I Don't Really NEED Valentine's Day

I am not one of those people that believes that Valentine's Day is this made up commercial holiday that is forced upon us just to make money. Ok well, it kind of is, but forced is a strong word. We do and spend what we want ultimately, and if I believed that about Valentines day I would have to believe the same about a lot of other mostly meaningless holidays that we celebrate just for fun. Yeah, it's a money maker but I don't see anything wrong with having another day to show appreciation to your significant other. Yes, we can do it every day but why does it hurt to add one more in particular and call it Valentines day? I have been single on Valentine's Day and it did kind of suck, but it can only get you down if you let it, which I did. So glad those days are over.

The only reason I say I don't really need Valentine's day is because my Valentine makes me feel loved and appreciated every day and I hope he would say the same of me. We enjoy our time together doing something or nothing at all. It's not like Valentines day is our ONE day to do something together or do something nice for each other. We do that day to day anyways.

Just because I don't feel that I need Valentine's day doesn't mean I don't want to enjoy it. We don't expect anything grand or expensive from each other. I'm not going to pout if I don't get diamonds or jewelry, and I think women who do behave that way are ridiculous. There is no pressure here. More then any other holiday Valentine's to me is more about being thoughtful than anything else. In addition to beautiful flowers Mj got me these adorable customized M & M's with our names, little love notes, AND one of my favorite picture of us together on it. Yes. Our big faces on a tiny, tiny M & M. How adorable is that? Every time I look at them I can't help but giggle a little. There are three packs. We will eat two and the last one will never be opened because I want to save them forever. I got him some cuff links he's been needing, and his very own personalized foot and back massage coupon.

Today we went on a picnic at a park where you can watch the airplanes coming in for landing at the nearby airport. The east coast is getting pounded with snow but it's 80 degrees here in February so why not? It's something we do anyways on bright and sunny weekends just to get out and enjoy the scenery. We didn't necessarily need Valentines day to do it, but it was a good excuse. I lay on the blanket staring up at the totally cloudless blue sky feeling the warm sun on my skin. We drank wine and ate sandwiches. I had my beloved Extra Sharp Tillamook cheese and crackers. We talked, laughed, and just enjoyed the day. There were families out spending the day with their kids and couples out walking their dogs. All I could think is that despite how stressed and busy things have been life is good. It's blissful moments like these that make everything worthwhile. Getting up and going to work everyday, and running around like a chicken with your head cut off on weekends trying to get everything done is all for moments like this.

Nope, we don't really need Valentine's Day to say I love you but we do it anyways just because.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Choices I make generally always come down to price and unfortunately my wedding is no exception. I've had to pick and choose what matters most to me focusing on those and letting the others go. For me that is venue and photographer. Our venue is a newly renovated hotel ballroom for the reception. It has a gorgeous garden area outside for the ceremony. I felt that if I could find a venue that was pretty on its own it would save me on additional decorating costs later. Generic maybe, but the price fit. It will be beautiful and also convenient for everyone especially our out of town guests to have everything in one spot. There were some amazing photographers I would have loved to have do our wedding starting at $2500 and up but I just couldn't do it. I like our photographer's portfolio and think I will end up with beautiful pictures. We are not doing engagement photos at all. I'd like to but just not sure if it's a must have considering budget. It might be fun to save that for a year we aren't spending so much on a wedding and I look forward to doing that and still being as in love as we are on our wedding day.  I stuck to a $500 or less budget on my dress and I really love it.

I will consider up lighting because we got such an awesome deal on our DJ in the first place that I might be able to fit it in. I didn't even know what it was until another blogger enlightened me-excuse the pun!   I really want chair covers because I can see just how amazingly well it transforms a room but may not because the chairs they use are actually OK. I was loving the look of tall elaborate centerpieces with fresh flowers but I am piecing together my own to cut costs. I am spending a little bit more on invitations then I thought I would because the cheap samples I got just looked....well cheap. I think I will go ahead and do the personalized table number cards and place cards because I found a decent price and feel it's one cute detail I can afford. I will forgo an additional Hors D'oeuvre at cocktail hour but may host a bit more alcohol.  I am telling myself that doing what I can is going to be A OK. It's not like my wedding is going to suck because there wasn't a fruit display in addition to the cheese or no chair covers.

Buying this house at the same time has added some extra pressure and provided some clarity on what's really important. Instead of Europe we will do Hawaii. We will have a good time wherever we go as long as we are together. Saving up money so that we can buy down our mortgage points for a more affordable monthly payment and getting our washer/dryer and refrigerator pales in comparison to having an extra dessert in addition to our wedding cake. Not that my wedding isn't important. Not that I don't want to provide a wonderful experience for our guests, but the fact that we are throwing this "party" and bringing everyone together in the first place is huge in itself. I will attend to the extras that I can but if not then so be it. The important thing and what I have always wanted is to have a beautiful event, have people that I care about there to celebrate this wonderful occasion, have a good time, and have great pictures to remember it all later.

Would I love to plan a no holds barred anything my heart desires wedding? YES!! But since that is not possible I will not sweat the small stuff. I will simply enjoy that fact that I get to do this at all and take pleasure in every moment. As far as I'm concerned the biggest thing missing from my wedding is likely to be my big sister and that's not something that even costs money. This wedding is not about the stuff it's about our love. And it's about our friends and family coming together to celebrate it.

Let Me Upgrade Ya

Today Mj and I woke up and left for work at the same time. Why is this significant? Because it's officially his first day back at work since November and the first day of his new job. He looked so cute in his button up shirt, tie and sweater. I almost had a nervous breakdown when he spent about $1,300 on work clothes Saturday. Yep. Over a grand. In one day. On top of the $350 he spent last week before he flew to VA for training. Oh, and this is supposed to be the first month of his new budget that will get us on track for buying the new house. He is not used to having to wait when he wants and/or needs something. Being on a budget sometimes means you can't get it all now and that is something that might take a while to settle in. It really rattled me but I can't get too mad about it because it is for work and suits are not cheap. It is also the extent of his shopping for work clothes for the year. Most of his work clothes are still in storage and he can't get to them until we move into the new house so he had to do something.

Speaking of which. They start building it on Thursday. We are going to go out to the site on Saturday and meet with the builder. We had our design browse appointment on Sunday and ended up with a whopping $10,137 dollars in upgrades. I thought our loan agent was crazy when she said that she was giving us $10,000 for upgrades. Yeah right! It adds up so fast that it makes your head spin though. Also, a lot of the so called up grades are less of an upgrade and more a basic necessity. Like a garage door opener. How are you going to sell someone a garage and not the automatic garage door opener part in this day and age? Oh, and who ever thought that medicine cabinets in your bathrooms or an extra clothing bar in your closet would be considered an upgrade? We did go for some upgraded carpet, kitchen appliances, and doors among other things which definitely added up but a lot of the upgrades that we got were just little things that they get you on that should probably come with the house in the first place. When all is said and done $10,000 only adds $100 per month to your mortgage. Not that I don't think every $100 counts but by the end of this process I just kind of threw my hands up and went with it. We will get what we want in the house and be done with it.

The paperwork on this is never ending. Bank statements, W2's, pay stubs, VA documentation, letters of explanation and it just goes on and on. We got this huge packet in the mail-half of which I don't even understand and had to sign just about every page. They are waiting on one last bit of information and then we will be officially submitted to the underwriting department for final review and approval of our loan.

It's been another busy weekend capped off with the Superbowl on Sunday. I really enjoyed watching the game with my family. I have a bit of a snack food hangover today so I am feeling slow and heavy which I hate. We were out all day and finally made it home around 9:00pm where I collapsed into bed just as soon as I could. I forgot to take my sleeping pill before getting into to bed and was too tired to get up and take it but I somehow managed to sleep ok without it.

Another busy weekend down and many more coming up.

Cont'd: Under Contract, Now Where's My Loan?

Heidi's Plastic Surgery Media Circus

There is something wrong with Heidi Montag. Or should I say Heidi Pratt? I feel sorry for her that she felt the need to go through all of this to feel Ok. I really think she is oblivious to how bizarre it is for a 23 year old to have had thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery including liposuction on a body that was never even close to being overweight or large. 10 Surgeries in one day!!!

Everyone has issues including myself. Admitting that you have issues does not necessarily justify or excuse your problematic behavior but it at least means that you have some sort of awareness about yourself. Heidi on the other hand is clueless. She says that she is "beyond obsessed" but then goes on to say that she will have more when the time comes. There are always little things that need fixing. Does she not see the problem with that? She says that she is a Christian but she poses in Playboy. She says that God only cares about what's on the inside but then she spends obscene amounts of money changing her outside appearance. She justifies these surgeries by saying that it's necessary because she is trying to be a Pop star but SHE CAN'T SING!! I am still amazed that she feels her triple D's are still not large enough for her. She's whittled her body down so much that I'm surprised she doesn't topple over when she struts along in her little high heeled shoes.

I haven't watched The Hills in a while but I have heard little tid bits about her baby obsession. If she gains any weight during pregnancy I know she'll fix that with more plastic surgery but has she thought about what she is going to say to her child when he/she wonders why she looks so different in pictures pre 2006? Is she going to say, "Oh, I had my dumbo ears fixed but there is nothing wrong with yours. You are fine." Is this child going to feel the need go to a plastic surgeon too to fix any similar perceived genetic imperfections that she had changed on herself?

She says that she wants to talk about it and be honest about what she's done unlike so many celebrities who hide it from public view but I think she really just wants the attention. Not just wants it but NEEDS it and will likely do or talk about anything to get it. Her media blitz regarding the plastic surgery started with People magazine and continues here in an interview with Access Hollywood. Her nose is so incredibly tiny and pert-almost freakishly so. Modern medicine certainly is incredible indeed.

I can only imagine the pressure that those in the public eye must feel to be "perfect." It's got to be very difficult but my goodness could she have at least waited until she hit her 30's to take such drastic measures? She even had her eyebrows arched. I hate to see her in her fifties. When people have gone too far you can tell and it really starts to look freakish especially as they get older.

Unless she had plastic surgery on her vocal cords I don't think this is going to do too much to help her career as a singer. It will keep her in the public eye for a while and when the interest dies down she'll come up with something else to stay in the spot light and keep her "Star status" no matter how tenuous.  I wish for anyone that has a dream to be able to go after and hopefully achieve it. I don't think she can sing at all but I certainly can't blame her for giving it her best shot and going after what she wants to do.

Her and Spencer seem to be really good at keeping people talking. Like it or not reality TV has made her a Reality TV Star and her plan to stay there seems to be working. At least for now.

Bridal Party Drop Out

My older sister who was supposed to be my maid of honor has been officially kicked out of my Bridal Party. She's pregnant and although I have heard stories of bride's kicking pregnant ones out of their wedding party because they don't want their pictures "ruined" that's not why I'm doing it.

I had to kick her out because she may not be able to come at all. She is a high risk pregnancy because she is older and has fibroids. She is due August 24Th and will likely be put on bed rest at some point during her pregnancy so it is unlikely that she will be on a plane around July 10Th when I get married. She still is saying "we'll see" but I doubt it and I don't think either one of us needs the pressure of worrying about if she will be in it or not. If she does make it somehow I will be thrilled to have her there whether she is in the bridal party or not.

I am so incredibly disappointed by this. So is she. She lives in a podunk town, hardly has any friends, and was really looking forward to a visit back home. I have to look at the bigger picture though. She had two miscarriages and has desperately wanted a baby for a while now. This baby being born healthy takes precedence over anything else. I am finally going to be an auntie. It's about time one of us gave my parents some grand kids! I am happy for her even if it means she will miss a very special day in my life.

I currently have 3 bridesmaids. My longtime friend from college who now lives in Atlanta and a good friend who currently works for the same district as I do. My little sister will be my maid of honor now. Mike also has 3 stable groomsmen he can count on being there. He has a fourth that may or may not be able to make it so whether or not I ask a 4Th person to be in it will depend on that.

It's funny because I originally didn't even think I would have bridesmaids. I'm not a queen who requires "attendants" surrounding me. I didn't want anyone to have to go out and spend money on a dress just for me. That's why it was really important that I find cute re wearable dresses for them. I wish it were not $135 but for coordination purposes it just seemed simpler to go with David's Bridal. Once I started planning it just felt right to have my close friends and sisters to be part of this. I want that memory of them standing up there with me on my wedding day. I'm not into having an army of bridesmaids just because.

I never wanted a huge bridal party but I really did want my big sister there.

On Shaky Ground

I felt the earthquake yesterday but it seems like no one else but me ever does. I was laying in bed when I felt it rattling beneath me. At just the moment where I might have started getting scared and was really wishing that hubby were here and that I was not alone it stopped. I have felt shaking before and usually figure I must be imagining it but I was totally validated when I heard that it happened at 6:19am, was a 5.5 on the Richter scale and based out of Rosarito, Mexico. I am a regular seismograph.

My life is feeling a little shaky right now too. House hunting has taken over my life to the point where I am just plain old worn out. The contract is signed, the financing is -hopefully- secured and we have our final design browse appointment Sunday. Yes, super bowl Sunday and it's a 1 1/2 drive!! It was the only time we could get with hubby being out of town this week and the one right down the street being closed over the weekend.

Oh, and get this. A foreclosure property that fit our price range came up yesterday. It has a deck and looks pretty nice from the four pictures we saw. It has fees but they are low and it's right in the middle of a lush golf course. It would mean doing that nasty commute but it's priced lower then the new house. Timing is everything. It was comforting to hear Mj say he still likes ours better because all of those what if's started running through my mind. I hate that feeling of second guessing yourself and wondering if you made the right decision. Especially on something so HUGE!!

I do expect things to calm down now that a decision is made but there are still so many variables. And the number crunching continues. What will our final interest rate end up being? How much does it cost to lock the loan rate? How much of the interest rate will points buy down? How many of those darn points can we buy? It's crazy how you have to sign your life away and pay $3,000 up front when all you can see of your so called house is a pile of dirt and there are still so many variables that will have a major impact on our monthly payment. They can't even tell us exactly when the house will be done so we can move in. We have heard April and May. All we really know is that it will be about 60 days after they pour the foundation. Whenever that is. Sigh.

This is a good thing. I can't wait to move into a HOUSE!! But it's scary too and I am just hoping for the best.

Cont'd:  Let Me Upgrade Ya