A Life That Doesn't Require Vacation

Oh my gosh.  This week!!!!  I was supposed to be all about stress packing and getting my work outs in but it didn't quite turn out that way.  I only managed two work outs, I met up with a friend and I had a friend over to do a Mary Kay consult.  She's a new rep so she needs to get a bunch in this month but she's not pushy so I don't have to worry about her trying to get me to buy stuff all the time.

Friends since 8th Grade // Do we look much different then we did in 2007?

I got a text from my really good friend that they were in town from Alaska.  I knew she was coming and that it was going to be a very tight window right before our trip where we'd have only a few days available to see each other but you know how things sneak up on you.  MJ and I met her and her husband at Mimi's Cafe for dinner.  She is really skinny and her baby is chunky.  She says her baby took her ass; and I think he literally did by way of breast feeding.  I mean, she is thinner then she was before she got pregnant and she got huge while she pregnant.  Some people are just lucky like that.  Anyway, it was so wonderful to catch up with her and her husband and kiss her adorable baby boy.  She's finally getting out of Alaska this year and I'm really hoping she moves back here.  It would be awesome to get my BFF back.

I started packing Sunday, MJ started packing last night and he STILL finished before me.  Typical.  With every vacation I get better and better about not stressing but something tells me I will never be as good as him.  I'm feeling okay but it's those few minutes just before I zip up my luggage to load it in the car that the major anxiety really hits.  I'll just be happy if I can zip the thing up.  It's stuffed but I don't think I over packed.  I've never had to pay a baggage fee since the airlines got really cheap and started charging.  I plan to continue that streak so one suitcase it is.

Our last two beach vacations were in November/December and none of the stores had bathing suits so when I needed a cover up or bikini bottoms to match a top I already had I had the search the ends of the earth to find what I was looking for. This time it's the beginning of Summer and I don't really need a bikini but every time I got to Target (which is entirely too much) I really, really want one.  That wall of bright colors calls out to me even though I dread the thought of putting one on and looking in the mirror.  I'll get one next trip but with my luck it will be winter, I will not have planned ahead and I won't be able to find one without spending an arm and a leg.  Such is life.  You will be seeing pics of me in the same bikini from five vacations ago.

We went to Maui in December but it already feels like a lifetime ago and just six months later I already feel like my life depends on having another vacation.  Someone tweeted a post a few weeks ago that kind of irked me for some reason.   Instead of desperately looking forward to your next vacation why not create a life in which you do not need a vacation from your life?  Okay.  So basically, my life clearly isn't awesome enough because I need a vacation and since I need one so bad then maybe I need to re think my life choices and consider planning a life that doesn't require one.  Does a life like that even exist?  Even rich celebrities who make their living doing things they love and have servants need a vacation from their life sometimes.  Right?  Or am I just doing life all wrong?  Well I definitely need a break from work and the daily grind but the other part of it is that I love traveling.  Even if my life were so called perfect enough to not need a vacation I'd probably still want to see other parts of the world.  Oh wait.  If I were savvy enough to create that perfect life then traveling would be part of my job so I wouldn't need a vacation for that reason either.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read into that tweet way more then I should have.

I don't have a maid to clean my house, a personal assistant to run my errands and a job I would do for free so I'm off to do the next best thing.  Vacation.  I will eat like a pig, drink like a fish and let someone else clean my room while I lay on a beach in Cancun.  I won't be posting for the next week (which is not entirely unusual) but if I have wi-fi I'll be on Instagram.

Making Friends is Hard

On Friday I got a group of girls together for dinner.  I planned it well in advance and it took some texting to nail down a date.  Everyone is so busy.  It had been so long since I had some girl time that I wanted us all to hang out and catch up.   It's a really big deal for me that this dinner was put together by me.  All of these girls have met before and the one common thread they have is me.

It's a big deal because I never was one to have a lot of friends.  And by friends I don't necessarily mean people who you actually see or even talk to all the time.  I mean the kind of friend where no matter how much time has passed when you meet again you pick up where you left off.  The kind of friends that you feel a connection to stay in touch with even if sporadically.  Facebook only doesn't count.

I always had this idyllic notion of having a group of best girl friends that I met either in high school or college.  It didn't have to be a lot.  Just a group of 4 or 5.  Or even less.  I value quality over quantity.  We'd be like sisters.  The kind of close that you can only build with time and shared experiences.  We wouldn't have to have an activity planned to get together.  We'd hang out at each others houses.  We'd go on girls trips together and then be bridesmaids in each others weddings.  You know, the kind of close knit friends that you see on TV where everyone knows each other.

Let's just say that didn't exactly happen for me.  Most of my high school friends disappeared when we were no longer scheduled to be together every day.  The whole gang of lifelong college friends thing didn't work out either.  My college was known for academics not parties.  To save money I lived in the on campus apartments and not the more social dorms for Freshman and Sophomore years.  After that I lived at home and commuted.  I didn't join a sorority.  I wasn't an athlete.  I joined a club towards the end of my Sophomore year but I was a day late and a dollar short.  Everyone already had friends and I was out of the loop.  I did a semester exchange in Atlanta my Junior year.  I finally got that dorm experience but everyone was from somewhere else and we didn't stay in touch.  

Between high school and college I made exactly two friends.  That's a grand total of 2 friends in eight years.  Then that thing called life happened and they ran off to other states.  My high school friend  now lives in Alaska.  My College friend moved to Georgia after graduation.  For a while my only friend was my big sister and then she moved too.  Not having friends made me feel like a looser; and lonely.  I was born, raised and still live in the same area.  What's my excuse?  Why doesn't anyone like me?  Being single didn't help.  If I wanted to go out to dinner for my Birthday I didn't have anyone to invite.  There was no one to call if I felt like going out for a drink.  Making friends as an adult is hard.  Work is hit or miss.  It can be hard to relate to people who are in different life stages. You meet people just here and there but it's not always someone you can really see yourself hanging out with.

My husband is my best friend.  That's what I'm calling him anyways even if he doesn't feel the same way about me.  Our relationship is great but it's very different from the kind of relationship that I have with girlfriends.  I need that outlet.  I need someone else with estrogen to chat with out life, love and shopping.  I made two more friends at my first job out of college.  Then another at the job where I work now.  It's taken time but along the way I've picked up a few more.  I'm kind of a homebody so I'm not looking to pack my social calendar.  I don't need a ton of friends; just a few good ones.  

That night we went to Lei Lounge.  I'm so glad my sister was able to come before she moved. It's this really cool restaurant that's partially outdoors.  There are vines on the wall, it lights up at night and they mix their drinks nice and strong.  I usually stick to wine but I went for the cocktails instead.  While we were at the bar battling for drinks before happy hour shut down I said to my sister;  I can't believe it.  I actually have friends.  It's kind of a new feeling for someone who is used to being friendless.  

I have so much fun when I hang out with girls.  It was kind of like a wedding reunion because all but one of them were there.  One of them was a bridesmaid.  I haven't known all of them since I was in diapers.  We are at different life phases.  We don't see each other all the time.  We don't talk all the time.  But they are people who have been placed in my life for a reason.  I like them.  They like me.  And I'm thrilled to be able to call them friends.  

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Holiday Par-tay

I have this thing about company holiday party's.  That thing is that I love them.  It's a fabulous night out that doesn't cost me anything so what's not to love?  At my job we just got a holiday luncheon during the work day.  Mj's isn't until January this year but my friend B invited me to hers.  I met her at Hotel La Jolla right after work on Friday, got myself all dolled up and then it was time to party.  This company went all out.  Cocktail hour with appetizers at a swanky hotel to start.  Filet Mignon for dinner.  Dessert bar and a DJ next door.  Oh, and just in case you overdo it on the all night open bar they throw in a hotel room for the night.  I've spent 6 months and then 5 months apart from Mj back to back so it felt kind of silly that I was going to miss him even thought it was just one night.  I felt sad for some reason that he was going to be home without me but not sad enough to stop me from going.  We each do our own thing and we don't have to be together all the time; nor should we.

The cool thing about going to someone else's holiday party is that you can act a fool and you don't have to see those people on Monday morning at work.  When you are the friend your husband doesn't have to see those people at work either.  You can dance like nobody is watching even though the room is full.  You can drink too much and laugh way too loud.  Not that I did any of that of course, but I will say that open bars tend to have quite an effect on me.  We both had a really fun time.  Maybe too much fun.  The next morning we stayed in the room right until the very last minute for check out recovering and then I felt sluggish for the rest of the day.  I definitely don't bounce back like I used to so it's a good thing I don't do this all the time.  Every now and then it's fun to really let loose like that though so it was worth it.

If you haven't entered my giveaway yet the last day is tomorrow.  Go here to enter.

 

I'm Not the Hostess Type

Fancy Cheese Platter

Anybody who knows me personally knows that I am not a cook.  Heck, if you read this blog you know that.   I want to WANT to cook and bake but I just don't.  I think life is simpler without it.  No grocery shopping, no kitchen clean up, no dishes, no dishwasher loading and unloading and no worry about letting ingredients or left overs go bad.  I have simple tastes so I don't have to eat out to compensate for not cooking.  I don't need much.  I've saved a ton of money on groceries since Mj has been gone.

When he goes out of town I get this bright idea to invite the girls over for a little get together which kind of makes sense but doesn't.  On the one hand it's the perfect time to take over the house with the girls but on the other hand he's the one who would know exactly what food to serve at a party.  He told me that if I ever wanted to have a party he'd plan the menu and prepare it as long as I help but I always do it when he's gone so my poor guests are left with me.  Whenever I try to come up with things to serve I draw a complete blank.  I can't deal with anything too complicated.  For me that means anything with more then five ingredients.  I saw a $19.99 family meal deal from Pat & Oscars and it was tempting, but I couldn't go out like that so I came up with something.

It's not like it was a big deal or anything.  I only had four friends over.  But still, I made a stress run to the store that morning.  You know the one that happens when you get paranoid and go buy stuff  for 'just in case' that you end up not even using.  I worried about what to make, if there would be enough and if my guests would like it like every hostess does, but I think I did pretty good.  I had a fancy looking cheese and fruit platter, tortilla chips and salsa, green salad, pasta salad with Italian dressing and Turkey Meatballs.  I did not make the meatballs myself; they were frozen but really tasty.  I am most proud of my Pillsbury Crescent snacks because they were a little different and I actually had to put them together and bake them.  They didn't look quite like the picture, but close enough and they tasted great.  Everyone had a good time and I got to see some friends; one of which I hadn't seen in a year!!!  It's crazy how that happens.

Source: pillsbury.com via CeCe on Pinterest

Two weeks ago I spent the night at my parent's house, then my parents spent the night at my sisters house, then last week my sister spent the night at my parents house so this time my mom and sister spent the night at my house.  Did you get all that?  Ha!  Apparently we just really love taking turns spending the night at each others houses.  So my mom, sister and nephew came down for the party on Saturday, spent the night at my house and stayed all day on Sunday.  We had a lot of fun hanging out together.

The only thing about my weekend that sucked was having to cough up $480 bucks on my car for brakes.  That really hurts and there is a chance I got ripped off because I don't know any better but it had to be done.  I did not let it spoil my weekend.

My BFF

From the archives:  Oct 2007

I hung out with my best and oldest friend on Wednesday.  I don't mean old as in age but oldest as in I've known her since 8th grade.  We did gymnastics and cheer leading in high school together.  We were neighbors and she used to pick me up every day from school our Senior year in high school and we explored the night life of Tijuana together in college.  She's moved away and come back and them moved away again but we have always stayed in touch.  That's not something I can say about too many friends in my life.  She came to visit in 2009 and the last time I saw her was my wedding two years ago in 2010 and even then I didn't really get to see her, see her what with the whirlwind that day was.  

I got off work a little early so I could spend a few extra hours with her.   We met at the mall of course.  Shopping is our thing.  Then we went to dinner and she came over to see our new house, eat some dessert and see Mj.  She actually met him before I did and if it weren't for her we wouldn't have even met.  She gave me the best gift ever the day she met him while they were both in Arizona and told him "Hey, you need to meet my friend."  She's that friend that you can meet up with to go shopping at Walmart or invite over to watch old 80's movies in your pajamas.  That friend that you can talk for hours on end with about nothing and have no secrets from.  I've never had very many friends and even of the ones I have had in my life she's the only one who I have that kind of relationship with.  I feel like she's one of my sisters.   Chances are I won't see her for about three more years because now that she's finishing up her Army adventure she's moving to Alaska.  Yep.  Never a dull moment with her.  And wouldn't you know it I forgot to take a picture?  I was so mad when I realized that.  It was a really nice visit and it was so good to see her.  It's a bummer that we don't get to see each other more often but I'm so glad to have a friend like her in my life. 

Another Baby Shower

Red Carpet Area.  She is clearly preggo but still in fashion.

Over the weekend my mom and I attended my friend's shower.  I actually wore a dress which hardly every happens!  I've known Eb for about four years now and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding.  She is the last person any of us thought would get pregnant next.  She's not really mommy crazy and never has been but she is happy about her little girl that is on the way and her and her hubby are getting ready for the major life change that is to come.  This is seriously one of the nicest baby shower's I've ever been to.  It was at a nice restaurant with a buffet of some very good food.  A pack of diapers got you a VIP party pass and they had a photographer set up in front of the red carpet for pics.  There were a few games, some prizes and really cute party favors.  The cake was Zebra print with Pink trim.

Mommy of honor

She got about a million presents.  Including not one, not two but three car seats!!  Which means there is one for mommy's car, daddy's car and grandma's car.  Eb is such a wonderful genuine person and it's clear just how loved she is by everyone who pitched in to help with her shower and everyone who showed up.  The cup cake centerpieces were adorable.  I think someone at our table thought maybe they were going to take one home but we helped ourselves and they were gone by the end of the party.  I had three but that's OK because they were mini's.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.  

Adorable centerpieces.  These are actually tiny frosted cupcakes.

My mom actually ended up staying the night and we had a nice time sitting outside in the backyard by the fire pit and chatting.  This is the year of babies among our circle of friends.  Of Mj's friends there have been three babies born this year already and there is one more due in November.  Everyone keeps asking if we are next and I'm sorry to disappoint but the answer on that one is no.  I won't be having my own baby shower any time soon if ever.  I have a one year old nephew and for us I'm thinking that's plenty.

Hostess with the Mostess?

I've never been the hostess type.  Homebody type maybe, but never hostess.  I think years of tiny living spaces and my aversion to cooking made it something I've just never been into.  Mj is out of town again so I figured it would be a perfect time to invite some ladies over for a little get together.  It's amazing how much prep was required just for my small group.  I did my grocery shopping Saturday.  I woke up Sunday morning and cleaned, got into the kitchen, then ended up running to the store again because I was afraid I didn't buy enough tortilla chips.  It's so hard to tell how much people are going to end up eating or drinking.  I was ready by 2pm.  It was a pretty last minute decision and a very small group but it turned out well if I do say so myself.

So what does a non hostess serve to her guests when her much better at hosting husband who cooks is out of town?  Surprise, surprise, but not EVERYTHING came from the frozen foods aisle.  Only some of it.  One of my girlfriends didn't even think I'd have any actual food but she totally underestimated me.  Ok, so it wasn't anything nearly as fancy as Mj would have come up with but I think I did a pretty good job.  It was actually nice being in control of the food because I got to make it so that everything was pretty healthy.  I put out tortilla chips and put together a cheese and crackers spread for starters.  I bought some Jose Ole Chicken Taquitos and Garlic Parmesan Flat Bread that I was able to pop in the oven for 10 minutes.  I made two side dishes.  Baked red potatoes in the oven and whole grain pasta salad with light Italian dressing.  For dessert I bought two kinds of pound cake (one in a Sugar Free version) and light Vanilla ice cream and we had plenty of wine flowing from start to finish.  Easy and simple works for me.

We listened to music and got caught up on what everyone has been up to.  We are all so busy with work and life that we often go a long time without getting together and when we finally do it's usually happy hour so it was really nice to have them over hanging out at my house.  We've been in our house a year and some of them hadn't even seen it.  Oops, I just realized I forgot to put out the salsa!  Oh well.  Everyone had a good time and enjoyed my offerings despite my novice hostessing abilities.  I would never be mistaken for the hostess with the mostess but I work with what I got and it's good enough for me. 

Way Too Much Fun

This is me holding onto my ancient cell phone before the incident although I imagine I didn't look too much different afterwards.  I certainly felt a heck of a lot better that's for sure.  My friends and I met up for happy hour/club night at our favorite local spot on Friday night to celebrate a birthday.  What with moving and wedding planning I hadn't really been out with the gang in a long time and I've been looking forward to it for weeks.  Everyone is so busy living their life that these outings have become fewer and far between.  We drank, ate, laughed, danced and had a grand old time.  Just like old times.  There was wine, champagne, and then a shot of patron that magically appeared in front of me.  When I say I had way too much fun I mean I found myself in the ladies bathroom with my head over the toilet at the end of the night.  I was having fun and feeling great....until I didn't.  I can't remember the last time that happened and if everything goes according to plan this incident will soon be a long forgotten memory as well.  I swear there have been plenty of times that I drank way more then I did that night and had a totally different outcome.  Oh yeah...didn't I just say that it had been a long time since I went out like that? Perhaps that would explain said inability to hold my liquor.   That combined with a sort of empty stomach sealed my fate but it certainly didn't ruin my night.  I was able to pick up right where I left off minus the booze plus lots of water for the last hour that we were there.  And no hangover the next day thank you very much!

Anyhow, I had a blast hanging out with my friends.  Yeah, yeah, yeah I may be way too old for such shenanigans but hey...it happens.

Ladies Only Monday Night Football

Last night a girlfriend and I got together for Monday night football and homemade pizza night. Her husband is gone a lot for work and my man is out of the country so we end up watching football alone the majority of the time (among other things). She is such the creative Susie home maker type. She is my idol!! When I got there she already had the dough made. Whole wheat made from scratch no less. Our primary topping was chicken that she cooked and seasoned herself. Not the Tyson pre-cooked kind that I wanted to bring. Our other toppings included olives, onions, tomatoes, feta cheese and basil. She didn't have a roller so the crust puffed up quite a bit, but I liked it that way. It was like deep dish style and I love me some bread. We had Budweiser Select 55. Two each thank you very much. It's like how low can you go when it comes to light beers. They have one upped Miller 64 and seeing as how I can't tell the difference I'll go for the lower calorie count brand every time.

This particular game wasn't all that exciting so we were chatting through most of it. It was a really fun time. It's nice to have great girlfriends to hang with and while I don't have a lot I really appreciate the ones I do have. There was a time when I really didn't have any friends at all and so I realize the importance of having these wonderful women in my life. There was also a time just two years ago when I didn't understand football at all. It seemed so complicated and confusing for some reason so I usually just tuned it out and wrote it off as something I just didn't get. But I finally said, if you can't beat 'em join em and I starting asking questions and really paying attention when football was on TV. Now I can really enjoy watching it along with everyone else. I'm not just cheering because everyone else is...I actually know what's going on.

To me watching a football game is a little mini social event and the whole experience is enhanced by having food AND friends. At home or at a bar, it's so much better shared then watched alone. Monday night football was a blast. Just the girls.

Make New Friends But Keep The Old

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold." We used to sing that song in Girl Scouts. I don't know about the whole silver and gold thing but it's so true about keeping the old friends.

My oldest and best friend was in town over the weekend. We had such a great time yesterday hanging out. She hasn't been home for an actual visit since she joined the military about two years ago although, I did see her when I went to go visit my sister in May earlier this year. No matter how much time or distance has passed between us it's just like old times when we do finally get together again. I picked her up around 3:30 and we drove downtown to grab a bite to eat but not before walking into a tiny boutique "just to get change for the parking meter" where we happened to do a little shopping on the way out! After that we walked over to the mall and shopped some more there. From store to store constantly talking along the way about anything and everything. No topic is off limits. There is really nothing that we don't feel comfortable talking to each other about.

We bought Ugg's at Nordstrom's and wore them right out of the store. The sales lady was getting really irritated with us because we kept asking her to bring out different ones and couldn't make up our minds! I got the short ones even though she tried to convince me that the tall ones looked better. Good thing too, because we spent the rest of the now chilly night on our feet. The casual daytime atmosphere has been replaced with a night time party vibe. The sound of loud music filters out as we walk past club entrances where the bouncers in all black have taken up their positions for the night. We went to a coffee shop for mocha frappuccino's and gelato. Then, wandered aimlessly about the city wandering into whatever little store that caught our attention. We didn't leave downtown until about 10:00. Oh, boy can we ever hang out!!

When it comes right down to it I don't have a whole lot of friends and of the ones I do there aren't too many that I could do that with. We had a great time remembering old times and catching up on new ones too. We've been friends since 8Th grade. We did cheerleading and gymnastics together and lived in the same neighborhood for years. She used to pick me up for school every morning in her old blue Corolla and I will never forget our wild party phase when Tijuana twice a week was standard. We are very different in personality but have always gotten along. Our lives have taken so many twists and turns over the years. We have drifted apart and been in and out of touch over the years but have always maintained our friendship nonetheless.

Incidentally, she just so happens to be the person behind setting me up with Mj. She took one look at him at a random chance meeting in AZ of all places and knew that he would be perfect for me and she was right. It is only fitting that my oldest and dearest friend would set me up with the love of my life. I am very disappointed that she won't be at our wedding. She'll be back home for Christmas and then after that I won't see her again until 2011. She'll be spending 2010 in either Iraq, Kuwait, or Afghanistan-wherever the Army decides to send her. It'll be nice to have her back for good in 2011.

Regardless of how little we might speak or how few times I see her I know she thinks about me just as I think about her. It's just that kind of rare and true friendship. I am so glad that we have stayed in touch over the years and I know that we always will.