When I was a little girl back in the days when I used to live at home and share a room with my big sis I used to cry in the morning when I overslept and woke up late. Even then, as a youngster there was that whole sense of some sort of loss of control and fear having to do with something so unplanned. Yes, I am a control freak and even if I wasn't able to identify with that back as a youngster I am sure that's where the tears came from.
So, I don't cry anymore when I oversleep but it still sucks. Good thing it doesn't happen all that often. Yeah, because of the whole control freak thing I often double and triple check that my alarm is set just to avoid this so I don't know what happened. I woke up at 6:30am and needed to be at work at 7:00am. It's about a 20 minute drive so basically I managed to get out of the house in 14 minutes [I was 4 minutes late].
Last weekend was a three day weekend but exhausting nonetheless. The day I found my dress I was out house hunting all day and then dress hunting by night. When I was trying on dresses I felt like I was on Say Yes To The Dress and during the day I felt like I was on House Hunters. Without the video camera's of course. Mj and I LOVE that show and watch it non stop. Saturday was our very first day of going out and looking. Sunday we went to Mj's friend's house to watch football and then there was more house hunting on Monday. I couldn't go out today because I have to work but Mj looked at a great condo that is a short sale. It looks like we are actually going to put in an offer on it just as soon as he can shuttle the paperwork back and forth between me and our realtor. I'm not too worried that I haven't even seen it. He is way pickier then I am so I trust his judgement. With so much competition you have to move quick.
House hunting is tough right now. There is inventory out there but in our target area there are lots of foreclosures and short sales. You might have 10+ offers for every property and often times you get priced out because some are paying over asking price. I am READY to move. It's been close to five years in a 400 square foot studio and I think it's time. I am yearning for room to put things and space to exist because right now we really have none. Things are so cluttered sometimes I can't even stand it. Clutter aggravates me to no end and in a space that small with two people it's inevitable. Everywhere I turn there is clutter and stuff crammed into every nook and cranny. The lower bar on my closet where my clothes hang perpetually wrinkled fell down because it's so overloaded.
I am working on our budget and even after having all of this time to digest this the thought of taking on another mortgage and simultaneously taking on a rental property is extremely frightening. There is so little margin for error financially. All it takes is one month without a renter to smash my carefully thought out little budget to pieces.
I just have to take a deep breath and hope for the best on this one and hopefully that is what we will get.
The Dress
1.18.2010
My fitting room. One of these is MY dress!
When I walked into David's Bridal Saturday it was a madhouse. There were women everywhere trying on all kinds of dresses. Babe, my bridal consultant could barely find me a room. When I looked at these bridal dresses in the plastic garment bag they all looked ugly. It is so hard to tell what the darn dress is going to look like. There is just so much fabric there and it's just so massive that you really can't tell what's what until you see it on a body.
I scanned the aisle with my size on it and there were only about 2 that looked decent to me. Babe started pulling dresses from my list of favorites that I brought in and dress hunting was in full swing. My mom and three friends were there to help me make this important decision and I must say I really did feel special being the center of attention as I put on these gorgeous dresses. I felt like I was on "Say Yes to The Dress" except there were no cameras and I was not trying on thousand dollar dresses. All I knew going into this is that I wanted to try strapless and that I did like the pick up style on the bottom. This is not my first marriage so I was considering Ivory but there is just something about a pristine white dress that I couldn't resist.
The first dress I put on was perfect. It made me feel like a princess and it hung beautifully on me. I think it was one of the two I just randomly grabbed at the beginning. It wasn't on my favorites list and I'm not exactly sure where it came from but there it was and I liked it. The second dress was a corset style that showed off my shape a little and I kept it on my list as a possibility. Every other dress thereafter was measured against those two.
Dress after dress I tried on. Still sticking with my 2 favorites but just wanting to make sure there was nothing I liked better. The #2 fav dress with it's lace up style may have eliminated my need (and the cost) of alterations but they only had it in a size 6. I tried on a similar one in a 2 and it fit perfectly but I went in there to buy a dress that day and didn't want to order one from another state without knowing if it would for sure work or not.
I kept going back to that first dress in my mind anyways. I love the silver beading on the bodice and the pick up style ruching down the skirt. It probably didn't make it onto my favorites because it was priced at $499. Ideally, I was trying to keep my dress around $300-$450. But, I did get $50 off due to the sale and I feel pretty good about staying under $500. In fact, there was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to go above that anyhow!! I think I must be between a size 2 and 4 which sucks. It's a strapless and I want it to feel secure around my body. It will have to be taken in a bit at the waist and shortened at an additional cost but bottom line is it's my dress.
It's an exhausting process. Those dresses are big and heavy. They can practically stand up on their own and you can't really get into and out of them by yourself. It took about 2 1/2 hours to make a decision on the bridal dress and I found a bridesmaid dress in about 30 minutes.
Some of those bridesmaid dresses are downright ugly and look a heck of a lot better in the catalog then they do in person. I wanted something cute and re wearable for my bridesmaids and I was afraid I wasn't going to find it in Pink but I did!! It is a beautiful soft pastel pink (although it doesn't quite look like it online) and will be perfect for a Summer wedding. It is sateen and has a matte finish and not some gaudy satin shiny thing. It even has pockets! They will wear a black pin on flower at the waist to complete the look and incorporate my 2nd color. This is a chic not overly formal look that I was going for. They will get $20 off their dresses because I bought my bridal dress there and my out of state bridesmaid will have no problem getting it.
My Bridesmaid dresses
I put my dress on layaway so I could spread out the payments. It will stay at the store for 60 days when I will make my final payment. I can either take it home that day and come back later or send it straight into alterations.
I kinda felt like part of the David's Bridal wedding machine while I was in there but I think going there was the right choice for me. They have great dresses for reasonable prices. That penny pincher inside of me says I should have just stuck to the $99 dresses and called it a day. I am very frugal and don't have extravagent taste, but I simply would not have been satisfied with a simple plain dress-not that one like that could not have been pretty. This is a BIG party afterall, so give me just one day to do it up big for a change. I wanted the dress to be unlike anything I would ever wear again. I wanted an amazing dress not just an OK dress. Don't I deserve that for once? I am thinking that maybe I do.
I just bought the most expensive and elaborate dress I will ever own in my lifetime. Never mind that I will only wear it for about 10 hours. Mission accomplished.
I just bought the most expensive and elaborate dress I will ever own in my lifetime. Never mind that I will only wear it for about 10 hours. Mission accomplished.
Photographer: Check
1.15.2010
It's no wonder that you don't usually see too much of the wedding reception dancing shenanigans in wedding pictures. Unless you hire a photographer for 8 hours there is only so many events you can fit in and it seems the standard time frame that is offered is 6 hours and it's usually a couple hundred extra per hour over that. Couple shots, bridal party shots, family shots. I want detail shots and candid shots too. I want them to be good and I don't want to rush through dinner and cake cutting just so we can get to the bouquet toss before the photographer has to leave.
I got the sign that I was looking for to help me make my photographer decision. Patrick called and left a very nice follow up message and also offered to add an extra hour onto his services. His portfolio originally caught my eye first and then I kept going back and forth second guessing myself. He captured some really great moments in his pictures. He has a photojournalism style that I was looking for. Very artistic and candid. I will get the basic posed group shots but everything else should be candid. That extra hour will help us to fit more shots in with hopefully less rushing. This is a special day and I don't want to motor through it.
For $1495 the package includes 2 photographers which will be great for maximizing time. We get four 8 x10's, ten 5x7's and a DVD of all images with reproduction rights. I don't even want to buy an album because I think it will be way fun to do my own with Walmart or Snapfish. I created one already as a gift to Mj that documented our first nine months together before he fled the country. I had a great time doing it although it took me forever because I wanted to get everything just right.
I don't really think "engagement" photos are necessary. I have tons of pictures with Mj. None professional, but we are about to have a bunch of professional pics so maybe it's something we can save for a year when we are not already spending thousands of dollars on a wedding. Do we really have to have that poster size shot engagement shot of us sitting on an easel at our reception? I think it might be just as nice to have some candid shot of us during the time we were dating and falling in love with each other. I have such fond memories of that time so why not?
I am thinking of doing our couple shots before the ceremony starts. It means that he will see me before I walk down the aisle. I am not sure that I like that idea but I think we might get better shots if we have the chance to do those without all eyes on us . We will feel more comfortable and relaxed. This way we can go straight into bridal party and family shots right after the ceremony and hopefully make at least some of our cocktail hour. That's when the drinks are free and unlimited [well, we are paying for it but you know what I mean] and I would like to mingle and enjoy it.
Huge sigh of relief that this decision is made. I was about ready to lose my mind. I am still on track budget wise too! Now that the DJ and photographer are booked I can relax a little bit.
All that is left cake and It won't be too hard for me to decide on that. I want to order and get the invitations out and THEN deal with that. I am hoping that a co worker can do the bridal party flowers. We probably will not be using flowers elsewhere as they are just too expensive. If I can come up with something creative for centerpieces that involve flowers I will but I will likely be buying them wholesale and just kinda doing it myself. We shall see. I have decided not to hire an officiant. Instead I will enlist the services of one of our friends for that. I think it will be more special that way and of course save us about $200-300 dollars.
Dress shopping tomorrow! One of my bridesmaids will be there and my mom is coming down to help me decide.
I got the sign that I was looking for to help me make my photographer decision. Patrick called and left a very nice follow up message and also offered to add an extra hour onto his services. His portfolio originally caught my eye first and then I kept going back and forth second guessing myself. He captured some really great moments in his pictures. He has a photojournalism style that I was looking for. Very artistic and candid. I will get the basic posed group shots but everything else should be candid. That extra hour will help us to fit more shots in with hopefully less rushing. This is a special day and I don't want to motor through it.
For $1495 the package includes 2 photographers which will be great for maximizing time. We get four 8 x10's, ten 5x7's and a DVD of all images with reproduction rights. I don't even want to buy an album because I think it will be way fun to do my own with Walmart or Snapfish. I created one already as a gift to Mj that documented our first nine months together before he fled the country. I had a great time doing it although it took me forever because I wanted to get everything just right.
I don't really think "engagement" photos are necessary. I have tons of pictures with Mj. None professional, but we are about to have a bunch of professional pics so maybe it's something we can save for a year when we are not already spending thousands of dollars on a wedding. Do we really have to have that poster size shot engagement shot of us sitting on an easel at our reception? I think it might be just as nice to have some candid shot of us during the time we were dating and falling in love with each other. I have such fond memories of that time so why not?
I am thinking of doing our couple shots before the ceremony starts. It means that he will see me before I walk down the aisle. I am not sure that I like that idea but I think we might get better shots if we have the chance to do those without all eyes on us . We will feel more comfortable and relaxed. This way we can go straight into bridal party and family shots right after the ceremony and hopefully make at least some of our cocktail hour. That's when the drinks are free and unlimited [well, we are paying for it but you know what I mean] and I would like to mingle and enjoy it.
Huge sigh of relief that this decision is made. I was about ready to lose my mind. I am still on track budget wise too! Now that the DJ and photographer are booked I can relax a little bit.
All that is left cake and It won't be too hard for me to decide on that. I want to order and get the invitations out and THEN deal with that. I am hoping that a co worker can do the bridal party flowers. We probably will not be using flowers elsewhere as they are just too expensive. If I can come up with something creative for centerpieces that involve flowers I will but I will likely be buying them wholesale and just kinda doing it myself. We shall see. I have decided not to hire an officiant. Instead I will enlist the services of one of our friends for that. I think it will be more special that way and of course save us about $200-300 dollars.
Dress shopping tomorrow! One of my bridesmaids will be there and my mom is coming down to help me decide.
Choosing A Photographer Is Rough
1.14.2010
The only thing worse so far then agonizing over location is agonizing over a photographer. I am literally paralyzed with indecision over who to go with. Originally, I was going to use Studio Blue. It seems to be a fairly new company but is the little less expensive sister of Bella Pictures. Bella's packages start around $1800 for bare bones. When Studio Blue is having a sale you can get a 6 hour package with 1 photographer(no prints) for about 1k. They basically work as a photography agent and assign you a photographer about 60 days prior to your wedding. You do get an opportunity to review the portfolio and the pictures on this website look good but the more I thought about it the less sure I was of going that route. I guess I just didn't like the idea of not really getting to pick. It could be hit and miss. I was just about ready to book them when I decided not to. I can't find any information on them and can't seem to find any reviews on the net from anyone who has used them. I'm all about saving a buck but this is one area that I really dont' want to take any chances with.
When I started looking elsewhere I found that for about $500 more I could get 2 photographers and some prints included.
Aside from venue the pictures are the most important thing for me in this wedding planning process. When all is said and done aside from your memories and your actual marriage that is what will linger the longest. My photography budget is $1,500. I found two local ones in that range with great portfolio's and similar package pricing but am having a super hard time making a decision. I have e mailed a couple of friends asking their opinion and it is literally split 50/50.
Hubby got tired of hearing me wine about it last night and he looked at both portfolios one more time and has stuck with his original opinion. He is leaving this decision in my trusty hands and says it's up to me. I guess the problem I am having is that he liked Fritz and I liked Patrick. Part of me wants to just go with my gut and pick the one that appealed to me most but the other part of me wants to pick the one he liked because I really do like them both and actually he does too! I don't want to make the wrong choice!! These photos are going to be precious to us both and I want to get it right.
I have looked at their portfolios over and over and over. Not helping. I spoke to both photographers and have got an idea of how they work but I am still stuck. Help! What do I do?
When I started looking elsewhere I found that for about $500 more I could get 2 photographers and some prints included.
Aside from venue the pictures are the most important thing for me in this wedding planning process. When all is said and done aside from your memories and your actual marriage that is what will linger the longest. My photography budget is $1,500. I found two local ones in that range with great portfolio's and similar package pricing but am having a super hard time making a decision. I have e mailed a couple of friends asking their opinion and it is literally split 50/50.
Hubby got tired of hearing me wine about it last night and he looked at both portfolios one more time and has stuck with his original opinion. He is leaving this decision in my trusty hands and says it's up to me. I guess the problem I am having is that he liked Fritz and I liked Patrick. Part of me wants to just go with my gut and pick the one that appealed to me most but the other part of me wants to pick the one he liked because I really do like them both and actually he does too! I don't want to make the wrong choice!! These photos are going to be precious to us both and I want to get it right.
I have looked at their portfolios over and over and over. Not helping. I spoke to both photographers and have got an idea of how they work but I am still stuck. Help! What do I do?
Getting Pre Approved
You'd better not have any secrets from your significant other when you go into a meeting to discuss a home loan. If there was anything about your credit, income, debts, bank accounts or finances that you were keeping on the down low it will be exposed with a quickness to your significant other and some random stranger who will punch your digits into a computer and decide your fate.
In our case, there are no secrets but it is kind of odd to be sitting there so exposed. Things that you may not normally talk about even with people you are very close to is fodder for discussion. Nothing is off limits. Income, job title, bank account balances, who you owe, and what you owe. You can't run and you can't hide.
You may have an idea about what kind of house you want but as you divulge all of your financial matters you are about to find out what kind of house you can get.
Gone are the days where you could walk in there unemployed and be approved for $500,000. The banks actually seem to care about whether or not you can actually make your mortgage payment or not now. We went in there hoping for a certain amount and it turns out we may not quite get that but we are hopefully still going to be in a good position to find something decent within our budget. That is actually OK by me. I am fine with being "forced" into a house that we can afford rather then being ushered into something that may overextend us. From the get go that has always been my primary concern. I want a nice house but I am not willing to push the limits of our monthly income to get it. If that means we get a little bit less house then so be it. We will make it our own, be together, and be much better off in the long run by playing it safe.
We actually got pre approved already by our bank for exactly what we wanted but this home lending service works with the real estate agent we are hoping can get us into a foreclosure and he requires that we at least get pre approved with his preferred lender.
We have great credit and few debts. I wish I earned more money. Don't we all? There is no point in playing the blame game but I know that would help A LOT. I regret that I already own a property which will count against me with a lender.
What I regret even more then that is an old student loan debt that I co signed on for my Ex Husband. It's this black cloud over my head that won't go away. I hate it that even in divorce he is still dragging me down. I take pride in my credit and I hate that what happens to it is not 100% in my control. I paid my student loan debts off but I still have his lurking in the shadows of my credit report. If I had been smart I would have insisted on him figuring out a way to refinance and get my name off before finalizing the divorce. Lesson learned the hard way on that one. Don't EVER co-sign for anyone on anything. Just don't.
We won't have any problem getting a home loan. It's just a matter of how much.
In our case, there are no secrets but it is kind of odd to be sitting there so exposed. Things that you may not normally talk about even with people you are very close to is fodder for discussion. Nothing is off limits. Income, job title, bank account balances, who you owe, and what you owe. You can't run and you can't hide.
You may have an idea about what kind of house you want but as you divulge all of your financial matters you are about to find out what kind of house you can get.
Gone are the days where you could walk in there unemployed and be approved for $500,000. The banks actually seem to care about whether or not you can actually make your mortgage payment or not now. We went in there hoping for a certain amount and it turns out we may not quite get that but we are hopefully still going to be in a good position to find something decent within our budget. That is actually OK by me. I am fine with being "forced" into a house that we can afford rather then being ushered into something that may overextend us. From the get go that has always been my primary concern. I want a nice house but I am not willing to push the limits of our monthly income to get it. If that means we get a little bit less house then so be it. We will make it our own, be together, and be much better off in the long run by playing it safe.
We actually got pre approved already by our bank for exactly what we wanted but this home lending service works with the real estate agent we are hoping can get us into a foreclosure and he requires that we at least get pre approved with his preferred lender.
We have great credit and few debts. I wish I earned more money. Don't we all? There is no point in playing the blame game but I know that would help A LOT. I regret that I already own a property which will count against me with a lender.
What I regret even more then that is an old student loan debt that I co signed on for my Ex Husband. It's this black cloud over my head that won't go away. I hate it that even in divorce he is still dragging me down. I take pride in my credit and I hate that what happens to it is not 100% in my control. I paid my student loan debts off but I still have his lurking in the shadows of my credit report. If I had been smart I would have insisted on him figuring out a way to refinance and get my name off before finalizing the divorce. Lesson learned the hard way on that one. Don't EVER co-sign for anyone on anything. Just don't.
We won't have any problem getting a home loan. It's just a matter of how much.
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