Slimy Carrots and a Blogging Rut

missing that view already

I confess that I have no idea what to blog about so I'm writing a confessions post.

I confess that yesterday was our four year wedding anniversary and I didn't even realize it until someone wished us Happy Anniversary on Facebook.  Oops.  We don't celebrate it so that's okay.

I confess that I haven't even begun to work on my vacation recaps. I haven't even downloaded the pictures and without the pictures I've already forgotten the details of what we did each day. It will happen this weekend and it should be pretty straight forward because it was mostly eat, beach, drink, eat, beach, drink. Repeat.

I confess that I may have OD'd on wine.  I didn't think it was possible but it's Friday and I'm not craving it at all.  Yes, I drank that much.  I'm sure it will pass.

I confess that I returned slimy carrots to the grocery store.  I bought them on a Wednesday and by Thursday the next week they were spoiled.  Carrots should not spoil that quickly.  My mom won't hesitate, but I don't think I've ever returned anything to a grocery store.  I usually just take the hit but it's the 2nd time this has happened and my meal plan is eating us out of house and home!  I needed to get those carrots replaced.

I confess that the week our free 14 oz Success Rice rice coupons were set to expire I hit up the grocery store every day and sometimes multiple stores in one day to use them up.  MJ's cousin gave us a bunch when she was here and it was ridiculous that we waited until the last minute.  Twice MJ and I went into the same store and did separate transactions.  Food is expensive and you can't beat free!! I'm still bummed out that we had to let two of them expire.

I confess that exactly two days after returning from Cancun I was already on the phone booking another vacation. We're going to Hawaii for the 3rd time exactly one year from now. We haven't even taken our September vacation yet and we're going to Vegas next month.   I think I've gone vacation crazy.  It's like I can't stop.  And it's great and all except I'm getting really tired of paying for expensive overpriced airline tickets.  I get really disgruntled every time we book flights especially when I come across airlines that think it's cute to charge for a carry on.  Spirit, I'm talking about you.

I confess that I feel disconnected from blogging.  I just haven't been as obsessed with it as I usually am. I attribute this to three things.
1-I've been editing the heck out of my novel over the last month and it's taken priority over blogging stuff.  Sometimes there aren't enough creative juices to go around.
2-I feel boring, insignificant and that nothing I have to say is blogworthy.  That term is entirely subjective and can change from one week to the next depending on my mood.  One day I'm totally confident about posting even the silliest thing and other times I question and doubt every single post.
3-My life was just fine without blogging and social media while I was on vacation.  No Wi-Fi meant no social media which meant no likes or lack thereof.  I didn't have to think about what I would post next and it was nice that words like page view or followers never crossed my mind.  When I'm in my happy blogging place (which is probably 90% of the time) I care about none of those things but I'm only human.  Sometimes I let it get to me and then I wonder why I bother blogging at all.
I'm sure I'll get my groove back.  It's not the first time I've lost it and I'm sure it won't be the last.  It's just the nature of the beast.

On that note; I'm exhausted!!  We got back late Saturday after about 15 hours of traveling.  I was groggy all day Sunday and then it was right back to work Monday.  I still managed to get in three work outs this week but I'm beat and so ready for the weekend.

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More Energy Please

I'm back!! Vacation was awesome.  My blog reader has over 600 unread blogs, I have a tan line wrapped around my neck visible above my scoop neck top and a million pictures to go through.  I'm feeling twice as energetic on the Monday after my vacation as I did the Monday before my vacation so that means it did it's job.  I am officially refreshed, but how long before I start burrowing my head into my pillow in misery on Monday's again?  

Is it just me or does anyone else ever feel tired all day every day for no good reason?  MJ is an energizer bunny.  He's hardly ever tired, but not me.  Sometimes I wake up tired.  Go to work tired.  Come home tired.  Go to bed tired.  Then I do the same thing all over again the next day like some kind of chronic fatigue thing that never seems to go away no matter how much sleep I get or how much exercise I do.  I know that mood and diet have a lot to do with your energy.  It makes sense to be exhausted if you are depressed and not eating a healthy diet but now that I'm doing better in those areas it was really annoying to find that I was still chronically fatigued.  Life is way too short to be tired all the time.

 I've started and stopped taking multi vitamins a million times over.  I'd do really good taking them for awhile and then I'd start forgetting and quit altogether.  I'd think about taking it but say, oh well why bother because it didn't seem to be doing anything for me anyway. Bodies are so different.  What works for one person may do nothing for another.  I heard all of these wonderful things about vitamin B12 so I took it religiously for a while and it didn't do a thing so I quit.

I was researching something else and stumbled across three vitamins that kept coming up so I went out and bought all three.  I've been taking a 5,000 IU Vitamin D, a 1000mg Vitamin C and three 400mcg folic acid tablets for going on two months now and I think I finally found something that works.  It took about a month for me to feel any different but once I did I was very motivated to keep taking them every day.  It's a lot easier to remember if you actually feel like it's  benefiting you.  I'd get to work and wonder what was going on.  Why am I not tired?  When I get home I don't want to just fall asleep on the couch.  I'd go to bed anyways because I know I need my sleep but I wasn't feeling as dead tired as I was before.  I'm still tired when I don't get enough sleep but day to day I'm finding that I'm just not as tired as I used to be and that is a very good thing because sleepwalking through life is no fun.

I'm also taking 2 Fish Oil tablets with dinner every night as part of my meal plan which is an Omega 6 fatty acid that is supposed to be good  for your heart.  Once I run out of the Vitamin C I'm going to switch to a multi vitamin that has at least 1,000mg of C and supplement with a slightly lower dose Vitamin D and Folic Acid to make up the difference.   Most Multi's actually don't have a whole lot of D and I really think that's what's doing the trick for me.  Or maybe not.  Maybe it's the combination of the three.  Who knows.  I just know that it's really nice to not be dead tired when I get to work every day.  This combination is also very good for vaginal health.  So yeah, that was the other thing I was researching.

I bought this really cute Vita Carry pill case on Amazonbecause rushing to open three bottles every morning was a pain in the butt.  This way I can keep it in my purse and take them at work.The giant fish oil pills fit and it's a lot better looking then those old school looking pill cases they sell at Walgreens. 

Vacation works better then vitamins.  I skipped all vitamins and I still had tons of energy while we were gone.  I ALWAYS have energy for days when I'm on vacation and my chronic fatigue issues magically disappear; which is just one thing I love about vacation.  The only problem is that life is not a vacation.  Life is 45 hours a week at work and fitting in everything else in between so I'm back on my vitamin regimen and I hope it keeps working.

Do you take vitamins?  What works or doesn't work for you?

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A Life That Doesn't Require Vacation

Oh my gosh.  This week!!!!  I was supposed to be all about stress packing and getting my work outs in but it didn't quite turn out that way.  I only managed two work outs, I met up with a friend and I had a friend over to do a Mary Kay consult.  She's a new rep so she needs to get a bunch in this month but she's not pushy so I don't have to worry about her trying to get me to buy stuff all the time.

Friends since 8th Grade // Do we look much different then we did in 2007?

I got a text from my really good friend that they were in town from Alaska.  I knew she was coming and that it was going to be a very tight window right before our trip where we'd have only a few days available to see each other but you know how things sneak up on you.  MJ and I met her and her husband at Mimi's Cafe for dinner.  She is really skinny and her baby is chunky.  She says her baby took her ass; and I think he literally did by way of breast feeding.  I mean, she is thinner then she was before she got pregnant and she got huge while she pregnant.  Some people are just lucky like that.  Anyway, it was so wonderful to catch up with her and her husband and kiss her adorable baby boy.  She's finally getting out of Alaska this year and I'm really hoping she moves back here.  It would be awesome to get my BFF back.

I started packing Sunday, MJ started packing last night and he STILL finished before me.  Typical.  With every vacation I get better and better about not stressing but something tells me I will never be as good as him.  I'm feeling okay but it's those few minutes just before I zip up my luggage to load it in the car that the major anxiety really hits.  I'll just be happy if I can zip the thing up.  It's stuffed but I don't think I over packed.  I've never had to pay a baggage fee since the airlines got really cheap and started charging.  I plan to continue that streak so one suitcase it is.

Our last two beach vacations were in November/December and none of the stores had bathing suits so when I needed a cover up or bikini bottoms to match a top I already had I had the search the ends of the earth to find what I was looking for. This time it's the beginning of Summer and I don't really need a bikini but every time I got to Target (which is entirely too much) I really, really want one.  That wall of bright colors calls out to me even though I dread the thought of putting one on and looking in the mirror.  I'll get one next trip but with my luck it will be winter, I will not have planned ahead and I won't be able to find one without spending an arm and a leg.  Such is life.  You will be seeing pics of me in the same bikini from five vacations ago.

We went to Maui in December but it already feels like a lifetime ago and just six months later I already feel like my life depends on having another vacation.  Someone tweeted a post a few weeks ago that kind of irked me for some reason.   Instead of desperately looking forward to your next vacation why not create a life in which you do not need a vacation from your life?  Okay.  So basically, my life clearly isn't awesome enough because I need a vacation and since I need one so bad then maybe I need to re think my life choices and consider planning a life that doesn't require one.  Does a life like that even exist?  Even rich celebrities who make their living doing things they love and have servants need a vacation from their life sometimes.  Right?  Or am I just doing life all wrong?  Well I definitely need a break from work and the daily grind but the other part of it is that I love traveling.  Even if my life were so called perfect enough to not need a vacation I'd probably still want to see other parts of the world.  Oh wait.  If I were savvy enough to create that perfect life then traveling would be part of my job so I wouldn't need a vacation for that reason either.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read into that tweet way more then I should have.

I don't have a maid to clean my house, a personal assistant to run my errands and a job I would do for free so I'm off to do the next best thing.  Vacation.  I will eat like a pig, drink like a fish and let someone else clean my room while I lay on a beach in Cancun.  I won't be posting for the next week (which is not entirely unusual) but if I have wi-fi I'll be on Instagram.

Until Next Time

I understand that people have to grow up and sow their oats where ever that may take them but sometimes it really sucks that everybody has to grow up and move away.  I stayed put mostly, but little sis has moved way up north, big sis has moved down South and the rents are still deciding where they want to live out their golden years.  Why can't everyone just stay put so I can watch my nephew grow up and spend time with everyone without having to get on a plane?  I do realize that the world doesn't revolve around me but it sure would be nice if it did.

Not last weekend but the one before my whole family was in town and it was awesome.  I'm usually a homebody but it was go, go, go from Friday to Monday.  We really have to make the most of our time together so even this homebody wouldn't have had it any other way.  On Friday night I picked up little sis and her boyfriend from the airport and then we all went to dinner in Old Town.

On Saturday it was a day at the county fair.  To this day the fair has a special place in my heart because my parents started a tradition of taking us there every year when we were kids.   We took many 'put your photo on a button' family pictures over the years.  Nobody ever actually wore the button but my mom used to line them up on the fireplace so we could see how we changed from year to year.  I wonder if my mom still has them.  Something tells me she does because she still has my high school Varsity letterman jacket and fairy wings from my little sister's Halloween costume a million years ago.

DJ had a ton of fun getting on rides.  Last time they went he was scared but now he is ready and willing to go on by himself.  He's still a little guy so some of them required adult supervision.  There was a day when I went straight to the fun zone and hit the rides but my how times have changed.  I have absolutely no desire to get jerked around anymore.  Another telltale sign of getting old.

the giant slide was always one of my favorites

This is THE pizza that I HAVE to get every year.  There is deep fried everything at the fair now but I usually only have room for this pizza and then an ice cream cone later.  It's a french bread Pizza with a thick and totally delicious flaky crust.  I dream about it the night before and then savor every last bite until it's gone.
 

One of my favorite parts of going to the fair is hanging out in the beer garden.  We plop down in the grass and eat our food while we listen to whatever band is playing.   A lot of times it's not even music that I would normally listen to but sitting outside in the sun with a beer in my hand makes it enjoyable.  They had a beer tasting thing going on.  You get five 5 oz tastings for $17.00.  Sounds really expensive and it is but it's actually a good deal when it costs $10 just for one 12 oz beer.  The fair prices are not very fair at all.  My dad paid for it.  Just one of the perks of hanging out with the parents. 

Every year there is a free wine tasting event we always try to do so we went from beer tasting to wine tasting.  It's four pours and you have to get there like 30 minutes early to get a seat but we will do almost anything for free wine.  Now we have another set of authentic San Diego Fair wine glasses to add to our collection.

My mom is recovering really well from her foot surgery.  She just went back to the gym for the first time this week but for an all day outing she needed the wheelchair.  By the end of the day my feet were so tired I wanted to sit in her lap.  It was the coolest thing to be able to go to the fair together one last time.  We all had a blast. That night I was so exhausted that I fell into bed thinking it had to be at least 2 in the morning but it was only 11:15pm.

We went out to Breakfast for Father's Day Sunday morning.  We started out at one place but the wait was really long so we went somewhere else where we got seated right away.

Pre Breakfast.  Waiting for food.

The family

Dad and his three girls

We dropped of little sis's boyfriend at the airport and then had a girls night at my house.  We went for a drink and tried to stay up too late watching a movie but had to shut it off and go to bed.  It was a rare night away from DJ for my sister.  She needed it and my parents love having him to themselves so it was win win for everyone.

I took Monday off so I could get in one last day with my sisters and nephew before they head back home.  We spent most of the day hanging out in the back yard.  DJ always hears the ice cream truck and someone always takes him out to get something.

When it was time to leave my heart was so full and so sad.  Full because I enjoyed every single minute that we got to spend together but sad because it's the last time we will all be together again for a while and probably THE last time in my hometown where we all grew up.   I have no idea where or when we will meet up again so all we can do is make the most of the time we have.  

Until next time......

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Six Things

I am bursting right now. Do you ever feel like you just have so many thoughts and so many things to say but you just can't get it all out in the way that it feels in your heart? Well, that's me right now. That's me a lot of times really. I love writing and I like to think I don't suck at it but there are times when I feel that I can't find the words. So I'm going to just do sort of a rambly this is what's on my mind kind of post.

I finished my novel last week.  I started a post to describe the whole experience and then I couldn't find the words to describe how it felt so it's still sitting in my drafts.  For now, suffice it to say the damn thing is finished and I'm still not really sure how I feel about it.  Extremely happy for one, but also confused because I'm getting closer to that point where I have to decide if I want anyone to read it.

My first work out gloves

I started a new exercise and meal plan this week and I'm feeling really good about it. Part of myself is still in denial and I may or may not admit it again but if I'm being totally honest with myself the truth is that I've struggled with an eating disorder for about 10 years.  Wow.  That sounds crazy when you still don't really want to believe that you ever had a problem.  I don't talk about it much to anyone and even when I do I don't use that word.  Eating disorder is such a loaded word for me and I'm very conflicted about it.  I never felt like I'd truly "earned" the title.  No, it's not something to aspire to but I think anyone who has ever had ED issues would understand what I mean.  I try to deny it because I wasn't 85 lbs in a hospital bed but it's not the 80's anymore and we are more aware of the fact that eating disorders come in all types, shapes, sizes and colors.  When you don't fit the typical ED mold it makes it even that much easier to pretend you don't have a problem.  I pretty much hate my body no matter what size I am and my relationship with food has been really unhealthy.  I'm working really hard to change those old habits.  Right now that means having someone help me learn how to eat more calories consistently the right way so that's what I'm doing.  I'm also going to be shifting my focus from cardio to strength training.  This should help fix my metabolism AND I kinda want to see how buff I can get!! Mainly I just want to be fit AND healthy.  This is still all very new and I don't know how it's all going to end up but I'm really going to give it a chance.  So that's my deep dark secret and it feels good to get it out.

My husband is totally and completely amazing.  He bought me my very first pair of work out gloves (link HERE)and he got them in Pink.  Because PINK!  I love them.  He's also made me all of my chicken for the week and is making me more tonight so I can eat dinner.  I fall more and more in love with this man the longer I know him and feel so incredibly fortunate that he came into my life when he did.

My laptop is fixed.  Well, as of last night it should be and I'm gong to start using it again and see how it goes.  My personal tech support guy also known as my husband has been working on it for the last few weeks and even before that he replaced the battery and added more memory.  It still had issues so we went to the genius bar.  Mr. Genius Bar Man ran a diagnostic and said we should  wipe it and reset to factory settings.  "Is your computer backed up?"  he asked.  I just looked at MJ and shrugged because he's in charge of the time capsule.  I don't trust the time capsule.  I don't understand what the heck that thing actually is but MJ assured him that it had backed everything up and it was okay to delete.  Turns out I was right not to trust it.  There was a glitch and  my  pictures, my documents, my iTunes and everything else that had gone into my laptop over the last five years was gone baby gone.  The good news is that Mr. Sexy Personal Tech Support Guy believes that he has recovered everything and I'm going to have lost of fun sorting through it all this weekend.  Didn't I just say how amazing he is?  This means I get to hold off on buying another Mac for a little while longer.

The countdown to vacation is on.  We'll be jetting off to Cancun in a week.  As you all know I was devastated about screwing up on the booking but I made a full recovery and now I just can't wait to get there.  Commence the pre vacation anxiety.  I don't have any plans next week except working out and catching up on TV shows.  I am such a nervous wreck before vacation so all I have room for is focusing on packing and making sure I have everything I need.  I have already started To Do/To Get lists.

I only had five things but it turned into six because I have to mention this.  Blogger has somehow duplicated this post even as I write it!!  I don't know what's going on but I was writing my post as usual and then when I saved there were two identical drafts of the same post even though I only did one!!  Every time I update one the other one updates the same way once I hit refresh.  I feel like something like this has happened before and when I deleted the "duplicate" it deleted both and I lost everything.  As a precaution I saved the entire post into word before I deleted the extra just in case.  Weird.

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Dress Obsessed

I'm the type of blogger that gets antsy when I can't post about fun stuff I did right away.  I might not post for another week afterwards but I want that post up stat.  I had a great weekend with my family and got some great pictures but between a busy week and a wonky computer I just haven't had time!!  I've had this in draft for a week and it's been a long time since I did an outfit post so this goes up today. 

If eShakti had asked me a year ago to pick out something to review for my blog I probably would have chosen a shirt.  I had dresses in my closet but rarely wore them.  I just wasn't a fan.  That was then and this is now.  I am still dress obsessed so I went straight for the dresses and I was so excited about the huge selection.  eShakti has every kind of dress you could ever want.  It was so hard to pick!  I love the feminine colors and pattern of this floral posy print sash tied dress.  It has an extra liner underneath to prevent see through action and the quality is really great.  I like it that it's different then most of the dresses I already have and I made sure to choose one that is work friendly.  Most of my dresses are super casual (think maxi style) so this is going to be a nice addition to my dress collection.

One of the reasons I don't like online shopping so much is because I really, really like to try everything on.  I am not one of those people that just gets her usual size or eye balls it.  I try on everything, every time (which can feel really exhausting) because sizes vary even when something is supposed to be the same size and I don't like to have to go back.  It's a hassle and by the time I return it they probably won't have the size I really needed.  There is a very good chance you don't have to worry about that if it's custom made and that's one unique option that eShakti offers.  I sent them all of my measurements and the dress I got in the mail fit perfectly.  I haven't had anything customized to my body since my wedding dress four years ago.  There is something about the whole custom order concept that made me feel rich and I liked it.  It even has this really cool label inside that says "custom."

I'm excited to have a new dress and I'm also really excited that I finally did another outfit post.  How long have I been saying I wanted to do more?  Forever.  Note to self:  work on your posture.  I've been telling myself that for a long time too (and so has MJ).  I really need to get it together.

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