She Hates Your Wedding Website

Article: Slate, I Hate Your Wedding Website

The author of this article pokes fun at wedding websites and refers to them as yet another way for people to "...celebrate their daily existence....Instead of being tasteful, utilitarian affairs, these sites inevitably turn into showcases for unbridled narcissism—and open the couple up to a great deal of mockery from friends and strangers alike." Her and her girlfriend spent hours laughing at different websites and forwarding the links to other friends to laugh about too. "Pretty soon everyone had seen "Jane" and "Tim's" site, on which they treated their impending nuptials with all the pomp that preceded Princess Diana's wedding."

"The vibe is perhaps meant to be "classy," but it's very hard to achieve an understated aesthetic when the message you most want to telegraph is LOOK AT ME."

"There are a grand total of 651 pictures featured—from baby photos to Solo-cup-filled college dorm-room shots to shots of their four—count 'em—engagement parties."

Personally, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with having a wedding website and I'm not just saying that because I have one right now. No, I do not think my wedding is the most important thing in the world but it is important to me and so I'm going to share it. The Internet along with face book, twitter, and everything else is here to stay so why not make it fit your needs? Why not utilize it to share a special day in our lives and as a tool to share useful wedding information with guests? People hardly use stamps anymore because we pay bills, send letters, and almost everything else online. Now, guests can RSVP online directly from a web page-no stamp required. It's just a sign of the times. There is a website for everything now.

I do agree that these days the need to publicize every single little thing has become very widespread and a little annoying. You need only take one look at your face book news feed to see this. People are posting everything from "I got a new job," "running errands" to "going out for sushi" to "I lost my keys." And, they are doing it all day every day. I'm thinking about posting something like "picking my nose" just to see what people might say and to make a point. Some people really do feel the need to track their every little move on the Internet. It doesn't bother me too much, I just happen to not be one of them.

When you are in love you want to shout if from the roof tops but that might cause a scene and/or bodily injury. So, we make a website instead. I love ours. It was fun to make and there is nothing on there I would be embarassed about 20 years from now. I used mywedding.com. I did not post 500 pictures of the two of us walking into the sunset and staring lovingly into each others eyes, but so what if I did? There is nothing wrong with being happy, in love, and wanting to share that with friends and family. That's what we do at weddings and that's what we do on wedding websites.

Alterations, Invites, and Mom

Let's just say I totally underestimated the time it would take to address invitations. What seemed like a fairly simple project turned into a 4 1/2 hour job! The good news is that my partner was my mom and yes there was champagne, candy, dessert and chatting throughout making it fun.

My mom came down Saturday and I took her over to see our new still in progress house. It was so cool to be able to share that with her. She is so happy for us. Then, we went downtown for a nice lunch. On the way home we stopped over at David's Bridal so I could have my dress alterations done. They had to take it in on the sides in the area between my waist and my hips so it will fit better, shorten it, and add the bustle. Grand total....$224.00!! Ouch. I am shocked that I of all people will be wearing something that cost $700 bucks. For one day. The under $500 dress is technically no longer which I am kind of bummed about but it had to be done.

The fiance did his homeworK and delivered with a nicely organized excel spread sheet of addresses. Mom came armed with her address book and we got to work folding, stuffing, sticking, and writing. My RSVP's were messed up because I did not include a line next to Name(s) _________ and so Name(s) ended up smack dab centered with no room to the right to write. It looked really goofy and I was really upset with myself for making this mistake but I had an online chat with Invitations By Dawn and they were really great about re printing them at no charge and shipping them out within days. On the inner envelopes I stuck labels I made wIth our website info and wrote the guests names. We used all of those free address labels that we have accumulated over the years to put on the outer envelope instead of writing out our return address. I didn't use any special pens or monograms. My mom so kindly volunteered to do the mailing for me and will pick out nice wedding stamps to use.

Mj and I got into a bit of a debate about including a stamp on the RSVP envelopes for those that we know use the Internet regularly. Our label clearly says to check out our website where they can RSVP online and is prominently placed on the outer envelope so I chosing not to include stamps for my Internet savvy friends. I just didn't see the point and at .40 cents a pop I wanted to save my mom the expense. Mj felt that he could not determine who is Internet savvy nor could he guarantee that each and every guest would look at our website. I told him that I don't care if they choose not to....they will just have to pony up a stamp because we did give them the option to go online. He seemed uncomfortable with not including stamps so I told my mom to put them on all of his RSVP's.

We took a dessert break then finished up. Mom didn't leave until 11:30 pm. Our planned guest total is 75. No babies or kids and for the most part we did include plus ones if they were married or had a significant other. We sent out a total of 72 invitations that include 116 people!! Are we taking a huge risk? There are a lot of out of state/out of town folks. We know that our wedding is the most sought after event of the Summer season-but of course. Even so, we expect that a lot will not be able to attend. We just went ahead and invited who we wanted and hope that it will all shake out in the end at around 75-80. If not...we're in BIG trouble!!

Lot 55

trenching February 13th

staking February 21

foundation pour February 28

first floor framing March 7

second floor framing March 14

the soon to be Great Room

dining area window

It's starting to look like a neighborhood and I can't wait to move in!

House progress cont'd
Home Buying Journey Part I:  Getting Pre Approved

Looks Like We're Gettin' The House!!

Community Plan-ours is lot 55

the models

Plan 1

I thought this was so cute!!!

This whole time I've been sort of holding my breath about this whole house thing. Not really talking about it too much and trying to not get too excited. We've been to the design studio to pick out our cabinets, appliances, flooring and other options. We've spent plenty of time pouring over the models. We go by there every week to take pictures of the home building progress and we receive weekly e mails from the builder letting us know what's going on next. We've watched it go from a pile of dirt to an actual frame with steps in it and even ran into a couple of our future neighbors at the sales office. This is a huge and exciting thing yet the fun of it all has been subdued by fear and the house has not ever really felt like ours even after contract signing.

At the Home Design Studio

First it was the money. Then, when I decided I wanted the house so bad that even though it was above what we originally planned I didn't care. It was still doable and I wanted it. Then, once I got over that it was financing. We got denied our VA loan by the home builder's preferred lender so we immediately went to USAA. We submitted our paperwork two weeks ago and this everlasting limbo has just been going on and on. According to contract we could lose our lot without a lender approval so this was very stressful. You know they don't keep building houses for people who haven't yet figured out how they are going to pay for it. They kept putting our file off behind other ones with closer closing dates instead. Until today. We finally got our answer from USAA and the answer is YES!!

Stainless steel appliances-CHECK

Never mind that Mj sent me this evil e mail telling me that we got denied causing my heart to drop into my shoes only to call me a minute later and tell me he was just joking. How mean is that? Let's just say I am really not used to getting what I want. He is the optimist. He hopes for the best and usually gets it. I however hope for the best, but expect [and prepare for] the worst. Once I heard the news I was overjoyed. I was at my desk doing the happy dance with my shoulders. This means that this is really going to happen for us. We are really going to move out of this tiny studio. We are going to be moving into the new house we have been wanting and it WILL be before our wedding. In the not so distant future I will have space to hang my clothes, a garage to park my car and be able to do laundry without stockpiling quarters. Oh, and MJ can finally get all of his stuff out of storage-including the Wii. Maybe I will finally get some exercise!! My parents are also finally going to get some of their garage back when we can go over there and pick up our storage bins they have so kindly stored for us.

I want to enjoy this experience at least a little and not just be stressed out by it. I think now that we have made it through this final hurdle I will finally be able to. Next step: lock in our interest rate and decide on points. Then, closing here we come!!

Cont'd:  Loan Lock
Home Building Progress:  Lot 55

2 Amazing Years

Yesterday Mj and I had a wonderful day together. Nothing big. Sleeping in. Lounging around in pajamas for a bit. Catching a matinee [Shutter Island] and running a few errands. Cooking tostadas together and eating dinner and beer in front of the TV while watching a DVD. The sun was shining, the day was relaxed and I was happy. Just happy to be in that moment. Ordinary day or not it was perfect. I'd look at Mj and think to myself "Oh my god, how I love that man." This amazing feeling of love sometimes just overwhelms me. I look at him and I cannot believe that this amazing person is mine to have and to hold. He has gotten used to me just sort of staring at him for no apparent reason with this [hopefully] dreamy look on my face by now.

Like life a relationship is composed of moments. Snapshots in time. Not always perfect or ideal and often times pretty ordinary, but snapshots just the same that create the continuum of what we do and who we are. That moment that I met Mj was life changing for me. I certainly didn't know it at the time but I was meeting the man I always wanted and needed. He completes me. How corny is that? I mean, it is best known as a Jerry McGuire quote but corny or not it is so true. There aren't better words to describe it. I cannot imagine a world in which he does not exist. I don't want to.

Sometimes I get annoyed at him when he leaves his socks on the floor, his clothes hanging haphazardly over the couch or he looses something else. There has to be a laundry list of ways that I probably annoy him with my neat freak tendencies, pessimism, and being so darn picky when it comes to food just to name a few. He is not perfect. I am not perfect. We are not perfect. But that does not matter. We are perfect together and any imperfections he may have are drowned in the love that I feel for him. Sometimes I do not feel worthy, but he loves me despite all of my flaws. There is this level of comfort in the knowledge that simply being me is enough.

2 years ago today we had our first date on a rainy Saturday night. We got set up by my friend. They were both in Arizona for some Military schooling and at a get together and she had the bright idea after meeting him that we should meet up. And meet we did. Fall in love we did. And now I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I was working a promo job that night. I was downtown and when I saw a silver SUV pull up to the designated spot outside the convention center I walked right up to it and got in. I suppose he could've been a psycho or another guy who's calls I would have to dodge but instead he turned out to be my future husband. We ate dinner at Friday's. I was dating just for the hell of it but this one stood out for me because I genuinely laughed like I had not on any other date. It wasn't that ha, ha polite kind of laugh but one from the heart. This one was different.

One date led to another. I could only describe it as a whirlwind of fun, romantic dream dates and getting to know each other better. I would tell myself one day that this guy better not expect me to spend every weekend with him and then the next thing I knew that was all I wanted. I was reluctant to take this journey because of my issues, my fears and because of my past. My sometimes very depressed and often isolated lifestyle was not healthy and often unhappy but to change anything about it would mean to lose control and that terrified me. When it was just me I could and did neglect my own emotional well being but having him in my life meant I could no longer do that. I could no longer wallow in misery. It meant I needed to do better. Not just for me but for him too. Finally, I could no longer ignore what my heart was telling me and I chose happiness. It was really hard for me to let go and let love in but when I did I fell head over heels. We missed out on eleven months of our 2 years together when he was deployed but we quickly picked up where we left off and have made up for lost time. It was a tough time for me but he was well worth the wait.

I am sitting at my desk at work when I hear a man say he is looking for me. He walks back to my desk with a package from Edible Arrangements. I am puzzled and completely surprised. This day never actually became our official anniversary because we became engaged the same year that we met and changed it to that instead for the following year. Inside are chocolate & peanut butter covered apples and a note that says "Do you remember what day today is?...I do." And of course I remember. It was only one of the best days of my life. And I smile because I am lucky and happy. And because I remember all the times it felt like there was nothing worth living for and thanks to Mj I now know without a doubt that there is.