Cookie Factory

Last week Mj tried out a new chocolate chip cookie recipe.  I crumbled like a cookie and ate 4 in one night!  I had one, then another.  Then, Mj gave me one, then another so technically, it was really all his fault.  He took the rest to work the next day and although I loved them dearly I was glad they were gone.  I came home from work and actually breathed a sigh of relief because I didn't see them.  Not that I looked or anything.  Turns out they were concealed in the microwave so of course I had to have a few that night.  Those ran out but now there are more! Mj volunteered to make cookies for a work event so on Sunday and Monday he turned our kitchen into a cookie factory.  He spent Sunday making the batter and about one batch out of each kind.  Then Monday he made the rest.  Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter Chip and Chocolate Chip with nuts.  There were bowls of batter and trays of cookies every where.  Every time he took a new batch out of the oven I wanted another one.  They are even harder to resist when they are fresh out of the oven and melt in your mouth warm.  These cookies are delicious I tell you!  They stay soft and chewy.  Every day I come home from work it's hard to resist eating at least one or two.  Well, it's been almost 24 hours since my last cookie fix...so I guess it's about time for another.

I Heart Quesadilla's

I can still remember my very first Quesadilla.  I was in Mrs. Malone's class in second grade.  It was a bilingual classroom and one day our activity was cooking Quesadilla's.  When it was my turn I put the tortilla down, scattered the cheddar cheese on top and waited for it to melt.  Back at my desk that first bite was an explosion of cheesy goodness.  To this day I still think it was the best Quesadilla I've ever had.  I have a bad memory so I don't remember all that much from my childhood but for some reason that moment stands out.  I went home and told my mom I wanted her to start making Quesadilla's for dinner and I've been hooked ever since. 

My yummy Quesadilla dinner

It's a really quick and easy dinner and I'm all for quick and easy.  Cheese and tortilla only is fine with me but adding chicken or steak takes it up a notch and adds to the deliciousness.  And you can really add just about anything you want for variety. This Delish.com Crazy for Quesadillas link has 16 interesting ways to make them.  I could eat Quesadilla's for 2 weeks and still have something a little different every night!   I have no problem eating the same thing every day especially if it's something I love.  I'd do it too-except for the cheese factor. It's absolutely one of my favorite foods.  Fattening or not I refuse let myself feel too bad about having it but even I wouldn't eat that much of it every day.  I can justify my cheese habit because it's high in protein and calcium.  It's good fat.  I've tried using fat free and low fat cheese but what is the point of eating cheese that won't melt?  Nope.  I want that gooey line of cheese between my mouth and my hand.  The fat makes it taste better and it's usually worth it. 

I've used Chicken before but Thursday night we used left over steak and added onions.  I had one with a Flour tortilla and one with a Corn tortilla.  Like a lot of foods it's much better for me to get my fix at home instead of a restaurant.  Their version can pack in 1,300 calories or more.  They load up on the cheese and grease up a giant tortilla...or two.  I'll only order one out if it's a reasonably sized appetizer portion.  My at home version is a fraction of that and just as tasty.  The hot gooey cheese....the crispy flaky tortilla.  It's Perfect.

What's For Dinner?

98% Fat Free Hebrew National Hot Dogs and Fat Free Pringles
I got fancy with it and toasted the bread in the oven.

The day after hubby's Birthday dinner I flat out told him.  "Don't expect me to eat today."  I pigged out the night before, I'd had a few indulgences over the week leading up to that and our vacation was just around the corner.  I felt like a stuffed pig.  I absolutely was not in the mood to have food pushed on me that day.  As soon as I said it I was totally relieved that I had the day ahead of me to eat what I wanted when I wanted and yes...how little I wanted.  I love food as much as the next person.  Maybe even more!  I am a cheese addict.  I love anything with cheese particularly Casadilla's and Pizza.  I have a major carb addiction too.  I can eat bread like nobody's business.  I have a sweet tooth.  I probably crave candy more now then I ever did as a child and my favorite dessert in the whole wide world is Molten Chocolate Lava cake.  I can and do get my grub on but sometimes I really don't want to.  I am a calorie tracker.  Using my phone app it's like a fun game to me.  I enjoy eating but I also enjoy staying within my calorie budget.  To do this I watch my portions and use a lot of low fat substitutions.  I might eat ice cream every night for dessert but it will be light ice cream and only the 1/2 cup serving size. You can eat anything in moderation.  Mj calls it an obsession with calories and weight.  I call it discipline.  It's how I am and I don't think I can totally change it so my goal is to manage it.  Which I think I've been doing a pretty good job of despite his statement of a month ago that I have gotten too thin.  I beg to differ.  I know I  should be adding fruits and vegetables on the side instead of pretzels but I am making an effort and sometimes I just want to be left alone when it comes to my eating habits.  I'm a snacker, I don't want 3 squares a day and if I eat too much one day I simply don't want much the next.  I'm an adult.  Let me eat what I want. 

Longtime fav:  PBJ.  With a side of pretzels.

Low Sodium Fat Free Ramen [280 cals].  Hot commodity.
You can't find this stuff every where.

Like a lot of women, I have a complicated relationship with food.  I love to eat it but then I bust my calorie budget and I love to hate it even more.  Every time I turn around there is some social event with food or sweet treats floating around the office that interfere with my food plans.  Sure, no one has a gun to my head but it's the only time I allow certain indulgences so I usually can't resist.  I skip my healthy snacks to compensate which I know is not good for me.  Then, I come home to Mj saying, "What are we having for dinner" and the reality of it is that I just don't care.  The structure of Breakfast and Lunch annoys me and Dinner is whatever.  I'm a snacker and I can only squeeze so much into my calorie budget.  I'll get a craving for popcorn and want to eat that instead and call it dinner.  Day to day at home I prefer light and easy meals.  Ones that are prepared in the microwave, can be eaten off of a paper towel or that don't require any heat whatsoever are fine with me.  If I get hungry later I can have a snack.  Can you tell I love my snacks?  Or if it's a "real" meal then I want Salads with chicken or Grilled Chicken Breast with Veggies.  If we grab something out my #1 go to is always Subway or a Chicken & Rice bowl.  I'm down for Pizza but reluctantly because I love it so much but sometimes have a hard time with knowing when to stop.  Well, I know when to stop, I just don't want too!   I prefer to reserve hearty meals for dining out or social gatherings.   

Albertson's Fresh Baked French Bread with Fat Free
Mozzarella Cheese.  Forgot that stuff doesn't melt.

Only $3.50 at the Grocery store.  Prep time: 1 minute. 

 With Mj out of town I've been getting a bit of a break.  I can snack the day away and I've been eating things like Fat Free Ramen, Hot Dogs, Sandwiches and bread for dinner.  Yes, bread.  I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.  Ok, so maybe I do.  Day to day nutritionally  meals snacks like that are not the best but that's what I want.  And trust me when I say my diet has improved from where it was just two years ago.  With Mj around I've had to make some changes.  When I lived alone I never cooked.  I barely even had pots and pans and food was way low on my priority list.   For Mj's sake I have stepped up my cooking game over the last year since we moved into our new house and have even started to enjoy it a little bit but the rigmarole of shopping for and preparing meals is too much for me sometimes.   I only have so many free hours after work and the gym as it is and I don't even want dinner half the time so finding the motivation to cook is hard.   I've fallen off the wagon lately and I need to start up again with that.  He gets home earlier then I do.  He is a great cook AND he loves to do it.  Neither statement particularly applies to me but he cooks for us so I will return the favor even if it's not my favorite thing to do.  He is adventurous whereas I could eat the same thing every day for months on end and be just fine with it.  I like the comfortable routine of predictable meals and it sometimes rattles me if I can't plan ahead.  Mj is a foodie so I really do try to get over myself and my own issues and participate so it is something we can enjoy together. 

I might have the palate of a 10 year old and just want to eat a sandwich every single day but it's not just about me.   It's about cooking a meal and eating it together or roasting S'mores in the back yard.  Indulging in something totally fattening just for the hell of it, experimenting with new recipes or having pancakes for dinner.   It's also about being healthy.  I have to remind myself that that food is HEALTH.  It is not just something to resist or dread.

Caller #9 and Meatloaf

How in the world does anybody ever get through?  Because every time I called all I got was a busy signal or an automated voice telling me that my call could not be completed.  I didn't win the Cirque Du Soleil tickets, Hornblower cruise dinner for two, Disneyland family four pack OR the Lady Gaga tickets (which I was planning to sell for profit).  But I did win the two night stay at the Riviera Hotel in Palm Springs!  On my way home from work yesterday I heard them ask for caller #9 again so I figured I'd give it another shot.  I dialed and then pressed the speaker button since I don't have blue tooth.  I can't hear if it's ringing or what so I raise it to my face and immediately drop it down when I see 5.0 to my right.  The last thing I need is to get pulled over.  It's just ringing, and ringing, and ringing and just as I am about to hang it up that DJ voice I hear on my radio is telling me that I won.  He's like what are you calling in for?  I stutter out "...Uh, the tickets."  He laughs that I don't even know what I was calling for.  I was just so distracted by the fact that I actually got through and trying to make sure the cop wasn't coming after me that I turned into a stuttering idiot. 

I got home and said "Hey honey I won something else!  Road trip time."  I probably wouldn't have planned a trip there but since the hotel is free....I'm there!  We probably won't be able to go until September because apparently he's made it his mission to travel as much as he can in 2011.  Starting at the end of this month his business and pleasure trips are taking him to various cities, four different states, and out of the country over the course of the next six months.  He's so booked we barely managed to schedule in our SF trip that we've been wanting to do since last year.  I don't care when we go as long as we do.  In the meantime it's nice to have another fun trip to look forward to.

In other news.  I made my first meatloaf using the simplest recipe I could find.   I'll probably make a few changes the next time I do it but it turned out pretty tasty and was very easy to make. I don't cook a lot but still, I never thought I'd see the day when I'd actually be doing it at all.  Just trying to be a good wife.  If that means cooking dinner and winning us weekend getaways then so be it.

Winter Grillin'

He got a new toy

Neither sleet, snow, darkness or rain can keep him away

Nice grills are expensive! Mj had a good one but it got totally destroyed in the move.  I was thinking one of those old school three legged ones that has two wheels and takes actual charcoal would be good enough but that wasn't exactly what he had in mind.  After much shopping around and extensive research he finally found the perfect one one about a month ago.  It's easy to clean, the parts that dismantle are dishwasher safe and it's made of heavy cast iron.  It's still Winter and we haven't even hit Spring yet but that hasn't stopped him from getting out there.  He's grilled sliders, steaks, chicken, bratwurst and asparagus so far.  I usually watch him from the sliding glass door because it's too cold for me to go out there.  He's probably out there a couple times a week.  He loves it!  I think it might be hereditary.  When we went out to visit his family in Delaware in DECEMBER his dad was outside on the grill standing in the icy cold when we pulled up to the house.  Mj loves to cook inside so I guess it should come as no surprise that he likes to do it outside too.

Dinner!!

It's a giant monster of a propane grill and I don't even know how to use the darn thing.  Even so, I am looking forward to warmer weather and finally getting some patio furniture so I can get out there and enjoy it too.  I'm not sure I get what is so awesome about that grill that he is out there wearing flip flops in the cold trying to beat the rain to get our dinner cooked but I sure love to eat whatever comes off of it.  Tonight's chicken dinner. 

Let Her Eat Cake

Having a baby is no joke.  You first must host this child inside your body for 9 months and watch your stomach get bigger then you ever thought possible.  Your body goes through all kinds of changes, hormonal and everything else in between, and then you have to either push it out or have it surgically removed.  The miracle of life is beautiful and all but still-I shudder at the thought.  My poor big sis went through a lot to bring her little man into this world.  She had a hard time getting pregnant in the first place, had a miscarriage, then had fibroids removed to try getting pregnant again.  Once she did get pregnant again those fibroids grew right back with a vengeance causing her painful early contractions.  Then on top of that-gestational diabetes.  Not just the kind that requires diet modification.  She had to actually do daily insulin injections.  She LOVES to eat and HATES needles so this was very hard for her.   But she did it so she could have her healthy baby boy.

The Pastry Chef goes to work

Mj volunteered to make her a sweet sugar filled cake after she had the baby.  He doesn't make the kind that comes out of the box.  He makes the whole darn thing from scratch including the frosting.  The last one he made in June was one of the best cakes I've ever had.  He is very serious about his cakes.  He does research to come up with just the right recipe and he wants it to be just right.  Big sis requested double chocolate so he spent Friday evening making it so we could bring it to her on Saturday.  It turned out just lovely!

Double Chocolate Cake 100% from scratch

We drove to mom's house where big sis is staying on Saturday afternoon.  We all oohed and ahhed over this cake and my mom went out to get ice cream and milk to go with it.  The three of us went to a late lunch and when we got back it was CAKE time and this cake did not disappoint.  The bad news is that she might still have diabetes even though it is supposed to go away after mom delivers.  She is waiting on her test results right now.  The good news is this little guy gets cuter by the day.  We do plenty of oohing and aahing over him too.

He is so sweet!  Four weeks old.

DJ hates his pacifier.  He eats and then his eyes get all droopy as he falls asleep.  His yawns are so big and he makes the most adorable funny faces.  Even Mj finally broke down and wanted to hold him.  As cute as he is he is a lot of work but big sis is embracing her new role as a stay at home mom and I know she will be a good one.

New mom and baby.  Two weeks after C section.

As for that cake.  As good as it was I'm glad it's not in our house because I already know I would eat way too much of it.  I already have my birthday cake request in for April and have already decided that I don't care how much of that one I eat.

Cinnamon Biscuits

They taste even better then they look

Whenever the topic of Cinnamon biscuits comes up my sister always reminds me of how crazy I was for claiming that I didn't like them...even though I had never even tasted them.  She'd make them and go on and on about how good they were and beg me to try but I refused.  I'd wrinkle my nose in disgust and say "I don't like 'em."  Probably for something silly like that they had butter on them and I don't like butter.  I have no idea how I resisted that cinnamon aroma.  I have a tendency to dismiss foods without trying them and as a result I didn't start eating pineapples until this year and I've only been eating strawberries now for about the last 4 years.  I didn't like the way they looked.  I know...crazy right?

Cinnamon biscuits was a childhood breakfast favorite for me and my big sis.  Once I finally gave in and decided to try them that is.  I don't know where the recipe came from but we really loved them as kids.  Many Saturday mornings we would get in the kitchen and make and devour them together.  I don't think I've eaten them since I moved out of my parents house.  It's been a long time.  Over the last few years I've mentioned to Mj how good they are.  "If they're so good then why don't you make 'em for me?"  So, I finally did this morning.  I introduced this yummy childhood favorite to my husband and needless to say he's a fan too.  They are so delicious.  It's like this warm buttery cinnamony sugar explosion in your mouth.  You definitely won't find it on the weight watchers menu so don't even try.

This just so happens to be the only thing I can make without a recipe.  They are just that simple and quick.  I measure out the butter, cinnamon and sugar just by eye balling it.  Here is how you make it in case anyone wants to give it a try.  We've always made them for breakfast but they really could be dessert too.

Ingredients:

• Pre cut Biscuit dough-1 Can Pilsbury
• Butter  2 Tbsp
• Sugar 2/3 Cup
• Cinnamon 1 1/2 Tbsp

Cooking Directions:  Mix the Sugar and Cinnamon together in one small bowl.  Melt the butter in a different bowl inside the microwave.  With a fork dip one biscuit at a time into the melted butter so that it's totally covered then  dip it into the cinnamon sugar mixture until the entire biscuit is covered. Place each biscuit in the cake tin so that they slightly overlap. Repeat until all biscuits have been dipped and bake on 400 for 10-13 minutes.  Remove and enjoy.  That's what I did.

I used I can't believe it's Not Butter but there is no sugar coating it-excuse the pun.  Even that can't detract from the fact that I am eating biscuits coated in butter, sugar and Cinnamon.  They are definitely a guilty pleasure and means I can eat....uh not much else for the rest of the day! It was definitely worth it though.  I am certain that I should work out after such decadence to burn it off but I'm not really in the mood for it....when am I ever? With my bikini filled honeymoon coming up..... lets just say I won't be making a habit out of this.

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Grocery Shopping Is No Fun

I've been spoiled.  So far Mj and I have always done our major grocery shopping trip together.  We are miserably low on food since we haven't done a major trip in almost 3 months!  He's been out of town for work all week and will be again next weekend.  He'd be too tired tomorrow.  There isn't time to drag him along this time so I had to go solo.

Going to the commissary on base saves us money on sales tax and lower prices but it is does not necessarily save us on time since it's about 16 miles away.   Like going to Walmart on a Saturday you have to mentally prepare yourself for it.  The aisles are ridiculously crowded so you have to maneuver your way through that but they actually hire enough people to work there so they get you checked out pretty quick.  Because it's not so close we do our big grocery shopping trip there then run down the street to Ralph's or Sprout's for anything else we need in between.  Which has been quite a bit because we haven't done the greatest job of planning our shopping around specific recipes so when it comes time to cook we never have everything we need.  This time was different!  I went alone AND I was armed with a shopping list that includes grocery items for 4, count 'em FOUR recipes.

Grocery shopping is this exhausting process of transferring items from one place to another over and over again.  You put the items from the shelf into your cart and push it around as it gets heavier and heavier.  Then you load it onto the check out counter.  Then, the baggers put it all right back into your cart.  You get to take the stuff out of the cart for the second time and load it into the car.  Then, finally after all of that you get to stock your shelves at home.  Not fun and so much easier to do with two.  At least I don't have to lug them through a gate and up a flight of stairs from street parking anymore like when I lived in the condo.

My single gal fridge in 2006

What a difference 4 years makes.  This was the normal state of my fridge when I lived alone.  I didn't have too many visitors but when I did they always marveled at just how little I had in my fridge.  That turned to down right shock when they insisted that I must eat out all the time and found out that I did not.  Everything I needed was actually right there and in two small cabinets.  Needless to say my diet was pretty minimal.  There was no cooking and dinner was mostly canned soup or a deli sandwich.  Every single day.  Oh, and lots of pretzels.  And that was just normal for me.  Not only was it great for my waistline it was definitely easy on the budget.  I think I only spent about $45 per month max on groceries!

Our fully stocked fridge

Mj isn't exactly down for that.  Like most people he needs a little bit more variety and quantity so this is what our fridge looks like now and the pantry is full.  I spent about $160 but that will probably last us for close to 2 months aside from little things here and there.  When it comes time to cook we will actually have the ingredients to do it and there are plenty of healthy snacks to munch on.  Mj got lucky this time.  He got to skip the shopping trip AND I plan to have dinner on the table for him when he gets back home tomorrow.  I've spent this entire 3 day weekend alone.  No plans, no nothing.  Just me.  Relaxing, sleeping in and getting some errands done.  I'm definitely ready for some company tomorrow.

Stay Home and Bake Cookies

We were supposed to go to K and A's house for dinner on Saturday night but they cancelled. I love this couple. We were over at their house for dinner just last Sunday and I had a really good time but my first thought was, "Yeah, a free day AND night!!" It seems that as of late those have been hard to come by for us. Every Sat and Sun has been filled with social activities and that can get tiresome for a homebody such as myself. It leaves me no free time to relax let alone any time to clean house or take care of business. When they decided they would just go out to dinner instead of doing dinner in Mj had barely finished telling me and I was already saying, "I'm not going." We are probably going to over there next weekend, I have a baby shower on Sunday and I had already made up my mind that this would be a day of no plans and that was that. Mj could have gone without me but I'm glad he didn't.

Chocolate Chip

I got to spend Saturday cleaning and doing laundry. Super exciting I know-but totally necessary. I had a chance to get my car washed and a pedicure. There was no place to rush off to so when we were good and ready we baked chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies. The funny thing is it was actually my idea to make cookies. Me who refused to cook and bake as a child and into adulthood. I want to bring cookies to our jobs to thank our co workers for the wedding gifts they got us.  We have an awesome-extremely heavy- Kitchen Aid mixer which makes the mixing process a breeze. Fancy Mj likes to pour all of his ingredients into those little clear pyrex bowls like they do on the food network. He has a reason for it that I don't quite get. All it does it create more dishes if you asked me so I don't see the point. I'm not a huge fan of dishes but I hate a messy kitchen worse so I assumed my usual role and did dishes as we went along so I wouldn't have to deal with them later. We ended up with 4 dozen chocolate chip and 3 1/2 dozen peanut butter. They are so delicious when they first come out of the oven. I've never much enjoyed being in the kitchen though it's changing a little bit as I've been making an effort lately to be a good wifey and get in there and cook. Surprisingly, baking cookies turned out to be a great way for us to spend a Saturday evening together.

 Peanut Butter.  We can do two trays at a time no prob with our convection oven.

After cookies I finally got around to watching The Runaways with Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning.  It was so good.  Those actresses are amazing!  Mj was already knocked out before the movie even ended.  You see, he didn't come home Friday night.  And we've only been married for less then a month!  No,  he's not in trouble.  He was out all night with a bunch of guys who just came back from overseas.  Accordingly, he drank too much to drive, crashed up there over night then made the 1 1/2 hour drive back home at about 8:00am Saturday morning.

I REALLY needed Saturday to relax , do errands and get some stuff done around the house.  Time to just BE.  Mj was able to get his homework done and finally clean up his mess of not yet put away clean laundry and still unpacked clothes from two weeks ago.  He likes to go, go, go but not me.  I need my time to chill out and take care of business.  He really needs it too even if he is too much of a busy body to realize it. 

Reception [Food Fest] Tasting

The tasting was less of a tasting and more of a all out food fest if you asked me. But, I am definitely not complaining. They offered passed hors d'oeuvres and wine or champagne while we were waiting to go into the tasting room. Once inside all of the food was set up buffet style and you could pretty much taste as much as you wanted of anything that was there. There was a lot to choose from! These are our plates just from round one.

We had Rosemary Chicken, Flat Iron Steak, Wild Rice Pilaf, Stuffed Shells, Mini Beef Wellington, Spring Rolls, dinner rolls, Garlic Mashed Potatoes and on and on. The provided a note sheet so we could take notes on what we liked and what we didn't. After tasting everything I think that we have decided that we like the Southwest Tri Tip steak. I originally figured I would just go for chicken because it's kind of generic and everybody likes chicken but this meat was so tasty and we both really liked it so beef it is. I am debating over if I want to put a beef or vegetarian option on my RSVP cards or not. Or, just tell them on our website that if they are a vegetarian to let us know? I think if we have dual entrees served then we have to provide menu cards and I am not exactly sure what that would entail. I guess I need to find out because I am planning on ordering my invites this weekend.

Southwest Tri Tip Steak

The reception package we chose is $55 per person [plus sales tax and 19% gratuity of course!!]and includes the following:

• One hour bar service including cocktails, beer, wine, punch, and sodas
• Assorted cheese & cracker display during cocktail hour
• Starter, served entree, seasonal vegetables, dinner rolls
• Champagne toast and coffee/tea service
• Cake cutting service

I think that should be enough but I really liked some of the Hors d'oeuvres. It would costs $150 per 50 pieces to add those on. It would be nice to throw in something extra but that would be $300 minimum. We want to add on alcohol too after the cocktail hour and Mj and I both agree that alcohol is way more important! The next package up would be $20 more per person and include 4 hors d'ouerves AND an extra hour of bar service but that would be pushing our budget too much.

They also had some of their vendors on hand for everything from DJ and flowers to mobile spa services and chair covers. The cake vendor said he could do a peanut butter 3 tiered cake that serves 100 for $275, which is under budget. I found out that one of the sample centerpieces on one of the tables was $100!! That's exactly why I am making my own. $100 X 10 tables is $1000 bucks! Even $40 X 10 is too high for me. We visited all of the vendors and turned in our little card to enter the raffle but did not win anything. I was REALLY hoping to win the $500 ceremony but instead it went to a girl who is having a quincenera and doesn't even really need it. Sigh.

Overall it was a wonderful and fun event. Free dinner and wine is always nice! Of course it made me want everything but I have to bring myself down to earth. The recent renovation on the hotel looks great. They really rolled out the red carpet for us and I am very happy that we chose it for our venue.

McDonald's #2 With Sprite

In my old college days McDonald's was a staple in my weekly diet. That, Domino's Pizza, and Cup O Noodles. A couple years into College and some freshman 15 pounds later it was still one of my favorite's although I would normally limit it to weekends. At some point I stopped eating fast food french fries and hamburgers altogether save for the random few and far between times I might end up having it as a fourth meal with some friends after a night of being out. Nowadays the only thing I order from fast food restaurants is their salads. My diet totally changed to the point where I simply could not bring myself to do it. I went through a phase where I sort of gave up food altogether let alone fast food!

But yesterday Mj had a rare craving for it and since for years and years I've been talking about doing it I decided to join the fun. I used to order a Sprite but I got a Diet Coke this time around. I used to super size it but McDonald's has long since done away with that offering only Medium and Large so I went with the Medium. In the old days they didn't put the calorie info on the package and this time around I was too excited to be eating it to even take a look at it. I mean, I can always look it up online later and c'mon, if I ordered a hamburger and french fries how likely is it that I am concerned about calories and fat at this point anyways? Was it everything I dreamed it would be? YES! It was pretty yummy and it kind of felt good to be THAT bad and THAT indulgent for once. McDonald's after all is sort of the poster child for everything that is wrong with the American diet today and there I was eating it with vigor.

What I was surprised to find is that while enjoyable not only did the meal not really fill me up but that I was actually starving just a couple hours later as if I had eaten nothing at all. Mj had the same problem too. I don't remember that part. Granted, it was my only full meal for the day but still! $6.00 and 980 calories later....why am I still hungry? So, there I am having exceeded my calories and fat content for the day and yet I am hungrier then ever. I ate an apple and some string cheese as a snack but still went to bed hungry.

This morning I felt a little disgusted with myself. I mean, did I really have to go and do that? Nope, I didn't but I think it's a good thing I did.

• #1 I know that I am not missing out on all that much. Sure it was delicious but I really enjoy my healthier choice meals too and feel much better about myself after eating them and usually a lot more fulfilled.
• #2 it is another sign that I am doing well food wise. I used to have lists upon lists of foods that I absolutely could not would not eat. I used to go weeks without eating any actual solid meals. To go from that to being able to order a meal from McDonald's is actually a good thing. I can still be pretty regimental about my eating habits but I can vary from the norm too and it doesn't rule me anymore.

So today I have already decided that all I want for dinner is one lovely healthy sandwich with lunch meat and cheese between Sandwich Thins bread. Natures Own makes them too, but for only $2.00 which is a better price then Orowheat. I will probably have some pretzels with it. While it may not have the the curb appeal of my #2 with Diet Coke I have a feeling I am going to be just as glad to be eating it tonight.

Time to cleanse and degrease.

Burger Night

Last Week we stumbled upon Oroweat Sandwich Thins at Henry's Market inspiring Mj to declare Sunday burger night. I love bread so having a burger animal style with meat and lettuce to avoid all of the carbs and some of the calories in bread just doesn't cut it for me. These Sandwich thins are kind of pita style and they are only 100 calories each. You get the bread you crave but with way less calories, carbs and a whole lot more fiber. They cost $3.50 which really isn't all that bad.

Of course the burgers we used were extra lean. I topped mine with bleu cheese crumbles [my latest obsession], onions, 1 strip of bacon, ketchup and mustard. Mj topped his with sauteed mushrooms and onions, 1 strip of bacon, provolone cheese, ketchup, and miracle whip. Can you say delicious? We paired it with some high fiber Bush's baked beans and it was quite the delicious, simple, and not overly gluttonous meal. I got to have my burger and my bread. Oh, and of course nothing goes better with burgers then beer. For that we had Michelob Ultra in keeping with our carb saving theme.

All this, while watching the Saints Vs the Vikings. Sounds like a perfect Sunday dinner to me.

Cooking For Dummies

Since Mj has been home he's been cooking up quite a storm in the kitchen. Everything he makes tastes good and I am pretty much the assistant. I did make beef stew in the crock pot alone but not really because he told me everything I was supposed to do. I want to get into the kitchen and make dinner for him on my own so that's exactly what I did last night. I can't come up with meals off the top of my head like Mj. I don't know what Bay Leaves are or how to season food and put it together but that's what cookbooks are for right?

Mj puts me to shame in the kitchen and probably always will, but as his wife I still want to make my contribution to the cooking. I also think it's important to share and enjoy meals together. I think he will appreciate my effort and it makes me feel good to do something for him. My unwillingness to and lack of desire to do so in my previous marriage was a mistake that I don't plan to repeat. Food used to be my mortal enemy. It was always seen as something for me to resist so why would I want to bring more into my house and cook it? Especially when I could get by on canned soup, a sandwich, or nothing at all. Not only that but it was the LAST thing I wanted to do after getting home from work. That was the old me; things are different now.

Mj picked up the ingredients I needed while I was at work. I rushed home and into the kitchen to make the easy and totally not fancy Broccoli & Pasta Bianco. It's basically pasta, broccoli and cheese. I found the recipe online at Campbell's Kitchen. The site is full of simple and quick to prepare low fat recipes mostly centered around their canned soups. It fits right into my post holiday eating recovery plan and something a beginner like me should be able to handle. I needed something quick because I don't get home until 5:30pm or so.

I threw everything together and ended up with a lot of extra pasta that Mj will undoubtedly find something tasty to make with. It only took 25 minutes to bake and looked and smelled pretty good coming out of the oven. We had some dinner rolls with it and were able to eat by 7:15pm.

The verdict? It turned out OK. It could have had more flavor but it tasted good. I felt kind of bad because everything Mj makes is so delicious and mine was just so so. Chef Mj suggested that real garlic and pepper would have probably given it more flavor. The recipe called for some ground pepper and I added some Garlic salt but I guess that just didn't cut it.

I will never be on Top Chef but I was really hoping that I wouldn't end up on Worst Cook's In America either. We watched that show on Monday and the best that some of them could do is make canned soup or boil a chicken. I am not that bad off, but I am a long way from being good.

Post Holiday Eating

I did pretty good over the holidays in terms of not over indulging just because there was food and chocolate everywhere I turned. I tend to have pretty decent willpower when it comes to eating in moderation but it kind of went downhill for me on Christmas Eve. Mj and I stopped and got breakfast sandwiches from McDonald's on the way to my mom's. Once I got there I couldn't seem to stop eating, drinking, and snacking on everything in sight. That led right into our trip the day after Christmas. The only thing worse then holiday eating is vacation eating and I did plenty of it. We didn't eat out every single day but I found myself eating way more then I normally do and feeling just a bit like a stuffed pig. I have what is probably a bad habit of stepping on the scale every day and I hated it that I had no idea how much damage I was doing while I was away.

Granted, I have what Mj refers to as a "complex" when it comes to weight and food. I admit it. I tell him how fat I feel and he laughs and rolls his eyes telling me that I am not even close. I don't dare tell my friends I feel fat because it will probably just piss them off. I am not fishing for compliments or trying to be that annoying skinny girl who always complains about being fat. I really mean it. I appear slim on the outside to others even though I feel big on the inside so they are never all that sympathetic. I can't say that I blame them. On more then one occasion I was told by one of Mj's relatives that I was "so skinny," but I don't see that when I look in the mirror. I probably still ate less on the trip then what a lot of people do but it was WAY more then usual putting me outside my "comfort zone" and triggering my weight anxiety. Realistically, I know this but there is this thing inside my head telling me that because I gained 2.5 lbs over Christmas break that I am huge.

Anyhow, since I've been back I have fortunately not gone on a starvation diet as I might have done in the past. Aside from our New Years Eve steak dinner plus tons of bread and dessert [oh my] I have been on what I guess I will call a modified sandwich diet. I was just so sick of food and eating. I need to eat light right now just to unclog my system.

I am getting back into my "normal" eating routine and starting to feel better inside my skin which is good. I just have to keep it up.

Diet Fanatic

My fav "Lasagna Classico" at Olive Garden. I order it EVERY time I go.

I don't care about the rumors that it comes from a microwave.

I was talking to my big sis over the weekend and she was telling me about these insane new exercise video's that she bought that are in fact called the Shaun T "Insanity" workout and rightfully so based on what she told me. They are boot camp style drills and exercises where even the hard bodies in the background can't finish it and have to quit and take breaks. How often do you see that in work out videos? Not in any I've ever done. Apparently the work out is impossible and Shaun T himself is the only one on the planet who might be able to get through it.

Anyhow, she has been on a mission to loose weight for a while now. She was successful with Weight Watchers some years ago but since then the weight has crept back on and she has been almost powerless to stop it. She can and does exercise with the best of them but the problem that always stops her from reaching her goal is that she can't control her eating habits. She is somewhat of an emotional eater and like so many people, just loves food. She struggles with having the willpower she needs to get where she wants to to be.

It struck me that while she and so many in this world seem to be addicted to food I find that I have the opposite problem. People who know me also know that I am "weird" about food. It's something that has kind of followed me over the years and seems to be a part of who I am. My addiction is to dieting and like it or not I seem to be pretty good at it. It is a strange realization but based on my past it must be true. Some people might say they wish they had my problem and while it may sound desirable it comes with it's own set of negative pitfalls and consequences that are undesirable.

I have some kind of "fat phobia" and I have a love hate relationship with food. Its delicious, fun, and nourishes my body but it is also sometimes my enemy for reasons that I have not fully ever understood. I tend to be a picky eater to begin with but on top of that I really have a strong aversion to eating too many calories. Make no mistake about it. I love candy, Chocolate Molten lava cake with hot fudge and vanilla ice cream dessert, pizza, [light] beer and cheesy fried appetizers. There are days where this little fixation flies out the window and I eat mindlessly but the majority of the time I am annoyingly and acutely aware of everything I put into my mouth. It is natural to eat when you are hungry. The symptoms of hunger such as growling stomach or headache ensue and we eat right? Well, for me there is some kind of disconnect. In my case, I either don't fully recognize these cues or I ignore them altogether.

I do not have an eating disorder. You have only to look at me to see that I am of "normal" size proportions. I haven't been to the gym in a long time (though I need to). I have my weaknesses like cheese and bread. I am not "afraid" of food or eating in public. I just don't like eating too much of it and I do fixate on weight. I have to be very careful to ensure that I get enough nutritional value out of what I do eat. I must admit that more often then not I fail miserably particularly when I am alone to the point where I am under eating. I've lost some weight as a result. When Mj comes home I am hoping that he can help me to get back on track with better eating habits. I want to be healthy and I am not so sure that I am doing such a good job of that on my own.

I think it's just a quirk of my personality. I mean, I obsess over finances too!! So, my all time ultimate splurge meal is a McDonald's #2 (If that's still it's assigned number...it's been so long). It's the value meal with 2 cheeseburgers, french fries, and a soda. My freshman year in college I used to eat that meal super sized along with an overabundance of Domino's Pizza and Cup O Noodles. And yes, that is where my freshman 15 came from! Thankfully, it is long gone and then some. I'm going to order that #2 again some day just to say "to hell with it" and when I do, I'll be sure to write about every greasy delicious bite.

Ladies Only Monday Night Football

Last night a girlfriend and I got together for Monday night football and homemade pizza night. Her husband is gone a lot for work and my man is out of the country so we end up watching football alone the majority of the time (among other things). She is such the creative Susie home maker type. She is my idol!! When I got there she already had the dough made. Whole wheat made from scratch no less. Our primary topping was chicken that she cooked and seasoned herself. Not the Tyson pre-cooked kind that I wanted to bring. Our other toppings included olives, onions, tomatoes, feta cheese and basil. She didn't have a roller so the crust puffed up quite a bit, but I liked it that way. It was like deep dish style and I love me some bread. We had Budweiser Select 55. Two each thank you very much. It's like how low can you go when it comes to light beers. They have one upped Miller 64 and seeing as how I can't tell the difference I'll go for the lower calorie count brand every time.

This particular game wasn't all that exciting so we were chatting through most of it. It was a really fun time. It's nice to have great girlfriends to hang with and while I don't have a lot I really appreciate the ones I do have. There was a time when I really didn't have any friends at all and so I realize the importance of having these wonderful women in my life. There was also a time just two years ago when I didn't understand football at all. It seemed so complicated and confusing for some reason so I usually just tuned it out and wrote it off as something I just didn't get. But I finally said, if you can't beat 'em join em and I starting asking questions and really paying attention when football was on TV. Now I can really enjoy watching it along with everyone else. I'm not just cheering because everyone else is...I actually know what's going on.

To me watching a football game is a little mini social event and the whole experience is enhanced by having food AND friends. At home or at a bar, it's so much better shared then watched alone. Monday night football was a blast. Just the girls.

Have You Seen My Bread?

Have you seen my bread?

Don't you hate it when stores suddenly, inexplicably, and without warning stop carrying a product or brand that you have grown accustomed to. They put it in the store, they make you love it, then they take it away! How cruel.

I am a carb fiend and sliced bread is very important to me due to my morning PBJ habit. I loved the Delightful Sara Lee bread because it has a decent whole grain and fiber content all for only 45 cal's a slice. What I don't love is the price. I was buying it for a while regardless, but when it got up to $3.99 (although I can get it for a little less at Walmart-if I am in the mood to deal with that madness) it became ridiculous and so I needed to find another option. Enter Nature's Own wheat bread. It showed up right on time smack dab in the middle of my bread dilemma. Only $2.19 with similar nutritional values as Sara Lee for only 5 calories more. It even had a few more slices per loaf. I found it at my usual grocery store and I could even get it at Walmart if I happened to be doing some shopping there. Problem solved!

Until I was at Walmart a couple of weeks ago and they didn't have it. "Darn it, now I have to stop by the grocery store too." And to my dismay, they didn't have it either. So, there I am still searching the bread aisle as if it will somehow magically appear out of thin air just because I want it to. When that doesn't happen I start examining each and every brand to find an alternative because I refuse to pay Sara Lee prices. I eventually settle on Orowheat "Soft Family." Yep, that's what it's called and the bread certainly lives up to that name. At 65 cal's per slice is the lowest I could find and it has a reasonable fiber content. The price isn't as good as Nature's Own but it will have to do. I supposed I could try other grocery stores but grocery shopping is such a huge inconvenience to me even when it's close so I am not about to go out of my way to other stores even for my coveted bread. You can bet that every time I go to the store I will be looking for it in case it makes a comeback though.

Am I being cheap? Maybe, but I have always been big on bargain shopping and coupon clipping not only in the grocery stores but in the shopping malls too. Am I obsessing too much over the calorie count of my bread? Probably!! As far as I'm concerned on both fronts it all adds up and every little bit counts.

I Don't Really Cook

I cooked the last two of my frozen chicken breasts so I could eat one for dinner. This is a big deal for me because I do not cook on a regular basis. In fact, I think this is only the second batch of meat or other actual meal I've prepared that required the use of an oven since I have lived here. The first was probably about two years ago and was also chicken breasts. I know, it's really sad but I have lived alone for the last five years and my eating habits have gone up and down during that time frame to the point where cooking just has not happened very often. I am almost surprised when I smell the actual aroma of actual food coming from my kitchen. I am sure that will become less of an isolated incident when MJ gets back. When I went to his place on weekends cooking was something for us to do together and saved us from spending money on eating out ALL the time. I even got crafty once and made up my own recipe that turned out pretty tasty. My first marriage was so dysfunctional I don't even know where to start in terms of why me cooking ultimately never really happened but I definitely want things to be different this time. I never enjoyed cooking growing up. Maybe it's because my mom used to try to make me. She loves cooking and I always wished I did too. I just had no desire to do it; but somehow it's different for me now. The idea of providing for the man I love somehow makes it seem like less of a chore.

Cooking also represents making an effort to eat food with significant nutritional value. This is something I used to totally avoid at home. "Real meals" were reserved for eating out or with friends and family only. In between that at home, well let's just say the pickings were slim. For months and months on end I put three slices of lunch meat, a Kraft single, and mustard between two slices of Wonder bread. I paired it with exactly 14 fat free Pringles and called it dinner. And forget about actually going out and bringing any kind of food home. Money was so tight for a while that I simply couldn't spare it very often but in addition to that, it served a dual purpose of preventing me from eating "excessive" calories. More recently, I will get either Taco Bell or Subway if I want to go out and get something. Five dollar foot longs that last for two days and 99 cent tacos. I stick to the same order every time and know the calorie counts for each item. Old habits die hard. I will also eat Smart One's or Lean Cuisine's at home whereas before I would not. When I am alone It's just too easy for me to fall back into my old restrictive and routine patterns around food but it is getting better. Believe it or not the chicken tasted better then it looks! Boring and simple, but healthy, nutritious, and normal. Rachel Ray I am not-but it is definitely a step in the right direction for me.

Oh, the bummer for the day is that I think my garbage disposal is broken. When I turned it on today, instead of roaring to life like usual it just make this kind of dead buzzing sound. The crazy thing is I hardly ever even use the darn thing. Wonder how much this is going to cost me? My movie for the evening was I Love You Man. It was really good and funny. Now, I'm going to watch Make It Or Break It then go to bed. It is a really phony and dramatic new TV series on ABC Family that is targeted to kids half my age. It's the first show ever centered around Elite Gymnastics so have to watch it right? Well, that's how it started out, but I have to admit that I actually like it!

Eat This, Not That - The No-Diet Weight Loss Solution From Men's Health

Eat This, Not That - The No-Diet Weight Loss Solution From Men's Health

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I really like Men's Health's "Eat This Not That" concept. The idea is not about dieting and eliminating an entire kind of food but more about making better choices and still getting to eat foods you like. Without compromising your waist band. Here is one of the latest about healthy food swaps at fast food restaurants. I used to and still do have a tendency to try to separate foods into "good" and "bad"-what I can eat and what I can't. This in turn kind of gets me into that food restriction mode which is not the healthiest thing for me. The idea of basic food swaps sort of reinforces the notion that I CAN eat little bit of everything if I want to. By simply swapping secret sauce for mustard and ketchup I can still eat that delicious hamburger and save myself some calories so that I don't feel guilty about eating it. I don't have to eliminate entire food groups because I have decided they are "bad."