Movies and Gloom

It's been a gray May.  Rain off and on (not enough considering the drought), misty, and mostly in the 60's.  Very unusual for San Diego.  I feel like I know what it's like to live in the Pacific NW.  Well, probably not quite, because even though it feels like it's been forever we probably haven't even touched the gloom that goes on there.  Day after day of consecutive gray skies without any sign of the sun is just slightly unsettling to me.  And gloomy.  I feel really bad for all those vacationers who came here expecting blue skies and sun.  I promise it's usually perfect this time of year; we're not just making it up.
Nothing to do with movies but it's the only pic I took all weekend AND my favorite snack lately
I didn't even realize it was a long weekend until a few days before and I'm actually glad I didn't have plans for the long weekend because if I did I probably would have been bummed.  I'm already a homebody by nature, and when the weather is chilly and gray and MJ is out of town, I retreat even more.  The weather definitely affects my mood and I'm just not as excited about doing things when it's gloomy.  I only left the house all weekend to pick up food (twice) and exercise (once).  I didn't even have to go grocery shopping; which was really odd, but greatly appreciated.  Other than that my weekend consisted of cleaning house, a lot of movies and a lot of You Tube videos.  I'm going through this phase where I obsessively watch ballet videos and documentaries on You Tube.  I got hooked on this City Ballet Series and now I totally regret my decision not purse a career as a ballerina and audition for the School of American Ballet in New York City.  Twice in one week, I dreamed I was a dancer on on pointe wearing a black leotard and pink tights.  I was long, lean and oh so graceful. It felt amazing, and then I woke up.

So about those movies.  Netflix sent us four instead of three for reason unknown (love it when they do that) so I had plenty to choose from.

I'm not usually the biggest fan of musicals but the second I saw the trailer for this I couldn't wait to see it.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those classic Annie songs.  I broke out in goose bumps during Hard Knock Life, Tomorrow and Maybe.  It's not even just the songs themselves.  I love the songs, but it's also that I associate Annie with little girls having their dreams come true performing it on Broadway.  It is the quintessential plum role for a little girl to play on Broadway.  This is definitely one movie I'm better off watching alone because I sang the songs and danced, very badly so it was nice that there was no one there to judge me for it.  There were some cheesy parts, and other parts where the singing and dancing was a bit awkward, but what do you expect?  It's Annie; but I loved the modern spin on an old classic.

You're Not You
This one is available on Neflix for streaming. This was another movie that it's a good thing I watched alone because at the end I was sobbing.  Chest heaving, loud sobbing; the whole bit.  The ending was just so so painfully sad.  If you get emotional on movies there is no way that you won't cry watching this and if you NEVER cry on movies I dare you to see if you can get through this one without a tear.  Hilary Swank did an amazing job playing a character suffering from ALS.   What a terrible, horrible disease.  I ended up having to watch it on my laptop because as per usual whenever MJ leaves the technology in our house quits working and I couldn't get into Netflix on our TV.  

I fell asleep on this at the drive in when we went to see it because I am not capable of staying up for the second movie.  At the drive in you get two for the price of one but if we go to the night showing there is a good chance I'm only seeing one. MJ however, did not fall asleep so I specifically waited until he was gone to rent this one. 

Best of Me
This was a typical Nicholas Sparks movie.  Very sappy and full of the romantic angst that only star crossed lovers can produce but also very good.  I didn't cry until the very, very end. 

Big Eyes
I really like Amy Adams so I was excited to see this one.  I despised her scheming swindling husband and what he did to Amy Adam's character, but I loved everything else.  Interesting insight into the origins of Keane paintings, which I realize I've seen before but didn't really know anything about them.

Mad Max Fury Road
I'm throwing this one in there because we went to see this last weekend as our last date night for a while and it was AMAZING.  At first I was thinking, eh I don't know about this movie, but then it picked up.  Charlize Theron was outstanding.  Shaved hair, dirty, one armed, strong and beautiful.  She kicked some serious butt.  All the women were bad ass.  Just for kicks we watched the original Mad Max a while ago when we heard about the remake.  I'd seen it before and remember it being this ground breaking movie.  Watching it for the second time.  Well, it was just weird.  So weird.  And I guess that was ground breaking for that time.  I just don't remember it being that out there and actually kind of pointless.  Well, the remake was shiny and chrome.  You'll know what I'm talking about after you watch it, but you still won't understand what that actually means.  It was new yet still paid homage to the original Mad Max weirdness with on the road desert fighting scenes and strange characters.  The traveling battle guitarist has got to go.  That was just a little bit too much; but even still I have to say it fit.    

And that concludes my weekend recap.  

No Shoes Allowed

The no shoe thing started when I moved into my very first place entirely on my own and found myself surrounded by wall to wall light beige carpet. I was broke.  I didn't have money for repeated carpet cleaning so I saved money by leaving my shoes at the door and keeping the carpets clean.  It started as a matter of economics and then it became a matter of dirt when I walked by a neighboring doorway one day and saw an icky trail of brown leading from the doorway to the kitchen.  That was it.  Shoes are dirty and after five years of keeping them out there was no going back for me.

It's a pretty easy rule to enforce when you live in a 400 square foot studio by yourself.  Throw in a husband who agrees, but tends to get lax about the rules and it felt impossible.  When we moved into our new house five years ago I started looking for a cute no shoes allowed sign to help my cause and quickly realized that I would have to be the shoe police if this was going to happen. 

What about my flip flops?  Can I wear those in the house?
Do you wear them outside?
Yes, but they aren't real shoes.
Do you wear them in public restrooms?
Then you can't wear them in the house.

I caught him putting on his shoes in the morning upstairs and then wearing them downstairs.  Bare feet on floors and carpets sounds different then shoes.  I was half asleep and half blind so I grabbed my glasses to take a peak.  Busted. What part of no shoes in the house wasn't he getting? 

And the conversation repeated.

I'm getting dressed in the morning upstairs and the shoes are upstairs.  I'm just going straight out the door.
Do you wear those shoes outside in the streets and public restrooms?
Then you can't wear them in the house. 

I even caught my dad upstairs with his shoes on when he stayed at our house a few months ago and I had to say it.  Take them off please.

When we replaced our carpets with hardwoods downstairs MJ relapsed a little thinking it wouldn't matter so much but dirt is dirt and we walk through a lot of it on any given day.  Sidewalks, black top parking lots, public restrooms and that grimy movie theater floor.  I like the idea that the hardwoods are fully cleanable, but I still don't like the idea of dirty shoes tracking in outside grime.  We compromised on house shoes since those are only worn occasionally outside and not in public places.  I had to give him something. 

Not wearing shoes in the house seems so simple yet it is ever so complicated to enforce and a real pain in the butt sometimes.  Like, when you put your shoes on and then have to come back inside because you forgot something.  Also, dealing with all the shoes that inevitably pile up.  We have a nice bench with a shoe shelf underneath it by our front door but we don't use our front door very often.  We park our cars in the garage and enter through the garage door which opens right into the kitchen which is not an ideal location for removing shoes while juggling a lunch bag, a purse, the mail and a water bottle.  Especially tall boots that require at least one hand to remove.  When leaving the house he wanted to put his shoes on by the front door and walk through the house to the garage and again I had to be the meanie and put my bare foot down.  Yes, it's easier to sit on the cute little bench and put them on, but a rule is a rule and if we agreed on no shoes in the house we will not wear shoes in the house.  It might sound like I'm being a bitch and in a way I am, but it's kind of an all or nothing thing.  If you are going to wear shoes half the time don't bother at all because you have already defeated the purpose. 

Then there are the guests.  We don't entertain a lot, but when we do if it's an inside type of deal I have no problem with asking people to take their shoes off.  If he won't ask his friends I will.  If it's an outdoor/indoor type of thing with a large group of people it can get a bit more complicated and I'm willing to make exceptions if need be, but in general it's not that difficult to get people to respect your house rules if you ask.  Most people either do it themselves in their own homes and/or they understand and are not offended. 

I can't even imagine wearing shoes in my bedroom or bathrooms now and it's weird (and gross) to think that I once did.  I even feel bad wearing shoes in other peoples homes.  I want to take them off on principle, but not everyone has that rule and if they don't then taking mine off isn't going to help much.

It's true that you have to pick your battles, but I'm glad I stuck to my guns on this one because it's not an imaginary germ floating through the air.  It's dirt, and I can see it when I look at the bottom of my shoes.  I wanted to throw up my hands and forget it, but MJ eventually came around and I really appreciate that he did.  I never did find a no shoes sign I really liked, but now he rarely forgets even when he's running in and out to the grill.

Do you allow shoes in your house?  Why or why not?

Strong Silent Type

MJ is even less of a Birthday person than I am if that's possible.  For me it just kicked in more recently, but he's always been that way.  I organized a surprise dinner party for him on his 30th because it's a big Birthday and because I don't think he would have consented.  He just doesn't care that much about the hoopla.

We usually do a dinner of choice but he didn't want that this year.  I was raring to go to dinner too since I just came off Whole30 but he wanted to do a picnic and then invite the guys over to play poker and watch the big fight. 
The one picture I managed to get out of him.  Doesn't he look thrilled?
My husband is the strong and silent type.  He has a high tolerance for pain, doesn't complain much, doesn't get worked up about much, doesn't stress, doesn't get giddy with excitement, and is not a naturally chatty person although I've managed to coax him into it over the years.  I am basically the opposite and maybe that's why we balance each other out so well.  I'm a girl.  I like to to talk and sometimes he won't cooperate, but he's worked on it and his willingness to do so is just one of the many reasons I love him so much.  Well, he was really chatty that day at the park.  We picked up sloppy sandwiches from Capriotti's, wine from Bev Mo and sat in the sun talking about everything from our future house, our savings account, and our trip to Kauai among other things.  It was awesome and we had a really fun time just being together and hanging out.

You know that thing with kids, how you can't believe their getting older because somehow you've frozen them at the age they were when you met? Well, that's how it is with MJ.  Not that I think he's a kid or anything, but at four years younger than me he seemed like such a baby when we met.  He was this young hottie in his twenties and I was a sophisticated "older woman."  Okay, I don't know about the sophisticated part but I felt like I'd been around the block a few times and wasn't quite sure what a younger guy had to offer.  The years between us seemed huge but once I fell in love with him they all melted away and of course I realized four years does not a cougar make and that it wasn't such a big deal after all.   Now we joke about how I robbed the cradle and how movies like The Sure ThingThe Breakfast Club and the Brat Pack phenomenon were before his time.  He most definitely is not a baby now, nor when I met him, but I still kind of think of him that way and can't believe he's getting older.

I made myself scarce when the guys came over that night so they could have their guy time.  I was not interested in the fight anyway and anytime I have ever gone to a "fight party" I barely even watch it.  I stayed downstairs until everyone arrived to say hello then went downstairs again for food but spent the majority of the night catching up on my DVR while sitting in his bean bag. The one he's usually sitting in.  The one I didn't originally want him to get but have since changed my mind to believe that everyone should have one.  So cozy.

I felt like the crappiest wife because his gift did not arrive in time for his Birthday as it was supposed to and I didn't have anything to give him.  I tried to make up for it by professing my love for him while we were on our picnic.  Isn't that really the best gift of all?  That was my lead in when I told him that his gift wasn't here.  Hopefully, I redeemed myself by making sure that his football jersey was washed in time for his game and laying out his entire outfit from jersey to socks on Sunday.  He said, that's good wife stuff right there, and it made me feel good because although I could always do better that's what I'm always trying to be.

On my Birthday I made a point to tell him that I enjoyed it and had a good day.  He's not the type to do that so I asked.  "Yes," he said simply and while it was not the gushing response that I might have given if he says yes, he means it and that was good enough for me.