Moving Sucks, Moving Twice Sucks Harder

Real estate is weird. I feel like everything happens backwards. You sell your house when you don't yet have a place to live. You buy a new home, before you've sold your old one. You pay a hefty commitment deposit and agree to buy before you've had a home inspected or even built. You choose flooring and other design elements when the necessary funding for it won't be finalized for weeks or months. Every single  detail for moving or buying a home has been set in place, yet nothing is truly final until those keys are in your hand. None of this makes any sense, whatsoever in my head. Nothing is done in the order you'd think it should be done, and yet this is how it works.

How can anyone function like this? The answer is very stressfully.

I'm more than a little freaked out by this entire process. Admittedly, I'm a reluctant home buyer and home seller so all of this madness makes me particularly crazy. I'm on board, and right there with my husband getting shit done, but I'm not the driving force.

The madness began approximately two weeks after my husband returned home from living abroad for almost two years, and it really hasn't stopped since. That was mid June, so I've had about two and a half months to settle into this reality, but there was much agonizing and even tears when it all began. My husband came home hell bent on finding us another house and he would not have stopped until he had his way. Our house is fine. It's been a lovely home for us the last eight years, and looking back on it, we would still say it was an excellent starter home and a really good decision to buy. It's spacious enough for the two of us. We did some small renovations that we were both very happy with. The work commute isn't terrible. We could use a little bit more space in the kitchen, I hate it that our garage door opens right into the kitchen, and the surrounding area outside our little community is a bit sketch, but the biggest problem with our house from my husband's perspective is that we don't have a yard. He was okay with it when we bought it, but over time this has become something he really wants. I would most definitely enjoy a yard, but I could also be okay without one. Also, I really didn't want to move. Financially, I like our mortgage just fine, especially after refinancing. Interest rates and home prices have gone up since we originally purchased. Between that and the seemingly impossible notion of selling one home and buying another at the same time, made me inclined to stay put. Also moving sucks. Period. In the end, I really wanted my husband to be happy and satisfied in his living space, so we decided to make a move, but there was an entire week where we were at a stand off. Completely deadlocked between two houses.

The funny thing about it is that it was really my idea. Kind of. He mentioned it, but I reminded him about it. We looked at the home, and left. I said no way, and I really wasn't thinking about it anymore, but I could tell how much he wanted it. I suggested that we could go back, and if we could make it work we might as well not wait. Let's just list our house and get it done so as not to take any chances. I didn't think I could handle the stress of having to time buying and selling just right with hard deadlines. We went back for more information, but in the meantime I found a different home I thought would be a better financial decision.

It was quite frankly a battle of wills. I threw every argument in the book at him to try to get him to see things my way, but he would not budge. Not an inch. He never wavered. One of us had to give in, and in the end it was me, because it didn't make sense to move at all if he wasn't going to be satisfied long term. We crunched the budget numbers, and had many lengthy conversations. So many conversations. So much discussion!! It was to the point where that's all we talked about and I was completely over it, but we needed to keep talk about it. Endlessly. Until we made a decision that both of us could live with. I'll be honest. I didn't think I could live with it, but I took the leap of faith with my husband that we would be okay, and we decided to move forward.

Buying a house is a BIG decision. It should never be done on a whim or taken lightly. I realize I'm a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to big financial decisions, but I think challenging him was necessary. If he really wanted it, he'd stay right in there with me debating it to the bitter end, but if it was just a passing fancy, he'd say forget it and we'd move on. He did not do that. And here we are.

So much work goes into selling a home. MJ cleaned the garage and backyard. We had the windows washed. We purged the entire house and had it professionally deep cleaned. Who knew you could order that on Amazon!! And they did a great job too. We met with our realtor. We signed lots of paperwork. Docusign was a daily occurrence, and thank goodness it's option because I don't know how we would have found time to run around signing all that paperwork. We kept our house model home magazine perfect for three weeks, and spent time out of the house as needed to allow an open house and whatever showings we could get. It was a pain in the butt, but if you want to sell your house you have to do what you have to do.

The last house in our neighborhood that sold went into escrow within a few days, so we were getting a tad bit worried. We got one low ball offer but ended up with two very good offers on the same day just under three weeks after listing. We countered both and they both accepted, so we got to pick. We were shocked. We were pretty certain one would walk, because the initial offer was low, but in the end they agreed to our counter, and they got the house because their offer was stronger. We offered a repair credit. They accepted. I kept waiting for the deal to fall through but it never did. They wanted to come by for one last look, so we hustled to get the house show ready again. They promptly released all contingencies, and the deal was done.

We sold our house! It felt like a huge accomplishment. We had to be out of our house in three weeks, but but had no place to live. Madness. I'd been looking and researching here and there all along, but reasonably priced short term lease prospects in San Diego are few and far between and you really can't sign a lease until you sell the house. Craigslist is like the wild wild west so I had to get really good at spotting scams and for a while apartment hunting felt like a part time job. I spent hours combing Craigslist and apartment websites while my husband searched for storage space, lined up movers, and ordered packing materials. In the end it all fell into place just two weeks before moving day.

Moving sucks. Moving twice sucks harder. I knew it would, and I don't recommend it! I am however, very grateful that it's even an option for us since we live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the US. I'm also really glad that I get to do this with MJ. Nothing phases him too much. In the sea of chaos and anxiety that moving brings, his calm presence is exactly what I need. We make a great team. I could not imagine having to do all of this alone.

I don't know who's bright idea it was to plan a vacation in the middle of all of this. Okay, it was me. Guilty. And two weekends ago we had an overnight trip planned for a five hour wine tasting event. I may or may not have woken up with a bad headache, but it was totally worth it. It's not how many days you have until close of escrow, it's how many weekends you have, and we weren't left with much. I have no idea how and when we're going to get all the packing done before the movers show up, but we'll figure it out together.