to.  All the time.
 
There are a lot of things I like about social media.  I like staying connected with certain people.  I like seeing pics of my out of state nephew regularly and staying caught up on news in the gymnastics world and other things that interest me.  I like it that I can send group messages, coordinate events, allow people to see pics and just in general engage with others.  I know people who don't have Facebook accounts saying they will "get in trouble" because you know, Facebook is so powerful it can destroy relationships.  Others have deleted their accounts 10 x over because they can't stand the "drama" or they get too consumed with it.   Others say they just don't like people to know their business.

I'm here to tell you one thing.  Don't let annoying people take Facebook (or any other form of social media) away from you.  If it doesn't do anything for you and you are not interested in it at all that's one thing but if you quit because others annoy you I'm not sure how much sense that makes when it's only as annoying as you allow it to be. Forget about trying to please everyone on social media. It'll never happen. Just worry about pleasing yourself.  The ones who don't like it can just unfollow and you can do the same

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Family Time and a $10 Outfit

We only got in two episodes of Orange is the New Black on Friday night.  There was a part of me that longed for an Orange marathon but a bigger much louder part of me was thrilled to be spending the weekend with family.  My older sister and nephew are here for 17 days.  I only get to see them on the weekends because of work so I am really trying to make the most of it.  The day she flew in my parents picked them up and drove straight to my house so we could all go out to breakfast and hang out.  My little sister gets into town this Friday and the entire upcoming weekend is packed with more family activities.

I get a lot of time at home alone without MJ since he travels but he rarely gets the house to himself without me.  I spent all day Saturday and that night at my mom's and I know he liked it that he had time to himself- which doesn't bother me too much even though I like pretend that I am totally offended.  It was only one night but I still got all pouty and I'm gonna miss you on him which is kind of silly because we've spent many, many nights apart.  I can be so dramatic sometimes but I really can't help it.

I always forget my hat.  I actually have a cute one I could have worn.

DJ

We spent Saturday at the park.  DJ got to play and burn off some 3 year old energy while we got to sit, chat and just be with each other.  My little nephew is so sweet and soft spoken.  At that age you don't even know if they know who you are.  It's been almost a year since I last saw him.  He smiled really big when he saw me.  Awww he does remember his Auntie Cece.  I scooped him up into a giant hug.  He is just the cutest. 

Maxi'd out

My sister and I went to the mall twice.  We didn't plan it but we went on Saturday for one thing then Sunday because she realized she needed something else.  You see that outfit I'm wearing? $10 bucks.  Even people who are not shopping cannot pass up a $3.00 shirt and an $8.00 maxi skirt.  I mean, really!!  In case you are wondering where you can get $3 shirts it's Rue 21.  My sister works at a store in N. Carolina.  When things go on clearance there, they REALLY go on clearance.  I have a maxi skirt addiction.  Every where I looked that's all I saw.  All I wanted to do was buy more and more but I didn't because I have more then enough to get me through the Summer and I realize it's just the addiction talking.

My mom got me a pair of $3.00 sweats from Rue 21 when they went so now my sister, mom and I all have ones that match.  They have kind of a wild print but they are really cute for wearing at home or to places like Walmart or late night doughnut runs.  It's too warm now, but hopefully we will get a chance to wear them together sometime and be super annoying matchy matchy twinsies.  And that's just the thing.  We really don't know when we are all going to be together again.  We never do.  We just have to enjoy the times that we are.

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I Screwed Up

Azul Fives Hotel

I'm an idiot.  It is with great sadness that I have to admit I totally screwed up when I booked the hotel for our Cancun trip.  We're still going but if I knew then what I know now we would probably be staying elsewhere.  The Trip Advisor reviews are almost flawless.  I should've known it was too good to be true. 

I was actually having a pretty decent Monday until I called to follow up on our reservation and take care of the all inclusive resort fee part of it. When I heard how much it was I almost fell out of my chair.  I mean, I've never been the best at math but I know how to multiply and when I ran the numbers AFTER I got the invoice I realized my mistake.  My appetite was gone.  I couldn't even finish eating my snack because a giant knot of complete and total ick was sitting in the pit of my stomach.  Yes, ick.  I just felt icky, awful and really really stupid for underestimating the cost so much.  I wanted to cancel the trip.  Then I had to tell MJ.  I didn't even want to text him the amount because it was far higher then what I told him it would probably be.

Me:  I'm feeling physically ill right now.  I called to check on the resort fee and it's a lot of money.  It's so much that I want to cry right now (and I almost did).
Him:  What's the price?  Need anything from the store?  I'm getting milk.
Me:  $1,654.00.  It's the price of an entire vacation.  I'm so stupid.
Him:  Just for the all inclusive part right?
Me:  Yes, that's what makes it so bad.
Him:  I'm trying to replicate the El Pollo Loco meal.
Me:  How can you think about food at a time like this???!!!!

Obviously he wasn't as devastated as I was.  I couldn't even begin to recover from this news until I knew he wasn't mad at me.  When I got home he hugged me and told me it was okay and then I felt better.  I'm even starting to get excited about the trip again.

I don't know what went wrong! I'm usually so good about these things.  I guess I couldn't comprehend that it would cost that much since I had no concept of how much a typical all inclusive fee could be.  I'm comprehending it now all right and it sucks.  It's like thinking you got a dynamite deal and booked The Four Seasons for the price of The Best Western and then realizing you actually booked The Four Seasons for the price of The Four Seasons and now you have to pay for it.  I would never have knowingly spent this much on this vacation.  I mean, we have great vacations but I pride myself on finding the best deals balancing quality with price as much as I possibly can.  This is in no way the best deal possible as far as I'm concerned and I don't like that.  I would've chosen someplace else or we might not have gone all inclusive at all had I realized the cost.  

I do realize that spending way more on a vacation then you intended is not the worst thing in the world.  This hotel is fabulous and bottom line is I'm lucky to be going there.  What would be worse is if we couldn't pay the fee, had to cancel our trip entirely and lose money on our non refundable airline tickets.  It would be far worse if I booked us a fleabag motel instead and we ended up having a miserable time or if we couldn't ever go on vacation at all.  It just really pisses me off that we are spending money I didn't plan on.   There are people who wouldn't bat an eye at this (MJ) but I am not those people.  I have budgets and bills.  I like getting good deals dammit and this does not feel like a good deal.

I was so rattled that I forgot to ask about booking our airport transportation.  I called back the next day to book a shuttle and  if an expensive limo shows up at the Cancun airport to pick us up I'm done!!

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