Hump Day

I did the hard part. I actually fell asleep with the help of my sleeping pill Rx in a timely manner and was sleeping soundly last night. The kiss of death was when I woke up to use the restroom and couldn't go back to sleep. I don't know what time it was. I usually make a point never to look at the time while I'm trying to fall asleep or if I wake up in the middle of the night. Knowing the time usually makes me a little bit anxious if I have to wake up early and only feeds into my insomnia problem. So, I lay there for who knows how long. My mind is racing with thoughts about something I want to write about and things I need to do so much so that I get out of bed and make a list so instead of hoping I don't forget I can quiet my mind and hopefully get some sleep. It helps a little but I still lay there until the sounds of my morning radio show tell me to get up. One more hour and I might have been able to fall back to sleep. But alas, duty calls and I must drag my tired body to work like it or not.

So, here I sit at work with 2 hours to go and I am DRAGGING. I can literally hear the clock ticking. And with every tock I get closer to where I'd much rather be. At home wearing my jammies. Relaxing.

High Cost Degree Can Be A Gamble

There is a story that circulated the Internet last week about a Bronx girl who sues Monroe College, NY for $70,000 tuition reimbursement because she can't get a job in the IT field as she was led to believe she would. I think this girl is ridiculous as most seem to agree. You go to college and you put out the money to do so with hopes that it will lead to a good job and higher earning potential but that is not always the case. Neither the college or anyone else can guarantee it. You weigh your options and you decide just how much money you are willing to invest in the possibility of that correlation being true and you hope for the best. I was conservative and I am so glad that I was.

I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do so I wasn't about to spend excessive amounts of money on College if I didn't have too. My 4 year degree in Sociology cost me about 16k in loans which have since been paid back and will not prevent me from buying a house or ruin my credit. I got into USC. I liked the idea of the ultimate College experience but I didn't like the price tag. I went close to home to an excellent state funded school and cut costs by living in an on campus apartment instead of dorms then commuting the last 1 1/2 years. I took advantage of a semester exchange program where I attended Spelman College in Atlanta GA. I had an amazing "going away to college" and private school experience and didn't have to pay their prices. That one semester away was much richer and way more memorable then all of the other years put together. I will truly treasure that experience forever. I may have missed out on some things by being practical but I got what I went there for-my degree. I worked too, and didn't use my loans to pay rent and subsidize my lifestyle as so many do. I am currently in a job where I don't use that degree and I make less then many people who have not earned a college degree yet. Although it has been helpful in my job endeavors the cost would not have been worth the benefit if I'd spent 70k. A degree was a goal I wanted to accomplish so no matter what, I'm glad I did it. If you want to be a doctor or a lawyer you know it costs but you also know that you will make an extremely high income once hired and that there is always a need for those professions. I am not sure exactly how much difference it makes to get a Liberal Arts degree from Harvard or a no name besides the price tag. Perhaps it is advantageous because it's such a prestigious school. Again, it's a gamble.

A particular school just might have a great program and/or prestige that could open doors in the field that one wants to pursue or it could simply be a goal to go to that kind of school. I am not knocking anyone who shells out the big bucks to pursue a degree. I just think that when you do that you should be aware of the possibility of not gaining on that return and don't blame others if you don't.

Read Article about Trina Thompson suing Monroe College.

Nastia Liukin Just Won't Quit

Nastia Liukin just won't quit. She has 14 World and Olympic Medals, 5 of them from the most recent 2008 Beijing Olympics. She is the reigning Olympic All Around Champion which is the dream come true of any Elite Gymnast. She has endorsements up the yin yang to the point where she is pretty much a millionaire. She has all kinds of amazing opportunities being handed to her right and left. Her entire year after the Olympics were a whirlwind of appearances, star studded events, photo shoots and travel. And yet...she returns to the gym. Back to the blood, sweat, tears, and pain. Back to 6 hours of training 6 days a week at the gym where it all started. At the age of 20 in a sport where girls are considered practically over the hill veteran by age 18. In a sport where whether or not you continue depends upon if your body will hold up to the pounding. Gymnastics is hard. Injuries, surgeries, and working out with pain is all part of the package and yet she just can't get enough. I cannot even imagine having all of the discipline and dedication to deal with all of that day in and day out. How does she find the motivation when she has already achieved so much? She has already spent a lifetime in the gym and she wants to go back when most Olympic All Around Champions take their gold medals and run.

Going into the Olympics she wasn't even truly the favorite due to injury, "age", and the hot shot dynamo Shawn Johnson who was winning everything in site leading up to the main event. She fell all over the place at 07 Nationals and placed second to Shawn in 08. Nastia would not be denied. She kept fighting and her determination paid off. I was rooting for her. I favor artistry over raw power in gymnastics. Nastia is absolutely beautiful on every event. Breathtaking. She makes acrobatics that should not be humanly possible look easy. You can't take a bad picture of her. I am in awe of her talent. She was clearly born to do this. All you have to do is take one look at her in action to see that and I am thrilled to get to do just that again. She is only focusing on two events to start out but the sky really is the limit for her. The road to London 2012 starts with USA Nationals August 12Th in Dallas and with the heart of a champion Nastia is leading the charge.

 2012 UPDATE on Nastia Liukin's Comeback story

Click here for another great Nastia video that illustrates her determination and beauty over the years. I absolutely get goose bumps just from watching it.

Read article: Nastia On October 2009 Worlds
News | Inside Gymnastics Magazine

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The Women's All Around portion of the 2009 US Nationals will be televised on Saturday August 15th on NBC.

Eat This, Not That - The No-Diet Weight Loss Solution From Men's Health

Eat This, Not That - The No-Diet Weight Loss Solution From Men's Health

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I really like Men's Health's "Eat This Not That" concept. The idea is not about dieting and eliminating an entire kind of food but more about making better choices and still getting to eat foods you like. Without compromising your waist band. Here is one of the latest about healthy food swaps at fast food restaurants. I used to and still do have a tendency to try to separate foods into "good" and "bad"-what I can eat and what I can't. This in turn kind of gets me into that food restriction mode which is not the healthiest thing for me. The idea of basic food swaps sort of reinforces the notion that I CAN eat little bit of everything if I want to. By simply swapping secret sauce for mustard and ketchup I can still eat that delicious hamburger and save myself some calories so that I don't feel guilty about eating it. I don't have to eliminate entire food groups because I have decided they are "bad."

Long Awaited Visit With My Fiance

 I couldn't have asked for a better visit. In a word, it was perfect and the main reason for that is simply because we were together. I was excited but also nervous while I waited for him at the airport but the moment I spotted him and gave him a big hug the nerves melted away and we picked up right where we left off. I couldn't take my eyes off of him that first night. It was so amazing to me that he was right in front of me in the flesh and not a flat image in my computer. I could actually touch him. He upgraded to business class on the international leg of his flight so he was actually pretty well rested when he got here.

We spent three nights in Vegas. We stayed at Polo Towers in The Villas. Our room was so nice!! Full kitchen, living area, flat screens, and dual sinks in the marble bathroom. The first night was our party night. We did Karaoke night at Imperial palace. I did two songs and thanks to the Tequila felt like quite the star even though my actual singing voice told a completely different story. MJ was sweet enough to do one song even though he actually hates Karaoke. We finished off the night at the Shadow Bar in Caesar's Palace. Night two was a delicious Italian dinner at Zefferino's where the service was impeccable and then we saw Blue Man Group. I didn't know it rained in Vegas! We had to take a cab back to our hotel so we wouldn't get soaked. Our last night we just wanted to relax so we hung out at the pool, watched a DVD in our hotel and ordered room service. Staying in, going out-we had just as much fun either way. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas-the good times continued back at home. We did a picnic by the beach and met some of his friends for happy hour among other things. Everyday with him was just as wonderful if not more then the one before it.

I still get a little teary eyed when I think about how yesterday he was here and today he is not. I slept better then ever every night he was here and after just one night without him the insomnia is back. I started missing him exactly two seconds after I had to say good bye. I treasured every single moment that we spent together and now the countdown starts up all over again but this time instead of 6 1/2 months it's only 3 1/2. The worst part is over and when he comes home next time it will be for good.

My Cyber Fiance

We decided to get married and then he left the country. I haven't felt his touch since December 27, 2008. I finally meet the man of my dreams and just as quickly he is snatched away. Our whirlwind adventure of amazing dates, getting to know each other and falling madly in love was to be rudely interrupted. One minute I'm day dreaming about what it would be like to marry him and the next I find out he is leaving for what feels like forever. I knew he was in the Army National Guard but that's just one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer right? Well, not exactly. Apparently, at any time a soldier can be fully activated and just like that life as you know it comes to a screeching halt ready or not.

He jokes with me that I was "difficult" and I have to say in a lot of ways I agree. I was kind of a tough cookie to crumble. That independent streak that I'd wrapped around myself with pride was being challenged like never before. My mind kept telling me that I didn't deserve him. My heart on the other hand was telling me something entirely different. Being sad and lonely was painful but comfortable in it's familiarity. It was a constant. It was what I knew. It was expected and like it or not I accepted it as my fate. I didn't believe I was good enough for anything better. I still say that if it were any other person it would not have been enough. His winning smile and his incredible personality melted my resolve. I had to be brought to a place where my heart could not be ignored. A place where I choose myself over my sadness and fear of letting him down. He was absolutely the one who could take me there. I am a tortured soul and It would be a huge mistake for someone who has everything going for him to end up with a woman like me. Don't help me, don't get too close or be too kind. I am so glad he didn't listen. He loved me and and nothing I said or did made him run and so eventually I followed. I followed my heart and it led me to a future I never thought could be mine. One that doesn't have a clouds and misery lurking around every corner. One in which I am as deserving of happiness and love as anyone else.

Since he left for Kosovo our plans have come to an abrupt halt. All we can do is love each other as hard as we can from a distance while we look forward to our future together. He goes to bed on my lunch break and wakes up when I am going to bed. I burn through my Whenever minutes like they are going out of style and Skype is is my new best friend. I feel lucky that I get to talk to him daily and cyber date him on the weekends. Watching him fall asleep inside my computer is the highlight of my day and thoughts of the moment when he will fall asleep beside me keeps me going. We met in March of last year and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together by November. The good news is that after 6 1/2 months I finally get to see him. The bad news is that after 12 blissful days of togetherness he will have to leave. He may be my Cyber Fiance right now but in the not so distant future he will be my Real Life Husband and all I can say is....I can't wait for what happens next.