Place Cards and Final Details

My wedding is next week.  The fact that we have reached the point that I can say that really blows my mind and I didn't even really realize it until yesterday when someone at work asked me about it.  I'm not sure why the 10th just keeps sort of sneaking up on me like this but it has.  Shouldn't I be way more stressed and way more anxious right now?  Maybe it's still too early or maybe it STILL just hasn't quite hit me yet.  I still feel calm and not stressed out like I expected I would feel at this time.

MEETING WITH THE HOTEL
We had a meeting with the hotel last Thursday and went over some of the final details.  I still feel like there were things I forgot to ask.  All the prices have gone up since we originally booked it in December.  They probably went up in January but of course we get our contract prices.  We agreed to the $100.00 ceremony arch dressing which is basically tulle that they will drape over the arch.  No climbing on ladders for us.  We will host guest parking which should run us no more then about $100.00-$150.00. 

DIFFERENCE OF OPINION
We also settled on $888.00 in hosted beverages which is only about $675 pre tax and gratuity.  Damn taxes and tips are eating into my party budget.  I was very adamant that I only wanted to host alcohol and not soda.  Bottled water of course was out of the question.  Why use the money on that when they can drink free water if they don't want alcohol?  Hubby and the wedding planner were against me on this saying that more alcohol will get used because if someone wants soda but can't get it they just might get a drink.  Then there was also the designated driver point.  Won't we cater to them?  My answer was no.  Designated drivers can drink water.  If you want soda you can buy it.  Or...you can drink water.  I've been to plenty of weddings where nothing was hosted least of all soda pop. I am still not sure what the conclusion was on that one but I still feel strongly that it should be alcohol only.  Either way, when it's gone it's gone.  I forgot how small our reception room is and actually didn't even really know what it looked like because it was under construction when we booked the place.  It will fit exactly 80 in 10 person table rounds but not a table more. We might move to a bigger room which doesn't have the floor to ceiling windows that we like about the smaller one but it is bigger and has higher ceilings.  The room was bare and empty so it was hard to tell how it's going to look all jazzed up with linen covered tables and chair covers. 

SEATING CHART
As soon as we got home I started working on the seating chart.  I annoyed Mj by trying to ask him questions about where to seat his guests while he was trying to cook but to be honest there never is a really good time.  Time is ticking away and I need to get this done before I get even busier with other tasks.  I don't know his people like he does and he's certainly not going to sit down and draw little circles on a paper and go through the guest list and plug people in himself so he's kinda gotta work on my time for some things.  I managed to get force most of the info I needed out of him so it's mostly done. 
 
PLACE CARDS
I almost screwed up BIG TIME by waiting too long to order my place cards.  I realized just last week that the ones I was originally going to order were flat and I didn't want the added expense of using place card holders so folded was the only way to go. I had to search to find a reasonable price elsewhere...and fast.   I knew I was in trouble when I got an e mail saying my order would ship by 7/12/10 when my wedding day is 7/10/10!  Uhh..not going to work.  There would have been plenty of time if I didn't want them personalized which I do so I am now having to pay extra on top of the already too high $10.95 for rush shipping.  I so hate that because technically I dropped the ball on this one and it's gonna cost me.   At $35.95 the best price I found was at  Exclusively Weddings.com.  It would have been nice to have them in Pink and even have the guest names pre printed but both options were too expensive for me. I'm still cutting it close on this order but I am choosing to believe they will get here in time rather then stress out over it.

The planning and the countdown continues!

My Bridal Shower

I woke up really excited the morning of my shower.  Like a beautiful army those ladies came into my house bearing food, gifts, punch bowls, decorations, and lots of love. 

I heard little whispers here and there about party planning meetings and shopping trips.  It was kind of weird knowing all of this was going on around me and that it was all for me.  I didn't have to do a thing so I had no idea of what they were planning or the effort they put into it until they all showed up at my door and started setting up shop.  

My mom, and good friends De and Eb all got together and made my bridal shower so special.  And to think, I didn't even know if I'd have one at all.  The idea of people planning a party just for me seemed like a little much.  I didn't want them making a fuss.  I tried to tell my mom that I didn't need to have a shower but she wouldn't hear of it.  They all wanted to do this for me just because they care.

The Hostesses

I am not a big fan of games and accordingly they kept them to a minimum.   A fun activity we did is that on cute little recipe cards everyone was tasked with the charge of writing down a recipe for a good relationship.  Just girls sharing their relationship advice with the bride to be.  The last one and my favorite was where mom asked a list of questions about Mj and every time I got an answer wrong I had to chew a piece of dubble bubble.  I felt a little bit of pressure.  I'm about to marry the guy, hopefully I won't get them all wrong.  What turned out to be the funniest answer was how old Mj was when he had his first girlfriend. The answer was "Five" and my mom said she doesn't understand what this means but that Mj wrote that it meant he was a "straight pli-yah" We all had a BIG long laugh over that one as we explained to mom that it was Playa as in player!!  You can't plan perfectly hilarious moments like that!  They just happen and when they do...it's so much fun!  Most of the answers were things that I knew which was good but the rascal put some really tough ones in there that I would probably never even get.  Sadly, I have the memory of someone twice my age a really BAD memory and although I did get quite a few right a lot of them I only remembered the answer AFTER I was told. Hence the tired jaw, mouth full of bubble gum and some really funny looking pictures.

We all had a great time.  I got some nice gifts for me and some sexy gifts for me us.  All parties seem to have a natural end and when 5:30 pm rolled around everyone pitched in and started packing things up and cleaning up the kitchen.  Not in all the years since I moved out of my parents house have I ever in my life had any kind of party or gathering in any place I've ever lived.  So, this was extra special because it was my bridal shower and it was in our new house.

I am so appreciative of the hard work that everyone put into this to make it so wonderful for everyone.  We all have busy lives but they took time out to put this together and make it great.  I may not have a lot of friends but I have a few good ones and I'm so happy that I got to celebrate with them.

Wedding Make Up

For my wedding day make up I was planning to go to the Mac counter at Macy's or Nordstrom's.  I didn't budget for make up but I definitely knew I couldn't do it good enough myself so I figured that was the best solution. Mom however stepped in and was kind enough to offer to pay for a make up artist not only for me but my entire bridal party and my big sis.  Now I don't have to worry about rushing out and back to get my make up done because she will come to us and all of us will get glammed up together.  Not only will we look great but it will be fun for all of us.  I am so grateful that my mom is willing to do this for me. 

 I have had my make up done many a times for modeling but my mom has never had her make up professionally done and is really excited about it too. 

I knew that I wanted a smoky sort of dramatic eye and she incorporated that along with some blending of Pink eyeshadow to compliment my wedding colors.  I am going to use false eyelashes because they will show up great in pictures and if I'm going to do it I might as well go all out.  These are called cuties.  She didn't glue them in but just placed them along my lash line so I could get an idea of what they will look like.

  I'm going with a natural shade of light pink on my lips so my eyes will be the focus.  I never thought I could wear light pink lipstick-I just didn't think it went with my skin color.  She did them over three times until I finally made up my mind and agreed with her that what I originally thought I wanted was way too bright.  I want to look like me just way more glamorous and I think she did a very good job of doing that.

Things to Do:

• RSVP's-I finished chasing down mine but Mj has a few more he needs to hunt. Guest total is about 65 right now. 
• Meeting with hotel tomorrow to finalize details: Complete info packet.
• Schedule final meeting with the DJ: Decide on songs for dances/processional and complete packet.
• Make pre wedding and cocktail hour CD.  
• Put together guest favor boxes and fill w/candy.
• Work on day of timeline.
• Buy shoes, bracelet and possibly a tiara.  Mj's grandmother sent some beautiful jewelry to me and one of the necklaces and earring sets should work well.
• Buy place cards.
• Decide on and buy bridal party gifts.

On the day of the only thing I want to worry about is geting my hair done, picking up my flowers, setting up the reception room and getting dressed.  We are down to only 17 days until the wedding!  There are literally only two weekends left.  My bridal shower is this weekend and the first of out of town family starts arriving next weekend.  Something tells me I'm going to be very, very busy....as if I wasn't already!

I'm Not Made Of Money

But it would sure be a heck of a lot easier if I was.

I'm struggling a bit with this rehearsal dinner concept. What if we just went out to a restaurant and had everyone pay for their own dinner because we were simply tapped out financially? Not an option. We definitely want to treat our wedding party as a show of appreciation to them. To complicate matters there are out of town folks not part of the rehearsal that might want to come socialize with us before the big day. Can we pay for some and not all without being rude? What with expectations and all. I'm sorry to say it but I think that's the way it's going to have to be even though I feel a bit bad about it. It is a REHEARSAL DINNER after all so I am hoping that anyone not part of the rehearsal will not be offended if they have to pay their own way.  If anyone thinks that's rude...well, I don't know what to tell 'em 'cause that is the best we can do. We have to plan on keeping it small and maybe try to meet up with some folks afterwards if we can. Or they can just come and pay. We have to do what is within our budget. If it's all or nothing then I'd rather not have one at all, but I don't think totally missing out is the way to go.

Do I sound mean? Dare I say cheap? Oh well. I suppose it's just the stress associated with spending so much money on a single event and the frustration of getting ridiculous quotes just to sit our group down to dinner. I'm not trying to have a reception before the reception. Just a casual dinner with good food will do. I knew that even at best with all of my super powers of frugality kicked into high gear this would be an expensive undertaking and I don't regret it. We have saved, budgeted, planned, and I am thrilled with my efforts to keep this within a reasonable comfort zone.  I am very much looking forward to the festivities. It's just that now that we are so close to the end and my STICKER SHOCK has just passed the 10K mark and growing the enormity of our spending is hitting me. Just when you are already stretched to the limit financially having already put down deposits with your vendors, several remaining balances are due very soon, and in the home stretch of paying off your venue you now have all of these extras to come up with on top of everything else.

Buying a house within two months of our wedding has surely exacerbated this situation. Whose bright idea was that anyways? We've been spending money right and left on that and everything in it. That was a HUGE purchase and we are going to have a new mortgage every month as a reminder, but I don't regret that either. Some things, even very expensive things, are just worth it. Like this wedding. I am absolutely not made out of money but in the course of planning a wedding (and even in buying a house) you sort of get the feeling that you are supposed to be. There are so many extras financially that you must take on or feel you must do just because you wanted to have a certain something. Extraneous costs that just add up. You really get hit from all sides and it almost makes you feel like only rich people should do this, because it starts to feel like only they can reasonably afford it.

I know that some of our guests have costs associated with coming to our wedding and being in our wedding. They also have expenses to contend with precipitated by us. They are kind enough to travel and participate in our special day and I truly do appreciate it. As a host I WANT to treat them all to dinner as a show of appreciation, which technically we ARE doing at our reception, just not necessarily the night before. I wish I could pay for hotel reservations, airline tickets and bridesmaid dresses too.

When it comes down to it you either have the money or you don't. You either stretch your budget to make sure you fulfill all of your obligations or you don't. Let's just say I foresee a lot of stretching coming up in the near future. At least I'm already warmed up. I might be willing to stretch it but I WON'T break it.

How I Became A Three Ring Bride

People used to ask me why I had an engagement ring when I wasn't engaged and a wedding band when I wasn't married.  I suppose I would have wondered the same thing.  It wasn't planned.  It's just the way it turned out.

We didn't exactly do the ring thing the traditional way. I met Mj for the first time on March 15th 2008.  On June 29th he gave me a promise ring big fat diamond engagement ring look alike. This was not your typical one millionth of a carat promise ring that one might imagine and I'm not even sure that people do that anymore. But he did. He said that he knew we weren't ready to get married yet but he wanted the ring to be a show of his commitment to me and the relationship. My heart about melted and I have to say I was flattered, surprised, and impressed that he was gutsy enough to do that because it was so early on in our relationship. He may be four years younger then me but he was showing me that he wasn't just some young guy.  He was for real.  I was still at the phase where I knew he was special and I knew I was in love but I hadn't fully surrendered to the relationship yet mostly out of fear and some personal hang ups of my own. I refused to let it scare me off even though part of me wanted to run for the hills and accepted it considering myself lucky to be with someone that would do such a thing.

Besides, I couldn't say no to a ring that looks exactly like the one I'd always dreamed about having. It is just my style. I have never liked yellow gold and wore white even back in the days when yellow gold was most popular.  It's a good size without being too big.  I love it's elegance and simplicity. I love the sparkly diamonds on the side and the square shape and the way it sits up and...and well I love everything about it.

 

Ring #1 and #2
I was happier then I'd ever been in my life and had this incredible feeling of walking on clouds all the time.  Things just flowed with us.  We fit together in so many ways that being with him was always effortless and easy.  I knew without a doubt that I had finally met my soul mate and it felt great.  Then in August comes the crushing news that he would be deployed for almost a year overseas.  In November he sent me a text message that said "let's elope."  I guess you could call that his proposal!  We knew that we wanted to get married and we decided that we would have the wedding....AFTER he got back.  He commemorated our engagement with a diamond wedding band.  We WANTED to get married in 2009 but he was to be gone for most of that year so we had to wait but as soon as he got back we started planning for this year.

I got the band sautered onto the engagement promise ring when he bought me the third ring a couple weeks ago.  I also had them re coated so they would be all shiny and new for the big day.   I wish I'd sautered them a long time ago.  I have skinny fingers and big knuckles so my ring size is bigger then my actual finger causing the rings to twist around taking away from the beauty of the set.  Now, the diamonds are always lined up and you can't even really tell it's sautered.  Not one to procrastinate I got his ring in 2008 and he's been waiting all this time to be able to wear it. It's a pretty and simple white gold band with a ring of brushed white gold down the center.  He didn't want diamonds.  Needless to say I got off pretty easy. 

I told him he didn't have to get me wedding band #2/ring #3 when we had the wedding but he really wanted to. I was worried that it would be too much bling, too much money right now, and I really do love my rings just the way they are but he insisted. And I let him. When it comes down to it I really love diamonds and I am not gonna argue too much about getting more of them. When I put all three of them on they really stand out and look so brilliant and beautiful. I never get tired of looking at diamonds and I don't see myself ever getting tired of looking at these rings. I have exactly what I want. I certainly won't feel the need to "upgrade" on our 10 year anniversary.

Ring #3

So, that is how I came to be a three ring bride with triple ring bling.  I got an engagement ring as a promise, a wedding band to engage me, and another wedding band to tie the knot.  I know none of this is about the ring.  I would be with him and marrying him even if he couldn't afford to get me anything at all.  I am marrying the man not the ring afterall, but it sure is nice to have rings you will love and treasure forever from the one you love and want to BE with forever that symbolizes your foreverness [Yes, I made that word up].  I've been wearing two stunning rings for going on two years and Mj still hasn't gotten to wear his one.  But very soon we will both be wearing them together.

Oh yeah...I'm getting Married Next Month

Right about Wednesday of last week it occurred to me.  Oh yeah, I have a wedding to finish planning. Somewhere in the middle of trying to close on a house, move, and furnish said house wedding planning got put on the back burner.  But, I am back in full wedding planning mode with as dash of house business on the side.  We still need to make sure that the house is ready to accommodate our out of town wedding guests plus, I'm anxious to get our house together the way I want it.

The first thing I did is write out our wedding ceremony script.  A bridesmaid's husband will be our officiant.  As an "officiant virgin" he has no idea what to do so it's up to us to get everything mapped out for him.  I cut and pasted wording from a variety of different websites and added some of my own writing to round it out.  I want the words to be meaningful and make a statement about love and relationships-the very reason we are standing there in the first place.  I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out.  Mj and I will each write our own vows to each other which we won't hear until the moment we say them at our wedding. 

Next, I ordered our black silk flower petals and our wedding guest favors from efavormart.com.  Originally, I was going to do bookmarks but when I saw these cute little pink personalized boxes for $39.99 I decided to get them instead.  I found a  5 pound bag of pink candy hearts to fill them with from candywarehouse.com for $19.50 for a grand totoal of $60.00.  There are 1,100 pieces per pound so I'm thinking that will be PLENTY.  The 500 black silk flower petals were only $4.99 and they will be used to scatter on tables around our centerpieces.  I already bought some pink one's at Michael's along with larger good sized round vases, LED lights, and pink stones I needed for my DIY centerpieces.  Aside from the carnations those are ready to go and should run me about $80 dollars total.  I'm glad I took the time to do most of my research on what I would need months ago because now as we get closer to crunch time all of the information I need is right there waiting for me.

Not only do we feed guests at our wedding we also have to feed folks the night before after our rehearsal so I'm looking for rehearsal dinner locations that won't break the bank. We are going to have to limit numbers.  I would like to include everyone who comes from out of town but that may not financially feasible so we will have to see how we can work that out.  I am definitely looking for something casual and inexpensive.  We can save the formalities for the day of.

I picked up two very important items as well.  My dress and my rings.  The dress still fits after alterations which is a good thing and I still love it as much as I did the day I picked it out.  Actually, I wish it were just a little bit tighter.  I am nervous about being in a strapless and feeling the need to tug it up all night.   I am wearing a regular strapless bra but I might shop around for some other options.  It's nice to have a place to actually put this massive dress now that we have extra closets.  And my rings are beautiful!  All three of them.

I will be scrambling this week trying to track down black pin on flowers for my bridesmaids to wear on their dresses from David's Bridal.  I figured I would just get them and it turns out they are pretty scarce and if David's orders it I won't have them until after the wedding!  My bridesmaid from Georgia tracked one down there and now I just have three to go.  I also need to add our officiant to our tux order since he wants to wear a tux for the ceremony.

Apparently no one is even coming to this little shin dig I've been planning all year.  Tracking down RSVP's is also on my to do list for the week.  I am back into wedding planning mode and ready to take it all the way to the finish line which incidentally is IN 34 DAYS.  Time really snuck up on me but I'm in a good place to pick up right where I left off and get things done.

The Minimalist Bride

There are a lot of things I'm not doing for my wedding.  We aren't doing engagement photos. There will be no out of town bags, petal tosses, programs, menu cards, bathroom baskets, or monograms just to name a few.  But, I will spring for chair covers to liven up our venue and I am hoping to host some extra alcohol for our guests.

I am now and have always been low fuss, simple, easy to please and all about business when it comes to budget. It turns out that my wedding is no exception. The invites I found online were simple yet elegant and I refused to spend more then I was comfortable with.  I started out planning on only 2 bridesmaids and having them pick their own dresses. I ended up with 4 and coordinated dresses just because ultimately I think it's much easier on everyone involved.  I was debating if we should have a rehearsal dinner but I am pretty sure I will because it will be nice for family and friends to get together and so everyone feels comfortable the day of.  I am on a mission to find a very budget friendly location.   I didn't even know if I would have a bridal shower.  Someone wants to plan a party for lil' old me?  Not that I didn't want one I just feel funny about people making a fuss over me.  I didn't go to any bridal bazaars or look at bridal magazines.  I picked out my wedding dress in 2 1/2 hours from one store on one day costing me under $500.  I still don't know what jewelry or shoes I'm wearing but I plan on getting a pair of flat silver sandals that I can wear after the wedding too.  If I end up wearing some pearls I already have at home that will be ok and I will probably end up at the Mac counter in a department store for make up the day of.

Don't get me wrong.  I am fully loving all of this wedding planning. Picking out invitations, designing centerpieces, deciding on colors.  I never imagined in a million years that I would get to have a traditional wedding. The full shebang with a princess dress, sit down dinner, DJ and dancing. I never thought I would be choosing colors and going to tastings. It's been absolutely a dream come true. I may not have a huge budget but I am just happy I get to do this at all.  Even without a whole lot of  extras the fact that I get to have a wedding at all is enough for me.

Every bride has a different approach.  I already know I am a frugal bride but seeing all of these little extras that others are doing got me wondering if I was a lazy and boring bride too. After thinking about it for a moment I have decided I am not. I am just doing what comes naturally to me. I can be creative and am having a great time designing my centerpieces-which I think just so happens to be my only DIY project.  Did you know you can have your wedding vows professional written for you at everaftervows.com for about $150? We are having a friend perform the ceremony.  I plan on mapping out the entire ceremony script and we will write our own vows. There will be no sand ceremonies or musical numbers involved.  There are tons of potentially cool and creative things that could be done that I just don't feel are necessary.  I don't doubt that my wedding will still be beautiful and elegant just the way I envision it just because I don't have a million DIY projects.

My natural tendency is to go basic and maybe throw in a few extra frills and thrills depending on budget and desire. That seems to be exactly what I seem to be doing with my wedding. Not only am I a frugalista apparently I am a minimalista too.

The Question Of Cake

 

Our 4th and final tasting took place from the comfort of our own home.  We had a wagon wheel assortment of about 8 different cake flavors and 10 different fillings from bakery #4 to mix and match with along with our specially made sample of 3 layer white and chocolate cake with peanut butter mousse filling and a layer of fudge from bakery #3 and went to town.  Bakery #4 had decent cake, but was the 2nd most expensive and I felt their $150 charge for an extra sheet cake was exorbitant.  We both agreed that we wouldn't choose them and that bakery #2 although the cheapest of them all wasn't as tasty.  Much to my dismay After all those tastings Mj still favored the flavors from bakery #1, the very first place we went to which also happens to be the most expensive.  I on the other hand wanted to marry am in love with the special sample from bakery #3 and I really liked their Marble cake too.  I also prefer their prices-they were the next cheapest.  Mj liked them too.  Not as much as bakery #1 but even so I thought they might be a good compromise.  So, what to do? I liked bakery #1 as well and the only reason I continued the cake hunt is because I was hoping to find a more reasonable price-which we did-just  not quite up to Mj's standards.  I decided to go with bakery #1 that  Mj preferred and we will use the the pink with black ribbons around the bottom design that we both liked from bakery #3. 

We will not be freezing our top tier.  Out of all of the other places we went to bakery #1 was the only one who pushed that as standard.  They get more money that way because now the couple has to purchase extra cake to feed their guests if the whole top layer will be frozen and preserved for later.  I would rather get more out of the most expensive cake I will ever buy in my life on the day of especially since I don't even want year old freezer burned cake.  If we really want to, which we probably won't we can go back to the salon in a year and order the same flavors for much less money.  Tradition is just going to have to take a hike on this one.  They are also the only bakery to have a deposit for cake holders.

I feel like I've been had a little ill after booking it today because to me it is absolutely ridiculous insane to spend $431.25 on a cake.  We will be getting a 3 tier round with Peanut Butter Chocolate on the bottom and Pudding Chiffon on the top two layers with butter cream frosting.  There is a $40 delivery fee and a $50 refundable cake holder deposit for a grand total of $471.25 (not including the parts deposit).  If we need an extra sheet cake that feeds 25 it will be an additional $50.00.   Bakery #3 was only going to charge us $375 + $42 for an additional sheet cake.  If I truly had it my way I probably would have gone with least tasty but not bad bakery #2 which offered $275 for a 100 person cake and called it a day.  Admittedly, their cake wasn't as good as any of the others but at the end of the day it's really just cake and I'm not convinced that it matters all that much. 

This puts me about $71.25 over my planned cake budget which I'm not happy about and I can't help but wonder if the cake we ordered is really THAT much better then the cheapest one.  I tend to be extremely budget minded and will often settle or accept sub par at the expense of price.  This is OUR wedding so I have decided not to make a big hoopla about it and defer to the groom's more expensive tasty and less budget biased preference.  I have plenty of opportunities to be cheap frugal in other areas of my our life so I will just let this one go.

Overpriced wedding cake:  CHECK.

He's Gonna Look Hot In A Tux

We finally made it to Men's Wearhouse to choose tuxedos for Mj and the groomsmen.  Mj is pretty quick and easy to please when it comes to making decisions so we had the whole thing booked in about 45 minutes.  I already knew going in that the groom would be wearing a silver vest with a silver tie.  I have some silver beading in my dress and as much as I would love to see him in my fav color pink I decided to have him match me. We put Mj into a 2 button jacket that looks like the one pictured here.  There were really not too many pinks that were the exact shade we wanted so it didn't take too long to narrow that one down for the groomsmen.  We went for a 3 button for them so that the pink vest will just barely peak out from the jacket-so it won't be too much.  It takes a confident man to wear pink and I think the groomsmen are up to the task.  Mj has already broken the news to them that they will be wearing pink and no one seems too bothered by it. Not that it matters right?  I'm running the show here!

I told Mj if he pays for my dress then I will pay for his tux!  Let's just say he didn't agree to that one.  Not exactly a fair trade.  So much attention is paid to what the bride will wear but if I'm the star he is my co star and he's got to look good too.  I've never seen him in a tux and I have a feeling he is going to wear it well. We booked our party choices with a $40 deposit that will go towards Mj's rental which will total $124.00. They gave us an exact order by date and order number to give the groomsmen and the tux will be available for pick up 2 days prior to the event at whatever location they choose.

Just one more thing to check off my list.  Other then the cake that was the final thing we needed to get done. Speaking of the cake.  We picked up our last set of samples yesterday and will definitely taste them and make a final decision tomorrow.  We need to book it and put down our deposit, ideally before the utter chaos of packing up all of my worldly possessions into boxes and starting the moving process.

After that we went to the movies and watched Iron Man 2 (which was very good) while eating copious amounts of candy from Target which is infinitely cheaper then buying a thing from the Theatre.  We hadn't eaten much all day and were hungry starving.  We have some food in the house but if we need more ingredients to put a meal together we aren't getting them sine we'll be moving soon.  We're not cooking until we get set up in our new digs.  We went to a Mexican restaurant on the way home where they have happy hour all day on Sunday. Gotta love it!

Hmfff....I really enjoyed my beer but now it's time to get ready for Monday.

Cake Tasting Part Dos

The weekend came and went in the blink of an eye for me.  Every day was filled from beginning to end with non stop activity.  Sometimes it's nice to be busy, but normally, that is not my thing.  I like to enjoy at least half a day or even more doing nothing on the weekends so I can feel rested but it was not in the cards.  Friday night after work we drove about 1 1/2 hours to visit Mj's friend who just bought a new house.  We didn't get home until about midnight.

Saturday we started off with our 3rd tasting at Bakery #3.  Still trying to nail down that cake.  This place offered us 3 huge full size pieces of cake of our choosing.  We chose Tiramisu, Red Velvet and White Chocolate Raspberry Mousse.  We both liked Tiramisu the best.  It was moist and had a really nice flavor.  The Red Velvet wasn't very red and it was just OK.  The White Chocolate was pretty good but I'm not all that crazy about berry fillings.

I am Peanut Butter nut so the baker is going to make us a special sample.  Mj requested Chocolate cake, with a layer of fudge and Peanut Butter Mousse filling.  He'll call us when it's ready and if we love it then we will probably choose that along with the Tiramisu.  The prices here run $375 for 75 and then $42 for a sheet cake if we need to feed more people.   We still have left over cake to eat today!

We found a cake design that we both love.  I'm so glad I picked my favorite color for our wedding.  Oh, how I love Pink!!!  It's so pretty and elegant with the black ribbons around it.  Mj is still kind of stuck on Flour Power, the very first place we went to so we'll see.  I was trying to fit in a tasting at one more place but I think there is too much going on to fit it in next weekend and their appointments fill up fast so I don't know when we'd be able to go back.  We REALLY need to make a decision soon.  My plan was to have this done last month so I am lagging and we STILL need to pick out tuxedo's for Mj and his groomsmen.  There simply aren't enough hours in the weekend.

The rest of the day was spent furniture and appliance shopping.  Yep, it's fun and exciting but it can take so long.  We found a great bedroom set, mattress, and sectional that we like at some random store that I kept getting flyer's for in the mail. They gave us a few discounts and I think we got a pretty good deal for all of it.  The refrigerator, washer and dryer are still pending.

We went home to change real quick and then went straight back out to meet Mj's friends for dinner at 7:30pm.  It was about 10 of us in honor of Mj and another guy's Birthday.  The food at this place is always really good and it did not disappoint that night.  I had filet mignon kabobs and Mj had crab stuffed shrimp wrapped in bacon.  All the wine by the bottle was half off too.  We all sat around the fire pit they have outside while the guys smoked cigars and a good time was had by all.  Needless to say that I was exhausted after getting home at around 11:00am and still had a full Mother's Day planned for the next day.

RSVP Angst

I have to admit I am feeling pretty outdone by this whole RSVP process right now. It was so delightful when the first batch started rolling in.  It made it real that we were actually having a wedding.  We had guests!!  But now it's become a source of angst.  A couple weeks ago I came home and saw that someone RSVP’d for 4 when I sent the invitation out clearly indicating two names. They decided they wanted to bring their 12 year old daughter and someone else. I don’t even know who that someone else is because they didn’t write in the name to inform me who was coming to my party.   I’m not sure why someone would assume they can bring whoever they want.  

Any party cost money and people invite not only who they want to be there but also who they can afford to be there. Not to mention space limitations.  Imagine if everyone just brought even one more person to a Bar B Q without telling the host? Then imagine it’s a wedding where the cost per person is counted and a lot higher then any other party you will ever throw in your life.

I don’t see anyone offering to pay for additional guests. Even if they did the answer would be no.  If your name was written on the invitation come and if not don’t come.  If you feel you must bring an additional guest please ask.  End of story.   Some have weddings where they invite everyone to the ceremony and then exclude a bunch for the Reception. The ceremony is really what its all about but the reception is where the money is. I'd feel totally uncomfortable doing this because it just seems so exclusive and those not invited must feel a bit like a B list D list celebrity who couldn’t get into the VIP party. Way harsh.  I couldn’t do it but I understand the concept and those that do. The bottom line is that weddings are not cheap and sometimes you have to make those kinds of tough decisions.

Since it is her friend I am enlisting mom to inform the 2 invited/4 RSVP group that there is only room at the Inn for 2. When I got an RSVP from my cousin, husband, and little girl I was like uh, oh.  This is gonna be awkward.  Mj and I for the most part invited friends/family + their significant other if they had one but decided on no children. This is partly for budget reasons. When you count up all the potential kids it adds up and we didn’t want to open the flood gates on that. Our reception is preceded by a cocktail hour. To me that means screams adult party and chances are that a child won’t appreciate or enjoy it so it doesn't make sense to pay to have them attend.  Even if we could afford it.  The ceremony starts at 4:00pm, dinner doesn’t start until 6 ish and people aren’t likely going to hit the dance floor until around 8:00pm. It takes about 4 hours just to make it through ceremony, dinner and cake.  It’s a long time for a kid and it’s a party. With alcohol. There will probably be drunken people there at some point. I just don’t see why anyone would plan on bringing a child but then again I don’t have children myself so perhaps I just don’t understand. Anyhow, very politely I sent her a message that we had decided no children would be at the reception and she promptly responded that her and her husband would only be able to attend the ceremony then. I love my cousin. She is the sweetest and most wonderful girl and I want her to be there. I am not here to be mean and create hard feelings among family so I took the higher road and told her that if she didn’t feel comfortable leaving her daughter with someone then it would be OK to bring her and meant it.

Looking down to next year and years to come she is always going to be my cousin and this is just one day. It’s just not worth it to me to take a hard line like that and risk hurt feelings. When it comes down to it it’s really not going to matter that much. Even so I am annoyed because it IS just one day. My day and it kind of bums me out that I can’t make a decision and have that be respected by others. I don’t enjoy being in this position one bit. It bothers me that I have to play guest police and that I feel like the bad guy here when in reality I am just trying to have the kind of atmosphere that I want and keep it in the price range that I need.

It's probably not over yet.  As it gets closer I will inevitably have to track people down to get them to reply at all or be irritated by those rude enough to say they will come and then not show up or not RSVP and be right there as if they did. Sigh. Whatever. That’s really all I can say for right now. I can’t let it get to me. This is supposed to be fun and it’s about family and good things so I won't let these petty little issues get me down for too long.

Let Them Eat Cake

Cake tasting yesterday! I made back to back appointments for us at two different places.  Bakery #1 had some really tasty cakes all lined up for us to dig into.

We both like butter cream instead of whip cream for the frosting. I like the smoothness and rounded edges that you get with a fondant frost but that is more expensive and apparently it's very very sweet.

Our favorites were:

*Chocolate Peanut Butter: Chocolate peanut butter cake with peanut butter folded into the mousse, and a layer of fudge to top it off.

*Chocolate Mousse: Amazingly light chocolate cake with an airy chocolate mousse.

*Pudding Chiffon: Our moist yellow cake with our light Bavarian cream, one thin layer of raspberry & one thin layer of lemon, cherry or strawberry jam.

As we started to get into looking at Cake Designs Mj turned into a YES man which I hate. He felt he got shot down on his ideas so just started saying yes to everything I asked about. I want his opinion even if I don't always agree. This is OUR cake and I want us to both like it so I told him he better stop it. The cakes there would run us about $393 for a 3 layer that feeds 75 or $443 if we need to add an extra sheet cake to feed an extra 25. The delivery fee is $40 and they charge a $50 deposit for the cake supports which we have to give back in order to get refunded for it.

At bakery #2 the prices were certainly right but we did not like the cake flavors as much. They were only charging $275 for a 3 layer that serves 100. They add $25 if we want to make our cake pink and there is a $35 delivery fee. For tasting they gave us the cake and the fillings separately. They were not actually pre made with all of the layers and fillings put together like the first place. I fell in love with their Peanut Butter Mousse and it tasted really good with their marble cake. We also liked their lemon cake. I don't remember with what filling. We only want to offer two different flavors to guests.

They had some really great designs.We both prefer simplicity and elegance. I really like the first one. We'd do pink with black decoration and black ribbon around the bottom. Mj likes the bottom one in pink using black ribbons around the bottom and pink flowers branching down the cake. He likes how each layer is off center.

I haven't decided if I want to freeze the top layer for a year later. It's traditional but unless we come up with an airtight freezing method it really doesn't sound all that appetizing to me. I'm not really sure what we are going to do. We didn't book either one. There is still one more place I am going to visit on my way home next week. I can get prices and he will send me home with some cakes to try and then I guess we will just have to make a decision from there. Ideally we need to decide by the end of this month. And yes, you really can have too much cake. We were both "caked out" by the end but it was fun.

Meanwhile, the RSVP's have been trickling in.  It makes it so real that we are really having a wedding.  And pretty soon too.  We have guests!  And we definitely plan to let them eat cake.

She Hates Your Wedding Website

Article: Slate, I Hate Your Wedding Website

The author of this article pokes fun at wedding websites and refers to them as yet another way for people to "...celebrate their daily existence....Instead of being tasteful, utilitarian affairs, these sites inevitably turn into showcases for unbridled narcissism—and open the couple up to a great deal of mockery from friends and strangers alike." Her and her girlfriend spent hours laughing at different websites and forwarding the links to other friends to laugh about too. "Pretty soon everyone had seen "Jane" and "Tim's" site, on which they treated their impending nuptials with all the pomp that preceded Princess Diana's wedding."

"The vibe is perhaps meant to be "classy," but it's very hard to achieve an understated aesthetic when the message you most want to telegraph is LOOK AT ME."

"There are a grand total of 651 pictures featured—from baby photos to Solo-cup-filled college dorm-room shots to shots of their four—count 'em—engagement parties."

Personally, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with having a wedding website and I'm not just saying that because I have one right now. No, I do not think my wedding is the most important thing in the world but it is important to me and so I'm going to share it. The Internet along with face book, twitter, and everything else is here to stay so why not make it fit your needs? Why not utilize it to share a special day in our lives and as a tool to share useful wedding information with guests? People hardly use stamps anymore because we pay bills, send letters, and almost everything else online. Now, guests can RSVP online directly from a web page-no stamp required. It's just a sign of the times. There is a website for everything now.

I do agree that these days the need to publicize every single little thing has become very widespread and a little annoying. You need only take one look at your face book news feed to see this. People are posting everything from "I got a new job," "running errands" to "going out for sushi" to "I lost my keys." And, they are doing it all day every day. I'm thinking about posting something like "picking my nose" just to see what people might say and to make a point. Some people really do feel the need to track their every little move on the Internet. It doesn't bother me too much, I just happen to not be one of them.

When you are in love you want to shout if from the roof tops but that might cause a scene and/or bodily injury. So, we make a website instead. I love ours. It was fun to make and there is nothing on there I would be embarassed about 20 years from now. I used mywedding.com. I did not post 500 pictures of the two of us walking into the sunset and staring lovingly into each others eyes, but so what if I did? There is nothing wrong with being happy, in love, and wanting to share that with friends and family. That's what we do at weddings and that's what we do on wedding websites.

Alterations, Invites, and Mom

Let's just say I totally underestimated the time it would take to address invitations. What seemed like a fairly simple project turned into a 4 1/2 hour job! The good news is that my partner was my mom and yes there was champagne, candy, dessert and chatting throughout making it fun.

My mom came down Saturday and I took her over to see our new still in progress house. It was so cool to be able to share that with her. She is so happy for us. Then, we went downtown for a nice lunch. On the way home we stopped over at David's Bridal so I could have my dress alterations done. They had to take it in on the sides in the area between my waist and my hips so it will fit better, shorten it, and add the bustle. Grand total....$224.00!! Ouch. I am shocked that I of all people will be wearing something that cost $700 bucks. For one day. The under $500 dress is technically no longer which I am kind of bummed about but it had to be done.

The fiance did his homeworK and delivered with a nicely organized excel spread sheet of addresses. Mom came armed with her address book and we got to work folding, stuffing, sticking, and writing. My RSVP's were messed up because I did not include a line next to Name(s) _________ and so Name(s) ended up smack dab centered with no room to the right to write. It looked really goofy and I was really upset with myself for making this mistake but I had an online chat with Invitations By Dawn and they were really great about re printing them at no charge and shipping them out within days. On the inner envelopes I stuck labels I made wIth our website info and wrote the guests names. We used all of those free address labels that we have accumulated over the years to put on the outer envelope instead of writing out our return address. I didn't use any special pens or monograms. My mom so kindly volunteered to do the mailing for me and will pick out nice wedding stamps to use.

Mj and I got into a bit of a debate about including a stamp on the RSVP envelopes for those that we know use the Internet regularly. Our label clearly says to check out our website where they can RSVP online and is prominently placed on the outer envelope so I chosing not to include stamps for my Internet savvy friends. I just didn't see the point and at .40 cents a pop I wanted to save my mom the expense. Mj felt that he could not determine who is Internet savvy nor could he guarantee that each and every guest would look at our website. I told him that I don't care if they choose not to....they will just have to pony up a stamp because we did give them the option to go online. He seemed uncomfortable with not including stamps so I told my mom to put them on all of his RSVP's.

We took a dessert break then finished up. Mom didn't leave until 11:30 pm. Our planned guest total is 75. No babies or kids and for the most part we did include plus ones if they were married or had a significant other. We sent out a total of 72 invitations that include 116 people!! Are we taking a huge risk? There are a lot of out of state/out of town folks. We know that our wedding is the most sought after event of the Summer season-but of course. Even so, we expect that a lot will not be able to attend. We just went ahead and invited who we wanted and hope that it will all shake out in the end at around 75-80. If not...we're in BIG trouble!!

I'm Gettin' Chair Covers

I know I know, it's probably something someone somewhere made up to convince brides that there was something so wrong with chairs that they needed to be covered up so they could make money and I am falling into their evil trap. I just couldn't help but be amazed when I saw before and after pics with and without. I love the way they totally transform a room and make it so festive and elegant. It's a great way to incorporate your wedding colors too.

When I saw that the ballroom chairs at our venue were gold not some ugly maroon or green color I decided that chair covers were not a must have. It's a nice cozy ballroom on it's own. I would table it and see where we ended up budget wise everywhere else AND what kind of deal I could get and make a decision then. Aside from my little simple centerpieces that I am making and the tulle to decorate the ceremony arch I am not doing much decorating so it would be nice to do something but not at the expense of budget. When even the groom pipes up and says that it would be a really nice touch...well, then you really have to take it into consideration.

Some charge as high as $4.50 per chair but I found a lady that works out of her home who only charges $2.70 a chair total!! This is pretty much the lowest price anyone is offering them for in our area. This includes delivery, set up, and breakdown. That is a super bargain and I really wanted them so I decided to go for it. The total cost is $202.50 for 75 chairs. I also added the $11.00 insurance at .15 per chair so if any permanent staining or damage occurs to any of the covers I won't be responsible for replacing them.

I considered black covers with pink sashes because those are our exact colors but have decided to go with a white cover and the light pink organza sash instead. The black just didn't look right against a white table cloth and even if I wanted to pay for black linens which I don't.  black on black would have darkened up the room way too much. I plan on choosing the black linen napkins.

I'm even getting excited about my DIY centerpieces now which will cost about $80 total for 10-11 tables. I found slightly fuller and a bit higher rounded vases at Walmart with a lip at the top for $1 each. This one is not so tiny and it will allow me to tie a black organza bow around each one. I'm adding a single floating pink carnation to each. It will be lit up with a submersible LED light and have pink stones at the bottom. They will sit on top of the round mirror and be surrounded by 3 votive candles and I'll scatter pink and black silk flower petals around it. So far, I've only found black ones online and the best price is 500 for $6.00 at eFavorMart.com. It's all coming together!

I am so thrilled to be adding such a pretty decoration to our venue that actually fits my budget. Our reception will be transformed into this beautiful display of whimsy and elegance. I am so not the girl who has always dreamed of a fairytale wedding. Not that I didn't want one. I just never imagined it would be possible for me and it's so exciting to feel like I am getting one now.

Bridal Bouquet & Dress Size

Did anyone know that the size of the bride is supposed to play a role in the size of her bridal bouquet? I surely didn't but come to think of it the florist did mention something about my size and that the bouquet should not overpower me or overshadow my dress. I guess it makes sense I just never thought about it. In doing some internet research I actually came across a formula.

• Dress size 1-10=12 roses
• Dress size 12-18=18 roses
• Dress size 20+ =24 roses

I came across this pic of a bride with a gigantic bouquet and it is a perfect illustration of how a bouquet can overshadow a bride. Now that's a big bouquet if I ever saw one!! You can hardly even see her dress behind that thing. I think they went a bit over board on that one.
Also, you are apparently not supposed to toss your actual bridal bouquet. The florist asked me if I wanted a throw away one and I decided not to for budget reasons. If I do a throw away bouquet you can bet that will be one I buy at the grocery store and put together myself! I am not even sure I want to do a bouquet toss. I think I will see how many single ladies there are going to be and decide from there. And, the more I think about it the less I want to throw my $110 bouquet away. It's going to die anyways and I will be throwing it away eventually but I guess for sentimental reasons I would like to wake up the next morning and still have it around.

Flowers Aint Cheap

But then I knew that already. I went to the flower shop I was referred to at the tasting a couple weeks ago today to get a quote. When I originally did my budget way back when I was still searching for a venue I used $700 as my figure. Since then, I had dropped it down to $350 after running some numbers and taking into account the anticipated number in our bridal party and the fact that I will not be using flowers to decorate the venue or as centerpieces.

I would love to have flowers for centerpieces but I simply do not want to spend the money that it would cost to do it. My centerpieces will be DIY and each have one pink floating carnation. There is a beautiful elegant white arch with multiple columns at the ceremony location set against a wall of greenery that will be in full bloom with flowers in July so I have decided to leave well enough alone. I will only be dressing the arch in tulle that costs $100 from the hotel.

My price quote is $428.04 and includes the following:

• Bridal Bouquet $110.00
• Attendant Bouquets 4 @$40.00 each
• Mom's corsages 2 @$17.99 each
• Groom Boutonniere $14.99
• Groomsmen, Dad's, officiant Boutonniere 7 @$9.99 each

I feel just a little bit indulgent and excessive at the thought of carrying a $110 bouquet. I mean, do I really need a prop that expensive? One I will carry down the aisle then toss over my shoulder and send home with someone else. I did not order a "throw away" bouquet. I was hoping for $80 and do not feel that I have requested anything too elaborate. I don't like cascading. Good thing because they cost even more. I chose a round bouquet with all light pink roses and baby's breath throughout which I love. It will have some ivy around the edges for finish and a white satin ribbon around the stalks with white pearls running down it. And that's all folks. The range she gave me for the bouquet was $110-$140 so of course I asked for the lower end. However many roses $110 will get me should be enough.  The attendant bouquets have a lot more greenery and a few different kinds of flowers in it with names I can't remember, including Carnations in different shades of pink and will be tied with a black ribbon. One benefit of having a smaller bridal party-less flower expenses.

I didn't originally think about all of the extra corsages and boutonniere's for the mom's, dad's and officiant/friend but I want each of them to have one and as with everything else it just adds up. The thought has crossed my mind to try to do DIY some of it. I don't know if I am ambitious enough to do it all myself but if I throw the attendant bouquet's together myself I'm pretty sure I could do it for less then $160.

I have a co worker who does flowers on the side as a hobby. I might be able to have her do all bouquet's  and then I would only have to order the boutonniere's and corsages from Allen's which might save me money if she could do it for less then the $270 quoted. Fifty Flowers.com has some DIY Wedding combos I could play around with. I have also found some reasonable priced wholesale flowers online at Growers Box and Blooms By The Box but I will ONLY pursue this route if it will save me significantly more money otherwise I might as well save myself the time and worry and just leave it to the professionals.

We shall see. Either way I am still under my original budget and overall $428 for bridal party/parent flowers doesn't seem to be all that bad considering what it could be. I am really happy with my selections. The lady who helped me didn't seem pushy and it was not some high end boutique shop. After browsing online I think the prices are reasonably low and competitive.

Invites/RSVP's En Route & Website DONE

Hitting submit on my final order was a bit nerve wracking. Once I do this it's final. It's too late to decide that there should have been a comma there or a certain word should have been capitalized. Unlike my blog once I hit submit I can no longer go back and edit. That being said I am also glad to have it done because it IS so final. No more obsessing over the wording and whether or not everything is perfect.

After extensive research I decided on Invitations By Dawn. I immediately liked "In The Pink" online and knew it was perfect when I received the free sample. I could have gotten some cheaper ones but they would have looked that way too. It is a fold over design printed in raised black script on pink heavy card stock paper. There is a pretty black and a pink pearlized flower embossed on the front and our first names are visible from the front through a little cut away. They match our wedding colors, they look elegant and are of good quality. They come with outer AND inner envelopes. The cost is $121.80 for 100 invitations and $65.80 for 100 Response cards. We also got invitation tissue for $2.00 making the grand total $189.60. I was able to customize everything online. I was able to view a mock up of the invitation but not the RSVP. I did not order proofs. They were $15 each. I liked the invite sample and I proof read the invite so I think it will be OK that I didn't.

I also got to working on our wedding website because we are going to print the website URL on mailing labels and stick them to the outside of the inner envelope. This is the online digital age. There is a website for everything so why should my wedding be any different? We are using mywedding.com. Guests can RSVP and choose their meal here. They can view our wedding registry, city information, wedding and hotel information, view pictures of us , sign our online guest book, contact us, and find out a little bit about how we met. It's totally free. I LOVE the way it turned out and it was really fun doing it too.

I will plan on sending them out early March and request RSVP by June 1st.

Reception [Food Fest] Tasting

The tasting was less of a tasting and more of a all out food fest if you asked me. But, I am definitely not complaining. They offered passed hors d'oeuvres and wine or champagne while we were waiting to go into the tasting room. Once inside all of the food was set up buffet style and you could pretty much taste as much as you wanted of anything that was there. There was a lot to choose from! These are our plates just from round one.

We had Rosemary Chicken, Flat Iron Steak, Wild Rice Pilaf, Stuffed Shells, Mini Beef Wellington, Spring Rolls, dinner rolls, Garlic Mashed Potatoes and on and on. The provided a note sheet so we could take notes on what we liked and what we didn't. After tasting everything I think that we have decided that we like the Southwest Tri Tip steak. I originally figured I would just go for chicken because it's kind of generic and everybody likes chicken but this meat was so tasty and we both really liked it so beef it is. I am debating over if I want to put a beef or vegetarian option on my RSVP cards or not. Or, just tell them on our website that if they are a vegetarian to let us know? I think if we have dual entrees served then we have to provide menu cards and I am not exactly sure what that would entail. I guess I need to find out because I am planning on ordering my invites this weekend.

Southwest Tri Tip Steak

The reception package we chose is $55 per person [plus sales tax and 19% gratuity of course!!]and includes the following:

• One hour bar service including cocktails, beer, wine, punch, and sodas
• Assorted cheese & cracker display during cocktail hour
• Starter, served entree, seasonal vegetables, dinner rolls
• Champagne toast and coffee/tea service
• Cake cutting service

I think that should be enough but I really liked some of the Hors d'oeuvres. It would costs $150 per 50 pieces to add those on. It would be nice to throw in something extra but that would be $300 minimum. We want to add on alcohol too after the cocktail hour and Mj and I both agree that alcohol is way more important! The next package up would be $20 more per person and include 4 hors d'ouerves AND an extra hour of bar service but that would be pushing our budget too much.

They also had some of their vendors on hand for everything from DJ and flowers to mobile spa services and chair covers. The cake vendor said he could do a peanut butter 3 tiered cake that serves 100 for $275, which is under budget. I found out that one of the sample centerpieces on one of the tables was $100!! That's exactly why I am making my own. $100 X 10 tables is $1000 bucks! Even $40 X 10 is too high for me. We visited all of the vendors and turned in our little card to enter the raffle but did not win anything. I was REALLY hoping to win the $500 ceremony but instead it went to a girl who is having a quincenera and doesn't even really need it. Sigh.

Overall it was a wonderful and fun event. Free dinner and wine is always nice! Of course it made me want everything but I have to bring myself down to earth. The recent renovation on the hotel looks great. They really rolled out the red carpet for us and I am very happy that we chose it for our venue.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

Choices I make generally always come down to price and unfortunately my wedding is no exception. I've had to pick and choose what matters most to me focusing on those and letting the others go. For me that is venue and photographer. Our venue is a newly renovated hotel ballroom for the reception. It has a gorgeous garden area outside for the ceremony. I felt that if I could find a venue that was pretty on its own it would save me on additional decorating costs later. Generic maybe, but the price fit. It will be beautiful and also convenient for everyone especially our out of town guests to have everything in one spot. There were some amazing photographers I would have loved to have do our wedding starting at $2500 and up but I just couldn't do it. I like our photographer's portfolio and think I will end up with beautiful pictures. We are not doing engagement photos at all. I'd like to but just not sure if it's a must have considering budget. It might be fun to save that for a year we aren't spending so much on a wedding and I look forward to doing that and still being as in love as we are on our wedding day.  I stuck to a $500 or less budget on my dress and I really love it.

I will consider up lighting because we got such an awesome deal on our DJ in the first place that I might be able to fit it in. I didn't even know what it was until another blogger enlightened me-excuse the pun!   I really want chair covers because I can see just how amazingly well it transforms a room but may not because the chairs they use are actually OK. I was loving the look of tall elaborate centerpieces with fresh flowers but I am piecing together my own to cut costs. I am spending a little bit more on invitations then I thought I would because the cheap samples I got just looked....well cheap. I think I will go ahead and do the personalized table number cards and place cards because I found a decent price and feel it's one cute detail I can afford. I will forgo an additional Hors D'oeuvre at cocktail hour but may host a bit more alcohol.  I am telling myself that doing what I can is going to be A OK. It's not like my wedding is going to suck because there wasn't a fruit display in addition to the cheese or no chair covers.

Buying this house at the same time has added some extra pressure and provided some clarity on what's really important. Instead of Europe we will do Hawaii. We will have a good time wherever we go as long as we are together. Saving up money so that we can buy down our mortgage points for a more affordable monthly payment and getting our washer/dryer and refrigerator pales in comparison to having an extra dessert in addition to our wedding cake. Not that my wedding isn't important. Not that I don't want to provide a wonderful experience for our guests, but the fact that we are throwing this "party" and bringing everyone together in the first place is huge in itself. I will attend to the extras that I can but if not then so be it. The important thing and what I have always wanted is to have a beautiful event, have people that I care about there to celebrate this wonderful occasion, have a good time, and have great pictures to remember it all later.

Would I love to plan a no holds barred anything my heart desires wedding? YES!! But since that is not possible I will not sweat the small stuff. I will simply enjoy that fact that I get to do this at all and take pleasure in every moment. As far as I'm concerned the biggest thing missing from my wedding is likely to be my big sister and that's not something that even costs money. This wedding is not about the stuff it's about our love. And it's about our friends and family coming together to celebrate it.