No Shoes Allowed

The no shoe thing started when I moved into my very first place entirely on my own and found myself surrounded by wall to wall light beige carpet. I was broke.  I didn't have money for repeated carpet cleaning so I saved money by leaving my shoes at the door and keeping the carpets clean.  It started as a matter of economics and then it became a matter of dirt when I walked by a neighboring doorway one day and saw an icky trail of brown leading from the doorway to the kitchen.  That was it.  Shoes are dirty and after five years of keeping them out there was no going back for me.

It's a pretty easy rule to enforce when you live in a 400 square foot studio by yourself.  Throw in a husband who agrees, but tends to get lax about the rules and it felt impossible.  When we moved into our new house five years ago I started looking for a cute no shoes allowed sign to help my cause and quickly realized that I would have to be the shoe police if this was going to happen. 

What about my flip flops?  Can I wear those in the house?
Do you wear them outside?
Yes, but they aren't real shoes.
Do you wear them in public restrooms?
Yes.
Then you can't wear them in the house.

I caught him putting on his shoes in the morning upstairs and then wearing them downstairs.  Bare feet on floors and carpets sounds different then shoes.  I was half asleep and half blind so I grabbed my glasses to take a peak.  Busted. What part of no shoes in the house wasn't he getting? 

And the conversation repeated.

I'm getting dressed in the morning upstairs and the shoes are upstairs.  I'm just going straight out the door.
Do you wear those shoes outside in the streets and public restrooms?
Yes.
Then you can't wear them in the house. 

I even caught my dad upstairs with his shoes on when he stayed at our house a few months ago and I had to say it.  Take them off please.

When we replaced our carpets with hardwoods downstairs MJ relapsed a little thinking it wouldn't matter so much but dirt is dirt and we walk through a lot of it on any given day.  Sidewalks, black top parking lots, public restrooms and that grimy movie theater floor.  I like the idea that the hardwoods are fully cleanable, but I still don't like the idea of dirty shoes tracking in outside grime.  We compromised on house shoes since those are only worn occasionally outside and not in public places.  I had to give him something. 

Not wearing shoes in the house seems so simple yet it is ever so complicated to enforce and a real pain in the butt sometimes.  Like, when you put your shoes on and then have to come back inside because you forgot something.  Also, dealing with all the shoes that inevitably pile up.  We have a nice bench with a shoe shelf underneath it by our front door but we don't use our front door very often.  We park our cars in the garage and enter through the garage door which opens right into the kitchen which is not an ideal location for removing shoes while juggling a lunch bag, a purse, the mail and a water bottle.  Especially tall boots that require at least one hand to remove.  When leaving the house he wanted to put his shoes on by the front door and walk through the house to the garage and again I had to be the meanie and put my bare foot down.  Yes, it's easier to sit on the cute little bench and put them on, but a rule is a rule and if we agreed on no shoes in the house we will not wear shoes in the house.  It might sound like I'm being a bitch and in a way I am, but it's kind of an all or nothing thing.  If you are going to wear shoes half the time don't bother at all because you have already defeated the purpose. 

Then there are the guests.  We don't entertain a lot, but when we do if it's an inside type of deal I have no problem with asking people to take their shoes off.  If he won't ask his friends I will.  If it's an outdoor/indoor type of thing with a large group of people it can get a bit more complicated and I'm willing to make exceptions if need be, but in general it's not that difficult to get people to respect your house rules if you ask.  Most people either do it themselves in their own homes and/or they understand and are not offended. 

I can't even imagine wearing shoes in my bedroom or bathrooms now and it's weird (and gross) to think that I once did.  I even feel bad wearing shoes in other peoples homes.  I want to take them off on principle, but not everyone has that rule and if they don't then taking mine off isn't going to help much.

It's true that you have to pick your battles, but I'm glad I stuck to my guns on this one because it's not an imaginary germ floating through the air.  It's dirt, and I can see it when I look at the bottom of my shoes.  I wanted to throw up my hands and forget it, but MJ eventually came around and I really appreciate that he did.  I never did find a no shoes sign I really liked, but now he rarely forgets even when he's running in and out to the grill.

Do you allow shoes in your house?  Why or why not?

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Our Fridge is Outta Control

Our refrigerator had gotten out of control.  Mj is basically unstoppable when it comes to the way he throws things back in the fridge without regard to where they came from after he takes them out.  Accordingly, I gave up on asking him to try to put stuff back where he found it.  The freezer is fine because stuff that comes out of there usually stays out.  Turns out there is a reason for putting the cheese, lunch meat and the vegetables back where you found them and it wasn't just me being an OCD naggy wife.  After a while I couldn't find anything.  I'd open the doors to look and then say forget it and just ask Mj if he knew if we had anymore egg beaters or whatever else I was looking for because I'd given up on trying to dig through the mess that had become our fridge.  Nothing seemed to fit and everything was crammed everywhere into every nook and cranny.   

After a good cleaning and organization

I got really annoyed every time I needed to get something and told Mj he needs to organize this fridge.  Not because I didn't want to.  I've done it before...and look how that turned out.  I just thought it might be something that he'd maintain if it was his project and he did it himself.  Well, not surprisingly that didn't happen and I finally had enough.  I got tired of cramming things in, wrenching things out and digging around whenever I needed something.  Our refrigerator is a good size, we don't even have THAT much food and there is no reason that everything shouldn't fit.  I announced that I was fed up and couldn't take it anymore. Not only was this refrigerator getting re organized but it's dirty and it needs a good cleaning.  I took everything out including the one removable shelf and the drawers.  Mj washed those out while I went about scrubbing down the shelves.  One by one I put every single item back and a miracle happened.  Everything fit with room to spare.  We'd only removed a few items and trashed them so basically the same amount of food that was crammed in there before now fit with no problem.

That very night Mj threw an onion in the door after he used it.  "Why did you do that?"  I asked.  "I don't know."  He moved it.  Then, he caught himself as he was about to put the lunch meat in some random place.  Progress.  I'm hoping that actually seeing how non functional our refrigerator had become will get him to see how the simple act of putting stuff back where you got it can make a big difference over the long term.  I can always hope right?

The Trash Man

My husband is not really into the whole household cleaning and organization thing.  He is amazing in the kitchen and will cook up a great dinner or bake cookies in a heart beat but it can be difficult to get him to straighten up or pick up after himself.  He can be forgetful too.  Sometimes I have to remind him over and over to do certain things before he remembers to do it. 

There is one particular thing however that he does unprompted and without any reminders by me.  Rain or shine like nobodies business he is on it when it comes to taking out the trash.  I have never had to remind him about this chore as long as we have lived together.  In fact, I never even specifically asked him to...he just did...like magic.  When our little recycling trash bin just outside the garage door fills up he dumps it.  Come Monday morning as I lay in bed still hitting snooze I can hear the familiar scraping of him wheeling those trash bins out to the curb before he goes to work.   By the time I roll up to the house later that day after work those bins are back inside the fence next to the house right where they belong.  More often then not he forgets to put a trash bag in the can but bless his heart, he will dump the kitchen trash and will even walk it outside to the trash bins if I pull it out and leave it next to the door.  What is it with men and trash? It's just about the manliest household chore around.  I wish cleaning the bathroom or dusting the blinds were considered manly.  I can hear it now.  No honey, you better not be cleaning the bathroom again.  You know that's my job.  Not likely, but the trash is their domain and you would be hard pressed to find a man who does not believe it is his inherent duty to handle it.  And thank goodness because I have so many other things to do and remind him about so I really appreciate that I don't ever have to haul those stinky heavy trash bins to the curb.

When it comes to trash I can sit back, relax and know that it's being taken care of.  Just as soon as I finish cleaning the house.

....and Everything in it's Place

My poor sweet husband.  He has to put up with me nagging bugging him about all kinds of things. Please don't leave your shoes in the walk way so I don't have to step or trip over them.  Why won't you put anything back where you found it?  Can you please put your stuff away?  Why are your clothes on the floor?  Can you put your dirty clothes in the hamper not on it?  Is there a reason those dishes still sitting there?  You get the point.  I must admit I am not without fault.  My main indiscretions are misplacing the lotion bottle, leaving the pantry door open, not matching the knives into the right slots on the butcher block, squeezing the toothpaste from the middle and .....well that's about it.  Oh, and all that nagging reminding.  So sorry baby (I know he's reading this).   

In his pre wifey days his routine was to throw clothes on the floor, let messes and dishes pile up throughout the week, clean it all up Saturday then start it up all over again.  So, you mean to tell me that your house was a mess about 5 out of 7 days?  That's about 20 days out of a 28 day month.  Totally not acceptable to this lady.  You see, I have an illness.  I'm a neat freak, I have OCD, call it whatever you like but I believe there is a place for everything and everything in it's place.  I didn't have that luxury for a very long time.  I used to have no place for anything and nothing in it's place because I simply didn't have the space.  Now we do.  Why spend thousands of dollars on a closet and not put your stuff in it?  My home is my sanctuary and when my home is mired in the chaos of clutter I cannot be at peace. 

I could blame it on my childhood.  I grew up in a messy house and there was nothing I could do about it.  The minute you straightened anything up it was messy again.  My dad was a walking tornado who wouldn't lift a finger around the house and expected everyone else to clean up after him.  He wouldn't even put his plate in the sink.  I hated it, so excuse me if I'm a little sensitive about this subject.  I just don't want that for my home.  My mom may have been willing to double as a servant but even as a child I vowed I never would.  Thankfully, MJ is not even close to that.  In fact, I'm pretty lucky to have a modern man such as himself who cooks and makes an effort to consider my feelings.  If I make the effort to clean the house I just don't think it's too much to ask to pick up after yourself.  I know it can be a pain in the butt and sometimes life gets busy.  It doesn't even bother me if it's not done right away as long I know you will...someday...in the near future...soon...please.  Believe me, I wish I were not like this and I certainly don't wanna be the house police.  I WANT to happily toss my belongings willy nilly without regard to where they land, ignore crusty dishes stinking in the sink and care not about the ring of dirt accumulating in the toilet.  Sounds kinda nice actually.  We could enjoy a content often dirty clutter filled life together-no nagging involved.  But the laws of nature have ensured that a messy person always marries a neat freak so that is not to be. 

We've been living together for about two years now and he really has made some major improvements.  He no longer stores his jammies on the floor, shoes are getting put away and dishes aren't getting left for days.  It means a lot to know that he is listening and trying.  I've got to give him props for that...and for putting up with me.  Messiness makes me irritable and eventually I must speak up.  If I don't say anything how will he know it bothers me?  It's called communication.  He's sure to let me know if I do something that bugs him too; it just doesn't seem to happen as often.  I can't help it that I need order and that messes put me on edge.  And I suppose he can't help it either.  He literally doesn't see things that are sitting there all messy in plain sight and/or it simply doesn't bother him too much.  I do bite my tongue and I have loosened up some.  It's his house too and there are way more important things to worry about right?  I try to ask nicely and I make sure that I show my appreciation of his efforts to neaten up.  I mean, I don't want him to hate me...or divorce me for that matter.  This is just one of those things that we have to accept about each other and try to compromise on so that we can both be happy together and in our home.  Give and take.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  This part of him tries my patience but does not diminish the many things I love about him in any way.  

Fruit, Meat, Vegetables, Cheese.  Not too complicated.   

We spend all this money on a beautiful refrigerator with a lovely LED light and plenty of space and roomy drawers to organize our food.  Mj never puts anything back in those drawers where he got them from.  I've explained to him where everything goes many times but just as recently as last week he says "Well, I didn't know that the meat goes in that drawer."  So, I labeled them right quick before I left for work in the morning and left it for him to find when he got home.  Now, I'll pose this question to you.  Am I a B-I-T-C-H or just a wife who wants the meat to go in the meat drawer?  Lucky for me my husband has a sense of humor.  He had a good laugh, took this picture and posted it on Facebook.

Housekeeping



Tools of the trade

I do the cleaning in our house because unfortunately, it won't clean itself.  I figure since there are already a million other things that I have to nag remind Mj about that neither one of us needs the aggravation of me asking him for the 3rd time when he's going to clean the toilet or vacuum.  I do it myself and it gets done.  He is responsible for trash day, picking up after himself, and keeping his desk and one of the extra rooms he uses tidy.  That seems to be plenty for him to keep up with.  He cooks way more then I ever will do and either one of us starts the laundry when the hamper lid won't close or he runs out of undershirts; whichever comes first.  The kitchen counters, dishes, stove etc are done throughout the week on an as needed basis by both of us, or just me if I get too annoyed with his habit of letting them pile up and sit.  Can you guess which one of us is the "neat one"? 

When I lived in my studio it took me about an hour tops to clean the entire place from top to bottom.  It was easy and didn't take up too much of my time so I didn't mind it all that much.  Since moving into our house it takes so long that I find myself dreading it more and more.  It's like the gym.  Once I get started I'm usually ok, it can be soothing and satisfying and I like the finished results but finding the motivation to get going is tough sometimes.  Cleaning is usually a Saturday morning affair so I can get it out of the way and have the rest of my weekend to relax and have fun.  If I didn't get to the laundry that's no big deal to leave for Sunday, as long as the cleaning is done.  I like everything to be clean at the same time AND I'd rather not be cleaning something every day so I do it all at once every other weekend.  Unless I'm feeling really lazy and/or busy in which case I might put it off one extra week.  Because it takes me so long I decided to track exactly what I was doing and how long I was doing it to figure out if I could trim down the time.  We have 3 bedrooms,  2.5 bathrooms and two living spaces.  These are examples of three different torture cleaning "sessions" and how long it took me.  

54 minutes:  Dusting blinds and all surfaces 
25 minutes:  Vacuum carpets/Floors
50 minutes:  Clean Bathrooms
35 minutes:  Swiffer all floors
2 hours 44 Minutes

1 hr 10 min: Dusting all surfaces, blinds and window sills
45 min: Vacuum carpets and floors
46 min: Clean Bathrooms
6 min: Trash
2 hrs 46 min

43 min:  Dust all surfaces
33 min:  Vacuum carpets and floors
45 min:  Clean bathrooms
5 min:  Trash
2 hr 6 min

The 1/2 bath and the extra full bathroom don't get much use so those are pretty quick.  I did find that I was wiping down mirrors that didn't need to be wiped and vacuuming and mopping carpets and floors that hardly get used so I have cut back on that.  I dust behind the DVD/Satellite box/Playstation/Xbox hub and other surfaces that aren't quite dusty but it seems to pop up overnight so I think it's just better to stay on top of it.  We don't wear shoes inside so I don't think it necessary to mop every single time.  I also don't do the blinds, window sills and baseboards every time either. 

I woke up to my neighbor blasting Barry Manilow on Saturday morning.  Should I be embarrassed to admit that I really liked a lot of the songs?  Somehow music makes doing anything more tolerable so I got out of bed, blasted some i tunes of my own and started in with the dusting.  2 hours and 6 minutes later I'm finished and I'd hate to see how much longer it would take me if we had a bigger house.  I take pride in keeping a clean and neat house and like it that if someone drops by unexpectedly I won't be embarrassed by the condition of my home.  I really enjoy the finished results of all of my hard work....that is until the Mj storm rolls through and leaves his trail of destruction.  It's actually kind of a work out too.  Either that or I'm totally out of shape because my body usually feels fatigued by the time I'm done.  The good news is that I have the entire three day weekend ahead to have fun without having to even think about cleaning.  The bad news is that next weekend or the weekend after depending on how lazy busy I am I get to do it all over again.  I noticed that our neighbor behind us (the one who likes Barry Manilow) has a maid and sometimes I really wish we did too.  Maybe someday that would be possible, especially if we ever got a bigger house, but for now I'm it.

How do you divide household chores in your house?  How long does it take you to clean or are you lucky enough to have a cleaning service?  What is your typical cleaning schedule?

16 Things I Love About Our New House

We have been in our new house for about 4 months now.  We painted the main living areas, we have kitchen tiers on the way and have hung our first bit of wall art.  We plowed through our savings buying furniture, appliances and window coverings. There are still lots of plain bare walls that need to be decorated and too many white walls that could use some color but we have what we need and I'm really just glad to be here.  It takes money to decorate a home and therefore it will also take some time.   What a journey it has been from house hunting, home building to house closing.  We stuck it out in my tiny studio condo for 6 months but it was well worth the wait.

1.  Overall Space.  I can be at home and not see Mj all the time. What a concept!  People need space and we absolutely did not have it in the tiny studio. We were on top of each other and it magnified clutter and anything else that bugged me times 10. He can be upstairs in the loft doing homework and watching baseball and I can be downstairs watching House Hunters. We can be apart and then come together.  Mj's untidiness is spread out so I can tolerate it for a little bit longer then usual.  Peace.

2.  Decorating fun. I now have all of these rooms to decorate which is great once I figure out what the heck to do with them. I may not know exactly where to start but I love the possibilities.

3.  King size bed.  We squeezed into a little double in the studio.  I wanted to save money and hold onto the old Queen bed of Mj's that came out of storage but he really wanted to up size so I agreed.  Most of the time we end up on one side or the other but it's nice to have the space.  I can lay spread eagle on the bed with room to spare and I actually have to roll over a few times to shut of my alarm if I'm on Mj's side!

Plenty of room and I love that we each have our own night stand.

4.  Double Vanities.  Again, space.  I have my own side to do what I need to do in the bathroom and he has his.  We each have our own cabinet under our sinks.  Mine is full and his is not.

I like having my own side

5.  Toilet Room.  Our bathroom has a separate little room and door for toilet.  It even has a window-don't ask me why!  Not that we've never seen each other on the toilet but we love the extra privacy.

6.  Thermostat.   Sometimes it gets a little chilly for me because I am chronically cold but that's what blankets and sweaters are for.  I no longer have to sweat through summers with only an AC Wall Unit or hope for a cool breeze to come through the windows on hot nights while trying to sleep.   When we come home from work it does not feel like walking into a sauna.

7.  LG fridge with ice maker. This sucker was not cheap but I have to say it's worth it. I still can't figure out how this unlimited supply of water magically comes out of my fridge but access to ice cold water anytime without having buy bottled water and keep up on our water supply is great. I think I'm even drinking more water because of it.  And I kinda think ice is cool.

This fridge is the BEST

8.  Sectional with Ottoman.  We searched high and low for this cozy yet modern couch.  When you push the little square ottoman into the corner of the sectional it creates this lovely little bed like area which is perfect for cuddling while watching movies.  I can't get enough of cuddling with Mj so this works out quite nicely for me and I think he's OK with it too.

Modern, comfy and cuddle friendly

9.  DVR baby! I know I'm a little behind on the technology here but this is the first time in my life I have ever had this and I love it. I don't have to rush home to watch anything and I can watch various TV shows at my convenience-and fast forward the commercials. Online viewing of shows helped before but this really takes it up a notch. Not that I watch a ton of TV but it's just super convenient to have.  It's also the first time I've had a flat screen TV which of course was an Mj contribution.

The TV console has lots of storage to "hide" crap.  So does the coffee table.

10.  Dining room space, Bar Area & Kitchen.  We actually have a place where there is room for us to sit down and eat dinner together the good old fashioned way.  It's not right in front of the TV but we can  still see it because we have an open floor plan.  When one of us is in the kitchen cooking (ideally Mj) the other one can sit at the bar and chat.  The condo kitchen had next to no counter space and was really not functional.  I was totally uninspired to cook there so I didn't.  I vowed I would start cooking when I actually had space to do it and I did.

A table to enjoy meals together

Functional cooking space

11.  Garage.  No more searching for a parking space and having to pass up most of them because I suck at parallel parking.  I no longer have to worry that my car will be vandalised yet again.  No more carting loads of grocery bags from the car down the street, through the gate, and up the stairs into the condo.  We don't have to get into a hot car and we don't have to haul our trash out to a stinky dumpster because our trash bins are right there.  It also provides more storage for crap that we should probably throw away but won't.

12.  Extra closets & rooms.  Yes.  Back to space-which is quite a  beautiful thing.  The clutter in the condo was driving me mad.  The master closet could use a Closet World make over to make better use of the space but it is a walk in and way bigger then I have ever had before.  There is now a whole extra room for Mj to leave his folded laundry for weeks at a time and toss his clothes on the floor instead of hanging them up.   I don't have to see it so I don't nag him about it.  Well,  not as often anyways.  Win win situation.

13.  Laundry Room.  I used to do laundry once a month.  Or even longer if I could get away with it.  I know it's terrible but I was so over hoarding quarters, staking out the washer/dryer, and carting loads of heavy laundry up and down stairs to the laundry room.  Laundry is fun easier now.

The bobble head bride and groom was a wedding gift.  Really.

14.  Backyard.  It still happens to be a pile of dirt pending landscaping.  This project has been totally left to Mj and he assures me that progress is being made.  We'll actually have a place to sit outdoors and relax.  It's small but we did not want any grass cutting so that's fine.  There is room out the front door too where I can actually stand there in my pajamas and check the weather and not be seen by every single neighbor.  The condo didn't even have a balcony.

15.  Recess Lighting.  This was what I felt was an Mj upgrade splurge but like most everything else I'm glad I agreed.  It came included in some areas but we addeded it every where it didn't except the 2 spare bedrooms.  I like the modern look it gives the house and we don't need lamps.  Some of our lights even turn themselves off after a certain time period if we forget.  The light switches are all on dimmers which can save energy and is really good for setting the mood...if ya know what I mean!

16.  Community.  I still don't know any of my neighbors but our little neighborhood is like an oasis in the middle of the little city we live in.  There are only about 42 houses spanning 3 private roads.  I don't walk out my door onto a busy street.  I feel comfortable taking a walk if I want to.  There aren't random hoodlums roaming around or broke down sofas in any front yards. I feel so much safer.  We have an HOA in full effect that I might come to hate at some point but it does wonders for curb appeal.  We are only about 5 minutes from the condo but it makes all the difference in the world.

Are there some things on my wish list that we didn't get?  Yeah.  We couldn't do all the upgrades we wanted like granite or hardwoods.  We could use a little bit more counter space and cupboards in the kitchen.  I wish we had a linen closet but there is room to build one.  I also wish we could have afforded to buy more centrally located.  And while I'm at it, I would really love it if I could get my mortgage sliced in half!  But really, I'm not complaining one bit.  It's brand new, it's OURS, and I love it!  According to Sandra Rinomato on HGTV's Property Virgins, whom I trust completely, if you like 90% of the house you should really consider making it your home because no house is perfect in all ways and there will always be something that you wish you could change.

Building the Home

Home Sweet Home

Home Renovations

Clutter Crazy

I am not allowed to do dishes anymore. Mj found hamburger meat in one of the pans and bleu cheese on one of the plates after I "washed" them. The problem is not that I am a miserable dishwasher. I can clean with the best of them. I am not the greatest cook but I always try to make sure I am the one who does the dishes and cleans the kitchen to compensate. The problem is that I can't see. By the time I get home from work it's dark. By the time we finish eating dinner it's even darker and the kitchen light has been broken since well before Mj came back. I am in there scrubbing pots and pans and plates that I can't even actually tell if I've gotten clean because of the poor lighting. Mj just has to re wash everything and so I have been banned. I will definitely get in there on the weekends but apparently during the week it's just not such a good idea until that light is fixed.

That is just one more challenge of my current living space. The other issue is clutter. Everywhere. I can't find my socks or anything else. I can barely shove my clothes into drawers. Every surface has stuff on it. It is driving me MAD!! I don't know how those obsessive hoarders can stand being buried in all that stuff. Of course it is an illness and I am beginning to think I have one too but in reverse. Realistically, I know I do not have OCD but I definitely do have an issue with clutter. I need to be organized. I need the counter tops to be empty. I need for everything to be in it's place at least most of the time. Right now it is impossible to have hardly anything in it's place because there is barely a place for anything and it is quite simply driving me nuts.

Organization is more then just having everything in it's place for me. When my living space is out of whack I feel like my life is too. Same thing with my finances and my food but that's a whole other blog post. I guess it's some kind of control thing and it comes in handy at times to be so disciplined in these areas but right now it's just driving me crazy. Right now I would really like to be able to see my pajamas laying across the bed haphazardly [instead of forcibly cramming them into the too small drawer] and not care one way or another. I'd rather see a messy pile of paperwork on the table and not care if it stays there or not. I want to put things away and organize but there is no space to do it. So there things sits and there isn't anything I can do about it. I have already done everything I can to maximize my space. I can't believe I'm saying this but I have kind of given up. Not totally of course , but I am just accepting there isn't much I can do. Which is probably a good thing.

I can hardly believe I have lived in such a small space for so many years. Most people I know can't even imagine such a thing. When I tell them I live in a studio their eyes kind of bug out a little. It is definitely not ideal but I did what I had to do.

The close proximity to Mj doesn't bother me at all. I actually enjoy having him right there all the time. The idea of him being far far away in another room or downstairs when I am upstairs in bed actually feels kind of lonely. Right now we can pretty much see each other and talk to each other all the time from any location. Where he is I am and vise versa. That's kind of what happens in a studio and I kinda like that part.

But, if it means that I will have enough room in my closet and less crap shoved into every nook and cranny I am really thinking that I could probably get used to it. I know he's coming to bed eventually even if he is in a far away land down the hall.

Living In A Studio With My Fiance

So, Mj has been back for two weeks and it has been absolutely wonderful. It is so nice having someone to come home to every night. Someone to hang out with and laugh with at home instead of just being alone all the time. He is my cuddle bear and it's so nice to have him by my side and in my bed at night! He's taking a break and doesn't go back to work until next month making it that much harder for me to get out of bed in the morning. Who wants to go to work when there is a cuddly snuggle bear in your bed?
He fixed the garbage disposal. I thought I'd have to replace my door lock because it gets so tight every year when it gets cold so that sometimes I am afraid that I won't be able to even get in my house. Mj figured out that all it needed was just a little WD-40. It's nice having a man around! They just know things. Things that I as a kinda girly girly never would.

The man can cook and I must say that I find it very sexy. He can throw together all kinds of things without using a cook book. He [we sort of] have made some delicious meals. I am basically his assistant seeing as how I am and always have been pretty clueless when it comes to that but he makes me want to do better. I want to be able to cook a nice dinner for my husband and maybe I'll start out with cook books.  I won't be as good as him but I will do it. We went grocery shopping this week. My cupboards have never been so stocked in the almost five years that I have lived here.





There are now two people, two people's stuff, and only about 397 square feet between us in my little studio. We have a new flat screen TV now, I have a new white desk, and the futon is on the other side of the room and the bed is where the futon is, and there is an extra closet now but you get the idea. Before he got here I'd look around and wonder, how in the world are we going to be able to make this work? I outgrew this place with just me and my stuff years ago. There is basically no storage and I've had to bring in two additional portable closets and utilize a lot of under bed storage bins to make space for my clothes. I did what I could to create additional space for him with the extra closet, clearing drawers, throwing stuff away and just hoped for the best. His entire apartment was put in storage before he went to Kosovo and he has with him the stuff he brought there and any additional things he's accumulated while there so it's been OK so far. There are about 5 storage bins of various other items that my parents are letting us store in their garage and this will just have to do for now.



I can be a bit of a neat freak about certain things but I am finding that I am doing OK with the set up. Mj has just a couple little messy habits as many of us do but they are very minor and he is just such a spectacular guy that it doesn't even bother me that much. I can get a bit particular when it comes to wanting clear table tops. Mj has a tendency to come in and empty his pockets and put stuff down haphazardly so I have used baskets for him to put miscellaneous items in that I just don't like to see scattered about. The reality is, that there really just isn't much space to put things but I think that we are going to be OK.

The anxiety and depression that I could feel creeping into my soul is gone. This may sound corny and yes it is straight from the movie Jerry Maguire, but he completes me. He really does. He is my rock. I am a better and happier person because he is around. Somehow nothing seems as frightening or impossible when he is by my side.
If we can manage to live in less then 400 square feet of space for however long it takes us to end up in a new home then that's just one more thing in addition to the whole eleven months apart that we have managed to get through together. These things will only make us stronger and I can think of no one else that I would want to go through any of this with other then Mj.