Define Soulmate

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:  A soulmate ( or soul mate) is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate. In New Age spirituality, the ultimate soulmate is the one and only other half of one's soul. However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations
soul mate
a person with whom one has a strong affinity

a person for whom one has a deep affinity, esp a lover, wife, husband, etc
soul mate Noun
1.  A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner

It really wasn't until I met Mj that the soul mate question ever really crossed my mind.  Up until then I was very doubtful of the concept and didn't give it much thought.  There is the life I led before Mj and the one I lead after.  The after is way better and such a stark contrast to the before.  I am a better happier person since I met him.  He literally saved me from myself.  The very fact that this person has transformed my life so much got me thinking.  If ever there was a soul mate then he must be it.  The answer you get when you ask someone about soul mates can be very telling about their relationship history.  It seems that if you have met your soul mate you know it and you are a believer.  If you have not then you aren't sure it exists and/or don't believe that you have met him.  The other question that comes to mind is can you have more then one?  If there is only one perfect soul mate in the entire world for you then the odds of finding that person are slim to none meaning that most who believe they have found their soul mate really haven't based on pure odds alone.  Makes sense, but I don't like those odds.  I think you can fall in love multiple times but all of those times won't be "real."  It's something you think is real and true at the time but don't realize it isn't until you have experienced it with a soul mate.

He is my heart
I don't think any of those definitions of soulmate do the word justice.  "A person for whom one has a deep affinity" could be anyone and a lot of  people at that.  A soul mate is more then a deep affinity.  It has to be.  I know there are mythical implications and I'm not really sure what I believe about all of that but I do believe that I have met my soul mate...whatever that is.  For me it means that I have met someone who is the perfect person for me in every way.  A person who I am meant to be with.  How else could our relationship be so easy and amazing?  How else could this sense of comfort, peace and certainty have washed over me despite all initial efforts to fight it? We have fun and enjoy spending time together. I am totally at ease in his presence.  There is no drama nor has there ever been.  I trust him completely.  There is this myth that relationships are hard.  Not only that, but that they are supposed to be.  If you believe this then maybe you haven't met your soulmate.  My relationship is not hard at all.  We don't fight.  We ebb and flow around and through each other as naturally as could be.  His strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa.  We are on the same page in so may ways.  We agree on a lot and what we don't is usually simple enough to resolve.  We know when to push or when to pull back without being told.  I find it difficult to even be mad at him.  We balance each other out in a way that makes loving him and being with him feel like something I was meant to do.  Does it annoy me that he has some sort of aversion to putting away his stuff?  Yes, but this amazing ability to love him deeply in spite of any flaw that he may have is somehow stronger then my annoyance.  Anything that comes with loving this man is worth putting up with and it hardly even feels like a sacrifice.  I may drive him nuts to no end but there he is every morning giving me a kiss before he goes to work while I'm still in bed.  We respect each other and I find him to be one of the the most handsome men alive.  Without a doubt I know that we will be in love and happy together for the rest of our life and that there is nothing that we can't handle together. 

Is this presumptuous?  Perhaps.  But it's the way I feel.  There is simply no doubt when it comes to him.  It is painful to even briefly summon the thought of what life would be without him.  I shake my head and push it away because of this feeling that life is not worth living unless he is by my side.  At times I am totally overwhelmed with this incredible feeling of love for him.  This indescribable wave of emotion that brims out of my heart and fills up my soul.  I am so lucky and happy that this wonderful person has been placed in my life.  Sometimes when he kisses me on the top of my head or gives me a tight little squeeze for no particular reason there is a moment of clarity where I say to myself, "Oh my gosh, he loves me." And it is such a thrill.  This is very powerful stuff!  I've been married before.  The first time around never felt even close to this.

He might be my soul mate but that doesn't mean that I can take him or our relationship for granted.  I'm not saying that challenges won't come our way or that there will never be problems.  Life is unpredictable and anything can happen.  Maybe we will eventually have an argument or something bigger to tackle but I feel that we are so well matched that we will be able to deal with it.  Together.  Having said all of that I still don't think I've defined soulmate but I'm ok with that.  Like Love it's a feeling more then anything else and experienced in so many different ways by different people that it cannot be fully captured or defined.  Words alone just don't do it justice.

Do you believe in soulmates?  If not, then why?  If so, have you met him?


Lil' Woman said...

I do....I wouldn't be able to picture my life now without Big Man..nothing would ever be the same.

Faith said...

I do, I truly believe in my heart that Sean is mine. Why? I've never felt like this for anyone in my life and I've never been happier. I know exactly what you meant when you wrote that you have to shake the thought of life without him. I have to do ... It would be unbearable and it sucks to think that I would be completely broken. The unhappiness I know I would feel completely breaks me and I have to always shake the thoughts.

Abbie said...

I could have written this post myself. I view my life in the same way; life before and after Ryan (new Ryan, just to clarify!). The differences are night and day and my life feels easier because of him.

Oh my friend, I love, love, love this post:)

chelsea said...

beautiful, thoughtful and inspiring post! Everyone could use a little soul-mate pep talk now and then ;)

Carla said...

Beautifully written and you can tell it's truly from your heart. I absolutely adore that picture. It really compliments the purpose of this entry.

I believe in soulmates. I believe that God put someone one this Earth that will be perceived as perfect to them. I believe it's too soon to determine whether or not my current boyfriend is my soulmate, but he is everything that I've never had as of now.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

The soul is a big part of who we are and I think there are different people that we are connected to at different times in our lives. Hubby is definitely the one for me because he has helped me to become a better version of myself. I don't know if that makes him my soulmate because I'm also very connected to my BFF for differing reasons. I believe God put both of them here to help different parts of my soul. The post is very poignant and so is the picture! Beautiful:-)

MoneyMaus said...

Beautiful post! I have always believed in the concept of a soul mate, however a few years ago (after reading "Around the World in 80 Dates") the idea of having multiple soul mates makes even MORE sense to me.

I haven't met mine yet but I 100% know I will. And I absolutely cannot wait until that day, because I know it will be the easiest and most amazing relationship EVER! :) Thanks for this pick up me post - I needed it as there's no romantic interest in my life at the moment.

Nylse said...

i dont know if i believe in soulmates but i do know my husband is the one for me. like you, he has made me a better person, and sometimes i cant imagine life without him. we ebb and flow. we agree on the major things that are important to us.
i've been married for 22 years, and it doesnt feel hard...but i do know you have to put in the effort. the degree of love changes over the years...i'm not as hot and bothered now as i was 22 years ago, but i'm more settled.
i still don't know about soulmates...but i'm glad my husband is mine.

Ameena said...

I envy you and your relationship with MJ. Clearly you are writing from the heart here, and the gorgeous photo says it all.

I sort of waffle on if I believe in soul mates or not, depending on how much my husband irritates me that day. The truth is that if I hadn't met him I don't know if anyone else would have ever put up with me. But would anyone else really put up with him? Who knows. In that way we are definitely soul mates. But was it love at first sight? Absolutely not.

I realize this answer is totally vague...but like I said, I'm still on the fence about this! Feel free to ignore my drivel. :)

Dancy said...

I always thought that whole line about "If you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be" thing was total nonsense & cheezy BS. But I have to admit, Dan & I dated for a year, broke up for FIVE yrs and then got back together, sooo... maybe there's something to it afterall. ;)