Tuesday Tidbits [01/11/11]

• Bridalplasty is down to just a few brides!!  I'm hoping they all get together and put Jenessa in her place.  OUT!  I Can't believe I watch this show.  It's a little embarrassing actually.
• Still debating over The Bachelor.  I quit many seasons ago when it stretched to two unnecessary hours.  I half watched it while making Chili on Sunday and the new one is in my DVR.  Do I really want the time commitment?
• Hubby LOVED my Chili!  I know this because he went back for seconds AND took some for lunch the next day and said it tasted even better.
• My tenant was served eviction court documents last month the week of Christmas.  I know, way harsh-but she's the one not paying rent.  Anyhow, it's supposed to take about 6 weeks to evict.  I'm scared to see what the place looks like.
• Last Friday I went to happy hour with some friends.  I had a blast, drank a bundle and ate way too much yummy cheese.  It's the only time and place that we seem to get together.  So much fun! 
• I love hanging with my family.  Mj had drill last weekend so I went to mom's on Saturday.  My big sis did too.  We literally just "hung" out.  We went to the grocery store, picked up Subway for dinner and took turns holding DJ. 
• Poor hubby got his iPhone stolen on Saturday night.  He JUST bought the sucker too.  Without contract prices it's $500 bucks!  Nasty.  He spent about $900 in iPhones within the last two months between his, mine and the replacement.  I would have been an inconsolable wreck but he just bought the new one and moved on.  No whining or crying involved.
• Speaking of which.  Is it possible to be in love with a phone?  If so then consider me smitten.  I really didn't know what I was missing until I got it.  I love my i phone! 
• It looks like I'm "back" in the gym now.  Hopefully for good!  I went twice last week and yesterday after work.  600 calories burned last night and I'm going back for more tonight. 
• Fiber 1 is the bomb!  I've been eating just 1/2 cup of the original dry or in yogurt for only about a week now and let's just say that I feel like a "regular" girl for the first time in...well EVER!   The side perk is that it is actually filling.  I eat it at lunch and I'm not rooting around in my desks for junk to get me through the rest of the day.
• My wedding album is FINALLY done.  I kept staring at it and changing things excessively but I am going to order it from Shutterfly tonight because their current sale ends on the 12th.
• My new job is going well.  It's been about 2 1/2 months and I manged to make the transition without completely freaking out...which is what I usually do because new jobs tend to scare the hell out of me.  I guess that's what happens when you stay at your first job out of college for 7 years.  I may still get confused in meetings and there is still a lot I don't know but I think I'm right on track and that they don't regret picking me.
• I am just on week 2 after a 12 day break from work.  Why do I feel like I need the upcoming 3 day weekend so badly?

Do I Really Have To Go Back To Work?

Today is the last day of Winter Break.  I knew it was coming but somehow I have still managed to be in disbelief that I have to go to work tomorrow.  After 12 days.  The horror!  And the fact that it's supposed to rain makes it even more delightful.  I've felt bad watching Mj get up and go to work every day while I sleep in but oh how wonderful it was not to have to do it myself.  I have enjoyed each and every nano second of every TV watching, magazine reading, hanging out with family, house cleaning, and gym going day.  That's right I said gym! I went to the gym four times last week.  Not only did I enjoy it I actually looked forward to it.  This from a person who hadn't step foot in the gym in over a year!!  All I can say is that The Lady of Leisure lifestyle suits me well.  It is everything I dreamed it would be and more.  I have time for errands, for house cleaning, for relaxing, cooking and the gym.  Not once have I felt overloaded, worn out or even bored.  Granted, one might find it gets boring after a while but I'm pretty good at keeping myself occupied and it's got to be better then 40 hours a week in the office.

The only pic I got of me!!

Mj and his buddy L

New Year's Eve was fun!  One of Mj's friend L hosted a Soul Food potluck.  Mj made yams which I absolutely do not eat but it was OK because there was plenty of other fattening yummy foods to indulge in.  We had a really fun time.  Just a small group of people.  I'm usually at home in my pajamas by midnight on New Year's Eve so it was nice to do something different this year.   I only had a bit of wine and champagne.  Due to Mj's 10 beers and excessive sobriety check points I drove home. 

Saturday and Sunday has mostly just been all about relaxing.  I spent a lot of time in my jammies.  I made sure to get all of my house cleaning done on Thursday so that I could just ride out the weekend without having house work to think about.  I went to the gym, picked up a few groceries and and gassed up the car yesterday.  I'm about as ready for work as I will ever be.  I worked on our wedding album on Shutterfly for hours today.  It's finally just about done.  We're making Mexican Pizza tonight for dinner....I should probably get started on that. 

As for New Year's resolutions.  I'm not really into them so much.  There are only three things that I would like to keep up with as we roll into the new year.  I want to continue being active at the gym or otherwise.  It's so important and despite time restraints and fatigue I need to make it a priority.  I also want to take some classes at the community college and continue on with learning Spanish using Rosetta Stone.  Oh, and one more.  Just to continue to nurture the things that are important in my life.  Namely, my family, my marriage and myself.  Everything else will follow. 

2010 Was Amazing

Feb 2010-Valentine's Day

As we begin a new year I think back to what a magical year 2010 was.  I had orchestrated my little life into a tiny neat little box that was my condo where I had re built my life for the last five years.  I had my independence, my budget, and my habits.  I knew what was what and it was safe.  I had finally managed to form some semblance of happiness and now everything was about to change and fast.

We lived together for the first time in my condo for 6 months.

We went through the house hunting roller coaster.

We booked a wedding venue in December 09 and went under contract for our new house in January.

We waited 6 months for our house to be built and finally got to move in on May 26th. 

We started out with dirt.......

And ended up with our first house

I actually made an effort to start cooking. 

The Cabbage, Rice & Turkey sausage turned out pretty good
except for the crunchy rice.

We settled in, organized, painted, and started to make our house into our home.

painting was harder then we thought

I rented out my condo.
Something I was (and still am) terrified of and NEVER EVER wanted to have to do.

My condo became a rental property

At the end of May my big sis moves back home for good at least the next five years.

After months of planning we got married on July 10-the most  magical day of my life. 

I do!

 In August my adorable baby nephew is born.  The first grandchild in the family. 

DJ.  Just a few hours old

At the end of October we jetted off for our perfect 8 day Hawaiian Honeymoon. 

Hiking Diamond Head

As soon as we got back from our honeymoon I started a new position at work in November after getting promoted.

In December Little sis' will take her last college final and finishes up college.

We enjoyed our first Christmas tree and Christmas in our new house.

The only thing left to is to have a baby and I do believe we are out of time on that one which is just fine with us!!

2010 in a word was amazing.  In two words, it was amazing and expensive!  So many good things happened.  Life changing things.  From January until July our lives were a whirlwind of house hunting and wedding plans.  There was stress, anxiety, pure joy and everything else in between.   Then, once things calmed down we got the chance to relax and just BE without a million things going on at once.   My big sis came home to stay and I love having her nearby and being able to see my nephew.  The wedding was wonderful and our honeymoon was our reward and celebration for everything that we had accomplished together.  I will always remember it as the year that my life changed for the better in ways that I never dreamed possible for me.  The year that I conquered my fears again and didn't let them overpower me as they had before.  The year that I truly believed for the first time in a long time that life is good.  It feels so good to be happy and it makes me sad to think of all the years I spent in misery hating life and hating myself even more.  I loved 2010 and there is a possibility it can't be topped this coming year but that's fine.  I'll gladly settle for happy.  It really is a new chapter for me.  I am looking forward to many more happy years in 2011 and beyond with my husband and wishing only good things for my family and yours.

What A Decade It's Been

With the end of 2010 comes the end of a decade and the starting of a new one.   The majority of this decade wasn't the happiest for me.  Let's re cap shall we:

• 2000-I am two years post college graduation and working in claims.  I dislike my job but in the years to come I will grow to HATE it.  I'm living with my fiance who also happens to have been my first boyfriend in our 2nd tiny apartment in as many years.
• 2002- After 4 years dating and 3 years engaged we finally make the mistake of getting married.  The seven years spent procrastinating on said action should have been a hint of things to come. 
• 2003-I am miserable and become very depressed.  My marriage sucks.  We don't communicate and we don't even like each other anymore.  I'm still working in claims and hating life more and more with each passing day.  The job is killing me but I would be taking a huge pay cut if I left and I had no idea what else I could do.
• 2004-Right before Christmas we separate.  I am too thin and he accuses me of having an eating disorder.  My weight hits an all time low.  We agree the relationship has run it's course.  I am on anti depressants, going to therapy and am sad and exhausted all the time.  We actually had a deposit down on a condo but I had to call and cancel everything. 

I spent a lot of nights at home alone

My cozy condo

• 2005-I buy a condo on my own and move into my own place in February and start to rebuild my life.  I'm living alone for the first time and I like it.  I can't take the stress anymore so I walk into work one day and quit my claims job of 6 years with no gig lined up and no plans.  What was I thinking?  I am too broke to buy a single Christmas present for anyone.  This is also the year I meet MT and we begin a sort of relationship.  I am still often sad and isolate myself alone a lot in my condo.   The divorce is finalized.

First portfolio shoot 2006




• 2006-I finally had the time to pursue modeling, which I'd been wanting to do for a while.  Turns out I was so beloved at my claims job they didn't want to let me go.  They offered me a part time position temporarily that stretched into a whole year.  I make so much that my hourly rate is still enough to keep me going along with modeling gigs.  I call the shots.  I work 24 hours a week for the next year and model.  Uh...working part time is awesome!  I'm so glad I had a chance to do that.  My big sis and I get out and do a lot of fun things together.  I didn't have a lot of friends so it was great having her as a best friend.  She moved out of state for a boy at the end of the year.  I smiled on the outside but no one really knew the extent of my sadness.  I was (and still am) so hard on myself.  I felt like a bit of a loser for wasting so much time in claims, not having a career, and for not really doing as well in modeling and acting as I'd have liked.  It felt like nothing I did was ever good enough. 

From Top Left Clockwise:  Vegas, Cruise with big sis 2006

• 2007-The money is running out and my part time position has ended-I stayed there for 7 years in all!  I haven't hit the big time and I need health insurance.  It's time to go back to full time work.  I find an office job at a college making about $12,000 a year less then I did working full time in Claims.   I am bummed out to have to quit modeling and lingering depression still haunts me.  After two years of sort of dating MT I find out he is totally married, and I totally end it with him.  He is only the second guy I have ever dated in my life so I really just didn't know any better.  There is a phone conversation with yelling and hanging up.  Such drama.  He helped me through a hard time and is still a friend to this day but I am not the home wrecker type.  End of story.  I meet a hot guy from Atlanta on My Space.  We meet up in Vegas for the first time and he flies me out to visit him in Atlanta.  Potentially scary and creepy but it actually turned out ok.  He was not "the one" but he helped me get over Married guy and was a big confidence booster.  My big sis got married and had a small wedding in Vegas.

Clockwise from Top Left:  2008-Camping Trip, Casino Weekend Getaway,
 Las Vegas, County Fair

• 2008-I meet the love of my life in March.  The man who would change my life.  He spoiled me.  We went camping, we went to Vegas, and he bought me things.  I was having the the best time ever getting to know him but even still I tried to push him away.  I still don't like myself enough to believe that I am worthy.  We find out he will be deployed and Eight months after meeting he leaves for a year overseas.  We had already decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  The guy gave me a giant promise/engagement ring after four months!  Smitten much?  Well so was I!  And the happiness that has eluded me for so many years is finally mine for the taking.  After Christmas he's gone.  All of our plans have come to a screeching halt.  I won't see him again for 7 months. 

Christmas 2008

• 2009-I basically spent this year missing Mj, trying to keep busy and missing Mj.  I'm beginning to hate my job again so I  transfer to a new office.  I keep myself occupied by starting this blog.  I wrote away happily even though I had no followers and I worked on learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone.  I visit my big sis in NC, I hang out with friends and family.  My illustrious modeling career is capped off with a Top 5 Finish in the Joe's Next Model contest.  A memorable experience and a welcome distraction.  Mj comes home for a visit in July and then onto the home stretch until he is home for good in November.  I turned in my 2nd leased Jeep and bought a Honda in cash causing a near nervous breakdown.   I am overcome with anxiety and I'm not sure if it's because I've been without Mj so long, I'm afraid of all the changes that happen when he gets back or both.  What if I can't shake these awful feelings?  How are we going to accomplish everything we want to in the coming year? When he finally came home he made everything ok.  He moved in with me and talked me down from the ledge.  We went to Delaware in December where I met his parents for the first time and we set about building our life together.  

My B day with the 'rents  April 09.

Visit with Big Sis N. Carolina May 2009

We meet up with J who also lives in NC. 
She's the one who hooked up me and hubby.

July 2009 Visit.  We go to Vegas and enjoy every day we have together

My baby is home for good!!  Nov 2009

If you are still reading you now know everything you wanted to know about the last decade of my life and more.  I am a totally different person today then I was 10 years ago.  I beat my depression, and still err on the side of thin but I feel much better about myself and my life in general and I finally know what it's like to be happy.  What a freaking concept!  2010 clearly deserves it's own post so I won't touch on that here but suffice it to say that since 2008 things just got better and better for me.  

I LOVE Christmas

I don't care how old I get I always feel like a kid on Christmas morning.  As soon as we get out of bed it's time to open presents.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200.  Go to the bathroom if you must but after that the Christmas Carols are on and we are at the tree because it's present time!  I am almost more excited for him to open his then I am to open mine.  I got my i phone 4 early because my Razor was pissing me off so badly and I am so broke that I threatened to go out and get whatever free phone T Mobile was offering.  To avoid this tragedy Mj gave me my phone Tuesday and I am already madly in love with it.  He even got me the pink case t go with it.  I still had one more gift left for Christmas day.  I opened the box and the distinctive bag alone told me I was in store for a real treat.  As soon as I un cinched it my nostrils were massaged by the aroma of leather and my eyes feasted upon an absolutely exquisite black Coach Purse!!  He got me a great brown one two years ago which is still in great condition so it was time for a black one.  He wasn't sure if I would like the style but it was perfect.  He did an amazing job picking it out himself.  For someone without a wish list I think I did pretty good!  I got everything I've been wanting but has just been too expensive for me to go out and get for myself. 

YES!!  I love it.

Mia Collection Maggie handbag by Coach [Photo Source]

Mj loved his bike trainer.  It's basically a contraption that allows him to turn his actual bicycle into a stationary bike so he can exercise in the house or just outside without actually having to ride anywhere.  I also got him cycling arm and leg warmers and threw in some boring socks too just because he needs them.  

Our first tree and first Christmas in our new house

I love Christmas!  I was so excited to go up and spend the day with my family.  As soon as I walk in the door I grab DJ because I can't help myself.  He was so cute in his little "My First Christmas" Santa outfit.  

Grandpa and Dj

The guys go straight to the TV for the basketball game and my big sis and I head in to see if mom needs any help.  There is lots of chatting and sitting around until dinner time.  My mom just didn't really feel like inviting a bunch of people over so it was just us this year. Of course there was way too much food.  We all packed some to go.

Mom and Mj dishing it out

Big Sis, Mom, DJ

The gang

After dinner and dessert we exchanged gifts.  My dad had me for Secret Santa and got me this stylish animal print cap and scarf and some fuzzy socks.  My mom sent him off to the mall by himself to pick it out and he did an awesome job.  That he picked it and my mom didn't pick it and just put his name on it makes it so special.  Mom also got me an interactive gaming mat.  I'm not sure exactly what that is yet but it looks cool.

My dad picked it out for me all by himself!!

After dessert and presents my big sis, brother in law, Mj and I played Yahtzee.  When we were younger my big sis and I used to play this for hours and hours at a time while listening to and 80's band called "Men at Work."  I have absolutely no idea why we did this but I won't ever forget how much fun we had.  The only one missing this year was little sis so I called her on my brand new i phone and we did face time so we could see her and she could see us.  

Did I already say how much I love Christmas?  It is such a happy and festive time.  I woke up in such a jolly mood just because it was Christmas day.  Even the next day I am still feeling the glow.  I was in such a good mood in fact that I made pancakes for breakfast.  Mj just finished using his bike trainer and now he wants to know if he can keep his bike in the house.  Uh....no.  I plan to break out that exercise mat but today is basically just going to be a relaxing day after Christmas at home.

A cute little video of my nephew

It's Christmas Eve

I was reading People or Us magazine the other day, I can't remember which, but there was an article asking celebrities what was on their wish list for Christmas.  I thought it was sort of funny in a way.  Everyone has wishes and/or wants but rich celebrities for the most part don't really have to want for anything.  They can just buy it.  Of course it's nice to receive a gift from someone special but it's also nice that if you don't get what you want you can go out and get it yourself no wishing required.  It also must be nice to have the money to fulfill those wishes for friends and family too.

I myself didn't have a wish list.  I hardly ever do.  I usually don't know what I want and I also feel strange telling someone what they can buy me.  This year our family kept it simple and budget friendly by doing a Secret Santa gift exchange.  We set a $50 limit and wrote down three things we wanted.  I got a flat tire on Monday AND just discovered last week that I am going to have to evict my tenant.  I won't be getting a rent check this month so I've had to re work my budget to include an extra mortgage.  Needless to say, there isn't much room in the budget left for any shopping so it's a good thing we are doing it this way.  I got Mj's gift online and did the rest at one store in about 30 minutes.  Aside from Mj and the family gift the only other person I shopped for is my baby nephew.  I like it that Christmas is simple.  I'm not running around like crazy trying to buy something for everybody I know or spending lots of money.  Christmas itself should never get lost in hustle and bustle, stress, or overspending.

Wednesday was my first day of Christmas break and I did absolutely nothing.  It was raining and even the fact that I needed to get my flat tire taken care of couldn't get me out of the house.  Luckily, Thursday the rain stopped. The sun finally came out and so did I.  I did my errands, a speed round of Christmas shopping, and spent $132 for a new tire.   This morning I went to the gym which is practically a miracle and then my mom came down to visit.  We went to see Black Swan which I've been dying to see.  I love Natalie Portman and Ballet so I could not wait for DVD on this one.  It was so, so good and it was a nice little outing for my mom and I.  The chef otherwise known as my husband already made five Applesauce cakes for work and to send to out of state family and he's at it again.  He made sweet potato pie yesterday and another Applesauce cake today for Christmas.  Every time I turn around he's either in the kitchen baking, washing dishes or running out to the store again for more flour, sugar and eggs.  Unfortunately, he left today's cake in too long and he's actually making another one!  Back to the store.  Oh, and he still has homemade bread to make.  You will never catch me in the kitchen doing all that baking.  I just don't have it in me.  I made dinner last night and that was plenty!

We finally got some presents under our pretty tree.  Tonight we are relaxing at home, well once Mj gets out of the kitchen that is-and then Christmas day at mom's house tomorrow.   Looking forward to it.  Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!!