Let Her Eat Cake

Having a baby is no joke.  You first must host this child inside your body for 9 months and watch your stomach get bigger then you ever thought possible.  Your body goes through all kinds of changes, hormonal and everything else in between, and then you have to either push it out or have it surgically removed.  The miracle of life is beautiful and all but still-I shudder at the thought.  My poor big sis went through a lot to bring her little man into this world.  She had a hard time getting pregnant in the first place, had a miscarriage, then had fibroids removed to try getting pregnant again.  Once she did get pregnant again those fibroids grew right back with a vengeance causing her painful early contractions.  Then on top of that-gestational diabetes.  Not just the kind that requires diet modification.  She had to actually do daily insulin injections.  She LOVES to eat and HATES needles so this was very hard for her.   But she did it so she could have her healthy baby boy.

The Pastry Chef goes to work

Mj volunteered to make her a sweet sugar filled cake after she had the baby.  He doesn't make the kind that comes out of the box.  He makes the whole darn thing from scratch including the frosting.  The last one he made in June was one of the best cakes I've ever had.  He is very serious about his cakes.  He does research to come up with just the right recipe and he wants it to be just right.  Big sis requested double chocolate so he spent Friday evening making it so we could bring it to her on Saturday.  It turned out just lovely!

Double Chocolate Cake 100% from scratch

We drove to mom's house where big sis is staying on Saturday afternoon.  We all oohed and ahhed over this cake and my mom went out to get ice cream and milk to go with it.  The three of us went to a late lunch and when we got back it was CAKE time and this cake did not disappoint.  The bad news is that she might still have diabetes even though it is supposed to go away after mom delivers.  She is waiting on her test results right now.  The good news is this little guy gets cuter by the day.  We do plenty of oohing and aahing over him too.

He is so sweet!  Four weeks old.

DJ hates his pacifier.  He eats and then his eyes get all droopy as he falls asleep.  His yawns are so big and he makes the most adorable funny faces.  Even Mj finally broke down and wanted to hold him.  As cute as he is he is a lot of work but big sis is embracing her new role as a stay at home mom and I know she will be a good one.

New mom and baby.  Two weeks after C section.

As for that cake.  As good as it was I'm glad it's not in our house because I already know I would eat way too much of it.  I already have my birthday cake request in for April and have already decided that I don't care how much of that one I eat.

I'm An Auntie

Two new aunties!  Me and lil' sis

Isn't he just the cutest?  I am in love already! 7lbs 9 oz

Apparently there is nothing predictable about child birth.  Even when you schedule it to be induced.  My sister got to the hospital around 8:30am as she was told.  She didn't get her first round of inducing drugs until sometime after 10:00am and by 11:30pm that night was not dilated at all!  No contractions.  No nothin'.  We were all expecting this thing to get going but it was going very slowly and she was only going to be allowed liquids until after she has the baby.  She was uncomfortable, exhausted, starving and beyond ready to get this boy OUT!!

We left the hospital around 11:30pm when it was clear that nothing was going to happen any time soon.  So we thought.  We went home to get some sleep and about two hours after we went to bed we get a call from her husband that they are doing a C section.  Like NOW!  She had finally dilated to about 1" and was having some contractions after we left.  DJ was showing some signs of distress so without further delay they sent her into surgery.  We tiredly got dressed again and headed back to the hospital to wait.  We got some snacks from the vending machine to keep us occupied then proceeded to fall asleep in our chairs.  They took him out at 2:45 am.  They checked him out and one by one we got to see him.  And he is just precious.  He looks just like his daddy.  My sister is just fine and DJ is healthy and adorable.  It's just amazing.  I'm so happy for them.

We finally got to see our sister around 4:30am.  She was groggy and still high on pain killers.  We went home to get some rest around 6:00 am finally.  Then, went back to the hospital around 3:30pm so we could see him again and finally hold him.  So far he doesn't cry at all and right now he would rather sleep then eat.  I changed his diaper.  The last diaper I changed was probably about 20 years ago when my Lil sis was still a baby.  I left the hospital to go back home around 7:45pm.  I slept a little but my body did not appreciate going to bed at 6 in the morning when the sun is coming up so I was exhausted by the time I climbed into bed.  I took yesterday off but had to be at work at 7:00 am this morning. Thank goodness I am off tomorrow.

My sister gets to go home on Friday.  She slept here and there but she says she really needs about 8 hours of sleep to recover.  I don't think she's going to get it.  She is breast feeding so she has months and months of sleep deprivation ahead of her.  I'm sure it's so worth it to her when she looks at that sweet little face.  It's so great that she will be close enough to benefit from the support of her family.  We can't breast feed but there are plenty of other things we can do to help.

She's Having A Baby Alright

We got some awesome news last week. My sister will not be going to Vegas after all. She will be staying right here in So Cal! The military screwed up and when her hubby went to check in he was told, "You aren't going to Vegas." All of their things had already been shipped out there and now they have to get those back as soon as they figure out where they're going to live. Yes, it kind of threw them for a loop but I am really glad she is going to be so close.

Me and my big sis

Her baby shower was Sunday at my mom's house and it turned out really nice. We spent most of the time outside and basked in the perfect 72 degree weather. She got tons of gifts and hung out with some friends she hasn't seen in a while. My mom invited her friends from work and a few of my friends came. When I got home Mj asked me why I didn't bring him any food and I told him the truth. "We ate it ALL." And we enjoyed every bit.  I can't believe that this tiny little person who can't talk, walk or even sit up needs so many things!!! She's been wanting this for a long time and is so happy and I am happy for her.  And of course my mom is thrilled that one of us is finally going to give her a grandchild.

Presents!!

I think babies are cute and precious and all that good stuff but I am not really a "baby person." They give me a maternal pang when I see them and hold them but for the most part it usually ends right there. I've never wanted to baby sit or had an instinctive desire to be a mother for that matter.  I'm not sure if I'll ever have one of my own, but in about a week I will have a nephew which is totally new to me. I've not had too many babies in my life since my little sis stopped being a baby a long time ago so it will be interesting to see how how that's going to feel.

Next Tuesday is the big day and I'm so glad it's not me giving birth. I'm sort of using my sister as a "test case."   What a difficult pregnancy it's been for her from trying to get pregnant in the first place, to fibroid complications to gestational diabetes.  She is more then READY to get this kid out.  After getting the inside scoop from someone who shares my genes and interacting with a baby so closely related to me, if I find that this whole baby business seems to be way too much then it could really help me make up my mind.   It might make me want to have a baby less then I do right now OR there is that slim possibility that it could have the opposite effect.   In which case I'd then have to convince my husband and that would be even harder then convincing me. 

Quality Time With Big Sis

I have adequately mourned the passing of my wedding.  No more planning to be done.  No more "So, how is the wedding going?" inquiries or "Bride to be" comments.  That's been replaced with "How was the wedding?" which allows me the opportunity to reminisce and relive my princess moment again and again.  I have paid homage to the magical event by posting blogs and pictures here and on face book.   I have carefully documented and analyzed every moment and every emotion which I will have saved forever.  I have reveled in the awesome memories and gotten closure on my cake.  We got gifts and did a little house shopping with our loot.  Accordingly, I think it's about time I talk about something else.  Bummer. I loved my wedding and being "The Bride" more after the wedding then I did before and as much as I would kind of like to do it all over again I can't.  It's kind of a one time thing.  I am still waiting anxiously for the professional pics and the video my little sis is making for us which will undoubtedly inspire another round of wedding talk but sadly I guess it's time to move on with other topics of interest. For now.

This past weekend was spent with my big sis.  She came down and spent the weekend with me while hubby is out of town.  I wanted to spend some quality time with her before the baby is born and totally takes over her life-even more then he already has.  At 8 months she is about to pop and her belly is HUGE.  I got to really see and touch a pregnant belly up close for the first time.  It's surprisingly hard and it's amazing how her skin has stretched and her stomach has grown so much.  She is slow, tires easily, has swollen sausage feet, sometimes doesn't fit into booths, and can hardly reach her feet to put on lotion or socks.  She can only wear flip flops and sun dresses.  She can't sleep well and when the baby moves it feels like he's scratching at her insides.  Her thighs have developed cottage cheese for the first time ever and she has to give herself insulin shots and strictly monitor her diet.  Sounds a little bit like hell and I am in no rush to do any of that anytime soon and maybe not EVER. 

Saturday we saw Eclipse at the movies [even though she already saw it] and did a few errands.  Don't ask me how but somehow I managed to loose a 6 pack double roll package of toilet paper somewhere between Walmart and my car.  I went to the car to put all of my stuff in there while my sister stayed in the mall and when we got home later that day I realized the toilet paper was missing.  I know I walked out of the store with it.  Who looses a giant package of toilet paper in the parking lot?  Me.  We went to Denny's for dinner that night.  Apparently no one else quite recognizes what a true gem good old Denny's is aside from us so even though I can't get anyone else to go there with me anymore it was actually our top pick.  We stayed up late, well past her bedtime watching TV and talking up a storm.  There is no shortage of conversation or things to talk about when we are together.

Sunday we went to the mall so she could go to Mac Cosmetics and finally use the gift card I got her back in May for her B Day.  I had to re buy my toilet paper at Target.  So sad.  We went to dinner again-us sister's have never been into cooking-and then watched the movie we picked out at Blockbuster that turned out to be really bad.  We spent a lot of time hanging out on the couch in front of the TV.  It didn't matter what we did it was just nice to spend some quality time with my big sis again like we used to.   

Her dream of having a baby and being a stay at home mom is finally coming true. I am so happy for her and excited to have a nephew. This is the first baby in our family.  She finds out when she will be induced some time this week.  Things worked out about as well as we could have hoped.  She got to come to the wedding and mom has been loving having her back at home for a while.  She gets to stay out here and have her baby then her and her husband will be moving to Vegas where he got stationed which is a hell of a lot closer then where she was before.  She moved away 4 years ago and it's when we spend time together like this that I really realize just how much I miss having her around.  That might be the last time we get to hang out like that in a long, long time and it does makes me a little bit sad.  Her life is drastically changing but she will always be my sister and neither time nor distance or itty bitty babies will ever change that.

Good Family News

Originally my big sister was supposed to be in my wedding but instead she decided to get pregnant.  I mean really, how could she do this to me?  Only joking!   My sister is in her late 30's and she really wanted a child but was having a heck of a time getting pregnant and staying pregnant so I was really happy for her that it finally happened but crushed that she wouldn't be at my wedding. Not just because I want her there but because she already misses out on so much being far away from the family since moving away four years ago and this was just one more thing. A big thing at that. As it got closer and closer to the wedding things started happening that gave us hope that she would make it but always the pessimist I didn't count on it.  About a month ago she booked her flight and made it official! Not only will she be here on Sunday in time to come to the wedding but she will be staying out here until after she delivers her baby next month. My big sis is finally coming home and I can't wait to see her. Next challenge. Finding this very pregnant mama a dress!  Mom, Dad, Big Sis, Middle Sis (me) and Lil sis have not all been together in one place in about two years so it's going to be great to all be together again.

The other bit of good news came Wednesday. I got a message from my mom saying that she had news and to call her when I could. "News" is such a cryptic word.  It could really mean anything good or bad. My mom got her lab results back and she is a match for my dad. We really weren't expecting this because they don't have the same blood type.  I actually do and we all figured that if there was one person in the family that might be able to donate it would be me.  This is only the first step in a long series of testing that needs to happen prior to any kidney donation but it's a really good sign. My dad is #1 on the kidney donor list now and after two false alarms and a year on dialysis he is READY.   One could become available any day now but if that doesn't happen it's good to know that my mom can give him hers.

I am so looking forward to this nice long three day weekend. Tomorrow Mj and I are going to the fair-which I do every year and have always loved.  We pick up Mj's mom tomorrow night after that.  Then, I pick up my big sis on Sunday morning and then we will all head up to my mom's house for the 4th of July.  I don't know if we'll see fireworks but I know I'll be having lots of fun. 

I only have to work two days next week which is absolutely wonderful and then I get married!!

Bridal Party Drop Out

My older sister who was supposed to be my maid of honor has been officially kicked out of my Bridal Party. She's pregnant and although I have heard stories of bride's kicking pregnant ones out of their wedding party because they don't want their pictures "ruined" that's not why I'm doing it.

I had to kick her out because she may not be able to come at all. She is a high risk pregnancy because she is older and has fibroids. She is due August 24Th and will likely be put on bed rest at some point during her pregnancy so it is unlikely that she will be on a plane around July 10Th when I get married. She still is saying "we'll see" but I doubt it and I don't think either one of us needs the pressure of worrying about if she will be in it or not. If she does make it somehow I will be thrilled to have her there whether she is in the bridal party or not.

I am so incredibly disappointed by this. So is she. She lives in a podunk town, hardly has any friends, and was really looking forward to a visit back home. I have to look at the bigger picture though. She had two miscarriages and has desperately wanted a baby for a while now. This baby being born healthy takes precedence over anything else. I am finally going to be an auntie. It's about time one of us gave my parents some grand kids! I am happy for her even if it means she will miss a very special day in my life.

I currently have 3 bridesmaids. My longtime friend from college who now lives in Atlanta and a good friend who currently works for the same district as I do. My little sister will be my maid of honor now. Mike also has 3 stable groomsmen he can count on being there. He has a fourth that may or may not be able to make it so whether or not I ask a 4Th person to be in it will depend on that.

It's funny because I originally didn't even think I would have bridesmaids. I'm not a queen who requires "attendants" surrounding me. I didn't want anyone to have to go out and spend money on a dress just for me. That's why it was really important that I find cute re wearable dresses for them. I wish it were not $135 but for coordination purposes it just seemed simpler to go with David's Bridal. Once I started planning it just felt right to have my close friends and sisters to be part of this. I want that memory of them standing up there with me on my wedding day. I'm not into having an army of bridesmaids just because.

I never wanted a huge bridal party but I really did want my big sister there.

We Are Family

I load my bags into the back seat of my car and get in. I honk once like I always do as I make my U turn. They watch from the doorway. Two dark silhouettes outlined by the bright lights coming from inside the house. They wave and then close the door against the dark chilly night. There is a lump in my throat but it isn’t caused by sadness. I round the corner as I have done so many times before and the shadow of my childhood home rushes by me on the left and disappears behind me into the darkness. I set off on my drive home and quietly reflect on just how lucky I am. Those two people waving at me from the doorway are my parents and I have never once had reason to question their love for me or mine for them. It’s always been that way and the notion that I am very fortunate to have that is not lost on me. My two sisters are pretty great too. One is a creative fashionista going to College in the North and the other my beautiful and kind big sis who has re located to the South. I grew up with my big sister and her moving out of state has not shaken our closeness one bit. I take delight in seeing the poised and responsible young woman that my little sister has become. The painfully shy little gymnast flipping around the house is all grown up. I can’t wait to see what amazing things she is going to accomplish in her life. We are so very different and yet our parents girls and therefore the same. No matter how much space and time comes between us we will always have that sisterly bond.


My parents don’t live too far and I try to make sure to go up there regularly to visit. I am the only one of their girls who still can. My mom and I spend time together as any two best friends might. There was happy hour and the movies Saturday, shopping on Sunday, and plenty of just hanging out and talking in between. I couldn't ask for a better mother or friend. I am not sure why it never occurred to me before to ask but just before I left on Sunday night I wanted my parents to tell me the story of how they met. I could tell my dad was trying to fight the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he re counted the story of meeting my mom at a club in Detroit. His gruff exterior melts away as they take me along with them down memory lane. I can see how much they love each other in their exchanged glances as they smile at each other and chime in with their version of the events as they unfolded over 35 years ago. I try to picture my dad as the cool "older man." The handsome fit military man my mom describes him as and my mom as a young mother barely 20 years old. I should be so lucky to have so many years of marriage and shared experiences with my husband. There are so many secrets and history that I could never begin to understand that has kept their bond strong through the ups and downs of life and marriage. I know it hasn't been easy. My dad has not always been the easiest man to love. He is his own person. With time comes acceptance and understanding. His heart has always been in the right place and we love him as he is. As they speak of their early days my memory is jogged as fragmented and vague images of my childhood dart in and out of my mind so fast that they never fully materialize. A huge gold Oldsmobile with vinyl quilted seats, long cramped family road trips all the way to Michigan. A faded red door with peeling paint from a long ago house we used to live in. Just bits and pieces here and there but enough for me to know that I had a good childhood. I wish I could remember more. They were so very young when they started this family. I am grateful for all of the years of work and love that went into making a home for my sister’s and me.

My family is imperfect as all families and people are but we love each other and want the best for each other. That is what family is all about. There are people all over the world who were beaten, neglected, forgotten or otherwise unloved by the people that you most expect to love you unconditionally and I feel lucky that I haven’t ever had to experience that kind of pain. My parents have watched me grow over the years from a girl scout in pigtails with missing front teeth into the woman I am today. I’d like to think that I have made them proud. My parents and my sisters have always been there for me and I am comforted by the certainty that no matter what, they always will be. Just as I will always be there for them.