Got A Renter and Life is Good

I have met people over the years who seem to have a fairy godmother floating above their head. Everything they touch turns to gold and even the bad things in life often yields rewards. They land hot jobs and somehow manage get what they want and do what they want without even seeming to have to try that hard. They seemingly coast through life without a care in the world and why shouldn't they? They are the "charmed ones" and things just have a way of working out for them. Unfortunately I have never been one of those people. I work hard and try to do the right thing but nothing has come easily to me and I always seemed to be left wanting or with the short end of the stick.

About 2 weeks ago I got a call from my property management company that there was a woman interested in renting my condo. Ever the pessimist I was so happy and so relieved yet I did not count on anything until she actually paid her deposit, signed the lease and moved in. Well Friday.....SHE MOVED IN! I officially have a tenant in my condo who is locked into a lease for one year. Due to market conditions I was not able to rent for the full amount I owe but will only be taking on about a $100 per month deficit which could have been a lot worse and I should be able to absorb that into my budget. I never wanted a rental property but due to circumstances I have one and am just thrilled that I can finally stop stressing myself out over this-which I've been doing for over a year. Ideally, she will pay rent every month and I won't have to think about a double mortgage situation for at least the next year.

I actually still can't believe it. Every week after we moved out without a renter I got more and more anxious.  It's such a tiny condo-what if no one wants to live there?  I was already trying to figure out where I could tolerate working for a second job and how I would ever find the energy to do it. I tend to be surprised when everything works out according to plan while Mj expects it. Getting a renter was the last thing that I really needed to work out for me and just in the nick of time....it did.  Throughout this whole house hunting, home buying, and rental property journey he has said over and over "Don't worry. It will all work out." Did I listen? NO. Did it work out? YES!

My only explanation for all of this is Mj-who incidentally just so happens to be one of those charmed ones. My general outlook and my life has totally changed since he entered it. I was lonely and depressed with little expectation or hope for better. I wore my misery and independence like a badge of honor and faced life in general with a mild sense of dread. The way I saw it life is hard. Happiness and fulfillment is promised to no one so you better just learn to deal with it. Fast forward two years and I am genuinely happy, planning a wedding with the man of my dreams, decorating our house and feeling an overall sense that life may not be perfect but the good in it far outweighs the bad. I still tend towards pessimism but no longer see gloom and doom lurking around EVERY corner. While I'd like to take 100% credit for this change I can't. Mj is the catalyst of all of this.  He has changed my life and I hate to think of where I'd be right now if I'd never met him.

I know that this doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen. Not even the charmed ones can count on that.  Maybe Mj's good luck has rubbed off on me a little but I still don't count myself as one of them. It doesn't even mean that I will stop worrying because chances are I will always be a worry wart-it's just the way I'm wired. However, it does mean that my panic meter goes down a few notches and my happy meter goes up. It means I no longer feel the heavy weight of the world sitting on my shoulders and every set back won't feel like the end of the world. It also means that I can finally say, "life is good." In the past those words would never EVER cross my lips under any circumstances. I was just too sad. So no matter what happens down the road of life I know that I have come an incredibly long way and that alone is something to be happy about.

Clubbin' With Mom & Dad

"Hey Dad, I want skittles," I yelled out the window as my dad got out of the car and went into the convenience liquor store.  There is something about sitting in the back seat of the car with mom and dad in the front that reminds me of being a kid again.  I constantly hounded my dad for candy and barbies as a child so I thought it would be funny to ask for skittles which was always my favorite.  My dad comes back and tosses in a bag of skittles and one of those cute little mini alcohol bottles of  Gin with lime.  I didn't used to get liquor with my candy as a child but well, I'm not a kid anymore.  It's 10:15 pm and to celebrate Father's day mom, dad and I are going out clubbing.  "Drink up," he says as he hands one to my mom.

There is nothing traditional about my father.  He makes no apologies.  He thinks, says, and does whatever he wants to and could care less about who's looking or what anybody thinks about it.    "Dad, what do you want to do for Father's Day?"  

"Nothing.  Don't buy me anything because you know I'm not into that and don't go out of your way to come up here or spend any money." Then he went into his usual rant about commercial holidays and how it's just about making money and he doesn't need one day to celebrate anything.  My dad always tries to act so rough and gruff but we all know there is a softie in there somewhere.

I was going to be up there Saturday and was thinking I could spent the night and do breakfast in the morning so he could get to work and I could get home to take care of the millions of things I have to do. He said that all he wants is for his girls to be happy.  He doesn't want or need anything else for Dad's day.  He has his routine on Sunday's.  He gets up, goes to the gym, then goes to the barber shop for work and normally doesn't get back until evening.  He really didn't really feel the need to interrupt his schedule and with everything going on with wedding planning and buying a house he didn't want me to have to do anything else.  I have learned over the years that it is almost useless to argue with him.  He is more set in his ways and stubborn then anybody I know.  So when mom suggested that we just spend time together on Saturday because I was already going to be up there I agreed.  We would eat dinner together then go out.  Mom and I had a make up consultation for my wedding so we would already be glammed up.  Perfect!

So, that's what we did.  The consult took longer then expected so we didn't have time to cook but we did pick up some delicious food from a local Soul Food restaurant and ate that at home.  Dad doesn't drink anymore since he's been on dialysis but mom and I had some wine.  I was already getting tired.  I don't go out at night much because most of the time I find that I'd just rather be at home in my pajamas at that hour but we said we'd go out so go out we did.  It's a small town and there aren't too many any hot spots to choose from unless you want to head south about 40 minutes closer to where I live.  The Flying Bridge seems to be the only game in town so that's where we went.  The ONE night my parents and I decide do go out it's closed so we ended up at a dive bar called McCabe's.  I used to go there in my single days long ago and hang out mostly because there wasn't anyplace else but I never expected I'd find myself there ever again let alone with my parents.  Not much had changed.  It's still a dive bar with lots of random weird people inside but dad new the guy at the door so at least we didn't have to pay a cover.  We chatted, people watched.  My mom and I were being shy but dad put an end to that by dragging us on the dance floor and we had fun out there. 

I thought to myself for a moment how bizarre it is that I am out dancing with my parents on a Saturday night at a bar but that's something I love about my family.  We just are who we are.  My parents are on the other side of 50 but they still like to get out and have their fun and I can go right along with them  and there is nothing weird about it at all.  I was probably more tired then both of my parents and I'm supposed to be the young one!  We had a really fun time hanging out and doing something different together.  It was NOT the traditional Father's day outing but we certainly enjoyed it and that's really what it's all about.

Class Action Payday

You know those class action lawsuit notices that you get in the mail?  You half read them then throw them away and pretty much forget about it because you still can't figure out exactly how you have been wronged and you already know that whatever your particular piece of the pie is to compensate for your alleged pain and suffering probably won't even be enough to buy lunch at Applebee's Denny's.

I am bound by the terms of my confidential settlement agreement so I can't name names but I have been the triumphant recipient of four lawsuits since we moved to our new house which was less then a month ago.  The first settlement award came just days before we moved and I actually threw it in the trash by accident because I was in the middle of sorting and organizing at the new house.  I think it has to do with some sort of breach of privacy but I honestly can't remember.  It was a voucher for an upgrade on my gym membership for only $5 which means I can actually go to the brand new one by our house that Mj uses and not be relegated to their 2nd tier locations.  Never mind that I haven't been to said gym in a long time I am entitled to my damages and so I plan to collect because I really do plan on going back.  "Just wait until I get my lawsuit" I'd tell Mj when he would question harass me about not going to the gym.  Now I really don't have any excuse aside from the other ones I normally use.  

The next lawsuit was from a very popular online travel company.  I have absoloutely no idea what this one was for.  I got a whole $1.11 cents credit to use at my leisure.  That won't even get me downtown on a city bus so I'm not sure exactly what I'll do with that one.

Let's just say I hit the big time with the next two.  Cash money!  So big that I can afford to decorate my house any way my heart desires, add on all the bells and whistles to my wedding and am seriously considering quitting my job.  Well, one can dream right?  Last weeks check was a settlement from a work at home inbound call center I worked for briefly when I quit working full time about five years ago.  I was modeling so I was looking for something flexible that could earn me some extra money.  I completed their training modules and once I was a bona fide certified agent I signed up for time slots so I could wait for incoming calls via my computer and earn money from the comfort of my home.  I got to take orders from people in places like Skokie, Illinois who wanted to order things like the Heel-Tastick heel renewal system with the bonus grooming kit that they saw on late night TV watching reruns.   The only time slots available were often at odd hours and in 2 hour increments.  I'd set my alarm for 1:30 am so I could wake up only to sit there at my desk in my pajamas and only take 1 call while trying desperately not to fall asleep.  You got paid by the minutes spent on the phone so even if you "worked" for 4 hours you'd only get paid for maybe 35 minutes.  I think that's why they got hit with the lawsuit.  Nobody could make any money!  Needless to say, I think my $30.00 settlement check is more then I ever actually earned while working for them.

The settlement I got yesterday was from a major online dot com corporation that most of us have used at one time or another.  I have no clue on how I was wronged on this one but I will happily cash my $35 check anyways thank you very much.

The very first weekend of June as soon as I got paid I ran out and spent almost my entire budget for the month on things for the house and a few things for the wedding so I was flat broke just days into this month.  I get paid once a month so there isn't anything else comin' in but thanks to my lawsuits I have $65 more dollars to work with.  I was part of a cell phone company lawsuit years ago and a couple others that I only vaguely remember.  My oh my we have become such a litigious society.  Just living your every day life you can be unknowingly wronged, become part of a lawsuit AND collect damages without doing a thing. 

I'm not really sure how the lawsuit gods knew that this has been a really tight month for me.  When I check the mail every day I'm secretly hoping that there might be even more that I have long since forgotten about rolling in.

Making A House A Home

I hate leaving unfinished business.  When I do something I want to finish it so I can have closure, enjoy the fruits of my labor and check it off of my to do list.  What a mess I was.  Barely moved in and going, going, going from store to store and errand to errand like a woman possessed.  I wore Mj out with my relentless planning and need to do so much so fast.  He said, "Take a break, relax."  I think I was driving him crazy.  I wanted everything to be perfectly organized and I wanted it NOW!  I'd walk into Wal Mart knowing I needed so many things but I was practically paralyzed with indecision over what to buy.  I'd walk down aisles staring at this and that.  I'd pull out my mile long list of things to buy but still not know what to do.  What color?  What size? Should I check another store?  I'd spend all weekend going from one store to the next and still feel like I had accomplished nothing.  You can't walk into Target and Bed Bath & Beyond one day and expect to have your house fully decorated and furnished the next.  No siree.  Not gonna happen.  You might be able to do that in a studio.  In fact, I think it took me about two weeks to set that up, but I can't expect to do that now.  Not with a house that is 4 1/2 times the size.  Duh!

Making a house a home takes time.  It doesn't happen over night and as soon as I realized that I was fine.  Room by room, piece by piece it all comes together.  In time.  Now I don't worry so much about the fact that I know I need some rugs but I don't know which colors to get or that I definitely want bright pillows for our sectional but can't get them yet until I decide on drapes.  The garage is totally disorganized and in need of some shelving and we need to get our closet done so Mj can actually fit some of his clothes in with mine but there is plenty of time to get to it.  There is still those last few stubborn boxes filled with stuff you don't know what to do with but at least most of them are finally cleared out and we have all of our necessary appliances and furniture. We haven't put up any pictures on any walls yet and the two extra bedrooms are sort of a mess but I do have a color scheme for the guest bathroom and a cute rug and shower curtain to go along with it.  We can't afford to get EVERYTHING at once even if it was possible.

We got our dining room table and TV console delivered. Oh, did I ever agonize over this table. The sales lady just pulled up a chair and waited as I walked back and forth between our two top picks staring at them as if I was hoping the table itself would tell me what to do. But once I saw it in our house I knew I'd made the right decision.

  The shutters and blinds were installed too and they look great. My mom was down visiting and we just oohed and awed over how pretty the plantation shutters are and how much they change the look of the room. 

It's so much fun watching as each addition transforms the space and helpful how each new piece gives way to ideas for the next.  I watch a lot way too much HGTV.  I'm no designer but I see all these beautiful rooms on there and now that I finally have a home of my own to decorate I want to do it right.  I know how I want my house to look but I just don't quite know how to do it.   I've decided not to worry that I am hopeless and won't be able to handle the decor which Mj has left me in charge of.  My over ambitious attempt to get everything done at once made me feel like I wasn't capable of doing it at all but I realize now that's not necessarily the case.  Just because I don't already have a color scheme in mind for the living room yet doesn't mean I never will.   

Buying the house was stressful but this is the fun part and it isn't going to happen over night.  Like most everything else it's a work in progress and rather then worry about what I think I don't know I've decided that I am just going to enjoy the process.  We already love our house so when you really think about it our house already is our home and anything else is just extra.

Way Too Much Fun

This is me holding onto my ancient cell phone before the incident although I imagine I didn't look too much different afterwards.  I certainly felt a heck of a lot better that's for sure.  My friends and I met up for happy hour/club night at our favorite local spot on Friday night to celebrate a birthday.  What with moving and wedding planning I hadn't really been out with the gang in a long time and I've been looking forward to it for weeks.  Everyone is so busy living their life that these outings have become fewer and far between.  We drank, ate, laughed, danced and had a grand old time.  Just like old times.  There was wine, champagne, and then a shot of patron that magically appeared in front of me.  When I say I had way too much fun I mean I found myself in the ladies bathroom with my head over the toilet at the end of the night.  I was having fun and feeling great....until I didn't.  I can't remember the last time that happened and if everything goes according to plan this incident will soon be a long forgotten memory as well.  I swear there have been plenty of times that I drank way more then I did that night and had a totally different outcome.  Oh yeah...didn't I just say that it had been a long time since I went out like that? Perhaps that would explain said inability to hold my liquor.   That combined with a sort of empty stomach sealed my fate but it certainly didn't ruin my night.  I was able to pick up right where I left off minus the booze plus lots of water for the last hour that we were there.  And no hangover the next day thank you very much!

Anyhow, I had a blast hanging out with my friends.  Yeah, yeah, yeah I may be way too old for such shenanigans but hey...it happens.

I'm Not Made Of Money

But it would sure be a heck of a lot easier if I was.

I'm struggling a bit with this rehearsal dinner concept. What if we just went out to a restaurant and had everyone pay for their own dinner because we were simply tapped out financially? Not an option. We definitely want to treat our wedding party as a show of appreciation to them. To complicate matters there are out of town folks not part of the rehearsal that might want to come socialize with us before the big day. Can we pay for some and not all without being rude? What with expectations and all. I'm sorry to say it but I think that's the way it's going to have to be even though I feel a bit bad about it. It is a REHEARSAL DINNER after all so I am hoping that anyone not part of the rehearsal will not be offended if they have to pay their own way.  If anyone thinks that's rude...well, I don't know what to tell 'em 'cause that is the best we can do. We have to plan on keeping it small and maybe try to meet up with some folks afterwards if we can. Or they can just come and pay. We have to do what is within our budget. If it's all or nothing then I'd rather not have one at all, but I don't think totally missing out is the way to go.

Do I sound mean? Dare I say cheap? Oh well. I suppose it's just the stress associated with spending so much money on a single event and the frustration of getting ridiculous quotes just to sit our group down to dinner. I'm not trying to have a reception before the reception. Just a casual dinner with good food will do. I knew that even at best with all of my super powers of frugality kicked into high gear this would be an expensive undertaking and I don't regret it. We have saved, budgeted, planned, and I am thrilled with my efforts to keep this within a reasonable comfort zone.  I am very much looking forward to the festivities. It's just that now that we are so close to the end and my STICKER SHOCK has just passed the 10K mark and growing the enormity of our spending is hitting me. Just when you are already stretched to the limit financially having already put down deposits with your vendors, several remaining balances are due very soon, and in the home stretch of paying off your venue you now have all of these extras to come up with on top of everything else.

Buying a house within two months of our wedding has surely exacerbated this situation. Whose bright idea was that anyways? We've been spending money right and left on that and everything in it. That was a HUGE purchase and we are going to have a new mortgage every month as a reminder, but I don't regret that either. Some things, even very expensive things, are just worth it. Like this wedding. I am absolutely not made out of money but in the course of planning a wedding (and even in buying a house) you sort of get the feeling that you are supposed to be. There are so many extras financially that you must take on or feel you must do just because you wanted to have a certain something. Extraneous costs that just add up. You really get hit from all sides and it almost makes you feel like only rich people should do this, because it starts to feel like only they can reasonably afford it.

I know that some of our guests have costs associated with coming to our wedding and being in our wedding. They also have expenses to contend with precipitated by us. They are kind enough to travel and participate in our special day and I truly do appreciate it. As a host I WANT to treat them all to dinner as a show of appreciation, which technically we ARE doing at our reception, just not necessarily the night before. I wish I could pay for hotel reservations, airline tickets and bridesmaid dresses too.

When it comes down to it you either have the money or you don't. You either stretch your budget to make sure you fulfill all of your obligations or you don't. Let's just say I foresee a lot of stretching coming up in the near future. At least I'm already warmed up. I might be willing to stretch it but I WON'T break it.