What to Eat

I've always been a calorie counter but lately I'm trying to pay more attention to the make up of those calories.  When I don't, I come up short in protein, calcium and fiber and too high in sugars and random carbohydrates of little to no significant nutritional value.  When you focus on a calorie max AND the composition of those calories it forces you to make different decisions about what you eat.  I started this in January.  I knew I wouldn't be exercising for at least two months after surgery and thought it would be a good habit to get into.  I do not hit this mark every day of course but shooting for it helps me make better choices on a day to day basis.

Some people say a calorie is a calorie and it doesn't matter where it comes from as long as you are within a reasonable calorie budget.  I'm not sure how that can be true when the body reacts to fat, carbohydrates and proteins differently.  Protein is more filling while empty calories made up mostly of fat and carbohydrates leave you hungry.  Excess protein and carbohydrates serve a function even though any excess is stored as fat but fat is just fat and is 9 calories per gram whereas carbohydrates and proteins are 4 calories per gram.  They are different but you need them all which makes it a really tough balancing act to consume them AND stay within a reasonable sodium range.

These are foods that are helping me hit the 25% Fat, 50% Carbohydrates, 25% Protein range that I'm shooting for.  And yes, there are other macro nutrients and vitamins to be aware of.  I can't account for them all but in general when I watch these three categories the healthier foods naturally follow.

String Cheese
One stick has 6 grams of protein and is full of calcium.  Yes, it also has 6 grams of fat and 200 grams of sodium which is why you have to eat it in moderation which really, really sucks.  If you give me a block of cheese I'm gonna go wild, but the perfectly portioned 1 oz sticks of string cheese keeps me in check.  I don't drink milk so this is a good calcium source for me.  I usually eat one a day.

Fiber 1 cereal Original
I've been eating this for years to try to help me get to the recommended 30 grams of fiber per day.  Just 1/2 cup has a whopping 14 grams of fiber and only adds 60 calories to my day.  It also has 2 grams of protein and is very low fat.

Greek Yogurt
This is a new one for me but I'm giving it a try because just 4 oz of Fage Yogurt has 12 grams of protein.  That's huge!  It's also a good source of calcium.  It's high where you want it and low everywhere else with very little carbs and sodium and 0 fat.  It's pretty much the perfect food.  Except for the tart taste that is.  I've  been adding 1 teaspoon of honey or agave and a stevia packet to tone down the tartness.  You can also mix in granola or Fiber 1 cereal.  You have to be careful with the flavored ones because they are sometimes loaded with sugar and not as much protein but Yoplait makes a Vanilla flavored one that has only 7 grams of sugar and 13 grams of protein per serving.

My favorite fruit is an apple.  Yes, fruit tends to be high in sugar but at least it's not artificial.  Apples are a good fruit source for fiber and helps satisfy my sweet tooth too.

Baby Carrots
Baby Carrots are a favorite of mine to snack on because they are easy to pack up for work and they give me that snacking hand to mouth motion that I seem to crave.  I've heard that fresh is best but frozen is easy so that's what we usually end up eating for dinner.  Canned vegetables have way too much sodium.  Vegetables add to the protein count and have other nutrients without adding any fat.  The only ones I really hate are Peas, Lima Beans and celery.  I used to only eat corn and green beans but as I've gotten older I've branched out and like broccoli, spinach, Brussels Sprouts and cooked carrots. 

All natural popcorn
This is another latest obsession of mine.  There is healthy microwave popcorn out there but even the healthiest will typically still have at least 200 grams of sodium.  I've been buying the kernels and popping it on the stove to save myself the sodium.  1/3 cup of popcorn kernels makes about 10 cups of popcorn which is basically a giant bowl of goodness with zero fat AND protein that I can munch on without guilt.  It's the perfect snack for sitting on the couch to watch TV and movies.  It satisfies my snacker impulses in a healthy way.
My favorites are peanuts and almonds.  They are a good source of healthy fats and protein.  The only way it's possible for me to eat them at all is because I count out the serving size.  I used to eat out of the can and couldn't stop so I stopped eating them for a while.   It's good fat, but they have too much of it for over doing it.  If you cannot limit yourself to the serving size do not, I repeat, do not bring nuts into your home.

Dreyer's Light
I'm putting this on the list because Dreyer's Light Coffee flavored ice cream tastes way too good to only be 100 calories and makes the perfect light treat.  My favorite flavor is Coffee.  I gotta have my sweet treats.  I can eat 1/2 cup, okay it's probably more like 2/3 cup the way I pack it into the tiny 1/2 cup pyrex dishes as MJ is quick to point out.  But still, even then it's still satisfies my sweet tooth in less then 150 calories.  The sugar count on 1/2 cup is also a surprisingly low 11 grams and you are still getting 2 grams of protein.  Cha Ching!!

Ezekial and Double Fiber Bread
I've been addicted to Peanut Butter on toast for months now and it all started when I decided to try Ezekial bread.  Some people don't like the flavor and while it wouldn't be my preference for a sandwich it's perfect for toast.  Sodium is lurking silently in so many things including bread.  The low sodium version has zero sodium and the regular only has 75 grams when an average slice of regular bread has 125-190.  This helps me keep the sodium down, allows me to eat my beloved bread AND get the 4 grams of protein from it.  The Double Fiber bread is whole wheat and helps me up the fiber.  I'll usually have one of each.  The ezekial to keep the sodium down and the OroWheat Double Fiber bread for the extra fiber.  I love bread.  Eating it is inevitable so this way at least I can justify it with the whole grains, protein and extra fiber I'm getting.

Egg Beaters & Egg Whites
This is a staple for me.  I've been eating it for breakfast at work for a really, really long time.  Like, years.  I used to eat toast with jelly but the toaster got blown up at work and I had to find a new breakfast.  I was mad at first, but it's turned out okay because egg beaters or egg whites have 9 grams of protein for 1/3 cup.  To give it more flavor I add one slice of the pre cooked bacon which is only about 27-45 calories depending on what kind I get but that ups the protein power.  I pour it into a measuring cup, zap it in the microwave for about 1 minute 30 seconds and eat it right out of there.  I think some of my co workers may think it's weird that I'm eating bacon and eggs out of a measuring cup but oh well.

I really, really love beans and they are an excellent source of low fat protein and fiber.  My favorite are kidney, pinto and black beans but I'm pretty sure I like them all.  Except Lima.  Canned beans are easy but like anything canned they often have too much sodium.  Some of them you can buy without sodium or you can buy them fresh in a bag.  It requires soaking over night to soften them but when I made Chili with them it cut out a ton of sodium so it was worth it.  I want to make a three bean salad with fresh beans too.  

Grilled Chicken Breast
It's low fat, low calorie, packed with protein and can easily be mixed with vegetables or added onto a salad for a satisfying meal.  If you get the lean version ground beef and turkey is just as low fat as chicken breast.  I mostly stick with grilled chicken and mix in the other kinds of meat periodically.  You pretty much can't go wrong with grilled chicken.  Unless you are a vegetarian in which case Tofu is very similar in nutritional content.

My House is a Mess

Thank goodness it's Friday.  I've been back at work for four weeks now and every single one of them have been crazy busy.  Recovery is still very up and down.  Last week I thought I'd turned a corner and it was officially better, then Monday I had pain that I didn't expect, Wednesday the swelly belly was back with a vengeance but today I'm feeling okay.  I'm wearing pants with a zip for the first time in a month and I confess that I've already let out the top button.  I tried.  I have my 7 weeks post op doctors appointment today.  I am thrilled to be getting off early.

MJ is going to miss my Birthday this year which is a bummer but he's doing his best to make up for it.  He got me these adorable Sperry's.  My Birthday isn't for almost two weeks but since he'll be gone I opened it early and there are a few more things on the way.  My sister wanted a pair a few years ago and I told her they were ugly.  Then later on, I changed my tune and wanted a pair becausue I think they will be really comfortable and cute for vacation.  I totally forgot about wanting them but he remembered!  He didn't even know what kind to get so he googled boat shoes and found these which are totally perfect for me because they have pink in it.  He is seriously the best gift giver.  

I am in love with these shoes and my husband for getting them for me
And now, I have five more Friday confessions.

My sister bought me a Handy Stitch upon request about a million years ago.  Now every time I see an infomercial I feel like it's taunting me because it says how easy it is and mine is sitting in a box somewhere because I couldn't even figure out how to use it.  Maybe I should have asked for the Chia Pet instead; or maybe not because I'm really bad with plants and I probably would have killed it. 

I confess that I had over 600 photos on my i phone.  I didn't have enough storage to do my update and I was getting messages that I couldn't take a picture because my cloud is too full.  If I don't understand the cloud how can I even clear it?  The husband aka tech support had me delete a bunch of pictures and I'm now down to 225.

If I wear sandals or shoes without socks to the movies I bring a pair with me to put on in the theater.  I'm always cold and I want to enjoy my movie so I do what I gotta do.  50% of the time I forget to take them off and look like a major fashion victim wearing bright polka dot socks with slip on shoes.  Tonight we are going to Cinepolis Luxury Cinemas to see 300 Rise of an Empire and I'm wearing the socks but I always bring a blanket.  After going a few times we finally discovered that the armrest between those giant recliners comes up.  The blanket makes the whole experience that much better and it fends off the AC blast.

My husband finds popcorn, napkins, string cheese wrappers and Fiber 1 cereal bits in and under the couch and it's all my fault!  It's not intentional.  I'm a neat freak in so many ways but in this one area I am apparently not.  I was once banned from eating Fiber 1 on the couch and if I don't clean up my act he will do it again. 

Speaking of which my house is filthy!  It hasn't been this bad in the four years that we've lived there.  I'm usually very OCD about such things but events beyond my control have prevented me from cleaning.  I had surgery and then MJ jumped in and cleaned.  I was planning to pick it back up but it never happened.  After going back to work and realizing I wasn't as healed as I thought I needed to rest on weekends.  Saturday was supposed to be MJ's last day here and I wanted to spend those last hours with him not cleaning house.  I don't clean on Sundays so that was that.  This weekend I have no choice.  It has to be done.  I will say that I think it was good for me to see that the world won't end if the house is a mess.  A messy house tends to agitate me and put me in a really bad mood.  It was so far gone and I felt so helpless to do a thing about it that I had to let it go.  Sometimes other things are just more important.  I want a maid!!

Linking up with Leslie @A Blonde Ambition

That Damn Parade

MJ suggested we spend his last day at home doing a picnic since his flight to Germany didn't leave until 8p.  Even if I was all done packing if it was me I would have needed the day to think about packing and I would be too anxious for a picnic but MJ is different then me.  He doesn't worry.  We loaded up our picnic supplies, stopped at Albertson's for snacks and then headed for our favorite spot in Balboa Park.  The only problem was that we couldn't get there.  There were roads blocked off and detours every where we turned because of a St Patrick's day parade.  Why is there a St Patrick's Day parade?  It's not a national holiday.  Maybe I was just annoyed that it thwarted our plans, but I seriously don't understand why such a parade even exists.

We drove in circles until we finally figured out a way to get into the park and then couldn't find a parking spot so we went with plan B.  Mission Bay.  It's near the water which means that it was probably going to be chillier but we were determined to have our picnic.  There was plenty of parking but then when we opened the trunk we realized that the wine had leaked out of the plastic container.  It was an ENTIRE bottle of wine.  What a waste.  When you think you are going to have wine on your picnic and then find out that you are not it's very disappointing.
Windy City
It was close to 80 degrees at Balboa Park but it was cooler by the water as expected.  The sun was bright and warm but the wind was chilly.  I put on MJ's sweatshirt that I found in the back seat.  We soldiered on and ate our picnic snacks sans wine.  I pulled up the other side of the blanket to cover our legs and we laid there in the sun holding hands.  It's always nice to be outdoors and I'm fine as long as we are together, so it was a nice picnic but between the loss of wine and the chill factor we've had better.
Chillin in the Sun
We left around 1:30pm and had a few hours to relax and for MJ to finish up some packing.  I think that sun did me in because I could barely keep my eyes open for the rest of the day.  MJ loaded up his luggage in my car and then the unthinkable happened.  He couldn't find his wallet.  He remembers having it in the car when we left the Park so we have no clue what happened to it.  We turned our house upside down over an hour looking for it.  It was nowhere to be found so MJ called off the search and called the travel agent to get his flight rescheduled.  He has two separate passports but no military ID means no military travel.  He spent another hour cancelling credit cards and e mailing about the change of plans.  We hadn't eaten all day so I went out and got us the under 500 calorie black bean bowl from El Pollo Loco and donuts.  MJ specifically requested them an I agreed that a day like that definitely called for donuts.  I finally had my wine and then we fell asleep watching Anchor Man 2.  That movie is funny but really silly to the point of being so ridiculous that I probably could have done without watching it at all.  We woke up on the couch and I couldn't believe it was only 11:30pm.  It felt more like 4am.  

I'm glad I get to keep him for a little longer but losing a wallet is always a bad thing.  It really wasn't our day.  And it all started with that damn parade.

On a side totally unrelated note I wrote this entire post standing up, including picture downloading and collaging.  I have no idea why.

Starbucks Public Service Announcement

I knew something was up the minute I saw it. Not a whole lot gets by me when it comes to food.
Today's new and slightly smaller sandwich
Today is a long day for me so I treated myself to a reduced fat turkey bacon breakfast sandwich from Starbucks.  It helps get me out of bed because I know if I linger for too long I won't have time to stop.  I lingered for a bit longer then I should have anyway and then didn't put my lunch together the night before as per usual so I barely made it.  I like using the Starbucks app to pay.  MJ is a gold star member and I probably never will be but I have been using Starbucks gift cards that I've won in giveaways for a while now and when they run out I'll probably re load.  When I opened my Starbucks app there was a very important message. 

Usually it's just free downloads that I never download.  Does anybody download the free music?  It could be my new favorite song but I never get around to doing it. 

The message said free Grande hot coffee on them from March 12-14th with the purchase of a breakfast sandwich.  I had to look at my calendar since I never know the date.  March 12th!!!  I never get the coffee so this was a nice treat.
New sandwich on top vs old nutritional info on bottom
When I got back to the office and unwrapped my sandwich I noticed that it looked different.  It's a little smaller and paler.  It just didn't look as robust and hearty as it did the last time I got one so after I finished eating I did what any rational human being would do and went online to check out the nutritional information.  Sure enough; what used to be 320 calories is now 230 so we are being charged the same amount for a smaller, albeit healthier sandwich.  Which is fine I guess, because healthier is always good.  In addition to a lower calorie count the sodium and carbs went down too.  It's still good, but not quite as good as I remember.  The bacon is different and the cheese less gooey.  I think those extra 90 calories made a big difference.  I might be more willing to branch out get the breakfast wrap more often now that my go to sandwich isn't the same.
Old Version
So consider this a public service announcement about Starbucks.  I might be the only one who cares so acutely about the change in nutritional content of one of their sandwiches but almost everybody likes free stuff so go get your free coffee with breakfast sandwich purchase at participating stores while supplies last.

My Husband is Not My Brother

It's still warm.  It was in the 80's over the weekend so I took advantage of it and wore my new favorite wardrobe item-a dress.  I feel like we skipped Winter and are jumping straight ahead to Spring.

I don't know my parent's exact age.  I only know if they tell me and then afterwards I usually forget.  I don't feel bad about it because half the time I can't remember how old I am but the other side of it is I don't like to think of my parents getting older.  By  not knowing their age I am trying to trick myself into believing that they will be around forever and ever.  It's easy to trick yourself when your parents don't look old.  I mean, they have aged in the last 20 years but they still look great and go to the gym more then we do.  My beautiful mom turned another year older on Sunday and we celebrated with them on Saturday.

My mom was looking for a new blush so we went straight to Mac and I bought her that and the blush brush as an add on to her Birthday gift.  How many times in my life has it been the other way around?  Too many to count; so it feels good to buy something for her while we are out shopping.

My mom's choice for dinner was Benihana and it was a good one.  Neither one of my parents have been there and the last time MJ or I went was a long long time ago before we even met.  If you've never been there-it's a Japanese restaurant where they cook your entire meal on a giant grill right in front of you.  They also sing and give you a free dessert on your birthday.  The food was really good and we all had a really fun time.

They also take your picture and give it to you for free.  I was waiting for the lady to tell us that it would be $10 if we wanted to buy the picture but there was no charge and they even give you a code so you can get it online.  And while we are on the topic; what's up with places charging you exorbitant prices for pictures when everyone has digital cameras and can take it themselves for free?  I don't even know what to do with actual in my hand picture anymore.  I tend to stuff them into our wedding album that we keep downstairs on the lower shelf of our coffee table.

We were seated with another couple celebrating their Birthday and at one point the woman says to us, "How many years apart are you?"  I looked at MJ and we start laughing because it was clear to me that she thought we were brother and sister and that my parents were our parents.  It was a little awkward because we are very married and then she was apologizing.  I don't know if I felt worse for them or for us but we all just laughed it off.  I wasn't offended but it was awkward.  We started elbowing each other.  I asked mom to make him stop, we kissed (on the lips for emphasis) and made up and that was the end of it.  It's not the first time someone thought we were related.  I see couples that look related and I kinda think it's funny but I would NEVER ask someone such a question unless I knew for sure.  It's not as bad as someone asking how far along I am when there is no baby in sight though.  That would be much worse.

Must Have Spring Dresses

Fit & Flare Belted Ponte // Tie Waist Jersey // Oxford Shirtdress
I'm not a dress person.  At least I wasn't but now I can't believe that I've waited this long to like them.  It's actually not too surprising because I'm always late when it comes to fashion.  Not that dresses are  a new trend or anything considering that women have been wearing them since the beginning of time.  I'm a casual girl and dresses have always felt too dressy.  I like to be comfortable and I think there is a part of me that wants to blend into the wall a little bit. To me, a woman in a dress stands out. I do not want to stand out.  I needed loose fitting things for work and now suddenly a whole new world has opened up to me. I might have gone a little crazy, but I never expected that I would find so many I liked.  I have a bunch of dresses in my closet that I haven't even popped the tags on but that's all changing now. Simply put. I love them now. Dresses can be casual.  They are comfortable and  easy. It's all one piece so you don't even have to coordinate a top and bottom. These are all leggings friendly too so I can wear them year round.  It takes me a while to come around to certain things but once I do I'm all in.
Fit & Flare Jersey // Floral Print Crepe // Stripe Waisted Chambray
I really love it when shopping is just meant to be and this shopping trip is a perfect example.  Let me explain. First, I have surgery which results in a Buddha belly.  I decide to go shopping for comfortable legging and boots friendly dresses at Old Navy on my lunch break.  You know those retail sales e mails that a lot of people think you should unsubscribe from when you are on a budget so as not to tempt yourself into shopping when you shouldn't?  Well, not hours after my mini shopping spree I get an e mail from Old Navy advertising 40% off all dresses and free shipping with a purchase greater then $50 online only for a limited time only.  Nine hours to be exact.  I just spent $125.14 cents on 5 dresses none of which were on sale but I did get a 10% military discount.  I'm not going to let that stop me from taking advantage of the deal so I order every single dress I bought in store plus one more online for only $2.00 more.  One thing I don't like about online shipping is that I like to try on every single thing first so I don't have to deal with the return hassle, but I've already tried 5 of the 6 on so I already know exactly which sizes to get.  On top of all that magic I earned an additional cash back bonus of $5.84 using my Discover card to shop online.  Cha ching.  Those pesky junk mails actually can come in handy.  If it's a store you really like and can technically afford to shop in, you might as well know what sales are happening.  Unless you have no self control.  Then it's probably not a good idea.

And there you have it from a non fashion blogger.  Must have Spring dresses.  I know this because I bought them all.
Maxi Skirt-Roxy-similar here // actual here
But the whole meant to be thing doesn't stop there.  I returned the original dresses to Old Navy and on a whim decided to check Marshall's for leggings which is right next door.  I ran smack dab into my first Maxi skirt ever.  A Roxy Maxi in my size for only $19.99.  I bought my first maxi dress over the summer and have been wanting a skirt ever since.  You all know how random Marshall's can be.  I was really, really surprised to find it there and it has to be because I wasn't looking for it specifically and if I'd gone even a day later it probably would've been gone.  And it looks like it was made to go with the super soft black shirt that I bought at Old Navy when I only meant to return the dresses.  Like I said, it was meant to be.

I guess I shouldn't make up my mind that I hate something before I've actually tried it.  I do this a lot.  Especially with food.  MJ if you are reading this please note that this new found realization does not extend to food even though I am well aware that it probably should. 

Post Op Observations

I REALLY love sleeping on my tummy and I HATE sleeping on my back.  When I am forced to sleep on my back all night my butt is literally sore when I wake up.  After 2 weeks side sleeping was more comfortable but I cannot wait to get back on my stomach.  I don't know now pregnant women do it.

I'm perfectly content doing nothing.  During my the 23 days off I left the house exactly 7 times.  I did not at any time become bored with staying home.  Not surprising.  I'm a classic introvert.

My purse is ridiculously heavy.  One day I was trying to get it out of my car and it actually strained my belly.  What the hell is in there?  The thing is that there really isn't much.  My what's in my purse post would be so boring, but dang it sure is heavy.  I need to figure out what's going on.

My husband still sends me flowers even though we have all but sworn of Valentine's day and don't really celebrate anniversaries either.  As expected I came back to work and was hit with a crap ton of work.  This is our busiest time of year so I knew it was coming.  As soon as I got there it was non stop and it really sucked to be there.  Just when the pain was hitting me I got a 1st day back at work flower delivery from MJ.  It was so sweet and it felt so much sweeter receiving it on that day then getting it on Valentine's Day ever would.

MJ is truly AMAZING!!  I already knew that but this is just additional confirmation.  He picked up the slack around the house without complaint AND he thinks I'm hot.  Even with my Buddha belly and sexy surgical tape he tells me how hot I am and it really means a lot to me.  All of this on top of no sex.  It had to be said.  The man is a saint.

I might be an adult but I am still my mother's child.  My parents were right there the day after and my mom was constantly checking up on me to see how I was doing and asking me if there was anything that I needed.
I did not get this dress but if enough people tell me it's cute I might go back for it
Sitting upright in a chair for 8 hours is harder work then you might think.  My first day back at work was really hard.  The belt came off.  The top button came undone.  Then the zipper came down.  By 11am my belly was hurting pretty bad to the point where if it didn't get better I'd have to go home.  I took a motrin and it got better so I toughed it out.  Tuesday was better but then Wednesday felt worse.  I sit down in front of a computer all day long so I didn't think it would be this hard to go back.  Now I know how silly it was for me to think I could go back after two weeks when I probably really need at least four. 

Leggings, dresses and boots is a work fashion do.  I've never much been into dresses let alone dresses with boots so this is all new to me.  I bought 6 new dresses at Old Navy and a bunch of leggings and tights from Kohl's.  I don't plan on wearing regular pants to work for awhile.  A totally justified shopping spree!! If I have to be there I might as well be comfortable and now I will have even more options for getting dressed in the morning. 

Wearing Uggs is another work fashion do.  I've never worn  them before because it seemed too unprofessional but when I reached for my shoes on Friday morning I didn't care.  Its been too warm to wear them lately but It was rainy and cold and they were lucky I showed up to work dammit!  Turns out it's not a big deal just like I knew it wouldn't be since we don't have a dress code.  Nobody looked at me funny.  I'm still not sure how cute Uggs are but they make my feet feel good.  I think I'm going to make a habit of it.  They don't call it casual Friday for nothing. 

The world won't end if I miss work for 3 weeks and use up a whole bunch of my sick hours.  My duties at work were shuffled around and when I came back I was able to dig right in and pick up where I left off.  I had the hardest time letting go of those hours but I hardly ever call in sick anyways.  I will build up my reserves again.

I may have a prescription drug addict lurking inside of me.  Those hydrocodone pills are the bomb!  I stopped taking them at night after two weeks but I took them again last week.  I could still justify taking them because I do still have some pain but mainly they are awesome sleeping pills.  I did not sleep well on Sunday night and I could not spend a week of work and not sleeping well so I did what I had to do.  As soon as those waves swept over my body I was out like a light in a nice deep sleep and still felt refreshed in the morning.  I picked up some over the counter sleeping pills over the weekend so I'll switch over to that but I will miss the good stuff.
Don't believe everything you read.  I read so many horror stories on the internet but I worked myself up over nothing.  The surgery itself went very smoothly and recovery hasn't been that bad.  It's been up and down.  I felt so good so fast and then it just leveled off so that after the two week mark I started to get frustrated that I wasn't 100% back to normal yet.  I think I can do more then I can and then don't realize I've pushed myself until after I've already done it.  I still have some aches and pains and my stomach still swells up after I move around a lot.  I'm doing really well overall and with time I expect to be back to normal.

I am brave.  Kind of.  I get worked up if I skin my knee and I'm terrified of spiders.  For a wimp I think I handled this okay.  MJ may beg to differ.  There is something about facing a surgery and coming out okay on the other side that makes me feel that maybe I'm not quite as wimpy as I thought.

Modern medicine is amazing.  My incisions are tiny and barely visible.  When I look at my doctor I'm amazed.  She is young, pretty, obviously very smart and knows how to operate on someone through tiny holes.  She literally takes peoples lives in her hands.  My mind is boggled by the concept that such a thing can be done and that there are people in the world capable of learning it.