Our First Tree

I HATE errands.  There are so many other things I would rather be doing on my precious Saturday off then run around to place after place dropping off money getting the car washed, buying groceries, or picking up this or that.  I start out with my list of places to go and it's not uncommon for me to chop of the last stop or two and just get the hell home.  Saturday was different because Mj came along.  Running errands with him is actually fun because we are spending time together.  He sort of got stuck with me for the whole day because his morning flag football game and evening poker game got canceled.  "Sorry baby," I said but inside I was happy that I'd get him all to myself for the whole day.

blank canvas

add lights

The only thing worse then errands is errands on an empty stomach so our first stop was out to breakfast.  Then we headed to Walmart and got ornaments.  At Pier One we got some more goodies for the house then Cost Plus World Market where I spotted an adorable bench that would be perfect for our hallway entry.  Then it was off to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  I decided to chop JC Penny's off and get onto the stop we'd been waiting for all day.  Christmas tree shopping!  There was a bit of a debate over size.  I wanted to get a smaller one but Mj insisted it at least be taller then him.  No Charlie Brown Christmas tree for him.  It just seemed so darn huge.  I've never had space for a tree at all let alone one this size so what do I know?  After getting it into the house I could see that he was right and I love it.

I played Christmas songs and with a glass of wine nearby had a lot of fun decorating it.  Mj did the lights and I put on the rest of the bulbs while he started dinner.  Mj already had the lights and all the non edible ornaments are from Walmart and Big Lots costing us a grand total of $19 bucks.  I love using real candy canes.  It's like having a candy tree in my own house but since those candy canes don't actually grow I'll probably be buying more to replenish the supply since I plan to eat them right off the tree whenever I want.

Add ornaments...and there you have it.  Our pretty tree

 I've lived on my own for eleven years and this is the first time I have ever had a tree!!  For mostly the same reasons I'd never had a party.  The studio was too small.  My former apartments were pretty small too not to mention drab.  I just didn't care .  Bah Humbug!  But times have changed.  I have a house and a great husband that makes me want to do things I was too miserable to care about before.  I received some Christmas ornaments here and there over the years as gifts.  It looked everywhere for them but I couldn't find them.  They may show up some day but I suspect I may have gotten rid of them.  I probably figured that I would never be happy enough to want a tree.  I'm so grateful that life is different now.  Real trees can get messy but it's worth it just to have that wonderful pine smell in our house.  It smells like Christmas.

Cyber Monday Shopping

Our new bedding
Macys.com-Calvin Klein

Mj has been saying for a while that we need a duvet cover for our King down comforter we got as a wedding gift.  When he says we need a duvet cover or anything else housewares related that usually means that I need to find it.  Not in a huge rush to spend more money I kept forgetting to check it out but it has been getting colder so I finally remembered last night.  I browsed a few websites and then it dawned on me.  It's Cyber Monday!  Anyone who has ever bought bedding knows how ridiculously expensive it can be. King sized bed sets can cost $300 or more!  The way it usually works is, I scroll through the inventory and when I find something I like I ask Mj if he likes it.  If he says no then I keep looking until I find something he says yes to. 

I'm not really into the whole holiday shopping craze. I haven't seen anything I want or don't even know what I want.  I'm just not motivated to expend the energy it takes to get out there this time of year.  Sometimes it's even hard to know if you are really getting a special deal or not.  I  mean, it's probably going to be on sale for the same old price tomorrow and this whole Cyber Monday or Black Friday thing is just the store's way of increasing urgency to bring customers in.  Well, I guess this Cyber Monday thing is for real.  At least for what I got at Macy's.com.  Mj finally said yes to this bedding set so I ran out to my car where I keep all my coupons and dug out a $50 off coupon on $200 + purchase. I resisted the urge to buy those cute little decorative pillows that match.  We only have two with our other bedroom set and they spend most of the time in the corner on the floor.  So this is what I got. 

• Calvin Klein Cut Flowers Duvet set (Duvet + 2 shams) $99.99
• Calvin Klein Cut Flowers King Sheet Set ( 1 flat/fitted, 2 cases) $59.99
• Calvin Klein European Sham $24.99 ea X 2 $49.98 

Total: $209.96.  I paid $182.53 total with tax including $17.95 for shipping.

I log onto Macy's.com today to check out prices and these are the post Cyber Monday prices I found:

• Cut Flowers Duvet $162.99
• King Sheet Set $89.99
• European Sham $32.99 X 2 $65.98

Total:  $318.96

It was the real deal!  I saved a whopping $109 with Cyber Monday prices and another $50 on top of that with the coupon I had.  Not bad for someone who wasn't even planning on buying anything.  So I'm loving that I got such an awesome deal on an amazing 300 thread count complete bedding set but a little bit disgruntled over the fact that I just spent almost two hundred bucks on our second set of bedding when there are still so many other things we need for the house.  We STILL have mostly blank walls and have hardly any decorating done.  I still need to get that darn patio furniture set I want from Walmart!  Jeez....maybe I should have checked out the Cyber Monday prices on that.

It's so strange how I was totally shopped out feeling broke and didn't really have any desire or sense of urgency to do any more shopping (even though the house still needs work) but with this one purchase my shopping juices got flowing a little bit and now I want to stop at Pier 1 TODAY to get something I saw online.  Le sigh.

Relationships are so Hard

I was reading a friend's facebook status.  She posted "Relationships are so hard."   It's almost a no brainer to me as to why.  She sort of signed up for hard.  She is a 20 something who has shouldered the burden of being the main provider for herself and her 40 something year old boyfriend.  Not only can her boyfriend not fully take care of himself he is also unable to take care of his eight year old daughter so guess who supports her too?  Not only that but there is a crazy baby mama in the mix.  Then she tells me that she is actually the instigator in a lot of their fights.  I guess they deserve each other.  No wonder her relationship is hard but it got me thinking....are relationships really that hard?  Is my relationship "hard?"

My two previous relationships were in fact very hard but I have since come to realize the reason for that is because I was with the wrong person.  With both relationships they either started out hard or got there pretty quick which was clearly a sign even though I didn't want to see it.  Thank goodness those days are over.  My relationship with Mj has been smooth sailing from the start.  We met, we clicked and we were together.  No trust issues, no petty arguments and no ridiculous miscommunication blunders.  No drama.  We compliment each other and are on the same page.  When I am in a bad mood and feeling like a total bitch I just tell him not take it out on him.  He let's me get through my "mood" and to this day we have never had an argument.  We also keep the lines of communication open.  Our relationship is still young but the same is true of my friend and her boyfriend.  If you can't manage to get along and find a solid level of bliss early on do you really think it's magically just going to come later?  If it's "hard" now then what will it be in five years?  People who struggle and remain in difficult relationships are mostly kidding themselves.  I know because I did it myself.  If he doesn't call you, if you can't trust him, if you argue a lot for no reason or if every other day feels like a new battle then consider the possibility that this is not the person for you.  Unless some major things change the relationship certainly is not going to improve and if you can see that there are no changes taking place then it's probably best to move on.

Find someone who is right for you and eliminate the struggle.  Someone you don't have to question or wonder about. Someone who doesn't add stress to your life.  Everyone says relationships are hard work and I believe it but am happy to say that thus far mine has not been hard or work at all in any way. Unless you count having to be apart for 11 months which was indeed hard but had nothing to do with flaws in our relationship or how we interact with each other.  That separation presented many challenges but we dealt with them well.  Together.  Given time we may find that things become harder and we have to put in some of that work I keep hearing about to stay strong but I'm really glad to say that at least we didn't have to start out that way.  This reconfirms for me just how right for each other we are.  We have an amazing foundation and when the going gets rough we can draw on that to get through it.  In the meantime I will enjoy my not hard relationship and continue to tell my friend that unless they can change the dynamics of their relationship she needs to move on.  Chances are she will continue to not listen to me and I can only hope that one day she wakes up and realizes it doesn't have to be that way.  Like I did.

This whole weekend has been great.  Fri-Sun we mostly just hung out, watched movies and watched TV together with just a few little errands and outings and some housework thrown in here and there.  Today was yet another example of a wonderful day with hubby.  We were practically attached at the hip all day as we lounged around, cuddled and watched football all day enjoying our last day of the long weekend.  I love being with him.  There is nothing hard about that.

Thanksgiving Day Shenanigans

I love my Cousin B but let's just say that promptness is not one of her strong points.  She arrived at our wedding AFTER the ceremony and normally shows up to family gatherings a couple hours late.   It was with the expectation that nothing would go according to plan that I arrived on her doorstep and I was not disappointed.

Our presence was requested at 3:00 pm for Thanksgiving dinner.

2:10 pm- Mj is rushing to finish his bread dough and we make it out of the house only 10 minutes late. We have the furthest drive so my mom offered for us to drive to their house and they would drive the rest of the way to B's.  They want to leave the house by 2:45 pm.

2:25 pm- I get a call from my mom informing me that we would not be riding with them after all.  My aunt, uncle and nephew have asked to ride up with them and we have just been bumped.  Annoyed, I get the address from my mom and punch it into the GPS so we can just continue on and drive straight there.  I am even more annoyed to find that dad is just waking up and my aunt and uncle are getting dressed.  Uh...how were they supposed to leave at 2:30???  I already know dinner won't be at 3pm.  We could've taken our sweet time instead of rushing out of the house.

3:30 pm- We arrive at my cousin's house just as my sister, husband and nephew do as well.  Cousin B answers the door in her bathrobe and is still finishing up with her cleaning.  We walk in, take a seat and wait.

4:00 pm-The hors d'oeuvres are put out for us to munch on.  They obviously just came out of a very low temperature refrigerator and some of them are slightly frozen.  Mj won't eat the wraps.  He eats four of my sister's deviled eggs instead but I love wraps and a little ice doesn't bother me so I eat them anyways.

4:30 pm-My mom, dad and the rest of the gang FINALLY arrive with the rest of Thanksgiving dinner and more deviled eggs.  They sit down and we chat. Our hostess has gone up to take a shower and get dressed.  We sit and chat and continue to munch on hor's dourves while watching the rest of the football game.

5:30 pm-My dad is shaking his head and complaining loudly about how he should have stayed home because she doesn't even have the NFL channel and now he can't watch the Bengals VS The Jets. According to my dad if she agreed to host Thanksgiving she should have had the right channel.  So as to not upset the masses my cousin gets on the phone in a jiffy and calls Direct TV to order the channel so that dad will not be deprived of watching a second game on Thanksgiving.

Meanwhile, we still don't know what's going on with dinner.  The kitchen is suspiciously absent of any food aroma's, the hostess is no where near the kitchen and all the food we brought is still sitting there. We wander in to figure out what we can do to facilitate the process of eating sometime soon. In the kitchen we find Cousin B's boxed mashed potatoes sitting on the counter and corned beef and green beans sitting on the stove.  Big sis and Mj cook and season up the mashed potatoes to try to give them some flavor and fire up the stove to start heating up everything else. Mom brought turkey, corn bread and cranberry sauce.  She realizes that she forgot to bring the yams. My sister brought greens and my aunt brought mac and cheese.  Our contribution was three desserts and homemade bread.  Turns out Cousin B didn't get a chance to make the boxed stuffing she bought.  I don't like stuffing so I don't care but everyone else is a fan so we had to use the stuffing that my mom brought from home especially for Mj.

Mom and I

6:30 pm-  Due to the time delay Mj's bread has swelled to 2 times it's expected size.  He realizes that it's still sitting there so he goes in and turns on the oven so he can get it baked.  Unfortunately,  the oven is in some state of disrepair and won't get hot.  The oven is on and he still can touch the grate with his bare hand!  The bread doesn't turn out as well as he wanted it to but we make do.

Aunt B is asking about the frozen wantons and crab cakes she'd left out.  I had already crammed them back into the shockingly packed fridge.  It was well past appetizer time and if she hadn't made them yet there was no reason to do so now.  We didn't need to make one more thing that would delay dinner. Besides....I don't even know if her oven would have cooked the darn things and the microwave was being used as storage.

7:00 pm-My younger cousin was so hungry by this time he had a headache. We finally find ourselves standing around the kitchen table saying a blessing so we can eat.  We were all starving so we dig in and go to town on filling up our hungry bellies with some good food.  We can only wonder what she will do with the left overs considering her refrigerator is packed with not even an inch to spare.

Big sis and lil nephew

The whole situation was more funny then anything else and I just couldn't resist sharing such a comedy of errors.  Cousin B is smart and capable but hostessing just may not be her thing.  I'm still not sure why she wanted to host Thanksgiving.  I have never seen a house so crammed with extra stuff, her kitchen wasn't exactly functional, and she didn't do much cooking. She has a heart of gold and she means well so ultimately I didn't let anything about the sequence of events leading up to dinner bother me too much.  There may have been a few bumps along the way but she was still nice enough to invite everyone over so I can't be too mad about it.  I still had fun.  I was with my family hanging out and I got to hold my little nephew half the night.  We were all together and even though it took a while we still enjoyed some good food and each other which is really what matters most.

Giving Thanks

This is the time of year that we all need to take stock of what we have in our lives that we are grateful for.  Making a list like this is probably harder for some then others.  There are a great many people in this world who are unhappy, struggling, and simply got a raw deal in life.   When I think about all the bad there is in the world out there I know that no matter how far I am from where I wish I was I am damn lucky to be where I am and have plenty to be thankful for.

• My husband:  I seriously don't know where I would be without this man.  He changed my life.  This time last year he was just coming home from a long 11 month separation.  I'm glad he's home for good...at least for now.
• My family:  I love them so very much.  I am grateful  that my big sis lives closer now for at least the next five years and that we will get to watch my nephew grow up and that my mom is the best mom I could ever ask for.
• My job:  I have been so hard on myself in the past for not "being" something better then I am.  But really, when it comes down to it I am lucky to have a job that I like with great health insurance benefits, all the holidays off AND that keeps the bills paid.  Getting a promotion has been a much needed boost for my self confidence and my wallet.  I can only be grateful for that.  There are people in their 6o's working low wage manual labor jobs that basically keep them in poverty.  How difficult must it be to get out of bed and face that every day? I am glad that I don't have to.
• My health:  I don't get sick a lot.  I don't put into my body everything I should.  I don't exercise enough and I am ever critical of it's appearance but even so it has never failed me. 
• My home:  Even when I was bursting at the seams in my tiny studio I was always grateful that I had a roof over my head.  Many people in this world dream of having any home at all and I feel so fortunate that we were able to buy our first house together.
• Finances:  Of course I wish I were rich but I am glad that my finances are in order enough to the point that I have good credit, money saved, and a 403b.  Despite what a big year we had with the house, wedding, and honeymoon we are debt free.  No drowning in debt or high interest rates for us.  I have always lived within my means and didn't have to learn that lesson the hard way.

I'll be spending Thanksgiving with almost my whole family.  We will miss lil' sis.  She couldn't make it down here again for today but hopefully we will see her at Christmas.   My cousin wanted to host this year so we will be making the drive up there to her house.  I am still in my pajamas and I'm looking forward to a wonderful day of relaxation and hanging out with family.  If I feel this relaxed now...wait until the food coma hits!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Wedding Wednesday: The Reception

We've arrived!  Let's get this party started

My little do it yourself centerpieces turned out OK

[July 10, 2010] The reception was truly the funnest part of the whole day.  By the time we were standing outside the doors waiting for our "grand entrance" I was so ready.  We danced into the room after our bridal party to the tunes of "I Gotta Feeling" and it just got better and better as the night went on.

Greeting our guests

We both sat down and ate dinner.   I wouldn't have it any other way as we did in fact pay for it!  I loved sitting there at the front and watching everyone eating and chatting and enjoying themselves.  Then we went around the room to every single table and greeted our guests while everyone was finishing up dinner which was really fun.  I am not normally a social butterfly so I can't believe I did this!  On your wedding night you kinda have to be social and I actually found that it came naturally and I enjoyed it.

Cheers to US

After dinner we went right into open mic for toasts. Often times only designated people make speeches during the reception and for some reason it didn't really cross my mind to do that.  I just told the DJ to open it up to anyone who wanted to speak which could go really badly....but in our case it worked out fine.  It went on longer then we expected but it was really special to hear what people had to say.  And the tears just kept on flowing. I absolutely did not realize just how emotional this would be.  Having people you know and love stand up there and share there well wishes on your wedding day is awesome.  You know people care about you but how often do those words actually come out? Not very often, so it was just awesome to give everyone that chance here.

Toast time was emotional.  I was sobbing!

After that we went straight into the cake cutting.  I simply had to ignore the fact that my cake was the wrong color or else I would have been mad and I did not want that emotion to invade my wonderful time.  No cake shoving allowed but we did have fun feeding each other.

That's not my cake!

Nice and easy

One of my favorite moments of the entire reception was our dance. I felt like we were in our own little world even though everyone was watching. We whispered, laughed, kissed and hugged through most of it and enjoyed it to the very last note.  The words from "I Turn To You" (Whitney Houston) were PERFECT!!

 Savoring The Moment

After that I danced with my dad to "Can You Feel The Love Tonight."  Mj and his mom joined in about 1/3 of the way through the song.  Then, we opened the dance floor up to everyone and boogied the night away.  It was the most magical night of my life and I didn't want it to ever end.

Our Wedding Day Story: The Beginning........